-4 J.
Thorsday May 29th, 1919.
THE ALLIANCE (NEBRASKA) HERALD
6
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Lloyd's Column
AN E.XAITLK FDK ALLIAMR
The crowd which rush Into the
Mreets of Alliance whenever the
eiren call of the fire whistle la beard
should beware of the Breeding fire
truck as It rebounds after striking
the spring breakers (surface storm
"ewers) at the street Intersections.
A small town In Arkansas is in a
similar plight, according o the fol
lowing clipping from the Helena,
Arkansas, World:
Citizens are warned to keep off the
streets when the new motor-driven
hose wagon is making a run to a
fire. The vehicle is capable of great
speed, and the practice of running to I
the middle of the street to "see the'
fire wagon pass" should be discon
tinued from this time forward. Such
practice will hereafter be attended
by considerable danger to life and
limb. Citizens should remain within
doors, or at least refrain from run
ning Into the streets, when the new
hoseswagon is passing to a fire.
A Crowded lied.
An Alliance insurance firm, dur
ing the last of the influenza epidem
ic, received a claim for sick benefit
on a policy written by the firm, with
the following explanation:
"I beg to advise you that I am now
, recovering from the flu. I took to
my bed with It four weeks ago. Was
followed by my wife, my daughter
and the hired girl." Boy, take a bot
tle of soothing syrup to room 52.
"Hooverize? Why we don't know
what it means," laughed Mr. Hoover
himself shortly after his trip to Eur
ope. "I think the real 'Hooverlzer
as you call it,, was the Frenchman
who lived on Ihree francs a week.
Eat ezz simple, valre simple,' he ex
plained. 'Sunday I go to zee house of
tee good friend and zere I done so
extraordinary and eet so valre much
I eet no more till zee Wednesday.
Zen I go to zee restaurant and zere 1
order zee tripe and zee onions. I
abhore zee tripe, and ze onions too,
and togezzer zey mak me so seek 1
have no zee appetite till ze Sunday
come again. Et is valre simple."
A boy was down and another boy
was standing over him. A stranger
came along and said to the boy who
seemed to have had the worst of rt:
"If you are licked, you ought to say
you have had enough." "That's all
Tight, mister, but so long as I've the
go in me to say I've had enough I'm
not licked."
At a Washington reception a lady
whispered4 in a shocked volce to Sen
ator Nelson: "Look at that girl! I
never saw such a decollette blouse,
and such a short skirt, and such
transparent stockings. I'm shocked
beyon dwords, for I always thought
her a very quiet creature." "Per
haps," laughed Nelson, "she's one of
those who believe and practice the
good old saying that young girls
should be seen and not heard."
Two Kentucky "pals" had met, af
ter Quite a period of separation. The
following conversation ensued: "Col
onel, I heah, suh, yed have laid ln-a
new supply of liquor, an' I understan'
i is right high In price nowadays."
"My deab. majuh, I ah paid JeB
nine dollahs a quawt foh it, sab."
"Aaint that a trifle expensive, col
onel?" "Not my estimation, sah.
It is th' first time I have evuh had th'
privilege of payin' soinewheh near
th' figure I have always considered it
wuth."
The curly-haired lKtle splrlte of
the house raine running to her fath
er In the study, and, throwing her
arms around his neck whispering
confidentially in his ear: "Oh, papa,
it's raining!" Tapa was writing on
a subject that occupied his mind to
the exclusion of matters aside, so he
said, rather sharply. "Well, let rt
rain." "Vese, papa, I was going to,"
was her quick response.
A citizen whose daughter is about
to be married, and who has been try
ing to get a line on what the expense
of the rather elaborate ceremony
will be, approached a friend of his
seeking information. "Morris," he
said, "jour oldest daughter was
married about five years ago, wasn't
she? Would you mind telling me
about how much the wedding cost?"
"No! at all, Sam," was the answer.
"Altogether, about five thousand dol
lars a year."
They were on their honeymoon,
and were spending It amtdRt the
mountains of Colorado. Nearly
every day they attempted to climb to
a fresh height. "There!" exclaimed
the wife, when she had finished
panting, "we have tramped all this
distance to admire this beautiful
view, and we were forgotten the
glasses!" "Never mind, darling," re
plied he, taking a small flask out of
his pocket. "There's no one about.
We can drink just as well out of the
bottle!"
Sam had been a pretty sick steve
dore, but he had been cheerful and
was given extra attentoin at the hos
pital nenr Bordeaux. The n-irse was
especially Insistent that Sam clean
l is teeth regularly, and brought him
tooth powder, brush, and water
every .nornlng. One day about noon
Sam asked for his tooth powder. The
nurse ecnlded and asked him 1 ho
had not 'lea cd his teeth 'n m!:o
morning. 'Yas'm," replied Sam,
"but I Jes wants my tooth powder."
The nurse brought the powder,
water, and brush. "I don't want the
brush, miss," Sam expostulated. "I
Jes goin' to powder 'em."
An optimistic old Scotchman's
favorite expression was, "It micht
have been waur." One day a frie.M
said to him, "Tauimas, I had an aw
ful dream about ye last nicht. 1
dreamt ye were dead." "Aye, man
Santy, that was bad indeed; but it
micht have been waur." "But it wis
waur," went on the ' other. "I
dreamt ye had gone to the bad
place." "Losh me, Sandy! Me an
elder in the kirk' dead an' gone to
the bad place. That was awfu', but
1 tmlcht have been waur." "lloo
could it have been waur than that?"
asked Sandy, amuzed. "Weet, y
ken, it micht have been true."
The record In meanness Is well
"ftablished by the lady who called at
the local shop la a country village in
Enelai.n and gave a small very
small -rOer for goods, inc'udfn a
ba'por-th of cat's meat. The shop
keeper vus muttering angry wo-ds
to himself hour an hour later as he
-ad( un the order, when a flurried
and breathless maid-servant dashed
In'o the place. "F-h-have you sent,
off Mrs. Grableighfs things yet?"
she gasped. "Just doing 'em," snap
ped the grocer, as he struggled with
a Ben of parcels. "Oh, thank good
ness!" gaspe dthe girl. "Then don't
send the cat's meat. The cat's Just
caught a sparrow."
MANY MORE BIRTHS
IN THE YEAR 1918
' Hejx.rt i f iH'ftftrttnent of Health at
I Uncoln Mom 2A.1 With and
102 Death Daring Year.
The report of the Department of
Health of the state of Nebraska for
the year 1918. for Box Butte county,
1 w h'u b has Just been Issued, shows
that ur. wero 288 births in im
as compared with HO for the year
1917. The number of deaths occurr
ing in Box Butte county for hte year
1918, wat 192, of which number In
fluenza, with us complication pneu
monia, caused 78.
There were two pairs of twins
born In the county In 1917 and only
one pal lit 1918. The name of the
father was not reported In or.e case
In 1917 and the same in 1918. The
detailed birth report for the years
1917 and 1918 was as follows:
191
Total number If births 285
Male 152
Female 1SS
Native father . . .! 250
Native mother 262
Foreign father 34
Foreign mother 23
Pairs of twins 1
Sets of triplets . . i 0
1017
Total number of births 140
Male 83
Female 57
Native father 125
Native mother 128
Foreign father 14
Foreign mother 12
Pairs of twins 2
Sets of triplets 0
Some Idea of the great number of
different races In Europe may be ob
tained from the fact that In that geo
graphical division there are nearly
600 different languages spoken.
LADIES! SECRET TO
HI
Bring Back its Color and Lustre
with Grandma's Sage
Tea Recipe.
Common pnrdon snpe brewed Into a
heavy tea. with sulphur and alcohol
added, will turn prny, streaked and
faded hair benutifully dork and luxuri
ant. Mixing" the Snpo Tea and Sulphur
recipe at home, though, la troublesome.
An easier way is to pet the ready-to-uso
preparation improved by the ntlil'ition of
other ingredients, costing about 50 cents
a larpe bottle, at druir stores, known as
"Wyeth's ge and Sulphur Compound,"
thus avoiding a lot of muss.
While pray, failed hair is not sinful, we
all desire to retain our youthful appear
ance and attractiveness. By darkening
your hair with Wyeth's Sapc and Sulphur
Compound, no one can tell, because it
does it so naturally, so evenly. You
!ust dampen a sponge or soft brush with
t nd draw this through your, bslr,
taking one small strand at a time; by
morning all gray hairs have disappeared.
j After another application or two your
hair becomes beautifully dark, glossy,
soft and luxuriant and you appear years
younger. Wyeth's Sage and Sulphur
Compound is a delightful toilet requisite.
It is not intended for the cure, mitigation
or prevention of dieaaK,
i
OopyrtcM
tftift few
R J. B.TmoU.
YOU can't help cutting loose joy'us
remarks every time you flush your
smokespot with Fnnce Albert it hits
you so fair and square. It's a scuttle full of joy'us
jimmy pipe sunshine and as satisfying as it is
delightful every hour of the twenty-four!
It's never too late to hop into the Prince Albert pleasure
pasture! For. P. A. is trigger-ready to give you more
tobacco, fun than you ever had in your smokecareer.
That's because it has the quality.
Quick as you know Prince Albert you 11 write it down
that P. A. did not bite your -tongue or parch your throat.
And, it never will! For, our exclusive patented process
cuts out bite and parch. Try it for what ails your tongue!
Toppy rtd bog, tidy rW tint, handiom pound and half pound tin
hunudon and that cUvor, practical pound crystal glau hmtnidor tcith ,
ipongo moutonor top that hpi th tobacco in tuch porfoct condition.
R. J. Reynold Tobacco Company. Winston-Sad em, N. C
.Bitte mr Ester Baking
A letter makes a great difference in a
word. A Vjrd makes a great difference
in bakingpowders.
If the little word "alum" appears on
the label it may mean bitter baking.
If the word ROYAL stands out bold
and strong, it surely means BETTER
baking.
This is only one reason why it pays
to use
pi BMm lpwte
MM
Absolutely Pure
Made from Cream of Tartar derived from grapes
Royal Contains No Alum
Leaves No Bitter Tasto
JSBl I Iff a$ wfasm
WT:
i (IfJjj Is5f 'il 111 1
($1 Am I :! -
'mm ipi: i
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