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About The Alliance herald. (Alliance, Box Butte County, Neb.) 1902-1922 | View Entire Issue (May 18, 1905)
6 4 te n i ,1 m i S LIEUTENANT BOWMAN. IN lIKil HIS Ml CURED 1. Cold Affected Hoad and Throat Attack Was Severe. Chas. W. Bowman, 1st Lieut, and Adjt. 4th M. S. M. Cav. Vols., writes from Lanham, Md., as follows : "Though somewhat averse to patent medicines, and still more a verso to bo coming a professional affidavit man, it seems only a plain duty in tho present instance, to add my experience to tho columns already written concerning the curativo powers of Pcruna. "I havo been particularly benefited by Its use for colds In tlio head and throat. I have been able to fully euro myself of a most severe attack In forty-eight hours by Its uso according to directions. I use It as a preventive whenever threatened with an attack. 'Members of my family also uso it for like ailments. Wo are recommend ing it to our friends." C. W. liowman. Pc-ru-na Contains No Narcotics. Ono reason why Pcruna has found permanent use in so many homes is that it contains no narcotic of any kind. It can bo used any length of tirno without acquiring a drug habit. Address Dr. Ilartman, President of The Ilartman Sanitarium, Columbus, Ohio, for frco medical advice. All cor respondence held strictly confidential. PLEASANT' THE NEXT MORNING I FEEL BRIGHT AND NEW AND MY COMPLEXION IS BETTER. .f'i.?fetor !-,' "' rentl- on tba Btomach. llrer and kidnera andiaaplauant laiatlte. TUa drink U made from hfrha and la prepaml for ui ai eaallr aa tea. IttacalUd "j.nuc'H Tea" or LANE'S FAMILY MEDICINE HAVE YOU COWS? If you havo cream to separate n good Cream Separator is tho most profitable in vestment you can possibly make. Delay means daily wasto of time, labor ana product. DE LAVAL CREAM SEPARATORS save $10.- per cow per year every year of uso over all gravity sotting systems and $3.- per cow over oil imitating separators. They received tho Grand Prize or Highest Award at Ht. Louis. Buying trashy caah-in-advance sepa rators is penny wise, dollar foolish. Such machines quickly lose their cost instead of saving it. If you haven't tho ready cash DE LAVAL machines may bo bought on such liboral terms that they actually -pay for themselves. Send today for now catalogue and namo of nearest local agent. The De Laval Separator Go. Randolph & Canal Stl ' I 74 Cortlandt Street NEW YORK CHICAGO $100 Weekly Easily Made writing health and accident lnuranco;eiperlence un neceaaary .Write Bankers' Accident Oo..Dei H oinea,Ia, S'eWfThompson's Eya WatM Modern Hunting. In shooting, as in other sports, thor ough luxurlousnoss Is now regarded by modern shooters as a prime neccs sit of enjoyment. They havo their loading dono for them, their birds are driven to them and in greatly increas ed numbers, their luncheon hours nro devoted to tho best in many coursos of food and wino and they get homo by motor as quickly as poseiblo nftor shootng is over. London Country Gentleman. First Trade In the World. Two blacksmiths were onco convers ing as to which was the first trado In tho world. Ono insisted that it must havo boon gardening, and quoted from Genosls: "Adam was put into tho Garden of Edon to dress it and keep It." "Ay, John." retorted tho other, who had stood up for his own trado, "but wha made tho spades?" Produces Most Mica. India 13 tho leading producer of mica and supplies about ono-half the world's requirements. London Engln eer. Sorao fellows seem to think they aro not being well treated .unices tney ara being treated every ton minutes. lip Eta taBS S The My dear house, my brown house, Hot round with llvlnn irrcn, I.Ike a neat nmonp the branches Your loveliness Is seen; Around your fnlry onaementn l'lnk roses climb nml fall Yet in our heaits tho tlrenm-house la best belocd of all! My dear house, my brown house, How Kood, when day Is dono, In your shelter wifo enfolded. To feol that rest Is wons "Within your walls how softly Slumber and sltenco frill Tet In our hearts tho drcam-houss Is Lest beloved of nil! Kllznbeth Roberts Macdonald In Now Orleans Tlmes-PemocraV P323EP2SffSHFS3Sy252S225SiFSS; (Copyright, 1903, by Miss Mary Jones was an old maid. Possibly If sho had lived in an tip-to-Oato town and been up to date her self sho would havo been Miss Mario Jones, a bachelor girl; but as it was sho was simply nn old maid. Pretty she had once been, and perhaps sho was not far from it now but who over stops to think whether an old maid is pretty or not? It was a bright morning. Tho out side world God's world was full of sunshine; tho Insldo world Miss Mary's world was peaceful. Today was her birthday forty years of spring and sunshine, of cloud and shadow; and yet sho did not feel old. She looked out at tho beautiful bright ness, past tho nodding whito flowers In tho garden, past tho dusty road. Again sho seemed a happy girl, wan dering through tho green woods, float ing upon tho bosom of tho lake whose waters wero Just visible from her window. Sho had not been alono then, and evory tender word ho had spoken was dear to her oven now. Tho flow ers they had gathered together had withered, but their fragrance was still In her heart. Presently tho gato clicked aud with a sigh, for only her God knew how lonely her llfo was at times, sho roused from her day-dream and hur ried out to meet a tall, graceful girl that was coming slowly down tho gar den walk. "Why, Helen! When did you get hack?" sho exclaimed Joyfully, taking tho girl's hands In both of hers. "How good to see you again!" The girl smiled down at her. Sho was tall and strong, and everybody loved Helen. "Only this morning," she said, kissing tho soft cheek of tho older woman and drawing her down upon tho rustic bench upon tho vino covered porch. "I havo so much to tell you," sho said as sho loosened tho strings of her hat and let It fall besldo her upon tho floor. "I'll bo glad to hear it, Helen," said Miss Mary, caressing her fondly. "You know'that I am Interested in anything that concerns you." A smllo dimpled tho girl's face. "Well, wo bad an accident," sho said slowly. "Accident what kind of an acci dent?" asked tho little woman. "Railroad," sho answered seriously. "A broken rail dumped us down an em bankment into a sand bod." "Oh! Wa3 anybody hurt?" "Some had scratches and bruises, but wo camo out free, although our coach was turned upsldo down and I was shut In for two hours." "Oh Helen!" "Whom do you think was shut up In tho compartment .with me, Miss Mary?" "Jack." "Jack?- Oh. no," tho soft color With her flowers. mounting to hor cheek, "not Jack, hut a Mr. Max Vaugn." It was Miss Mary's tlmo to chango color now. "Why," sho-said Incoher ently, a pitiful quiver In her voice. Helen wa3 busy stroking Tab's glossy coat, and for a Httlo she did not speak. " Twas like this," sho said at last. "Papa had gono to tho smok er, and I was alono when tho crash came. Our coach was Jammed between some others, and I was frightened. A tall, dark man, tho only ono In the compartment, camo up and spoko to 8 House Dally Story Pub. Co.) me, assuring mo that everything would bo all right in a short tlmo, and pacifying ns well as ho could." "Ho Introduced himself, and tried hard to ho agreeable, aud as I had nothing else to do I talked to him. I could seo It was very distasteful to him, and that ho wbb cynical and mo roso In his disposition, but as tho cir cumstance was ho could do no less than ho did. Well, after a fow at tempts nt conversation, ho Just kept silent and I talked to him and ho listened. I told him about this town, and I told him lots about you, Miss Mary how good and' true you wore. "He Is cynical, skeptical and lots of unnecessary things, Miss Mary." Ho was so gloomy and dull that I was more than glad to hear papa's voice onco more. But you know him, don't you?" "I did once," said Miss Mary, her eyes wistful and shining, "but that was a long, long time ago, Helen." Helen chatted on a Httlo, then sho arose to go. "Is is Mr. Vaugn did you say ho was married, Helen?" asked Miss Mary, summoning all her courage to ask tho question. "Married," Helen's dark eyebrows arched themselves prettily. "No wom an In her senses would marry him. He Is cynical, skeptical and lots of unnecessary things, Miss Mary. Per haps though," with a tenderness In her vofco which Miss Mary felt, "per haps had ho married tho woman of his choice tho ono he loved arid had a home and Httlo children perhaps ho might havo been different. Ho was disappointed In his youth, and It soured him lor all time I heard some ono say." Helen was looking at tho passion flowers then and did not seo the piti ful Httlo qulvor upon Miss Mary's face. When at last sho spoko sho had apparently forgotten Max Vaugn, for she said, "Helen, do you over quarrel with Jack?" "Oh, yes, often or rather ho quar rels with me," said tho girl promptly. Miss Mary picked Tab up in her arms. "How do you mako up that Is como to an understanding, I mean?" she asked rubbing Tab's coat vigorously. "Oh, I always begin," said Helen vaguely, "even If ho Is tho most to blame, and then ho gets sorry and It Is all right again. Somehow tho mak ing up is, is nlco, Miss Mary. I llko it aqd so does ho." Helen kissed hor and then left her alone. Miss Mary walkod slowly tip and and down tho porch, her hands claspod tightly togother and her head bent. "I was to blame some," sho said slowly; "I was sorry and I ought to havo told him so. It has ruined his llfo and spoiled mine." Sho looked out at tho birds flitting about in tho sunshine. "It was not too lato to tell him yet, and ho would under stand," Sho went to hor dosk and took up hor pen. Miss Mary always put Fomothlng of herself In all sho did, so sho wroto tho ono word "forgive" and signed hor namo under it; then sho woht Into tho garden and slipped a wblto carnation In tho envelope. Sho scaled and addressed tho letter, and fearful of a change of mood sho slipped on her garden hat and went and mailed it. Two people watched and waited that wook. Miss Mary watched tho malls and Helen watohed Miss Mary, rA m At last it camo. A letter containing but ono isontcnco meant only for Miss Mary's eyoa. Sho smiled through hor toars as sho wroto hor answor. "Como. Always, your Mary." Church was over. Tho notos of tho organ fell llngorlngly over tho depart ing crowd. Tho glorious sunlight foil through tho window upon n tall, hand some man, and a plump Httlo pink chocked woman In gray with a soft light in hor dark oyos. Helen camo down tho nlsle, hor whlto dross trailing nftor her, and her linntls full of flowers, followed closoly by a stately young man, whoso chief nlm Bcenyid to bo to keep closo to Helen. "Miss Helen," said Max Vaugn, nnd thcro was gladness in his volco, "al low mo to lutroduco my wifo." "I am so glad," Bald Helen, kissing Miss Maty. "I llko to seo pcoplo find their own." Then sho nnd Jack turned away. Thoro was tcarB In Mlsa Mary's oyes, but thoy did not dim tholr brightness. Sho was still Miss Mary, oven If sho was Mrs. Max Vaugn, nnd Miss Mary sho would always bo. "I bellove," sho said looking after Hel en, "that sho told mo of you and you of mo purposely." "Of course," said hor husband, kiss ing her, "and thank God that sho did, my Mary." DOG MET ODD DEATH. Thrust Head Into Drain Pipe After Pigeon and Was Drowned. Thoro was mourning in tho house of englno company No. 12 In Mana yunk last night, says tho Philadelphia North American. Percy, tho colllo dog, tho pet of tho company, Is dead. Percy camo to No. 12's houso four years ago In a big snowstorm. Tho firemen took him In fed hlnij and gavo him a bed. Ho never loft. Tho fireman taught him tricks, nnd ho learned to know as well as tho horses what tho sound of tho gong meant Ho was always on hand nnd raced ahead of tho horses to tho firo. Ycstorday evening Porcy spied a pigeon on tho roof of tho firo house. Ho ran up tho stops and out on tho roof to chase tho Intruder away. Tho pigeon dodged Into tho drain pipe. Percy put his hoad In after It but ho couldn't roach tho pigeon and his col lar bocamo wedged so that ho couldn't withdraw It. If ho barked none of tho men hoard him, and no ono saw him on tho roof. After a whllo it began to rain. Tho firemen below noticed that tho water was falling down over tho ledgo In stead of coming through tho plpo and ono of them went up to Investigate Tho water had run down about Per cy's head In tho plpo and drowned blm. When tho body was pulled away tho pigeon flew out unharmed. A Statesman and His Pipe. Mr. Stuart Cumberland, who has made thought reading experiments with many men of note, tells In Pcar son'B how ho had on ono occasion Mr. Chamberlain as a "subject," says tho Pall Mall Gazette. At tho outset Mr. Cumberland found that, much as Mr. Chamberlain desired not to "his thoughts kept straying to tho mantel shelf. Tho mental grip, tho unwaver ing decisiveness, which had been so strikingly displayed In tho previous experiments, wero lacking. I bogged him to concentrate his thoughts en tirely upon tho test In question. 'It's no good,' ho Bald. 'My thoughts keep going to my pipe. I haven't finished my smoke, and I really cannot concen trate my thoughts without it. Tho plpo was on the mantel shelf. Mr. Chamberlain took it up, placed it in his mouth, and tho experiment was Immediately carried to a successful conclusion." So It Is. A New York attorney who had tired of tho smart brand of ofllco boy finally secured ono who appeared very raw looking, but seemed willing to learn and mind his own business. Ono of tho first of tho tasks glvqn tho new comer was tho copying of a letter, and the employer noticed that tho lad was carefully studying tho first lino of tho epistle. Tho lawyer called tho boy over nnd asked him If ho had dis covered an error anywhere. "No, sir," was tho reply; "hut I don't seo why you uso this word," and tho youth pointed to tho last word In the first line. Tho lino read as fol lows: "Dear Sir: I beg to acknowledge tho receipt of yours of tho 17th ult." "Why, don't you know what ult. means?" said tho attorney. "Yes," answered tho boy, "it's what they say to Eoldiers when they want them to stop." He Cheered Me Oft. "Ills words ,Jnvo cheered mo oft," they paid. As he in pence was lying. With folded hands, upon his bed, Hoyotul tho strewn of dying. He had no art to Rather gold, Ho loved too well his brother. Ilut, "Much I loved him 1" thus they told Their thought to ono another. My Father, though this life of mine Lend through tho valley lowly; Though half unwrll's the thought dlvtno That Thou hnst whispered wholly. Yet whon I die. and vlslona soft Through my long sleep aro pressing, Lot fond hearts say, "He cheered mo oft." I nult no other bleeelng. Alfred J. Waterhouse In Success Maga zine. New Cotton Plants. At tho exposition at Melbourne, Australia, two now varieties of cotton plants woro exhibited. Tho first va riety, known as Caravonlca I. pro duces a Hnen-llko cotton, tho estimated value of which Is said to bo 20 conts a pound. Tho other variety is known as Caravonlca II. and producos a silky cotton of coramorolal value of 24 certs a nound TRAIN 8TRIKE0 DYNAMITE Western Express on Pennsylvania Runs Into Two Cars of Explosive. HAltniSUUIlG, Pa. An oxpreas train on tho Pttnneylvanln railroad rnn Into n freight train In which thoro woro two cars loaded with dynamlto, at 1:10 o'clock Thursday morning In South Harrlsburg, noar tho plant of tho Paxtang Light, Hont and Powor company. Threo terrific explosions that broko wludows nil ovor tho city followed nnd tho two trains woro completely wrock oil and took fire. It was estimated at 3 o'clock that fifty porsons woro kill ed and 100 injured, though Uieso flguros may bo too small. It Is Impossible to nscortaln tho ex act number of fntalltlcs bocnuso tho wrookago Is still ablaze and unap pronchablo, In which many of tho pas songors and eomo members of tho. train crows aro pinned, nnd many small explosions occurred continually. Immediately nftor tho wreck all tho passengers who could do so ran from tho scones of horror to safoty from tho Incessant small explosions. Tho agonizing crlon of tho unfortunntoa wero honrtrondlng. With practically no clothing many women nnd children from tho trala woro compelled to wandor about tho fields, as thoro aro fow houses In tho Immediate vicinity of tho wreck. Tho train wns tho second section of No. 19. Thoro woro 109 passengers In tho trnln and tho latest estimate is that fifty woro killed, Tho hospital Is crowded to tho doors and tho hotels nro being opened for tho enro of tho Injured. It may bo nccossary for tho authorities to boIzo ono of tho hotels and turn It Into a tomporary hospital. LATER Twenty persons aro known to bo dond nnd moro than 100 others woro Injured In tho railroad wreck nnd dynamlto explosion which occurred yesterday on tho Pennsyl vania railroad In tho southern part of this city. That not moro porsons woro killed Is considered romarkablo by tho Pennsylvania ofilclnls, as n box car full of dynamlto exploded dt roctly at tho mlddlo of tho heavy ox press train. Tho train carried a number of prominent persons nnd most of them oscapod with only slight injuries. Tho wrecked trnln was tho second section of tho Clovolnnd and Cincinnati ex press, loavlng Philadelphia at 11:05 Wcdnosday night. It consisted of a combination baggago nnd smoking car, ono day coach and bIx sleepers. Tho scono of tho wrock wns visited by probably moro than fiO.OOO porsons. Thero woro at loast C.000 porsons con stantly at tho place. Thoy camo from nil towns within fifty miles. HARRISnURG, Pa. Two moro vic tims of tho wreck of tho Cleveland and Cincinnati express on tho Penn sylvania railroad at South Harrlsburg Friday, aro dead, bringing tho total number of victims to twenty-two. Two others aro in a crltlcnl condition. Slxteon of tho dead have been Identi fied. Tho bodies of tho others nro so horribly charred and burned that It Is doubtful If they will over bo positive ly Identified. AMERICANS LOSE SEVENTEEN. Fierce Fighting Reported on the Is land of Jolo. MANILA Florco fighting hns been going on tho past two weeks on tho Island of Jolo between tho outlaw Moro chief, Pala. with COO well-armed followers, and troops under tho per sonal command of Major General Leonard Wood. Pala's forces lost 400 killed, whllo tho losses of General Wood aro seven killed and nineteen wounded. Pala and his remaining followers, in accordanco with Moro tradition, prefer donth to capture. General Wood, with detachments from tho Fourteenth cavalry, tho Sev enteenth, tho Twenty-second, tho Twenty-third infantrlos and tho con stabulary scouts, havo chased Pala and his followers Into a swamp, which Is surrounded. Pnla was a noted slave trader and warrior when tho Americans occupied tho Island. Lat er ho escaped with his followers to tho Jsland of Pula Sckar. near Bor noo. Ono of Pula's leaders deserted and took refugo in tho British settle ment at Lahad. Pala landed with a following and demanded of tho Brit ish magistrate that ho turn tho de serter over to him. NEW YORK WANTS FARMER8 State Agricultural Department Will Endeavor to Get Them. ALBANY N. Y, With tho vlow of attracting to this stnto deslrnblp im migrant farmers and farm laborers, tho State Department of Agriculture is proparlng to collect and disseminata Information of tho farm and dairy ad vantages which Now York stato off ors. Ono of the several handicaps with which the farmers of this stato havo to contend Is tho scarcity of farm la borers, For many years tho Stato Agricul tural department has obsorvod that foreign farm hands and small farmers soldom settle in tho oast, but travel straight through to tho wost. Speck Can't Go to Boat Race. WASHINGTON Important engage ments will prevent Baron Speck von Sternborg, tho German ambassador, from going to Now York noxt Tues day to witness tho start of tho At lantic raco for tho omoeror's cup. Ho will bo represented by his counsellor nnd first secretary, Baron von Dora Blscho-Haddonhusen, who loft Wash ington Sunday night, accompanied by Second Secrotarr Robert Scheller Stoinwartz and Otto van Etzol, tho military attache. Commander Hans Georc.Hebbcrihas is now In Now York. Somebody 8ay That Whon a woman nska a number of. questions sho Is possessed of ldla curiosity. Whon n man asks a num ber ho Id nnitnatod by n keen deslro to improve his mind nnd enlarge his sphoro of knowledge. That la Just another ono of tho Httlo differences between tho soxoa which ought to show n woman tho utter Imposslhllty of ovor hoping to nttaln equality with man. All tho Letters In a Sentence. AH tho lottors of tho alphabet nro contnlncd In tho Bontenco: "John P. Grady gavo mo n black wnlnut box of qulto a small slzo." Tomporanco type writers will, of course, profor It to tho old standby: "Pack my box with flvo dozen liquor jugs," If neither milts thoy can try: "Tho quick, brown dog jumps ovor tho lnzy fox." Elephant Turned tho Tables. Sir Frederick Saunders nnd a frlond woro out elephant shooting 1 Ceylon, whon tho frlond, bolng surprised by his quarry, dropped his rifle nnd mado for a troo. Tho elephant, being wound ed, seized tho nbandoned weapon In n transport of rago. Tho rlllo wont off nnd shot Its owner In tho ankle. Wero Good for Doth. Paulding, Miss., Mny lGth. (Spe cial) In this neighborhood men and womon allko nro telling of tho groat benefit they havo received from tho ueo of Dodd'B Kidney Pills and it fre quently hnppons thoy nro tho moans of curing members of both sexes In tho samo family. Tako tho caso of Mr. and Mrs. F, Erhy. Tho latter volcos tho Bontlmout of both when sho says: "My lips cannot oxpross too much pratso for Dodd'B KIdnoy Pills. I suf fered with Backacho and Fomalo weakness for four or fivo years and I feel thnt I havo been wondorfully helped by Dodd'B KIdnoy Pills. My husbnnd, too, was a sufforor for flvo years from a weak bladder and thoy also cured him." Dodd's KIdnoy Pills mako healthy kldnoys. Healthy kldnoys mean puro blood and good health all over tho body. No woman with healthy kld noys ovor had fomalo woaknoss. Plea for Light In Houses. Anothor mlstnko Is to havo too Ht tlo light. Why darknoss nnd gloom should bo sought la any portion of a houso whero pcoplo must live, has al ways been to bo an unsolved prob lorn. Mysterious cornors nro In ordor In a cobwobbod nttlc or an under ground collar, but thoy aro Borlously out of placo In a pleasant room Into which visitors nro ushered, nnd which is supposed to bo a rallying spot for tho family. Exchange. ITCHINQ'SCALP HUMOR. Lady Suffered Tortures Until Cured by Cutlcura Scratched Day and Night. "My scalp was covered with Httlo pimples and I Buffered tortures from tho Itching. I was scratching all day and night, and I could got no rest. I washed my head with hot water and Cutlcura Soap and then applied tho Cutlcura Ointment as a dressing. Ono box of tho Olntmont and ono cako of Cutlcura Soap cured mo. Now my hoad Is entirely cloar and my hair Is growing splendidly. I havo used Cu tlcura Soap over since, and shall nov or bo without it (Signed) Ada C Smith, 309 Grand St, Jorsoy City.. N. J." Many Towns Named Washington. Almost ovcry stato has a Washing ton. Washington, Ky., Is ono of tho oldest towns In tho stato and almost contemporaneous with Washington, D. O. Its old court houso was erected In 1704. Private Car Lines. Tho roilroadB seem very willing to havo tho private car linos brought undor tho jurisdiction of tho Inter stnto Commerco Commission. A rail road president is authority for tho statement that lines aro paid mileage, without discrimination, and tho ques tion of oxcesslvo charges Is a matter for tho shipper to sottlo with tho car linos, so long as thoro is no law to govern their rates. Car mllcago pay ing has been decided to bo as legal as tho payment of rental for property. If a man has no dust his namo la usually mud. Deafness Cannot Be Cured bj local appUcattoni, aa tber cannot reach the flla eaacd portion ot the ear. There la only one war to cure deafneaa, and that la br cunatltutlonal remeJlea. Deafneu la earned by an Inflamed condition ot ths mucoua lining of tba Iiuitaculan Tube. When tola tube la Inflamed you have a rumbling aound or Im perfect bearlnit.and when It la entirely cloied, Deaf. ueaali tno remit, and unleaa the Inflammation can be taken out and tbla tube reatored to lu normal condi tion, hearins will be deatrored foreran nine caaea out of ten are cauaed by ( atarrh, which la nothing out an Inflamed condition of the mucoua anrf acea. We will give One Hundred Dullam for any cao of Deafneaa (cauaed by catarrh) that cannot be cured by llall't Catarrh Cure, brnd fur circulars, free. K, J. CHKNKY & CO., Toledo, O. Sold br DrujrsUU, 7Sc Take Haifa Family l'llla fur conitlpatloo. A woman's cleverness soldom ex tends to her heart. Many Children Are Sickly. Mother Gray's Sweet Powders for Children, used by Mother Gray, a nurse in Children's Home.New York, Cure Fever ishness, Head ache, Stomach Troubles, Teething Dis orders.Break up Colds and Destroy Worms. AtallDruggistss,25c Sample mailed FREE Address Allen S. Olmsted, Lo Roy, N. Y. Friendship's funeral-baked meats are cold shoulders. riso's Curo cannot be too hli'hly spoken of u a cousn cure. J, Y, O'ltiuur, S3 Tblrd Ave. &, Minneapolis, Mien., Jan. 0. 1900. English Idea of Humor. When two well-to-do English men or women laugh, it Is obvious that a misfortune has happened to a third.