TITE ALLIANCE HETJALD, TUESDAY, JANUAKY 20, 1920.
FIVE
At least, bo me of us do.
There was a young man in Bellaire,
Who drew three of a kind and a pair,
But his host, come to find,
Had just five of a kind;
Do you wonder he thought it unfair?
Random Shots
Gas
tie
e
"Do You Want to De Barrled?"
One Alliance man can tell you a
story about those words and how
his curiosity waa responsible for all
of it.
11 v'.-r
it may not be much of a story
(we've never hard all of It) but it
certainly sounds mysterious.
Not a thing to do with the leap
year stuff.
Condensed milk is made by trying
to get a quart of milk Into a pint
bottle, the office boy says.
Here's one of the "Answers to Cor
respondents" we read recently:
Young Mother writes: "How can I
tell when the water Is the right tem
perature for bathing baby?" and the
vnfeeling devil conducting the vol
yum answered: "If the kid gets red
and hollers, the water Is too hot. If
he gets blue and shivers, it's too
eld."
Now some prophet comes who de
clares that we are. all wrong the
proof of the pudding Is not in the
eating, but in the way you feel three
hours after you have eaten It.
Don't you hate those wise guys?
They are telling of a church sol 1st
in Alliance who sang "Rocked in the
Cradle of the Deep" so feelingly that
twenty people left the room seasick.
If this $25 a quart whisky contin
ues so scarce!), the bootleggers will
be after him to sing: "Comin
Through the Rye."
Lee Richmond of the Mlnden
Courier was married the first of the
year.
It's
kid.
a shame to spoil such a nice
What's in a name? The bureau
f war risk insurance have some un
usual ones in their flies. F'rin-tance:
Owen Money lives in Mlddleboro,
Ky. Asad Experience comes from
North Dakota. Mih Gosh Is a Chi
cago ex-eolTlier.
Paris Green is a West Virginia
soldier, and Slaughter Bugg lives
'way down in Louisiana.
And there la Chocolate Candy
Clark from Arkansas and John Al
bert Pancake of West Virginia.
Will Swindle is a Texas man, and
Green Horn comes from Georgia.
Aren't you glad your names
doesn't read like any of these: Toy
Brush, Velvet Couch, Green Hue
Jackson, Wash Day Clouds or Din
ner Bell Page? Or E. Pluribus
Brown?
Through an exchange, we learn
that In the Fiji Islands, pickpockets
or people who take things from
other person's pockets, are rewarded
by having their hands chopped off.
This makes us wonder what be
comes of all the wedding rings.
On the other hand, we had the im
pression that Fiji islanders do not
wear pockets. We had thought that
their clothing was too inadequate,
so to speak. But if they have pick
pockets, there must be pockets to
pick from.
Oh, well we live and learn.
Somehow, there's a vein of sadness
In all poker poetry.
There is another shortage in the
city. They tell us that not a single
bottle of bootleg whisky can be
purchased.
In the language of the stock mar
ket, bids of $25 per quart were of
fered, but no takers.
That's an awful price to pay and
still run the risk of wood alcohol.
Those who are Itching to pay their
Income tax need not fret. The blanks
were delayed in printing, but they'll
be out soon enough.
Ross of Lexington, Neb., Is out for
president again. Mr. Ross is an ac
complished livery stable keeper and
Is the only man who can claim that
he has made the race as often as
W. J. B.
Health note: A shiny nose is a
sign of youth and health.
No woman will believe this, but
Doc Brady says it Is gospel truth.
With bootleg whisky at $25 the
quart, there will be fewer men with
prominently healthful noses.
For Sale Two six room houses
on Sweetwater. Modern except heat.
Price and terms right. Sec Nebraska
Land Company. 4
The True Story
of Asperin
Aspirin is a useful chemical,
being prescribed constantly by
skilled physicians for treat
ment of rheumatic affections,
neuralgia, colds and certain
types of fever.
Aspirin U. D. Co. Tablets are
made by the United Drug Com-,
pany, Boston, whose -agents are.
the Rexall Stores everywhere.
The chemical used is always of
.the very highest grade and the
tablets may, therefore, be de
pended upon with confidence
to yield the maximum of bene-
flclal results' that" may be' ex-
pected from the use of Aspirin.
Fraudulently made Aspirin
Tablets were put on the market
by a Brooklyn toncern. This
has been exploited by one con
cern for the purpose of discred
iting all tablets of Aspirin
made by others. The public
Bhould know that we, as rep
utable druggists, hare never
handled any but Aspirin of
the highest grade.
The Aspirin patent expired
in 1917, and any one can now
make Aspirin and sell it under
that name.
Our customers may depend
upon it that Aspirin U. D. Co.
sold at Rexall Stores only
is everything that the most
careful, most discriminating
and skilled physician could
demand.
In Packages of 12' b, 24's, IOO's
F. E. Hblsten
Alliance, Nebraska
Cotton Seed Cake and Meal
IMMEDIATE AND FUTURE SHIPMENT
We have a few cars enroute for quick delivery. Wire for delivered
price oa Meal, Cake or Hulls.
Choctaw Sales Company
Stock Tarda
Denver, Colo.
Stock Tarda
Kansas City, Bio.
Hotel For Sale
This includes prosperous hotel business,
hotel building: and five town lots; fifteen
bedrooms; dining room serves 150 meals, a
day at the present time. Terms will be rea
sonable. Parties interested inquire at or
call
LAKESIDE HOTEL
Lakeside, Nebr. Same Hatanaka, Prop.
Model 1920 Six is Here
The Rumer Motor Co.
have fust received two car loads including the
new Sport Model and Seven Passenger
Touring Car.
The Sport Model Six
has all the dash and speed the young people of today demand, and
all the comfort and performance, all the mechanical refinements
and improved engineering principles are combined in this beautiful
Sport car, because it contains all the wanted feature,it is "The All
Feature Car." See it in our show rooms. Compare its dozens
outstanding betterments. Ride in it and feel its luxurious gliding
smoothness.
New Case-Six Seven Passenger
Is the car women love to drive. Not until you have ridden in this
new Case Six can you fully appreciate its many comforts and con
veniences. -Every one of its seven passengers participate in its lux
urious riding comforts. There's ample room for all no crowding
no uncomfortable positionno undue fatigue after a long ride. Peo-;
pie admire it for its balance, beauty and exquisite finish. Its ease of
handling makes it a favorite with women drivers. Every structural
superiority every approved engineering principle is found in this
fine car.
It is truly the "All Feature Car." Let us introduce it to you today
Both the Sport and Seven Passenger cars are equipped with the Continnental engine 3Vfc" bore and 54" stroke, develop
ing 50 H. P. Rayfield carburetor, Westinghouso starting and lighting system, Delco ignition, Borg and Beck clutch, wheel
base 126 inches, weight Sportster 3180 lbs., Seven 'Passenger, 3300 lbs. Chassis lubrication Alamite high pressure applied
at 26 points. No grease cups are used. ,
The Name Case Stands
for Quality
Where the name Case is best known it is most respected. For over
three-quarters of a century the J. I. Case T. M. Company has been
recognized as a leader in the mechanical world.
Associated with them in producing the new Case Six are 24 of the best known and most responsible names in the auto
mobile industry. This combination of talent backed by the whole weight of the Case Corporation is your guarantee of a
degree of excellence that has never before been approached in' a motor car at so moderate a price.
Let us give you a demonstration
The Riimer MotorCo
Alliance
Nebraska
Distributors for Western Nebraska