lRAL BARE, Editor and Proprietor
. r SUBSCRIPTION BATES.
OnYear, cash in advance, IL25.
Six Months, cash in advance 75 Cents
Entered at the NorthPlatte Nebraska) postofflce as
second-clasematter.
TUESDAY, MAY 11, 1897.
After the pop committee is
through examining- the books of the
late republican state officials, it
should investigate the act of the
late legislature and see if there
is not cause to bring an action
against some of the members or
clerks on th chunre ot raisiner the
jigiires in the bills relating to sal
arles.
It is very srratifviflff to learn
fj m ;
from Dun & Co's. last trade review
that actual sales in April by lead
ing houses in each line of business
in the orincioal cities east of the
i
Rocky mountains averages only
about 10 per cent less than in April,
1892. the vear of the largest busi-
j
ness hitherto and were 6 per ceut
more than in the same month last
year. If our free silyer friends will
just keep on their clothes a few
months longer the republican party
will prove to them that it is fully
able to make good all the promises
made during the last campaign.
The sound money democrats of
Michigan having polled 31,000 votes
at the spring election against 6,000
last fall, the Louisville Courier-
Journal expects Kentucky to show-
as large a gain for old-fashioned
'democracy next November. If the
Michigan ratio should hold good
in
other northern and western states
tlie silvente democrats will see
ereneral defeat next iall. This in
crease represnts the democrats who
shut theireyesand voted for Bryan in
order to be "regular" on national
issues, but have repented of
their sin. A like result in Ne
braska will put a very different
face on politics in this section of
the prairies. Journal.
Gov. Holcomb
how very small
has
again
shown
a partisan he can
be, in the matter of the appoint
ment ot three judges to the muni
cipal bench of Omaha. The law
provides that they shall be chosen
from three different parties. The
governor has met this requirement
by appointing one free silver demo
crat, one populist ind one free sil
ver republican, all being embraced
within the popocrat fusion party in
the state. The republican party
is ignored entirely. This may
strike Gov. Holcomb and some
members of his party as a very in
teresting game of politics, but it
brands him as unfit for a public
position. Hub.
Warwick Saunders. deputy
state oil inspector, has recently re
turned from Austin, Texas, where
he was in attendence as a dele
gate upon the conference for the
purpose of planning to secure lower
freight rates to the Gulf of Mexico
and further a movement for a north
and south road. Mr. Saunders has
made an extensive and comprehen
sive report to the governor, which
states that a saving of three cents
per bushel on grain can be effected
by the perfection of this route.
Taking the Nebraska shipments of
1893, which are not large, he esti
mates that the savings would be
S3.362.525. There would be a cor
responding reduction on 32,462 cars
of cattle, 25,611 cars of hogs and
59,121 cars of mixed freight.Ex.
It is gratifying to learn that
Senator Jones of Nevada will not
go back upon his life-long princi
ples in favor of protection for the
sake of any uncertain gain for the
free-silver organization in the
future. More than twenty ears
ago Senator Jones, then compara
tively an unknown man, made a
national reputation through a
speech in the senate in which he
mastered the subject of finance and
did more toward shaping the finan
cial course of President Graut's ad
ministration than did any other
statesman of that period. Not since
that time has he been placed in
such leading and responsible posi
tion as now, when he holds the bal
ancs of power between the contend
ing parties, and throws his vote and
influence with the party with which
he has worked during the greater
part of his official life. It cannot
be laid at his door that his course
is shaped by any undue influence,
for until the free-silver rade Sen
ator Jones was a pronounced,
straightforward, consistent repub
lican, and the principles at issue
are the same he has advocated.
That he now puts principles and
the interests of the people ahead of
vague and uncertain, gains for free
silver in the future will be marked
as wise and just and statesmanlike
by every thoughtful mind. Inter
Ocean.
HOW TO WRITE A BURLESQUE.
If you want to write a musical burlesque,
The recipes yon never must ignore.
You needn't bonraudnK or grotesque.
Per contra, you should never fail to bore.
Yon needn't care a jut for the nature of tho
may run the booking dry
But yen certainly will fail if your idiotic tale
Doesn't iutroducc a nigger lullaby.
You must maka a naughty reference now and I
then
To tho funny littlo things they do in 'France,
And, if failing to express it with your pen,
You can illustrate your meaning with a
dance,
While no matter what your story, you must
mouth about tho glory
Of the soldier or the sailor far away.
Like a strippling of a Kipling or like Tommy
when he's tippling,
You aro bound to write a patriotic lay.
Then you introduce a broker or a Jew,
A soldier must bo pitted with a snob,
And the idiotic heroine must woo
In a song that is supposed to make you sob.
If you start act ono at home, in the secondjroa
mustroam. . - -""
the-contiii'ont, to India or Japan.
And of late ho dolly ditty is considered rather
pretty.
For it's well to bo domestic when you can.
You needn't bo particular -with rhymes.
"Mamma" and "far" aro jingled by tho
throng.
While "lovo" end "movo" how many, many
times!
Aro coupled in the sentimental song.
A lavish lot of frocks (that display tho wear
er's clocks)
Must never, never possibly bo missed.
While your prospects will bo bright if tho risky
opening night
Sees your "comedy" most vigorously lilpsed.
J. M. Barrio in Sketch.
A HEROIC ACT.
One fine evening in December I pulled
off in tho coaling company's smart gig
to tho 8,000 ton tramp steamer Corona,
then rolling cn Ihe leng Atlantic swell
just outside the breakwater of Las Pal
mas harbor, Grand Canary. As tho
white gig flashed through tho clear
green water there was ample opportun
ity to look at tho vessel, and her appear
ance was by no means pleasing. With
her full bows, square qnarters, huge up
right funnel and rnsty sides, she was
not an attractive objpet as, loaded down
to the last inch with nitrate from South
America, she wallowed in the long sea
slopes that swept round tho end of the
breakwater. Climbing over tho low
rail and forcing my way through a pan
demonium cf swarthy Spanish coal
heavers, dealers in fruit and tobacco
and venders of canaries, the latter al
ternately coaxing and abusing their
feathered merchandise in the vain hope
of making them sing. I met Captain
Crautou.
"She's not exactly a floating palace,
but with fino weather will take you
home all right, and you can seo what a
deep tramp is liko at sea, " said the lat
ter.
Just then a dilapidated looking Eng
lishman, clad in greasy dungaree, with
a battered engineer's silk cap on his
head, thrnst on one ride a gesticulating
Spaniard who was trying to force a
bunch of hard bauauas and a half dead
canary on a grinning nreman ana,
touching his grimy forehead, asked:
'Are you Captain Crautou, sir?"
"Yes," said tho officer. "What is it
you want?"
"I want to seo if there's any chance
of working a passago home. I'm a boiler
maker and have served as fourth en
gineer. I'm starving here, was tne
answer.
"H'm! What aro yoa doing in Las
Palmasthen deserted, Isuppose?" said
the captain.
' 'No, sir. It was this way. I shipped
at Liverpool aboard cf the Coquimbo to
load coal at Cardiff for Rio, and the
night aforo she sailed I met Tom Ste
venson, who served his time at Dun-
lop's."
"Nevermind Stevenson gocn," in
terjected tho skipper.
"Well, wo went to havo a partin
glass or two not too much, sir; about
a Jjottlo of whisky atweeu two of us
an when they turned us out at 1 1 Tom,
ho sits in tho gutter, and sez he, 'I
won't go homo till mornincr. ' I sez,
'Don't bo a fcol, Tom,' and a p'leece-
man comes, so 1 goes ctt and makes
down to the coal tips. It didn't seem
quite tho right tip, but I sees a big four
masted boat with a yellow funnel, and
sez I, 'That's tho Coquimbo I knows
the ugly look of her. So I crawled
aboard aud goes to sleep in the fo'c'sle.
When I awakened up, she were rolling
heavy far out at sea, and when I got on
deck I says to myself, 'It's another san
guinary African boat' So it was, and
they made mo scrape paint, and when
wo got here the skipper he sez, 'Clear
out and be thankful you ain't locked up
by the consul,' and I lauded without a
cent"
Tho captain hesitated and looked at
the man once or twice, while tho latter
spat calmly on tho deck. At last he said
half to himself: "Tho chief wants an
other hand with that broken down en
gine of- his, " then, raising his voice:
All right, I'll take you if the chief en
gineer approves. Go and see him. Mind,
I'm not going to sign you on aud pay
more than you're worth for stamps, but
if you behave I'll givo you a trifle to
go ashoro with."
While I leaned over tho rail, smokinc
and watching tho foam crawl past
crawl is tho proporword the chief offi
cer came aloug, and in reply to my
query said:
"What kind of a boat is she? Wnll. I
you can see about as hard an old tramp
as was over launched into the German
ocean. Besides, we've been knocking
about for months, and there's shells and
grass on her a foot long. Tho engineer
says his mill is all to hits too." Subse
quent experience proved that this de
scription was by no means exaggerated
luruiug out early nearly next morn
ing, I climbed to the poop for the Cor
ona was of tho usual well deck build
and could see nothing hut au azuro cir
cle above and a sweep of sparkling, foam
necked sea below, piled into ridue3 bv
the fresh trade breeze, across which tho
'a. 1 1 1 1
steamer siowiy roned.
Ono glance at the water, withnnt:
looking at tho log dial, was sufficient to
snow tnac sue was ouiy going six jfuoio.
So, climbing down the narrow, steel
ranged ladder, I made my way forward
over tho slippery iron deck, dodging
the spouts of water which gushed in
through the scuppers at every roll, to
look for the chief engineer. Passing the
engine room door, the thumping and
clanging that floated up were quite
enough to tell of worn out journals and
general out of liueduess to one who
could interpret it I found the chief in
his room, rubbing his hands with tho
inevitable ball of waste, and said:
"What kind of mill havo you got?"
"Weel," he said for most marine
engineers are Clydesdale men "there's
may be waur jobs afloat, but I havena
seen yin. Man, do ye no hear her clack
clackin and wheezo-wheezin? There's a
third o' tho tubes in the port boiler
plugged and a leakin, forby tho firemen
canna keep steam wi' they dirt o' coals '
Now, a Clydesdale man is rarely sat-
I isfied with his engine and would burn
I mVIrl if lift priTilrl np.t if. Rn T rlirl nnfc
tw" - o-
think too much of this outburst, but
had only to understand that the engine
was not what he would have called an
"Al mill."
Soon afterward tho already strong
breeze hegan to freshen up, and when
the sun sank, a glowing orb of copper
beneath a ragged edged hank of dark
clouds, leaving a hrassy yellow glare
glowing across threatening sky and an
gry water, it was evident wo were in
for bad weather.
. The seas were rapidly growing steeper
and breaking more sharply, while tho
heavy steamer flung herself ahout as if
she would shake tho masts out of her,
with water and spray already flying in
all directions.
For some hours I hung ahout under
the leo of the "dodgers," or canvas
screens, chatting with the mate and try
ing to evade the stinging spindrift
which lashed our faces like a whip from
time to time. At last, as the poop dis
appeared to the top of tho haud wheel
in a rush of water, the mate, shaking
tho water from his sou'wester, said:
"If she jumps any more, the chief
will be slowing her down. He's an aw
ful old heathen over that broken down
engine or nis, and tne second says ne
sits and talks to it in bad weather. Any
way, tho sooner we get this hooker
homo tho hetter."
Sleep that night was difficult, for cv
ery now and then, as the steamer lifted
her stem clear of the sea, the whole poop
shook to tho heavy vibration of the
whirring propeller, nntil, knowing what
ship it was and had rivets are, I sincere
ly wished niyself out of it
In the mornincr I found the water
pouring in over either rail, while al
around was a wild, drifting, crested sea.
Some of the cargo had shifted, and the
ship lay down to it and wallowed, as
only a tramp can, shoving her bows up
to foremast into the big ridges that roll
cd upon her. The chief said:
"Man, the auld mill's turning hal
speed, but we'r haun back sterrun first
tae Las Palmas."
Then misiortunes began to arise.
Something got adrift on tho forecastle
head and clanged about It may have
been an unshackled chain or anchor
lashing. Threo men, watching their
time and clinging to tho rail when
heavy sea came on board, crawled for
ward. I was watching them from the
bridge, and I saw an unusually largo
wave rising ahead a wall of glittering
green water, curling over into foam at
the summit. The captain waved his
hand to the men nud they grasped the
rails. Next moment the bows disap
peared 'deep in the sea, and when tho
steamer slowly lifted a streaming fore
castle out ot tne ocean only one re
mained, clinging, half drowned, to tho
rails, while as tho vessel rolled heavily
down and the sea poured out 1 saw his
companion clutch at the bulwarks, miss
them and disappear beyond all hope o:
rescue in a smother of foam.
The other poor fellow lay washing
ahout the deck beneath with broken ribs,
and as three or four seamen crept for
ward to go to his aid Alack camo up
with a long face to say that more of the
tubes in the port boiler had burst and
that the water was pouring out under
the grates from a leak in tho back end,
He said:
"I hao scaulded baith hands an feet
trying tae pit in the patent stoppers,
but there's that much steam an hot wa
ter flyin round it canna be done. "
There was a brief consultation, and
it was decided to draw tne nres in one
boiler while tho firemen did their best
to raise enough steam from the remain
ing one to keep the ship head to sea.
"Mind, Mack, if she falls off in this
sea it's all up. Be quick, " said tho cap
tain, to which the chief answered brief
ly: "I hae been in a hot furnace afore,
an I can gang again. There'll be no
time lost" Sp the rest of the day aud
All night we lay to, every man at his
post, while with ventilators torn up;
hatch covers ripped off and water gur
gliug about deep in tho holds tho Co
rona swung to the heavy Atlantic sea in
imminent peril
Next morning a steady clang and
clatter floated up through tho stokehold
gratings, and a fireman, wiping the
sweat from his sooty face, came up to
say that tho chief wanted me below to
Eee how repairs were done at sea. The
chief engineer, looking gaunter and
grimmer than ever, was swathing him
self in sacks opposite tho front of the
port boiler, which, although the fires
bad been drawn, was still almost at
blue heat. His third was trying to per
suade him not to enter tho flue himself,
but the chief shook him off.
An acrid smell of charring wood float
ed out of tho three feet flues, and then,
while wo held our breath, the chief
ilowly crawled down the hot furnace
end disappeared into the dark boiler,
while a fireman followed him along the
wing flue.
For some minutes there was a clatter
ing of hammers, and then a nerve try
ing silence. We listened with hearts in
bur mouths, but only heard the ham
mering of the runaway engines and the
vibrating of the plates as a heavy sea
struck the ship. Then a smothered cry
came from tho flue, "For God's sake
get me out !" and, leaning forward, two
firemen dragged the engineer forth,
blackened and burned, after which he
promptly collapsed into a dead faint,
while a fireman went into tho other flue
at the risk cf his life, and, making fast
a rope, his comrade was hauled oat.
Presently the chief gasped and sat np,
holding out a hand on which the flesh
was peeling from the bones in rags. "I
can do naemair," he said. "It's a boil
ermakcr's job. An we canna drive the
ither boiler at that rate any longer. It's
no safe the noo. She'll fall off in tho
trough of" the sea when the engine slows
an roll over. Lord have mercy on ns!"
Jnst then a dilapidated greaser camo
in from the engine room, and I recog
nized the man who was working his
passage. "You should have sent fcr me
before, " he said. "Give me the tools."
"What dae ye ken aboot calking?"
asked the chief roughly.
"I was the best boilermaker in Har
tlepool before I took to driuk," was the
quiet reply.
"Give him tho tools. It's neck or
nothing the noo," said the chief.
The stranger carefully wrapped his
hands in tho sacks and then, with a
hammer slung round his neck, crawled
into the black mouth of tho flue, push
ing a flat engine lamp before him.
The red glare of the boiler lamps fell
on anxious faces, dripping with sweat
and smeared with soot, all turned to
ward the yawning mouth of tho flue,
and as I watched I could plainly feel a
tiny artery pulsing as if it would burst
beneath my ear. Then the tap of tho
hammer ceased, there was a clatter, as
of something dropping in the combus
tion chamber and with a low hiss, as
of water on hot metal, the dim light
went out
"He's dropped his lamp. Get in,
some of you, and bring him out," said
the third engineer. And while four fire
men struggled to bo first to undertake
the dangerous work the chief staggered
across tho stokehole, and, turning a
wheel, the sharp clang of the brass rams
pumping up the half empty boiler rang
out across tho silence.
Tho seconds dragged slowly past in
anxious suspense, while only a rustling
wood and smoldering cloth drifted out
of the black furnace. Then there was a
shuffling alnug tho plank, and tho fire
man fell out a limp heap amid the coal
below.
"I'm done; take holdl" ho gasped.
And his comrades seized a shriveled,
blackened hand that lay upon the deal
plank, ringed round with a smoldering
sleeve. A moment later they hauled out
a ghastly object with charred clothing,
singed hair and blackened face and laid
it, with the features distorted in a sight
less spasm of pain, carefully upon tho
floorplates.
"Poor fellow! I'm afraid he's gone.
Get those fires started," said the third
engineer, kneeling down and lifting the
unconscious form in his arms.
Presently the relighted fires roared
and crackled, and while tho half hours
crept slowly by and the finger of tho
steam gauge steadily mounted the scale
the thiid engineer, surrounded by such
firemen whose dnties were over, knelt
on tho coal, bathing tho blistered
face and hands with the healing oil and
trying to force a few drops of spirits be
tween the clenched teeth. At last, just
before the chauge of the morning watch,
the burned and blackened lids fell back
and the eyes opened.
A faint smile crept over tho scorch
ed face, softening away tho stamp of
pain, aud the voice of tho dying man
sounded hollow and strange as he spoko
in low gasps. ' 'I've earned my passago
anyway the leak's stopped. Mine's
been a hard hard life it's finished
now goodby." Then the weary eyes
closed forever on this world.
There is little more to be told. With
steam from both boilers the Corona was
able to keep head to sea until the galo
broke and a faint, watery sunlight
streamed down between lines of whirl
ing clouds and shone across the foaming
ridges below.
At eight bells the engines stopped for
a few minutes, and as the solemn
words, "We therefore commit his body
to the deep, in sure and certain hope of
the resurrection to eternal life, "sound
ed clearly above tho gurgle and swish cf
the water along the plates of the plung
ing ship, the stern grating was tipped
np, and there was a heavy splash in the
sea.
Then a silence fell over tho barehead
ed crew, and they turned softly away,
a hazy idea in each man's heart for
Jack is not much given to sentiment
and can rarely express himself clearly
that whatever the boilermaker's past
lifo may have been ho had at least mado
a good end, and possibly also a vague
pride in mother proof although he
has proved it over and over again th
even the "drunken sailormau" can oc
casionally dio in a manner of which his
countnmien have no cause to be
ashamed.
Though ho could never put it iuto
words, poor Jack has got the feeling in
him which a poet has expressed:
But onco in a while we can finish in stylo
For tho ends of the earth to view.
Temple Bar.
Gave Her a Good Chance.
Sue Tne thing that surprises mo is
that I didn't discover how hopeless s
fool yon were before we were married,
He Well, you have only yourself to
jblaino for it I asked yon in plain Eug
lish to be my wife. Cleveland Leader.
A Desperate Deed.
"Why on earth should so bright and
coming a girl as JVlame nave married
that long haired poet?"
"It was tho only way she could, stop
film Hum iuuuiiIq (lis ycMia u :
Indianapolis Journal.
Pneumatic boxing gloves are an in
provement over the old style, ns they
can be made hard or soft by forcing air
iuto their backs through a valve in tho
wrist
Uo Does Uonscworlc,
The vexing servant problem is being
solved m more than one household in
Loudon in a most unique way. A cer
tain manufacturer, who advertised for
a clerk, was flooded by hundreds of ap
plications, while at the same time his
wife, advertising for a "general ser
vant," had not one likely applicant In
a joking way the man suggested to one
of his applicants (who was a young
married man with two children) that
he try his hand at housework. The of
er was accepted on the spot, and the
young man has turned out to be such a
success that several other householders
havo adopted the same plan.
L,oyal.
Brown Jones doesn't forget his alma
mater.
Robinson Ho doesn't, eh?
Brown No, indeed. He's .trying to
teach his baby tho collcgo yell. Scot
tish Nights.
"Crape dcesu't always indicate sor
row, trutntuiiy says tne rnuaoeipnia
Times.
Never mind whom you praise, but be
very careful whom you blame. Gosse.
m
Electric Bitters.
Electric Bitters is a medicine suited
or any season but perhaps more general-
needed when the languid, exhausted
eelmg prevails, when the liver is tornid
and pjpggish and the need of a tonic and
alterative js feJt. A pronjnt use of this
medicine has often averted long and per
bapH fatal biljons fevers No medicine
will not more surely in counteractmr
and freeing the system from the malarial
poison, hoadache, indigestion, consti
pation, dizziness yield to Electric Bitters.
50 cents and SL00 per bottlo at Streitz's
Drug Store. 1
HER REFORMED DIET.
airs. Xewllght Makes a Series of Astound
Ing: Discoveries.
"It's just awful how criminally ig
norant I've been regarding our food,"
said Mrs. Newhght to her husband the
other day. "I can never be thankful
enough that I joined Professor Scarem's
class in domestic science. My ! It's a
wonder we'ro uog all dead, ignorant as
I've been. There's ono thing sure,
Georgo Newlight iherc'U be no more
tomatoes on my table."
"Why?"
"Because Professor Scarem explained
to us today how tomatoes cause a mark
ed arrest of vital activity in those who
eat them, and he proved that the acid
of tomatoes acts almost liko a poison on
the membrane of tho stomach. Then
I'm dono with any berries that have
seeds in on my table. ' '
"I'd like to know why?"
"You wouldn't ask if you'dheardthe
i n ! i- -i- i
I pryie&jjui: a mix. uu ppenaiciiis ana lis
cause. A single disn of raspberries or
strawberries may bring on that awful
trouble. It's fearful to think of the risks
people will run just to gratify the palate.
Ana nero we've always allowed our
children to havo sugar and cream on
their tfatmeall"
"What of it?"
"Well, you'd say 'What of it?' if you
could hear tho professor explain how tho
combination of oatmeal aud cream aud
sugar causes dreadful gases to arise in
the stomach and utterly retards diges
tion. I've not tho slightest doubt that
the awful spasm onr little Mamie had
last year was due entirely to this cause.
Then there's bananas. Why, Georgo
Newlight, they're simply rank poison 1
And you'll get no more white bread at
my table."
"Why not?"
"Because there's no more nutrition in
it than there would be in bread made
out of pure starch. Every bit of the nu
tritive element has been refined out of
it It makes thoso who eat it thin blood
ed." "Do I look thin blooded or as if I
lacked nutrition?" asked Newlight, who
weighs 199.
"That doesn't signify. You don't
know what day you'll begin to break
down under such bread. We'll havo
nothing but graham or whole wheat
flour hereafter. And I've done with
coffee too. If you could see and hear
Professor Scarem demonstrate just how
poisonous it is to tho whole human sys
tem you'd shun it as you shun opium.
He says that cocoa shells is tho only
real safe warm drink."
"I'd as soon drink dishwater," said
Newlight
" You'd better drink dishwater than
your poisonous coffee. If you'd only
take a little time to study domestic sci
ence and lcok into this food business a
little, it would be a good thiug for your
health and tho health of your family.
There's a lot more things wo'vo been
jeopardizing our lives by eating in our
criminal ignorance, and I'm going to
cut all of them off our list "
And she did, which is the reason that
Newlight i3 taking- most cf his meals
down town at present Detroit Free
Press.
Why an Enterprising Man Has No Chance
to Become a Millionaire.
Blummer is cue cf our citizens who
live well aud do nothing. Ho toils
not, neither does ho spin, and yet he
and his family live in comfort, that is
not many removes xrom luxury. This
has subjected Blummer to adverse crit
icism, which fairly lacerates his sensi
tive feelings, and he; unbosomed himself
to a few friends the Dthcr evening while
they were enjoying the good things ho
keeps on tap.
' 'There's not a lazy bono in my tcdy, '
ho began aggressively. "I'd rather work
than eat, and I've always thought tha
I had a great business head on mo. Bu
the record's against me. My father so.
me up in a mercantile business, and
when I had a balance struck at the end
of a year there was not enough left to
make a decent assignment On his
death I came into a handsome fortuue,
and I just thought I'd show my rela
tives how I had been misjudged by in
vesting secretly in a great southern
land scheme. I went down gleefully to
look over my new pnrchasc and gloat
over my prospects. Most of my real es
tato was at tne coticni oi a lake, and
what was on dry laud wouldn't raise a
hill of corn to the acre.
"My brother got me a nice position ns
traveling salesman, and I had sold
whole carloads of goods at half price be
fore tho house could head mo off. They
told mo that I must sell to hold my
place, and that was what I was doing,
but they discharged mo so hard that I
never got rightly over it Mother boughf
me a farm, and again I started tp aston?
ish my folks by my business shrewd
ness. I traded the farm fpr the state
right to a patent fence. AU J got put of
that was n judgment pgainst me in an
infringement cage. Mother left mo
what I have nofr, with a proviso that I
should forfeit everything if I trjed to
do business of any kind. That's why J
have no chance to make myself u mil
lionaire. " Detroit Free Press.
A Variation.
Having recently recovered from an
attack of typhoid fever, which caused
the loss of her hair, a young woman of
this city is obliged to wear a wig. In a
moment of frojic she took it off and
hung it on the chandelier.
"Take it off the gas jet, quick!" ex
claimed her husband.
"Why?"
"It may mako you light headed. "
Sho gazed at him in deep admiration
and said:
"That's just splendid! You aro ever
and ever so clever! I'm going to re
member that and tell it to mother when
she comes."
When the visit occurred, she waited
until there was" a lull in tho conversa
tion, and with great deliberation hung
the wig on tho chandelier as before.
Then she coughed until she had attract
ed her mother's attention.
"What made you - do that?" was the
natural inquiry.
"Oh!" exclaimed the daughter.
'How very reckless of me. I shouldn't
think of doing such a thing."
"Why not?" inquired her husband,
coming to her rescue.
"Because-er-a that is to say, for
tho reasou that it may make me dizzy."
She never mado reference to the calm
fortitude with which her mother met
the sally, but she did have something
yery caustic to say abput tho egotisjn of
a man who lqughs immoderately pver
bis own attempts at humor, Washing
ton Star.
WHAT TO EAT.
Jome Sensible Snccestlons That Should
Be Posted In Every Household.
Aralstonite, writing in that excel
lent gastronomic journal, What to Eat,
taxes a few sensible suggestions in re
gard to the diet that ought to bo posted
in every household. He say3 that tho
t Til-- i. i j. i;
thoso who do not eat mBatMoremP.Vm!Jtl
age of 15
Potatoes, sliced thin and fried, are in
digestible. While tasting delicious, they
afford no real nourishment and cause a
derangement of the liver.
Cake clogs tho stomach. All rich
pastry is poison to the liver. Soft cara
mels and creams aro alsc- bad for any
ono with a liver at all rebellious.
When you get old, lcok cut for yonr
food. Do you every notice that grand
father s face is not as jolly as it used
to be? His strength cf mind also seems
slowly disappearing, though ho is get
ting fleshier every day. He needs a
change cf food. Probably he has been
eating buckwheat cakes and sirup, white
bread and butter, sugar, fat meats, etc
Give him lean meat and fish, cracked
wheat and potatoes, barley cakes, rye
bread or southern corn cakes. Try it,
and instead of moping and sitting round
tho house all day you will find him run
ning around lively as a cricket
Maybe, on the contrary, he is growing
thin and pale. Then he needs buck
wheat and molasses, fat meats, mashed
potatoes in milk, northern corn, cracked
wheat and fish, oatmeal porridge and
fruits every morning.
All rales have their exceptions, and
tho diet described for tho mass may not
answer for exceptional cases, but the
following directions aro good for the
majority:
Milk is the simplest and most natural
food. If you cannot drink it, your stom
ach is in a diseased condition. Cheese is
a good substitute, if mild, fresh and
made from pure milk and cream. Per
sons who live mostly cn vegetables have
the best nerves and tho best complex
ions. Bed pepper is an excellent condi
ment Its effect upon the liver is re
markable. Malaria, intermittent fever
or congestive chills cannot enduic the
presence of red pepper. Pure red pepper
(known as cayer.e) should be on every
table.
Ill health is caused largely by im
proper food cr by focd which is in a bad
condition when it is eaten.
A 10 CENT QUEEN.
One Who Is Shipped All Over the World
In a Box.
Tmagino a queen traveling around the
world on 10 cents! It seems preposter
ous, and yet it is a fact. There is a cer
tain man, according to the St Louis Re
public, who will do this for any one
who will send him an order, whether it
comes from England, China or any oth
er foreign country, and he says:
"I havo frequent demands from all
parts of the world. You see, I send
theso queens as follows: Yen will notice
that there aro two little circular apart
ments in this royal carriage, " and ho
produced a little wooden box, "ono in
which the queen is kept and the other
for her suit. The little plug in the cen
ter of the box is solidified, candied
honey, which will furnish food to the
regal party until they arrive at their
destination.
"The compartments aro covered with
a fine wire gauze to prevent tho escape
of the insects.
' 'This large one in the first compart
ment, the ono with the delicately shaped,
long body and beautiful markings, is an
Italian queen bee, and sho is valued at
10. I have queens valued all tho way
from 2 to $25.
"'liie others, in the second compart
ment, are tho suit or worker bees, that
will accompany her on the trip, not only
for company, but also for tho heat they
will produce to keep her comfortable on
the stormy voyage over the great, cold
seas.
' 'After wc havo tho bees safely stow
ed away in their proper compartments,
wo switch the littlo lid around and
fasten it with a tiny screw at the cuds,
and on its top surfaco tho address of the
consignee is written, the stamp is affix
ed, and away goes her majesty, a queen
sold into slavery for the trifling sum of
$10 and scut to her destination on a 10
cent stamp.
"Bee culture has grown so rapidly in
the United States that there aro few
farmers now who have not a substantial
apiary and who do net net a handsome
income each year frcm the honey tho
bees yield, and besides the farmers there
are thousands of gentlemen and ladies
who are apiarists purely frcm the fas
cination the hobby affords. "
j. Peculiar Accident.
That pne cannot be tco careful in
handling anything belonging to elec
trical plapts is demonstrated by the
fire that consumed one of the power
houses of the Union Tractiop company
in Philadelphia. At the hour of closing
an employee swung an enoronms crane
to which was attached a very heavy
chain. The chain struck a generator
and shivered it to fragments. A terrific
explosion followed every circuit, and
all the dynamos which were running
were blown out. Fire immediately fol
lowed the explosion, pud tho dynamos,
of which there were eight, were cither
destroyed cr disabled, aud the entire in
side of the building was cleared out.
The loss was something like $500,000,
largely ou tue valuable machinery in
the building. New York Ledger.
Doing: Well.
"How long have you been patroniz
ing that new laundry, Molcy?"
"Can't be over a mcnth. I've enly
had to buy thrre new outfits of linen."
Detroit Free Press.
I have always thought that what was
good was only what was beautiful put
in action. Rousseau.
Every man is a king in his own back
yard. Ram's Horn.
MECCA CATAKKH REMEDY.
For colds in the head and treatment
of catarrhal troubles this preparation
has afforded prompt relief; with its con
tinued use the most stubborn cases of
catarrh have yielded to its healing
power. It is made from concenstratcd
Mecca Compound and possesses all of its
soothing and healing properties and by
absorbtion reaches all the inflamed
parts effected by that disease. Price 50
cts. Prepared by Tho Forter Mfcr. Co.
Council Bluffs, Iowa. For salo by A. F.
Streitz.
The White Box.
Tho tailor's wife took her little boy
out for a walk the day after they moved
next door to the undertaker's. The lit
tle fellow stopped just outside the wide
windows and' pointed his chubby fore
finger at the white coffin within.
"What's that, mother?" be asked.
Ho had never ssen a coffin.
"That's what they put little boys in
ex. "Tnat s tno way tuu iju-ia-j.
The bonny, boisterous lad was a great
trial to her sometimes when she wa3
weary with household cares, and she
resorted to almost any tale to keep him
quiet
Every day after that the brov.n eyed
boy stood for many minutes and looked
at tho tiny coffins behind the heavy
glass. He grew very obedient, too, but
the mother had become so accustomed
to fault finding that she never noticed
how well he minded, but continued tc
scold, just the same. With every reproof
his beautiful, brown eyes would grow
dark with a mist of tears, and he would
ask half tearfully:
"Will you put mo in the white box
for that, mother? Will God punish me
now?"
Months passed. One day the restless
feet went astray again, and the mother,
in the moment of her extreme vexation,
punished him more severely than usual.
"Don'c put me in the white box,
mother," he pleaded over and over
again between his sobs.
So saying, he fell asleep. When he
awoke, tho fever was on him, and tho
pattering feet wandered away no more.
Another week passed. Then tho brown
eyes looked up into hers, the pale lips
quivered, and he said feebly:
Have you got thq white box, moth
er? Has God punished me yet?"
Two days later the carriages came
and boro him away in state. God 'a
punishment had come. Chicago Trib
une. Roman Epicures.
When at its zenitht tho Roman- em
pire laid an the barnario countries cr
the world under contribution to supply
the tables of its nobles and wealthy
citizens with tho fine luxuries of life.
Asia and Africa poured in tho rich
spices and fruits of tho tropics; Ger
many and the great north countries
raised the grains and wild berries ; Ita
ly and the fertile land of the Franks
cultivated the vineyards to make or ex
press the wines ; every strip of seacoast
from the Mediterranean to tho Baltic
contributed its quota of fish, and the for
ests of Brittany yielded the wild game of
tho woods birds, beasts and fowls for
the banquets of the proud, dissolute
rulers of the vast empire. With the
choice products of a great world so easi
ly obtained thore were wanton waste,
foolish extravagance and a strange dis
regard of tho value cf expensive luxu
ries, and the historian dwelling upon
theso times delights in recapitulating
the various articles of diet arranged in
tempting manner upon the groaning ta
bles at tho great feasts and banquets.
But, excepting Nero's dish of peacock
tongues and Cleopatra's cup of wiuo
with the dissolved pearls in it, tho me
nu of our modern banquets would com
pare favorably with those spread in the
times when gluttony, licentiousness
aud greed for luxury were insidiously
sapping the strength of Rome. George
E. Walsh in Lippiucott's.
An ostrich egg with a romantic his
tory is the curiosity owned by Miss
Marie Lopez of 415 South Fortieth
street The egg was presented to Miss
Lopez by Joseph Pulsiver, to whom it
was sent by his brother, who is super
intendent of an ostrich farm in South
Africa. Accompanying tho egg was tho
following letter from tho sender: "I
send the ostrich esc and kuow vour
longing for peculiar curiosities will re
ceive a boom when you learn its his
tory. We had a man on tho farm named
Carr, who was noted for his skill in
breeding and raising ostriches. Ho had
raised tho mother of the egg I send, and
shehad been ono of his greatest pets. This
was thought strange, as she was known
to bo a savage bird and would allow
no one but Carr to go near her. Breed
ing time came, and the ostrich was soon
watching over a setting of eggs. Our
farm hatches artificially, the eggs being
removed from the mother and placed in
an incubator. Carr was tho ono selected
to secure tho eggs, on account of his
great command over tho bird. He enter
ed tho pen and began picking up the
eggs. In an instant the treacherous pet
becamo f miens and srarted to strike
him with her powerful feet We had to
shoot tho mother before wo could got
her away and then found wo wero too
late, Carr's skull having been battered
in. In tho Strucele all tha f??rrs wnrn
broken, with the one exception, which
I send to you. "Philadelphia Record.
The first few minutes of a fire Is the
critical time ; a quarter of a minute is
worth saving. Millions may be lost in
that time. When anyone is sick every
instant is precious, particularly at the be
ginning before disease gets any headway.
When you first begin to feel "below
the mark "; when you are not getting all
the strength you need out of your food,
when you are languid and indisposed, it
is time to try the toning, strengthening
effect of Pr. Pierce's Golden MedicU
Discovery. It "extinguishes" disease
by making rich, healthy blood, full of the
life-giving red corpuscles which drive out
disease and flood the vital organs with
fresh vitality.
Every disease which has its seat in the
blood is cured by this marvelous " Dis
covery" after all other remedies have
failed. Its effects seem little short of
miraculous in curing obstinate, chronic
throat and bronchial difficulties and even
consumption.
" Run-down " people, delicate women,
pale and puny children gain flesh,
strength, color and nerve force by using
tin's marvelous "Discovery." It docs
not make flabby fat like so many " emul
sions," but hard, healthy, muscular tis
sues. At all medicine stores.