WATCH FOR THE DATE OF THE
OPENING OF THE NEW MILLINERY
STORE. MRS. ZEHRUNG.
ovVe Column H
ain't got ne tlase for such foolln'.
She roes ost washlnV-Phlladelphla
Ledger. .
Films 10c
Packs developed, 20c.
Prints, 3c to 6c
Post Cards, So.
Return postage prepaid.
fe specialize in mail order serriee. All work returned
24 hours after receired.
We carry a full line of Cameras and Photo Supplies.
The Photo Craft Shop
"Film Specialists" .'
418 Bee Bldff., Omaha, Nebr.
Dierks Lumber & Coal
Company
HeadQuarters for
Building Material
Mbre4ed Bradley A Vroman Paints
I Blocks, lightning Rods, SLAB. Floor Covering
DYE & OWENS
Transfer Line
Household goods
moved promptly
and transfer work
arwAitj- soiiciiea.
Dray Phone 64 Residence phone S3S and
" For travellers, mariners,
etc., Promethean fire and phos
phorus ; G. Watta respectfully
acquaint the public that he
.hai prepared a large quantity
f machine of a portable and
durable kind, with Promethean
Ire, paper and match enclosed,
most admirably calculated to
prevent those disagreeable sen
sations which most frequently
arise in the dreary hour of mid
night from sudden alarms,
thieves, fire or sickness."
This Advertisement
is 125 Years Old
In the Morning
Post, published in
London, in 1788, ap
peared this, the first
match advertisement
ever published.
In the 125 years
that have slipped by
since this advertise
ment was printed,
extraordinary
changes have taken
place in the manu
facture of matches.
The last word in
matches is the Safe
Home brand. These
matches conform
with the new Federal
law, designed to pro
tect match factory
employees, and re
move a poison from
the reach of children in
American homes.
Safe Home Matches
don't spark or sputter.
Old-fashioned matches
did both.
Safe Home Matches
burn evenly. Old-fashioned
matches burnt fit
fully or not at all.
"The world do move."
5c. All grocers.
Ask for them by nam.
Joked on Ford Automobile
The Ford automobile, being the
most popular auto made, is naturally
the butt of many Jokes. We repro
duce herewith a few of these Jokes
heard by us within the last few days.
Herald readers are Invited to send
In additional Jokes to add to our col
lection.
No. 1. Down In Denver a man
entered a large men's clothing store
and asked to see a 12 suit. After
making his selection he purchased a
1 6 pair of shoes. This aroused the
curiosity of the salesman, who asked
him wny It was that he purchased a
12 suit and a $6 pair of shoes. "Oh,
said the customer, "I own a Ford
car and spend most of my time on
my back under the car, so all that
shows is my shoes and it doesn't mat
ter about my suit.
No. 2. "I see that every 1915
Ford car is to have a phonograph
with it as part of its regular equip
ment," said a Scottsbluff business
man to us the other day. We of
course asked why a phonogTaph
should be added to the Ford as part
of its regular equipment. Why, you
see," said the man, "the phonograph
is attached to the speedometer on
the Ford and whenever the car gets
to running over 20 miles per hour it
starts the phonograph, which sings,
"Nearer. My Ood to Thee."
No. 3. "I had my car equipped
with a magnetized axle," said an Al
liance man who owns a large tour
lng car, "and when I came into the
garage the other day I found three
Fords clinging to this axle, that
had run across out in the country.'
No. 4. Here is one by a New
York travellag man. .. A farmer boy
In eastern Nebraska was sitting un
der a bridge fishing. Along came an
auto and rattled over the bridge.
big frog sitting in the shade of
water lily said. "BHICK, B U-
I C K, B U I C K." Along came an
other auto and a guinea hen In
nearby field sang, "Cadillac, Cadll
lac, Cadillac." Then along came
Ford car and a little sparrow up in a
tree sang out, "Cheep, cheep, cheep.'
No. 5. The Ford has sometimes
been called a "road louse" by envi
ous owners. A popular Alliance
young lady is authority for the fol
lowing story. A Kansas man who
owned a big, heavy automobile was
envious of Uxe Ford owners who
swept past him so lightly In their!
"road lice". So this auto owner
went into a drug store, purchased 1 2
worth of lice powder, went out Into
the country where many Fords pass
ed, and sprinkled the powder along
the road for a mile or two. That af
ternoon six Fords came along,
breathed the powder and immediate
ly turned over in the roadside and
died.
No. 8. An Iowa man who had a
Ford wanted to sell it. He adver
tised It In the paper for several
weeks for 1600 but no buyer came.
He then advertised It for 1250, bat
no buyer. Then he advertised that
on a certain morning at e o'clock he
would run the Ford down to the cor
ner by the First National bank and
the first person who came and got It
could have it free of charge. So on
the appointed morning he ran the
car down to the bank corner but
there was no one in sight. He left
the car standing by the corner and
stepped out of sight around the bull
ding. After waiting about five min
utes he wondered who was going to
get the car and decided to peek a
round and see who the lucky person
was. Imagine his amazement when
on looking he found five more Fords
lined up in a row behind his car.
"What did they say to you?" ask
ed little Harry's mother after bis
first vlalt to the new Sunday school.
"The teacher said she was glad to I
see me there."
"Yes."
"And she said she hoped I would
come every Sunday."
"And was that all she said?"
"No, she asked me if our family
belonged to that abomination." I
Chicago Record-Herald.
Little drops of water, poured into
the milk, gives the milkman's daugh
ter lovely gowns of silk. Little
grains of sugar mingled with the
grocer's sand make the grocer's as-1
sets swell to beat the band. Little
bowls of custard, humble though
they seem, help enrich the fellow
selling pure ice cream. Little rocks
and bowlders, little chunks of slate,
make the coal man s fortune some
thing fierce and great. Little drops
of rosin on the fiddler's bow makes
the pretty music i nthe biggest show.
Little drops of hot air, from the
grafter's tongue, draws the eager
suckers to get caught and stung. Lit
tle gobs of knowledge, from the
teacher's pen, makes the little child
ren wiBe as all the men. Little rays
of sunlight, coming in one spot,
makes the steady worker wonder
why it's hot. Little bits o' whiskers,
on the dandy'a face, gets the busy
barbers In a running race. Little
calves and coltles, eating on the
grass, make the happy ranchman rich
so very fast. Little bits of armies,
coming more and more, kept on in-
creasln until Europe got in war.
A 8TOKY WITHOUT AN KND
(By Walter Thilllp Connors)
lie appeared to be a rather gay
young chap and he was a fairly good
talker, although he had a peculiar
absent minded way of watching ev
erything that was going on In the
car. We were on our way to New
York from Chicago and had 'become
acquainted in the usual way, in a
game of cards.
lie was an Englishman and was
going home to get his sweetheart and
bring her back to his Wyoming
ranch. His name was Peal, George
L. Peal, and his father was a wealthy
English barrister. We parted in I
New York. He went for his boat and
I for my train.
Five years later we met again. We
did not know each other because of
the time and also because of his
clothing, for he was a Jailbird, dress
ed in stripes. He recognised me first
but was too proud to let me know
that it was he. However he soon
told me his story, heart broken and
with sobs, one dark, chilly autumn
day In the Leavenworth prison.
When he had arrived home . in
England he had gone direct to her
home and, found her dying. She had
pneumonia. She waa buried three
days after he arrived. He had then
come back to the United States,
fought the homestead law, was ar
rested for defrauding the govern
ment. -Ana now 1 am a poor, pen
niless, miserable Jailbird," he ex
claimed
1 m. ...
1 leu mm ana inea to obtain a
pardon for him. It was slowly pro
gressing when news came that he
had escaped. Where did he cof I
hope he will read this story because
there Is waiting for him in the Bank
of London a deposit of 100.000
pounds, 9500,000, left to him by a
distant relative and he will also find
a pardon for himself in the Leaven
worth vaults, under the care of the
warden.
Some complaint has come regard'
lng the giving of half the road in
case of an automobile coming up be
hind a team. The parties claim that
when they come up behind a fellow
with a team he stubbornly refuses
to give any of the road, no matter
if there is plenty of room to turn
out Now the law recognises the
rights of both the man with the
team and the man with the auto, and
these rights should be respected.
mere are plenty or men who are
running autos who should be driv-
lng ox teams an dvice versa, but all
men should not be treated that war.
The law says that when a man driv
ing is overtaken by a faster vehicle
the man driving the slower vehicle
shau turn out and give half of the
beaten path.
Should Watch Their Light
Alliance autolsts are cautioned to
keep their lights securely fastened
when taking trips in the country. We
remember how three or four years
ago an Alliance auto owner, while
riding in the country after dark, lost
his tail light and one of his side light
they being brought into town the
next day by a farmer who had found
them laying by the road. In order
to avoid this, we would suggest that
autolsts also confine their attention
strictly to driving the car.
Here is the latest, story of one of
the most popular after dinner speak
ers of New York: "Mamma, am I de
scended from a monkey?' I don't
know she answered,' "I never met
your fathers people.' "-
The suffrage parade was rounding
the plata. A Jeering youth with his
velvet hat far back on his head and
a pair of large yellow shoes, made
facetious remarks as the marchers
trallded by.
"Back to the cook stove!" he cried
An elderly man looked around at
him.
"Is your mother in the parade?
he asked.
"My mother!" gasped the youth.
'Well I should say not! My mother
YOUNG MEN! YOUNG WOMEN!
Now is the time to make your school plans for September.
IX you want to prepare for a position in the civil service, bank,
wholesale house, railroad superintendent's office, and the 101
otber lines of work, this big school will help you.
If you want to better your general education, if you want
to be a more successful farmer, we want you to see our big
year book.
PARENTS Your girl needs a business education I She
will be a better home manager, and her knowledge will be a
source of protection to her throughout life.
For catalog, address,
HASTINGS BUSINESS COLLEGE,
(WE DO NOT EMPLOY The Mid-west School
SOLICITORS) HASTINGS, NEBRASKA
Stock Yards Saddlery Co.
1. G. BLESSING, Proprietor
Wholesale and Retail
Harness and Saddles
Fly Nets and Lap Dusters
Cheapest on Earth, Quality Considered
Everything Hand Made
Factory, 314 North 25 St. S. Omaha, Neb.
Paste These
Facts In
Your Hat!
WE employ only careful and ex
pert auto mechanics.
We attend to all Ore and
engine trouble promptly.
We guarantee our prices for auto
repairing cheaper than anywhere
else for quality of service rendered.
We are entirely trustworthy. Ut
most care given to ell cars.
We carry a big line of accesaorlae
at lew prices.
'This is the biggest and most reliable garage-
in this part of the state. Best service at
lowest cost We save you worry.
REO GARAGE
J. L. Nicolai, Prop.
116 Box Butte Ave, Livery Car
NOTICE
Aa X have been appointed to take
charge of the Box Butte county ex-1
hlblt at the state fair this year. II
wish each farmer and ranchman
would contribute liberally ot earn-1
pies of both sheaf and threshed
grains. Help make Box Butte coun
ty's exhibit a grand success this
year. C. O. ROSENBERGER.
35-4t-389
REACHING THE SPOT
It Has Been Done, 80 Scores of Al
liance Citizens Say
To get rid of an aching back.
The sharp twinges.
The tired-out feelings,
Tou must reach the spot get at I
the cause.
In many cases 'tis the kidneys.
Doan's Kidney Pills' are for weak
kidneys.
Alliance citizens testify.
Mrs. L. A. Benedict. Sweetwater I
Ave., Alliance, Nebr.. says: "For sev
eral years I have used Doan's Kid
ney Pills and consider them a fine
kidney remedy. During the winter
months my kidneys became disorder
ed but I always used Doan's Kidney
Pills and they drive away the trou-1
ble. Doan s Kidney Pills have been
taken by others of my family and
have brought great benefit. I highly
recommend this remedy to other kid
ney sufferers."
Price 50c, at all dealers. Dontl
simply ask for a kidney remedy I
get Doan's Kidney Pills the same
that Mrs. Benedict had. Foster-Mil-1
burn Co., Props., Buffalo, N. Y.
On cf the Tclsphono
in 0.0. and Europ
When, telephone rates are low and service
rood, the nse of the telephone is liberal; if
rates are high and sendee poor, the nse of the
telephone is restricted.
Because telephone service in the U. S. is the
best and the rates the lowest in the world,
Americans use the telephone more than twioe as
much as the people of any other nation.
Here are some interesting official figures:
Country Operated bs At' t'- CaI1, Per Per Cent
Person per Year, of U. 8.
United stte Private 161.99 100.0
Sweden Priv. and Gov. 77.47 47J
Norway priv. and Got. TO.Oe 43 3
Germany Government S4.89 flS
Great Britain Government xSSl 14 7
Belgium Government 18.18 111
trla Government 11.65 Vi
tunicary Government 9.(9
iYance Government tM sis
NEBRASKA TELEPHONE COMPANY
Get yosr Peacock coal from the
Forest Lcmber Company.