TWO
THE ALLIANCE HERALD, ALLIANCE, NEBRASKA, DECEMBER 9, 1919.
Comment-ahd
Discomment
Newspaper warn have their amuB-
ln Ma 1a thtfilrlnsr nnl ft Inn A
of the Cattle of Alliance, but of an
I aMM AD OA I h n I hoi 1 ftat IAP.
JIlUvl ir C Pit Uptic I 1 1 i una Judi
fnlnated at Holyoke, Col. We have
jb&n somewhat at a disadvantage In
following this latter campaign, as we
receive but one of the Holyoke news
papers, The Enterprise, but Its editor"
U a long-winded as well as long-suffering
cuss, and he's reprinted
nough of his opponent's drivel ' to
give us a fair Insight Into what the
racket's all about.
It appears that the enterprising
editor of The Enterprise started the
crap. The school children In the
grades wanted a phonograph, and the
thought came to him that they might
solicit subscriptions fohls paper on
commission basis and earn It. The
fclds were delighted with the Idea,
And within two or three days had j
-&roel fifty dollars. Then the green
Ttd competitor jumped Into the
fame. Complaint was made to the
cnool board, and the principal com
pelled the children, not only to cease
earning money, but to take back all
(hat they had earned. All hopes of
phonograph went glimmering.
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Then the opening gun was fired In
the War of Holyoke. The Enter
prise editor lambasts his opponent as
follows:
'The meanest man of the lowest
imaginable principles has again
sprung up In the shape of dried-up
Aftermath of political scum and the
dupe of little Germany during many
campaigns conducted during the
tlack years when a man's vote was
controlled by a drink from a bottle
or a threat from the "higher-ups,"
jrho controlled their jobs and their
daily bread.
"Being unable because of his past
U longer practice his unprincipled
and degrading methods on men, he
Bow confines his underhanded polit
ical schemes to the realms of purity
fuid Innocence the school room so
that tbe autocracy of 'little Ger
many,' who furnish him with a few
crusts in return for shouldering the
tlaroe for their near crimes in fleec
ing the public and to hide their ef
forts to. rule the town as did the
kaiser in Germany.
"He has now retired to his den,
like a yellow cur, gloating over the
fact that he and his pack, have suc
ceeded in crushing the aftorts of a
few little children to gain something
of their own, of educational value
and a valuable assot to their school."
. This frightful Indictment was evi
dently answered. It seems almost
impossible that anyone could think
up answer to anything so crushing.
Almost as Impossible as anyone get
ting King Bennle's goatt But Editor
Damewood, the alleged villain, came
back with an offer to buy the Instru
ment "with not strings attached." In
other words, he agrees to put up $60
to pay half the expense of buying a
phonograph. Here's how The Enter
prise swatted that suggestion:
"In your chlllenge to the Enter
prise, In which you pledge 1 50 of
some one's money for the purpose
of purchasing a phonograph for the
school children with no "strings at
tached," we, after looking over our
books, find that you are Indebted to
us for $78. This account is for serv
ices rendered and Is now past due.
Now, we are going to go you one
better than your $50 pledge. You
can take the $78 which you owe us
and put it with the somebody's $50, J
which makes a total of $128, enough
to buy a phonograph for the children.
"We know you have suffered re
morse your acknowledged $50 re
pentance assures us of that fact, and
by so doing you have at least made
visible a small spark of manhood,
which should again entitle you to a
limited level among human beings,
and an opportunity to raise your
head from the shameful altitude to
which It has fallen. Yours has been
a hard road for the past week, and
we pity you for the miserablcness
which you brought on yourself by
your own solicitation. We trust that
this one act, though it be & degraded
one, be stricken from your record by
the Almighty when the great reaper
paints "30" over the entrance to
your den. You deserve this consid
eration for your remorse, for even
though you be one of the lowly, you
have repented publicly, and may the
Lord have mercy on your 'wretched
soul."
; This time the villain In the plot
evidently repudiated the $78 indebt
edness, for the third week of the
Holyoke war the Enterprise, under
the head, "Bolshevlki Blood of Low
ly Pastepot Editor Crops Out'
prints these jolts:
; "Great shades of Trotsky! Holyoke
has been invaded by the principles
of bolshevlsm and now. all that re
mains to be done to 'get out from
under' a load that not only causes
sleepless nights but great anxiety and
extreme uneasiness during every
waking moment is to repudiate all
debts. So did the aspiring members
of the Russian soviet, and the 'paste
pot' editor of the .so-called news
paper down the street, a person
called C. E. Damewpod, has availed
hlmBolf of the simple and convenient
method originated by the denizens of
Bolshcland. The method is simple.
A mere matter of denying the debt
and it's all over with sometimes.
But not in this case7. '
"We don't Intend to resort to the
old primitive method of 'taking it
out of your hide,' Damewood, but
unless we see the seventy-eight dol
lars coming forthwith by Monday
morning we will put our check for
$50 in the hands of the district treas
urer, and we will depend upon our
rights as American citizens and pro
tection of the courts to get what Is
due us from you, for we have wasted
enough time and paper writing, and
taking you duns."
We've looked over the last issue
of the Holyoke paper Jn vain for
further news of the war. Not a
single word or line. It makes us
wonder. Did the villain Damewood
come across with the $78 alleged to
be due, and are the children in the
Holyoke schools marching In orderly
array to the strains from a bright
new phonograph 7 Or did Dame
wood find a way to cork his oppon
ent up? Or is the whole matter
now in the hands of the courts? Oh,
well
Our real idea In printing this,
aside from amusing Herald readers,
was to assist our own opponent, who
finds his editorial pencil a little un-
wleldly for him at times. We can
asure Ben that for wealth and flow
of language, for burning words and
fiery invective, he need look no
farther. Far better to follow the ex
ample of the Holyoke Enterprise
than the one he is now following.
You can easily entertain the' aver
age man if you will let him brag on
himself. Buckshot.
After you eat always take
ATONIC
Instantly relieves Heartburn, Bloat
d Gassy Feeling. Stops food souring,
' repeating, and all stomach miseries.
Aids dlsaatioa and appatita. Kaap atomach
limt ami atronff. Iaeraaaaa Vitality and Pap.
EATOH1C It tha beat ramadr. Tan of thou
sand wondarfaUy banantad. Only eoata a cant
or two a day to oa it. Poaittraly a-uarantaad
to piaaaa or wa will rarona monay. uat a Ms
I on wiu aaa.
F. J. BREXJfAIf,
Alliance, Nebraska
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for further Information
Concerning Christmas Banking Clubs
AT THIS TIME MANY ALLIANCE PA
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