TWO
THE ALLIANCE HERALD. TUESDAY, JANUARY 13, 1920.
Comment-and
Discomment
Women max bow arise and alng.
Housework Is to be made easier. It
la in the throes of "some highly fun-
damental readjustments," and soon
ways of escaro will be provided from
(he Inconveniences and confusions
ander which those who make home-i
happy and comfortable have been la
boring. , The whole question hat
been solved by some lady journalist
who conducts a dally column In a
Chicago, newspaper.
A mere male would have some lit
tle difficulty, after reading thirty or
fourty Inches of thU slush, to know
last what she Is driving at. As near
s we can tell, the secret lies In con
Tlncing oneself that housework la not
hateful, and after that la done, every
thing Is lovely and the goose will be
ananended at a favorable altitude
The writer lists a number of Incon
veniences, such as dull paring knives
Inks a few Inches too low, and wash
ing dishes. These can be overcome,
she asserts cheerfully, and we want
to believe her.
As a matter of record, we will ad-j geranium; carry out the ashes; fill
iy -The greatest inconvenience of nil,
: According to our authority, rests in
the idea that housework Is menial.
ThU impression, she says, originates
In primitive, blunted, narrow minds.
This simplifies things. If your wife
'commences to talk about the drudg
ery of housework, tell her about the
kind of minds that agree with her,
land you may convince her. More
probably you'll have a fight on your
Viands. It isn't safe to argue with
woman about housework. A very
dear friend of ours once got a lasting
gear over his right eye as a result
' At an argument with his wife. Our
jnemory la that it was made with a
meat platter, but it was big enough
to have resulted from a washtub.
mil that dishwashing Is drudgery,
Three times we remember having
washed dishes, and the last two times
It was under compulsion. Of course
there were days In the navy which
we may have forgotten to count, but
thono were exceptional days and I
the stress and excitement of war we
may have done things that we regret
and would hate to do again. We re
call four hours spent in mixing ce
ment for a big wall. Another day
we helped build a road. There are
other things that we might remem
ber if we put our mind to it
We soon discovered that dish wash
log was easy to avoid. We failed to
dry them to suit the duchess, al
though we tried hard. Reluctantly
she choose another assistant, and we
tried to be sorry. It wasn't that we
thought the labor menial In those
days It la doubtful If we knew what
the word meant but we found it
disagreeable. Our Idea of a pleas
ant Job In the kitchen la testing
doughnuts or quartering pie. To this
day we find It Impossible to think of
washing or drying dishes without
shuddering.
It Is odd how a newly married man
will volunteer, in his blindness to
wipe the dishes for his bride. Us-
ually the bride Is tender-hearted and
urges him to go back and smoke, or
feed the kitty, or put some coal in
the furnace. If he is not too blinded
by love, he'll allow himself to be per
suaded. If Cupid's clutches are too
strong, he makes the first mis-step
and the rest of his life will be
hounded by the specter of the after
supper dishes. (We know that the
evening meal should be dinner, not
supper, but in families where they
call It dinner they usually have
maid to do the dishes.)
Those who fall victim to the bland
Ishments of the little imp with the
bow and arrows during leap year will
take this advice, which Is honestly
meant and is offered with the sole
view of decreasing the sufferings of
the male sex. - Accept any other du
ties that the wife may apportion to
you water the canary or the parlor
1
'""4.
How Competition
Helps You
The competition that exists
among the hundreds of meat dis
tributors, large and small, means
v.
-V.
V .
Rivalry in Prices
' Rivalry in Service
Rivalry in Economy
-Rivalry 'in Quality
Swift & Company sells meat
at the lowest possible price, con
sistent with quality and service.
Our profit of only a fraction of a
cent a pound on all products is
evidence of keen competition.
Swift & Company must provide the
best service to your dealer or he will
buy from our competitors. This means
a supply of fine fresh meat always
on hand for you at your dealer's.
Swift & Company must keep down
manufacturing and selling costs, and
use all by-products to avoid waste, or
else lose money meeting the prices of
competitors who do.
Swift & Company must make its
products of the highest quality, or see
you turn to others. This means bet
ter meat for you and a greater variety
of appetizing, wholesome food.
We are as glad for this competition
as you should be. It helps to keep us
on our mettle.
Swift & Company, U.S. A.
But if Friend Wife should discov
er something you do not want her to
know, put on a bold front. Bluff it
out. Now there are two kinds of
bluff, the reiterative kind; which aim
ply repeats and repeats; and the
other kind, which is more tactful and
effective, Suppose, for example, your
wife should find a plug of chewing
tbacco In your pocket. You're a
chump if you leave tt there,' and
there is no way In which you can dl
vert her attention by remarking that
she has no business going through
your coat. She'll Ull you that it
dropped out while she was dusting
It. Women, as all men know, can't
see a coat hanging peacefully on a
nail without being seized with a de
sire to brush It. It's a mania with
them, and you should remember this.
the salt shaker but If a hint Is
dropped concerning dishwashing. In
vent an urgent errand downtown.
We are thinking, in thla connec
tlon, of establishing a department for
"Advice to Leap Year Victims." It
would probably be wasted. The man
who knows the price of shoes and
still allows himself to be persuaded
Into marrying on a salary really de
serves all he gets. But ours is i
kind heart. We are Immune to onyj
one kind of suffering that of the
man who hates to pay bills. And
we are willing to go out of our way
to lighten the burden of the Leap
tear bridegrooms.
Bear In mind that It's compare
tlvely easy to deceive the fair sex,
despite all talk of feminine intuition.
Thia doesn't mean that you are to
behave rashly or with Impunity or
any other woman, for it Is always
well to be cautious, whether sitting
in a poker game or buying bootleg
liquor. Take no needless chances,
for women sometimes suspect what
they do not know and you'll be kept
busy quieting suspicions a good share
of the time, no matter how angelic
and without reproach your conduct
may be.
At any rate, we'll suppose that hb
has found the tobacco. Don't evade.
Don't cay that someone slipped It
Into your pocket by mistake, or to
get a Joke on you. Say that you had
tremendous toothache, and that
you bought a plug to take your mind
of the pain. Say anything, so long
as it sounds reasonable, and stick to
Once you waver, or show that
you wish you had selected another
Excuse, you are lost.
We remember one time when the
duchess found a handful of cigars
in our coat pocket. We were in our
senior year at high school, and had
Just learned how to draw on a cigar
without getting kick. They were
goo dclgara. We brought them home
one night and went to bed after
smoking one of them out of the bed
room window. For a wonder, Eddie
didn't threaten to tell on us. Maybe
he hoped we'd slip him one. We
came downstairs in the morning and
there was the duchess, smiling and
cheerful. No Indication that any
thing was wrong.
On our wa yto school, we felt for
those cigars, and they were not
there. We recalled that the duchess
had handed out our coat. We knew,
In the parlance of the schoolboy, that
we were "in for it." But did we de
spair? Not on your tintype. We
rushed into the house at noon, and
demanded of her: "What did you
do with those cigars?" "I took them,
of course," responded the duchess
Give them back," we demanded. It
took her by surprise but she
hopped on to us, and .hopped hard.
We stopped her. "Aw, shucks," we
remonstrated, "them cigars are trick
cigars, and we got them to give to
the boys in the office. They's powder
In them, and when they smoke 'em
so far, they blow up," we told her.
She handed them over without an
other word, and worried all after
noon for fear the boys would be la
Jured in the explosion. Of course,
It was fortunate that dad wasn't at
home. He might have been hard to
convince.
So, we say, use diplomacy. Use
tact. Use your head. We do not
advUe you to falsify If there is any
other way out. We have a wide
acquaintance among married men,
and we have found it very seldom
that one of them deliberately lies,
He may exaggerate occasionally, be
may be evasive, but he will not de
ceive the partner of his Joys and the
sharer of his sorrows. Honesty is
the best policy. Married men usual
ly find, after a few attempts, that
this Is gospel truth.
PRICES WILL SOAR,
SAYS SHOE) DEALER
CINCINNATI, O.. Jan. 7 Today
before the annual convention of the
National Shoe Travelers' association,
J. B. Byrne of Rochester, N. Y., pres
ident of the association, predicted a
60 per cent advance In the prices of
shoes next summer.
- Byrne said that when milady ap
pear on the streets wearing glased
or colored shoes, she Is wearing
something approximately worth their
actual weight in silver. He also
said that there are plenty of grades
of cheap leather for shoes, but that
foe
ami Berie
to make preparations for the next Christmas right now.
How much would it have helped to have received a check for one hundred or more dollars
last holiday time! ou could have purchased all the gifts you wished and have money left
over, perhaps. . . '
We have organibed the simplest, most convenient method of raising this extra hundred for
you. Just place $2 each week to your credit for a period of fifty weeks. Next Christmas,
in plenty of time, just when you are most in need of extra money (think of your expenses
which fall due about the first of the year) yu '11 have it.
If $2 a week is more than you can handle, select a smaller one. Any sum you determine
Jftn av v cTe?08lted' Figue up your holiday expenses, divide them by fifty and START
1UDAY by Saving. In addition to your principal you will receive
J?l!e Je cla88C.8 of ?avin8 dubs which we have organized to help you form the habit
of thrift. Both continue for fifty weeks. If you commence with a given amount and each
neA,JrCrife epS81Lb? n amoun qual to that with which you commenced the
? mL. -m ,thl 2cPub : FVrat week' deposit 2c 5 8econd week 4c 5 third . 6c i te.
l he other club includes those members who deposit a certain sum weekly for fifty weeks,
with no increase in the amount deposited. The various clubs and the amounts follow:
50 Weeks
With Deposits in Multiples
lc Club amounts' to .
2c Club amounts to - .
6c Club amounts to . .
10c Club amounts to .
50 Weeks
With Straight Deposit
- - - $ 12.75 25c Club amounts to -
25.50 50c Club amounts to -
- - 63.75 $1.00 Club amounts to -
. - . 127.75 $5.00 Club amounts to .
X-Club includes those making any amount regularly, the same each week.
$ 12.50
25.00
50.00
250.00
First
State
Bank
ONLY BANK IN ALLIANCE THAT GUARANTEES ITS DEPOSITORS PROTECTION
Buy OneGet Two
Wad
Positively every Georgette "Waist in our well filled, stylish stock will be offered on this
tremendous saving plan. You will find for y our selection dainty garments of this popular
and beautiful material in modes that are cert ain to please.
I ?u
Come in and See Thei
THE PLAN
v You may choose the Waist that pleases you, for example,
one costing $10. You will receive another $10 waist, of your
own choice ABSOLUTELY FREE OF CHARGE,
Make your dollars go
I'll) tM)irt 7ic in n Ui
"Two-for-One" Sale.
Ladies' Silk Ladies' Silk
Gloves Hose
We have 25 dozen pairs of Ladies' Silk In this lot are 35 dozen of high grade
Gloves, worth up to $2 not a pair worth Pos,.tliat we wiU clean UP we are not
less than $1.50. You will find these hand- J TfTf E?ore' Eludes
some, .erviceable-an exceptional value, 1
while they last at twice as much. To clean up at
50c 69c
DOUBLE
YOUR
' DOLLARS
BUY
FOR THE
FUTURE
the publie does not want them. Ad
vertisement.