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The Pioneer Grip
GRIP PUQLISHlNQ"CO.
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ALLIANCE,'
NEBRASKA.
' t i ... i
Tho Japanoso army Is Kalplng stead
lly on its way, as tho irishman would
remark.
The man who says we do not know
what to do with our money must bo a
vegetarian.
Jan Isn't tho only one who, Blnco
the arrival of Uioro twins, is making
music in tho Kubellk home.
It Is stated on reliable authority
that the horso which broke into a
Cincinnati flat hod no family.
Other thiftgs being equal, tho hap
piest man In hot weather Is tho oce
who doesn't know how hot it is.
That was a sad death of Jim Cor
bett's. He died of indigestion. Jim
was a 280-pound Now York turtlo.
Possibly Mr. Perdlcaris is at last
convinced of the superior advantages
of America as a place of residence.
Tho Columbian university of Wash
ington has changed its name to
Georgo Washington university. Good
swap!
Pne of the Republican orators says
that the problom now Is what to do
with, our money. Speak for yourself,
brother.
Mark Twain has leased a farm In
Pittsfleld for tho summer, but ho Is
altogether too level-headed to under
take to work it.
A Bellefontalno woman has con
tracted a serious case of blood-poisoning
by washing her face. We hesitate
to point tho moral.
Hetty Green's scornful declaration
that she would rather have a donkey
than an automobile is not surprising.
Donkeys are cheaper.
Paterson, N. J., has just had a dis
astrous fire. Paterson goes regularly
from floods to fires and anarchists,
with short waits between.
Kisses, transmitted by telepathy
will never bo very popular so long as
there are opportunities of getting
them delivered on the premises.
Baseball has been Introduced in Ja
pan. The Jnps being mere Imitators,
it may be taken for granted thnt there
Is trouble ahead for their umpires.
The reason a man marries his sweet
heart is because she is not like other
girls. Tho reason ho divorces her is
because sho is. Illinois State Journal.
A German peasant hns a pair of feet
that require No. 17 shoes. It is scarce
ly necessary, perhaps, to add that tho
peasant to whom these feet pertain is
.a man.
Let us give our forefathers credit
for never suspecting that tho timo
would come when tho toy pistol would
figure In celebrations of Freedom's
birthday.
The woman who left a package f
parls green in tho baby's go-cart has
proved her eligibility to membership
in tho Amalgamated Association of
Boat-Rockers.
It Is said that a cup of ordinary rock
salt added to the bath Is soothing to
tho nerves and will often insure rest
ful sleep particularly If one has an
nctivo Imagination.
You, can teach a monkey to imitate
a man, but a man can imitate a
monkey without any teaching. This
showB tho superiority of tho human
intellect over bruto brain
Tho possibility that ho might havo
made even more money if ho had
freshened up his faculties by taking a
vacation Is tho lurking misgiving that
bothers Uncle Russell Sage.
President Schurmnn emphatically
urges this year's Cornell graduates to
marry, and doubtless they will, if they
meet the right girls and feel that
they aro able to support them.
Newport society has dropped the
monkey dinners and is going in for
psychological research. An edified
public will now see Mr. Harry Lehr
evoluto Into a psychic phenomenon.
Haytl has apologized for the attack
on M. Depres, the French minister,
who was stoned as ho drove past tho
palace, and the incident is closed. So
was the carriage, fortunately for M.
Depres.
Tho estimate of 14,000,000 as tho
number c.f men who have lost their
lives In battle during the last hundred
years does not take Into account the
lives lost In the annual battlo of the
Fourth of July.
That must Indeed bo a great spec
tacle that Is taking place now !n
southern Manchuria, and yet it is hard
ly probable that the southern Man
churlans who havo the best opportu
nity to witness it aro thoroughly en
Joying It.
Hero's another Jilted awaln suing a
flcklo young woman for breach of
promise. We need this sort of thing
more frequently. The current news Is
getting quite too solemn and tragic.
Politics and crime wax monotonous.
More merriment!
HOW, HIGHBALL WON THE DERBY.
Glorious Race Furnished Inspiration for Poet's
. t Song o the Strenuous Steeds., .
Tho West against tho EaM contending,
Has snt her champion to the my,
On blithe High Hall our eyes are bend
ing The sluggard holds the rhtht of way.
Where's Irish Lad, tho New York won
der. Whose deeds have pet tho turf on nre?
His hoof heats rlag Ilka rumbling thun-dor-Ills
Titan heart will ntfver tiro!
Which horse will win tho Derby laurel?
Will Woodson snatch tho Croesus prize?
Will Hlghlmll conquer In the quarrel,
- Or English Lad the world surprise?
Rapid ntor, too, may lnom as master
ing brother to the boisterous breeze,
"How the frenzied crowd Is shout
ing, as English Lad bends to the
chase!"
Blithe Highball's stride seems surely
faster
Than surging foam from wind swept
seas.
Tls Derby Day, our glorious sonson,
When summer swoons upon the land,
To back the- bangtails Is no treason,
To pick tho winner from tho stand.
Each Jockey grimly eyes his neighbor,
And trails him at his saddle belt,
And urges on the steeds that labor
With the flro and fury of tho Colt!
Over fifty thousand hero nssemblo
To seo tho maddening, bruising chase;
Shy, piquant maids will pout and tremble,
"Bravo Highball will win tho race."
Blithe Highball looms so spruce and
slender.
Moharlb stout may snatch tho prize;
Fort Hunter looms n keen contender
Rich laughter gleams In Beauty's eyes.
What ringing cheers salute the Master,
Blithe whirlwind of the pampered East;
Staunch Highball neighs and spurns dis
aster. And looms a supple, splendid beast.
A crafty Jockey guides his chances
Fuller Impassive In his seat.
The pompous palfrey proudly prances
And caracoles with dainty feet.
Comes English Lad, the West's Defender,
The stubborn sluggard takes his ease.
Requital's son looms spruce and slen
der Big brother to tho boisterous breeze.
Old Time, they fay, Is fast and Ueetlng;
Time Limps a laggard In his train!
What fierce delight when stceds'are mint
ing And grappling on the wind swept plain!
They're at tho post all grouped together;
They're Jockeying for the friendly rail;
With hearts as buoyant as a feather,
Like chevaliers of Grecian tale.
They hearken to the bugle blowlpg;
Its aerial challenge through tho air,
Keen silvery stnnzus thinly (lowing
Like haunting strains fiom Siren's lair.
"They're off they're off," the railblrds
crying
"All ranged together In a line!"
Supreme delight to seo them Hying
Ar stately squadron o'er the brine
Each gallant thoroughbred Is straining
With foam lleckcd mouth nnd tossing
crest;
And dauntless Highball's grimly gaining
POOR LUCK WITH ALLIGATORS.
Visitor Failed to See What Captured
the Negro.
When I got down into Mississippi
I began to look for alligators, think
ing to find them basking in the sun
on the banks of every creek and
bayou, but three weeks passed and I
had not yet got sight of one. Then I
accepted an Invitation to stay with
Major Burbanks for two or threo days.
Ho had a big bayou on the west of his
plantation, but would not guarantee
nn 'alligator. On tho second ovenlng
I walked down to tho water to look In
vain, but at the same time I was
somewhat Interested In a negro who
sat on the log fishing. Ho told me
ho had never seen a 'gator In tho
bayou, and that ho was expecting to
catch a catfish at any moment, and I
had turned away whey there was a
yell and a splash. I whirled about,
but all I could seo was the muddy
water churned into foam and the
waves lashing the bank. At that mo
ment the major Joined me and I said:
"Major, there was a negro fishing
from that log a moment ago."
"Yes?"
"And something h,as taken him."
"Yes?"
"But buf It must have been an
alligator?"
"And you never caught sight of
him?"
"No."
"Shoo! You do seem to bo out of
luck with tho 'gators, for shore. Let's
go back to tho veranda to smoke.
BEGGARS AMUSING CHARACTERS.
Strange Requests Made by Impecuni
ous Mendicants.
Miss Mary Richmond of Philadel
phia is ono of the noted charity work
ers of America.
As the executive head of tho Phila
delphia Society for Organizing Char
ity, Miss Richmond has made a thor
ough study of all sorts of boggars,
and some of the beggars she has mot
must have boon amusing characters.
There was one, for Instance, a New
England beggar, who used to tramp
about In the twilight, saying to every
housewife who answered to his knock:
"Will you give me a drink of water,
lady? for I'm so hungry I don't know
where I'm going to sleep to-night."
sSs&Sffifi
A
And Woodson nobly stands the test!
How rich the
muesuro.
sweep, how grand tho
That rises llko grey ocean's nwoll,
They spurn the turr with lordly pleas
ure. Exulting JIko dear chiming hell. '
They rls and fall like billows swelling,
And surge and shoulder In the tight,
Full ntty thousand men aro yolllng
And oheerlng nt tho glorious sight!
How the frenIed crowd Is shouting.
As English Lad bends to tho chaso;
Lithe Illy lasses Hushed and pouting
Show lustrums cjts, shy rosekiif face
Blithe Highball gnllop surely faster,
Than whimpering wind or rippling rain,
Rapid Water seems to spurn disaster.
Stout Woodton nobly stands the Btraln.
Far back English Lad Is hiding.
The stubborn sluggard bides his time;
HI? Jockey nurses, calmly guiding,
His hoof beats ring llko silvery rhyme.
Relentless as lltho leopard leaping,
Highball comes bounding thro' Ihe
throng,
Resistless as llorce cyclone sweeping,
He glides as splendid as a fcong.
"Come cm you hound," the tlpstora yell
ing, "Woke up and do your song and
dance!
The railblrds with alarm are Bwelllng-
"ou brute, move up and tnko a chance.
But English Lad still keep hi distance,
Blithe Highball holds the right of way,
ire seems to spurn the turf resistance.
And Woodson trails him In tho fray.
They're In tho stretch and mndly strain
ing, Tho panting steeds set Ball for homo;
And gallant Highball's grimly gaining.
All dappled grey with Hocking foam.
The Jocke.is nurse the steeds that labor,
And trail them nt their saddle bolt.
And grimly eye their strenuous nolghbor
With tho Hro nnd fury of tho Colli
The pace was swift, tho strugglo bruis
ing, As they thunder down tho sloping way,
With foam flecked mouth like hounds u
crulslng Staunch Highball leads tho strenuous
fray.
Their hoof boats drown tho rumbling
thunder.
Relentless nR fierce Cyclops might.
Thero Is no time to break or blunder
Since Death's In ambush for n light.
Who won tho race, who snatched the
plunder?
"Twas Highball filched the Croesus
pilze.
His hoof beats ring like rumbling thun
der. The Eastorn champions roused the
world's surnrise.
Vain, English Lad, your desperate strain
ing For dauntless Highball's vanquished Time
"Vain, English Lad, your desperate
straining, for dauntless Highball's van
quished Time."
And Woodson nt his heels was gaining
Their names will live In rippling rhyme.
James E. Klnsolla.
Registry Division. Chicago I'ostolllce.
FRESH AIR THE BEST TONIC.
Physician Declares Women, Need
More Exercise.
"It Is safe to say," declared a phy
sician, "that one-half of the women
are simply starving for fresh air, and
if they would throw away their pill
bottles and headache powders and ex
ercise freely In tho open air for at
least two hours dally they would feel
like new women nt tho end of a year.
Nature cannot bo cheated, nor can
impaired forces ho restored by swal
lowing medicine every time warning
pain and Illness overtakes tho offend
er. .A busy woman may be compelled
to neglect some duty or pleasure for a
time In order to obtain the outdoor
exercise, but under the circumstances
it will be excusable, and In the long
run she will make up for It because
of Increased bodily vigor."
PESSIMISM HAS LONG EXISTED.
People Were Prone to Comp'toin Ages
Ago.
Dr. Richard T. Gotthell, of Co
lumbia University, nas a broad
knowledge of Oriental tales and prov
erbs. Dr. Gottheil was condemning pessi
mism one day at Columbia.
"Pessimism," ho said, "is as old as
the hills. Mankind has always rec
ognized It, and has always derided it.
"Thero is a Persian story about a
pessimist. This story is so old that
no date can bo assigned to It. It con
cerns a pessimistic farmer.
"'Good friend,' a viitor said to tho
farmer, 'you are fortunate this year.'
He pointed to tho heavy and rich
grain fields spreading as far as the
eye could see. 'Ycu can't grumble,'
he went on, 'about your crop this sea
Hon, eh?'
" 'No,' whined tho pessimist, 'hut a
crop llko this is terribly wearing on
tho soil, "
Reason for Long Workday.
A recent attempt to reduco tho dally
hours of female factory workeis at
Frelborg, Germany, was opposed, on
the grounds thnt competition with
Italy, Japan and China would not per
mit It, and that. If factory life were
made too attractive, domestic help
would be still more difficult to ob'tain
than It is now.
S Mi o mm
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SMASHUP ON WABASH ROAD
ASCRIBED TO TRAINS WRECKERS
i
Who la responslblo for tho awful
railroad wreck at Lllqhllold, 111., July
3, which claimed twenty-two lives and
maimed thirty-four pnsaongorH? Of
ficials of Litchfield ar Inclined to tho
belief that the train and Its passon
gars were tho victims of a plot hatch
oil by miscreants. Threo hours boforo
tho wreck occurred n Wabash train,
running at n speed of sixty miles nn
hour, passed over tho snmo track with
out meeting a mishap.
Between that hour nnd tho tlmo tho
Limited crashed Into tho switch Tickol
Agent Condonu declared that no cars
were run onto tho sidetrack. For that
reason ho says that no ono connected
with tho rond turned tho switch and
neglected to throw It back. Tho lock
that held It vns found near by.
Irvln L. Rico of CO 18 Calumet nvo
nue, Chicago, ono of tho eye witnesses
of tho fatal train wreck, said his os-
Airow polntc to the open owltch
speed, on a sidetrack, on which stood
crowded train plunged, throwing the
positions, and cmashlng the forward o
capo from death was miraculously
3trango. Following is his thrilling
story of tho wreck:
"Tho train, which was composed of
nine conches, left Chicago Sunday
morning at 11:03. 1 was In tho first
car, which Was a combination coach,
bound for tho World's Fair. The
train was whirling along at tho rate
of about sixty miles an hour at 5:40
o'clock when the crash camo. Tho
engine Btruck the switch and com
pletely turned around. Tho coal ten
der flow right over it and alighted at
fftMM&flanBOtiatfiBitfi
' COMPARATIVELY
Tho list of saved In tho Norgo
steamship disaster hns been Increased
by seventeen. Seventeen survivors
wero landed at Aberden, Scotland, by
tho steam trawler Largo Bay. Thoy
wero picked up from ono of tho boats
of the Norgo. Tho total number of
survivors so far as known now Is 145.
This reduces tho probable number of
lives lost to C27.
Tho Danish government and tho
steamship company have sent out a
Hteamship to search the seas for tho
boats and tho vessel will visit all the
Map Showing Location of Rockall, I
Butt of Lewis, off Which
Islands within a possible radius, but
tho rescued at Grimsby and Storpo
way, who havo gone through a terrible
experience believe that thero Is little
ground for hope unless an outgoing
vessel should have picked up one or
more of tho boats, or unless tho sur
vivors havo landed at St. Kllda and
Flannnn islands.
While the stories of the survivors
naturally differ in some details, in tho
main they agreo that in the supreme
Long Trip In Automobile
Mr. and Mrs. Charles J. GUddon of
Boston, who are touring tho world in
an automobile, havo roturned from Ku
rope. During tho past two year they
havo beou through all of tho European
countries, covering in thoir twenty-four-horso-power
machlno ovor 10,200
miles. On August 1G, 1903, while in
Norway, they raado tho first trip evor
roado In an automobile Into the arctic
zone. Mr. Glldden oxpects to covor a
distance of about 40,000 miles, tho
tour to be finished in 1907.
least ono hundred feet away.
"Every pnssongor ln; my car was
thrown hcnd-long In every direction.
1 wob thrown against tho sido of the
car with such lolonco that tho knoos
or my trousers were bndly torn. My
back And ono of my Idgs were Injured.
After tho confusion had partly sub
sided 1 wna" greatly surprised to find
thnt tho car had been split right In
two parts. I crawlod out of tho open
ing, followed by othors. Harry Diet
rich, tho labor loader, had boon sitting
In tho rear of tho same coach. Ho
was killed whon tho next coach behind
crashed into ours.
"Thnt was tho first coach that
caught fire. Elated over my miracu
lous escape from a horrible doatb, I as
sisted lu tho work of rescue. I ran
into ono of tho burning coaches In
which a woman was screaming loudly
for help. Her legs wore pinned down
I I
which threw the train, going at high
a line of freight care. Into these the
cars and engine Into all conceivable
ncs to splinters.
i
between tho seats and tho flames wore
spreading toward her.
'"Cut my legs off' sho cried.
"A man ran forward, pulled a knife
from his pocket and attempted to
sever tho limbs. 'Go abend; cut them
off,' said tho woman. It was his plan
to cut tho flesh to tho bono nnd then
break tho limbs.
"As each moment passed tho flro
grow closer and closer to us. Finally
tho heat became so lntcnso that wo
had to abandon tho poor woman. Sho
burned to death before our eyes.
FEW SURVIVORS j
OF STEAMSHIP DISASTER I
tfiHmaaOMwwK
moment thero were exhibitions of
marvelous heroism, and additional
stories of their experiences only ndd
In this pnrtlcular to what has already
her: totd In tho dispatches.
Tho contingent now being caro for
at Aberdeen consists of twelve passen
gers, tho third mnto of tho Norge, tho
quartermaster, a steward, a lamp
trimmer and ono of tho crow.
They drifted at tho mercy of tho
Atlantic for six days. When both
water nnd food wero gone and when
tho occupants wero nlmost too ex-
slet Where the Nome Was Lot. and
Steamer Was Last Sighted.
haustcd even to hopo, the trawler
hove in .eight. This was on July 4,
when tho boat was about thirty miles
off St. Kllda.
Those rescued had eked out an ex
istence on two biscuits a day. When
they started from the ill-fated ship
thero was only one small cask of
fresh water In tho boat. Before the
Largo Bay fell In with them this and
the biscuits had been finished nnd the
pangs of hunger had set In.
Lord Mllner Breaking Down.
A lettor recolved from Johannes
burg glvoa a painful picture of Ixird
MUuor. It declares that slnco his re
turn from England he has aged con
siderably. Tho stross of the last few
months has. In fact, told upon him
more than did all the anxlotios of the
war time. His shoulders aro bent, his
hair sllvorod and his gonoral appear
anco careworn. He has boon bosought
by Ids friends to rolax the strain
whlali he porslstently places upon
hlmsolf, but this he refuses to do.
AS THE WORLD
REVOLVES-
CLAIMS TO BE (THE ME88IAH1W ,
' 4' k r 4 'ff 1
LondoVi Minister the Founder'cTa
New Sect.
A dispatch from London, England,
tells of a pretondod Messiah who has
n largo number of followers. T4iq
Rev. John Smyth-Plggott, who claims
to bo tho Messiah, recently In tho
chapel of tho Abode of Lovo nt Spax
ton, a plcturcsquo vlllago In Somerset
shire, conducted a special service,
which Is tho subject of several lengthy
reports In London papers, ono of
which heads its article with tho slnglo
word, "BInsphemy." According to all
accounts, it was n remarkable service.
None but tho. faithful wero present,
tho gront oak gates of tho rotreat be
ing closely guarded. It was a calen
dar day of tho sect, chlof disciples be
ing summoned from far and wide.
Norway wns, porhnps, most largely
represented, but th6 worshlpere In
cluded at least ono Russian counted
and many handsomo young English
women. By long dlBuao tho "Messiah's"
throno had become tawdry and faded,
but a little upholstering and work by
tho ministering damselB had mado it
luxurious and stately. Tho servicp
-ii VTVK-JL 1
"The Abode of Love."
was timed for midday, nnd a cosmo
politan congregation of worshipers
had gathered In tho temple, when sud
denly thero was a hush and tho self
'styled "lamb of God" approached.
Tho "Messiah" slowly and silently
wnlked to his renoyated throne, his
disciples rising as ho crossed the por
tals and bowing their hoads reverently.
"Behold tho Iamb of God," uttered
slowly, deliberately nnd unaffectedly,
wns tho astounding exclamation which
suddenly broke tho spoil of silence.
Tho words had scarcely passed tho
lips of the "Messiah" before all tho
disciples mado obclsanco, tho women
bowing low and muttering exclama
tions of lovo and dovotton. Tho cen
tral figure was a good looking man,
plainly dressed In clerical garb. Thero
were two hymns, and tho "Messiah"
hlmclf preached a Bhort sermon,
selecting as his text tho words VLovo
Ono Another."
Next followed psalms, sung In a sub
dued key by a splendidly trained cho)r.
The servlco lasted Httlo moro than
hnlf an hour, and then tho "Messiah"
and the congregation went to partako
of luncheon.
FIGHTS STANDARD OIL TRUST.
George Rice Is Perennial Opponent of
Great Monopoly.
Georgo Rice of Marietta, O., tho
former oil dealer who for years has
been ono of tho most persistent an
tagonists of the Standard Oil com
pany, has asked tho courts of Now
Jersey to dissolve the company on
the ground that It Is Illegal, -appoint
a receiver, and distribute the asseta
among the stockholders. Rice, who
wns squeezed out of business by tho
Standard Oil company, was ono of tho
principal witnesses la Attorney Gen
eral Monnett's suit In Ohio.
Farmer's Boy Wins Honors.
Warren Ellis Schutt of Cornell, 1905,
who has won a Rhodes scholarship
and will bo off for Oxford university
presently. Is a farmer's boy, captain
elect or tho Cornell track team and
tho best cross-country runner of bis
tlmo In the American college world.
About Wocden Shoes.
Wooden shoos, It is computed, aro
worn by 70,000.000 people in Europe.
For tho stylo of wooden shoos called
sabots basswood is mostly used, but
willow is proforred. Poplar, birch, wal
nut and beech are also used.
To Get Pointers From America.
Dr. Baernrelther, former minister of
commorqo, una Count Mervelft, for
ruor governor of the provinces of tho
Tyrol and Silesia, will study the edu
cational institutions of this country.
v. jlJ&:
IbP Si
' " if-i 4wwiHi'W 'ft-