ALLIANCE HERALD, THl RHDAY, NOV. in. 1017.
Lloyds Column
Mayor Route; Of Alliance ws hav
ing n good laugh by himself the other
ssorntng. When asked by the writer
What ih' fun was about hp handed
over a slip containing the following:
A sale bill bearing the signature
Of Will Quitwork" has been going
the rounds of the press and purports
fc be a Missouri auction sale, giving
evidence of what queer combinations
Can be made by a printer who is suf
fering from the effects of a night out.
The bill announces that the sale will
Begin "In the morning sharp," of a
eertaln date and includes the follow
ing list: 25 good cows broke to work;
41 head of cultivators coming in
soon; 10 head of shoveling boards
With scoop by side; 8 IMano mares
Ond 120 rods of canvas belting, bet
ter than new; Ie Laval cow with Ice
Cream attachment; short-horn corn
Slant.! with ten feet of wire; 1 Mc
rmirk binder with foal; 1 Poland
fbina bob sled with runners on it;
I head of chickens in perfect work
ing order, good as new and many
other articles belonging to other folks
too numerous to mention.
A liutton in CXrtlection
Many amusing storieB of life in
Eton school in England are told in
thane Leslie's book, "The End of the
Chapter." For instance, when one of
the masters found a button In the
ebapel collection, which he read out
tn terms of pounds, shillings and
pence, "and one trouser button!"
proceeding immediately with the
words of the service, "Rend your
hearts and not your garments." An
other good one concerns a young
nobleman's son who Introduced him
oelf as Iord C , son of Earl C .
The whole house kicked him twice,
once for Lord C and once for Earl
C. The latter story the author caps
toy one from Harrow, where a foreign
prince at the school waB once men
tioned as a candidate for the Spanish
tbrone. The poor boy had to be re
Moved, as half of the school took the
necessary Bteps to be able to boast
Afterward that they had kicked a
king of Spain. San Francisco Argo
naut. 1 lu il'ii Oil Ml
An I'npopular English Official
Lord Northcllffe at a Washington
luncheon was tnlking about the Brit
ish premier. "Mr. Lloyd-George 1b
the idol of the nation now," he Bald.
"It is hard to believe how unpopular
be was, at leust among the unionists,
once. Among the many stories cir
culated about Mr. Lloyd-George"B un
popularity at that time there was one
which concerned a rescue from
drowning. The heroic rescuer, when
gold medal was presented to him
for his brave deed, modestly de
clared: "I don't deserve this medal.
I did nothing but my duty. I saw
our friend here struggling in the
water. I knew he must drown unless
oome one saved him. So I plunged
In, swam out to him, turned him over
to make sure it wasn't Lloyd-Ueorge,
and then lugged him to safety on my
back.' "
l.lo"a Column
To the Police Station
Bounderby was a most respected
resident of the suburb and made
friends with everybody. As he was
nutting up for the borough council
be made a tour of various municipal
establishments, including the local
police station. The superintendent
bad treated him with great courtesy,
end had shown him everything of in
terest, on which Bounderby dilated
When he reached home. Next day he
was taking his little son for a ride
on the trolley car, which was crowded
With loyal residents. As the car was
passing the police station a shrill
oice suddenly cried: "Oh, dad! Is
that the police station Where the po
liceman took you last night?" Every
person on the car turned to start at
Bounderby and he was not elected
to the council.
l-lv4' Column
May ami December Wed Again
The old millionaire and his beauti
ful bride, after their quiet wedding,
bad a quiet wedding breakfast a
deux. Astrakhan caviar, eggs pom
padour, a truffled chicken, fresh Cal
ifornia peas, champagne bo the
quiet breakfast ran. "My dear," said
the eld millionaire, us the fruit
course, a superb Florida melon, came
COMING
TO
Alliance, INJebr.
The PHBfClM on Chronic DiftetlM's
Will Visit Our ( ity
Friday, Nov. 16th, 1917
And Will H- at the Alliance Hotel
I mil n p. m One Itay OMV.
Dr. Potter! of 3108 Garfield Ave.,
Kansas City, Mo., who has treated
thousands of patients with electricity
and medicine, will give consultation,
examination and all the medicines
m essary FREE. All parties taking
advantage of this offer are requested
to Btate to their friends the result of
the treatment.
Treats DEAFNESS by an entirely
new process.
Treats catarrh, throat and lung
dis ease, eye and ear, stomach, liver
and kidneys, gravel, rheumatism,
paralysis, neuralgia, nervous and
heart disease, epilepsy, Brlght's dis
ease, diseases of the bladder, blood,
skin, goiter, stammering, and asthma.
I'll'"- and rupture, without deten
lion from business.
If you are improving under your
family physiclun do not take up our
valuable time. The rich and the poor
are treuted alike. Idlers and curios
ity seekers will please stay away.
Our time is valuable.
Remember, NOT A PENNY will be
charged for the medicine required to
all those taking treutment thiB trip.
Office hour, 8 a. m
Positively married ladies must be
accompanied by their husbands, lie
member the date, Friday, November
16, at the Alliance Hotel, Alliance,
Nebraska.
SOLDIER BOYS PASS
THROUGH HERE
Two Trnlnloads of Men" Enroute
Kn.ni I' .. id. to Atlantic ( oast
Make llrlef Stop In Alliance
Two train loads of Boldier boys,
enroute from the Pacific to the At
lantic coast, passed through Alliance
last Friday afternoon, each train :
making short stops here in order to
take on a stock of supplies and make !
change of crews and engines.
The first train arrived about 1
o'clock and those in charge assem-1
bled the men In order and gave them I
a short drill about town, to the In
tense delight of many spectators.
The men all seemed to be very
light hearted and cheerful and how
could anyone blame them, if at all
their stops they are received as cheer
fully as they were here? The young
ladies of the city made It n point to
entertain them as best they could.
There was hand-shaking and kisses,
and when the trains moved away
many "good-byes and good luck."
These men represented a portion
of the draft army of southern Cali
fornia, and have been in training
about two t months.
DIPHTHERIA OASES
ARE WELL ISOLATED
Recent Diphtheria Cases Cause Adop
tion of "Safety First" .Measures
for Adequate Protection
on, "tell me, dear" and he laid hlB
withered hand on her young one
"do you love me for what I am or
for what I was?" The beautiful girl
smiled down from the window into
the admiring eyes of a young club
man who was passing; then she bent
her clear, considering gaze on the
gray ruin opposite and replied: "I
love you, George, for what you will
be."
I.lojd'e C olumn
Contempt of Court
A certain man whose previous rec
ord was of the best was charged with
a minor offense. Law and evidence
were unquestionably on the side of
the defense, but when the adguments
had been concluded a verdict of
guilty" was given and a fine im
posed. The lawyer for the defense
was sitting with his back toward the
magistrate. Without changing his
position or rising to address the court
he remarked: "Judge, please fine me
for contempt of court." The magis
trate Inquired: "What d'ye mean,
sir? You haven't committed con
tempt." "I have," came from the old
lawyer. "It's silent."
i ii IJaysTS t'olumn
A Seick Irishman
Murphy was making his first trip
across the Atlantic, and he felt un
speakably awful. He failed to con
nect the fact of his being on the
briny ocean for the first time with his
agony. The doctor came to him as
he tossed about in his berth. "Cheer
up man," he said heartily, "I know
you're feeling rotten, but you're not
going to die." Murphy opened hor
rified eyes. "Not going to die?" he
wailed. "Faith, doctor, I thought I
was! That was the only thing that
kept me alive."
Following the discovery of diph
theria in the Burlington hotel some
time ago, a few other cases have been
discovered about the city. As an
nounced last week, a case of the same
was found at the J. B. Irwin home,
among the roomers at tlie place, and
still another case, that of a child in
one of the schools, was found on Fri
day of last week.
Accordingly, the Central and Em
erson schools were dismissed for a
few days until the proper steps could
be taken for the fumigation of the
buildings. At this time, however,
both schools have re-opened and work
therein has been resumed.
The Burlington Hotel has also re
sumed business, as the building has
been thoroughly cleansed and fumi
gated. In each case of sickness the patient
has been removed to the city hospital
where they are receiving the c;ire and
Isolation that Is necessary.
The precaution that h;;s been
adopted thus far by the authorities
Willi it is believed, avoid any further
spread of the malady at th's time.
War Horse
Inspection
We will hold a War Horse
Inspection
at the Simon Spry Barn
Alliance, Nebraska, on
Tues., Nov. 20th
Bring in all your geldings,
ages from 5 to 10 years.
Prices, $130 to $160
J. E. WILSON & SON
Money Not Msin Object.
"All healthily minded people like
t I'iklni; money ought to li!;e it and
njoy the sensation of winning It; hut
lie main object of their life is not
money, a good soldier, for Instance.
mainly wishes to lo his fighting WOM.
He Is glad of hi pay very properly
so, and Justly grumbles when you keep
him ten years without It still, his
main notion of life Is to win battles,
not to be paid for winning them."
John Ruskln.
flajftj sM(M?&to(9 tea".
Long
hours, close and
tedious work are very apt
to result in Headaches or
other Pains. Don't suffer.
DR. MILES'
ANTI-PAIN PILLS
will quickly drive your
Pain away, and
Dr. Miles9 Nervine
will assist you by relieving
the Nerve Strain.
IF MUST BOX, OR BO T TLB, FAILS
TO BSTNEFIT YOU, YOUR MOMBY
WfLL BE REFUNDED.
DIZZY SPELLS.
"My nerve became aU
worn ouL I has bad head
aches and sever dlszr
pells. I could not sleep
and mjr appetlt was poor.
I began using Dr. Miles'
Antl-Pata puis and they
always save me isstant re
lief no matter what the
pais. Then I used Dr.
MUea' Nervine regularly
and was soon tn perfect
health a-aia."
MRS. B. I TOVNG,
324 Pittsburg 8L.
Heweaetl, Penn.
For better food at less cost
MAZOLA
BUTTER, lard and suet have been used for years for deep frying,
sauteing or shortening because the housewife could find
nothing better. Today the Food Administrator asks her to
use vegetable oils.
And Mazola, the pure oil from corn holds first place among
vegetable oils. It is the ideal medium for sauteing, deep frying,
shortening and salad dressings from every standpoint.
Mazola reaches cooking heat long before it smokes cooks food
more quickly and at the same time more thoroughly. This does
away with that sogginess and greasiness so prevalent with the old
cooking mediums. s
And Mazola can be used over and over again because it does not
transmit taste or odor from one food to another!
That is what makes it so wonderfully economical.
Get a can of Mazola from your grocer today. Sold in pint, quart,
half-gallon and gallon tins the large sizes give greatest economy.
Also ask for the free Mazola Book of Recipes or write us direct.
Your money refunded if Mazola does not give entire satisfaction.
Corn Products Refining Company
17 Battery Place New York
SUim rMcit.tii
Csxtsn&Jettrey
Co.
Osuke, NeWaiks
JJln '
SBBBbTSkV' l M0ASBB I 1 "V .
Hn,; I a pure 9my -