REPORTER GOT WRONG STEER
ttory Written Undoubtedly Wat a
Good One, but the Facte Didn't
Bear It Oat
Rome years ego Carl Crow, anther
of "Japan and America," was the nib
reporter on a Texas newspaper, one
f his duties' belns to cover the po
lice station. One day, Just before
press time he made his usual trip to
eee the desk sergeant
"Have a great story for you," snld
Che sergeant "We arrested a parrot
out on Front street awhile ago on
charge of using abusive language.
The neighbors complained so much
we had to go out and lock the old
bird op."
After getting a few more details
Crow rushed back to the office and
wrote a funny story about the arrest
Of the bird. He was congratulating
himself on landing a story on the first
page, an hour-or so after the paper
got on the streets, when the telephone
bell rang and he had to listen to a tor
rent of abuse from an Irate lady at
the other end of the line. It devel
oped that she was Mrs. rarrot, and
he had been arrested for using abu
sive language, but she bitterly re
sented being written up as a bird.
After she had exhausted her vocabu
lary and was preparing for a new
start she asked:
"What Is your namef . -
"Crow," said the' reporter.
"What did you sayT"
"I said my name was Crow."
"Too think you are blamed smart
don't you?" sold the freshly insulted
Mrs. Farrot as she hung up the re
elver. ,
ELASTIC FASHIONS IN CHINA
Everything In Any Way Suitable for
Wearing Apparel "Goes" in the
Province of Klangsu.
Hall, Klnnpsn province, North China,
home of the slant-eyed Flora McFlIm
aeys of Far CatMay I Not like Madison
square there; you can't plead "noth
tng to wear" in Klangsu, for anything
Is in style ; everything goes 1 From
fiuchlen, in the North China Dally Her
ald, comes this:
"The fashions here this year are
Meal. - Every man wears what is right
In his own eyes and there are few to
ridicule. A panaina goes jauntily down
the street followed by a fur-covered
brim cap. - Felt hats of scarlet and
verdigris green follow along with grays
and browns that really do the amateur
hatters credit Eskimo top capes, a
few derby hats and the smart military
uniforms give the streets a piquancy
that one used to miss in the monoton
ous China-blue crowds.
. "Of all the notices posted on the city
gate the one that attracts the most at
tention Is the fashion plate that-has
been exhibited for weeks. It displays
two or three of the typical 'Western
suits. There are the 'swallow-tailed
and the low-front frock for evening
functions. There one finds the plaited
skirts recommended for the women.
The proud silk of 'stove-pipe' hat has
Its corner with the other felts.
"A wise concession to the soaring
prices of leather is made in the op
tional styles of shoes. The cloth boot
now has its place with the newer
leather."
Remains of Cliff Man.
While driving their sheep out of a
natural cave in- a lonely part of tho
Navajo Indian reservation several
miles south of Bluff, Utah, Indian herd
ers discovered the remains of a man.
The matter was reported to Frank
Hyde of Bluff, who got in communica
tion with the Indians and bought from
them a perfect mummy of an ancient
cliff dweller.
The Indians also gave Hyde the skto
of an animal that resembled a musk
rat stuffed with tobacco leaves. Two
pipes made of soft lime rock were also
found, and a fine wound reed basket
A pair of sandals were also among tho
articles brought In by tho Indians.
The features of the mummy resem
ble those of tho present-day Chinese.
The man was of small stature.
More Insane Than In College.
Enforcement of the law by probate
Judges preventing epileptics and feeble
minded from being married would cor
rect many of the evils eugenics are
striving to abolish, Harry C. Bowman
of tho- Kansas board of control told
the Kansas Conference of Charities
and Corrections. Talk of eugenics, he
said, was useless.
The speaker said Juvenile courts ac
complished lruch reformation, but
county and city Jails seldom cause per
manent reformation. He deplored the
increase in Imbecility, declaring the
census from 1904 to 1010 showed an
Increase of 23 per cent in hospitals
12 per cent of ine entire population.
"There are more insane In the
United States than students In colleges
and universities," said Bowman.
Irish Soldier Gave Warning.
A new story of the British encoun
ter with the Prussian Guards Is told
by a corporal of a Warwickshire regi
ment who Is wounded and at home in
England.
"The night the Prussian Guards at
tacked us around Ypres," he says, "it
ras only by chance and heroism that
we were warned In time. An Irishman
of the King's Liverpool regiment hud
tone out of the bounds to meet a
girl. Coming boiue late he stumbled on
the Germans stealing quietly toward
our position.
"Without a thought of consequences
to himself he dashed toward our
guard to give the alarm. The Germans
shot blm In both legs, but he got
through with the warning,"
Yes, Do It Now
JO your shopping early while tho
good things are on tap.
Crab the early bargains while they Ye
on the bargain map.
Don't be one of those Kites that hit
the shopping trails
When all the clerKs are weary after
forty thousand sales.
What's the use of loafing while the
early shoppers win?
When you are sweating lava, those
same early birds will grin I
Christmas eve the pleasant girls
who ladle out the toys
Will be so worn and weary they'll
have no Christmas Joys.
Haven't they a right to holler at
your putter and delay?
Pray leave them strength to cele
brate a bit on Christmas day I
If you put off your shopping till the
very last hour,
I hepe you draw a lemon that is
second-hand and sour I
The lardy shopper blithely said. A
Merry Christmas girlie I"
The clerft replied. "If you were dead
. or did your shopping early
We could enjoy a little fun around
our Christmas table.
But slow-poh.es heep me on the run,
till Christmas Joy's a fable."
OPEN NOSTRILS! END
A COLD OR CATARRH
How To Get Relief When Head
and Nose are Stuffed Up.
Count fifty I Tour eoM in had or
catarrh disappear. Your clogged nos
trils will oprn, the air paaaagrs of your
head will clr and yon can brmthe
freely. No more snuffling, hawking,
mucous discharge, dryness or vadftch;
no struggling for breath at nlgh
Get a small bottle of Kly'a Cream
Palm from your droggUt and apply a
little of this fragrant antincntie erevn
In your nostrils. It peiwtrates through
every air passage of the head, soothing
and dealing the swollen or inflamed
mucous membrane, giving you inatant
relief. Head colds and eatsrrh yield
like magic. Don't stay stuUed up and
miserable. Relict la sure.
Ira E. Taah haa received a letter
from Sapt. Corbln dated at Las Ve
gas, N. M. He spent a couple of
days there on his trip to California.
Few bad roads have been encounter
ed and the trip is being enjoyed im
mensely. I Mil In the market to buy your
potatoes. Rc mo for prices. Phone
210. It XV. ltKAL. Oflice corner
2nd and Ilox liutte Ate., basement
Iteddish block.
i
Mrs. J. J. Rodgers returned to her
home at Edgemont, the early part
of the week, following a short visit
at the home of Mrs,- B. W. Beardon.
Miss Clenthia Beardon accompanied
her to Edgemont, returning to Alli
ance the next day. ' .
James Stapleton, bookkeeper at
the DIerks Lumber Co. office In this
city, has been transferred to Hazard,
Nebr., where he has been placed In
charge of the yards of the company
at that place. Mr. tSapleton has
been with the company for some two
years, coming to Alliance in June
from Broken Bow, where he was
employed in the office of the com
pany there.
One hundred thousand dollars
($100,000.00) to loan at 6 per cent
Interest on Ilox Butte county land
and sand hill ranches. We charge a
small commission. We examine our
own loans and pass on tlicra and far
nlsh money at once.
NEBRASKA LAND CO.
a none to eraorans
piano boveds
Everybody knows that Christmas Is the
Piano man's harvest when you pay big
profits. You can eliminate this loss, however,
by taking advantage of our Factory-to-IIome
Selling Plan and Profit-Sharing System, and
save from $100 to $200. - ,
Our Pianos are Quality Pianos, fully guaranteed for 25
years, backed by our &9 years' Piano experience and by our
entire capital and resources of over $1,000,000.00.
Write today how to obtain a Piano or Player Plato Free, and our
oatalof, prioes and all other information will be seat by return mall.
DON'T DELAY! DO IT NOW!
GchmoIIcr fit Mueller Piano Co.
Manufacturers of High Grade Pianos and Player Pianos '
1311-13 Pamam St., Omaha, Neb. ErfablUbed 1859
Please send your catalogue and all information about your tin
bkoelled Piano and Player Piano offers.
t'ame .. .
Addreaa-
s-,i.'if.TrI.UJXaU3
TWICE-TOLD TESTIMONY
Alliance People Are Doing All They
Can for Fellow Sufferers
Alliance testimony haa been pub
lished to prove tho merit of Doan's
Kidney rills to others in Alliance
who suffer from bad backs and kid
ney ills. Lest any sufferer doubt
this evidence of merit, we produce
confirmed proof statements from
Alliance people who again endorse
Doan's Kidney Pills confirm their
former testimony. Here's an Alli
ance case:
Mrs. C. Brown, 612 Box Butte
Ave., says: "I had a severe attack of
kidney trouble, accompanied by dic
ey spells. I felt completely run
down and as If I would have to go
away to some place and take a rest.
Doan's Kidney Pills gave great re
Hot from the first box and when I
had finished three boxes, I didn't
think it necessary to continue using
them, as I was feeling well and
strong again." (Statemont given
May 8, 1907.)
On June 7, 1916, Mrs. Brown
said: "Doan's Kidney Pills have giv
en me great relief and I have a high
regard for this good medicine. I
shall always recommend it to any
one suffering the way I did."
Price 60c, at all dealers. Don't
simply ask for a kidney remedy
get Doan's Kidney Pills the same
that -Mrs. Brown has twice publicly
recommonded. Foster-Mliburn Co.,
Props., Buffalo, N. Y.
Deo 7-14
HAOB0R
r
' I Hi " ; , . , . , r .mi
j MORE
If you are considering the giving of a player piano this
Christmas, a gift that will be a life long companion and means of unusual enjoyment to every
member of the family, you cannot do better than to choose a
Ibaboorff flMavcr flMano
It is "just the gift" that will bring a lasting appreciation'of the donor and an era of
musical enjoyment far beyond the most ambitious imagination of the days when you dared
hope for the ability to personally play the music you enjoyed bestAll the music of the world,
all the old, all the new, is at your command. It makes you the equal of the artist whose tech
nique and correct interpretation represents a lifetime of labor.
3f rom fllbahcr to you
Haddorff Made Players are sold direct. They are the most moderately priced of any high-grade Player Piano. They represent 20 years cf success
ful manufacturing of pianos, which are today recognized as the standard by which piano values are judged.
THERE ARE A FEW MORE DAYS IN WHICH TO MAKE YOUR SELECTION FOR CHRISTMAS DELIVERY.
MANY STYLES AND MANY WOODS FROM WHICH TO CHOOSETERMS TO SUIT YOU.
We carry a complete line of AEOLIAN VOCALION and COLUMBIA GRAFONOLA talking machines. We have a complete line of records, includ
ing many of the old familiar Christmas songs and hymns. COME IN AND HEAR THESE.
j -
1 : : is
RFF MUSIC HOUSE
T. Me HAMPE, Manager
Alliance Motel Building,
Alliance, Nebraska
OPEN EVENINGS UNTIL CHRISTMAS
BRANCH STORES AT CHADRON AND SCOTTSBLUFF