TOUR
T1TC ALLIANCE HERALD, TUESDAY. . MAY 17, 1921
BUBW -FRINT1NG CGv Ownert
Entered at the postoffice at Alliance, Neb., for
transmission through the nails as second class
matter, Published Tuesdays and Friday.
GEORGE U
KDW1N M.
BURR, JR
BURR.
.Editor
-.Business Manager
Official newspaper of the . City of Alliance;
fficlal newspaper of Box Butte County.
Owned and published by The Burr Printing
Company, George L. Burr, Jr., President; Edwin
M. Burr, Vice President.
SOME AMUSING ANSWERS
DAYLIGHT SAVING
In these days, especially in an agricultural community,
Ob)f a brave man dares openly admit that he would like
to see the daylight saving plan perpetuated. It's a simple
thing, this turning the clocks back an hour and thus add
ing an hour of daylight to every workman's period of rent,
and the system has been uniformly made welcome in the
cities, but the mention of daylight saving in the front of a
member of the farming element has the same unpleasant
effect as waving a red flag in the face of a hostile gentle
man cow.
The farmers do not like the daylight saving system,
and they probably have plenty of good and sufficient rea
sons for disliking it. Among the arguments they advance
is that they cannot go into the Melds an hour earlier
lecause of the dew on the grass. They cannot go ahead
by their old schedule, like the railroads do when daylight
saving Is adopted, because by the time their work in the
fields is finished and they come to the city to do their
chopping, the stores, which operate by another clock, will
be closed.
It has been suggested that Alliance adopt a daylight
tavings system for the summer months. It will save coal
and electric lights, and will give an extra hour for recrea
tion at a time when recreation is most desirable, or per
mit a man to raise a home garden if he so desires. It
Vrill be of benefit to those who yearn to play golf, but
find the afternoon all too short.
If it is possible to arrange a daylight saving plan that
nll not work any particular hardship on the farmers
who do their trading in Alliance, it would be a good
thing in many ways. There will be some confusion re
sulting from keeping two sets of time, one for railroads
tod the other for work, but it has been done. However,
there la no use attempting it unless everyone can be
made to co-operate and feel right about it. There's no
benefit In having an extra hour of recreation for some
workers and making others, such as clerks, work an hour
extra to care for late customers from the farms.
The Herald, an issue or two back, asked fo& opinions
from farmers and others who were interested in daylight
Saving, either for or against the proposition. A number
of replies have come in, verbal and written, and there is no
Question that the farming element is almost a unit in
opposition to any monkeying with the clocks. One letter
"vi!l represent the sentiment quite faithfully. One cor
respondent writes:
"I notice that there Is some discussion of the daylight '
(Midwest Veteran)
When the citizenship cases came up before Judge
Blackledge the first of the week, many amusing replies
were received from men who come up to secure their final
Pipers. One man was asked who the president of the
nited States is. He didn't know. Neither did he know
who the governor of Nebraska is, nor whether the head of
the United States government is a king, kaiser, prince or
president. He had never heard of Samuel R. McKelvie,
hut he did know that the laws of Nebraska are made by
Byrum.
I When asked who George Washington was he replied.
"He was the boy that cut" but when everybody started
laughing, he stopped and later stated that George Wash
ington discovered America. And he wasn't a German nor
I a Frenchman either, and although he was born in England
1 and had spoken the language all his life he could neither
j read nor write. When asked whether his wife was born
in this country, he said, "No, she was born in Missouri."
Franklin Countv News. '
Incidents like that related In the Franklin county paper
are amusing but at the same time somewhat appalling.
They reveal a situation which is not without menace to
our country. These men who returned the funny answers
presumably received their final papers or will soon do so.
As citizens they will be entitled to the same rights and
privileges as anyone else, including the privilege of help
ing elect our lawmakers.
It is high time someone was taking a more earnest and
less superficial interest in the foreign born residents, . Qur
immigration is cut down to a minimum for a few years,
for which thank heaven, but there is plenty of material
right here In Nebraska to keep us busy doing real Ameri
canization work for some time.
If the American Legion actually intends to live up to
its reputation and declared principles of 100 per cent
Americanism, it is up to the legionaires to get busy. Every
applicant for citieenship should be visited by representa
tives of the local Dost, and steps taken to insure his re
ceiving the proper training and appreciation of his new
responsibilities. And the Legion should take care that no
unworthy applicants are admitted.
WORSE THAN FOOLISH
(Hamilton County Register)
We must subscribe to the sentiment of a contemporary
that the enforcement of the prohibitory law is weakened
more by lawmakers seeking to regulate everything, than
by official neglect, boozemakers' activity or liquor man-
. m 1 1 A. ? ! 1 1 A.
lecturers greed. Laws iounaeu noi on pnncipie uui
made to fit some one's desire to have folks do as them
selves. To allow the smoking of tobacco in a pipe and
prohibit it in cigarettes is not logical. To unduly curb
free speech and free action is criminal. To prevent men
from giving utterance to honest opinions because they do
not coincide with yours is worse than foolish. To have
hoards to censor morals and so take charge of personal
earnings, personal business 'and personal pleasures that
your government irks this person in one place ana cnates
that uerson in another: till it is unpopular and becomes a
costly monumental farce, ineffective and unrespected,
creates a prejudice even against good laws that makes
them difficult of enforcement.
WANTED A FOOL KILLER
(Scottsblutf Star-Herald)
' One of the bieirest (unintentional) jokes of the 1921
season is the recent order by officials in charge of such
matters to the Chippewa Indians to the effect that they
must cease their tribal dances because the latter events
were "indecent." The amusing portion of the matter lies
in the fact that the officials should look so far afield as
Oklahoma to censorize a dance, when high , society balls
occur almost nightly in some portions of the national
capital citv." Needless to state the Chippewas paid no
attention to the order, and went ahead with the dance
that featured that tribe for hundreds of years before the
white people arrived with their "close-up," "wiggle
waggle," "buzzard lope," "rabbit hop," "delirium tremons
stagger" and other refined exhibitions of the Terpsichorian
art.
Vets' Relatives
Get Preference
on Immigration
Relatives of veterans of the World
war will be given preference of entry
in the United States under the immi
gration restriction act recently passed
by congress, says Stars and Stripes.
Under the provisions of the act only
per cent of the number of the for
eign-born persons now living in the
united States can be admitted to this
country during the year ending June
30, 1922. Of this 3 per cent, under
an amendment introduced by Repre
sentative Hamilton Fish, jr., a veteran,
preference will be given to "the wives,
parents, brothers, sisters, children un
der 18 years of age, and fiancees (1)
of citizens of the United States, (2) of
liens now In the United States who
have applied for citizenship in the
manner provided for by law, or (3) of
persons eligible to United States citi
zenship who served in the military or
naval forces of the United States at
any time between April 6. 1917 and
November 11 ,1918, both dates inclu
sive, and -have been separated from
such forces under honorable conditions."
An amendment allowing such rela
tives of veterans to enter the country
ithout restriction was offered by
Representative John Philip Hill, an
other veteran, but was defeated. Fol
lowing this Fish offered his amend
ment. Severe attacks were made on
both amendments, but the veterans
tuck together and secured enough
upport to carry the Fish amendment
110-22.
In the course of the debate, Fish
said all that was asked was preference
for alien service men who are natural-
zed and who have families abroad.
The guns have ceased firing and the
bands have ceasd playing on this
side, he said. "But during the war
the slogan that went all over ' this
country and to the boys on the other
ide simply said this. 'Nothing is too
good for you when you return." And I
resrret as a service man that I have to
call the attention of congress to the
fact that those words have received a
substitute, and that substitute is, 'The
war is over.' I do not think the con
gress is willing, now that they have an
opportunity to give this preference to
service men, to turn them flown.
About 600,000 foreign-born men
erved in the forces of the United
States during the war, 50,000 of whom
had not taken out any papers and were
neither morally nor legally obligated
to serve. Only 1,600 aliens gave up
their first papers to avoid military
service.
It is estimated 355,000 immigrants
will be admitted under the provisions
of the new act and Representative
Fish says he believes 60,000 of .these
will be relatives of ex-service men. .
saving plan for Alliance. Well, that daylight saving plan A f0Oi many men wno have explained the detail of
would be a very good advertisement for the mail order , Professor Einstein's theory of relativity' have been called
houses. This would give more time for city people to on by the treasury department to correct their income
drive out in the country to. leave gates open or ram
fences down to leave stock run on crops for the farmers."
That seems to be about the attitude, and while this
particular correspondent doesn't show any too friendly a
feeling for the city people in general, all of them appear
to believe that the daylight saving' system is devised for
the sole benefit of the townspeople and is intended to in
convenience the farmer. We want no more wars like
tax returns. New York Herald.
So far, bv a marvelous exercise of self-restraint, Ger
manv has refrained from offering to the allies the wooden
rtetute of Hindenburg as full reparation. New York
Evening Post.
Wouldn't it give the God of War an awful jolt were it
possible to make those responsible for wars pay the pen
sions bills growing out or them T Marion btar.
wiicitiiRC kliv iai iiici .117 naiiw jiu mvic ai s line i piujla Uitin (ivvwiij uui ui mem . i"oi iuii . . .
tinto those which raged over the removal of hitching posts. ; , . ,
k. u n. nm:i., ii.. .i i I The trouble about these aliens knocking at our doors is
It a better to keep peace m the family than to play golf hgt they keep on knockJng after they're inWashington
or rake radishes.
Post.
RANDOM SHOTS
The following poem nas been hand-
The handsomest automobile sales
man in Alliance was demonstrating a
car the other day. In speaking of a
ival make, he said: "The springs on
d in for this column, respectfully . that car are onIy semi.ePiieptic Our
iwlirurAi in n h-nlnpi mihhshpr. Who . i..i . !- '..
- i . vuiimieiei v cd eui c.
I . r . .
was stalled Sunday morning midway
between the golf links and his home.
Cause same as the gent in the poem.
Effect a long, exhuaiating walk in
the cool air, spoiled somewhat by a
temperature heated by Sunday cuss
woriU: .... . . . , .
What Ails My Auto,
O, tell me Mister Auto man, why don't
my auto go?
You're learned in all the auto lore, I'm
sure you auto know.
The sizzler auto sizzle when I pull the
startinar plug:
. And when 1 feed the gasoline the
chug-chug auto chug. j
When I get up here in the seat and
give the wheel a turn,
And twist the sparker button so the
gasoline will bum,
And fix one thing or other so the pis
tons will not pound,
Turn on the juice and slam the door,
why don't the wheels go round?
Is it the differentials that don't differ-
entiate
Or does the radiator sometimes fail
to radiate?
Is it in the transmission box or may-
hap in the tires
Or in the bols or cams or cranks or in
those measly wires?
Isn't it the way I hold the wheel or
use the battery?
O, tell me Mister Auto Man whatever
it may be.
And then up speaks the Auto Man
with man and haughty mien
"Your auto aut auto if you'd get
some gasoline
That poem was handed in a month
ago, but we saved it unti the proper
occasion. We knew it would come.
And now, if someone has a poem on
demolishing garage doors, hand her in.
We know who 11 plead guilty. ,
At that, shoe leather is less expen
Five than hiring carpenters by the
, hour.
By the way, in the interest of har
mony among the automobile profesh,
it might be well to explain that we
don't consider Tom Gee the hand
somest automobile salesman in the
city. He's good but there's one that
has him bested.
they can either take them or let 'em
alone.
Others, on the contrary, can't refuse
anything that is being passed around
Health hint for today: If True
Miller has been playing in your vicin
ity, remember that ordinary gasoline
will remove chewing gum from the
hair. It is not necessary to cut the
stickv stuff out or use a fine tooth
comb. Here's one place where high
school training comes in handy.
One of the visiting Scottish Riters
told an old story the other day with a
....I .A A i L I 1 A.
E::i".:n2 "The Prof
Today's Best Story.
Representative Mudd of Maryland
tE:.! h l-r "h Z.Twfc are insatiable," he said. "Their
LsWd S to IZp KfLrX inedible insatiability reminds me-of
asked as to the cau.-e oi his mirth, he ' r,i.w rK.. n ,
explained that there was a rather .?sbe,t a ta gaunt person
funny sort of a stunt there. "Some I Dim- -V- i V .
fellow offered a silk hat to the man I n??K! a tl v
...u . i.i .u L,ilan engagement. 'Who are you? asked
kissed no woman other than his wife Jhe manaKei. 1 am 1'g.b.'.t' l.he
mug, won mc iriiy, n nai s your
1 nrvl vim It n ft vr nnr nn iiv'' 'VVViot'o
and graspert about' fu t .u. 1 , , ,
w, dearie." he pro-! .fiJ !ve, M, w (,al y;
I'd look like h 1 ' "I "1? ,y' u?a in,n
ijuu tan kci iiiiuuKii mem : i Know i
since he had been married. And not a
man claimed it." His wife immedi
ately became suspicious. "Why didn't
you bring home the hat? The poor
lenow stammered
for an alibi. "A
tested. "You know
in a silk hat."
The fellow who is helping Bert
Laing put on the big sale was telling
a bunch of them that he had seen
service in the army. One ex-soldier
was prettv well interested and asked
him-what branch he had been with. "1
was a pilot ia the cavalry," was the
answer. The ex-soldier grew suspi
cious. "I didn't know the cavalry had
pilots. " "Oh, yes, they did," was the
response. "1 had to pilot outside the
stables."
Ole Buck says: Alliance is talking
about adopting the daylight saving
plan. Out in that section of the world
where the sun doesn't set until bed
time it might be sensible to change the
clock during the summer,
An exchange says that it isn't wise
to expect very much of a preacher
whose breeches are not worn shiny at
the knees.
We gather, from certain rather
'aige hints, that some publishers are
tfiis way about subscription contests
specialty?' 'I eat three dozen hen etrirs,
two dozen duck eggs and one dozen
goose eggs at a single sitting.' '1 sup-
Come and see a good clean comedy
and also help the local athletics.
DISARMAMENT DIFFICULTIES
"Has Crimson Gulch a bafeball
club?"
"Not any more." replied Cactus Joe.
"When a game was on we didn't dare
let the umpire carry a six-shooter, ana
we couldn't find one willin' to work
empty-handed." Washington Star.
Get your Hosiery at the new
market prices. 49
Highland-IIolloway Co.
Some folks say it is not heakhful to
work on an empty stomach, but if they
do not work there will be an inciecse
in the number of empty 5tonutchs.
See the new Sport and Sum
mer Hats just arrived. . 49
Highland-IIolloway Co.
THE TEST
The immigrant isn't fully American
ized until he learns to cuss the um
pire. Baltimore Sun.
A crusty old bachelor tells os that
washing dishes and tending the bahy
while wife goes to a political meeting
must be a labor of lov . But as he--
hax neither wife nor baby we d like
to know what he knows about the la
bors of lovt.
Real Ravings are to be had on?
our Suits of 1-3 to 't less than,
actual values. 49
Highland-IIolloway Co.
Until an Italian inventor announced
discovery of process of making arti
ficial rubber everybody had forgotten
whose turn it was.
The trouble about daylight saving
is that there are people who, after
they've saved it, don't know what to
do wit hit.
Archeological investigations revaf
the fact that Babylonian women paint
ed their cheeks and penciled heir eye
brows. Yes, and look what happened''
to Babylon.
Have Good Luck !
With Your Bread
EVERYTIME. Use a Guaranteed Flour. We have two
brands of flour in stock that has brought such general good
results that we feel free to
GUARANTEE YOUR SATISFACTION.
Red Moon
Flour '
Victory
Flour '
$2.25 the 48 lb. Sack
Money Back if it Does not Satisfy.
VICTORY CHICKEN FEED .
Makes the little chicks sturdy and strong. Their growth,
when fed Victory Chick Feed, is fast and sure. Your profits
are affected in the same way.
$3.23 per 100 lbs. 24. lb sack 83c
Farmer's Union
R. J. TRABERT, Manager '
II - ' M' l
f . v- - a in
III
can.' 'On Saturday we often rive as
many as six shows and on rome holi
days we give a performance every
hour. Egbert, the egg king, hesitated.
'In that case,' he said, 'I must have one
thing understood before I sign a con
tract.' 'What's that?' asked the man
ager. 'No matter how rushing business
is at the museum,' Egbert replied, 'you
gotta gimme time enough to eat my
regular meals at the hotel.'
And the Second Best.
A negro employed at one of the
movie studios in Los Angeles was
drafted by a director to do a novel
comedy scene with a lion.
"You get into this bed," ordered the
director, "and we 11 bring the lion in
and put him in bed with you. It will
oe a scream.
"Put the lion in bed with me!
yelled the negro. "No, sah! Not a-
tall! I quits riKht here and now."
"But," protested the director, "this
lion won't hurt you. This lion was
brought up on milk
- "So .was I brung upxm milk,", wailed
the negro, "but 1 eats meat now."
"XT'
.v It
You will find every member of
the family loyal to the car.
It is serviceable alike for all
ages and all demands, whether
business, family or social.
The gasoline consumption is unusually low
The tire mileage is unusually high
j
Lowry & Henry
( ' Alliance, Nebraska I j
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