11
THE ALLIANCE HERALD, FMDAY. NOVEMBER I. 1921
Celebrate Arnii
Day
You'll want to See This Masterful Production on November 1 1
"THE GREAT REDEMER"
A METRO PICTURES CORPORA
TION SUPER-FILM
A Wonderful Cast Including
HOUSE PETERS and Marjorie Daw
The American Legion Committee
has witnessed the screening of this
story and pronounce it:
"A MASTER MOVIE"
GIVEN UNDER THE AUSPICES OF
THE AMERICAN LEGION
ADMISSION: The price of a ticket
is .'Oc and War Tax. linn" ALL
the family: we feel sure you'll say:
'IT'S WORTH THE MONEY'
J
RANDOM SHOTS
1
A baby was born to a Nebraska City
family not long -ago and the I'roud
Mother has confided to a neighbor that
it was a planned bnby. In which,
opines Hyde Sweet, perhaps it differs
from several million other babies that
have come into the world.
i
Three times in our life someone has
made away with our hat, and in only
-one case was the hat that was left for
us as pood as our own. The last time
it was newer and romewhat brighter.
Ve were immensely pleased for ten
minutes after we reached home, when
the phone rang. Our old hat had our
initials in it.
We immediately removed them, of
course, but opportunity seldom kn.-cks
twice at the same door.
The SeottsblufT Star-Herald men
tions the fact that in that town, at
least, there is none of that "village
cut-up tuff," none of those "bucolic"
or "boorish" comments there.
ScoUd)luff is a real city, all right.
Ever "entertained" there? Plenty of
hospitality sure but carry a lunch
in your pocket, or the price of a meal
unless you like ham sandwiches
Avas-hed down with water.
They have Hemingford beat, at that
'Nobody objects If you smoke, provided
you furnish your own cigars.
Ju.-t the minute we heard that the
deputy sheriff and other minions of
the law were driving through the lone
ly sandhills with a dray load of con
fiscated booze, we hurriedly called our
our private branch of the Klan, but
they pot lost on the road and the dray
reached town safely.
The report got out that it wasn't
moonth:ne, but a part of the stock
stolen from an interstate freight ship
ment a few-years ago. when there was
still good liquor in the land. For a
moment it seemed that the meeting
might break up in haste anL disorder,
but the moment the name of the man
ufacturer was known, all hope died.
(Some of these days, there'll be an
other lucky accident, and one or two
more of these undesirable citizens will
find that the officers have the goods
on them. It's a long time to wait, nut
it's more or less pleasant when the
"'watchful waiting" ends. Nobody is
lucky enough to "get by" forever, and
one by one they'll pet theirs.
A FABLE FOR THE FAIR
Old King Ninus of Rabylon was a
pood picker, and when he picked him
self a (Ueen from over in Ascalon,
the hill country, he selected a Lulu.
The courtiers nudged one another, and
agreed that she was a swell dish. And
peace reigned in Babylon.
But ."non her majestv grew weary
of the flat and barren plains of Baby
lon. Her memory rose up to smite
her, and she was athirst for hills and
greenerv. She lifted up her voice and
wept. And when she wept, she was
a mess. Yea, verily! And peace was
gone in Babylon.
So old Ninus, good husband, wouldst
build a hill, and he didst. The horses
grunted, the gears stripped and the
union leaders made sjeeches, but the
hill riz up in the desert, and was an
hundred cubits this way, more the
other way, and twice that in height.
Trees were transplanted, fountain
played, the birds warbled. And thus
came about the "Hanging Garden of
Babylon," one of the ancient wonders.
Was the queen pleased? Yea,
greatly, and clapped her hands and
climbed all day. And arain the sec
ond day. But her delight dwindled,
and her approval slumped to contempt,
anil the hill, said she, was a mere fake.
And soon she took up her tooth brush
and left the country forever, and re
turned to the hills. And thus was the
king rewarded.
Of course, this sort of a tale must
carry a moral. The fellow who wrote
it used it as an argument to his sales
men to be contented, and not keep
howling for better conditions, new
lines, better terms and concessions at
every turn of the road. But you, dear
reader, can use it in denying your wife
something she wants.
The best story of this kind that was
ever told concerned Fonie ancient
queen, who wanted the fine.-t raiment
ever designed. She got it. She then
warned the grandest equipage, the
tallest footmen, the whitest horses.
And she got them. We always give
our queens all they want, if it's hu
manly possible. Then she asked that
it parade liefore her, anil when it
passed she burst into tears. The king
was worried. He asked her if she had
ever seen a finer chariot, more hand
some footmen and more beautiful
horses. "No," she sobbed, "it isn't
that. It's all that I could have wished.
I'm weeping because I may not sit in
the great amphitheatre and see myself
ride by."
At eight o'clock he had a drink:
At nine o'clock the world was pink
At ten o'clock the blow did fall
The whisky was wood alcohol.
But to turn to a serious subject.
There is one man in Alliance who will
; never more trifle with those "put and
tane tops, ine gang named up on
, him, and for two terrible days he im-
himi and that he would have to face
Judge Tash on a charge of gambling.
As everybody knows, there is but
one fine for gambling these days the
maximum. If the case comes up in
county court that's one hundred dol
lars and costs.
THE CAT!
Two women were meeting for the
first time in several months.
"Why," gushed the first, who had
in the past been on not too cordial
terms with the other, "I never thought
ou would recognize me it's been so
long since we met."
"My dear," replied the other, "I had
no difficulty whatever. I remember
the hat distinctly."
Yirginia had a little quart
Of cider, hard as steel,
And everywhere she went, 'twas
sport
To watch Virginia reel.
i
Darn those Hallowe'en kids. Now
we'll have to wash the window again.
If they hadn't visited us, we'd have
got through another winter.
Two or three Alliance merchants
still have placards in their windows
advertising that tickets for the free
Ford car will be passed out therein.
THE PASSING SHOW
"This is the best salad I ever
tasted. Won-'t you give me the recipe
for the dressing?"
"Who was the blanket y-blank -blank
who gave me away? I'll bet it was
that guy whose best friend I've been
for years.
Celerity, explains the Boy Scout, is
what one lets go of a bumble bee with.
Drs. Jeffrey & Smith have
moved their office to the Norton
block, over Harper's Dept. Store.
Room No. 2. 97-98
meet all competi
tion on apples, honey,
flour, meal and feed. W. E.
Cults. 97-98
LONG LIVED CLOCK. ,
The life of a clock is much longer
than that of any other machinery. The
city of Rouen has a great clock, built
in the year 1389 and still keeping
good time. Except for cleaning and a
tew necessary repairs it has never
stopped during a period of more than
fire centuries. It strikes the hours
and chimes the quarters.
HE COULDN'T. STAND THAT
"Remember Job he was the most
patient man ever lived."
"Yes, but don't forget one thing."
"What is that?"
"He never had to ride ten miles on a
flat tire with a quarrelsome wife."
f
tttJ
A Bank Account
Is Your Best
Protection
A
Seven-Jewel
Twenty-year Gold Filled
Case
WRIST WATCH
for
$5.00
.See them in our window.
Holsten's
As you go on through life you will find I
no stauncher friend than your bank account, f
its tried ana true ana never fails you. a
v v vv wj. ui viii wo v lVJ. I JfVUj Ol 1VJ LULi J
the doctor come to your home, should a busi-. j
ness opportunity arise you can always fall j
back on your bank account.
A dollar will start an account why wait?
Many of your neighbors deposit with us
weekly, why not YOU?
We Pay 5 Interest on Time Deposits f
First National Bank
Alliance, Nebraska
Pierce & Jenkins of
Hemingford Arc in
Market for Spuds
We are nrenared to huv nnd re
ceive potatoes at Uerea, two collars,
and will rontrnrt for the 'r' m.
tire output of Triumphs. VVe also buy
t ; . ..-tt ...mi i . i
.ilin: WclK1'" ?1 Will LMU m
thorn, either field run or sorted, but
prefer them sorted.
Prefer seed Triumphs and Cobblers
only to the 15th; after that we may
be prepared to handle other varieties.
e pay the highest price the market
lllvfifiiw nnl ivill nntluof f.it 1 Ini.t m
Iwr, January or February delivery at
higher prices.
llarry 11. Tierce will be in charge
of the warehouses and will be at
Hriea from 8 a. m. to fi p. m. each
day. Take sample of potatoes if you
desire a bid on them.
PIEKCK & JENKINS.
OS Advertisement.
The only thing that we can think of road right-of-way is nn American
that's ns worthless as a Russian rail- corkscrew.
meet all competi
tion on apples, honey,
flour, meal and feed. W.E.
Cutts. 97-98
REFINED ANXIETIES.
"You say firearms have been barred
from Crimson Gulch."
"Vps" vpn!ip.l r.-.Hiia Jno "Tliov
make us nervous."
"The boys didn't use to be afraid
of a few bullets."
"They're not afraid of bullets; but
every time a gun was fired everybody
went into a panic, thinkin' mebbe ore
of his tires had exploded."
Saloon passenger is a phrase of the
transatlantic world that has now taken
on an even greater accuracy.
Announcement
As this will be our last week in the Grocery
business, we wish to thank the people of Alli
ance and surrounding territory for the very
liberal patronage they have given us. We
shall always remember the pleasant dealings
we have had together. In behalf of the new
proprietors, Virgil Lchr and W. 0. Packard,
who expect to carry on the business in the
same way, we solicit your co-operation and
feel sure you will be pleased with their serv
ices. Thanking you again for past favors,
we are, respectfully,
H. HIRST, Proprietor.
Fourth Street Market
O
aaies
Seits
00
Can you wear a size 16, 18 or 38? Here is a Real Bar
gain for you. Suits, values $45 to $75, while they last, at
$25.00
lorace Boeue
Store