SIX
THK M.I .!AV'"K MK1MI I). FRIDAY, OCTOBER 1, 1920
H Sheriff Miller was areatlv exctMi
Here's tbe mystifying thing about
the whole perfn'-mn
wasn't broken, but when It was re-
: t)V l. f w :ir IOU i
on that watch were outstrefche ! -way
outstrptched.
Ills own theory is that tiio.
fun-In tried to get around ih -t.
waist of hln n?lovd and when the
ound th" cry'' t" t' y, iJr
dh himply died of grief.
ithe other day oter a report that some
tciM'irnnl i i Lie i.e toi.n
r rv- golf links, hut Homebody
gave the Joke away before he ha'
Random Shots
time to arreiit any auapecta
Hint to Parents: A Scottaoluff
young couple feed their baby miIc,
no they can And him in the dark.
We're discovered the limn who r"
lhe "putter" In "sputter." In order
Tor this golf fhot to work out JtiM
ilfht, It ouftht to be reTeraed.
tjut Just now we don't see how li ran
be accomplished. If those lcft-hn-ed
clubs were only here
'We understand now why It I:
vailed a "green". iBkea coiutdet
ble of the "loiiR preen" to make
one of them.
From Hartlngton comes a dlHpntcti
to the State Journal, which that ae
date newspaper baa headed In this
fashion: "Shoot boya in melon
patch."
About the time President Garfield
was shot, a Washington landlady was
telling one of her roomers about the
tragedy. "He wan shot right down
In the rotunda." she explained. One
nice old lady who wan listening to
the story broke Into the conversa
tion: "In the name of heaven, Mr.
Rodgers, what Is a man's rotunda?"
The kid who "takes 'em out of the
folder" each Tuesday and Friday
afternoon got confidential with
Eddie the other day. "Do you know
why I like this Job?" he asked.
Eddie admitted that he didn't know.
"Because I make enough money to
take Marie to the picture show," the
kid said. "Marie's a girl I know,"
he added.
He's waiting until Thursday night.
that kid, so that he and Marie can
take In the thrilling serial. This
Marie, we understand, likes the Moon
Riders better than any of them.
That's one the Office Romeo never
misses.
A Judge of the clrcul tcourt In
Denver recently was much embarras
sed during the trial of a damage suit
In which a woman was suing a rail
road company for an alleged Injury
to her ankle.
The woman bad been subjerted to
a grilling cross-cam lnat Ion and war
showing signs of becoming "peevefl,"
when puddenly the nttciney for the
plaint :fT asked:
"Will you please show your a-.rkt.
to the Jury?"
Indignantly lhe woman replied:
"No, I'lV not. I'll not show it tr
you. the Jury or nny olh'r penile
man but I will nhw It to tin
Judge."
A variation of t.ie "you-r.hcuM
seethe-other-fellow" story took
place after the last automobile acci
dent. One of the injured was get
ting sewed up, and the members of
the family were worried about the
permanence of the impairment to hU
looks. The young man didn't worr
a bit, however. "You think I'm
damaged?" he asked. "You ought
to see the cow we hit."
Todays lU i.t M r
A rnther p-lm ''
iv." the steps rf a London bin. T
. I 'l vim b!- w'hr :ie tv hunt, a
ll.e Imcfe eriir'ii her ' ' Is r
wiUrle Ih-in f c-ir t
them with brth ben N I
In place. She !ook another rtep up
pnd again the wind raised her skirts
Af.aln she put tVn down. A. '
"MrJ step th s was repeated. She
ontinued the aMit, iio?itl :g r
"Very step to force the skirts down
The cabby, who was In a hmry to b
n bis way, spoke up: "t'rry up
':v1y," he urged. "M.kc it fast. I v
nlnt no treat for me."
A little Information on th's p
.'ence: Why Is it that all the-oulja
In in tils are silent Oil lhe resulis t
the forthcoming election.
M.ijbe politicians are tongue-tied
wh'-n they reach the oulja plane, i
A truthful oulja wouldn t attempt
to Issue a forecast until after the
candidates get back to the. fron
porch.
Maybe there In something to those
boards, after all. Their presen
reticence is a big point In their favo
We offer the suggestion that a
oulja board of proven probity b
called upon to settle the clrculatl '
question. It's as gooa evidence bp
any that has been produced.
For years even after that fate-
kful day In July, when drouth descend
ed upon the entire country tne rte
mand for snake bite remedies has
exceeded the biting capacity of all
the snakes, according to one para-
grapher who is a perfect fiend for
statistics.
Chief Reeu was passing out a fe.v
hints to a man who is known to l
fond of his morning's morning at al
times of the day and night. "Ynt
want to watch yourself, me tan.
told him. "I jear the fedeiul we;it
are going to stop illegal dnnkiny
that they're going lo watch ti.y deu'
ers les an J the drinkers more close
ly." For an instant the face of th
Thirsty Man durkt i ed. Then i
auddeiily cleared. "Guess I'll hav
to turn dealer, I hen," he said witl,
the air of one who has solved a p
plexing problem.
r.vis us.
O AlliPI'-e ' - '
afreet ton on the part or the bign
school students, found a n ,.
(but not overripe) watermelon on
his back porch Thursday inorn'ng.
.a Mitis watchers reported that It re
mained there all day, and the man
didn't even take it in. "I'll bet he
eats It before morning, though," one
of the studes declared.
The next time they'll bring deray
d eggs and ancient cabbages as a
mark of affection if they dare.
How could a man refuse to look at
a peace offering?
Herald want-ads cost
il Me people lead them.
more bu
The illustrated lecture given by
Dr. It. W. Taylor of Scottsbluff hi
the Presbyterian church Sunday ev
ning was well attended and much en-
oyed. The views shown were excep
tionally good and on the Imaginary
tour with Dr. Taylor as guide, points
of Interest from within nine mik's of
Alliance to historic places in dc-v-
tstated Fiance were visited. Ii wa
regretted that through unavoidable
circumstances is was necessary to
curtail the lecture somewhat, but
the audience hopes to have the
pleasure of hearing Dr. Taylor again.
POLITICAL ANNOUNCEMENT
I am the democratic candidate for
the office of county commissioner
from district No. 1. If elected, I
pledge you my best efforts In rr
noting good roads in all parts of
Box Dutte county, and proi.ii.se
faithful and efficient service.
JOSEPH DUHON,
96p Marsland, Neb.
BUILDING YOU
WEALTH
At i tji . , .
n uu ii . wurKs ior you liiffiu. flin v. v.-no : a Met- wn-k. H, n ,.i,tu ,. .iit..- t.:i
by little the amounts grow till each atMitinn is n i-'spectalK- sum. ' r . 1
Where does the (rain come from? Not from your pockit. Nor from ours. It i$ the result
of production. Aloney placed in a Lank is given an opportunity to work and to produce.
THUS A BANK BUILDS YOUR WEALTH
Start with a small deposit if you will. Add to it whon you can rosrularlv if vou en do so
It will not be long till you cun fairly we it grow
MAKE THIS BANK VOUR BP.ST SERVANT OPEN AN ACCOUNT WITH US TODAY
FIRST NATIONAI
Alliance, Nebraska
i ll -
a BAilK
i' i
tjweL ahnufb nmtt at liloj2
jor mgncsr Totswie syiauiy auwest rosswe ma
Romantic Richard had a fearfu
experience yenterday morning. Thre
minutes after he went to v,i
lie pulled out his watch. He did it si:
ostentatiously that the other ' boys
noticed it. They found that he had
pasted a picture of his Heart's Desire
Inside the lid.
He took out that watch ever
ten minutes during the inon.i-ig
Rut at 10:17, to be exact, he found
It had stopped. Repeated siia i
wouldn't make it go. It was out of
commission.
Stop Worrying Let
Curtis "Best"
Do Your Baking
Have you experienced the joy of baking -with selected flour t
There is a world of difference in the results to be obtained.
"Vc have carried for many mouths the best flour we can buy
flour that particular housewives have tried and found not
wanting, to the smallest perfection.
WE URGE YOU TO TRY A SACK TODAY
"It Will Simplify Your Baking"
Buy Your Winter Coal Now
You should be laying in your winter 's supply of coal right
now. We are receiving shipments of coal from time to time,
and we suggest that you place your order TODAY to be filled
as soon as your turn comes. You will not be able to get it
cheaper for several months.
OWL CREEK
Lump or Nut
KIRBY COAL
Lump or Nut
MOFFAT COAL
Lump or Nut
All Kinds of Rock Salt
Wc have a large supply of all kinds of Rock Sale, suitable
for any use on the farm, in the shape and form most convenient
for you to handle.
Stephenson & O'Bannon
WHOLESALE AND RETAIL
HAY, GRAIN, FEED, FLOUR, AND COAL
,l M III
f- .r' ' i
HI.
e Your Own Guest of Honor
Lay your money on the dealer's counter and say
"Spurs". You just can't go wrong, not even by a pufF.
That brown and silver triple-wrapped package gives
you confidence. It's smart and dignified.
Open it up. Get a whiff. Right again. Good old-time
tobacco. Nothin' but. Sharpens your smoke taste for a
little banquet with just you as the guest of honor. Sit
right down to it
Light up a Spur. Take a long puff and you'll go
right to that old-time tobacco taste. It comes from the
pick of Turkish, blended with Burley and other home
grown tobaccos. Crimped seam not pasted means
slower-burn, longer-smoke, better-taste.
Try the only crimped cigarette in America it's Spur.
Liggett 6c Myers Tobacco Co.
for xMMmMfcX '
