THE ALLIANCE. HERALD. FRIDAY, MAY 5. 1922.
THE ALLIANCE HERALD. FRIDAY, MAY 5, 1922.
RANDOM SHOTS
An Alliance srirl was railed to the
telephone Uie oilier tluy, but it wan all
ft MiUte. Aa Carney says, "central '
probably Rave her the wrong number.
At any rate, a voice at the other end
of the line axkeri: "Is this Mrs.
lilank?" The Alliance girl replied.
"No, I'm not but 1 might have been.'-
Judge Ta.h is another man who ab
solutely declines to go on a diet to re
duce. Half a dozen friends, peeing us In
the suit that fits our now elim lorm,
have said: "Why, you really look tn
years younger." If they knew the
secret ot" our age, they might wonder,
as we do, whether to take it as a com-,
fdiment or an insult.
Neighbor, seeing the moving van'
carry our furnishings to the new abode
remarked: "Lr, by the way, are yon
establishing a precedent and is this to
te a yearly all air?"
Now, what do you suppose she
meant by that?
'I "Vi a . 411 a aiivT Xfavlr TuB i'r
It seems he was walking down the
street carrying a cigar box under his
arm. A young lady stopped him. "Mr.
Clemen." she said, "you are smoking'
vntiralv trwt mirh " "Not at all." Waal
the reply, "I'm moving again."
TODAY'S "BEST STORY
The professor brought a paper bag
to class.
"Gentlemen," said he to the boys,
"111 now show you a carefully dis
sected frog."
He toon out two ham sandwiches
and a hard-boiled egg.
"That's queer," he remarked. "I
would have sworn that I ate my
lunch."
We had a brilliant idea the morning
the moving started. We put on our
new spring suit. The weather wasn't
exactly suitable, but the idea worked
like a charm. We weren't asked to do
any of the dirty work,
A correspondent to the Nebraska
City IreAs asks how he can keep his
toes from going to sleep. The an
swer he received was not to let them
turn in.
Conan Doyle says there will be dogs
in heaven. That is cheering news, but
U we admit dogs, there is no reason
why other animals will be barred. And
If animals, why not birds and insects?
If there are mosquitos and flies, they
can call it heaven, but we know a lot
of people who won t be satisfied with
it.
TODAY'S IIOOCH STORY.
Standing on the slippery pavement
of a small Southern town one rainy
night, like sailors on a" reeling deck,
they were discussing a member of
their party who had to retire from
the scene of action. The principal
speaker in the group appeared to be
having some ditticulty in keeping his
footing on the swaying pavement. The
buildings on either side bowed and
rocked. The telephone poles did some
sort of contortionist stunt and even
his voice was a bit thick.
"Where's Sam?" another member of
the group asked him.
"We took him home," the first
speaker informed him between hic
coughs. "Waii he drunk?"
"Drunk? it took three of us to get
his hat in the car."
Crookedness never pays, a preacher
told us vesterdav. As nn examule. he
uointetl out the corksciew. "It's out t?3SU:SSiS:
of a job now," he said.
To Bill Mounts goes the credit for
discovering this: "The agent can dem
onstrate with it for six months, and
it's 'Btill new. But three days alter
you get it, it's a used car."
Things have come to a pretty pass
wheri it takes five bandits to rob one
small bank. It's getting so all of the
industries are crowded.
Ole Buck still uses tallow to help
him keep his hair from standing up.
However, it doesn't take so much tal
low to make it behave these days.
ANNOUNCING BABY
A. irAiia nraua Atrpnt. llWftminp the
father of a healthy boy, scorned to
send forth the customary conserva
tive and engraved announcement,
and substituted the following:
He is here! He is here!
He is here!
The Greatest, Grandest, most Glit
ering Gorgeous Gift of God!
A BABY!
Opens an unlimited engagement at
the home of Mr. and Mrs. Henry J.
Tanbark. .
Positively his first appearance in
any crib.
vinAcount them perfect pounds.
See this burly, bouncing and brob-,
tiing-nagian boy! !
See him toy with his ten tempting and
tint inriHliiilntintr toes! '
Hear him cry with his loud, lusty and
leonine lungs!
SEE HIM FEED!
TV, fiilv tnnt n(l tvuicallv trim
trained nurse will tip him his boiled
and brittle bottle in six superb exhibi
tions daily morning, matinee and
evening. !
Grand Vocal Concert Immediately
Prior to Each Palpitating Perform
ance. After which the great wonder
spectacle:
SLEEP
Marvelous, Miraculous Mysterious
Sublime.
Present this card at the door.
Wet wash calls received before
8:30 will be returned by 2 p. m.
20 lbs. for $1. Alliance Steam
- Laundry; 38-tf
CHURCHES
LUTHERAN CHURCH.
On April 2(5, the Lutheiul church in
America was 75 years old. This note
worthy event will be properly ob
served in our local church Sunday.
Two services will be held. One in the
morning at 10:30 o clock in German.
The other in the evening at 7:30.
The public is cordially invited.
. K DROEGEMUELLER, Pastor.
CHRISTIAN SCIENCE.
First Church of Christ, Scientist,
3l0',i Box Butte avenue. Sunday serv
ices, 11 a. m., subject, "Adam and
Fallen Man." Sunday school 9:45 a
m. Wednesday evening services at 8
Reading room, 310'i Box Butte ave
nue open every Wednesday from 2 to
4 p. m.
CHURCH OF CHRIST.
The district convention of Chun-lies
of Christ is in session at Bay anl be
ginning this evening and closing Sun
day, As president of the district the
minister will deliver his address at
the opening of the convention on the
first evening. President A. D. Harmon
will also speak the same evening.
The minister will return for the
Sunday services and will preach both
morning and evening. The subjects
are: "God's Prpmises Fulfilled," and
"The Gospel Message for Today." You
will desiie to hear these sermons.
There will be special music by the
choir and junior orchestra at both
services. At the evening hour the
male quartet will sing.
May 14 will be Mother s Day and
appropriate services and music are the
order of the day.
we are in a contest with Scottsbluff
for attendance and efficiency so you
can help us win if you are not in some
other Bible school. Be present at 10
o clock, a studied lesson and remain
for church and you can help us win
the contest. If you have never at
tended Sunday school call up the min
ister and he will give you the Bible
references for the lesson so that you
can help us and at the same time help
yourself. Do what you can and come
to the church with a message and a
v. elcome.
S. J. EPLER, Minister.
METHODIST CHURCH.
Bishop Stuntz, who with Dr. Cissell,
area secretary, and other leaders,
stopped off between trains in Alliance
last Monday and looked over the new
church, expressed himself as being
well pleased with the building. He
especially remarked about excellent
workmanship saying that "it couldn't
be better." The date for the dedica
tion was set for August 27, and Bishop
Stuntz will officiate. The annual con
ference which i.i to be held in Alliance
will begin the following Wednesday,
August 80.
The district conference held in
ScottsblufF last Monday and Tuesday
was for two purposes: To celebrate
the victory of the purchase of the
north hotel building for a Methodist
hospital, and for information about the
results of the Centenary. A six story
hotel building which co.;t $1GO,000 for
the framework alone, was purchased
for $40,000, less than 25 cents on the
dollar. This will make a 150 bed
hospital for the Northwest Nebraska
inference of the Methodist church.
The initial payment of, $20,000 cash
has been collected and paid on the
proerty. Work will be pushed to
completion as iu;ckly as possible, and
thus provide western Nebraska with
the best hospital between Denver and
Lincoln.
This writer entered his first church,
Ewing, Neb., ten years ago this week,
and the first Sunday in May, pleached
his first sermon as a regular Method
ist pastor. Thus endeth the first de
cade. So on Sunday morning ihe ser
mon topic will be "Ten Years With the
Saddlebags."
The evening services begin one half
hour later. League at 6:30 and eve
ning service at X o'clock. Evening
topic, "The Christian's Perfection."
M. C. SMITH, Pastor.
BAPTIST CHURCH.
The Bible school went on the wrone
side of the two hundred mark last
week by five. Of course there were
(juite a number that came late, but we
do not count them. Let us mako an
effort to all arrive on time this week.'
The men's class will hold their session
in the parsonage where no doubt they I
will enjoy the lessons better owing to
the lack of noise. Our crowded condi-
tion makes this move necessary. i
At Wednesday's meeting quite a lot
of business was transacted, among
which was the authorizing of the
treasurer to pay all outstanding l-ills
with the help of money received for
the two lots- recently sold by the
church. This is a move in the right i
direction, we hope soon to see a
building fund started. Just how this
will be done is not yet clear.
Arthur Wright, who was formerly a
member of the church, sent a hand
some check in memory of his wife
who died a year ago. She is remem
bered bs one of the most faithful
women the church has ever had in its
membership.
The B. Y. P. U. has a social tonight
at the church. The ladies will hold a
food sale at the Fourth Street market
Shall we not see a larger number of
fathers and mothers at Bible school
Sunday ?
Sermon subjects for Sunday are as
follows: Morning, "That Dormant
Gift"; Evening, "God's Alibi". Wel
come to the friendly church with the
friendly grip. Orchestra accompanies
all songs.
B. J. MINORT, Pastor.
Rotarians Hear
Interesting Talk
From Hollander
The members of the Alliance Rotary
club heard a most interesting talk on
business conditions in Java and Hol
land Wednesday evening at their reg
ular Wednesday dinner. William
Zoelle, who is employed in the mechan
ical department of the Lowry &
Henry garage, wa3 the principal
speaker. Mr. Zoelle was born in Hol
land, and spent several years in Java
working on an oil project. He has
been in America only two months, but
has already an excellent knowledge of
the language, having the ability to
make himself clearly understood, al
though he speaks with a decided accent
and has some difficulties in phrasing
his thoughts in English. Following
his talk he answered the questions of
a number of members.
The system of business credits is
regarded by Mr. Zoelle as the most
surprising thing he has discovered in
connection with American Dusiness.
In Holland, he explained, it is impos
sible to buy or retail merchandise on
terms to any great extent, because of
the fluctuating value of the money.
Guilders, which are nominally the
equivalent of our dollar, are worth
sometimes aa little as 50 cents, de
pendine on the rate of exchange. This
fluctuation in value is an insurmount
able obstacle to credit business, inas
much as purchases could be made
when the exchange rate is very low
ami could almost pay for themselves
with a sudden rise.
However, he declared that reganl
less of the value of the money, a
guilder was actually worth a dollar to
the laborers at least it represented
that sum to the workingman. Aver
age wages for skilled labor are about
thirty to forty-five guilders per week,
and this is about the same as for
American laborers. However, prices
are higher. A suit of clothes contain
ing a fair amount of wool sells for
125 to 175 guilders, although cheaper
cotton suits can be purchased for 30
to 40 guilders. Gasoline sells at about
85 cents a gallon. Mr. Zoelle explained
that wooden shoes, which most people
believe are worn universally in Hol
land, are actually worn by only the
very poor and cost only a few cents.
Leather shoes cost around 12 guilders
per pair.
Automobiles are very expensive in
Java, the speaker said, a Ford car
bringing about 2,000 guilders, and the
really expensive makes bringing from
ten to sixty thousand guilders. These
ere not sold on terms at all, but on
cash payment, the car being ordered
after the money is paid. Java is "the
end of the world," he said, in distance
and in other ways. It takes about
three months for a car to arrive.
In answer to questions, Mr. Zoelle
explained that the labor unions in
Holland are not large organizations;
that they do not hang together very
well, and that in most cases, strikes
can be financed by them for only a
ween or iwo.
Reciprocity with Canada seems to
mean an allowance for returned bot
tles. Wall Street Journal.
Terhaps modern dancing is called
dancing for the same reason that mod
em dance music is called music.
NATURAL CLIMAX.
"Jim Bilkins is dead."
"How come?"
"He stuck his head into the Red Dog
saloon and hollered FIRE."
"Well?"
"They did." Siren.
TIMES HAVE CHANGED. (
"Do you remember the old stories
about the boy who went to the great
city and came back home just in time
to pay the mortgage off the farm?"
Yes," replied Farmer Corntossel.
"It's different now. When a boy leaves
the farm the home folks have to hold
themselves in readiness to go to town
and help him out with his rent and his
grocery bill." Washington Evening
Star.
"Hear no evil, "speak no evil, see no
evil," is an attractive motto, but it is
hardly suited to use by a police chief.
New York Tribune.
FREE
Demonstration
ALL DAY
Saturday, May 6
Some time during the day you will want
to taste this delicious combination we will
have for you.
ROB ROY COFFEE
- - with- -ITEN'S
COOKIES AND CRACKERS
are the peers of their class. You will need
light refreshments Saturday, so make sure
to be our guests during the day.
LEE MOORE
RIALTO I
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TONIGHT, MAY 5
Red Blooded Adventure and Romance
RUTH CLIFFORD, in
"TROPICAL LOVE"
As Languorously Alluring as the Tropics.
COMEDY "THE MARATHON"
SATURDAY, MAY G
"Five Days to Live"
Featuring SESSUE HAYAKAWA
A tremendous drama of the Orient. The scenes
, will be a treat for a change
AESOP'S FA15LES CARTOON
r t
SUNDAY and MONDAY, MAY 7-8
A RIALTO SPECIAL
RALPH CONNOR'S STORY
ANNOUNCING
Initial Appearance
- - of the New - -
NGOLN
LELAND-BUILT
"THE ARISTOCRAT OF THE MOTOR WORLD"
- - - at the - - -
Alliance Auto Show
May 4, 5 and 6
DO NOT PAIL TO SEE THIS AUTOMOBILE
COURSEY & MILLER
We Deliver
4 Times
a Day
We Deliver
4 Times
a Day
Noticeably Different
And the 'World Looked Good Again
See how it tastes to put your teeth into a nice juicy Roast,
Steak or Chops. The kind you want every day in the year. The
taste that lasts.
Besides we give you Quality, Price and Service With a Smile,
and 16 ounces to the pound.
"Cameron Of the Royal Mounted" 11 Order Early PLENTY OF DRESSED CHICKEN - Order Early
Featuring Gaston Glass, Irving Cummings
and Vivienne Osborne
If this picture is not one of the best of its kind
i you have ever seen regardless of admission
you paid your money will be gladly refunded
ADM. Children 10c; adults 22c, W. T. 3c
NOTE MATINEE DAILY 10c and 15c except Saturdays,
Sundays and Holidays, when night prices will prevail.
THE RIALTO is not connected with any theater or
film exchange as reported.
tiiiiiimtn
All kinds of Pickles, Cheese, Bread, Butter, Milk and Whip
ping Cream.
Don't forget to call Phone 30.
Your Sunday Dinner
We Deliver
4 Times
a Day
Mode! Market
We Deliver
4 Times
a Day