THE ALLIANCE HERALD
THE ALLIANCE HERALD
Thursday, January 23, 1910
LLOYD'S COLUMN
"Do you always stutter line that?"
ked the doctor examining the re
cruit. "N no, ulr," was the reply. "Only
w-w-when 1 talk." Hood Health.
"I henr thnt Swl?ldler has written
A Hew throe-net comedy. "
"Yes; he read It to me and two
Other rf his oldest friends yesterday"
"Xnd what did you think of It?"
"Well, we nil lhr thought one of
the iuti sunerttuoua,"
"Which net won that?"
"Oh, we each chose a different."
t- Not CnMiInt?.
Ethel, when chldded by the teach
er iQT her late arrival at school, re-1
Tiled:
" Wartn, i could not arrive: earl
ier, as my mother is vei'y. ery Blck'
with what ailment I do not know."
Whereupon the teacher replied!
"(Jo homn at few and remain un
tlll your mother recovers, as Bhe
might have Borne contagious duiease,
and throtiKh you J would catch tt."
The following morning found
Ethel at school at an early hour, hav
ing come In an automobile, and, re
plying to the teacher's query as to
her mother's condition shamefully
aid, while twirling her bonnet over
the back of her hand:
"I got a new little brother at our
house and my ma says if you'll be
good you won't catch It."
A Schotch preacher one Sunday
found his congregation going to
leep before he had fairly begun. On
seeing this he stopped and exclnlined
"Brethren, If no fair. Walt till 1 get
a start, and then If I am no' worth
llstentlng tae, gang to sleep; but dln
na nod yer rows before I get com
menced. Gle a buddy a chance."
A young Englishman, who uaed to
thake his beer out of his own pewter
mug, said to the barmaid one day:
"Always give me my beer In my own
mug. Never any other. Make no
mistake." "Oh, no fear of making
any mistake about your mug, sir,"
said the barmaid. "No?" said the
young man. "No," Bald she. "The
Handle s always wartn."
The boat drifted out on the sunlit
sea. The mn and the maiden were
silent and a little sad. His leave was
ended; the time for patting had
come, "pes rest" he breathed softly,
"will you float with me always
down the stream of life?" "The same
as now?" she whispered. "The panic
ns now," said he. "I will, gladly!"
Fhe cried. He was rowing, doing all
the hard work; she had the helm
she steered.
..
The young man sidled Into the
Jeweler's shop with a furtive air. He
handed the Jeweler a ring with the
atnnimorerl statCnt that he wished
1 a.iurlxJ ll.Hl. . , II
u im Fnine names.
"Whftt names do you Wish?" Inquir
ed the Jeweler In a sympathetic tone.
"From Henry to Clara," the young
man Mushlngly whlafcered. The Jew
eler looked from the ring to the
young man and said In a fatherly
manner, "Take my advice, young
man, and have It engraved simply,
'From Henry,"
The Would-be lady killer entered a
restkUrant, glanced at the mend, and
then" looked at the waitress. "Nlft
day, little ohp,' he began. "Veen, It
Is," sha BttsWefed severely, "and so
was yesterday; and my name Is Ella,
and I know I am a little peach, and
I've been here quite a while, and I
like the place, and I don't think I am
to nice to be working here. If I did
I'd leave. my Job. My wages are sat
isfactory, and I'm from the country.
My brother Is rook here, and he
weighs nearly two hundred pounds.
and last week he broke the neck of a
fellow who tried to make a date with
me for a show that was In town at
the time. Now, what will yott have?"
In his confusslon he ordered lemon
soup, chicken chops and celery pie.
ACHES AND PAINS
QUICKLY RELIEVED
HEAD SALESMAN ,
SPENT HUNDREDS
Itiirton Suffered Twenty Venn lie
fore Finding The IllRht
Medicine
OVER-EATING
U the root of prarlr all digestive
evil, tf your digestion fa weak or
out of kilter, better cat less and me
, RHIQ1BS
new aM to b-llT riiesiinn.
ftctuuiit t t&ke oft ct:ve. JU-t
A"i-n(v'i ). tleVtiti cu your
!Vetive t rt)UC'.-.
MAPS T;Y f"T.OTT M rs t i
.'acu.13 or s.vr it.'
You'll find Sloan's Liniment
softens the severe
rheumatic ache
Put It on freely. Don't ruh It Sr.
Just let it penetrate naturally. VVU.t a
sense of soothing relief soon follow!
External aches, ctiffnocs, 6orcner
cramped muscles, strained sinews,
back "cricks" -those ailments can't
fght off the , relieving qualities of
Sloan's Linimknt. Clean, convenient,
economical. Ask any drupRitt for it.
III speaking of the marvelous way
in which Tanlac has relieved hlni vt I
a long-standing case of rheumatism. !
LI. Ij. Burton, head of salesman In j
the wholesale fruit and vegatoble de-;
partment at I-utey Dros., Lutte Mont, i
living fit 6t2 South Montana Street,
recently said:
"It s simply, astonishing that Just
r few bottles of Tanlac should fix me !
up In almost no time, after I had
spent almost every dollar I earned
In the last twenty years trying to get
relief roin that awful rheumatism."
Ilefore coming to Uutte Mr. Bur
ton lived for ten yeas In Spokane,'
Washington, where he was salesman
J for the. Imperial Trading Company
of that city. ,
"I tell you What," lie continued,
"I have gone through all stages of
rheumatism, and the agonies 1 have!
had to endure simply cannot be des
cribed. The trouble first came on me
about twenty years ago. My should
ers, knees and ankles gave me the
most worry and ached so at times
that I was laid up in bed for six long
months, and when I got up again I
had to go about on crutches for three
months, and till recently I never did
get it out of my system, although I
have spent hundreds of dollars In
trying to get straightened out. I went
to Hot Springs, Arkansas, but with
out result and then I tried the mud
baths nearer home, but got no bene
fit from that treatment either. A
little while ago I felt it coming on
pretty bad again. My appetite left-me
nothing tasted right, I was constipat
ed and suffered from awful head
aches every few days. The pain in my ;
shoulders and knees was so agon is-1
ing that I could hardly sleep and I
would wake up 'six or seven times
during the night racked with pain.
Why, at the time I started taking
Tanlac I couldn't raise my arms as
high as my shoulders to save my life
and was unable to put on my coat !
without somebody helping me, and
my knees were so stiff and hurt no
bad I could hardly walk. '
"After reading so much about
Tanlac I decided to try it and I had-j
n't finished my first bottle before the I
stiffness began to leave my Joints,
and now I never suffer a bit of pain J
or Inconvenience. My second bottle
gave me a whacking big appetite, '
that constipation Is relieved and I
never have a headache. I sleep like
a log all night, and am lucky if I ,
wake up fn time for breakfast before 1
going to work. I certainly am glad
to endorse Tanlac and only hope my
experience with thia wonderful medi
cine will help someone else who may
be going through what I did.
I
4
n n TT
zzi ALL OF OUR I " ::
HABERDASHE
We are closing this line out that we may have
more time to give to our Cleaning, Pressing and
Laundry work. We are going to sell these articles
quick. Get yours now.
$14.00 MackinawS '.....,..... $8.95
$8, $9 and $10 Sweaters . - $6.00
$5 and $6 fiats ..!.. $3.50
$5.00 Jerseys ?. - '. $3.50
$700 Wool Shirts , 1. $5.53
$5.50 Wool Shirts , : $4.50
$3.50 Wool Shirts : $2.50
$1.50 and $2.00 Dress Shirts , . $1.00
$2.00 Neckties .. $1.00
$1.00 Neckties 1 '. .50
One-Third to One-Half
Off on Everything
HABERDASHERS
11 -
COME IN! 207 Box Butte
to
3C
HADDORFF MUSIC COMPANY'S
Great 11
' -
Removal Sale
This entire stock of high grade pianos and players must besold within the next
eigh: days. We are closing out our western branches because of the impossibility
of securing sufficient competent help and as our Tease on the building expires on
Januaryx31st. we will positively vacate on that date.
THE OPPORTUNITY OF A LIFE-TIME
In order that we may avoid the shipping of these splendid pianos to
Omaha we have slashed the prices unmercifully. We have given you the bene
fit of the saving of the freight charges nd more. Knowing that to accomplish
a complete clean-up in so short a time it is necessary to make the prices a real
object to you we have gone the limit. Come in and see for yourself. If you
contemplate the purchase of a piano it will pay you big to get in touch with us
NOW. Regardless of cost or retail value we are going to sell them to you at
your own price.
Remember this Great Removal Sale
Positively Closes on January 31st. and
After That Date Your Chance Will Be
Gone.
HADDORFF MUSIC COMPANY
i
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