THE ALLIANCE, HERALP. FIUDAY, JUNE 10, 1022
THREU
RANDOM SHOTS
What a difference n sinple word
makes. Staring headline in the Oma
ha Journal-Stockman reads: '"Nchrus
ka OiFer? Great Chances in Kaisinir
.f Livestock." Now, what the head
vriter meant to say was that there
were preat opportunities, hut three
ranchers have told u that the wrong
wording was nearer the truth.
So far as that (toes, there are plenty
f chances in the printing business.
Trouble i that so many of them are
ttgainst you.
It'? petting to be a most unchival
vous nee. '1 he kid niece, who is not
t all hard to gaze upon, has so far
failed to locate a youth of her own
age to teach her to s-wim or to pi
tennis.
The office woman hater gets out of
sight the minute f-he enters the looi
Every time we run acros or.e
tho.-e persistent life in-urance agent
ve' think how he could clean up tl
-a-h if he were only in the bootk;
yir.g game.
By the way, do you suppose Tom
Cray has ever forgiven us lor making
light of the serious fact that he ..a
in jail?
We've gotta admit that Colonel
Rufus Jones has got the whole I'latte
Valley kowtowing to him because of
his knowledge ol woris and their
uses. His goat story, as we recall,
as the best contribution to the sagas
of western Nebraska, but after what
he said of the hoi-polloi, we refuse
to place any laurel on his brow.
Anyway, we always like to picture
Hufus with vine leaves in his hair.
When the fishing season is on in
earnest, Abe will forget he owns .a
canoe.
You can't get the old kind of liquid
bait, without which no fishing trip
-was ever a complete success.
"One fisherman got hold of a quart
a t ' i i . L r I .
VI Dan, oui ii was gone ueiuie ne gui
to tne iisnmg noie.
The state board of oardons. it is
said, is now inquiring diligently into
the history of every convict who ap
plies for a parole. This undue dili
gence is due to the discovery that Fred
. .Brown, who has the whole state ex
cited, was turned loose although, under
tthe rules, he was not eligible, lie1
srrettable, isn't it, that the board
should just be discovering the extent
ff their obligation to the public I
Some day, if the interest in Flag
iav continues to Increase, there may
be a Memorial day parade in Alliance
"where at least a dozen hats will go off
.as the nag passes.
Al Gavin came upon a humorous
paragraph which constitutes the best
defense of the flapper to date. This
suuib said that the girls of today dis
play more understanding than their
mothers or grandmothers ever did.
The Rotarian Magazine, in a boost
for spelling reform, presents the word
""Ghoughphtheightteeau" as the word
"potato" spelled in English according
to the pronunciation of certain com
binations of letters found in other
English words. This is no argument
for simplified spelling, but rather a
demonstration or how extremely ver
satile the bloomin' language is.
If a man wants to get cured of the
simplified spelling bug, let him read a
letter from some enthusiast who puts
his own ideas on the subject into prac
tice. The supreme court has rendered a
decision saying that the North Platte
school board has ample authority to
permit school dances. Now there's
nothing in the way of Alliance pupils
enjoying the same privilege.
In North Platte, some patrons ob
jected and took the matter into court.
The judge said the rules adopted were
excellent safeguards, and the mere
fact that some taxpayers objected
didn't have anything to do with the
case. tJ.m
However, just because Alliance may
legally have school dances doesn't
j-pell anything.
THE GUILTY PARTY.
It was about half way throuirh the
revival meeting and as the principal
evangeli.-t was warming to his work he
saw a man sleeping peacefully in the
front row, his t-nores ascending to the
ceiling.
"Will somebody please waken that
man?" he requested. Nobody stirred.
"Somebody wake that man up'.''
thundered the great exhorter.
"Aw, wake him up yourself,"
prowled an unconverted neighbor of
the slumberer. "You're the guy that
put him to fleep."
It's all right to kick about your as
sessment, but if you value your life,
don't cast any asparagus on the county
assessor. One wallop across the dome
with tfcnt cane of John s, and your
heirs may pay the taxes for you.
Oh, well, John ues the famous old
democratic method of settling an ar
gument. That was the thing that attracted
the linh to the patty.
A Nebraska City woman, who is
something of a man-hater, has done'a"
little rf search work and has di.-cov-t
red thit the ingredients of man, plu.
vater, are as follows:
"Fat -enough for seven bars of soap;
iron ennugh for a medium-sized nail;
mgar enough to fill a shaker: bme
enough to whitewash a hen-ouse;
phosphorus enouyh to make 2,200
match tips; matnesium enough for a
l6.-e of stomach remedy; potassium
enough to explode a toy cannon; sul
phur cjiough to rid a dog of a dose of
fleas. My investigation led, too, to the
discovery that the whole collection is
worth ubout US cents, in a day When
thing. are three timea as high priced
tliey should be."
Wednesday, Fred Brown, the Omaha
bandit, was seen in seven different
counties in seven parts of the state.
That bird is getting more publicity
than the James boys, and there were
two of them.
Among the humorous incidents of
the week is the tale of the two house
holds which were aroused to anger
and strong language by some merry
makers who, late at night, tossed
lighted firecrackers under the win
dows where strong men slept.
The merry makers were routed eas
ily. One volley of language strong
enough to set fire to the roof was
enouirh to acconipli.-h it, because there
were two girls in the party of jokers.
But when the tall gink fired a couple
of shots from n .3S, the incident lost
uny humor that it might have pos
sessed. "There was n doir in the back seat,
and 1 like dogs," is the anguished pro
test. "I never patted anything but
the dog."
TODAY'S BEST STOIIY.
Before the days of the dethronement
of King Bacchus, there was a party of
South Omaha stockmen on a train tak
ing a trip through Minnesota. To
while away the hours a friendly game
of poker was in progress. The game
was for medium stakes and strictly
table stakes.
One fellow named William the fel
lers call him Bill was in a pot for a
showdown, as all his chips had
dwindled away in poor calls and poorer
bets.
Behind Bill sat a fellow who was
carrying a fair sized load and he had
watched our friend's chips melt away.
Reaching over and touching Bill on
the shoulder he said in a low tone:
"Say, young man, I am going to get
off this train at Worthington, and I
want to say to you that you want to
get off there, too, whether this damn
train stops or not."
Warrick Wins
Libel Suit In
u, Supreme Court
Lincoln Star: President S. K. War
rick of the First National bank at
ScottsblufT was within his legal rights
when he questioned the official integ
rity of Grant L. Shumway. former
land commissioner of Nebraska, in a
written protest against the granting
of a bank charter at ScottsblufT to
Shumway and others, the state su
preme court holds in a decision dis
missing Shum way's $50,000 libel suit
af'ist Warrick.
Even if the charge was maliciously
made, says the hiuh tribunal. War
wick could present it to the state bank
ing bureau without being held respon
sible under the libel law. It is de
clared to be the bureau's duty to in
vestigate the integrity and financial
responsibility of persons applying for
bank charters, and theretore war
rick's charge was pertinent, whether
true or not.
The district court of Scotts 'Bluff
countv sustained Warrick s demurrer.
On Shumwav's appeal the supreme
court affirms this finding. Ihe ban
charter applied for was denied by the
banking bureau, and an enoit to fee
cure it by mandamus proceedings
failed.
SEE
- - . -. i
Bap-
i Ll'THLRAN Ull'ltUI.
I Holy communion will be celebrated
lin the service Sunday morning, negin-
n. ng at lu oc.ock. The service will
be conducted in the German language.
; Sunday school at !:;t0 o'clock.
1 F. DKOEGEMUELLEK, l'astor.
METHODIST t Ht Kl II.
The pastor will speak at both the
"orr:nvr nrd evening services next
Sunday at the usual hours.
Notwithstanding the absence of
many people last Sunday on vacation
trips, the church was well filled ot
both morning and evening services.
The unique cradle roll service in the
niorning in which each class appeared
in their regalia, received many com
plimentary remarks, and the children's
day program in the evening was snid
to have been one of the best given in
the church for a long time.
We invite all our ooonle to t.i'o id-
vantage of the rare opportunity next
Tuesday night to listen to the v. oi Id
renowned lecturer, lr. Louis Albert
Banks who will spofik t;t u mass melt
ing nt the Methodist church. It will
le a great privilege to lit."i lo Ihe
man who has written the most hook
of anv man ivincr. who ns tln n:i.'m
of Trinity Methodist church in Jener
received over a thousand members in
to the church in two vears. who n-ns n
close friend and contemporary worker
wnn trance. t.. Willard, and whose
voice has been heard for years at the
big chautauuuas.
We also will have a chance to win
the large flag on display in Miller's
store window, if our Sunday srhool
can send out the largest number of
adults to the lecture.
M. C. SMITH, Tastor.
"ihe Greatest .vjni.er in the Bible. Men. you had better get together on ice;" evening, "Healing Faith.'
Aoram. c chum that no creator this mutter. Wp limo hn uiil. ikn. i.. r..u,.......
. . .. ' - ......... ...... .... ..7 ii i i.i.- iiinun lll.
sinner is mentioned in that wonderful Ihs twice now and we do not hesitate vcCOme to the friendly church with,
book than Abram. Come and be one: to say that they are developing some ,h. ZiiJ in Twh.tri -r
that will study with us team Thev have challenged the C. IV?11 P' 5he!i'. iJ
I , - . . luiiiii- mi pining, iiit: inuicit naj
I., hoys ot the Christian church. i been redecorated at last, and it's a
Sermon subjects for Sundav: "Morn-j beauty,
ing, "The Royalty of I hristian Serv- R. J. MINORT, Pastor.
The B. Y. P. U. boy are meeting
twice n week for practice in baseball
to leat the "Dads" in the near futu:e.
The man with a political bee in his
bonnett often gets stung. Charleston
Gazette.
Herald Want Ads Results.
CHURCH OF CHRIST.
"Our Best for God" and "The Great
Storehouse," are the subjects for the
sermons next Lord's day. It is our
desire to present sermons that are
bcnptural and helpful. The preaching
of the word is given its proper em
phasis each Lord's day. Gospel music
is rendered at eacn service. ine ex
cellent work done by the choir nuken
all services more worshipful. The
male quartet sings nearly every Sun
dav vpr!nr
The Bible school contest continues
with the men and boys on one side
and the women and girls on .he other.
The same points are used as in the
other contest. Come, be on time v ith
a prepared lesson and stay for the
morning service and you will count
fifteen points for your side.
The minister will attend the Chnd
ron conference on fundamentals next
week. This is to be a great meeting
and many would find it helpful to at
tend. At the last board meet H. D. Shel
lenberger was elected church treasurer
and Fremont Wilson financial cleik.
We hope that all who are interested
will see that the finances are sulficient
to meet expenses as they come.
You are invited to come to the
church with a message and a welcome.
S. J. EPLER, Minister.
BAPTIST CHURCH.
With the attendance at 263 last Sun
day at Bible school, we have set a
mark that will not be easy to keep up
and it will require every effort upon
the part of all members to see that
this mark is not missed this coming
Sunday. The women are determined
to give the men an overwhelming tie
feat, but the men are not asleep on
the job. The men will meet under
the tree next to the parsonage for
their study. The topic this week is,
.1.
Kellogg's Corn Flakes
touch-the-spot
anyhour gaJmSli
of day
or night
"fiobbr dog, guilM if makoi you hungry, too,
to Mmo mo oat m groat big bowl ot Kollogg't tor
broak(at ovary morning! But I can't tparo mny
today, Bobbui honott I can't!"
You can't resist the appeal of Kellogg's Corn Flakes!
Pour out a bowl brim full of Kellogg's big, joyously
brown, crisp and crunchy! Was there ever such an
appetite treat! And, such a flavor! A breakfast or lunch
or supper thrill for big folks as well as little ones.
Get KELLOGG'S Corn Flakes for sure because
Kellogg's are the original Corn Flakes and so deliciously
good and so superior in every way that your delight will
be boundless. Please understand that Kellogg's are
never tough or leathery or hard to eat
they're always crispy!
Kellogg's .are sold' only in the RED
end GRE2.N7pac.k3ge. bearing the 'sig
nature of Wi K. Kellogg, originator of
Toasted Corn Flakes! NONE ARE
GENU I N, E ' W.PTH O U T IT!-; Ha ve
Kellogg's for breakfast tomorrow!
70)
-oS
CORN FLAKES
AIm auWof KELLOCC'S MUMBLES ! KELL0CCS BRAN, coLJ u kruU.d
i
us
TOASTED
CORN.
FlAKEi
.in - - . . ,i n !B m m am.
L-r-p r taNii trnn
' -l-o . j. . I . t o.Zo .;.
of... HV
A One-Day Sale
Smart Summer Frocks
FOR SATURDAY ONLY WE WILL OFFER YOUR CHOICE OF
BEAUTIFUL SUMMER GARMENTS AT CLEARANCE PRICES
French Organdie Dresses
at a Discount of -
. Wo
Can you duplicate these Frocks at such prices? No
you'll agree when you see them.
For they're developed in the very finest summer
fabric, and so beautifully made! They all follow the lat
est vogues, and are in a variety of attractive models.
You'll find all shades canary, tomato, periwinkel, lav
ender and white.
You'll surely want several of these Dresses, so come
early for selection. We expect crowds.
THE FASHION S
OP
announcing
the expected arrival of the new automobile that is the peer of the
lower priced cars
The Good
MAXWE
1
T17 E hope to have on our show room floor Saturday,
W or Monday, the different body types of The Good
Maxwell. The A. H. Jones Company is confident that
they have secured in The Good Maxwell a moderately
priced car that will give you performance in exchange
for its purchase price.
If you are in the market for a car or if you or not
come in Saturday and see The Good. Maxwell for your
self.' We feel assured you will be gFatly pleased with
the lines asvell as te nlechanlcal excellence of this new
.. .fall and get.inik)i.Wvtion.fTQnus.' . It is a pMasure to
explain .the features of. The Good Maxwell.
A. H. j
ones mm
Third and Cheytnne
Distributors of "The Good MAXWELL"
opaoy
Alliance, Nebraska
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