THE ALLIANCE HERALD, FRIDAY. APRIL 28, 1022.
THRE3
E
RANDOM SHOTS
today's hooch stoky.
(Scott.sblutT Star-Herald)
One of our citizens who should
know better has a bad habit of flirt
ing with hooich. In the old days he
had been quite a "soak" and t-o, the
ether nttenioon when he showed up
at home, three sheets to the wind, his
vile knew by experience what to do,
her recipe beinjr to rush him into a
tub ot warm water and then into bed,!
where alter a nap he was usually
rone the worse for wear. So, upon
his arrival she followed the usual
custom, hustled him into the tub and
turned on the hot water. Just then
the telephone rang. It was one ot
her club members, and the Indies had
much to say to each other, the con
versation, however, being violently in
terrupt! by a wild scream Horn an
other room. Dropping the phone the
wife ran to the bathroom door. "What
in the world is the mutter'.'' she a.-Keu
in wild alarm.
"Shay, dearie," called the husband.
"Do you want nie two minutes or four
minutes soft boiled or medium?"
She had lorgotttn the cold water
tap.
A front page dispatch in the State
Journal Wednesday told of the failure
f a national scientific c.spcnition to
lir.d trixes of plesiosaui ius. Wouldn't
it be terrible if they never did lind
him?
The story came from Cholila, which
you may be interested in knowing lies
Somewhere in the territory of Chubut.
Those names don't moan anything to
us.
The head writers and the lino ops
lo make some peculiar errors. Thus
we read: "Oldest Resident Is Dead;
Enlisted in American Army in 1950."
Bill Asheley was in town Wednes
day, ami broke his record. Bill calls
on us about twice a year, and for two
straight years hi arrival in the city
coincided" with Fome 'big event. He
rnnie in the citv the dav the Lackey
trial started; he was with us when
Evelyn Jlchlhaney got ner sentence;
he helped to lose our first golf ball,
and he dined with us the last time we
ate as a single man; he was with
us one day before the minister said
the -fntnl words, and he drormed in for
dinner the first time the pie wasn't up
to standard. All he did Wednesday
was to cuss the weather and tell how
good business is getting in the east
Bill was looking out of the window
and saw the sign on a billboard
"Twenty-four miles on a gallon." He
sniffed. "S'nothing,' he said. "Many's
the time I've had to go fifteen hundred
miles on a quart.
Joseph Pennell and every aesthete
ought to know who Joseph it de
clares: "You cannot have good art
... . . .j.i a.
and goou meraiure wiwuui uimn.
Wonder where Joe lives now?
TODAY'S BEST STORY.
(American Legion Weekly.)
The division was having maneuvers
for the benefit of visitors' day and
everything was being let loose at
once. A pretty girl was. eagerly
watching the performance when a
rifle volley crashed out. With a sur-
: .i e.Aom cha foil hnrk into the
arms of a young corporal who was
standing just Denina ner.
nAt T knr. vnni" rnrnon. she
Rasped, blushing. "I was frightened
by the rules.
"Quite all right," replied the cor
poral. Then he added hopefully,
"Let's go over and watch the heavy
art.llery for awhile.
"Who was the lucky chap at the
wedd'ng this morning?"
"The best man. 1 saw him kiss the
bride three times when the groom
wasn't looking. "
THE TOWN GOSSIP.
AS we have been
CAUTIONED against the
JOCULAR use of a
CERTAIN belief
WE will turn our
ATTENTION to Mormonism
OR whateveryacallit
TO play safe,
WHICH brings to mind
THIS tale of that popular hero,
R RICH AM Young.
FOR 'tis said that
THE aforesaid Drigham
ONCE had a lady
COME to see him,
AND she declared that
SHE had once leen
MARRIED to him.
AND that the child
AT hor side
WAS none other
THAN Brigham's son.
"WELL.'" said P.righam,
"I DON'T know,
BECAUSE, you see,
THE record were
BURNED recently. '
"HI T," said he,
"1 LL take the clvld."
AND he further
REMARKED. "What it is that
GIVES the child
SUCH a peculiarly
DEAD complexion?"
THE mother said
THAT she didn't know,
AND she left the child,
AND departed. '
BR1GHAM then turned
HIS new son I
OVER to the
NURSERY superintendent,
AND proceeded
TO forget the incident
UNTIL one day
THE superintendent
RUSHED in, wild-eytvl and
GASPED out that tlSey had
WASHED the child. 1
BR1GHAM again remarked,
"WELL, what of it?"
OR words to that effect.
"WHY," said the poop,
"THE paint came off and
THE child's an Indian."
THERE is no
MORAL to speak of
TO this story i
UNLESS it might bet
THAT Brigham
SHOULD have kept ,
HIS records in a
FIREPROOF safe.
I THANK you!
tt i ;t,n,l fihi-o tidv baskets
thp house clean, try one. Knein
rv 44
Wet wash calls received before
j.w will he returned by i p. m
m ihc fnr SI. Alliance Steam
T.niinrirv. 38-tl
"Seeds That Grow," are
popular because they do
Rhein's.
proving
produce.
44
HOW TO DO IT.
THE PEOPLE'S BOOK
(By lir.V. STEPHEN J. KPLER,
Parlor Christian Church. Alliance)
V.
2 Tim. 3-1G, Every Scripture in
spired of God is also profitable for
teaching, for reproof, for correction,
for instruction in righteousness: 17
that the man of God may be complete,
furnished completely unto every goon
work.
From the above statement of the
great A pottle to the Gentiles we can
readily understand the importance of
Bible study, also why so many people
have this book in their home.
"Pilgrim's Progress," "Quo Vndi,"
nnd many other books have leen trans
lated in many different languages and
rend by countless numtwrs, but the
Bible has leen translated into nearly
.00 languages and dialects and is read
by hundreds of thousands while other
great books are only realby hundreds.
lhere must have been a purpose in
this in the mind of the Great God who
is revealed in the Bible. This purpose
was to give man a true conception of
himself and alr-o of his liod.
The Bible reveals to man a true pic
ture of himself. When we write a
bioiTMphv of a friend, onlv the good
dualities are mentioned, but when God
pictures m:'n lie presents him as he is.
lience Abraham, Moses and David and
even the Apostles are pVturrd as men.
human beings. J his Book wm not
unit our weakness but presents us as
we a it. It helps us to take an inven
tory of self and when we find what is
lacking in the pefoet'on of character,
urws us to rm and purify our life.
It presents God as lie is, the Cre
ator and Ever-living Father. This God
i stem in his demands which he
makes of humanity. This was illus
trated in His attitude toward human
ity during the stage of infancy i.ml
childhood of the race. His kindness
anil love was ever manifested and
especially as revealed to us in the per
son of God our Lord and Savior.
The Bible is the compliment of God's
Great Book of Nature which is oon
and also may be read of all men. In
the mountains, the hills, the valleys,
in the livers, the lakes and on the sea,
in the trees, in the flowers nnd in the
grass, yes nnd in all nature may le
H'on the glory and the power of God.
This is also very noticeable in the
progress that humanity is making In
the advancement of civilization. The
one Book without the other would be
a loss of understanding.
The Bible is the Book for the living
nnd if it is good for the living wlrit
does it do for the dying? It brings
hope to the living nnd pence to the
dying. It presents our Savior who is
"Life" and "Peace."
Study it! Believe it! Practice its
teachings in dailv contact with others!
It i rightly named "Bible" or "The
Book."
A closing word from Wilbum 11.
Seward an American statesman i.-:
"The whole hope of human progress
is suspended on the ever grow in.; in
fluence of the Bible."
Have you seen those Pearl Knives
and the price.' at Rhein's. 41
Wet wa-sh calls received before
:30 will be returned by 2 p. in.
Vllx. for $1. Alliance Steam
Laundry. 38-tf
WHAT IT COSTS TO STOP
(Tibs and Nibs)
Twenty years ago one of the lcst
known names in national advertising
was James Pvle's Penrline. The ad-
ertising hnd run continuously since!
is ill. In 1!04 the appropriation for
that year amounted to ."i)0,00().no,
which was a great deal of money in
those days. In li'07, the concern hav
ing passed into the hands of an estate,
the trustees saw an opportunity by
which they could save many hundred
of dollars by cutting out advertising.
Penrline lost favor rapidly nnd in 1!14
tried to come back. Several hundred
thousand dollars were spent, which
amount would have made a consider
able dent on the market for a new pro
duct, but Penrline was not n new pro
duct. It was trying to come back
which was infinitely more difficult.
In l!ir. according to our informa
tion, Pennine was sold to a competi
tor for just the cost of the machinery
as junk, and the stock on hand as raw
material.
Another nationally known product
stopped advertising for one year nnd
it took from five to seven years to
regain the volume it lost.
A merchant can build up n splendid
business in his town if he will ndver
tise constantly, and it will continue
to grow as long as he advertises, llm
cannot afford, however, to stop ftdrer
tising, as the growing generation musk
be constantly kept informed no u to
obtain new customers; and th older
generation must be kept re miiwtaL It
is only the older generation who re
members Pearline. The young man
ond woman know nothing of it.
About IS per cent of our population
each year reaches the age of under
standing or purchasing ability. You
must gain the attention of these 18 pep
cent, obtain their good will, together
with retaining the business of the older
folks, or gradually disintegrate.
Advertising is the modern miracle
worker, but it must be done consistent
Iv and constantly. You cannot stop in
the middle of the stream and expect
to get across.
"Seeds That Grow,"
popular because ' they
P.hcin's.
are proving
do produce.
44
Wet wash caUs received before
8:30 will 1m? returned by 2 p. m
20 lbs. for $1. Alliance Steam
Laundry. 38-tC
If vou have wool to sell, see L.
K. Miss. 40-tt
Alarmists seemingly regard the
rising generation as n falling one.
DAN CI
iffltiiimmmtr
"A sixty-dollar hat?"
"Yes."
"My husband wouldn't buy me a six-tv-doilar
hat."
" "He would if you started to yell for
a grand piano." Louisville Courier-Journal.
There Arc Two Wa3rs of -
Cleaning and Pressing
ONE WAY IS ANYWAY TO GET IT DONE,
THE OTHER IS
KEEP-U-NEAT
PERSONAL SERVICE WAY
You will find your clothes wearing longer and looking
letter when you have them done the Keep-U-Neat Personal
Service way.
More Alliance people are realizing this fact every day.
ASK FOR FREE TICKETS ON THE
FORD CAR.
Keep-U-Neat Cleaners
SERVICE THAT SATISFIES
207 Box Butte Avenue Phone 133
at the
Gail Price Bare
ONE MILE NORTH OF ALLIANCE
DRIVE NORTH ON SWEETWATER
on
iiiiiii;iiiiiiiiiiiiim;iiiiiiiniiiiiiiniiiiiiitgmmm
Saturday, May 6
you will dance . ;
to good
JAZZ MUSIC ;
The proceeds of the dance will go toward
outfitting the Ash Grove Baseball Team.
We Want Everyone There
Glen Miller's Great Remodeling
Sale Of Furniture
Off ers Extraordinary Values
to Buyers for Cash
FROM 15 TO 20 REDUCTION
TITE NEED ROOM to work. Miller's furniture store will undergo some changes
V soon and we want space to work more than we want our stock of furniture or
a reasonable profit on it. Therefore we are going to reduce our stock on hand all
lines and we mean to make our prices so attractive you can't resist them. Come
to the store and see our
Convincing Cash Furniture Values
FOR THOSE WHO NEED FURNITURE NOW OR WILL NEED IT SOON.
Great Remodeling Sale Starts on Saturday Morning, April 29
REMEMBER IT IS THE CASH BUYER WHO PROFITS AT THIS SALE
TO THE STORE TO SEE THEM COME SOON.
BUY FOR LESS MONEY.
Rugs, Bed Room Suites, Dining
Room Furniture, Kitchen Cabinets,
Electric Washing Machines, Bed
Springs, Mattreses, etc., etc.,
REDUCTIONS IN EVERY LINE WILL GREET YOU. COME
GLEN MILLER
THIS SALE INCLUDES
Reductions on Dishes, Pictures,
Chairs, Davenports, Rockers, in fact
everything we carry for making the
home pleasant and comfortable.
