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THE ALLIANCE HERALD, FRIDAY, MARCH 17, 1922.
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Random Shots
w)twtwtmtmwtmtHtMtwwttnmttiiMitimttwtitttG?
If. n. Alter ip pon -ililp for this
i.no: He. too, wus in tho r.-.ovio 1"T,
tbc crowd lirjran to pour toward the
doors. There wa n't nny pjreat amount
of excitement on his jiait, or that o.'
other grownups, hut two little prirls,
who were in hack of him, were fidget
Mm li'in,l One of them
Fpoke up: "I don't see why they don't
let trie chiiuren oui urs-i.
The Herald's cub reporter wan just
Imperial aisle when
the l'jrhts went out. A second later
i... .....r im rtftprte fl:ri of the flames
in the operating booth. A second later
lie heard a voice call rtGet out!" He
was telling the shop his experiences.
"The fellow wasn't standing any
where neur me," he said, "but some
how, f knew 1 was the one he was
tiilkinpr to."
After the excitement had died down,
somewhat, a feminine voice called J
Harry DuBuque to, the phone. "Will)
there be a second show?" the voice
npked. "Not this even ni," said Harry.1
"Will we see 'Mother O' Mine' tomor
row?" asked the voice. "I'm sorry tO(
say,'said Harry, with genuine emo-
tion to his voice, thinking of the nine
reels that had gone up in smoke, "I'm
norry to say that 'Mother 0' Mine is
no more."
NOT TfHSSEASON
Hoc "So you ve taken up Rolf ?"
Friend "Yes, I knock 'em about a
bit."
Hoc "What do you go around in?"
Friend "Oh, just my rejrular
clothes."
One of the tragedies of life is to be
invited to eat up a dinner prepared
' a hen narty, and to .suddenly recall
tnat me am won i iei you enjoy n
TWENTY YEARS HENCE.
Little Wilbur, to papa: "Father,
what was a bock beer sign 7"
1 v
"If a man had put a hundred dollars
in a pavings bank twenty years ago,"
Kaid the statistician after dinner, "it
would amount to over two hundred dol
lars now, and he could buy almost as
much for it now ns he could have got
for the original hundred at the time
lie began to save."
MOTHER JUICE
(American Legion Weekly)
Sing a song of sitpence,
A pocket full of needless raisins,
And let your conscience be your guide.
One of those fool little items that
jro the rounds you know, the two or
three-liners that are used to fill up the
tag-ends of the columns says that
many Arabian ladies spend as much as,
$500 to $1000 a year on perfume.?. I
'! If tnovie impressions of the harems
' are any good, that's about all they
; wear, and they're entitled to some sort
of a clothing allowance. ,
Ole Buck, however, will probably in
sinuate that the great perfume ex
pense is due to the fact that water is
quite scarce in Arabia, and kinsequont
ly bathing but let him say it if he
tlares.
REMEMBER WHEN?
Sons of democrats used to recite
those stirring lines, always the signal
for a fight:
Bryan rides a white horse;
McKinley rides a mule.
Bryan is a wise man;
McKinley is a fool.
Jimmy Maxfield indignantly denies
the charge that he's ilieting. He isn't
even thinking of it. "Of course," says
Jimmy, "1 would if I were at all over
weight" The Rev. Steve Epler is another man
who has absolutely ' no ambition to
get thin.
THERE ISN0 DEATH 1
An exchange comments: People
have cuit dying now; they merely cash
in, cross ov?r, go to their reward, pass
on, join the vast majority, sink to rest,
go home, climb the golden stairs, sing
i heir swan son, sound taps, vamoose,
libsquatulate, bite the dust, shuffle off
this moral coil, cross the great divide,
.1rnlr hit'll llnhl nn bra filltn mvD lin
III III I IIU.IVIH II'FU. Mi. Mtab', ,.1... - , '
the gho't, wink out, take a irst, ride
..- i-.- l. l. . 1. . I 1 ..
Uie Willi'.' liorsr, vuriiMi, lane uu:
lonesome trail, sleep wilh their fath
ers, go to the happy hunting grounds.
find JSirvana, dip tneir pad' ue in me
Kiver Ftyx, wander down the Valley
of the Shadows, exit to Valhalla or
ll- Vs In of Avnlon. so lonir! in short.
do everything but die.
The office devil, who has time and
again declared himself to be a Woman
IlUlCT, litis VU-lliram ,tniM i
oral lilting lve ballads, ami tho whole
force is keeping all eyes 0en. i nis
morning he wore a new necktie. W hen
nr i rv ' p f
terns his hair down, we shall know
that Another ooou man nas uone
Wrong.
However, if there's any time that
advice is futile, this is it.
Odds are leing offered, two to one,1.
that ishe is a jjionne.
Sarnv reports progress, thereby get
ting out from under the suspicion
that he's a back-slider.
There's no joy in the world quite
equal to that of nding the trousers
over to Brad to have another four
inches deleted from the waistband.
The Printer with the Tompadour
had a haircut yesterday, but the shop
refuses to believe it until he gets a
certificate irom me Darrer.
Besides this, they are the envy of all
the dieters and others who take their
exercise on the side-lines.
The Village Queen is leaving the city
over the week-end for a few days' stay
in The Metropolis, and her friends lire
wondering whether, on her return, she
will be wearing the rep-topped Russian
boots, which were once-mail-ordered,
but were changed to pink T. B.'s.
TODAY'S HOOCH STORY'.
(The Gordon Journal. 1
Little Willie had been reading an old
but popular story that quite thrilled
him, so as he said his prayers and had
,.,,rt,,l "Hiio na thia lnv nur flailv
l ll Ill V t V. I ' - ' ..... - . - -
' Vita mini I vi-nt h.irk to th (lavs
of Captain 'Kidd and he added, "Yo ho,
. . ... . I T . .
and a oouie oi rum. ne muhicu
back to consciousness when daddy
added a fervent "Amen."
The rector of St. Paul's church at
t.-ii DnnMi Minn ia nn n (strike. He
IjIIV lhdiiu !.., t
refuses to preach for a congregation-
... r I a.: rl'l
whirh comes oui ior a goHi um. me
r.Ulnt iUm In hta rnmnlaint in that the
young people in the congregation use
the hymn-booKs to conceal me noium
of hands. Also, the male members of
his congregation play horseshoes just
outside the edifice, and two or three
times he has had to postpone beginninp
his service until a maun wu iimnneu.
Some day the college stars will note
h rliffprpnce between the world of
football and the world as football.
LAKESIDE.
Mr.. Jess Coleles.-r and daughter,
Iti.th, of Rushville, who visited Mr.
r,nd Mrs. Jack Craven here a few days
lirst wek were we.-t bound passengers
Saturday.
Harvey Whaley went to Mullen Sat
urday and drove a truck back Sunday
l"r C. M. rsameby.
Donald Goodrich is on the sick list
at the time of this writing.
Mr. and Mrs. Clarence Leishman and
children attended church here Sunday
and drove on out to the Ralph Shrews
bury home northeast of town for a
visit.
Dick McConaughey foreman of the
VanAMine ranch, was in town on busi
ness Sunday.
Milo Rose, who is working on the
Leishman ranch, visited friends here
Sunday.
E. J. Nelson of the Star ranch was
in town after freight for the ranch
Sunday.
Mr. Buckley went to Bingham' the
latter part of the week on bu.-iness,
Mr. and Mrs. Franx DeFrance cn
tentained a number of their friends at
a card party at their ranch home south
of town Friday night. The guests
were Mr. and Mrs. F. A. McGinnis, 1
Mr. and Mrs. George Lindley, Bruce
Huisaker, and Mrs. Beryl Reynolds,
Mr. and Mrs. George Hunsaker, Mr.,
and Mrs. Jesse Wilson, Mr. and Mrs.
Leo Berry, Mr., and Mrs. Roy Wilson,
E. B. Jameson, Mr. and Mrs. O. E.
Black, Mr. and Mrs. J. H. Herman, Mr. I
and Mrs. Sid Irwin, Mr. and Mrs.
Achie Phillips, the Misses Johnson,
Mote and Schill. First prize was won ,
by Mrs. Beryl Reynolds and Ar
chie Phillips, Mrs. O. E. Black and Mr.
Jesse Wilson won the consolation prize.
A delicious lunch was served consisting
of chicken sandwiches, pickles, cotfee,
Eskimo pie and three kinds of cake.
J. H. Graybill stepped on a spike
while working at the oil well Sunday,
running it through his foot.
The eldest child of Mr. and Mrs. Rov
Stoop, who live near the Star ranch,
is reported to be very sick. Dr. Moore
of Antioch was called out to attend
her.
When the cow lell rings in the mod
em jazz orchestra it's u wonder the
calves don't bawl.
Secretary Weeks has forbidden army
stunt flying. One more joy fades from
military life.
Once upon a time, in the old-fashioned
days, the woman who usexl pow
der tried to keep it dark.
Poetic justice is done when a woman
who thinks she knows it all marries a
man who thinks he is pretty.
Trotzky's trouble with Karelia re
minds you of the old song "Bedelia"
that had something in it about "steal
you."
r- czt fn oMonH the iWion's boxing
show Saturday night. Those bantams
. it 1 iL
sure pacR a lusty wauop in uum
HARPER'S-
A telegraph messenger has been ar
rested for speeding, but po far no
plumber ha3 thus smudged his record.
Florsheim Shoe Sale
Twice a year we offer this unusual
opportunity placing on sale our
stock of the season; all styles all
leathers at a big reduction
Florsheim Shoes
All new" Spring Styles have arrived.
$998
Smashing All Previous Value-Giving Records With a
Sale of 100 Trimmed
HAT
$498
Real Up-to-$7.30 and $8.30
Values at a Price that Would
Not Cover Cost of Making.
You must see these entranc
ing models to fully appreciate
what a startling under-price
offer this is.
BE HERE EARLY.
Every new and wanted
style, shape, color, material
and trimming. None worth
less than double this extreme
ly low price.
BE HERE EARLY.
v -
lU1l!rtamcrgPcpt.tore
dir. CTOD F I TVAf'lrT'r"frr' ff if-LUT"
I
iri"i'iT i
No Store in the Country Can Equal These Values in Women's
Spring Low Cuts and Dress Shoes
$8.00 and $9.00 Values at the Sale Trice, Tair
STYLES
Jazz Oxfords,
Sally Tumps,
1 and 2-Strap
rumps. Plain
Turn pa. Lace
Oxfords
M98.
MATERIALS
Kid. Calf,
Suede, Satin,
Tatent Kid.
The season's smartest styles with Louis, baby Louis, Cuban, military or low heels, Good
year welt and hand-turned soles; fashon favored spring colors.
CHILDREN'S $4.50 SHOES
MEN'S $6 & $7 DRESS SHOES
Every wanted style and shape in kid and
calf leathers. Brown, tan or black.
Goodyear welt soles, all sizes. $6.00
and $6.00 and $7.00 values; our price,
pair
$4.50
Of excellent quality kid and patent leather,
in black, brown and two-tone. Lace or
button style. Hand-turned oak leather
soles and wedge heels. Sizes 1 to 8.
$4.50 values ; our price, pair
$2.50
Men 's, Young Men's Boys 9
Suits For Springtime
Hundreds of new models have been added to our already gen
erous assortments. Only after a visit to our Men's Shop will you
fully appreciate the choice selection and the moderate pricings.
New models, new cuts, new fabricsof a quality that assures satisfaction.
'Men's and Young Men's
Suits $30$50
Checks, pencil stripes, ser
ges, tweeds, single and
double breasted models;
correct in tailoring and fit,
each distinctly 1922 model.
BIO STORE BOSSaiH&mS
Boys' Suits
$10 $12
Sturdy suits in attractive
brown and green tweeds
and brown checks in smart
Norfolk styles, each with 2
pair knickerbocker trousers.
3SS
Hill 74(zrc& i QC jOj H
BB bio store .sswiansknsna I
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