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The GREATEST Phonograph OFFER
Hade By The Greatest Fiano House
Tito Schnollcr & Mueller Piano Co., of Omaha
1
Anybody can own a
Columbia Grafonola
the worlds oldest and best phonograph
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the home if they will take advantage of
our unprecedented offer of no money
Uown 30 days free trial 2 to 3 years to
pay. Write at once for our special in
ducement to first buyers and sec whet a
wonderful proposition we have in store
for you.
THIS FIRE CABINET GRAFONOLA and 18 selections (9do-ihle
reeordk) of your own choice. In Onk, Mahogany or Walnut, pia&o faith,
42 inches high, 19 incites square with compartment (or records,
only
fill out Ihia Coupon tor Caulof and full Informal ion.
Schmollcr & Mueller Piano Co.,
1311-13 Farntra St., Omaha Neb.
Pleaac send me catalog and full particulars liow lo try a Columbia Grafonola
tree in my home, a I no information about your unexcelled payment offer.
Name .............. ........................................... ...............
Address-.
SERVICE
For Auto Owners
Put Your Car in Good Hands
No matter what work you may want done on your car, you
xn rest assured that it will be properly done if it comes to us.
Only the most capable men are employed by us, and care
fulness is our motto. We treat every car we work upon exact
ly as though it were our own.
We will gladly quote you prices on storage with full serv
ice or part service. Or we can give you service without stor
age if you prefer.
Why not give us a trial and let the results determine fu
ture relations between us? Pay us a call and we can talk it
over.
WE MAKE REPAIRS QUICKLY AND PROMPTLY,
AND GUARANTEE OUR WORK. "
NICOLAl & SON
PHONE 164
AUTO LI VICHY (JAHAG1C
AUTO mClWIKING TIKICS AM) SUITLIICS
1-1 S-BK
, r.;;''
i
How it looks
when illustrated
"I know for a
long lime lie hail
prrtt.v hard work
to keep the wolf
from the door."
PHONE 649
ft ' : .
J. .- t
acu
i4 . C"V-
Dry Pbont 14
322K3GZI
Mil
$80.85
133
I -ClFnS
A2B,
rr-f rf ii'i : --. J
If YoulWant to See a Bakery
Where things an neat and clean
Which, ly tin way, we think
Is the way it should he seen,
Just Accept Our Invitation
Which extends to every one
To Pay Our Shop a'Visit
And sec how it is done.
5 T E P H E N S
BAKERY
207 BOX BUTTE AVE.
DYE & OWENS
Transfer Line
HOUSEHOLD GOODS
'4 ,$tSi'M moTed ro,i,u7' ni
l4ridtnc phont 616 and Bit 174
Lloyd's Column
.tuuttrnmntmrnim
txtut
Jackoii Is Home Port
Speaker George Jackson of the
House of Representatives at Lincoln
la a poet. You will nee that I am
right when you read hia opinion of
the Nebraska Senate, expressed in
the following poem, which we pur
loined from his debk one day lust
week while ho wasn't looking:
THE NEBRASKA SENATE
I Just learned why the Senate don't
work
And why bo much leisure they
seek,
And why they adjourn on every
Thursday night
And go homo for the rest of the
week.
(Jus Beschorner says, and he ought
to know,
For he keeps the books over there,
The enate he says is a great think
ing body
And must have rest from their
care.
They think, they think their think
ing (It's hard to get this d m thing
to rhyme)
Thut the bookkeeper must have time
to think, too.
When he Hgurea up all the over
time. I think, they think they must have
plenty of time
To ligure their dear friends all
Jobs.
It's not an easy matter to proportion
it out
To their Tom, Dick, Harrys and
Bobs.
It may be, as tho bookkeeper . has
said.
That this Senate is a great-thinking
body
And am figuring a way both early
and late
To get plenty of beer, wine and
tody.
Then it may be true, their brain is at
work
To stop some needed legislation,
Or to get even with some fellow for
what he has done.
To some this is a great consola
tion. It may be they intend, as often be
fore, To let the sifting committee do
all the work.
Draw their check and go home, at
the end of the game
To their constituents, responsibil
ity will shirk.
But I am not going to say such things
they would do,
And their thinker is not thinking
O. K.
For u more qualified bunch I never
expect to meet.
That's what I think. G. W. J.
Of course it's none of our business,
but we just can't help wondering
what there is about the female form
that keeps some of our young girls
from freezing on some of these par
ticularly cold winter days. You un
derstand, now, that we don't know a
1111111! about it. but we've been told
jthal they just don't wear hardly any
I thine. Why. only this week we
i heard a girl say another girl was old
I fashioned because she wore long-
sleeved (pardon us) under-apparcl.
She didn't say "apparel" either, hut
It means that, and the girl who was
talking about the other girl didn't
have on that kind. Anyway she said
she (lidn t. out she had on some
hose that was fully as thick as a
cigarette paper split twice. We can
easily see hew a girl might powder
her fare thick enough to keep it
from freer.lnis, and since we don't
know anything about them and it
ain't any of our business, we just
guess they powder rieht good and
plenty all over and then put on a
few clothes to keep the powder from
blowing off
"Robert, dear," she naid in her
most insinuating tones, as they were
passing one of the three drug stores
along Box Butte avenue that serve
sodas with a tempting array of fruits
in syrup, etc., "did you read in the
paper this noon about the newly-invented
locomotive made to run by
soda?"
"No, 1 didn't," replied Robert,
turning pale at the hint; "hut I am
a good deal like that locomotive.
Mary."
"How so?"
"Made to run by soda." And he
did, because, you see, he hadn't the
price of two sodas about his clothes.
What is the most diflicuit train to
catch? No. 4 2, east hound, depart
ing at 12:40, because it is "twenty
to one" if you catch it.
If the newspaper should some day
print the contents of its waste bas
ket there would probably be a small
riot. There certainly would be
trouble in some homes, perhaps some
arrests in one direction, shotguns in
! another, trouble all around. But tin-
pat ron never sees the waste basket,
he only glances at the beautifully
printed page, and complains if two
letters are transposed, growlcs if his
name happens to be wrong, kicks be
cause his communication signed
"Taxpayer" has been condensed into
respectable English, frowns because
those on the paper did not take his
advice about publicly telling their
neighbors of their shortcomings, and
is generally disgruntled. He knows
his share of the waste basket, but if
he could look at the contributions to
that receptacle he would be thankful
for the existence of newspaper men
with intelligence and courage eunuch
not to print all they know, and to
temper that which he does print.
If your hat could reveal the sec
rets it covers, it would blush a bril
liant scarlet.
i There is more truth, than net ion
in the "point" to this story, at least
the writer has found it so. You
know, there is one of those places
right next door to the Herald otlice
and the partition Is none too thick
between. It goes like this:
"It is very embarrassing, isn't it,
Jennie," said a young lady to her
! friend, "when you are alone with
your beau for the first time? When
; William escorted me home last
night, we were so bashful that we
could hardly find a word to say to
each other."
' Indeed? I haven't found it so?"
"You haven't?"
"Not nt all. My beau talks all the
time and doesn't give me the least
chance to feel embarrassed. Why,
he is an authority on so many sub
jects." "He is a good tali er, then?"
"Well, 1 should smile."
"What does he do?"
"He's a barber."
"They're selling things cheap at
Fleming's this week. George is in
competition with the postmaster."
"He is. eh?"
"Yes, thirteen postage stamps for
a cent and a quarter."
"Why "
"Same as at the postoffice twen
ty-six cents. Ain't that a cent and a 1
quarter of a dollar?" ,
Don't we smoke on that?
We have heard of ambitious wives
of poor poets and preachers pound-'
ing a rag to make the neighbors
think they had beefsteak for break-'
fast, but that tale is tame compared
to this. Out in the north end of the
city a young couple keep house In a,
quiet sort of way. - The other day
the husband went hone in the even
ing, taking a friend with him to par
take of the evening meal with thcin.
That ought to entitle him to ten
days, for the happy and unsuspect
in gwife had a dainty dinner for two
all on the table. ".My dear," said
the head of the family, when his
friend had said good-night and the
door had been closed, "how was it
that you had four big potatoes baked
tonight? We never had more than
two and you could not have known
that I had company."
"I didn't."
"Yes, but you did, my dear. My
friend ate one, you ate a half one
and I ate the other half, and there
were two left in the bowl."
"Very true, my innocent," said
the laughing wife, "but those that
were left were as cold and raw as a
March morning in New England.
They were put there for appearance
to fill up; and when you bring
company home without tilling me
again, I'll make you eat them that
way."
And then they say women don't
know enough to vote! The average
woman is a genius.
EAT LESS AND TAKE
SALTS FOR KIDNEYS
Take a glass of Salts before breakfast
if your Back harts or Bladder
bothers yon.
The American men and women must
guard constantly against Kidney trouble,
because we eat too much and all our food
is rich. Our blond is filled with urio
acid which the kidneys strive to filter
out, they weaken from overwork, become
sluggish ; the eliminative tissues clog and
the result Is kidney trouble, bladder
wpnkncss and a general decline in health.
When your kidneys feel like lumps of
lead; your back hurts or the urine is
cloudy, full of sediment or you are
obliged to seek relief two or three times
during the night; if you suffer with sick
headache or dizzy, nervous spells, acid
stomach, or you have rheumatism when
the weather ia bad, 'get from your phar
macist about four ounces of Jul Salts:
take a tablespoonful in a pla?9 of
water before breakfast for a few days
and your kidneys will then act fine
This famous salts is made from the acid
of grapes and lemon juice, combined with
lithia, and has been' used for generations
to flush and stimulate clogged kidneys;
to neutralize the acids in tiie urine so it
no longer is a source of irritation, thus
ending bladder disorders.
.Tad Salts is inexpensive; eaiin.it in
jure, makes a delightful effervescent
lithia-water beverage, and belongs in
every home, because nobody can make
a mistake by having a good kidney flush
ing an j time.
WEDDED AT HOT SPRINGS
Popular Alliance Girl Man it s Son of
Well-known Hotel Man
Mr. T. W. Myers and Miss Winni-
l'rct Hobbs pulled off a surprise on
their many friends, S.-sturdcy, Feb
ruary 2 1, by hying awr.y to Hot
Springs, S. IJ., where they were unit
ed in marriage the same day by the
Uev. E. .1. d'Argont. rector of the
Episcopal church at that place.
While a surprise, it was not alto
gether such, as the event was not
unexpected by their intimat? friends,
altho the time was not known by
them beforehand.
The bride is one of Alliance's
beautiful and popular high school
girls, the accomplished daughter of
Mr. and Mrs. O. D. Hobbs, the young
est of the family. She was accom
panied on the trip to Hot Springs by
tho mother of the groom.
The groom, a son of Mr. and Mrs.
.1. V. Myers, is an employee of the
Burlington railroad. He has a
homestead sixteen miles southeast of
Alliance, on which they will make
their residence.
The Herald joins thxir nu:ny oth
er friends in extending congratula
tions and best wishes to tho newly
wedded couple.
in of (itHxl Digestion
When you see a cheerful and hap
py old lady you may know that she
lias good digestion. If your diges
tion is impaired or if you do . not
relish your meals take a dose of
Chamberlain's Tablets. They
strengthen the stomach, improve the
digestion and cause? a gentle move
ment of the bowels. Obtainable ev
erywhere. Adv mar
COOHSTKCAK ITEMS
Bert Miller, Albert Acke-s ami Ed
Deuker are busy hauling alfalfa hay
from the Nine Mile Canyon.
Mr. and Mrs. (!eo. Ackers returned
L. W. BOWMAN
Physician anil Surgeon
OFFICE: First National Bank Bldg.
PHONES: Office, 362; Residence, 1
PUBLIC STENO ORAPHER
At The Herald Office
REASONABLE RATES PROMPT
SERVICE
GEO. O. OADSBY
Licensed Embalmer
PHONE: Day, 498; Night, 610
ALLIANCE : : NEBRASKA
IMPERIAL ORCHESTRA
8 Pieces Member of A. F. of M.
H. A. DU BUQUE, Mgr.
M. II. W'HALEY, Director
Concert and Dance Work
Famous
Collins
Saddle
Best saddle
made. Have
stood the test
for 50 years.
Write for free
catalogue.
Alfred Cornish & Comp'y
Successors to Collins & Morrison.
1210 Farnani St., Omaha, Neb.
Public Stenographer
ALLIANCE HERALD OFFICE
Work Neatly and Accurately Done
from Lakeside, Wednesday, where
they spent the winter with their un
cle and aunt Mr. and Mrs. James
Dorley.
Calvin Derr and son Lyle attended
the sale of Albert Wrights' last Mon
day. Joe Derr made final proof on his
homestead last Wednesday. Joe
Neurd and Bert Miller wers his wit
nesses. Mr. and Mrs. Will Marqunrdt at
tended the Will Detrich sale near
Bayard Wednesday.
-
Mr. and Mrs. Joe Derr visited at
Bert Miller's Monday.
Clarence Silkelt from Minatare win
up to his ranch Monday.
Joe Neurd and son James were
Minatare visitors last Saturday.
Ed Deuker was transacting busi
ness in Alliance last Wcdnesdry.
CARD OI' THANKS
We wish to express our thanks
for all the kindness shown us by our
friends during the recent illness and
death of our beloved mother, Mrs. E.
.1. Hicks.
JOHN I. HICKS.
EDITH L. Tl'RCOTT,
GEO. E. HICKS,
LCLA BAY LESS.
ALLEN N. HICKS.
KITT1E A. MARSH.
DRINK A GLASS
OF REAL HOT WATER
BEFORE BREAKFAST.
Says we will both look and feel
clean, sweet and fresh
and avoid illness.
Sanitary science has of late made
rapid strides with results that are of
untold blessing to humanity. The lat
est application of its untiring research
is the recommendation that it is as
necessary to attend to internal sanita
tion of the drainage system of the hu
man body as it is to the drains of the
house.
Those of us who are accusomed to
feel dull and heavy when we arise,
splitting headache, stuffy from a cold,
foul tongue, nasty breath, acid stom
ach, can, instead, feel as fresh as a
daisy by opening the sluices of the sys
tem each morning and flushing out the
whole of the internal poisonous stag
nant matter.
Everyone, whether ailing, sick or
well, should, each morning before
breakfast, drink a glass of real hot
water with a tenvoonfu of limestone
phosphate In it to wash from the stom
ach, liver and bowels the previous
day's indigestible waste, sour bile and
Iolsonous toxins; thus cleansing,
sweetening and purifying the entire
alimentary canal before putting more
food into the stomach. The action of
hot water and limestone phosphate on
an empty stomach is wonderfully in
vigorating. It cleans out all the sour
fermentations, gases, waste and acidity
and gives one a splendid appetite for
breakfast. While you are enjoying
your breakfast the phosphated hot
water is quietly extracting a large vol
ume of water from the blood and get
ting ready for a thorough flushing of
all the Inside organs.
Tho millions of iteople who are both
ered with constipation, bilious ppells,
stomach trouble, rheumatic Milfr.ess;
others who have sallow skins, blood
disorders and !ckly complexions are
urged to get a quarter pound of lime
stone phosphate from the drug store.
This will cost very little, but is suffi
cient to make anyone a pronounced
crank on the subject of internal san
itation, i
L. A. II K R R Y
LAWYER
Phone 9 Room 0 Riuner Block
Alliance, Nebraska-
J. JEFFREY, D. C. Ph. C.
A. O. JEFFREY. D. C.
CHIROPRACTORS
OFFICE HOURS, 10 A. M. to 8 P. It '
NEW WILSON BLOCK
Geo. J. Hand,n. D.
A 8 T II A M A and
HAY FEVER
Eye, Ear, Nose and Throat
PHONE 251
Calls answered from office day
night.
Professional Photographer
Quality Portraits
Interior and Exterior Views
Kodak Finishing
Enlaiging all Styles
51. EL GREBE, Proprietor
ALLIANCE ART STUDIO
Phone Red 165
H. A. COPSEY
Physician and Surgeon
Office Phone, 360 Res. Phone, 341
Calls answered promptly day an
night from office. Offices: Alliano
National Bank Building, over the
Post Office.
C. E. SLAGLE, M. D.
Physician and Surgeon
Office phone, 65 Res. phone, 5
ALLIANCE NEBRASKA
BURTON & REDDISH
Attomeys-at-Law
Land Attorneys
OFFICE, First National Back Bids
PHONE 180
ALLIANCE NEBRASKA
"LET ME CRY FOR YOU"
HARRY P. COURSE?
Live Stock and General Sales
Specialist and Auctioneer
FARM SALES A SPECIALTY
Terms Reasonable
PHONE 664
ALLIANCE : NEBRASKA
THOMAS LYNCH
Att'y-Ht-l4iw
1 5 1 9-1521 City National Bank Bldg.
OMAHA
SHi'iiil Attention to Live Stock
CluiniN
J. D. EMERICK
Bonded Abstracter
1 have the only set of abstract
books in Box Butte County
OFFICE: Km. 7. Opera House Blocfc
DR. D..E. TYLER
Dentist
PHONE 362
OYER FIRST NATIONAL BANK
ALLIANCE NEBRASKA
Will outlast several steel tanks oi
several tanks made from other Ma
terial, and cost less money. Theaa
tanks will keep the water cooler In
summer and warmer in winter. Send
for price list today.
ATIiAS TANK MFC. COMPANY.
Fred Bolsen, Manager,
1102 W. O. V. Bldg., Omaha, IfeW
IMOMAHA VI SI T THE
ifo n f teTZ "Omaba'a Fun
(illustrator's- 'LA
oesiGN ers
EVERY WEEK iPH glEO:
C ur. Cuny fi!-ti'.rn.iM. .rrt:;. fr.M. i.t af.n
i.'oifl i.e ttipsit :;w
DOTtT CO HOME SAYING!
I DIDN'T VP?!TTKEGAYETY
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