TWO
THE ALLTAKCK HERALD, ALLIANCE, NEBRASKA, JANUARY 6, 1920.
Comment-and
Discomment
PROMISED "TO M53-T A
V MY WIFE ATV JlofeLoC- '
In these davs. when the doings of
the gain boilers and poker players art
Almost as Interesting aa the tales of
husbands who refuse to stay at home
nights, wt are minded to tell the
fcest poker story we're heard In
year. This la It.
Three brothers II Ted down In Mis
1 ftourt, who were ehampeen poker
players. One of the boys finally
moved to Wyoming, reformed and
vent to the other extreme of becom
ing a preacher. The aged father,
while on a visit to the latter boy, was
suddenly taken 111 and died, and the
preacher wired his other two broth
ers, who were still In Missouri and
In and Iniquity, as follows: "The
Lord called father last night." The
answer came promptly back: "How
much did father lose and what kind
of a hand did the Lord bold?"
All of which reminds of the touch
ing little ballad that Doc Tanner
ang at, the minstrel show that the
editors put on during their last ex
cursion. It was to the tun of
"Mother," but the words ran like
ibis: .
P Is for the pup who tsught me
noker:
O Is for the "owe" in I. O. TJ.; ,
K is for the kind or hands they
dealt me.
E Is for the easy mark I be.
It Is for the royal flush they held
out
When they dealt me queens and
. aces three.
Take them all together they spell
Foker,
The game that made a bum of me!
Bat to get away from political
questions, well discuss the efforts of
certain estimable ladles back east
Massachusetts Is certainly back east
In the land of fair women and mort
gages. If youll recall the plays they
used to feature on the kerosene cir
cuit. These ladles have declared war
on the cigarette and hare banded to
gether to put It out of business. The
next big fight, they say, after na
tional prohibition Is assured beyond
tope of referendum, will be to down
the coffin nail and save the boys.
It ts 4 eminently fitting and proper
that this movement to save the boys
should start In Massachusetts. That
tate Is the only one, and the census
figures for 1910 are available to
prove It, In which there were more
women of marrlagable age than men.
But why should they try to save Ne
' fcraska boysT The average Day State
woman wouldn't live out In this bar
Jb&rous west If they'd give her a man.
We had some little experience with
Ihe bean eaters both sexes and
Ihey aren't strong for us. During
Ihe war they made allowances the
dear girls are patriotic, bless their
jhearta and managed to love the sol
diers and sailors for their country's
ttake, but now that the excitement la
over, ten to one . their Ideal man is
one who carries a dictionary In one;
Hand and goes to prayer meeting
with the other.
A discussion of . feminine pulchri
tude Is always admissible, if con
ducted purely from an high-minded
And aesthetic point of view, of
course. During our . naval career,
which was too largely confined to
shore stations in the east, we had
an opportunity to observe the vari
ous types of beauty of at least a
half-docen of those states, and our
preference just naturally falls on
Rhode Island. It's a small state, but
the average Is high. It may be that
one reason Is that this state is honey
combed with mills, and that nine out
of ten of the girls are mill hands,
and have the opportunity to buy
fancy cloth for clothes at lower
prices than their Bisters. All we
could judge by was the general ef
fect time and money was lacking to
make a complete and thorough inves
tigation in the interest of science
and we are frank in saying that there
are more pretty girls in the average
small mill town in Rhode Island than
In the whole city of Boston.
Massachusetts, according to the
same census mentioned before, is
fast becoming a colony of old maids.
Therefore it Is natural that this state
should be the. leader In legislation af
fecting women. It Is natural that it
should lead in legislation In favor of
dumb animals, And it is also fitting
and proper that the ration-wide at
tack on the deadly cigarette should
come from this source. With thou
sands of women who have nothing to
do but mind the canary bird and give
the kitty Its morning bath, small
wonder that their minds should turn
toward regulating what they know
least about the habits of the
sterner sex.
We hold no particular brief for
the cigarette. The friends we have
with the possible exception of Rufe
Jones smoke vile brands that pol
lute the atmosphere. Some of these
cigarettes are stronger-than our pet
pipe, and others are as rotten as the
cigar a paper salesman handed us
this afternoon. The scamp was wise
he gave It to us after he had got
Glasses s 1
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his order. We don't like cigarettes,
not because they , are supposedly
deadly, -but. because they don't last
long enough to give a man a real
smoke. It's a pest to keep on light
ing them. We never accept a cigar
ette as long as someone will give us
tobacco.
But is the cigarette as deadly as
these women seem to believe T Of
course very few of thtm have first
hand Information, and they are ex
cited only because of what they have
read. There has been a lot of guff
spilled about the deadly influence of
tobaccoand a lot of praise of the
weed has been fully as nonsensical.
Medical opinion can be found to sup
port almost any opinion one wishes
to hold. Some doctors will say that
the cigarette is deadly, but that the
pipe Is comparatively harmless and
the cigar mildly Injurious. Another
physician says that the cigar Is least
harmful the cigarette next' and the
pipe the instrument of thousands of
deaths. Still another physician may
hold up the pipe and tell of the curse
of the pipe and cigarette.
Far be it from us to declare for
any .one of them, or curse any. We
get a moderate enjoyment from a
cigar, provided someone else buys it
and provided'; further, that it tastes
not of sumac, the Jlmpson weed or
the lowly cabbage. Our pipe is a won
derful companion, save that we are
vexed every day or so when we let
her drop and the stem Is busted. Cig
arettes are welcome when pipe or
cigar are not at hand. We have a
theory that the use of the weed helps
keep our weight down to normal, and
If any physician seeks to disprove
this, we warn him that we will not
argue the question. That's our po
sition, and' we will stick to it, no
matter whether we are proved wrong
or not. We have illustrious prece
dent for our attitude. We know of
one Alliance man whose own sworn
statement has proved him mistaken,
but he will not admit himself con
vinced.
What we seek Is Information. If
someone will conclusively prove to
us that tobacco is harmful, we'll con
centrate on the least harmful way of
using tobacco unless it turns out to
be cigarettes or snuff. One funny
thing about the tobacco business is
that the majority of those who are
best fitted to know its harmful ef
fects the physicians are among
the most confirmed users. We
checked over twenty-five Lincoln
physicians, a year or two ago, and
out of the twenty-five, but two were
abstainers. Remember, we are speak
ing of tobacco. Out- of the twenty-
three, three-fourths of them smoket
cigarettes.
We spoke to one of them about
the matter, and he told us that he
used cigarettes because they were
the least harmful. Our Informant
was the leading surgeon in Lincoln
some folks call him the leading sur
geon in the state and a few of his
friends say "west of Chicago," which
takes In a lot of territory. He's one
of the few men that the writer would
be willing to have cut into him. Bear
in mind that we do not yearn to
have anyone pry into our depths;
the operating table has no charms
for us. We dislike the thought of
it, wholly apart from the expense.
This surgeon said that a number
of his colleagues. In fact quite a per
centage of the members of his pro
fession believed the cigarette to be
the most harmful way of using to
bacco. Be didn't agree with them,
lie had tried them all, save snuff,
and he found that a cigar or a pipe
made its effect known on his nerves
and a cigarette had no such effect
When a man Is performing all sorts
of operations, day in and day out
in some of them where a hair's
breadth difference in using the knife
might mean the loss of a life his
word on the tobacco question ought
to be worth something.
Oh, well! - The girls back in Mas
sachusetts don't Intend to put a stop
to anything but cigarettes. We may
still smoke our pipe, and a cigar
when we can afford it, or when a
salesman drops in. But we do hope
the girls aren't making a mistake.
We hope they'll. thresh It all out In
sewing circles to the music of par
rots and canaries. It would be bet
ter they'd realize this if they were
married to have their husband
smoke cigarettes than eat onions or
cabbage, but they haven't any hus
bands and their chances of getting
them are slimmer than those of their
sisters out west. Their motive
troubles us a bit is it the revenge
of spinsterhood, or is it simply an
other thing for idle hands to dbf
vut aaaaat af vort m nmahM to b M Ueft Ota
tarmtiaa mt war haa ainnrity aVIartd aad awarn.
laUrf. .W tat mok w taat nT Ura capital
azaraditaraa aacat to ba auUa to ataa aa lar taa iatar
raatiaaa taaritailjr m to taa aw, aad to pi'pra taa ratk
roaii to mm a4naat.fr taa iacnaaea' traCa tWaagaa
tat aaantry. WALKER D. HIKES.
Otrtrnw Otmtral of taaVaaaV,
V'rf
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Work more
Produce more
Save more
in..: w.:
At least, if the worst comes to the
worst, it will be easy for a man to
stack his cellar with cigarettes. Pic
ture the day when it will be neces
sary to hide when rolling your own,
or taking one from the case. Think
of the numbers that will be thrown
in Jail. There'll be a cigarette squad
to every police department, and the
one alibi will be cubebs unless
they, too, 'are prohibited by law.
But that would be too much to ex
pect. The mllennlum isn't due to ar
rive for a few years yet.
But we can't continue increasing our
production unless we continue increasing
our railroad facilities.
The farms, mines and factories cannot
increase their output beyond the capacity
of the railroads to haul their products.
Railroads are now near the peak of their
carrying capacity.
Without railroad expansion more en
gines, more cars, more tracks, more ter
minalsthere can be little increase in
production. '
But this country of ours is going to
keep right on growing and the railroads
must grow with it.
To command in the investment markets
the flow of new capital to expand railroad
facilities and so increase production
there must be public confidence in the
future earning power of railroads.
The nation's business can grow only as
fast as the railroads grow.
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If you want to know what rare and
unusual enjoyment Camels provide
smoke them in comparison with any
cigarette in the world at any price !
CAMELS are a cigarette. revelation any
way you consider theml Take quality,
or refreshing flavor and fragrance; or, that
wonderful mellow-mild -smoothness you
never before got in a cigarette smoke 1 Yet
Camels are so full-bodied and so full-of-satisfaction
you marvel that so much de
light could be put into a cigarette!
. , Camels expert blend of choice Turkish
and choice Domestic tobaccos makes them
so irresistibly appetizingl And, the blend
explains why it is possible for you to smoke
Camels liberally without tiring your taste 1
You will prefer Camels to either kind
of tobacco smoked straight!
Youll realize pretty quick, too, that
among the many reasons you smoke Camels
is their freedom from any unpleasant ciga
retty aftertaste or unpleasant cigaretty odor 1
Once you know Camels you won't
take much stock in premiums, coupons
or gifts! You'll prefer Camel quality!
R. X REYNOLDS TOBACCO CO., Winton-Slom, N, C
:p :.:t.
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