RANDOM SHOTS
Once upon a time, a fairy stories
always bepin, the SeottsMufT Star
Herald had thifi to say: "Because a
matter of bij? business tlraprs or ts
found impracticable in Alliance cer
tainly does not signify that the same
would be true at Scottsbluff."
Those buoyant words were written
exactly a month aro. Today the Ne
braska Fackinp company is" just as
dead as the Alliance concern. Some
times the live ones are dead from the
neck up.
Who threw the brick that knocked
off the only ripe I'lumbe in western
Nebraska ?
Who killed Cock Robin?
What has become of Frederick
Cook, the intrepid liar who discovered
the north pole?
The younjrest news kid was indig
nant when he came in after selling
his bunch of Heralds on the street.
Business had been good, but usually
half a dozen customers slip him a
dime and tell him to keep the
change. "o fellows ain't give me
none money," he complained.
A. R. Harper,- now in Kansas City,
sends back word that the weather is
very sloppy, end that "they are wear
ing them short and narrow." Now
what the dickens has he been looking
at? It can't be goloshes.
If you have a firm belief that you're
just as young as you used to be, bor
row one of those string tops from any
kid and see how long it takes you to
make it spin.
Today's Best Story.
"Times have changed," sighed Uncle
Bill Bottleton.
"What makes you think so?"
"A little family party I attended
last night. The women folks talked
politics while the men folks got oft in
a corner and exchanged recipes."
There may be nothing to it, but we
recall that the first two or three men
who were told that their names were
on nominating petitions for the new
city council professed great surprise.
One prospective candidate insisted
that he had heard nothing about it,
except that seven or eight men had
called to insist that his name be al
lowed to go on the ballot.
This primary election is the one best
bet of the vindictive. They can pick
out some fellow they dislike intensely,
persuade him to run, file a nominating
petition for him, and then proceed to
Knife him.
We've heard two or three fellows
whetting their stilettos.
There is this point in common about
mules and home brew you can't tell
how hard they'll kick.
Alliance isn't living up to its repu
tation as a newsy town. We havrn't
had a murder, sudden death or good
drunk story for fully a week. If th's
keeps on, we're going to encourage
some of the lovelorn tn stage an elope
ment, and then ler.d the pleased father
a brace of automatics to put up a fake
chase.
One of the most interesting mathe
matical problems we have come upon
is based upon the weight of kisses, as
set out in the studies of a French
scientist. This brother figured that a
kiss weighed two milligrams. Figuring
that a man gets to see his sweetheart
tlirep times a week, how long do you
figure it will take him to reduce
twenty pounds, basing your answer on
your own courting experiences.
The booze hounds have some pleas
ant moments. Up at Omaha they
raided a still the other day and found
Miss Maud Miller stirring the mixture
a' op the gasoline stove. A booze
hound who hail seen better days began
to (uote the familiar lines: "Maud
Miller, on a summer's day " but the
voung ladv interrupted him. "1 may
be Maud Miller," she said, "but I am
not going to offer the judge a drink."
The Scottsbluff bluenoses are going
to stop dancing along with enforcing
the curfew ordinance. Some clay they 11
become moral enough to put a stop to
the manufacture and sale of potato
whisky.
Wonder why they couldn't pass an
ordiance requiring a license to sing,
except in church.
Great disappointment is expressed
by some unregenerate males because
fashion has decreed longer skirt..
Fashion isn't so powerful as she used
to be. It's leen three months since
the word went out that ear puffs were
no longer in style, and yet we still see
a few of them.
There's one thing we like about
Scottsbluff. When their chamber of
commerce sets out to put anything
over, they do it.
The Scottsbluff packing plant is not
dead, but sleeping.
The time, they tell us, is not ripe.
Yet the Flumbes have been plucked.
Some week for news, when the poor
scribe has to play up the robbery of a
Chicngo hank.
It may interest you to know that the
national debt has been decreased sev
eral million dollars. This has no ef
fect on the price of po'k chops.
These are trying days at the club.
Jim i learning to play solitaire.
Our idea of a riotous evening is to
play chess. That's one place where
we can be classed as a riot.
Four nights at the movies, and not
a single good looking heroine.
Imperial Theater
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 4
Fox Entertainments, presents
"THE SQUARE SHOOTER"
Featuring, "BUCK JONES"
A story of the Golden West, Amid Nature's Beauty
The Great Out Doors.
Talk about Wm.
S. Hart, and Tom
Mix see opposite
ad the kids know.
First Kid: Say! Buck Jones
is some fighter.
Second Kid: Aw g'wan.
Tom Mix can beat him.
First Kid: Oh, yer off.
Didn't he get shot two times,
hung wonst and fall off the
barn roof and shoot 'em up
and then ride seventeen miles
and jump out of a tree onter
the villain's back and rescue
his goil ? G'wan. Yer bugs.
Moral: Leave it to the kids.
They know the good ones.
10th Episode, "THE LOST CITY"
"THE TUG OF WAR"
Henry Lehrmans First National Comedy
"THE KICK IN HIGH LIFE"
REGULAR ADMISSION
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 5
Metro Screen Classic, present
ALICE LAKE, in
"SHORE ACRES"
SNUB POLLARD in "ALIAS ALADDIN"
MUTT and JEFF in PARLOR BOLSHEVIST
Regular Admission Matinee and Night.
SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 6
Special Return Engagement by , Popular Demand the
World's Greatest Picture with a Heart and Soul.
Our understanding is that the. Alas
kan reindeer is a long-lived animal,
but we never had the courage to in
vestigate whether they got tougher as
time goes on.
One ambition of our young life has
been to eat reindeer hash, but we ap
parently are (loomed to disappoint
ment. George Darling has developed some
advertising stunt in connection with
will have courage to put in a bid, no
matter how low the, price gets. We
know one young man who was of
fered a fine house at almost no rent
at all if he'd get married, and this
generous offer was refused.- Indica
tions don't seem to indicate any more.
Funny thing about the fellows who
quit smoking when they begin again
they smoke about twice as much as
they did before.
There may be only one fern in the
Fern Garden, but it's a big one. Just
because one swallow doesn't make a
summer doesn't mean that a Fern Gar
den has to be a wilderness of plants.
Wonder how reindeer sausage would
taste ?
Kilo
Regular Admission Matinee and Night.
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 7
Jewel Productions, presents
"TWO KINDS OF LOVE"
By an entire all-star cast
Regular Admission
desire to hear these sermons. Also re
member that in lha 1 nr.l'a llnni. tka
- - - - -" M i I V H , I I II. I
Iords Table is spread every lord's!
Day. These services are to strengthen j
you and to help you to be a Christian ,
man during the week. i
The Bible School and prayer meet
ings are open to all. i
Come to the Church with a message '
and a welcome. i
S. J. Kl'I.KR, Minister. I
. Ll'T!li:i: AN ( IU K( II.
The Lutheran church has services in
the afternoon at 2:;;0 o'clock. The!
service will bo in the German lan
guage. Sund: v school nt 10 a. m.
F. PKOKGMML'KLl.KR, I'a.-tor. ,
AT THE CHURCHES
BAPTIST CHURCH
The crowds at the services which
practically filled the house since our
coming here show that people love to
hear the old unadulterated gospel. The
interest seem to be deepening at every
service, the revival spirit is with us
and the results are already seen. Last
Sunday evening seven stood at the
altar at once, five for baptism and
, two by letters. We are striving to get
back to scriptural basis which is a
perennial revival instead of the so
called annual revival. Folks seemed
to be surprised when they were told
at prayer meetings that the annual re
vival habit had no scriptural founda
tion, and God is proving already that
it is possible for a church to have
conversion at the regular ""services.
Another conversion took place after
last Sunday service, and she will take
i her stand at the morning service Sunday.
The series of sermon based on "The
Fatal Spot" is being blessed of God,
and the second will be given Sunday
evening. The morning message will
be, "Home With a Message", Scrip
ture Mark 5.
Sunday school 10 a. m., classes for
all ages. A Phili-Baraca class for
young men and women has been or
ganized and will be taught by the pas
tor at the parsonage as the church is
full. Any young people who wish to
have a good time during the week, and
study on bunday are invited to join
this booster party.
Fifty-two were at prayer meeting
Wednesday, let's make it seventy-five
next Wednesday, subject will be "Bap
tism of Holy Ghost and Fire." Bring
your Bible and note book.
Follow the crowds, and see results
at the Baptist church.
B. F. MINORT, Pastor.
PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH.
Remember the special meetings are
still in progress at the Presbyterian
church. At 7:30 tonight Dr. Taylor
will speak on the theme, "The Great
Potter". There will be no services
Saturday. "
The services on next Sunday will
close the series of meetings in this
special effort of the church. Dr. Tay
lor's brief sojourn in our midst has
been of immense value to all of us
and the practical worth of this type of
personal and pastoral effort on the
part of a church will be increasingly
manifest. Come to the services bun
day.
Sunday morning, 9:45 Decision Day
in the bunday school, hvery Sunday
school pupil should be present in this
service. 11 a. m. Morning Worship,
"Jesus the Great Magnet". Special
music by the choir. Christian Endeav
or at 6:30, "A Surrendered and Vic
torious Life", Miss Magars group will
lead. Evening service, 7:30, "The
Soul's Imperatives". Special music,
Miss Joder and Mrs. Rhein will repeat
the duet, "I Cling to Thee."
All are cordially invited to attend
these services. Come, you will be
made welcome.
First Presbyterian church, corner
Box uutte avenue at 7th Street.
A. J. KEARNS, Pastor.
CHRISTIAN CHURCH
"No man liveth unto himself, Is
just as true now as when it was writ
ten, those centuries gone by. Convic
tion of truth will lead to a conscience.
What are your convictions of morality
and religion? The minister will dis
eusa this under the following subjects
for next Lord's Day! "Obligations",
and "The Last Invitation". You will
Do you
know
why
it s toasted
To seal In the
delicious Burley
tobacco flavor.
LUCKY
TBIK
CIGARETTE
We Risk Our Reputation
On the Service
We Render
As far as Tiros are concerned we believe we know what
you want.
You want just TWO things.
You want quality in the tire itself.
And you want courteous, efficient, expert nnd really
helpful tire service.
Wo can jrive you both.
Wo handle (JKNKUAL TIRES. That eliminates any
question on the quality point. We have built up and won a
reputation for real service, which takes care of the question
of our direct relation to you.
The same thinjr holds pood in our battery department.
We sell the VESTA battery, the best proven battery on the
market today.
Why not como in and talk over this important question
of satisfactory equipment for your car?
We'll try to satisfy you. And we believe we can.
Alliance Tire Works
Times Kuilding.
GEO. E. MINTZERp Proprietor.
1
Is Your Kitchen Equipped With
e'ed Enamel Ware
IF NOT, you do not fully realize the pleasure and con
venience of working with this high quality kitchen
ware.
IF SO, we will not have to urge you to take advantage of
our special price on this enamel ware.
IN EITHER EVENT, you should look over your kitchen
utensils to see if there are not a few items you can
profitably buy at this time. Reed's 3-coat Enamel
Ware will give you the satisfaction you have been
looking for.
Rhein Hardware Co.
Prompt and Courteous Service
-
TUB UNIVERSAL CAH
The Ford Sedan is the favorite family car, seats five comfortably. While an
enclosed car with permanent top, it has large windows, and may in a minute be
changed to a most delightful open car with always a top protecting against the
l l sun. in inclement weatner it is a ciosea car, oust -proof, water-proot, coid-prooi. I III I
Finery upnoisterea. i&qaippea witn electric starting ana ngnting system ana Ml
demountable rims with 3 -inch tires all around. A real family car. Anybody can
safely drive it. It has all the conveniences of an electric car with the economy
. which goes with Ford cars, low cost of purchase price, small cost of operation
and maintenance. Won't you come in and look at it?
. COURSEY & MILLER
AUiance, Nebraska
