THE ALLIANCE HERALD, TUESDAY, AUGUST 16. 1921.
THREE
KAN DOM SHOTS
Within a week after the conductor
of this column intimated that the
Heminpford Ledger was immune from
co!yunmis, it nas started a department
that if this is an actual happening,
it's a record all our own.
Anyway, Alliance ain't proud.
Umpires Durk and Schnablc.
The visitors threw many bouquets at
Messrs Ruik and Schnable because of
the escellent work they did as um-
lii re j
of tl,tt c cIm iL- a ,1 ........ : il. :.. u., it
labeled "Short Stops," which is proof '"5? individual was stamlinp: in fiont the day's program. About fifty cou
rositive that even .trone men cannot of n lr' Roods More, looking at the pies participated nnd the PeMolay
escape epidemics. i window display. He turned around visitor. were given the place of honor.
i nriti kiwi rpn v in jin a mnrp mn n i- vrci onr miuir u na nit-n vnpi in iiie
who was waiting for a bootlegger:
"lh0!-e white shoes and perforated un
derwear," he remarked, waving his
hand toward the window, "thev're to-
ing to have to drag 'em in some of
tnese uays.
However, after reading Editor
Vance's solemn conclusion that the
Hay Springs mystery must be a gray
Avhale, we are inclined to th'nk that a
column written by him will be inter
esting reading. More power to his
elbow.
Incidentally, this is an official tip to
Sheriff Miller to look out for illicit
.stills. The finding of a gray whale
in an alkaline lake reminds us very
-strongly of the old days when strong
men u.-ed to see pink antelopes with
lurple spots perched on their bedposts.
A bootlegger that will sell that sort
of stuff is no gentleman, that's all we
can say.
Do you remember, five or six years
3igo, about the famous tire lizards that
'Tom Majors discovered down near
Peru? Thev used to live on automo
bile tires, and would eat them l ight off
the car. They liked Ford tires better
than others one of the them made a
:jiice meal.
Wasn't it L. C. T. vyho first con
ceived the idea that bootleggers were
training the sandhill cranes to assist
them in plying their nefarious traffic?
Our own opinion is that this lake
nonster is a hellydid, and that it
.comes from the River of Doubt-
occasion bv a four piece orchestra,
comprising Frankl. n lenl, v alter;
Burk, Christy Melville and Mel Ather
tcn. The guests were loud in their
hi-nlcAa nf !! rntinfnt nrrorded
them by the local order and expressed j
a wish that they soon meet again.
Some of the visitors departed for Alli
ance on I'o. 41 Wednesday night, while
other j waited over for the morning
tta;n.
See the School Dresses shown
for $1.29, at
Highland-HoIIoway Co.
Alliance DeMolay Team
Koyally hntertained
by Broken Bow Boys
TM- - 1 t a 1 .
of the Alliance chapter of DeMolay, t to the full extent of the law. 74-82p
.1 i. i i a. r i r iv. 1 i t f rrw o
NOTICKl
No trespassing will be permitted on
the following described property:
South half of section 34, township 2.i
north, range 4.", west of the sixth P.
t nil In Rnv Tlntttt rnuntv. KchrAS-
ka. All trespassers will be prosecuted
Si Smart says: "Women are like
automobiles some of them are
.chummy roadsters, and others are
merely runabouts:"
Old Story.
"I've a terrible toothache and want
something to cure it," said the man
with the pink shirt.
"Vm, .lnn't tippA' anv medicine, de
clared his friend. "I had one the other
day and my wife kissed me and con-
..U.l ma until it WPtlt entirely away
UICU 111- V v -
"Whv don't you try getting ridof it
that way?" ' A .,
"That's a good idea. Is your wife
at home 7
TV-lav Rpst Storv.
This latest story has jut leaked out
on Dr. Slagle while on his trip across
the Atlantic to the international nov
.nniwntlnn. A certain lady ap
peared very curious, she would stroll
the deck for hours at a.time and about
ks fvth iiv out-the tloctor noticed
LUC ...... . - .
her actions and approached -her ana
inqu'red what she was looking for, and
he replied that it was her life's desire
to see a whale.
"But, madam," the doctor asked her
v.,ti imnutioiitlv. "whv are vou so
.mi" f too n whnli?
"You know," ?he replied kindly, "my
desire in life is to tee, a wnaie uiuu
ter, It must be very impressive jtp
-WatCll UCn an eiiuimuu.7 uvi... "i
The Lincoln Star tells the remark,
vi- on nrrpil woman, an in-
valid for years, who regained- health,
strength and "courage by tending a
flock of. poultry. Only six years of
the treatment were needed to restore
her health. Shucks! There are
men who need only the sight of a
chicken to work all these wonders I
Tejuvenation. and in less than ten min
utes, at that.
The Passing Show
"My dear, she's a perfect cat. Why,
you were hardly out of sight before
he " .
"It's a splendid movie. I saw it out
an California the winter before la?t."
"Just let it turn cold for t-n hour
and it will frost tonight, as are as
fate." ,
"No, we haven't got a Chancellor
in the house. We ordered five thou
sand of them over a week ago md
non-lit tn hp. here bv mormng.
sure. Ever try one of these CVomgo
Puros? ' , . .
"I got this black eye by be;ng
thrown against the top of the or."
hem! nf him until the very
last hole, when I made one bud shot
and it lost me the matcn.
"Tiiev KopApA a Sontr Bird in Ilea
ven, So God Took Caruo Away."
Latest song hit on itie ic.
We. wpvpn't referrinir to Al's optic
lie really got his discoloration that
way. He s got witnesses, too.
Wnmnn fliscussintT a f l ien i s new
period furniture: "It has Queen Anne
legs, oil right but I thintc mey aie
King George -feet.
Judge Ta.-h was tel'ing alout the
double disaster tne oinnr eici .iv,
when both A. S. Mote nl Tom Mis-
into th-? same
litch. "Reminds me of the story or
the two drunks," the ju lee said. "One
of them was lying in the Uer. too
noviirstp. Trie other
i 'Weln tne out. O'a
niao.ia.i the man in the irutter
'Can't do it. ol' man, replied the
other. 'I'm too far cone to help you,
but tell you what Ul tio i u iay ua
with you.
TUie is vnurhpil for as a true story,
i Hi' ' - ' , .
V... mct tnn crnoil to be true. A
. f V. a nl.lon Pill
woman came mi" V.V....I.. .
tstore ine omci ... -
pair of plain kid oxfords. She had
mther an odd-shaped hoof, and the
talesman was unable to get a pair
that would fit it to her satisfaction.
'Madam," the clerk said respectfully,
'would vou like to look at the e sport
oxfords?" The woman roe with of
fended dignitv. "Sir," she said,
freezinglv, "I'll have you to under
stand that I am not that sort of a
woman. Ana oui .-ne v-uir-u.
Still, vou can believe almost any
thine after thot story of the sand
h.irhplor thirty-five years out wh
IihiI rover seen a woman in his life
his whole life.
But a woman who don't know all
about the styles all we gotta say 1
which played at Broken Bow last Wed
nesday, were loyally entertained in
that city, despite the fact that they
were defeated in baseball. The Custer
fViuntv Chief trivpa tho fnllowinir ac
count of the day's casualties and fes
tivities:
The Broken Bow DeMolay base ball i
tnnm .(PtoitPil thf A linnCP DP.llO AV
team Wednesday at the Haeberle ball
park by the score ot 16 to i. a crown
of 300 dyed in the wool base ball fans
witnessed the eame'as "the '"store
closed for two hours. The game start
ed riirht on the dot of 4 and was over
by six, the boys playinsr a good fast
article of base ball. Broken Bow
started out as if they would slaughtei
the Alliance boys, scoring four runs
in ttio first inninir nnd hittino" the ball
hard, which with errors on the Alli
ance boys part gave the locals a good
lead, but the Alliance boys crept up
from behind and -cave the locals a
scare in the last few innings. Smith
did the hurling lor uroKen uow wnn
Scott on the receiving end and they
got along good, while Garvin was on
the mound for the Alliance boys with
Butler receiving nis sianis. uarvin oi
Alliance made the only home run for
the game. The Alliance second base
man, Edwards; put Up the best game
of ball seen here for some time and
has the makings of a real ball player.
One of the odd happenings of the
game was the fact that Smith batted
five times and every time up he hit
to the second baseman who threw him
out at first each time. A return game
has been arranged between the locals
and Alliance to be played at Alliance
the -last of the month.. The Alliance
"boys had to use a few substitute a3
Pome 'of their regular.' could not get
away for the game. Besides the re
gular players who were in the game
the following boys accompanied their
team but were not used in the game:
Rehder, Romiger, Gavin and Cross.
C. G. REEDES.
The line up:
Alliance
Garvin, p. -Cross,
ss
Pu'. c. '
Edwards, 2b.
Jones, lb
Irwin. 3b
Joder, If
Grassman, rf.
Aiiionro finn inn ?.nn t
Broken Bow"420 250 lOx 13
lotteries Alliance: uarvin and
Butler. Broken Bow: F. Smtih and
Scott and Gardner.
Scorekeeper: L. J. Haeberle.
Everyone
FlroKen Bow
I. Gardner, ss-c.
Hogg, 2b. '
Scott, c-'ef.
Real, lb
W. Gardiner, cf
Neth, cf
Welsh, If
Smith, p- ;
Varm?v, 3b-FS. 1
H. Haeberle, 3b
Whitman, rf.
IMPERIAL
TONIGHT
BILUE BURKE
IX-
"THE EDUCATION
OF ELIZABETH"
. COMEDY
"THE WHIZ BANG"
WEDNESDAY, 17th
"THE FLAME OF
HELLGATE"
Robertson-Cole Special
COMEDY
YOU'LL BE SURPRISED
ADDED ATTRACTION
BARTON & EDWARDS
Alliance Girls
DANCING
Admission, 10 and 30c.
THURSDAY, 18 th
METRO SPECIAL
'CLOTHES'
COMEDY
LARRY SEMON, in
"SCHOOL DAYS"
Admission, 10 and 30c
mm riiii
mm
should snend at least one vacation
in "The Land of Wonders-Yellowstone
Park and see sights and
scenes the like of which do not exist
elsewhere.
Briefly, the attractions are an
incomparable climate, wild ani
mals of numerous species living
their natural life (Yellowstone is
the largest wild game preserve in
the world); magnificent forests;
wild flowers of brilliant hues, in
great variety and profusion;
lakes, rivers, waterfalls (the
Great Fall is almost twice as high
as Niagara) innumerable rivers
and creeks; geysers, mud volca
noes, hot and mineral springs, ex
quisitely colored pools; mountains
and canyons; wonderful hotels,
permanent "comfy" camps, an au
tomobile ride that has no counter
part in all the world the Cody
Road, which has been called "the
most wonderful ninety miles in
America."
Why not go this year? Take the family!
Decide when, then let me take your reser
vations so you will be sure of accommoda
tions. H. L. ORMSBY,
TICKET AGENT
1 .
ft 3
i
1
A -.f .f.' ..'.( HH"C - -'. -v
ft . ie-: . m. ! v . ',t;. ;
the
Class Koom, IMatte Valley Commercial CoIlcRe.
There's a Place in
Business World for You
Good salaries, pleasant work, and unusual chances i for advancement
await the graduates of this business school. ;
Trained young people are always in demand and the recommendation
of this well-known school will make you welcome wherever our name is
known. 1
. In preparing for work as banker, bookkeeper, accountant, typist, sec
retary or salesman you should assure yourself that you are getting the.
most practical and useful instruction. Our special individual plan of in
struction has always proven successful. ' 1 -
Your class-work also' in this institution will be the equivalent of years
of actual, office experience, because we plan your lessons so that they follow
actual modern business practice in every particular. "
We want to help you to GET AHEAD IN BUSINESS. We want you
to know more about how we can help you.. Then," it is; your duty to call or
write for information.
Platte Valley Commercial-
fl! All A(Y M. J. EDWARDfC A.-1
V(VIlyJlV M. Accts. President.
"The School That's Making ScoitstM Famous." : ;
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SCOTTSRLUFF,
NEBRASKA
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