The Alliance herald. (Alliance, Box Butte County, Neb.) 1902-1922, August 13, 1920, Image 3

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Comment - - and
Discomment
The Lincoln newspapers cari7 an
Interview with a very learned phy
sician who discourses on tie suo
Jects ot cats. You'll remember how,
since your infancy, stories have been
afloat about the family Tabby mount
ing into the cradle and sucking the
breath of babies. You have probaDly
heard of dozens of cases where the
cat was taken oft the baby's breast
Just in tinu' to save Its life. It Isn t
hard to find folks who believe tnis
sort of stuff, but It Is amusing when
the theory is expounded by a phy
sician, who of all people ought to
know better.
paid against them without helping to
Keep afloat a superstition that aas
been thoroughly exploded for at least
half a century.
However, something tells us that j
Venus Is the plnnet more likely to
have something to say. Venus in feminine.
I'.ir wi.i v .1 in Fj.a.n lire going
lth in ptii, while Finre In this
i-nun'ty are roin;; vlthou! almost
everything else.
The average turn p.-yn cents)
a day to keep tho church i going,
hut i.t course tle upkeep of th
movies Is more expensive.
"Among news despatches in Sun
day's papers," says Dr. J. H. Long,
of Lincoln, "I saw one from Osborne,
Kiis., relating that a two months old
Infant was found dead In the crib,
the family cat having Jumped from
the crib at the approach of the child's
mother. Now, in spite of the fact
that by Dr. Brady and some of Lin
coln's defenders of t.ie cat In the late
controversy over pussy's right to life,
liberty and pursuit of happiness, the
Idea that the cat would suck a baby's
breath was called an old woman's
yarn, an exploded Idea, etc. I am
here to say that the charge of child
murder by this lovable, beautiful
feline creature Is horribly, positively
and absolutely true!"
:
"How do I know?" says the doctor.
"I have seen the family pet in the
very act of sucking a child's breath,
lying on tae baby's breast, a paw at
either side of the babe's mouth, the
cat's lips pressing those of the child,
and the Infant's face pale as that of
a corpse, its lips with the blueness
of denth. And I am here to state
that It required twenty minutes hard
work to resuscitate the baby. I do
not know whether t.ie cat sucks the
baby's breath," says Dr. Long, "or
poisons It by exhaling Its own breath
but this I do know and emphatically
assert: the cat is guilty of Infant
murder and no mother should permit
the family pet accpss to the sleeping
room of her child."
The great American public Is
peculiar. This very original observa
, i.... ii .i tr.fi h Kv tho retention
i lull la vai i iru twi," "j
given to the divorce brought against I
Charley Chaplin by Mildred Harris
Chaplin. One would naturally think
that the matrimonial mishaps of tie
most popular screen comedian would
be fine food for curious fish, but Mrs.
Chaplain's sensational disclosures
have failed to raise even a ripple of
excitement. Even the yellowest news
papers didn't print them on the front
page, and unless the front page Is
gained, everything 1 lost, from the
press agents' point of view.
Personally, we thltik that the
custard pie artist Is to be congratu
lated. Two or three times we have
endured movies in whtca the comed
ian's wife was the star, and to be
brutally frank, she gives us a pain.
We have sympathised with Mr. Chap
lin, knowing that he must suffer
more than the ordinary run of
mortals because he possesses a
prontpr fund of temperament. Our
Idea of a lifetime of torture would
be to have a woman like that pour
out our coffee each morning.
The disclosures Millie makes, how
ever, throw an interesting llgat on a
somewhat unpopular subject mothers-in-law.
It seems that Charlie was
eccentric in the matter of clothing.
"He would have been In rags If I
hadn't looked after him and. bought
things for him with my own money,"
Ala wife Is quoted as saying, "I don't
t link he had a decent pair of socks
w.ien we were married, and his shirts
and pajamas and underwear were
frightful, all full or holes and rips
and tears."
However, this sad state of affairs
was corrected by the mother-in-law,
the woman who is the butt of all the
gibes of the comic artists and vaude
villians. "Mother looked after all
that," says Mrs. Chaplin, "and when
she had him fixed up he was de
lighted." We'd think he would be.
What man wouldn't appreciate a
mother-in-law who would take care
of all the work that the wife is sup
posed to do, but doesn't? So far as
we are concerned, we call the Chap
lin tangle a draw, and refuse to
award honors to either party.
This sort of rot harks back to the
days of witchcraft, and aas about as
much foundation as the yarns
that preachers and others used to tell
and believe about old women rid
ing around on brooms or pretty girls
bewitching children. Pretty girls
are bewitching, of course, but not In
the way t.ie chareres used to read.
Perhaps the good doctor is trying to
eet a little publicity, or he may be
only an ordinary chump, but news
paper men ought to have sense It s now up t othe German board
I enough to brand these stories as sillv ' tax commissioners to tell the
superstitions or else lose them. We're former kaiser how much of that
not particularly fond of felines, but $30,000,000,000 Indemnity hi is sup
there are enough things that can be posed to pay.
Francisco Villa says that Mexico
oug.it to go back to the constitution
of 1857. This is the document Abra
ham Lincoln Is said to have praised
as the greatest oi constitutions. If
Pancho were a proper American
bandit he micht conform to the cus
tom of the country and claim to be
"in accord with the teachings of
Abraham Lincoln." Ex.
'j-iz:iJi.c L-nnim a n it u u n n n 11 11 ir
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