err.
TUP AT.T.TA KCV. OTTO A T XI TT TP?n A.V. .. JJI2J H ,
Tri-Slatc Institute
of Epwortli League
V At Crawford Aug. 1-7
The Methodist young people' "o
cieticA of western Nebraska, Wyom
intr and South Dakota, will come to
gether at Crawford this Fummer, from
the first to the feventh of August, for
a great young people's institute in
which there will he recreation, pro
grams, ntudy classes, and a general
jrood time and out in a:. The leaders of
this institute have been fortunate in
securing a program a strong a can
le found anywhere in the United
States.
A glance at the personnel of the
faculty will show its character. Bishop
Ktuntx will speak each tiny. Chancel
lor Schreckengast of the Wesleyan uni
versity will conduct a class in Chris
tian citizenship; Miss Marie Hanson of
the Kansas City training school wi''
conduct a class: Dr. W. E. J. Gratz
formerly of St. Paul's church, Lincoln
now in the Life Service department of
the Epworth League, will be one of the
speakers, and Miss Miller will be di
tector of religious education.
There will be daily classes in Bible
study by Dr. Hess of North Tlatte.
evangelism by Dr. Fintel of Scott.4!uft
and missions by Rev. Kendall of Bay
ard. Dean McProud of the Wesleyan
will have charge of the recreational
activities.
The expenses will be about as fol-
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The institute will be held in the
beautiful park in Crawford. The young
people will have a delightful time With
the opportunities of tennis, baseball,
bathing and other recreations. While
the work Is sponsored by the Methodist
young people ' onfn on .lua'
terms to young people of any religious
denomination who care to go.
SUCCESSI
Commencement time has come and
with it, of course, the baccalaureate
sermon. The president faces the senior
class, sturdy of mien in their bone-rim
glasses. He clears his throat in a pres
idential manner. .
"Gentlemen," says President Wum
pus, "we have come to the parting of
the ways. You are standing on the
threshold of life. The -world is be
fore you. Each of you will peek suc
ess and I fhall impart the secret of
s capture. It is work, work, WORK!
Of the varied tasks that confront you
ill, nothing but perppiring brows and
nental toil can make for their achieve
ment . . . (and so for for three thou
sand words, and then) . But re
mem!er, the message of the day is
WORK." . . ,
The senior class has listened and is
impressed. It ought to be. Here's
what the boys are going to dos
Six of them are going to paint china.
One hundred and three will write
plays.
Four are going in for Socialism.
Nine have started studying Baede
ker. Two will design art titles for the
movies.
One will be a professional perfume
smeller.
Twelve will enter the crap-shooting
industry equipped with loaded dice.
Four will operate pop-corn conces
sions at summer parks.
Three will take a canoe trip up the
Amazon.
One will become business agent of a
plumbers' union.
Two hundred and nine will write
short stories, novels and scenarios.
Twenty-one will go to Greenwich
Village.
Three will chase butterflies.
Four will be designers of women's
hats.
One will become social secretary to
an Arkansas congressman.
Forty-one will start immediately for
Europe.
Seven will enter advertising and
picture-puzzle contests.
And two of them will go to work.
Neal R. O'Hara in Life.
Anyway, it has been shown that
transcontinental airplane mail can beat
anything that has been provided by
other means of transportation. Letters
mailed at Los Angeles were delivered
in New York in two days. They came
all the way by air except from Omaha
to Chicago.
At the University of Illinois a girls'
society has banned cigarette smoking
boys, and the boys have retaliated by
banning girls who use rouge, wear
low necks or short skirts, pull eye
brows, or dance the shimmy. It looks
like a breaking of dfplomatic relations
between the sexes.
Switzerland has very few motion
picture theatres, says a news item.
They get their pictures first hand,
over there.
Say "yes" when they ask you to buy
a ticket to the Campfire Girls' benefit
dance.
Reunited by Smith's
Spite Fence
By HAZEL BLAIR.
I it 1111. WiMtra Mwapapr Union.)
' It certainly waa a desirable prop
erty from every point of view, but one
point of view was permanently Includ
ed, and that was the outlook upon old
Mr. Smith's garden. It waa an enor
mous gnrden, almost big enough for
the grounds of an Institution, and
from Mr. Smith's front gate Mrs. Har
nack could see rows of magnificent
elms and locust trees and flower beds
which always seemed to bloom with
seasonable flowers. But from her side
windows she could see nothing.
"It's the spite fence," explained the
agent "That's why the property' so
cheap. Mr. Smith resented the late
owner's building next to him, and so
he put It up."
So Mrs. Ilarnack bought the prop
erty. It waa Just the place, she told
herself, for a widowed lady to sgttle
down, and there was an excellent fin
ishing school near by for Miriam, her
only child. And days passed and
weeks passed, but neither saw Mr.
Smith.
One day the agent stopped her In
the street.
i "I hear you're going to have a neigh
bor." he said, grinning.
I "What, somebody else going to
build on the other side?" asked Ade
line Ilarnack apprehensively,
j "No, Mrs. Ilarnack," the agent an
swered. "Old Mr. Smith's nephew,
John, la coming to lire with him. Won
der what old man Smith will do with
him."
"Teach htm to be a fencemaker, I
suppose," said Mrs. Ilarnack crossly.
Young John Smith was put Into a
lawyer's office In Cosset Town. One
day, when Miriam had been home from
fcchool two weeks, Mrs. Ilarnack,
walking with her, saw her daughter
bow, and John Smith raised his hat
as he passed on the opposite side of
the road.
"How do you know hlmT" demand
ad the mother.
"Oh, I was Introduced," answered
her daughter evasively.
, "Then understand, Miriam, I forbid
you to speak to him again or notice
him."
"Very well, mamma," answered the
daughter submissively.
But on the next day carpenters ar
rived at Mr. Smith's house, and they
proceeded to erect a rough scaffolding
on the outside of the fence. And the
next day painters mounted It, and be
fore nightfall the exterior bore the
plgn, in huge letters of yellow aud
red:
"Try Pyramid Tills for That Tired
Feeling."
Adellna Ilarnack was away that day
In town. When phe came back she
sow the legend. She was furious.
"Miriam. I am going to stop this If
it takes every penny I have," she said.
"I am going straight down to Mr.
Cupel, the lawyer, to Instruct hlia to
get an Injunction."
"Rut, mamnia "
"Now, not a word, Miriam 1"
"All Hunt, mamma, only John I
mean Mr. Smith Is working. In Mr.
Ca pel's ofllce."
The name betrayed the secret which
the girl's tones concealed. Mr. Ilar
nack turned on her.
"Why do you call him John?" 6lte
asked Icily. "Is It possible possi
ble V She looked at her daughter's
scarlet face. "Miriam, has there been
anything between you and that con
temptible young man?"
Miriam began to cry. "I love John,"
ahe sobbed. "And he loves me, and
he's coming to see you tomorrow aft
ernoon." "No, Indeed," answered her mother.
"I am going to see him, and his uncle,
too, and tell them what I think of
them."
Her anger wos at the boIUng point
when she arrived at the front door.
"1$ Mr. Smith in?" she asked of the
housekeeper.
"Mr. John Smith, or Mr. Johnathan
Smith?" asked the woman curtly.
"Jonathan!" said Mrs. Ilarnack
quietly, nud the housekeepr thought
It was the answer to her question.
But Adellna Ilarnack merely repeat
ed the name In wonder. Could there
be two Jonathan Smiths or was It ?"
"Walk In, please," said the house
keeper, and a half minute later the
visitor found herself In the presence
of the recluse.
lie had not changed so greatly. He
was the same man whom she had once
loved so passionately, save for the
tale of years. And he knew her.
"Adellna 1" he exclalmod, and stum
Lied forward. And Adellna Ilarnack
somehow found herself In his anna,
though It was 20 years since she had
left them.
"It's really you, Adellna?" he asked
Incredulously. "Where do you live?
How have you found me here?"
"I live next door," she answered.
"Next door?
"Beyond the fence. Don't you re
member that I wrote to you? Oh. but
you didn't know my married name, did
you? I want to tell you so much
but the shock has unnerved me."
He caught her In his arms again.
"It Is you, then," he said. "IT
held you In my heart and fenced you
round about and all the wlille I was
fencing you out, unknowing It But,
Adellna I shall keep you now I "
He paused. "We'll tear down the
fence tomorrow," he said, "and thep
wa can talk. Not tonight. Tonight
wa ara a boy and girt together again.
Whitey Discourses on
Golf Reformed Pri
vate Spills Himself
I WAS going to write about this here
golf, which is a sporting event,
though to watch the faces of the guys
who play it you would think it was a
major operaticn. A guy going to a
golf game seems to make up his mind
to have a good time if it killa him,
just like a guy reading the funny pa
pers In a dentist's waiting toom.
When 1 was a kid. Spider, I went up
to a golf link once and was a caddy. A
caddy is a boy who learns interesting
cuss words while the others of his age
are nm saying "gar gar " for water
and "goo goo" for thank vou. So of
course I know all about the game.
ine nrst ining a goiter does when
he starts out is to buy clothes. He
gets him a trick suit that looks like
he was being initiated into a bag-pipe
band. The neck of his shirt is wider
open than a draft dodger's alibi and
his pants are shorter than the odds on
Man o' War.
Thi3 naturally 2rives his lees a
chance for a lot of publicity. I was
caddy once for a bow-legged man who
looked like Borne sort of an arch sol
dier march under when they come
back from war and then march over
when they are getting a dollar and a
half a day for tearing it down. Be
fore he put on golf clothes he was
more popular with the ladies than an
Indian guide, but afterwards the only
one who would speak to him was an
old dame with a crick in her neck
who couldn't eet her eves below hi3
collar bone.
The next thing a golfer does is to
buy a flock of sticks he calls clubs,
though the way they dig up the ground
with them, they look like spades. One
is called a masher because it is a
handy thing to have round when some
body laughs at him, and another is a
niblick which is christened after a pair
of hiccups, and there are a lot of oth
ers. Some are made of iron and some
are made of wood, according to the
kind of head the guy has w ho is using
them. They all look tt'Jke, but for
that matter so do a lot of barrack beds
until you fish under the blanket and
find out which one the cognac bottle
is in. Then it makes all the difference
in the world.
Well, then the next thing a golfer
does U to go out and buy a lot of
balls. They are round and white and
look like the pills they give you in
the army taste. A good golfer can
usually go around eighteen holes in
about ninety strokes ami use up ninety-one
balls doing it.
The only more expensive fport that
is commonly indulged in in this coun
try is writing to chorus girls and tell
ing them that you love them and sign
ing your name to it
Well, after a golfer has got all these
things he goes out and buys a quart of
hootch somewhere or other so as he
can have something to put in his lock
er at the clubhouse and give him an
excuse for carrying keys with him.
Tfte
The
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After that he is all set like a clock
in a railroad station, and then it is
time for him to begin to learn how
to play the game.
l Sometimes he goes to a club where
there is what they call a professional
who is always named Sandy MacTav
ish. I don t know w hy but it is a rule,
Just like a champ heavyweight must
always have a front name that begins
with a J like John Sullivan, Jim Cor
bett, Jim Jeffries, Jack Johnson, Jess
Willard and Jack Dempsey. Carpentier
is right in line too, because his front
name is Jorge.
So now he can go out on the Ivnx.
He geU a shovelful 6f dirt and makes
a hill and puts the ball on it and takes
a swipe at it and knock down the hill
but doesn't do anything in particular
to the ball, and it is right then that
the caddy begins to get an education.
In this game of golf, Spider, the
more you get the worse off you are.
It is Fomething like bigamy that way.
Any other game you try to roll up
points but this one you go just the
other way. It is a good deal like an
Englishman to invent something
cuckoo like that. If they played poker
they would probly have a rule that a
pair of fours sweeps the boards. And
if they shot craps there wouldn't be no
stopping them when they rolled snake
eyes or box-cars. They have been do
ing things queer ever since they used
up the whole army taking Bunker Hill
and never even bothered to end a
K. P. over to capture the Rocky Moun
tains. And Bunker Hill never was
w;orth nothing special, particularly
since the Charles town Brewery out
there closed up.
There are lust two things more a
golfer must learn to do. One is to
forget all he ever heard about little
George Washington and the cherry
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tree and instead memorize the autobU
ography of Ananias and the other is t
learn to pull corks with his teeth. Tha
first is necessary in subtracting up his
score and the second is neceasarv to
keep him from being canned out of the
club as an undesirable character.
WHITEY.
The playing cards of the fourteenth
century differed materially from tha
pack in use todajv The Venetian pack,
lor example, consisted of 78 cards 22
of them marked with emblems of vari
ous kinds and 56 with numerals, divid
ed into four suits of 14 cards each.
By a clause in a special treaty con
cluded soon after the first Punjab war
the maharajah of Kashmir has the
right which he exercises of prohib
iting the importation into his terri
tories of pork pies.
The cables carry the news that
wives are now selling for $1.85 each in
Turkey. It is evident that deflation
came too rapidly and the bottom
dropped out of the market
By going slow on the things that
haven't declined in price and strong
on those that have, you can figure out
even more than a 5.6 per cent drop in
the cost of living for yourself.
Although the courts have held that
it is entirely legal to put the word
latrer on the outside of the bottle, it
' still is not permissible to put anything
resembling lager in the inside.
Automobiles are said to cost as much
as $100,000 in Russia, but before be
coming excited about it perhaps n
would be well to show whether the
price is figured in rubles or in money.
Dyers
CLEANERS
and DYERS
w twi to no."
J'" 1
