I Lloyd's Column j
Too Onesided
BeinR single and his mother and
sisters beiiiK Well provided for by the
business, a patriotic Scottish grocer
decided to enlist, leaving his assist
ant. one Mackay, in charge. But a
few months later the matter was
dunifounded to meet his late assist
ant attired in khaki. "Bomewhere in
France."
"Hie, mon," he said angrily, did
1 no' tell ye tae stay at hame in
chairce o" DM shop?"
"So I thocht at the time, maiPter."
replied Mackay. "but I sune fun' ott
It wisna only the shop I was in
c.hairge o'. but a' yer womenfolk.
'Man,' ses 1 tae maself, 'gin ye've got
to fecht gang an' fecht some one ye
can hit!' So I jined!" Answers.
bloyd'o
Nailed
"Did you see that?" yelled the ex
cited man in the Panama hat. "That
robber of an umpire calls Gilligan
out at third, and Kafferty never came
within a foot of touchin' him."
"It looked that way to me. too."
admitted the man beside him. "Still.
I dare say, the umpire could see the
play better from where he was than
we could from up here."
"Ah, go on home!" retorted the
other, savagely. "You ain't got no
business goin' to a hall game. You're
one of these blamed pacifists, that's
what you are!" Philadelphia Pub
lic Ledger.
Mora" Column
t i i lie n i Delivery
Customer "Send up twenty-five
cents' worth of boiled ham."
Butcher "All right, sir. Any
thing else?"
Customer "Yes. If my wife
isn't at home, tell the boy to put it
through the keyhole! "--Life.
l.loyd'n ( tlwn
Well Whitewashed
"I don't object to your marrying
that younp representative, Emily,
but I'm afraid he doesn't stand very
high in the political world."
"Oh, yes, he does, mother. He's
already been investigated by five
committees." Froth.
1 lo.d' Column
He Knew
"Any rags? Any old iron?"
chanted the dealer, as he knocked at
the suburban villa. The man of the
bouse himself opened the door.
"No, ro away," he unapt, irritably.
"There's nothing for you. My wife
is away."
The itinerant merchant hesitated
a moment, and then inquired: "Any
old bottles?" Tlt-Blts.
I,liiid' Column
Britain Ijost in Suds
Rupert- "What did you do with
the cuffs I left on the table last
night?"
Roland "They were so soiled I
went them to the laundry."
Rupert- "Ye gods, the entire his
tory of Kngland was on them."-Widow.
How About Slipper?
Mrs. Hive "Why are children so
much worse than they used to he?"
Mrs. Bee I attribute it to im
proved Ideas in building."
Mrs. Hive "How so?"
Mrs. Bee "Shingles are scarce,
and you can't spank a boy with a tin
roof." Awgwan.
l.lod Colrnno
Suspicious
"What's the matter, old man? You
look worried."
"Well, to be honest with you. 1
am. You know. 1 took out some life
insurance last Thursday."
"Yes," replied the sympathetic
friend, "but what has that to do with
the wobegone expression on your
face?" "Well, the very next day af
ter I had it written my wife bought
a new cook-book. Possibly it's all
right, but it certainly looks suspici
ous." Kansas City Star.
I.IoiHk Column
Worth the Risk
For three successive nights the
new and proud father had walked the
floor with the baby. On the fourth
night he became desperate, and on
arriving home from the office un
wrapt a bottle of soothing sirup.
"Oh. James," exclaimed his wife,
when she saw the label, "what did
you buy that for? Don't yon know
It Is very dangerous to give a child
anything like that?"
"Don't worry," was the husband's
tired reply; "I'm going to take it my
self." Tit-Bits.
Forethought
People are learning that a little
forethought often saves them a big
expense. Here is an instance: E. W.
Archer, Caldwell, Ohio, writes: "I
do not believe that our family has
been without Chamberlain's Colic,
Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy since
we commenced keeping house years
ago. When we go on an extended
visit we take it with us." Obtaina
ble everywhere. Adv-june
a chautauqua to he held in Peru .lune
29 to July 4. The chautauqua pro
man's will be hodgot events and will
take the place of a summer lecture
course.
A splendid recital wijs given last
Wednesday evening by students from
the departments of voice, piano and
expression. The skillful manner in
Which the numbers were rendered
testifies to the character of the work
being done In these depart ments.
Don't I ei Vina ..null Ilium On
A cough that racks and weakens
Is dangerous, it undermines your
health and thrives on neglect. Re
lieve it at once with Dr. King's New
Discovery. This soothing balsam
remedy heals the throat, loosens the
phlegm, Its antiseptic properties kill
the irerm and the cold Is quickly
broken up. Children and grown
ups alike find Dr. King's New Dis
covery pleasant to take as well as
effective. Have a bottle handy in
your medicine chest for grippe,
roup and nil bronchial affections.
At druggists, f.Oc.
Adv 3 I
THIRD ANNUAL
INDIAN CONGRESS
June 10, 'JO mid ill AreMlie Dnie
An Interesting AsMemblHge
at dordun, Nehr.
of
DATES FOR COM I Mi EVENTS
June 6 to 21 Nebraska State Holi
ness Association camp meeting at
Lincoln.
June 18-20- Nebraska Press Associ
ation Annual Convention at Oma
ha. June 19-20 Nebraska Btnte Sunday
SekOOl Convention at umaha.
June 2fi to 27 International Ass'n
of Itailnwy Special Agents and Po
lice Meeting at Omaha.
June 2.r. to 30 Slate Golf Tnurna
hient at Lincoln.
I "Kit I NORMAL NOTES
Summer school started June 11.
with a big enrollment as usual. In
spite of reports to the contrary, the
full summer school program will be
carried out exactly as listed in the
catalog.
The commencement exercises be
gin with the open program of the lit
erary societies Friday evening. Sat
urday was senior tlua day; Mon
day, festival of music; Tuesday, the
semi-centennial celebration; and
Wednesday, Commencement day. at
which time approximately 190 stud
ents received diplomas and degrees.
The historic pageant was given
Tuesday evening and was an enter
prize of great magnitude and neces
sarily required a small admission
fee. The net proceeds were turned
over to the Red Cross and Army Y.
If. C. A. Veterans of the Civil War
were honor guests and were admit
ted without charge.
Arrangements have been made for
Muscle Soreness Relieved
Unusual work, bending and lifting
or strenuous exercise Is a strain on '
the muscles, they become sore and I
stiff, you are crippled and in pain.
Sloan's Liniment brings you quick
relief, easy to apply, It penetrates
without rubbing and drives out the '
soreness. A clear liquid, cleaner 1
than mussy plasters or ointments, it
does not stain the skin or clog the
pores. Always have a bottle handy
for -the pains, aches of rheumatism, 1
gout, lumbago, grippe, bruises, stiff
ness, backache and all external pain.
At your druggist, 25c.
Adv 3
CAM- FOR BIDS
The Board of Education of Ard
more Independent Consolidated
School District, Ardmoie. South Da
kota, is receiving bids for the con
struction of a brick school building
40x42 feet and two stories high with
basement to be constructed accord
ing to plans and specifications now
in the hands of Minnie Caylor, Clerk.
Contractors desiring to submit bids
will please write for details.
MINNIE CAYLOR, Clerk.
Ardmore, S. Dak.
20-31-8379
The Third Annual Conunss of
American Indians which will be held
at Cordon. Nebr., on June 19, 20
and 21 this year, will he of greater
Interest than it has any previous
years and it will be a sight never to
be forgotten by those who are for
tunate enough to attend
The Indians ,wlll meet in council
on the morning of the first day and
this event Is always interesting. A
parade each morning, with the wi nl
MUSiC and beautiful display of drisi
and line horses is of ever-increasing
Interest.
New games new to all but the
Indian -and events will be more
numerous than ever before, and
many of these have never before
been witnessed by only a few whites.
These in addition to the rOOlOg
events will take up most of the
three days aond you will aitlOlf every
l minute while here.
On the 20th the vast assemblage
.will be addressed h the Hon. W. H.
iWestover, district Judge of the Six
teenth Judicial district, on the sub
ject. "Sheridan County's First Ac
quaintance with the Sioux Indian,
'and the Iidiau's Itelation to the Gov
ernment in the Future." That ad
dress will be ancvverid by a promin
Jent Indian and both addresses will
, be interpreted in the opposite langu
age.
If you know Judge Westover you
will know that it will ne well worth
your time to hear him talk and you
will know the American Indian bet
ter by hearinu the answer to the ad
dress Of the Judge.
On the 21st the crowds will be ad
dressed by the Hon. Ople Chambers,
one of the hest-known and hespected
men on the uosebud Heservation.
His subject has not yet been an
nounced, but you may rest assured
that It will be interesting from be
ginning to end. There are few men
so well acquainted with the Indian as
is Mr. Chambers, and we look for
something worth while in his ad
dress. And last, but not least, we wish to
a!l to your attention an event which
has never been carried out before
since the Congress was organised,
and that Is the beadwork display.
Substantial prizes are being offer
ed Tor the best -exhibit of this work
you will see, many of the ancient
heirlooms of the Sioux people which
have been handed down since earlier
than the Revolution as well as those
of more recent years.
This feature alone will be well
worth your time spent as much of
this work is fast disappearing. They
will be on exhibit each day of the
Congress.
Fill up your car and enjoy the
hospitality of Cordon folks on these
Jdays June 19, 20. 21.
Iciir Avvny tfco Waste
Bowel teularity Is the secrrt of
good health, bright eyes, clear com
plexions, mid Dr. King's New Life
Pills an a mild and gentle laxative
that leculates the bowels and re
,lieis liii 'ingested Intestines by re
I moving the accumulated wastes
without griping. Take a pill before
j retiring an. I (hat heavy head, that
I dull spring fever feeling disappears.
001 Dr. King's New Life Pills at your
I druggist, tie
Adv 3
Rev. W. 8. York and family cams
down by auto from Hemlngfoul
Thursday for a short visit In Alli
ance. Rev. York Is pastor of tlm
Methodist church In HAoiingford and
secretary of the Northwest Nebraska
M. K Conference. He came to Hem
ingfoTd last year from Oerlng. Ho
Is well liked at Hemlngford and In
making good with the people there.
HYDROMETER WILL
SAVE BATTERY
Charles Schafer. of IWitl.lO Service
Station, Says llydrometlmi Cives
the Knttcry Contentment
"Do not abuse your battery and
endanger pleasant motor trips by
failing to use your hydrometer. Each
time you manipulate this specific
gravity measurer you lessen Its In
itial cost and prolong tin- usefulness
of your battery."
To properly test the specific grav
ity of a battery cell, says Charles F.
Schafer. 114 Fast 3rd street, of the
Battery Service Station, remove the
vent, insert the rubber tube at the
bottom of the syringe hydrometer
thru the vent well down Into the
electrolyte. Squeeze the rubber bulb
(Irmly, then remove pressure from
the bulb. Electrolyte will rise Into
the glass barrel. If you desire an
exlremely accurate reading, lift (he
instrument to a convenient height
and hold It vertically so yoti can see
the hydrometer floating free within
the glass barrel of the syringe. Ord
inarily It will suffice to read the hy
drometer with the syringe In the
well and then you can easily see the
figure reached by the surface of the
electrolyte.
After the reading is taken, be cer
tain to restore the electrolyte to the
cell from which it was removed
never to another so that the be-tween-cells
balance of acid is pre
served. Insert the rubber tube into
the vent well, squeeze the bulb so as
to expell all the liquid from the
syringe and do not release the pres
sure from the bulb until you have
withdrawn the tube from the well.
This will preclude stealing ucld un
knowingly from one cell and donat
ing it to another. Then proceed
with the same operation on the next
cell and so on until ull the cells have
been separately tested. Be sure that
no spilled acid remains on the top of
I the battery. Remember - frequent
hydrometion gives battery eontent-
: ment and hydrometers don't wear
out.
John Schirk and family visited at
Jennings, Nebr.. last week.
We sltn to extend our v
tem of local snd long dis
tance lines and add to our
equipment from time te time
to meet the requirements of
the public for telephone service.
To make these extensions,
we roust obtain each year
considerable sum of money
from the Investing public.
We do not make extensions
oat of profits Is usually
don In a private business.
Unless we paid a resson
s tile return on the money
ow Invested In our property,
wo could not get the new
money needed each year far
additions to our plant.
The Investing public moat
fool confident that their
money placed In our aecwrl-
tlea will bring them a ra
able return regatarly or
will not hay more of
steak or boad through the
aalo of whirl, we got money
for extensions.
, "f flMJWrtOHIffiHiMHITIirj'ri:!!":-
i, mi i n i 11.-" .
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G
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TO OUR:
WESTERN FRIENDS
masa I mm
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Our Service
High Sales
Correct Weighing
Up-to-date Information
Prompt Remittan- X
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Loans to Respon- I
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We Point With Pride to Our
Splendid Record of
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V
Years
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For Our Friends and
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GOOD SERVICE
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Expert Salesmen
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Locations
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Tagg Brothers & Moorhead
Union Stock Yards
Omaha, Nebraska