TWO
TIIH ALLIANCE IIHIIALD, TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 10, 1920.
vprn Ih'it rnrd the. fact I li n the
Smith. Jones. Robinson. filack and
Tucker families had all purchased
them, and were delighted with tlu
flnvor, but that you had refused to
buy, even when nrped. wouldn't li
ret your poat? And would you not
rather go without beans than patron-
I Ize this partlculnr grocer? You
Borne famous writer possibly might simply yearn for string bean
Commcnt-and
Discommcnt
ha no fliow. They are the gainers An Alliance man bought one of
or an 'unnrncd increment' Just as those mail-order cornets, and the
nn unproprrsGlve firmer whose land! minute the postman brought it he
began to blow the insides out of it.
lie got so he could play "A Wild
Irish Hose" with one hand and one
What we really Intended to write ' lime, when difficulties nroso. Dn nt
about in this column was the new ' the valves stuck. Ills fifty-cent man-
rlsrs in valuo bocause his neighbors
improve their places."
Shakespeare, possibly Oscar Wilde,
possibly Beatrice Fairfax once re
, marked that it is easier to catch flies
With honey than with vinegar. We
bare always been more interested In
idling flies than in catching them,
but It's a good epigram, just the
stme. We are referring to the prac
tice becoming all too prevalent
mong some of our country ex
changes of roasting the merchants
mho do not advertise with them.
Just this last week we find In no
Jess than ten exchanges harsh words
uttered by editors who, lacking in
powers of argument or persuasion,
hope to secure patronage by means
f the crowbar. Now, the crowbar
is In some ways well adapted to ar
gumentative purposes. We know of
nothing that will weaken the reslst
svnre of an unregenerate mule like a
crowbar applied where It will have
the greatest effect.
But an editor can't get business
that way, nor can any other mer
chant browbeat prospective custom
er Into patronising him. Suppose
v strange grocer seized you by the
coat tails when you passed his place
4t business and implored you to
nter and purchase a can of his ex
cellent string beans. You might
ju-rua that you didn't yearn for
beans, or that you were going to
bare rhubarb pie for dinner and that
one vegetable was sufficient. And
ha could insist that canned string
beans were just what you needed,
and yawp about calories and other
uncomfortable things for half an
hour. That's stretching the privll
eges of salesmanship a bit, but If he
weren't too voclfeorus, you probably
wouldn't mind.
fritters, or string bean pie, or string
benn fudpe, but if that man was the
only on? In town who had them in
stock, you'd buy cauliflower, now
wouldn't you? Even if you positive
ly detested cauliflower shortcake?
Now, if this imaginary grocer had
had his wits about him, and really
wanted to make a sale, he'd tell you
enough about his beans to make
your mouth fairly water for them.
A real good salesman could make
you forget that you were to have
rhubarb pie for dinner. He'd tell
you all In perfect truth, mind you,
for the successful salesman will
never lie that string beahs, taken
In time, will prevent freckles, and
may remove them; he'd say that
they will reduce your weight, or
build you up; that they have the
flavor of Arabian spices and that the
taste of rhubarb pie Is as flat as
mashed potatoes In comparison with
them. And if he knew his business,
you'd take six cans home with you,
and place a standing order for them.
dancing regulations the American
national association of dancing mas
ters have recently adopted. Oddly
nough. It's the dancing masters who
now want the dance purged and puri
fied, and made safe, sane and San
ta ry once more. The shimmy and
ho stranglehold must go, they say,
and they havo organized a sort of
reed for the reformers in each town
to start urging. V
Sooner or later, these newspaper
idiota will reform or go out of bus!
ness. They'll get into the habit of
creating a demand for their adver
Using, rather than attempting to
force it down the throats of those
who don't appreciate it, but will,
when they know what results to ex
pect from It when rightly handled
These boys who don't advertise will
advance a lot' of arguments, and
some of them will not be easy to an
swer. You've got to know your sub
ject when you are in the selling
game, whether It is face powder,
chewing tobacco, string beans or dis
play advertising. The more you
know about It, the more you'll sell
But, for the sake of argument,
suppose you resist his blandishments
and wander along home to your rhu
barb pie. That ought to end the in
cldent. Byt this grocer's resentment
has been stirred. He knows that his
string beans are without peer, and
Instead of giving you credit for
knowing what your desires are, he
proceeds to start a campaign to make
you buy, not only string beans, but
tho brand he sells. He starts out
by hinting to other customers of his
that a man of about your age, height
and build, with eyes the shade of
your own sickl) blue ones, with
freckles on his nose located about
where your freckles are displayed, Is
a darned poor citizen, with an espe
cially punk appreciation of quality
groceries. If you heard this, it
might cause you to feel like damning
.. all grocers. Indeed, you might go
farther, and particularize but you
could stand It. with practice.
When we strike a man who Bays
that he has never advertised, and
cites the fact that he is still doing
business at the old stand, with his
books showing a profit on the right
side of the ledger, we don't give up
the ship. It's easy enough to show
this sort of a man that he's simply
losing profits that he might as well
be getting. And if he refuses to be
convinced, we try something else on
him. You can't get business out of
a man by sitting on the fence and
calling him names.
All of which reminds us of one
good thing that we read in one of
these bellyaching articles tm the
gents who refuse to come across
You may appreciate the logic of th
writer, just as we did, but is the
writer UBlng honey or vinegar?
ual, "How to Learn to Tlay the Cor
net in Twenty Lessons, Flat" had no
section on making repairs. In des
peration, he wrote to the company.
The answer came back by return
mall: "Apply a little saliva." He
wrapped up two bits In a piece of
paper and sent it in to the company:
"Please send me a quarter's worth
of saliva by return mail."
The university girls discussed the
momentous question: "What color
was the hair of Lydia E. Pinkham?"
at one of their banquets this week.
We can think of others that we'd
rather have answered.
For instance, Where does a certain
Alliance man spend his evenings?
We won't bawl out our friends.
However, our cigar box Is getting
nearly empty.
We hear, In confidence, that a foot
specialist will attend the Yama Yam a
dance.
We advise the girls to beware.
We hold no brief against the
shimmy. In fact, since our weight
began to accumulate, we've rather
lost interest in the light fantastic
oe stuff. It's probably pretty rank,
to judge from all the resolutions
passed against It. We intend to
take the matter up with Rufus Jones,
the next time we see him, and find
out just how bad it really Is. Rufus
Is our authority on matters terpscl-
chorean, not alone because he can
dance, but because he iBn't tongue-
tied.
The dancing masters suggest ten
plain don'ts for "cleaning up" the
dance. After reading them over, you
may decide for yourself whether
they'd have the desired effect. If
you are deeply stirred, write your
sentiments to this or any other news
paper. It's an interesting subject.
and we'd like to know how you feci
If the dance needs cleaning up, by
all means let's do it, and be ready
to start some other campaign. May
be If we can keep the minds of our
reformers occupied with these
things, they'll let our pet vices alone.
Here's the recommendations, which
have a stringent sound, whatever
that Is:
"Don't permit vulgar, cheap jazz
music to be played.
"Don't permit, young men to hold
their partners tightly.
"Don't permit partners to dance
with checks close or touching.
"Don't permit neck holds.
"Don't permit shimmying.
"Don't permit dancers to take
either exceptionally long or short
steps.
"Don't dance from the waist up
"Don t permit suggestive move
ments.
"Don't permit dancers to copy the
extremes that are now used on the
modern stage.
"Don't hesitate to request objec
tlonal dancing couples to leave the
room."
"Of course there are some busi
ness men who do not advertise and
who still nrosner. Thev are like the
Bnt It this hypothetical grocer small hnv vhn rrnwla linrior thn rfr.
tuck up a card In his front window, cus tent; they get to see the show all
over a stack of those very beans that right, but forget that if everybody
you refused to buy, and inscribed i crowded under the tent there, would
Nerves and Health
THE net work of nerves which carries tho normal flow"
of life-giving energy to every organ and tissue is re
sponsible for the health of the body. These nerves are dis
tributed through, the spinal col
umn. If through, accidents, blows,
Itrains or unnatural curvature the
moveable bones of the spine be
come slightly displaced, they press
on the nerves and obstruct the
free passage of the health-giving
currents. The organs or tissues
fed by the obstructed nerves na
turally become weakened and dis
eased. Pressure on tho nerves
leading to the stomach, for in
stance, is often the cause of stom-)
ACh trouble.
CHIROPRACTIC
by a method of scientific adjustment corrects
these spinal defects,' relieves the pressure on
the nerves and removes the cause of disease.
!Vith normal conditions restored, the life
giving currents have full power to repair and
strengthen, and health results in a natural
way, without the use of drugs or surgery.
No matter what the ailment, experience
proves that it can be relieved through Chiro
practic (KI-RO-PRAK-TIC) adjustments of
certain parts of the spine.
The sick should not be discouraged, even
though they have sought relief for years and
tried every known method of health. -
-- I
Random Shots
This is the
Yama ball.
night of the Yama
Did you see any of the costumes
that Harp got for them. We'll say
they're nifty.
But we know of one exceptionally
skinny dancer who won't be dis
guised, even if he does wear a mask.
The suit he got was too small for
him. It was marked with his name,
and we think they chose it with
malice aforethought.
Our own Priscilla Dean says:
"When a person la fleshy, it is im
possible to be either graceful' or
beautiful."
It's impolite and unwise to dis
pute a recognized authority, but
there are at least two Alliance people
that Prissy has never met.
No use to ask us for the name of
the other one.
Speaking of the Seagull club, we
nominate the defendant.
The latest Invention Is a popcorn
tester, which has been purchased by
most of the. big seed houses. We
have thought that almost any ordi
nary skillet was a pretty fair tester
for popcorn.
There'B only one thing worse than
buying It of bootleggers, it seems,
and that's trying to make it your
self.
Deware of these home outfits.
That's the firat time we ever heard
that apricot brandy had to be dis
tilled. . We had. always supposed it
was mixed, like Martinis.
We live and learn.
tas done wonders in bringing relief in long standing and obstinate'
fates. Investigate and learn what Chiropractlo has done and is doing
' others, and what it caa do for you.
Annie G. Jeffrey
CHIROPRACTOR
Graduate Palmer School
Wilson Block Alliance, Nebraska
One of the school-tecehors, up at
the boarding house, was perturbed
She had received a letter from an ad
mirer (at least we hope the writer
was an admirer) and you should
have heard her: "Why, how absent-
minded I Here he's gone and scrib
bled a lot of X's all over the back
page,"
No, Harold, this is not the one
who asked what, it meant to stand
beneath the mistletoe.
They can't kid us. even If they ars
experts.
Announcement
This week the Silver Grill Cafe wishes to announce to its patrons and the
- general public its change of ownership. The business has been purchased by
the undersigned who will endeavor to conduct the establishment in such a
manner that it will continue to merit a generous share of patronage.
The Silver Grill
will at all times try to serve the public wholesome foods prepared in an appe
tizing and sanitary way. "We will appreciate any business you see fit to give
us and assure you that we will do everything we can to deserve its continuance.
OUR MOTTO: "QUALITY, QUANTITY AND SERVICE"
The Silver Grill
ERNEST RADENBAUOH, Proprietor
ALLIANCE, NEBR.214 BOX BUTTE AVE.
Pay Your Bills by
Check, Madam
Your Butcher, your
Baker, your Grocer
in fact all your accounts
should be paid by check
Then there will be no
arguments about dou
ble charges or under
charges. No trouble
some bills to keep on
file: Your cancelled check is a receipt.
Protection with Convenience
Besides being a convenience, a Checking account is also a protection. You don't have
to keep a lot of cash in the house. Buy your money lies safely in a burglar-proof vault
where it will be paid on demand to whomever you say.
System, Economy, Protection and Convenience all can be had in a Checking
Account. Once you have one you will never want to be without it. Call and
let any one of our officers explain how simple it is to have a checking account
and obtain its benefits.
First State
ONLY BANK IN ALLIANCE THAT GUARANTEES ITS DEPOSITORS PROTECTION
.Bank
N
