Ike Stmt - WeMj vMnt .
IRA L BARE, Editor attd Pbopbdstob
TUESDAY, MARCH 16. 1897.
SUBSCBIPCTON RATES.
One Tear, cash in advance, fL25.
Six Mouths, cash In advance 75 Cent
KnteredflltheJrorthPlaUe(Kebraaka)potofficeaB
s econd-claes matter.
EEPUBLIOAH OITY TICKET-
For Mavor-JOHN E. EVANS.
For Clerk FRED GINN.
ForTreasurer-JOHN SORENSON.
For Police Judge-A. H. DAVIS.
For Engineer E. F. SEEBERGER.
For Councilman, First Ward J, W.
ALEXANDER.
For Councilmen, Second Ward R.
D. THOMSON, FRANK TRACY.
For Councilman, Third Ward H. O.
EVANS.
For Members Board of Education
B. Ij. ROBINSON, L.B. ISENHART,
Mrs. S. E. DOUGLAS.
Upon petition ot G. M. Lamb2rt
sbn'and C. O. Wheldon, Judge Hall
of the Lancaster county district
court 1ssuedlast Friday an order
restraining- the recounting of the
amendment ballots until yesterday
when the injunction could be ar
gued. The petition sets up that
the recount statue, passed by the
present legislature, is unconstitu
tional. The Tribune thanks W. R,
Akers for a copy of the first biennial
report of the State Board of Irriga
tion. The volume is full of valu
able statistics relative to irrigation
in Nebraska, the discharge of
water of the several rivers of the
the state and. other information.
Included in the volume is an article
by E. F. Seeberger, of this city,
upon "Irrigation in Lincoln coun-
r
T3EUEVIN& -that Consul General
Lee at Havana knows more about
affairs in Cuba than anybody in
this country, President McKinley
announces that if Lee calls for a
warship one will be sent there im
mediately. The President does not
desire to force a war with Spain,
but he will protect American citi
zens and American interests when
such are jeopardized, no matter in
what country they may be located.
. T,hose 'interested in the develop
ment of the beet sugar industry
and this should include every Ne
braska farmer will no doubt be
glad to learn that the new secretary
of agriculture is strong in the be
lief that the United States has the
facilities to produce all the sugar
it. consumes. Secretary Wilson
may be expected to foster and help
along the beet sugar industry in
every way possible, and he is in po
sition to do considerable.
The Omaha exposition bill, car
'rying with it an appropriation of
one hundred thousand dollars,
passed the senate Saturday, having
previously passed the house. Tak
ing into consideration the magni
tude of the proposed exposition, the
appropriation is rather small; but
as large as could be expected from
a legislature of the political com
plexion of the present one. What
is worth doing.Js worth doing well,
and to have Nebraska make a
proper showing the appropriation
should have been double the
amount. The state needs some
thing to push it to the front, and
this the Omaha exposition will do.
'WECctn'thave prosperity because
there is no money," remarked a
white metal frantic to the News
man and yet it is seen that we have
been paying $4,000,000 per week to
uermany ana nmgiana tor gooas
made there that ought to have been
made here at home. No, we have
no money for the American working
man, since the Wilson bill went into
effect and the industries of the
country have languished, and every
interest "has suffered from threat
ened bankruptcy. Our condition is
the practical result Qf what Mr.
Bryan called ,4a step in the right
direction" i. e., free trade. If we
suffer from half a dose, the people
should be thankful that the full
measure of the free trade party's
plans were frustrated. Confidence
has been restored and as soon as
another McKinley bill can be en
acted, prosperity will have been re
stored and the people will once more
cease to look at the gaunt wolf of
dispair and financial ruin that has
touched every locality of our fair re
public A better day has dawned
and the dangerous free trade
heresies have been relegated so far
to -.the rear that not again in this
generation will its deceitful head
be raised to check our prosperous
growth Plattsmontn JNews.
A writer in the Lincoln Journal
of Sunday says: .Director Loveland
of the Nebraska, section of the
weather bureau believes that the
time is not far distant when agri
culture will be more uniformily
.successful in Nebraska than in most
of the favored districts of the worjd.
He bases his belief upon the fact
that the irregularities of climate
are a serious handicap to the farm
ers everywhere, 'even where the
land is irrigated. As a rule we have
as much rain here in t the growing
seasons as they have in large areas
in the eastern states and in Europe
A few disastrous, drouths in July
and August'liave. drawn, pur atten
tion -to the neexLpf supplemental
irrigation, and the.tarmers general
ly are loooking-forwardtoward some
means of putting on enough water
to carry the crops through the cru
cial period, windmill irrigation
promises to do this, .and there is i
dolibfc about the errowinir use of th
cheap and simple method of raising
water all over the state. Jt tni
work sroes on as it has been com
menced. in ten years such a thing
as general failure of crops will b
unknown in Nebraska. The eas
will olod alonsr in the old fashioned
wav. wondering" what in the dickens
it is that makes the farmers of the
west so fat and prosperous.
NEW SOCIAL LEADERS.
The 'Quadrennial Change In Of
ficial Life at Washington.
LADIES OP THE OABDTET CIE0LE
An Intcrestlcg Body of Accomplished
Women Their Important Social Func
tionsSirs. Sherman's Xonff Experience
In public Life Other Cabinet Xadies.
It may interest the average citizen to
learn that the cabinet circle ladies of the
new administration are nearly all worn
eu to whom polite society and its duties
and conventions are perfectly familiar.
It does not always happen so. Occasion
ally the wife Of a member of the cabinet
is a lady who scorns society functions
of all sorts and ignores her social duties
deliberately or else neglects them
through lack of previous training. This
deeply offends and greatly disturbs the
individuals who compose the social
world of our national capital.
"Washington society is peculiarly or
ganized. It is composed of a number of
distinct circles, one outside the other
and touching each other only at the
edges. None of them overlaps. In the
very center of all this is the cabinet
circle, which, although the smallest in
numbers, is the first in importance.
About the cabinet circlo all the other
circles revolve. Next comes the su
preme court circle, composed ot the
wives of the justices, and after that the
senatorial circle, the house circle, and
then the various department circles. On
the outer edge is the big, all embracing
MRS. SHERMAN.
circle composed of the clerks in the va
rious departments. It is all hollow
enough, but tho ceremonies which the
smallest and most exclusive circle ob
serves are the veriest mockery
Each cabinet lady is expected to have
a receiving day. This means that once
a week sho throws open her house to the
public at large and all who care to con
sider themselves in society. She does
not do this to giye her friends a chance
to drop in and have a little chat. Not
at all. For two or three hours she stands
up and shakes hands with a throng of
strangers who crowd her parlors, scram
ble for refreshments, criticise the ap
pointments of the house, the hostess,
her dress and exchange bits of malicious
gossip about her best frieuds, perhaps
at her very elbow.
It is needless to say that a cabinet
lady does not anticipate these reception
days with any degree of pleasure. When
it is all over, she is as tired as if she had
been doing a hard day's work, and she
is probably on the verge of nervous pros
tration. A collection of forgotten um
brellas, a stray wrap or two, a few
pieces of broken bric-a-brac, a lot of
miscellaneous rubbish, and a bushel or
so of calling cards remind her of the
crowd that has passed through her
doors, and sho sighs as she thinks that
next week it has to be done all over
again.
The little dinners which she is ex
pected to givo several times during the
season are a shade moro agreeable. The
company is small, but even here she
cannot confine her invitations to people
whom she knows to be congenial. There
are certain persons who must beinyited,
whether she likes or not, and she must
do her best to seem pleased to see them.
Such is Washington society, which you
hear people tell about "enjoying."
But to an ambitious woman there is
a certain charm and fascination about
the rushing crowds and the social in
trigucs which are being planned all
around her. The knowledge that she
can niako or mar these plans is perhaps
a pledsing one.
Foremost among the cabinet ladies of
today is Mrs. Sherman, who, as th
MRS. ALGER.
.wife of the secretary of state, is the ac
knowledged leader of tho social whirl
that centers about tho White House, for
the wife of the president is expected to
ti'co rather a passive than an active part
In it Probably np woman inthe coun
try knows Washington society so .thor
oughly as Mrs. Sherman. For raoie
than 40' years she has; spent the best
part of every year within sight of the
great white dome, and in all that time
the has never once slighted her social
obligations. As, a senator's wife she has
left her cards regularly at the residences
of every oae on her big visiting list, and
her Thursdays have become an institu
tion. When the Shermans first went ;to
Washington, they occupied a modest; lit-
- mrs. i.o::o.
tie brick house on K street, arid it was
not until the present secretary of state
was 70 years old that he began to build
the handsome marble mansion, only a
few doors from the old house, which he
now occupies. Mrs. Sherman is an ad
mirable type of the Americau woman.
Her smcoth brown liair is streaked with
gray, but she is still vigorous. She is
tall aud stately, and her manner is a
pleasing combination of dignified reserve
and cordial affability. She has never
plotted to obtain social supremacy, but
now that it has come to her she may
confidently be expected to assume tho
leadership with as much graciousncss as
if she thought she was going to enjoy
it. Mrs. Sherman has no children of
her own, but an adopted daughter, as
dear to her as if she were an own child,
is happily married aud lives in Vash
ington. Two brilliant women, both rel
atives, will also share her social prestige
and add to the attractiveness cf her
drawing rooms. Theso are Mrs. Cam
eron, the young wife cf the ex-senator
from Pennsylvania, aud Mi's. Miles,
wife of tho commander in chief of the
army.
One of the most attractive among tho
cabinet ladies is Mrs. Alger, wife of the
secretary of war. She is an experienced
hostess, for during her husband's two
terms as governor of Michigan she en
tertained Lansing Eociety in handsome
styla With largo means at her com
mand, she has been a leader of society
in Detroit, aud both sho and her hns-
baud are fond of this sort of thing. Her
part of the Eocial duties which devolve
upon tho wives of the cabinet officers
will be discharged with enthusiasm.
MRS. GARY.
She has two married daughters, and
her young unmarried daughter Frances
is a brilliant and accomplished young
woman, who will fully appreciate the
advantages which her standing in Wash
ington society will give her.
Mrs. Long, the wife of the secretary
of the navy, is by no means a stranger
to Washington society, though when she
first came to the capital as a bride her
husband was only a popular member of
the house. Her social duties as wife of
a cabinet member she will probably find
somewhat more arduous. Mrs. Long is
a clever and resourceful woman, and as
mistress of the executive mansion of
Massachusetts gained no little experi-.
ence.
Mrs. Gary, thewifcof the postmaster
general, is a woman of many personal
attractions. Coming from Baltimore,
where she moved in most exclusive cir
cles, she has been brought up in a social-world
in which the conventions are
strictly observed. For years she has been
one of the most prominent hostesses of
Maryland and has presided over a pre
tentious town nouse as well as
a Spa- i
cious country residence. She
unngs
.-
flrith her to the capital her daughters;
clever and beautiful young women who
have been prominent in Baltimore soci
ety and are pleased at an opportunity
to Ehine in that of Washington.
Of the other cabinet ladies Mrs. Ly
man J. Gago may be mentioned as a
woman to whom social leadership will
be no novelty. Mrs. Cornelius N. Bliss
will be one of tho most conspicuous la
dies in the cabinet circlo and will prob
ably entertain extensively. One or two
of the others may prefer to remain in
the background, but Washington society
will find that the cabinet ladies as a
whole are exceedingly well fitted for
the parts they must take.
Annette Crawford.
Sawed Off.
Fair Young Calerr I am Miss Piuka-
more
Smiling Young Man (rising) Glad
to meet you, Miss Pinkamore! I am Mr.
Thomp
Fair Young Caller- I was about to
say inat 1 am Miss Pinkamorp, and
when papa comes to the office will you
please tell him I shall not want the car
riage this afternoon?
(Goes out, leaving smiling young man
in a state of collapse.) Chicago Trib
une,
teCOLOST OP-EXILES.
A HOME: IN 'GEORGIA FOFV OPPRESSED
ARMENIANS. - k
The- Philanthropic Project of Silas M.
Moore of Chicago, la Which Booth
Tucker Is Also Interested A ConimH-
Hity of Small Farmers.
A colony of exiled Armenians' has
been founded in Georgia, and 80 indi
viduals of this persecuted race were re
cently installed on a " tract- of 300 acres
of . land located on fhaliheof the South
ern railroad near, Eastman. It is wholly
through the liberality of Mr. Silas M.
Moore of Chicago that this asylum for; a
hand of most unfortunate people has
been opened up. There is'room for many
more expatriated Armenians' in Georgia,
and it is expected that this colony will
be only a nucleus for a much larger-one,
as it is intended to rescue from the
clutches of the bloodthirsty sultan as
many Armenians as possible.
Mr. Moore is greatly interested in tho
work of helping this suffering people.
His daughter is tho wife of Bey. S. G.
Gates, a missionary stationed at Khar-
put, Turkey. Mr. Moore is president of
the Armenian. Belief association, but
this enterprise is a distinct and separate
one in which he has the associated aid
of a number of prominent workers In
tho field of religious philanthropy,
among them, being Uommanuer iiootii
Tucker of the Salvation Army.
Tho land when tho colony occupies
vas formerly a lumbering district,
heavily wooded with pine, but the trees"
have all been cut down. The houses oc
cupied by tho lumber company, some 80
in number, are still standing and will
be utilized by the. refugees. A few
months ngo Mr. Moore secured the land
at a very low price, and his proposition
to use it for tho purpose of founding an
Armenian colony was greeted with en
thusiasm. There were about 20 Ar
menian families in Chicago who had
fled from Turkey, and the relief asso
ciation had been able to find ho place
for them.
Mr. Mcoro's plan is to turn over to
each family a plot of from 5 to 25 acres,
according to their ability to cultivate it.
For the first year the colonists will be
SILAS M. MOORE.
aJlowed to livo. on the land rent free,
and at tho end of that linio they will bo
given an opportunity to purchase their
farms at tho actual cost to Mr. Moore
by paying annual installments. Tho soil
in the region is very fertile, and the
olimate is as near to that of their native
country as could be found. The Ar
menians aro naturally an agricultural.
people, and, although they will have tp
learn new methods, it is expected they
will eventually become fairly prosperous
farmers, for they are a frugal, industri
ous people of simple tastes. They are
imitative, too, and will be quick to
adopt tho methods of American farmers.
They make good citizens, for they are of
peaceable disposition and temperate
habits.
The business manager cf the colony,
Bev. Garabed M. Manaviau, is a native
of Armenia, but has been in this coun
try ior six years. He is just the man for
tho position, for ho has the confidence
of tho colouista to begin with and knows
their needs and capabilities better than
one of a strange race. Ho is a young
man and before coming to tho United
States received a good education at Eu
phrates college in Kharput, afterward
acting as teacher in Smyrna and in
structor in tho college at which he was
graduated.
Upon reaching America he went to
Chicago and entered the Chicago Theo
logical semiuaiy, where he prepared for
the ministry. For four years ho was
paster of the Armenian settlement at
Wankegan, and at tho same time he
continued his theological studies at the
Lake Forest university. TwOyears ago
he received a call from the First Con
gregational church of Kharput, but he
declined to return to a place where he
would be under Turkish rule. Tho Bev.
Mr. Manaviau visited tho site of the col
ony not long ago to make arrangements
for the reception of the settlers and then
returned to Chicago to act as guide in
leadiug the exiles to their new home.
"Tho colonization company is still in
tho process of formation," said Mr.
moore recently. several other men
have interested themselves in it, and we
need all the help we can get. My daugh
ter, Mrs. Gates, is at home assisting in
fho work, hnt wVipii thn rnlrmc in nnna
- j
fairly started she will return to her sta
tion in Kharput. We expect to send
many more families down there if the
project turns out successfully, and I do
pot seo why it should not.' Tho location
is well suited to them, and I do not
doubjr that they will find farming in
.that region profitable. If they do not,
and, after living, on the ground for a
year, decide that they do not wwh to
remain, I shall be pleased to keep the
land."
There is little chance, however, of the
Armenians being dissatisfied, for at the
present;timo they, are homeless wander
ers, who, although they have escaped
the sword of tho cruel Kuniraro help
less aud among jitraugcM.
' S. O. Schencjl
MECCA OATAKKH EBMEDY.
forcoKiB.in tho head and treatment
of 'catarrhal (roubles this preparation
' anoroou prompt relief; -with its con
tinued Use the most stubborn oanca of
catarrh havo yielded to its honllntf
power. It is made from conoeiiHtrHtwl
Mecca Compound and hII of U
soothing and healing. propertlM H"l .v
absorbtion. reaches all tll iBllHWwl
rtnrfja afFaMoA l.v fl.uf 1ltULUU4. l'f Pt W
cts. Prepared by Th WrtHW, m
Council Bluffs, Iowh. MrWto W A
isireiiz.
ABE AlfDTHE KTJEKEL
THEYDISCUSSTHE!P0SSIBIL1TIES OF
: "SbME" GREAT IDEAS.
Xost and Wasted JTowcr That Coalil He
Utilized la Street Cars Enough Horse
power la Chilblains and Common Cough
to Tarn the Wheels of Commerce.
:, "Mawnin, Kurnel Dawson; m awn in
to' yO'," saluted" Abe Crdfoot as been
counterea tne gooa nature", planter in
the corridor of tho postoffice the othei
day. " Say, knrneTever noticed anything
shuckless about-me?
' ' Whyt .no," replied the colonel. " Yo
don't appear to git along as right "well
as some, but I take it that earcumstances
hev bin again yo "
."That's ify kurnel; jest sarcum
stances,. and:jl!m. glad yo' kin see it. I
was bo'n too late to ho agiueral and too
early to be president, of the United
Stai ts, but these 'ere Pike county; folks
oan't Overlook it; '
"Shoo, shoo I But yo' ain't gwine to
givo up, Abe?"
"Say, Kurnel Dawson," replied Abe
tin he stepped back to survey the colonel,
"did yo' ever h'ar of the phenix bird?"
"Can't rightly ay I ever did, Abe.
Is it a crow or a buzzard or some such
tiling?""
"The phenix bird, sah the phenix
bird is a bird that rises up from the
.ashes when. ulLhas been destroyed and
begins businessug'in. Yo' may burn all
his tail feathers off, but he rises jess the
same and proceeds to grow new ones.
He's got ambition and pluck, and he'll
git thar in the end. I'm that phenix
bird, kurnel. "
"Shoo r Bisin right up, eh?"
"That's what I'm doiu, sah, and it
won'tbc a month bef o' these Pike county
tfolks will hide their heads fur shame.
I've got mo' ideas, kurnel heaps and
heaps of 'em. All 1 want is a leetle
time to work 'em out. Yo've seen them
'lectric street cars, I reckon?"
"Of co'se."
"What becomes of tho 'lectricity after
it gits through runhin the car?"
"Shool Shoo!" replied the colonel as
ho scratched his head and looked puz
zled. "Wasted, Zumel Dawson, wasted in
the air and the grounds Thar's a waste
of 84 per cent of the power right along
every hour in the day. Why not save it
and utilize it? That's one of my ideas.
That yero wasted power can be made to
pass a hat along and collect fares, to
push a fat man along on the seat and
make room, to open and close umbrellas
if it rams, to chuck a redheaded man off
the car if he won't pay his fare. It can
be made to do mo', kurnal, heaps mo',
but yq' git my idea?"
"I sorter git it, Abe jess 'nuff to see
that it's a big thing, bound to be awin--ner.
Say, Abe, thar ought to be riches
in it."
"Fur shore. Gimme a month to think
it over, and I won't take a millyon dol
lars fur the idea. That ain't all, how
ever. That's only one of 50 big things
I'm workin on. Yo've had chilblains on
your feet, kurnel?"
"Yes, drat 'em!"
"And yo've had to scratch 'em?
Scratohin don't do no good, but that's
alius the idea. In these (Jnited Staits
thar ar' exactly 1,283, 1G8 people who
hev chilblains every winter. Each one
scratches a total of 56 hours. Every
time yo' scratch a chilblain yo'put fo'th
jess half of one hossr nver. Yo' kin call
it 500 hosspower wasted by 1,283,168
people. That's 591,584,000 hosspower
gone to waste wlien it could be made to
distill pud bar'l up all tho whisky man
ufactured iu the United Staits. See tho
pint, kurnel? Iet 'em keep on scratchiu,
though it don't do no good, but store up
the power and sell or rent it. Yo' can
como m on tiie crouud flcor and take
stock-at 50 cents on the dollar, but it'l
go up to 200 befo' a month rolls around
How .docs it strike yo'?"
"Abe, yo ar' a wonderful critter
jess wonderful!" gasped the colonel as
he extended his hand,
Thankee, kurnel! I don't go fur to
make any claims for myself, but I reck
on these yerc Piko county scaudalizers
will .h'ar sunthm drap befo' I am
through. When yo've coughed yo'rhead
was throwed forward and yo'r heels lift
ed up, Kurnel Dawson?"
"Heaps of times, Abe,
"And whenyo' coughed yo' exerted
yo'rself 'bout tho same as when yo'
climbed a fence. Of the 70.000,000 peo
ple m America about one-half have i
cough all the time. It's all wasted exer
tiou. Yo' cough because yo' can't help
it, but yo' don't accomplish anything.
I've figgered that wasted powCr right
down fine, kurnel, and it amounts to
26,000,000 hosspower a y'ar, leaviu
out baby coughs. Seo where I am at?"
Store up the power aud use it, Abe?"
queried tho colonel
Fur shore, but not to turn the wheels
of commerce. Use it to help people up
stairs in their houses, and thus do away
with elovaf ors. Every five people cough-
m oner jnc an oie woman up an or
dinary pair of stairs and hev sunthin
left over. It's got to work with a system
of springs, and it may take me a few
weeks to invent sunthin, but the idea is
thar, kumel the idea is thar!"
She's thar, Abeshe's right thar!"
solemnly added the colonel as he reached
out his hand again.
"Aud look yere, Kurnel Dawson."
continued Abe as he becaino more ex
hilarated, "yo' own mo or les3 mewls,
i tatce it?"
"'Bout20 mewls, Abo."
"And thoy kick mo or less?!-'
"They do, drat 'em! Can't skasslv eo
nign ouo of 'em without ho kicks. ' '
Thar ar' jess exactly fo'teen mill
FPH mcvls in these United Staits, kur
nel, not countin any bo'n since sunrise
this mawnin. Each one of them mewls
will kick an average of ten times a day,
makine 140.000.000 kicks every 24
hours. Whar does all that power go to,
kurnel?"
"Wasted, I reckon."
"That's risrht wasted on the air,
whfin it nnnld bo stowed up and inatip
use of. Hero's tho Aggers, Kurnei : laea
1 . mi
Tvasted kicks would ring all tho church
bells in tho land on Sundays. noy
would milk all the cow and feed all
tho hoBH south of tho Ohio river, xney
waiiIiI whisrlo fur all tho duwgs in
America, shear m!1 tho sheep and kill off
all tlH raft. M) W want is to sioro up
the poww ! M ,,r nu.1 y Wwt f
for uw. JXioa tho Idea nu yo ?
'iVfllllPIHlnuR Kll'H, AUC J iruuiuu-
daaMl" twlHlmed tho colonel.
"Tlmt'H what I say, but it'll lieed a
ltltt tlumuht to invent iiio necessary
machinery.
ffi
'Bout what time l.rii, kut-
Lommo sec It's now 'bout 'levn
1
o'clock, Abe."
" 'Bout Uevcn, eh? Yo'ginerallytako
a ;r Uvrvrit filia tion vP -Jor- 4svnt rn''1
-"Jess around this time, -if I aia't
busy."
"And yo' ginerally"
"Of
co'se. Pleased to hev yo' come
Abe. Sense me, but I was so
along,
powerfully interested in them schemes
of yours that I dun forgot. Of co'sti of
co'se! Hev it straight, Abe, or willyo'
take a leetle water in yo'rs to make it
go further?" M. Quad.
BY NO MEANS A BIRD.
A. Fable of a Canary, a Farmer
Foolish Donkey.
aad a
A donkey was one day lingering near
his master's window, bitterly repining.
"I have faithfully served my master, "
said he, "and yet he has not praised me
for what I have done; True, he gives
me plenty to eat and a warm stable to
sleep in, but I
. iinnHn'feel that some-
i 1 1 . . .
tiling more is aue
me. Hesnouldbe
'more apprecia
tive of my society
and abilities."
At tnis mo
ment his atten
tion was attract
ed by the sweet
'COXFOUND A DONKEY,
singing oz a ca
anyhow!"
nary ma cage in
side th 6 window,
and presently, when the song was fin
ished, he saw his master approach tho
cage and reward the bird with a lump
of sugar.
"Ah," said the donkey, full of jeal
ousy, "I see now why my master thinks
so little of me. It is because I do not
wear a pretty yellow coat and sing to
him, like tho canary."
So saying, he ran straightway to his
master's barn, knocked over a bucket of
yellow paint and rolled in it until his
hide "was colored a beautiful brindle;
then, hastening back to the window, he
stuck his head inside and began to bray
in his sweetest tone.
Then his master rose from his chair;
but, instead of calling the donkey pet
names and inviting him to dine on tho
contents of the sugar bowl, he brought
a club and smote him, saying:
"Confound a donkey, anyhow! That
bray was enough to raise the roof, and
just look at tho paint tho ass has wasted
on himself. Wonder what the critter
will be up to next?"
And the very next day the man sold
the donkey to an itinerant merchant
who chanced to bo passing.
Moral. If nature gave you the voice
of an ass, there's no use trying to set
yourself up in business'as a canary bird.
Truth.
Reflections of a Bachelor.
A womau hates to have a tooth filled
most as much us she does to cut a piece
of lace.
The best thing in the world to keep a
man out of business schemes is a wife
and babies.
As soon as a bachelor begins to reflect
out loud all the married people he
knows get down on him.
The average womau would wear a
dress made of orange peel if the dress
maker said it was the fashion.
When a man says ho hasn't made up
his mind about a thing, it is a sign he
has asked his wife about it.
When a man is away on a trip and
does something he ought not to, he sits
down and writes a nice letter to his
wife. Now York Press.
Exhausted Resources.
"What are you bothering your fathei
about?" asked tho boy's mother.
s fI want him to tell mo a story, and
ho pays he doesn't know any. "
"Perhaps he will make up one as he
goes along."
1 'I asked him to. But he said he had
been testifying before an investigating
committee all day and it had used uj
all his material." Washington Star.
Logic.
Thereupon Civilization argued with
Savagery.
"How," it warmly demanded, "ii
you wear absolutely no clothes in the
morning, can you wear less 'at evening
functions?"
Thus it is that inexorable logic beats
down, one by one, the redoubts of su
perstition. Detroit Journal.
A Great Need,
A great inward sob shook the stalwart
form of the young lover as he bowed his
head iu submission.
"You refnse me your hand? Then
give mo at least"
He gazed involuntarily in the direc
tion of the sideboard in tho next room.
"three fingers." New York Sun
day Journal.
Willfully Misunderstood.
Miss Parvenue Papa couldn't go
with me to the matinee, he's so busy
cutting "L" road coupons.
Miss Cutting Ah, he's a ticket chop
per, is he? .New York Sunday Journal.
Due to the Oyster.
" She Oh, Jack, hgro's a pearl in this
oyster!
He (excitedlvl Ethel! mar may I
of I ' . -
havo it set in an engagement ring?
Pick Me Up.
Went the Epigastric Way.
She (coming up suddenly) Where did
hat wave co?
He (coughing and strangling) I
swallowed it. Dublin World.
Bis Calling.
"I merely made a mistake in my call-
Ho knew ip now. Tears stood in his
pyes. But JP was tpo. jaro w H f
"No, I shall never call again upon a
fnll honse." ho said. Philadelphia
Bnlletin.
One of the Disadvantage.
iirnntifnl woman in her
V I? w
day."
"Yes, I judged so."
"Oh, but she doesn't show it now.
"Maybo not, but sho hasn't forgotten
it" Detroit News.
A Sound Liver Makes a Well Man.
Aro vou billious, constipated or
mnhlcd with iaundice. sick-headache
bad taste:m mouth, fool breath, coated
ongue. dvspepsia, indigestion, hot dry
skin pain in back and between the
shoulders, chill and fever &c. It you
have and of these srmtoms, your liver is
out- of order and slowly being poisoned,
because your liver does not act promptly
Herbine will cure any disorder of the
lver, stomach or bowels. It has no
qua! as liver medicine. Price 75 cents.
Free trial bottle at North Platte Phar
macy, J. E. Bush, Mgr.
r I IT!
WfcOM Wm It?
A scholar traveling in the east says
that he was once in camp with his
'friendtBamsay, a man of kindred tastes,
in a wretched Phrygian village far from
the track of travelers. As they were
striking tents in the morning a heavy
faced boy brought Mr. Bamsay a hand
ful of bronze for sale. He sorted it rap
idly on the palm of his hand and found
among the rubbish one very rare coin of
Hierapolis. Then -he put it all back
again In the boy's outstTetcaed palm and
offered half a dollar for the lot. The boy
accepted the bid, gave back the handful,
took bis money and disappeared while
the exultant purchaser wenrcbackling
off among, the horses " if
Ten minutes later thej'boy appeared
again, and, going up to the other "Eng
lishman, offered another handful of rub
bish among which was the same rare
Hierapolitan coin. The gentleman kept
the bronze in his hand and offered a
half dollar for it, which the boy refused,
though the bargain was eventually con
cluded for a dollar.
Then the gentleman, in high glee,
hailed his companion and. showing his
purchase, informed him that he.washo&
the only man who possessed a coin of
Hierapolis.
"Let us compare, " said tho other,
emptying the pociet whero his bronze
was jingling.
He sorted the lot and felt in every
pocket. No coin of Hierapolis was there.
To this day three questions remain un
answered: How did the boy retain the coin in
the first instance in order to sell it over
again?
How, in that remote region,, far .from
the haunts of travelers, did he know the
value of his find?
And to which purchaser did the coin.
really belong? Youth's Companion.
His Sweet Voice.
The best of men are at tfmes liable to
make very serious mistakes. A man in
a Leicestershire village woke in the
night and heard what he supposed to be
the harsh grating of a saw on a hard
board and at once jumped to the con
clusion that some bold, bad burglar was
sawing a hole in the front door.
He slipped out of bed, glided like a
specter into the hall and again, listened
and this time became fully satsned tost
hs first suspicions were correct, t ?
Seizing his trusty gunt he poured a
handful of powder and ditto of shojTinto
each barrel, capped it and, softly raising
an up stairs wmaow, Diazea -away in
the darkness, tho shot being followed by
a howl of pain from below.
He then hurriedly drew on a few of
his most necessary garments and went
to investigate the matter, and upon the
first step found the wounded form of a
neighboring youth, who, in feeble tones,
explained that he had come over to sere
nade his sweetheart, the old man's only
daughter, with a song and that when he
was shot he was driving ahead as best
he could on. "Sweet Spirit Hear My
Prayer."
He expressed no surprise at the' old
man's mistake, but thinks that he might
have at least yelled "Who's there?" be
fore he pulled the trigger, but the shoot
er said he was somewhat excited and
just a little scared, so didn't stop, to
think. Pearson's Weekly-
It is well known that the queen has a
dislike to the smell of tobacco, and even
such a constant smoker as the Prince of
Wales is careful to deodorize himself as
much as possible before being, received
by his royal mother. Perhaps ' thelate
John Brown took her majesty's aversion
more coolly than any one else, for his
sporran was always crammed with a
mixture peculiarly black and strpng.
uu pup pccasiou ine late ljuKe o$
Sutherland segt some live deer to Vfindr
sor under the charge of his head keeper.
who, having seen his charges safely
housed, foregathered with Brown, and
smoke and whisky speedily combined in
no small quantities. While the carouse
was progressing John was hastily sum
moned to the queen's presence, and
away fie went without changing his
clothes. His sovereign lady soon detect
ed tho peccant odor and reproached
Brown with it
"Hechi Your majesty," said Brown,
it's nae my fault. It's joosfc 'contact'
with the dnke's keeper." He was for:
given on the spot. London Telegraph.
Swiss experts have come to -the-conr
elusion that more harm is dpne than
prevented by roping climbers- m gla
ciers. Tourists saved from a crevasse
are often fatally injured by the rope
cutting into the body. It is nowpropos
ed to obviate this by means of specially
constructed broad belts.
The first British telegraph patent was
granted in the year that Qneen Victoria
was crowned, 1837.
Tf .v nerve to face an enrasred ball and
flaunt in his face the color that he hates. It
. o fnnlish and reckless thine for any man
to do, but thousands upon thousands of men
and women are daily facing- a peril before
which the bull fighter's danger fades into
insiemificance. The ball fighter is armed.
trained, and fully prepared foe his battle.
The thousands who stand face. to face with
(hat dread and insidious .-cflns.praRtjdri;
are but illy equipped fer Wf -struggle.' Thi
man or woman who waalfl stWflWfwHy wjtiu
utand the inroads of the ddlv germs of
consumption needs to hav arteries bound,
ing with the rich, red, life giving blood
of health. Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical
Discovery is without an. equal as a blood.
maker and flesh - builder. Itf .cleanses and
strenzthens the lungs and cures oS ner cent
of all cases of consawptfes; - j
Miss Lacy Kloei8crr f ArJ, MlcJr.. writes :
When I was abont eight years of age I had ia-
flammation of the lungs, and from that time up I
ly an the time aad had a ilrvtnr-
nearly all the
tlrae. I would take cold so eailv it
would go right to my lungs.
Aiine-ageei nine-
tickling In ray throat and my throat was studded
with ulcers: there was hoarseness and nartit
a vr.13 t uiu: luctc was nam in iHvintii-
pression of voice, and difficulty of breathing,
doctored with one of oar best physicians and h
rj , ,J . i , r ' - .
said he could not help rae and just prescribed cod
Iiver oil and told my mother I could noHive-longer
han three months. I kept gettiuKweaker- every
gay, when at test a frfend, asked mc whyTdkl
try Dr. Pierce's tlcAden Medical Discovery. ' f
thought there was no use; no more help for me as
coasumpUoa was in our family. My lather and
also mr sister died with' it ; but aftcrJaUiag
the first bottle I seemed to feel better; My appetite
was better and I kept right ou .taking it. with a
bottle of the Pellets once in a while, uutil I fdt
real well. Before taking it, I weighed one hun
dred and ten pouHds.auer takisjciU oae, hundred
aad thirty. 1 have aot had a cough, th iwiater."