Thnrtday, June 5th, 1919.
THE ALLIANCE (NEBRASKA) HERALD
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Lloyd's Column
It was the youngster's first experi
ence at Sunday school and he pat
eaperly watching the superintendent
illustrate the lesson on the board.
The superintendent drew the path to
heaven one straight line and
started the figure of a man on it.
Gradually the man became larger
and larger, and finally when be ar
rived nt the Rate of heaven he could
not get in. Whereupon the superln
tendnet turned to his small audience
and in a tragic and sorrowful tone
said: "You see, he ts so puffed up
with sin that he cannot enter." "Try
hi msideways, mister!" called out
the youngster. ,
'
A couple of old codgers got into a
quarrel and landed before' the local
magistrate. The loser, turning to his
opponent In a combative frame of
mind, cried: Til law you to the cir
cuit court." "I'm willin." said the
other. "An I'll law you to the su
preme court." ' Til be thar." "An
I'll law to 'ell!" "My attorney'll be
there," was the calm reply.
His client was being sued for di
vorce by her husband and the attor
ney was trying to get her as much
alimony as possible. Right in the
middle of a flow of eloquence the at
torney was Interrupted by the hus
band, who said to the court: "Your
honor, I have suddenly decided to
withdraw my suit, and if my wife is
willing, I would like to have her
come back to me." Pressed for ex
planation, he said: "Mr. Blackstone
has presented er in such an attrac
tive light that I've fallen in love
with her all over again."
"Don't talk fo me about the won
der of past ages,' ' said Uncle Joe
Cannon. "The world today Is far
more wonderful 'an ever before.
Just think. It took Columbus as
many months as it now takes days to
cross the ocean, and we talk about
flying and traveling a mile' a minute
as though It were nothing. Why, the
other day I dropped Into a country
school Just in time to hear the teach
er ask: 'Johnny, into what two
great classes is the human race di
vided? And Johnny answered
promptly: 'Motorists and pedes
trians.' That's what I call progress.
After awhile there won't be any
pedestrians.' "
to
Bishop Sanford Olmsted said In
Denver: "Bigotry, even in its mildest
form, makes me smile, for it calls up
the story about the old lady. An old
lady and John, her coachman, were
bo bigoted that no recognized church
service suited them, and so they
used to worship together every
Sunday in th edrawing-rooui of the
mansion. A friend remonstrated
with the old lady one day. 'Do you
Teally think that you and your
coachman,' she said, 'are the only
true members of the only Un
church on earth?' 'Well. Bf.H the
bigoted old lady, thoughtfully. 'I'm
none too sure about John.' " San
Francisco Argonaut.
'
' Colonel Roosevelt never wearied
of telling the story of Littledale. a
story In illustration of reBOurcfulness
and pluck. He would begin: "Dur
lng some amateur theatricals In my
early youth Lltledale, one of the per
formers, had to leap Into a river In
order to escape from some wild
beasts. The stage was so arranged
that the river waa Invisible, but Lit
tledale was to be aeen Jumping from
the cliff. Behind the scene he was to
land on a soft mattress while at the
same moment a rock, dropped into a
tub of water, created the necessary
and effective splash. But, altho the
leap had been all right at rehearsal,
everything went wrong on the night
of the performance. Neither mattress
nor tub was in place. Poor Little
dale made the leap all right, but he
landed eighteen feet below, on the
oaken (lour, and there wasn't any
splash to drown the crash, either.
The audience, expecting to hear a
splash, but bearing instead the
thunderous crash of Llttledale's
body as it struck the floor, began to
laugh, but the actor, tho dazed by
the fall, silenced them by shouting
from below: 'By haevens. the river's
frezen!' Then he fainted. San
Francisco Argonaut.
". Novel Dance.
The word "ball," as applied to a
dancing party, came to be used In the
first Instance from an ancient "ball
play" given in church by the dean and
choir boys of Naplestdurlng the Feast
of Fools at Easter. At subsequent
dancing parties in Naples the dancer?
threw a ball at one another to the
sound of their own singing. They
whirled about In measured time, and
the sport consisted In loosening hands
in time to catch the ball.
In 1915 the United States Import
ed 10.670.888 pounds of dried figs
from Portugal. No fige were Import
ed by Germany or Russia, formerly
the largest buyers. .
The farm woodlots of the United
States contain about 10 per cent of
the total standing timber in the
country.
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PATES t2S0 ! DO'N
f0 Rjois With nvni $2X0
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IUJ i-yis win n.ni M.OU
Y7RIGLEY5 good, we
must keep it cood until
you fiet.lt. '
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Hence the sealed package
Impurity-proof guarding,
preserving the delicious con
tents the beneficial goody.
The Flavor Lasts
SEALED TIGHT
KEPT RICRT
Airplanes Will Help Surveyors.
In the arid wastes of Australia,
where travel Is exceedingly difficult
and painful, and Is like regions In the
deserts of Africa, airplanes will make
It easy to survey riiore square miles
n a month than could be seen by
means of any land vehicles In a year. It
will be possible to get a true bird's
eye view of every part of the earth's
surface. No dangers Involved tn such
work are likely to daunt men who
have faced and survived the perils of
aerial fighting.
Minute Men.
The Minute Men were a class of citi
zens pledged to take the field al a min
ute's notice. They were first known
during and Immediately previous to
the War of the Revolution and after
ward at the beglnnmg of the Civil war.
Sometimes they were regularly en
rolled as militia.
Th M.,.t, B.4
The musk rat. a its name would In
alcate. Is a species of rat. It is found
nowhere but In America. Its body It
shaped like that of the ordinary rat,
but Instead of the short, close hair
or the land species. It Is covered by a
thick reddish-brown fur. and because
It lives much In the water It liss
webbed tons. Although very awkward
on land. It Is lively and playful la
water, and Is a great swimmer and
diver.
Plan Wtll Befort You Begin.
In our hurry to ! things we often
begin before we Imve n clear Idea of
What Is to be dune. We too often go
on general riltlons without study
Jng all the fnctn. The result Is disas
trous.
The Original Stub Ponn.
From a magazine urticle: "U'llhsm
Penn was a short, stubbv m
Boeton Transcript.
Real Leisure.
Leisure is time for doing something
useful. This leisure the diligent man
will o'-in, but the lary never; for "a
life of insure and a life of laziness
are two things." Benjamin Franklin.
Look for ' All In seated
the name: packages.
B - Helps appetite
gs TtSLT and digestion. Eg
( S v Tbrce flavors, fH
m lif'TC H
IT JMLI O not enough to make m
NOTICE
All accounts due Snoddy &
Mollring are payable to Snoddy
& Graham, at the same address
Snoddy & Graham
Palestine' Salt Mountain.
Palestine possesses a remarkable
salt mountain situated at the south end
of the Dead sea. The length of the
ridge Is sis miles, with an average
width of three-quarters of a mile, snd
the height Is not far from 600 feet
There are places where the overlying
earthy deposits are msny feet In thick
ness, but the mass of the mountain
Is composed of solid rock salt, some
of which Is as clear as crystal.
The sun will continue to Rive out
Hs present amount of heat for 30,
000,000 rs.
W. J. LEO
PLUMBER
PHONE
1-6-1
Autogenous Welding
' DONE BY TUB
Ox-Weld Process
No job too large nor complicated
WORK DONE BY
GEO. H. BRECKNER
ONE OF THE BEST OPERATORS
i IN TOE MIDDLE WEST.
Located at
CARROLL'S BLACKSMITH SHOP
2nd and Laramie
CRA NDLER SIX $f7..9'5
Come and See the New
Most Beautiful Big-Car Offering otthe Season,
and the Price is Only. $1795
THE new Chandler touring model is here. We have waited for it. Old Chandler
owners have waited for it. It's here now and we are all proud and happy.
The Chandler of the past has had splendid bodies, but the new Chandler touring car
even surpasses its immediate fore-runner' in beauty of line, in bigness, in comfort of
its cushioning, in the nicety of its custom-like workmanship and in its lustrous linish.
The new Chandler Touring is a big car. Its high hood and radiator, its broad cowl,
its wide and deep doors give it distinctive appearance.
And it RIDES, it rides like a dream
Nothing has been cut out to permit the delivery of this
fine bill touring car at the Chandler price. Indeed, many
little details of nicety are added. The back curtain window
is beveled plate glass. The clear-vision side curtains fit
snugly and open with the'doora. .There are detachable rear
quarter-bow curtains. There are outside door handles.
Features which have been standard Chandler qualities in
the past are continued. The cushions are upholstered in
genuine hand-buffed plaited leather. The front compart
ment floor boards are covered with heavy gray linoleum,
aluminum-bound. The two comfortable auxiliary chairs
fold away, entirely concealed, when not in use.
Carrying tHis Handsome Body
Is the Famous Chandler Cnassis
You will choose the new Chandler touring for its bigness
and its comfort and its handsome dignity. But you will
choose it, too, for its mechanical excellence. Fifty thou
sand Chandler owners know, better than we can tell you,
what a good car the Chandler is. The famous Chandler
motor and the sturdy excellence of the whole cbatis make
the Chandler notable among fine cars.
The Chandler continues for 1919 all its distinguisheJ
mechanical features; solid cast aluminum motor base
extending from frame to frame, silent chain drive for the
auxiliary motor shafts, annular ball bearings, Bosch
Magneto ignition and many other features of design and
equipment characteristic of the highest-daw motor car
construction.
SIX SPLENDID BODY TYPES
Seven-Piumtrr Tturimg Car, H79S fmr-Fusteter RoaJittr, JJ795
tnur-fauiufr Dispattk Car, HtS
CtmvertUU Stdum. IMS CfvrrttHt Coupe, S239S Umuuuu. 13U9S
Alt trite , .. . Cleveland
CHANDLER-HUPMOBILE AGENCY
Corner Snd St. and Iramie
6CIIWABR BROS, Prop.
Alliance, Nebraska
CHANDLER MOTOR CAR COMPANY, CLEVELAND, O.
.iiioiiiiin
