MX
THE ALLIANCE HERALD, TUESDAY, MARCH 22, 1921
RANDOM SHOTS
We are Ftill wait:? Cr rennits of
liriw Georfce ("airy conducted hime!f
while on that trip to Ciawford Inst
Frily. His roniluct was iloulitlev-ly
lihovr it rou"li, hit a p ir,tlm,'tf( in
cur la.t, those Lions stick lop-other.
After Interviewing n hoo'Jdack, who
lias had the ilen.ure of sliming the
.hoes of pome of tho.e ilamosels who
vear the half hoe, we aren't pure
vhether the jolt of hiifh school morals
inspector would he n entertaining
ve thought at first blu.h.
There's more lunirer than ever of
lccominr confused now. The ladies'
veady-to wear that u.-ed to drape its
wax figures in cotton stockings now
uses nothing hut openwork tiilk.
Mich Ado Ahout Nothing.
The following, from one of our ex
changes, indicates that the village is
extraordinarily peaceful, or else that
the scribe was fearuflly hard up for
copy :
"The Yost family were quite n little
excited at some discoveries Monday
morning. These discoveries were in
the way of tracks around the house
und the disappearance of a bottle. o'
milk. Going home from church Mrs.
Yost, not feeling inclined to sleep, had
sat up and was reading, Mr. Yost hav
ing retired. Late in the night she
heard the fooUteps of some one going
around the house. These she thought
she he ml distinctly and then there
came to her mind the consciousness
that it seemed ut least somebody was
standing at the window. Growing a
little nervous and not wishing to alarm
the rest of the family, thinking pos-
yiblv it was but imagination, she re
1ired. The next morning when she
.told the family of her experience an
investigation was made and it was
found n bottle of milk had disappeared
tind in the soft ground were tracks
leadincr around the house, and oppo
site the window it seemed ns if the
jerson had stood for some time. No
clue as to the identity of the person
has been discovered.
Today's Best Story.
This one is told on Jack Hawes by
one of his T. P. A. intimates: It seems
that Jack was talking good roads to a
gang of hift eronies, and after having
lelivered several yards -of wisdom
about mileage, gas, upkeep and all the
rest of it, summed up his talk with the
statement that "My car will run thirty
miles on a gallon. IJoy Strong said
"You mean FOR a gallon." The party
Itrokc up right there.
If the Lord is with us and we hope
that this is the case there is . one
woman in this city that we never want
to get peeved at us. Of all the cruel
revenges, the one she took on a lady
friend is the worst. Just what the
xvonian had done to incur her displeas
ure i not known, but it must, have
Iteen something frightful, su h as crit
icising the color of her hair or the
length of her skirt. And this is what
happened: The victim was called
over the telephone. She renlied. No
names were given there was neither
time, nor inclination. "Would you
jplcaso hold the phone a minute?"
cooed the young lady who wanted to
pel even. "Certainly," was the reply.
One, two, three minutes passed. Then,
over the phone, came the words: "You
can hang up now your minute is up."
And that same night the victim, ac
companied by half a dozen amazonian
hashers, was seen to pass down the
j-treet in a certain direction.
The murder has not yet been re
ported to the authorities.
- Help I s, Hill Maupin!
Here's a sample of college wit,
taken from "The Dirge." We are ut
terly at a loss as to how to diagram
it, und hereby call upon Dill Maupin
for expert assistance:
Hubert "Is Evelyn modest?"
Kuth "Extremely so. She even
hides her dimples."
Kobert "She must wear a heavy
veil."
Kuth "How ohl-fashioned you are."
If Bill Maupin can't fathom the
mystery, we're going to have a heart-to-heart
talk with the hose inspector
(our mistake morals inspector) at
the high school. ,
Funny thing, you can't tell vhich
man to trust these days. Now, we've
always figured that a certain man was
as steady as an alyrm clock, but last
Saturday morning, as he was proceed
ing to his office, lie saw a girlish fig
ure in feminine overalls we can't
think jut what word fits that g;J
ment. This brother we wouldn't
have believed it of him waved his
hand and called out in a voice that
xvas meant to be kittenish one of those
"come on"' greetings. The woman's
huband stepped out from behind the
clothes lines and answered the crreet
ing and the brother passed on, nuiet-
ly ana at a little raster gait.
More From the College Wits: Agnes
looked furtively around as she sneak
ed out of her room Mhird floor h.irlrl
"If mother caught me in this," she
SQUEEZED
TO DEATH
VJhen the body beeins to stiffen
end movement becomes painful
it is usually an indication thar th
kidneys are out of order. Keep
these organs healthy by taking
COLD MEDAL
Th world's Standard remedy for kidney
liver, bladder end uric acid trouble
Famous since 1696. Take regularly and
Veep In good health, la three sizes, all
druggists. Guaranteed as represented.
Loot foe the ium CoU MUI rrmg
fees aad accept a limUuw
murmured, "I'd never get out of the
house RRin.'' She looked down at
her dress. The skirt barely covered
.wo pink knee c:ip which peeked out
as ehe walked down the long stair
case. Her so were artistically rolled.
"Agnes!!!!!"
Sending in the doorway was a
mall. weaxoned woman. Her eyes
narrowed as she saw her daughter s
.Ires. "Agnes, how many limes must
i tell you not to wear your dresses so
ong?"
R. I T., one of the best known
newf-paper ro'umnist in the country,
whose "Line o' Type or Two" has been
printed in dozens of daily papers, died
suddenly last week. Now we -shall
never lead the concluding chapters of
he "Thou -and and One Afternoons"
ind what happened to Mr. Nathan
Weatherwax and the I'ink Shirt.
We read in The Te'egram that Co
lumbus movie patrons are all a-thrill
at the pros pert of seeing a home tal
ent movie play, which will be shown
there two nights, April 14 and lf.
The title of this production has
a strangely familiar sound "She
Wouldn't Change Her Sweetheart,"
and The Telegram says it's an old love
story made up in a different way.
We'U say it's different, all right, all
right.
It was I T. Rarnum, you will re
call, who remarked that a new one Is
born every minute and most of 'em
live.
In this connection, it would he in
teresting to reproduce a stirring edi
torial from one of the Lusk, Wyo.,
newspapers, which is fearfully excited
over the prospect of having a motion
picture studio established there. The
first picture to be produced will be,
oddly enoiiRh, "She Wouldn't Change
Her Sweetheart." The Lusk paper is
sure that a studio there would be a big
success, for Mr. LaZar told them so.
Mr. LaZar is the genial gent who
offered to donate the Alliance home
made movie, "She, Wouldn't Change
Her Sweetheart," to the chamber of
commerce for "historical purposes."
All of which reminds us that we
have been neglecting the historical
museum. How about '-adding to the
exhibits a membership card in the
Sons of Racchus? Or a blueprint of
the route to Hemingford favored by
the board of directors of the commer
cial organization?
There is still time to get in your bid
for of stork in i hp H-II Com
pany, Inc., Ltd. One of the stock
holders will dispose of his interests
some time this week, and we have the
option. The retiring member has been
kiddinc Link I.owrv alone and has
been letting him think that he will be
allowed to buy it, but we hereby issue
notice that we will defend our rights
if it costs us as much as forty-two
rpnt-j Cot vnnr bids in niflv. mpn
they will be considered in the order in
which they are received. And don t
forget the dime deposit.
The company's manager reports a
tremendous growth in the business
during the last five days. J'lans are
under consideration to open branch of
fices in Antioch ami Hemingford.
we'glit wilt have born reduced uffi-!
ciently that we will be able to walk it
.1 we cant locate a friend with a car,
PIANO FOR SALE
We have a slightly used piano in
Alliance that we were compelled to
re-possess and reliable party can pur
chase same on small monthly pay
ments. We ea.i sell this at a rire bar
gain, if you are interested wr;ti u
and our representative will call upon
you.
LARSON'S MUSIC STOP.E
SIDNEY, fJF.BR. 27tf
An application has been received
from Rrad Minor, who desires to he
appointed manager of the Hemingford
branch, but his youth, innocence and
inexperience are against him.
One man who let it be known that
he might buy a car has been courted
all w eek, by those w ho have 'em to
ell. Sunday the wife was being dem
onstrated one week and he had the use
of a nifty coop. Three other salesmen
were disappointed and had to wait un
til Monday.
When the golf weather actually ar
rives, we're going to drop a hint our
selves. That will solve the transpor
tation problem for the first month of
the golf season. After that, our
IIEMINGFOUD.
Mr. McClung was an Alliance shop
per Thursday.
Delia Swansonpent the week end
with home folks.
Irma Wright spent the week end
with home folks.
Mr. V hitsell was a business caller in
Rushville Friday.
Mr. and Mrs. H. E. Ford motored to
Alliance Sunday.
Minnie Iwis spent the week end
at Ravenna, Neb.
Margaret Kiester spent the week
end with home folks.
Mr. and MrsH. D. Wells spent the
week end at Sterling, Colo.
Melton Danbom returned from An
tioch the last of the week.
Mr. Matison returned home from
Bayard the last of the week.
Foster May spent the week end at
Chappell, visiting Leslie Hardy.
Ressie Baldwin and Elizabeth Miller
spent the week end in Crawford.
Mrs. Ward, who has been visiting
at Lincoln, returned home Friday.
Paul Reeves was a caller- at the
Pete Amen home Sunday evening.
Mr. and Mrs. Lackey of Marsland
spent the week end with Mr .and Mrs.
Robert Gibson and family.
Mrs. Tom Cullen returned home the
last of the week from Omaha and
Iowa where she has hen visiting.
Mrs. Jellnek is confined at the will
Annen home nursing a case of the
small-pox.
Mr. and Mrs. Frizzell. and family
and Mrs. Reeves, visited at the John
Spangler home Sunday.
Mrs. Lotspiech was an incoming
passenger from Alliance Thursday on
No. 43.
Mr. Rohrbaugh and daughter BTenne
returned home from Lincoln Saturday
morning.
Mrs. Mary Kapler of Manville, Wyo.,
is here visiting her cousin, Mrs. How
ard Haynes.
Mrs. Jenkins who has been visiting
her son and family returned home the
last of the week.
Mrs. J. P. Christenson and son and
daughter motored to Alliance Friday
afternon to do some shopping.
The aid of the Congregational
church served supper at the Harry
Pierce home Thursday evening,
Mrs. Johnson of near Marsland de
parted for Iowa -Friday night, called
there by the serious illness of her
son.
Mr. Rein, Harry Kempt, Paul Reeves
and Mr. Andrew nnd son Eugene and
daughter Helen visited at the Joe
Carter home Sunday.
Mrs. Carrell and Mrs. Havel ick left
the first of the week for Mrs. Hiive
lick's home at Hagler, Neb. Mr. Car
rell left later in the week.
Margaret Dixon departed Friday
night for Grand Island where she will
visit a few days and then will go on
to her home at Red Cloud, Neb.
Quite a number of the young folks
from town attended the bo.x social and
dance at the school house, tauirht by
Mavme Fitzgerald, Saturday evening.
The young folks of the M. E. church
met in the church basement Friday
night, where various games were
played. . Each Friday evening is set
aside for the young folks to meet in
the basement to play games and enjoy
themselves.
HELPFUL HINT
Jones: "I want to do something hig
and clean before I die."
Bones: "Wash an elephant." Pur
ple Cow.
Do Your Share in, the
Clean-Up Campaign
Don't Stop with Cleaning up the Yard and Planting Gardens
BUT
BRIGHTEN UP THE OLD FURNITURE
WITH "WOOD VAR STAIN"
We have several quarts of this varnish stain that any. house
wife can apply herself and work wonders in the looks of the
old furniture. Colors, are:
MAHOGANY, WALNUT, OAK NATURAL
We are going to close out our stock of "Wood Var Stain"
at a bargain price. If you can use any of it, we urge you to
come soon so you can get what you will need.
TO CLOSE OUT
at, Quart
$1.10
WALL FLAT ROSE COLOR ONLY
Use it to rejuvenate the walls. It will
brighten things up for a minimum of cost.
ONE FULL GALLON
$3.00
HYGIENIC KALSOMIME
IN SIXTEEN TINTS AND WHITE
F. J. BRENNAN
301 Box Butte
Why We'are the Cleanest
Clothed People in' the World
Said a famous Frenchman, visiting America
for the fust time: "Ah you Americans
you are the cleanest clothed people in the
world. I envy you!" We have reason to
believe he meant what he said.
Clothes sent "out" in Siam are usually
washed in a village pond one water
for everybody's 'washing. Clow-can
sprinkling is universal among the
Chinese. In Mexico it is well known
that laundresses rent out apparel of
their patrons many instances are re
lated of men meeting their own shirts
on unfamiliar backs. Europe, too, has
its unusual customs.
Yet, clothes look clean in these
countries the difference is that here
we have linked up sanitary service
with our laundering. With us, clothes
are sterilized as well as cleansed.
This Will Illustrate:
Everything in the family bundle is
washed in five to ten baths of cleans
ing suds and rainsoft water in modern
laundries. .
Sterilized, superheated air of 210
degrees to 280 degrees temperature is
used in drying. Still other pieces are
dried in ironing at a temperature of
320 degrees.
Clean clothes never come into con
tact with the soiled wrapping in
aseptic paper, in a special shipping
room well removed from the receiv
ing room, is the final step.
In modern laundries, personal ap
parel is, refreshed and cleansed in
wardly and outwardly actually made
purer than the milk we drink.
It is well to remember that this
service of sanitation which helps
keep us the cleanest clothed people in
the world is obtainable only - in
modern laundries.
To be sure of this service that is
safe and saving ; to be sure of protec
tion for your own health and that of
.your family; to secure help that will
take all of the inconvenience and
work of washday out of your home,
send your family washing to the mod
ern laundry in your city.
Alliance Steam Laundry
ass
It Was a Profitable Joke
For Both of Them
Two girls were working in the same shop several years ago. The.
question of saving money came up one day, but these girls said they
could not spare anything from their small earnings.
But just as a joke one of the girls said: "I'dare you to start a sav
ings account with me and see who can save the most" so they
started. - '
A few years later, one of these girls quit working at the shop to
get married. She was surprised to find more than $600 in the bank
to her credit a very welcome sum at such a time.
The other girl i3 still working and she continues her visits to the bank "
each week. Her account is well above 2,000 now, and it is growing fast.
Her interest money each year is more than her first year's savings
amounted to.
Perhaps this story will suggest a plan that will work as well for you.
FIVE PER CENT. PAID ON TIME DEPOSITS
FIRST STATE BANK
ALLIANCE,
NEBRASKA