THE ALLIANCE HERALD. FRIDAY, MAY 10, 1922.
" ton, a proat pipe smoker, on a certain
. RANDOM SHOTS
'sweethearts linper as a loliacco stop-'!.'
V - i le r. Vhat in nudes is a tobacco-stop- I
per ? i V -
A pungent parafrraphcr of our ac- I Fi
uaintance points out that the more! OUR COURSE IN' POETRY Lf tl
THREE
:ailuoad notes
men knock short skirts, the j.hrrt.r
they get, and drews the conclusion that
j i may uo jusi as wen lo keen on
t..:-i. r: -u ti i.' m
COLRSE IN POLTR 0f the Alliance-Ravenna wire leit last
r. ... wesson u I week for a few weeks' vacation. Mr.
On this occasion, we shall touch on1 Man-in was relieved bv Second Trick
humorous ver.-e as the second sten in i .1; - i v n ...v.- i- ....
1 , . , . - , r . r - inuuil MYTI J . visa. v 111 iuiii
knocking, if one happens to feel that our. campaign to educate Leo Lloyd rel.eved bv Vacation DUnutrhpr C. J.
way. u iuy xeirin. inis is not uroueriv t f t ui.i t-
l. - 1 iiuvi ll'liuviij VI t-mtr i.j
ir.vun, 1 ucrxi sip, al
ter the sad-eyed ballad, should be
obituary poetry, but we haven't been
DAILY LESSON IN ETIQUETTE.
spot and moves his hand to his hip!ln the mood to,d,f UP sample. Leo
pocket, stand perfectly still until youmay "ow ppend , netx few days in
jtnow wnemer ne is a Damlit or a boot
covering reams of naner with stuff
of the following sort. Recent attempts
01 ins nave convinced us that he is
weakest in this line, and he must bear
in mind that practice makes nerfec
tion. The example submitted is short,
Remark that it is a fine dav.i.DUl T,.10 W1. 1 .(, we" t0 Iemom
i-tiiiMminffhn..i.ut. ' 1 oer mat me mer.t in a poetical com
.V- F'" lnositinn he.-,ra hnl..tlv w,loi. f
whiz or a iiivver. or reier to tne .. : .. -v""-""
e carefully. Ieo. for in
this hurried course we shall not re
peat:
iegger, or simply a man with a big
heart who wishes to share a drink.
Watch your conversation carefully. It
is better to SDeak on some ordinarv
subject until he makes his intentions
clear,
wlnz or a iiivver, or refer to the l' , " V
condition of the roads. This is import- I Ienft.h Pr
cnt. it may save you embarrassment I V?ase ob.s,rv
lit . .... 1 T rt 1 a ntivt,ioil i
We once knew a man in a similar cir-
custance who begun right off the bat
to smack his lips and make inane re
marks about the propective kick. The
man who had segregated him fiom
the multitude then reached into his
his pocket and took out a bill case.
Ihe ready conversationalist quickly
changed his tune and began to talk
jibout hard times, but he only suc
ceeded in getting in deeper. For the
friend drew out a snapshot of his
girl.
So, you see, it depends a great deal
upon the intentions of the man who
has singled you out as the object of
his intentions. Do not appear thirsty
until you see not only the bottle, but
the label, or, if there is no label, have
sniffed the contents. It is well, in
these cases, to be polite, especially if
110 cinnK has been takn from the bot
tie. Have the liberal man take
first, and if possible, while he is ex
citel, encourage him to drink all of
it,
es-cape with your stomach lining intact.
lust kissing him for his mother am
Little Willie from the minor
Licked the mercury all otf.
Thinking in his childish way
T would cure his w hoop ng cough
At the funeral Willie's mother
Pertly said to Mrs. Drown
"Twas a cold day for Willie
When the mercury went down."
Next Monday
Is Circus Day
For Alliance
Monday is show day. The dawn will
break as the long gaudily painted
special train comes to a halt in the
I Burlincton railrnml var.U nn.l Iko
uue u-AvVini. mwi. c ..." ... T .1
monster four-ring wild animal exDosi
...:n 1 1 1; . 1. . 1"
Vnn !! thm K i,io f mou ,-.. "vu "1U ue umouumg me woncier 01
"7...-.U "..1L ,7 Vi rlr. tne big top and all the smaller toDs
-j oeiore many ot us are out of slumber
-Ua. a : 1 r a. ii 11
s"- - The wagons will roll towards the
We have been compensated for the ' Thi,rd Lp.treet P,oum,a. Elephants, ca
Aorrora of dZ Zlm blon: romedarie?, .acred oxen,
...:u ...1 .... zeor
vith whom we visited for a half an
hour about a year ago drew nigh the
editorial sanctum yesterday. "I wish
to see the editor," he said. We told
Jiim that he was gazing right at him.
He looked puzzled. "Perhaps I was
mistaken about the editor part." he
as ana other "led" animals wi
lumber, waddle, pad and walk in their
wake, and the clatter of six and eiVht-
horse teams will resound through the
streets. Work-a-day will have become
a show clay, and the true American
fiesta spirit will grip us.
And, after the great tents are raised
said, "I am looking for the one they ' T? 7 T
call George." We acknowledged the SuV1,? V hundreds of
1 " " t' uiim UIIKIIUI0 iiac utttt 1 1
fed, groomed and garbed for parade,
name. His look of perplexity in
creased. "It's the fat one I want,"
said he. And we arose and bowed,
und the pride of Cato was nothing to
the look on our face.
We explained as much as he would
listen to, and although he accepted
our explanation, there was a hurt look
in his eyes when he left that made
us wonder if he didn't think we were
.spoofing him.
that mile long procession will head
glitteringly toward the heart of the
business district It leaves the show
lot at 11 a. m. promptly, and much
of novelty is promised, together with
a world of color, gorgeous tableaux
wagons, floats, four bands, two cal
liopes, and all cages and dens open
to view.
The performance, which opens with
stirring and opulent pageantry, will
start at 2 p. m. and S p. m. Hundreds
of arenic artists, clowns and trained
Only 12 more pounds to lose and we W'1CJ animals will do almost impossible
But we don't care.
cat again.
Ah, if mother could only see us now.
One of these fellows who is always
trying to discover something new de
clares that Columbus was an Armenian,
And that his real name was Kholum
Jbian. Those who want to believe have
our permission to go as far as they
like.
Los Angles claims a citizen by the
name of Lieuiessuesszesszes Hurruiz
zisstizzii. We understand they call
liim Mr. Sodafountain for short. If so,
we'll gamble he's the only man in the
world who aproves of his nickname.
uiruiers in me iour rings, tne air
and the steel arenas. All will be the
best that there is to be seen in the
land, from the big elephant act to
the last monkey races.
OLD STUFF
THE NEW NATIONAL FLOWER
(Boilerplate Joke)
The goldenrod has been dethroned
and the dandelion has been crowned
as the national flower, according to .
a Pennsylvania observer, who names '
Mr. Volstead a3 the king-making War- j
wick in this instance. If any one
loubts, says the authority quoted, let
him go into the rural districts and note
the w ide and even "tender interest" in
the dandelion. "Natives are not only
admiring it, but they are actually
gathering it and taking it home in
great quantities. They are bathing
it in warm water, feeding it with
fugar and treating it with kindnesss
hitherto unheard of."
TODAY'S BEST STORY
A couple of years ago Ted Wihkley
v ns on enthusiastic graduate from the
school of journalism at a western uni
versity, lie bought a country weekly
sind settled down to reform the county.
The first issue of the paier brought
out under his control flamed with
promising announcements. The dean
of the school of journalism received
a copy and read this editorial an
nouncement:. "We aim to tell the truth, the whole
truth, and nothing but the truth."
Nearly a year later the dean re
ceived another copy of the boy's paper,
with this proclamation circled with
blue pencil:
"We aim to tell the truth but not
so blamed much of it as heretofore!"
PERSISTENCY PAYS
Persistency in inserting the same
advertisement, with no change of
wonting or illustration, is a trait of
some advertisers.
A prospective customer wrote to a
firm whose advertisement never
seemed to change:
"Have noted your picture of one
pair of corduroy pants in 'Home Maga
zine for past four months. More I
see of them the better I like them. If
not sold as yet, please enter my order
for tame."
Health Hint for Today: Cussing the
cops is a good w;ay to reduce.
Fashion notes from Philadelphia and
New York city ure to the effect that
they're wearing them two inches long
er now. Thank Heaven the girls are
moderate in their reform and are not
going to extremes. Two inches won't
even hide the roll in the hosiery.
I U rwnnlfvl that Sir Isaac New-
It was after taps but a certain pri
vate had taken a chance and was
caught walking down the village street
with his latest affinity by a sergeant
in his own outfit.
"My sister, sergeant," began the
terrified youth as a matter of int
iduction. "You see. she "
"That's all right, my boy," inter
rupted the sergeant genially. "She
used to be my sister when I was your
age. 'Lo, Maggie."
vin visited with former Alliance Relay
Operator Tony Nelson, now living in
Much Interest
In the Summer
Training Camp
Want to have a free vacation, with
all expenses paid by Uncle Sam?
If you do, here's your chance.
L. S. Army officials have announced
a series of military training camps
for young Americans. One thousand
picked young men from Nebraska.
"Reservists are not required to at
tend weekly or monthly drills, nor are
they subject to call for active duty in
case of strikes, riots etc. The re
serve forces constitute what the man
implies a reserve force to be called
of peace, it ils contemplated that th
will serve either in the national guAnl
or regular army. It Is hoped thatj
world war veterans, who have not Uta
time for service in the national guard,
snd who desire to enlist In the regular
to the deiense of the country in case, army, will identify themselves withi
1-1 niiuuimi -mergvnry. v nere en- the organized reserves. Any inquiries
uens of mil.tary age have the time, 1 addressed to us at the Army buildinjr,
and desire more active duty in time Omaha, will receive prompt attention.'
Chicago, arriving there Wednesday f,0l"n I'nKota and Kansas will be sent
e breakfast, l" V11 i'es 10"",',. '-. for the month
morning just in time to take
with Mr. Nelson.
First Trick Operator A. H. Newman
of Broken Bow was relieved by S. E.
Stewart of Ellsworth Thursday morn
ing. Mr. Newman mu.'t appear at
Cheyenne soon as a railroad witness
for a law pint. H expects to return
the first of the week.
Middle of the week business has
been very good due to extra business
coming in from the Sterling division.
Additional stock shipments and also
the usual if not more than average oil
movement has given several extra
crews work for several trips and sev
eral freight way cars have been tern-1
porarily used. A special shipment of
twenty-six cars of stock for Seneca
and Lakeside also will receive twenty
eight cars this week has leen in addi
tion to the through stock business.
Miss Frances Gadient of Whitman
returned to work the latter part of
the week lrom a week's vacation. She
was relieved by Mr. Moore of Mullen
who was Inter relieved by T. V. Gor
man of Lakeside.
The practice of running engines
through from Alliance to Lincoln and
vice versa has been quite a success for
the present. The increase in business
has called into service all available
engine power and Havelock has been
shooting out several the past week. A
train with four overhauled engines
was hauled Wednesday evening for the
Sterling division.
Trains No. 39 and 40 which were
discontinued west of Broken Bow into
Seneca some time ago will be operated
regularly as before commencing May
28. Also two more Alliance division
trains will be resumed, 35 and 36 Alli
ance to Edgemont handling Deadwood-
Denver equipment. These trains will
be operated as the passenger traffic
requires, resuming 01 tnese iour
trains will give several Alliance divis
ion crews work, also other trains all
over the Burlington lines west will be
resumed tor the summer passenger
traffic. Trains 41 and 42, also 43 and
44 will after discontinue several local
and flag stops which were made in lieu
of 3! and 40. Broken Bow to Seneca,
however, the schedule will be same as
before discontinuing of those trains.
No change in schedule will be made in
passenger stops irom Alliance 10
Kderemont as 35 and 36 were run ex
pressly for reducing 41 and 42 tourist
equipment.
An extra gang was added to Alli
ance division maintenance 01 way
forces last week and it is expected that
local section forces will also De in
creased in the near future.
of August. No previous military ex
perience is necessary and there Is no
obligation for subsequent sen-ice.
All expenses will be paid. Uniforms,
housing and railroad fare is furnished.
Military instruction, including out-of-door
sports will make up the bulk
of the work. There will be wholesome
recreation and definite improvement
in your physical condition is assured.
Only one thousand names will be ac
cepted. Applications are coming in
daily, army officials declare.
The chief of the staff of eigthy
ninth division annouced today that
widespread interest is being manifest
ed throughout the division area (South
Dakota. Nebraska ami Kansas) in the
enlisted reserve corps. Inquiries in
regard to enlistments are being re
ceived in large numbers from former
service men, all of whom signify a
desire to identify themselves with this
component of the armed forces of the
country.
The points about which the rreatest
number of inquiries are received are,
eligibility for enlistment, and atten
dance at camp during the training
period. Any man who served in the
army or marine corps for at least four
months between April fi, 1917 and No
vember 11, 191S. is eligible to be en
listed in the highest grade honorably
held by him durintr that time, physical
examination only being necessary.
In referring to the attendance at
training camps, Col. Hopkins, chief
of the staff, was emphatic in his state
ment that it was his policy to excuse
from such attendance any man UKn
whom this absence from home and
business would work undue hardship.
Continuing, Col. Hopkins said: "It is
realized that we are located in the
heart of a great agricultural district
and that the period of summer training
will conflict somewhat with the har
vest season. It is not anil will not be
our purpose to interfere with the civil
pursuits of members of the reserve
corps. War department regulations
provide for just such contingencies by
directing us to give due consideration
to the occupations and other civil du
ties and responsibilities of reserve of
ficers and enlisted men."
(31
OUT TODAY
THESE SNAPPY NEW VICTOR HITS
SWANER RIVEK MOON Medley waltz.
DO IT AGAIN Fox trot.
MAMMY LOU
TICK ME IT AND LAY ME DOWN IN DEAR OLD
DIXIELAND.
A hit by the Peerless Quartet that will live in your mem
ory for months to come. Just one of those records with two
real pieces on the same record.
CALIFORNIA Fox trot
WHO RELIEVED IN YOU Fox trot
SOME SUNNY DAY Fox trot
ROSY POSY Fox trot
Re sure to come in and let us play these records for you.
They're a real treat.
PRICE 73c
THIELE'S
W ELL, OF CpURSE
They were sitting in the hammock.
"If I should kiss you, would you
scream?" he asked cautiously.
"Well," she answered coyly, "I don 1 1
see how I could if you did it properly.
THE MODERN NATION
"And so." concluded the Sunday
School teacher. "Adam and Eve were
driven from the Garden of Eden."
"Couldn't Adam drive his own car 1
queried the pupil whose dad owned a
Kolled Kice.
Special.
:;
Here's Why
YOU SHOULD BUY THE ANKER-HOLTH
CKEAM SEPARATOR
We are personally convinced that the
Anker-Holth Separator is the most profitable
machine for you to buy. And we want you
to know why we believe it is.
READ THESE REASONS CAREFULLY:
1. Bowl is guaranteed to balance for the life of the sep
arator. 3. Every bearing1 is self-oiling.
3. No unsanitary cast iron bowl pit.
4. Aboslutely easy running.
5. Sanitary and easy to clean.
We will cheerfully show you these points
of superiority any time you call.
Rhein Hardware Co.
Prompt and Courteous Service.
OFFER No. 2
Iloosier cabinet No. 2053 with porce
lain top. Regular retail price is $72.00;
our discount sale price, one week only
$57.50
rices
ON
Kitchen
Cabinets.
FOR ONE WEEK
ONLY
Starting Saturday
of this week we will
make the following
inducement to those
who want
II O O S I E R
Kitchen Cabinets
OFFER No. 1
Iloosier Cabinet No. 243
price is $G.00. Our dis
price is S'iS.00. Our dis
count sale price, one week
only
$52.50
OFFER No. 3
Iloosier Cabinet No. 2055, with por
celain top. Kegular retail price is $84.50;
our discount sale price, one week only
$62.50
Our Discount Sale Continues to Of
fer Substantial Reductions on
All Lines to Cash Buyers
GLEN MILLER
HOUSEFURNISHINGS
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