TUK ALLIANCE IIKRALI), TUESDAY, OCTOBER 19,1920
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43
"Car struck by r-aMln train" la
way a headline In the eichsnRe
ads. Thla conviya the Idea that
e train crew made a tpi-rlal erfoil
i hit the automoolle and kill
rABsengera. when as a matter of fact
t ie driver probably tried to go faster
t i dirt roads than the train could
I ) on ateel rails. In nlncty-nlne out
f a hundred cropslng accidenta, the
1 iU Is due to the carelessness of the
t'rlver, and the hundreth one would
i t happen If he had used hla wlta.
If jrou want to be absolutely cor
rect, as well as In style, call It
o-mah-to".
Postal employes all over the coun
try are quitting their Jobs because a
lepubllcan congress Is too "econom
i al" to pay them a living- wage.
And yet Allance union laborers are
blng mailed great gobs of pilnod
latter which tells them over and
i ver that the republicans are the tm t
f.'tends of labor.
The republicans always have been
friends of labor so long as labor
oidn't want anything.
Oh, wellall that is necessary is
to make them believe It until No
vember 2.
Great little game, Is politics.
Mac, the He Vamp, reports that
his evenings are booked solid for
three weeks.
Be patient, girls you'll have to
wait your turn. Priority rights will
be strictly observed.
The largest pie bakery west of
Chicago has reduced its prices 20
per cent. This sounds good to the
pie f lends. Dut did you see the
: rtlcle telling of the invention of a
machine to cut a pie Into Bliteen
plecesT
says he's figuring on renaming his
boys Cut an 1 Peal.
And a bootleger could select Hum
and Hum us names for his offspring.
Tliere's no ml of possibilities I"
connection with this plan.
Indian summer Is still here, but
the Indians left Saturday nlnht.
Hut's about the only thing that thry
wouldn't fake with them.
We never did learn the name of
the attractive young lady who is par-
Ual to the fat ones. We talked as
nice as we knew how, but the man
who knew wouldn't take pity on us.
Parson D. A. Youtsy writes to the
Uerlng Courier from Elmwood. It's
not a bad letter, but the following
sentence seems too good to be true:
"I am beginning to feel that a nice
T-boue steak, fried potatoes, sliced
tomatoes and a nice Bllce or two of
toast and a good cup of coffee, just
such as the good wife makes, woul
not go bad."
We have always been told that
fried chicken was the favorite food
of preachers. It seems almost ir
religious to hear of one wishing for
something else.
The Herald has decided that, be
ginning at once, no subscriptions will
be recleved from Madagascar or
Kamchatka until there Is a vacancy.
Rising postage rates and 15-cent
print make it necessary for us to
hold down our list. If you live in
Kamchatka you 11 have to move or
give up The Herald.
Inquiry made by one girl of another.
"Why, that's easy," answered the
second girl, "I Just soap my back
all over and then lie down In the tub
and shimmy. " And for that daught
ers are reared!
The love birds are stirring about
rather early for this time of year.
An Alliance Jeweler reports the sale
of a diamond at 6:30 a. in. the
other day.
The hour of the sale leads one to
eipect that the girl didn't care to
run any risk of a cnange of mind
after the decision had once betn
reached.
Note: No artificial illumination Is
needed at the boarding house any
longer.
-
Girls are funny. A real good
looker complains that she canT
seem to Interest the Alliance boys.
She's planning to buy a parrot so she
will have a chance to carry on a con
versation. She's Just that desperate.
A Chicago telegrapher has named
Ills two girls Dot and Dash. This
ts a neat idea, and worthy of emula
tion. An Alliance stud poker shark
Don't crowd,
crowd!
young men, don't
However, If anyone in Guam or
Oermidji is really suffering for latk
of The Herald, we'll grant a special
dispensation.
Like every other newspaper, we'll
vecept all we can, get from home at
our regular rates with Just as few
estrictions as possible.
We have a soft spot in our heart
ror Bermldjl.
Tmluy's Bent Story
Some conversations are very edify
ing. For Instance, we stood behind a
'ouple of damsels while waiting for
the "mrond show" to begin the other
Vplit. "How do you wash ycur back
whfn tfou bathe?" was the siartlinp
Amateur golf isn't so expensive as
one might suppose, especially when
all the other players are in the ninety-nine
class. Even if you're un
lucky enough to lose a ball, you can
usually pick up one some other golf
er has loft. One estimate places tlie
number of oalls lost to date at 127,
and we think we know who found
thirty-two of these.
Golf balls come at about six-bits a
throw. The game Is fully as expen
sive as croquet.
And considerably better.
Eddie says pingpong is a game of
science and skill.
All of which is news to us.
And to "numerous others, we sus
pect.
We didn't know they went in for
those rough games In Fiance."
Mr. and Mrs. E. C. Drake and
daughter, Mardell, and Mrs. E. T.
.obel motored to Scottsbluff Sunday,
fliey returned Sunday evening.
Try a Herald Want Ad It pays.
m ; Triendhj flass" . j
MM -and "satisfaction Bf
jJM in every Lottie. Bl
njfflkVflm Known everywhere- Buy it iff
rUi;jr ",5. 1 by the case for your home, iff '
Mlk Anheuser-Busch if
p) f ; aC Visitors cordially inviled
P 1,1 """
Let us Put a Case in Your Home
We Deliver to Any Part of the City
Wm. King Company
Distributors Phone 136 Alliance, Nebr.
A Checking Account Is
Your Greatest Measure
of Defense
Defend yourself against waste Cash is rarely seen save at the vanishing point. It
dwindles, it scatters you know not where. But you THINK when you write
check. You have a record of where the money goes. Payments are systematized,
expenditures reduced.
A checking account protects you against loss of your money by fire, theft, carelessness
forgetfulness. It means your funds aresafe.
Defend yourself against trickery and mistake File your checks. They make indisputable
receipts, sparing you tvHce payment of of bills, for on the back of every cancelled
check which comes back to you is the signature of the person or the firm which re
ceived the money.
Build a fortress against sickness, accident and old age You save a surplus and it will
save you sometime. And remember, bythe way, that writing more deposit tickets
than checks is the secret of both safetyand sucess.
Ward off the inconvenience and worry Achccking account in our bank ranks with
free mail delivery and the telephone. It saves you a long trip, and you always have
the right to change. Your money is always available, payable on demand. No
expense we supply check books, passbooks and all necessary stationary free.
FIRST NATIONAL BANK
Alliance, Nebraska
-w A !M t Sirm MM -MM HI
for Highest Possible Quality at
Lowest Possible Price
Get onto the facts and you'll
get off the fence
Right from the start Spurs let you know what
you're 6moking. Plain as day, on the back of the
package, it says: 'In Spur Cigarettes the good to
baccos from the Orient are properly mixed with
Uurley and other home-grown tobaccos."
In your language that means "good old-time to
bacco taste." Haven't you just been hankering for it?
Those good tobaccos arc roiled in satiny, imported
paper and crimped, not pasted. That's something
to know, too. In smoker's talk, crimping means
"easier drawing, slower burning, better taste." Ex
amine a Spur and see how it's made.
And as the finishing touch, Spur's fragrance and
freshness arc sealed and delivered in a three-fold
package rich brown and silver.
Hop off the fence and land on Spurs.
Liggett f Myers Tobacco Co.
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