Xloj'o Column j Young Hiram was plowing the field and It was spring. "It's spring, for sure, father," he said, and added, looking wistfully down toward the brookside, "I bet the trout are biting down there In the hole under the willows." "Hiram, if you'll just hang on to them reins, and be careful to keep on this side of that there fence," the father replied assuring, "they won't bite you." Little Dorothy, whose father owned a canning factory, went to Sunday school for the first time, but soon came home screaming at the top of her voice. "Why Dorothy," said the father, "what Is the matter?" "Oh, Daddy," said she cried. "Don't let them do It, will you?" "Do what cfilldT" "Don't let them can me!" she sobbed. "Can you? What do you mean?" "Why, the teacher said for every body to sing, 'Can a little child like me,' and then I ran away 'fore they did It." A group of Chinese boys were dis cussing the relative merits of two bill boards one advertising Carnation milk, the other Dull Durham. One of the boys was explaining the signs to the others, so: "In America they have he cows and she cows. The she cows give milk and the he cows give tobacco." Arthur sat on the front doorsteps, crying softly. "What is the matter, little boy?" asked a kind-hearted woman who was passing. "Ma's gone an' drowned all the kitens," he sobbed. "What a pity, I'm awfully sorry." "An' s-she promised boohoo -'at I c'u'd do it." Once on the aidge of a pleasant pool. Under the banks where 'twas dark and cool, Where bushes over the water hung. And rushes nodded, and grasses swung. Just where the crick flowed outer the bog, There lived a grumpy and mean ole frog. Who'd set all day In the mud and soak And do nothin' but just croack and croak. 'Till a blackbird hollered, "I say, yer know, What is the matter down there be low? Are you In trouble, er pain, er what?" The frog sei, "Mine is a orful lot; Nothin' but mud and dirt and slime For me ter look at Juest all the time. It a dirty world!" so the old fool spoke. "Croaklty-croaklty-croak!" "But yer lookln' down!" the black bird said; "Look at the blossoms overhead, Look at the lovely summer skies, Look at the bees and butterflies, Look up, old feller. Why, bless yer soul, Yer lookln' down In a must'rat hole!" But still with a gurglln' sob and choke The blame ole critter would only croak. And a wise old turtle, who boarded near, Sex to the blackbird, "Friend, see here: . Don't shec no tears over him, (er uo Is low-down, jest 'cause he likes to be; He's one er them kind er chumps that's glad Ter be so mis-rable-like and sad; V r T t t r r t f v f t v f t y f r r r t o o An Ahhouncement :-: V 1' I have purchased the tailor shop of Hugh Boyd, located in the Alliance National Bank basement, and solicit a share of your work in CLEANING PRESSING REPAIRING t T Y t y f t r y t f t r It will be my aim to give satisfaction in all cases, and I solicit your work on this basis. t L. A. McElhaney Phone 133 Work called for and delivered, y jMjnjeejeejee Ladies & Gents' Clothes to order. Do You Judge a Play by The Price of the Ticket- Or bv the Performance You See? Do you judge a sack of flour by the cost or by the quality of the bread it makes? Do you judge a suit by the tailor's bill or by the fit and finish of the clothes themselves T Do you judge a hotel by the rate per day or by the service you gett Does low price give you as much satisfaction as good quality f Then why judge a motor car by its price t You cannot get something for nothing. You get exactly what you pay for. New Six-40, $1,400 You can't get Chalmers quality at less than Chalmers price. WARD B. NORTON I'll tell yer somethtn' that ain't no Joke, Don't waste yer aorrer on folk a that croak." News Age. An Irishman who was too old for active work waa offered the postlon of crossings tender at a small rail road station. He looked dubious aa the duties of the office were explained to him and the meaning of the var ious flags were clearly stated. "In case of da niter with a train com In of course, you wave the red flag." and hla friend proceeded with hla explanations. A hard old hand grasped hla arm. "Man. dear. It'll never do," said Patrick, shaking hla head solemnly. "I could never trust myself to re member to wave a red flag whin there waa a green wan handy." Luck whines; labor whistles. Luck believes In chance; labor believea In elbow grease. Luck looks for something to turn up; labor turna It up with thought and a made. LucK lies in bed and dreams of a rich relative dying and leaving a legacy, or some great person, with favors to give, suddenly discovering the dreamer to be a genula; labor rises before the sun and geta busy with saw or plow or pen, and lays the foundation for something worth while for Itself. Luck hit If off big yesterday, but spent It all while waiting for another hit to come along; labor stuck to lta chosen task, and showed a margin of rroflt on every day. Luck Anally died In the almshouse labor won an Independent competncj for Ha old days. Henry ForTa Bul letin. The Old Oaken Advertiser. How dear to our hearts la the old advertiser, Who runs his stuff fifty-two weeks In the year, He turna up on Monday with good, snnapy copy And drives out the blues with hla laughter and cheer. He never says. "Kill It," "The people won't read It," "It don't do no good" nor "I can't stand the pace." But cornea to the front (with bis check) like -a major. And Bometimea says. "Bill, better j double that space." Oh. the old advertiser, The good old advertiser, The safe advertiser We all love so well. The Newttpaiiem Courage. Once in a while somebody gets the idea that the reason the local paper doea not report every scandal that conies to public knowledge is because the publisher is afraid. That's not the reason. The reputable newspaper, especially In a small town where ev eryone ia a neighbor to everyone else, takea no delight In giving publicity to those things that have brought dis grace to Borne family or heartache to aome wife or mother. It la much more pleasant to record the good things that happen, to tell about the Incidents that tend to make life more endurable, and that uplift rather than tear down, that bring Joy instead of sorow, pride Instead of heartache. So If you don't always find In The Herald the delectable bit of gossip that would doubtless make "good reading." and if you are inclined to blame the editor because he "doesn't print all the news," consider that some home has had enough worry over unfortunate happenings, and that the gosslpa and scandal mongers or the community can and will gladly and ghoullshly give sufficient pub licity to the details to satisfy the low est tastes. Incidentally, it might be remarked here that th emost com plaint of censored news comes from people who have now or have had In their Uvea some things they are very glad were not given newspaper pub licity. There come timea, of course, when it ia the definite business o fthe local newspaper to speak right out In meeting, to tell what happened, to give open publicity to conditions that are a reproach to a community and for which the light of publicity seems the only cure. Tolerance is not a lack of courage. Oueer Quirks of New. Glenwood Springs, Colo. Emll Freidhein bit himself on the foot with hla false teeth last week. He was reading in bed, he sneezed, bis teeth flew out and on the floor. He hopped out of bed to find them. He stepped with hla full weight upon two of the teeth which has become broken off. His foot was badly lacerated. Pittsburg, Ta. Mylo Culler, haa In his show window three young chickens hatched from eggs that were never laid. He killed three laying hens and took from each an egg which had formed, but had no shells. Culler then took plaster parla and, binding it with strips of court plaster, he made sheila to keep the eggs from breaking open. The eggs were then placed in an Incubator and yesterday the chicks made their debut. They are doing nicely, thank you. New York Jacob Hyman, elderly, lived with the three Gretsch' girls. When be went fishing he took them along. Herta Gretsch always obeyed his Instructions to keep perfectly quiet While the fish were bitting. The slslters didn't. Last week he died and left Herta $10,000. Bridgeport, O. The longest bar In the state of Ohio has been con structed here for the Acorn Liquor company. It Is for the convenience of the visitors from dry Wheeling, acrosa the river, In West Virginia. The bar la 150 feet long and 0 bar tenders work behind It. There are two other bars In town almost as long. Shelbyville, Ind. Rev. John Reese, baptising 30 converts in the river here was forced to halt the Always the Best Work PAINTING, PAPER HANGING AND DECORATING Estimates gladly furnished Work guaranteed to please PHONE BLACK 282 B. V. REEVES ALLIANCE, N E R. MEMORIAL DAY PROGRAM '8 tart right by making your selection of flower early to avoid the rush at the lattt minute. Sunday Is Memorial Day, and we have plenty of flowers on band to supply every one. Cut flowers of all kinds. Potted plant in our annex next door. RAY'S FLOWER STORE Phones: Store, 113; Residence and Greenhorn, 433 WE HAVE A LARGE SUPPLY OF VEGETABLE PLANTS READY TO SET OUT iiiiiiiiiiiiiniiiiiiiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiniia IS IT AN OIL STOVE If it is, we can serve you, for we carry the "steel finished" "ALCAZAR" the oil stove that burns 400 gallons of air to one gallon of Kerosene, and does not heat the entire house. Just think an oil stove that gives the same results, in less time, and with less preparation, than a coal stove and 10 cents worth of Kerosene does the work of 50 cents worth of coal. A direct saving of 40 cents on each gallon. If you want Hardware, Harness, Vehicles, Implements, Queensware, or Paints, see our lines. -1 . Rhein-Rousey Co. Successors to L L, ACHESON ceremonies several times because of a queer sensation around one of hla legs. After the ceremony It wa found that a one-pound black' bass had swam up the trouser leg of the preacher. It was captured and the preacher has a fish supper. fcdwardsvllle. 111. Harry Miller has become the patron and sponsor for a strange dog which rode Into town the other day on an interurban car and which spent the afternoon Jumping on various rapidly moving city and interurban electric cara. A at fast aa the dog would board a car th conductor would put him off. IIe would "flip" another. Miller cap tured him and calls him Ginger. Seattle, Wash. Annie Olson saved the expense of a moving van last week when she shipped her house hold goods by parcel post, the bill for stamps being $4.62. She said it cost her $20 the old style. Odebolt, Ia. The Livingstons did not get along well. She sued for di vorce on the grounds of cruelty and get 15,000 In lieu of alimony. Later Livingston wrote his ex-wife, ex pressing sorrow and contrition and proposed that they make it up and marry again. She came to Odebolt to give him another chance but he had changed hla mind. She sued him fro breach of promise and waa awarded $6,000 damages. Some Forma of Rheumatism Curable Rheumatism la a disease charac terized by palna In the Joints and in the muscles. The most common forms are: Acute and Chronic Rheu matism, Rheumatic Headaches, Scia tic Rheumatism and Lumbago. All of these types can be helped absol utely by applying some good liniment that penetrates. An application of Sloan a Liniment two or three times a day to the affected part will give instant relief. Sloan'a Liniment is good for pain, and especially Rheu matic Tain, because it penetrates to the seat of the trouble, soothes the afflicted part and draws the pain. Sloan's Liniment ia all medicine." Get a 25c bottle now. Keep it bandy In case of emergency. Adv No. 3 SCORES WIRING State Fire CommlHioner lit d gel 1 Says mat Wiring; In Old Itullding Should lie Torn Out. State Fire Commissioner W. 8. Rldgell stopped In Alliance on Fri day, staying at the Burlington. While in the city he made, a trip of inspect ion and called attention. to the elec tric wiring in several buildings which he said waa in a dungerous condition and should be torn out. "Your city ordinances cover the electric wiring proposition," said Judge uidgell. "Many firea are caused by defective wiring and it should heve careful attention. I found wiring In a number of places that should be removed." Burlington Bubbles Superintendent Wldenhelmer went to Deadwood, S. D., today to attend to business matters. A cattle train, consisting of 47 car loads, paased thru Alliance Wednes day and with the exception of nine teen cars all were unloaded and fed here. The load was made up in var ious parts of Nebraska, Wyoming and Montana, and was enroute to Omaha markets. Dispatcher Gavin remark ed to a Herald reporter that the stock buslnea bo far la considerably behind that of previous years, due principal ly to the foot and mouth dlaease, and to the extreme high price of feeders. General Superintendent E. E. Young expects to make a trip through the Black Hills Friday. Twenty-six carloads of horses, headed for Grand Island, from Miles City, Montana, passed thru here Wed nesday, these horses being for the ul timate use of the English army. It seems that Grand Island is the assem bling point for this war stock, and from that town tbey are shipped to the coast and from there to England or France, whichever may be the destination. Western Nebraska Thirty Years Dr. George J. Hand celebrated bid thirtieth "birthday" in western Ne braska on May 10. He came at that 'time with his parents to what la now the preaent site of Hay Springs from Omaha. There was no town 1'. the present Hay Springs site at that time the nearest approach to a town beinte a tent saloon three miles awa Lr. Hand moved to Alliance in October, I f M. un.J has been engaged a pir. tlct rie since that time. lirenk No Windows Boys who throw stones and break windows will receive prompt and summary punishment by the police. A number of windows have been broken recently by boys who threw Btonea, either purposely or by acci dent. The police have been instruct ed to watch out for boys who do this. PUT CREAM IN NOSE AND STOP CATARRH Tells Bow To Open Clogged Nos trils sad Ead Bead-Colds. Yon feel fin is a few aomeut. Your cold ia head or catarrh will be gone. Your clogged aoetrila will ope. The air psssagiia of your kead will clear and yea can breathe freely. No mora dull mtmt, headache) no hawking, snuffling, mucous discharge or dryness; no strug gling for breath at Bight Toll your druggist you want a small botUc of Ely's Cream Balm. Apply a little of this fragrant, antiseptic cream ia your nostrils, let it penetrate through every air paasege of the head; soothe and heal the swoltaa, inflamed mucous membrane, and relief cornea instantly. It ia Just what every 00 Id and catarrh sufferer needs. Don't atay stuff4uf and Buserabla.