IT
If TH ISSUES
Exhaustive and Ahu Document
Made Public by . .0 Demo
cratic Nominee,
TARIFF CHANGE IS PROMISED
With Victory in November the Ra
pacity of tho Trusts Will Be
Curbed by Wise Legislation.
Reciprocal Trade Treaties a Neces
sity of the Situation Underhand
Methods of the Administration In
Panama Denounced Justice for the
Filipinos Urged National Leader
Pleads for Co-operation of All Mem
bers of the Party In the Struggle
foi Wise Legislation and Good Gov
ernment. I&optis, N. Y., Sept. 20. Judgo Par
ker tu-dny iniiilo public his letter sup
plementing his acceptance of tho
nomination for Prtmldout of the
United Slates tendered him by the
nntloniil Democratic cunvontlon. The
document follows;
Tj tlio Hoiior.-ililo Olitunp ('lurk anil
OthniH, Cinnmlttco, I3ie.
Criilleinon. In in) ii'HpouHO Id nur
committee, at thu formal notlUentloii pio-(-filliiKH,
1 refeired lo Home tiuittiin not
mentioned In thl.i Ietlir. I iluxlto that
lliexu ho coiiHltleri'il ns Incorporated hero
in, and refit et Hint lack of nonce prevent
nwrllc tcfeioncu to tlivm all I winli
lieie, however, ana I a to lefcr to my views
llll-IT OXpiCHlHcd iih to the Kold Htnndurd,
to ilcclnro nwiln my umpitiiiilcil belief In
nulil KtumlnicI, anil to exprem my upptc
tlutlon of tho action of the convention
In reply to my communication upon that
Mihjcct.
Imperialism.
If wc would retnlu our liberties and
'"institutional rlKlits unimpaired, we can
not permit or tolerute. nt tiny time or
foi any purpdse, tho iinoKutiuu of uii
uii.stltiitlon.il powers by the executive)
jininch of our Koverntneut. Wo (mould
he ever mindful, of the words of Wo li
ft tor, "Liberty it only to bo preserved
h maintaining constitutional rcatrulnta
and u Just division of political povveia."
Already tho national government has
become centralized beyond any point
ontemplatcd or imagined by tlio fouml
oih of the constitution. How tremend
ously nil thin Iiuh ndded to tho power of
Jho president! It has developed from
year to jour until It nlmo.it equals that
of many monarch. Whllo tho Krowth of
one country and the magnitude of inter
matp Interests may seem to furnish n
Iilauslblo reason for this centralization of
power, yet theso sumo fucts afford tho
most potent relisou why the exectitivo
tdionld not bo permitted to encroach upon
tho other departments of tho Rovcin
nieiit, and assume k-Kislatlve, or other
power, not expressly confer! cd by the
const tuition.
Tlio Issue of Imperialism which has
been thrust upon the country Involves n
decHlon whether the law of tho land or
tho rule of Individual caprice shall nov
el n. Tho principle of Imperialism may
Klvu rise to brilliant, startling, ilnshlnK
ii'siiUh, hut tho principle of Dcmocricy
holds In check tho billllant executive nnd
Nuhjecls blm to the sober, conservative
control of tlio people.
The Tariff and Trusts.
Tariff reform In one of tho cnrdlnnl
pilnclples of tho Democratic, fnlth, nnd
i J he necessity for It was never Kreiitor
than nt tho present time. It tdiould bo
undei taken nt onco In the Interest of till
our peoplo.
The Dlnelcy tariff Is, excessive In ninny
of Its rates, and, as to them at lenst, un
justly and oppiesslvely burdens tho peo
ple It secures to domestic munufucttir
in. uliiKly or In combination, tho prlvt-K-ko
of exuding excessive pi Ices at home
and prlees far above tho level of salen
made regularly by them nbrond with prof
it, thus Klvlmr a bounty to foreigners nt
(he expense of our own people It levies
oppressive nnd unjust taxes upon many
ai tides forming. In whole or part, the
so-called rnw material of many of our
manufactured products, not only burden
Iiik tho consumer, but tilso closing to the
manufacturer the markets lie needs nnd
seekH nbrond. Its unjust taxation bur
(Ioiih the people Renouilly. fotcing them
in pay excessive pi lees for food, fuel,
vIothtiiK nnd other necessaries of life.
It levies duties on many article not nor
mally Imported In any considerable
amount, which uio made extensively ut
home, for which the moat extreme pro
tectionist would hardlj Justify protec
tive taxes, nnd which in large amounts
cue exported. Such duties have been and
will continue to be a direct lncenttvo to
the formation of huge industrial combi
nations, which, secure from foreign com
petition, nre enabled to Mltlo domestic
onipctlllon and practically to monopolize
tho homo market.
Kven now tho nrgument most frequent
ly uiKcd in behalf of the Dlngley tariff,
nod ugnlnat tariff reform generally. Is
the necessity of caring for our Infant
Industries. Many ot these Industries,
tfter a hundred years of lusty Krowth,
.in- looming up as Industrial giants, in
their caso. nt least, the Dlnglcy tariff
Invites combination nnd monopoly, nnd
Kites Justification to the expiesslou that
the tariff Is tho mother of ti lists.
For tho above-mentioned rensons,
linong many others, the people demand
leform of theso abuses, and such refoim
demands and should iccelve Immcdiato
attention.
In tho words of our platform wo de
mand "a revision and a gradual reduc
tion of tho tnrlff by the friends of the
masses, nnd for the common wcnl, nnd
not by the friends of Its abuses, Its ex
toitlous nnd discriminations."
It is tnio that the Republicans, who
do not admit in their platform that tho
Dlnglcy tariff needs the slightest altera
tion, nro likely to tetaln n majoilty of
the Federal Senate throughout the next
presidential term, and could, therefore. If
they chose, block oery attempt nt leg
islative relief. Hut it should bo remoni-tu-ied
that the llepubllcan party includes
many revisionists, nnd t believe It will
sin Ink from defying the popular will cx
jtiessfsl unmlstnknbly nnd peremptorily
nt tho ballot box.
The peoplo demand reform of existing
conditions. Since the last Democmtlo
administration tho cost of living bus
gilevously Increased. Those having Hx
m1 Incomes bnvo suffered keenly; those
living on wtigos. If there has been any
increase, know that such increase has
not kept pace with the advance in tho
cost of living. Including rent and tho
necessaries ot life. Many to-day are out
of work, unable to kecuie any wages at
.ill To alleviate these conditions in so
far as U in our power, should bo our
earncbt ondeavor.
Trust Remedies.
I pointed out in my eiultor response the
remedy, which In my Judgment, can ef
fectually be applied agulnst monopolies,
nnd the assurance was then given that
If existing laws. Including both statute
and common law. proved Inadequate,
pntraiy to my expectations. I favor such
tuitber legislation, within constitutional
limitations, us will best nromote and
4.vrguaid the intetests of all tho people.
Pettier there Is any common law
vhith can be applied nnd enforced by
the Tedejal courts, cannot be determined
i the president, or by u candldato for
the presidency.
The detei initiation of this question was
left by tho people In ftaming the con
stitution, to the Judiciary nnd not to
the xeoutlve. The Supremo Court of
the United States lius iceontly considered
ibis question, and. In the case or the
AVeMorn Union Telegraph Company vs.
I he Cull Publishing Company, to be found
In the one hundred and eighty -llrst vol
n roe of the Cnlted States Supiemo Court
r..oriB at wage 92 It decided that com
mon law principle roultl Im applied liv
United 8lHt-s rnurt- In cases Involving
Intcrntntc roinmei.-e In the Musnc it
United fltntc stMtutrs Moclf1elly cov
ering llm cm.sp Jti h Is tho law of the
land.
Reciprocity.
In tnj address in Hie ttntlllrntlcin com-
ll I -...! ...... lV -.. ..... ....
j iiiiii'-c t nm Hint i;iiui ic-iuiiij is u-
iiiiiiiiii.'ii it inr nesi iiiifi-sis 01 imiiii
mniiilltu'tuiei and ennsunur. ' With
iqunl ttiith It run be wild Hint the hene
llts of ' iirljirocMt trade trmllra would
miiii to liolh That the connumer would
Ix helped Is Uliqucsttonuhli I'llat the
mutiufni'tlirer would mrelie greut benellt
bj ixtemllnir his markets nbrond hardly
needs demonstiiitlou Ills productive ch
pacify has outffrimn the home umil.et.
he rty term "Home Market." bus
changed In its slgnlMcHttce. Once fiom
the mumifucluietn point of lew. It
meant expansion: to-day the marvelous
growth nt our manufacturing Industries
linn fm exceeded the consumptive cihc
Ity of our domeHtle mutketx nnd thu
term "Home Mnlket" Implies contrac
tion, rather than exiwuisloti. If we would
tin our mills to their full caimclt.v. tntm
giving steudv employment to our woik
men and nv uting to them nnd lo the
rnniiufiK tuier the profits ai-etiilng 'om
Incrmaod piixluetioii. othei muikeis must
be found, l-ni thetttiut", when our ninnii
laettireis nre denetulenl on raw mater iiIb
in whole or pfiit Unpolled, it Is v'lnl
to the extension of their market abroad
that they secute their mntcrlHls on ilia
most favorable li-inis
Our martyieU piesldcnt. Wllllnin Mr
Klnley appreclsted this Kittlntloii. He
pointed out In his Inst nddiess to the
peoplo that we must innkr sensible tn.de
uil-HtiKements If ' we ahnll extend the
outlets lor our Increasing surplus " Ho
hhIiI. "a .4jstem which pnivliles it mutual
(xchange of eoilunodltles Is lunnltestlv es
Meiitlnl to Hie continued and healthful
growth of our expoit trade. . . . '1 ho
peilnil of i-xcluslveiiess Is past The ex
pansion of our tmde nnd commerce Is
the ptesslng luoblem t'ommetclnl wnts
nre uupiolltnbli . A policy of good will
nnd fileti(ll) lelntlons will prevent te
prlsals. Iteelprocttv treaties aie In hni!
mony with the spirit of the times; mens
tiles of letiillatlou ate not."
This nigtiment was made ji the Inter
est or our manufactuieis, whose prod
ucts, he utgid, "bine six multiplied, that
tho piohleiu fif more markets lequius
our urgent and Immediate attention" He
hftd come to leiillze that the soronllcd
"stand piit" policy must give wnjfc-tnat
thele must be a led.ictlou of duties to
enable our mnnuluctuieis to cultivate
loielgn markets. The last words of this
problem who had won the aft- ctlon of
his countrMnen ought to be studied by
every man who has nny doubt of the
necessity of n reduction In tin Iff rates
in the Interact of the mamtfactuier. They
lue.sent with cleat ness n situation nnd
u pioposul lemedy that prompted (he
provision In our platfoim which dtclatts
that, "We favor liberal Undo "arrange
ments with Canada und with peonies of
other countries whete they enn bo in
tered Into with benellt to .Ammican tig
rimiltuie. mauufnctuics, mining or com
merce." 'ine persistent refusal of the Republi
can majority In tlio Kedeiul Senate to
ratify tho leclpioclty tri'atlos negotiated
In pursuance of the policy advocated alike
by Mr. Illalno nnd Mr. McKlnlev, and
expressly sanctioned In the Ulngley ct
Itself, Is u discouraging exhibition of bad
lultli. As nlready mentioned by me. tho
exorbitant duty Imposed on many tin Im
ported nrtlcle by tho Dlnglcy tnrlff was
avowedly Intended by Its author not to
be pctmnnent but to servo temporarily
us a maximum, from which tho Federal
government was empowered to offer a
eduction, In leturn for nu equivalent
concession on the put t of a foreign coun
try. President McKlnley undertook hon
estly to enrry out tho purpose of tho
net. A number of reciprocity agree
ments were negotiated, which. If ratlfiVd.
would have had the two-fold result of
cheapening muny Imported products for
American consumers, nnd of opening und
enlarging foreign markets to American
producers. Not one of thoso agreements
has met with the approval of the Re
publican masters of the Semite. Indeed
they did not even permit their constdei -ntlon.
In view of the attitude of tho
present executive, no now ngmement need
bo expected from blm. Nor does the Re
publican platform contain a fnvomble
teferenco to ono of tho suspended treaties.
Tho reciprocity clauses of tho Dlnglcy act
seem destined lo remain n monument of
legislative cozenage and political bad
faith, unless the people tuko tho matter
In their own hands nt the ballot box
and command n reduction of duties In
return for icclprocnl concessions.
Independence for the Filipinos.
In Home qliniters It has been nssumed
that In the discussion of the Philippine
question In my response, the phrase
"self-government," was Intended to mean
something It-ss than Independence. It
was not intended that It should be un
derstood to mean, nor do I think as
used It does mean less than independ
ence. However, to eliminate nlj possibil
ity for conjectuie, I now state that I
am In hentty accord with that plank In
our platform that favors doing for tho
Filipinos what wo have already done for
tho Cubans, and I favor making the
promise to them now that wc shall tuko
such action ns soon ns tlie.v aro reason
ably prcpaiod for It
Reclamation of Arid Lands.
A vast expanse of country in Hie West,
portions of which no to be found In
each of the sixteen .Hates and teirltorles,
mentioned In tho law. Is dhectly affected
by the national statute tho outcome of
Intelligent and persistent efforts of lend
ing eltlseus. piovldlng for the teclama
tlon of i.ic arlJ lauds for tho benellt of
nuiuestel.ci Dui lug tho year? of tho
development of the mea.sute which finally
received tho vote of every member of
tho upper house of Congress, It encoun
teted opposition, based lo n largo extent
upon the view that the aim of its pro
moters was to secure tho benefits of irri
gation to prlvute owners at government
expense. Tho aim of the statute is, how
ever, to enable this vnst territory to re
claim Its arid lands without culling upon
tho taxpajers of tho countty at luige to
pay for it. Whether the pui poses of the
bill will be fully accomplished must do
penil hi large measure upon the nllllt.
sobriety of Judgment, Independence ami
honesty ot the oflicets of the Interior De
partment having this groat work In
chnrge.
Panama Canal.
An Isthmian canal has long been tho
hope of our statesmen, and the avowed
aim of the two gicat patties, as their
platfoims In tho past show Tho Pan
ama route having been selected, the bul'd
Ing of tho canal should bo pressed to
completion witp all reasonable expedition
The methods by which the executive
acquired the Panama canal route und
rights ure n soutco of regret to tnan.
To them, the htntcment Hint thereby a
great public work was assured to the
profit of our people Is not n sufficient
answer to the charge of violation of nu
tlonal good fulth They appreciate Hint
i mo principles anu ncauny convictions
Allien in men urtiuiK oui llavo maiio US
free and great, stand firmly agulnst the
argument or btiggestlon that vvu shall be
blind to tho nature of the means em
nlojed to promote our welfure. They
hold Hint adherence to principle, wheth
er It w'orks 'for our good or 111, will have
a more benetlccnt intlucnce on our tu
ture destiny than nil our material up
building, and that wc should ever re
member that the Idea of doing n wrong
to n smaller, vveuker nation than wo or
even all mankind, may have a ro&ultant
good Is repugnant to tho principles upon
which our government was founded.
Amer '.an Shipping.
Our commeicv hi American bottoms
amounts to but olght percent of our to
tul eports and imports For seventv
years pi lor to 186U. when the Republi
can party cume into power, our mer
chant marine carried an average of sev-onty-flvo
per cent of our foieign com
motce. Ily 1S77 It had dwindled to twenty-seven
per cent. Now wo carry but a
contemptibly small fraction of our ex
ports and Impotts.
Amoiican shipping In the foreign trade
was gi enter by over one hundred thou
sand tons in 1810 nearly n bundled seats
ago than It was last your In the face
of the continuous dicllin- In the record
of American shipping during the last
forty-thtee years, tho promise of the Re
publican lwrty to testore it Is without
encouragement. Tin record of the Dem
ocratic patty gives assurance that the
task (an be more wisely entiusted to It
It Is an arduous task to undo tho ef
fect of forty eurs of decadence, and
lequltt-s the study nnd Investigation of
those best fitted by experience to find the
remedj which surely does not He In the
granting of subsidies, wrung troni the
pockets of all the taxpayers.
Investigation of Government Departments
Recent disclosures, coupled with tho
rapid augmentation of government ex
penditures, show n need of an Investiga
tion of every department of the govern
ment The Democrats in Congress de-
nmmlnl it The Republican majority re
fusil the (buiHlid. The people can de
tFtmlne bv thch vole In NoveinUV
whether tbev wish on honest and tlni
ought hivi'stlnatlon A l)rini' t.itl'' I ot
gres i ami ixnutlw wli unsure It
We ate Jti'tl) proud of the nluVers ai.d
men uf inn mini and nu Hnth hew
ever, have unud from the t- ralt.-nt
Injection of pvisonal and political In
fluence. Promotions nnd ipolntmeuH
l.avc been fiequotitl) bused on favoiltism
Instead of merit Tilals and couit-mur
Hals hnve been sft aside under eh cum
stances Indicating potftlenl lutetferen
'I bene nnd othei abuses should be cor
teetcd Pensions for Our Soldiers and Sailors.
The National DemcM-rnc) favois liberal
pensions to the surviving soldiers und
sallora and their dependents, on the
Klutilid Hint they deserve liberal Unit
inctit It pledges liv Its platfotm ade
quate legislation In that cud. Hut It
denies the light of the executive to usutp
the powet of Cougtess to legislate cm
that subjei l Such usurpation was m
temiited by Pension Older No. "&, and
eireet lias been given lo It by a. Congteas
Hint dared not lesent the usurpation. It
Is said that "this oidr whs made in the
perfeiiinntiee ut a dut.v Imposed upon the
liiesideuf bj a t or I'ongteag," but the
pio.lslon making the Imposition Is not
pointed out Thi n t to which the ordci
tefeis, which Is the one i elating to pen
sions lo Civil War vetetnns. does not
authorize pensions on the ground ot nge.
It does grant pensions to those "milToi -Ing
from any mental or physical dlsa
blllt.v, or disabilities, of n peimatvht
diameter, not the lesull of their own
vicious lmblis. which so Incapacitates
them ft oni the peifoimancc of manual
labor ns to lender them unable to eutn
support.' This siiecltled icuuliciucnl
of liiciiimcll) Is In elToet set aside by Ol
der No. ,x us to nil poisons over sixty
two. The war closed nenily fotty enrs ogo
In the mriiiitlmc many of our soldlcis
and sailors long am rived the ago of sl.-ty-two.
nnd passed away without lecelv
Ing any pension Skillful pension attni
ue.s hunting thiough the statute fulled
to find their a piovlsion giving a pen
sion to all who hud rem bed sixty-two
Many piominetit veterans urged the Jus
tice of cougiesslonal action giving a bt-r-vico
pension lo nil vetemns. Hills to
that ell'ec t weie luttoduced in Congress
And not until Mnieh of this enr did
mi) one 'Vet clnim to have made the
dlscoveiy that the president had power
to Itcnt the statute as if it lead that
when n claimant had passed tho nge of
sixty-two yeats he Is necessarily disabled
oiiK-hiilf In nhllit to pel form mnmml
labor anil tlierefo-o entitled to u pension
Jf elected, 1 will icvoko that order. Put
I go tutlher and say that that being
done. I will con 1 1 Unite tnv effort toward
the enactment of a law to be pussed by
both houses of Congiess and approved by
the executive that will give an ngc.pon
i.lon 'vitliout reference to disability to
tho sin viv Ing heioe.s of the civil war; and
under the piovNIons of which a pensloit
muv bo accepted wilh dignity becuuso
of the consciousness that It comes as
a Just due from tho peoplo through their
chosen representatives, and not us larcess
distributed y the chief executive.
Foreign Relations.
The foreign relations of the govern
ment have in late vcars assumed snecl.il
Importance. 1'ilor to thu acquisition of
tho Philippines, wc wore practlcully in
vulnerable against nttucks by foreign
states. Those tropical possessions, hovv
evei. seven thousand miles fronl our
shoies, have changed nil this and havo
In effect nut us under bonds to keep tho
peace. The new conditions call for n
management of foreign affairs the more
cltcumspect In that tho tecent' American
Invasion of foreign markets In nil parts
e tho world has excited the serious ap
prehension of nil the greut industrial peo
ples. It Is essential, therefore, more than
ever, to udhere strictly to tho traditional
policy of tho country as formulated by
its Hi st president and never. In my judg
ment, wisely departed fiom to invito
friendly relations with nil lyitlous while
avoiding entail ling ulllanccp with any.
Reform In Governmental Expenditures.
Twenty-eight years have passed slnco
the Democratic party of tho stnto of Now
York. In convention assembled, lecrm
mended to tho National Democracy the
nomination of Samuel J. Tlldcn us its
candidate for tho presidency, nnd de
clined It to be "their settled conviction
that u return to tho constitutional prin
ciples, frugal expense nnd administrative
puilty of the founders of the Republic
is tho first and most Imperious duty of
the times tho commanding Issue now
boforo tho people of the Union." This
strong expiesslou wits called forth by
the national expenditures for the year
1875. which umounted to $274,000,000 n
situation which. In the opinion of n hia
jorlty of our people, Justified an Impcrn
tlv e demand for reform In tho adminis
tration of public affairs. As the ex
penditure of the last tlscal year amount
ed to the enormous total of J5S2.000.000.
It Is evident that a thorough Investigation
of the public scrvico and tho immediate
abandonment of useless nnd extravagant
expenditures aro moio necessary now
than they were then. This astounding
Increase is out of all proportion to the
Increase of our population, and finds no
excuse from whatever aspect wo view
tho situation. The national Democratic
platform declares that "largo l eductions
can easily bo made In the annual ex
pidltures of tho government without l,m
pnltlng the etllclency of any branch of
tho public service." Can thcro bo any
doubt of the accuracy of this statement?
In this connections It Is Interesting to
note the recent administrative orders
foi bidding government otllcors from mak
ing public any statement of estimates on
which future upptoprlatlons nro to bo
based.
If a man of otdlnnry Intelligence nnd
prudence should find In the operating ex
penses of his business such n tremen
dous percentage of Increase, would ho
not promptly set on foot an Inquiry for
tho cause of the waste, and take Imme
diate measures to stop It, especially when
tiusted employes havo been fountl dis
honest nnd convicted, nnd n widespread
Impression exists that a thorough Investi
gation may discover other cases of mal
feasance? When the chief executive re
potted to Congress that, "through frauds,
forgeries and perjuries, nnd by shame
less bilberles tho laws relating to tno
proper conduct of tho public servico In
geneail, and to the duo administration of
tho Wistottlco detmrtmeut have been no
toriously violated . . .," thero was a
general popular demand for n rigid,
sweeping Investigation by Congress, In
add.Mou to that undertaken by the ex
ecutlso himself. Such nil investigation
tho Republican majority In Congress
would not permit, although tho minority
Insisted that the interests of good gcv
ernmyit demanded It. And the minor
ity was right 'ino liberality, patriot
ism .tnd national prido of tho people
phould not be made an excuse for waato
of the public funds. Official extravagance
Is otllcml crime.
Reform In expenditures must bo iinu
In both tho civil, military and naval es
tablishments In order that the national
expenditures may be brought to a basis
of peace nnd the government maintained
without recourse to the taxes of war.
Conclusion.
I have put aside a congenial work, to
which I had expected to devote my life,
lu order to assume, ns best I can. tho te
sponslbllltles your convention put upon
me.
I solocit tho cordial co-operation nnd
generous nssUtanco of every man who
bellevos that a chnngo of measures and
of men at this time would bo wise, and
urge hnrmony of endeavor ns well us v fg
orous action on tho part of all so minded.
Thu Issues uo Joined und tho peoplo
must render the vet diet.
Shall economy of administration be de
manded or shall extravagance bo en
couraged? Shall tho wrongdoer bo brought to bay
by the people, or must Justice wait upon
political oligarchy?
Shall our government stand for equal
opportunity or for apodal pilvilege?
Sbull It remain a government of law
or oecoim one of individual caprice?
Shall we cling to the rulo of tho peo
ple or ahull wo embrace beneficent des
potism? With calmness and confidence, we
await tho people s verdict.
If called to me ofllco of president, I
shall consider myself the chief magis
trate of nil the peoplo und not of uny
faction, and bliall ever be mindful of
thu fact that on many questions of na
tional policy there aro honest difference!
of opinion. 1 believe In the patriotism,
good sense and absolute sincerity of all
tho people. I shall strive to remember
that ho may sorve his party best who
serves his country best.
If It be the wish of the peoplo that I
undertake the duties of the presidency, 1
pledge myself, with God's help, to de
vote all my powers and energy to the
duties of this exalted ottlce.
Very truly yours.
ALTON D. I'ARKEIl.
WnCKLEl jfS
T BYRON WILLIAMcSH mWjfr
An Editorial "Send Off."
Jest erbout now down in 01' Mis
rottry, tit' snnie belli' ntwoen lmyin
mill huhkin', tit' Ifpntry paporH be cf
farvcacin with spokilashim!
Tho wny I hoarn it, ono o" them
tlinr novvflpnpor rollers what hns alius
beon a wumoran toototlar an n
mocker o' pomoB o pashtin', up and
t?iis Iniiororlntotl with thai thar lyvo'M
fitful fovor twelve mile fnim n body
or nctjucr purer, an' his autyiiiobeol
liro inincutiretl!
Secin' thot bo's surrounded by th'
enemy's arms, ho throws hlaaelf inter
th' fnee o providence (thot not beln'
Iter name), locks tho Kates behind
iilm an' gits shot vvlinr It'll do him
th most good!
Uef'rcnc'o Is made ter brother Irani;
Somers, blm an edits that thar noos
paper over at Saaarras Corners, ami
Alius Honrlette Solders, tho school
alarm, her as whom wo bow ter In
spite o' our rlieumallz an' tight Hit In'
overalls!
Krnm now on she's his'n an he's
horn, an' If lie don't split tber kin
illin' as he oughter. all she's got t'
tlo Is ter lay down lh law an' titer
statooton therein provided!
And tliarby hangs or tale.ns th'
moat kloaver said f th' choppin'
block after thor dorg had passed
through th' sklssago fakttiry! Hut
Jest why them Missoury editur.s should
be spockllatin' Is more'n I Kin see. for
every man. no matter how lie's bin
blowin' his foghorn, gits sumhody sum
day t put linseed poltlscs onto his
nuralgy. provided ho don't wait so
long th' bait all gits dried up an' onen
tlcln' no more!
For years r.ow Brother Hank has
bin puttin' his own cat out nights an'
goln' round brnggln' thot no wumetan
over'd git him cornered inter a moss
o' chlppendalo fcrnlltire in his stockiu'
feet! No, slroo!
Ev'ry time er good-lookln' wum
cran'tl come prosclitin' eround his
bnilorwiok, ho'd sic titer ofllce dorg
onto her an' take for th' bowels o' his
sanktum sanktonum, scarder than a
gopher what bed got his tail tiecap
ertated In er steel trap!
But th' good lyrd knows best, an"
ono day Brother Somers lie seen a
wumeran thot set th' whole dummed
unlverso t' slngin' "Bedella," an' slch
like poplar musik! Then he begin ter
'quotln' potry, killed bis dorg an' got
rellglouser'n all git out!
Well, t' make a long story some
less'n a spool er rope, he up an' got
married an' they do say down In Mis
Kottry he dun erbout right considerin'
th' gal, exceptin ho ottghter' seasoned
thor wind f ther shodn Iamb sost nil
h boys wouldn't a swallowed ther
stoar teeth gaspin' for sn'priso when
th' weddln' bells got ter doln' th'
dlng-dlng!
When they went on thor tower they
cum by the great lakes, somehow er
ruther, to Shlcago. They cum by
water sosts they could be seasick In
each other's arms fur the fust (and
IiVt) time! Well, him wantln' t' show
hor off ter excuse hlsself for not
askln' our opinion, ho brttng th' lady
oround fer our inspeckshun. Wo ain't
got nuthln' t' say. beln' as how he
seen hor fust, exceptin' thet she's a
bit o femerninity thot makes a feller
think o' th tlmo when his ol' wum
eran said "I will," and he wilted. She's
th kind er joolry tbet ain't goln' f
lot her ol' man git loansutn wastin'
his affekshuns on no dorg!
Well, aglu', ther boys all orlong th'
lino sort er got out an' handed 'em
bokets with ono hand atid tied a can
t' em with the other hand, jest f make
'em remember what 'twas they vvuz
colebratin'. Down f St. Joseph, Mis
soury, Bill Williams, beln' no relation
o ourn and probly glad of It. he put
er boll ontor 'em and scared 'em over
th state line Inter th' hands of Ernest
McGaffey, him beln' no respecter of
newly married folks hlsself. After
fritnln' th' life most outeu 'em show
In' 'em what th' tunnel caved in ami
whar th Masonic Temple turned
'round, we cast 'em lose ter cavort
erbout 'till ther money glv out!
Then wo got em aboard a editorial
Injlno and sent 'em back t' i.llssoury.
Hero's hopln' thet nothln' never will
git atween that thar love o' them an"
them Ol' Missoury sunsets, whar th'
roses Is painted on the varikolored
background In glorious splendor! An"
may they alius read in each ttthers
eyes thet: "Whomsomever lives true
life Is boun' ter lovo true love!"
This beln' erbout th' vvust thet's bin
dono t' 'em, wo beln' all busted up
with brain rhotimatlz, we're hopln'
Uils'll hold 'em ter awhile.
UNCLE BV.
The most stinging Insult ovor hand
ed a man is when an insurance agent
comos around the next day after ho
has lost an eye. and trios to sell him
some accident insurance.
In the country town especially tho
women do tho shopping. Wise Is tho
advertiser that appeals directly to
thorn.
A nowly marrlod shoumakar is now
using his wife's first caku for a lap
tone. A hint to the wise Is sufficient.
After the county fair comos the
Harvest Homo suppor. Folkd In the
country havo a lot of fun.
A man laves to go shopping with
his wlfo because It makes him forget
all his other sorrows.
iTfCiLE
8ASS
Br
BYRON WlLLiATCJ
n ir.rvn'.u1 i..,r ,i:ii.iil..wi
The Cub Reporter's Fate.
Politics were working like a can of
Aunt Polly's preserves In D , when
tno cub reporter secured a "sit" on
tno Morning Fog Horn and vs sent
out to get the great Danville's speech
lor early copy.
Danville was a friend of the paper
mid a good fellow. When tho cub
found him at the Burrls Hotel, he said
ye?, in Bnrkls-ls-willln' mood, nnd
summoned.n stenographer. While the
si ono made curloycues, the cub sat
on the foot of a sofa in Danville's
room and wondered when he would
bo great and inllueniial like DanUlle.
The speech being transcribed, the
reporter proceeded to Interject into
the copy at divers closing paragraphs
the words:
"Great applause!"
"Demonstration In tho audience'"
"Uproarious commendation! "anil
the like. Then he handed in the man
ttscrint and wont out to tho sinker
counter to allay the hunger within
him.
Now Danville wns a much admired
speaker, but a lesser light than either
the gubernatorial candidate or the lo
cal chairman (?) both of whom
talked long and dryly at tho evening
"rally." Despite tho fact that many
people had driven in from the rural
districts to hear Danville, who was
last on the program. It was soon evl
dent that ho would not bo heard ex
cept very briefly. Thus thero war
uneasiness In the nauseated throng
nnd disintegration ol the compact
body as the farmers "pulled thelt
freight" for pastoral haunts.
To further embarrass, there was tc
be n politicians' banquet at the lead
ing hotel following the speeches and
(thls must not be delayed too long.
uanvnie, much chagrined, but tact
tul, settled tho fidgeting by calmlj
referring to the lateness of the bout
nnd vvitlitlrawing to his hotel.
The cub reporter, busier than he
hail ever been with the Cross RoaiH
Advocate, was throwing off copy In
bales, while all this wns happening
On h'j way to the hotel, however, he
stopped In tho oOlce of tho Fox Horn
and hastily shouting up the tube tc
the city editor, to revise "that Dan
vllle speech," hurried to the banquet
hall.
He was visibly excited over his po
litical atiUlations when ho returned tc
the ofllco, but he obeyed Instructions
when the city editor blurted:
"Sutton, write a caption to that
Danville article. Say you met him In
tho rotunda of the hotel and he spoke
on the issues of the day as follows!"
Tho cub letired at J o'clock that
morning feeling he had earned at
least a part of his stipend that night.
But his sense of security and grati
fication was visibly Jarred next morn
ing! When he rend the Fog Horn he
discovered:
There was the caption to Danville's
speech all "O K," just as he had writ
ten It Danville In the rotunda of the
hotel talking to the reporter and
then
Horrors! In the body of the article
were those interjections standing out
as Tjoldly as a blue and red polka-dot
wrapper at a Sunday school picnic:
"(Sreat applause!"
"Demonstration In tho audience!"
"Cheers!"
And all this .when tho great Dan
vllle was talking to a "mere reporter'
in a hotel bbby!
Tho cog had slipped!
This incident happened during the
ear of the big wind and was, curl
ously, about the time that tho cut
blew out of the Fog Horn office tc
test his ability to swim on other blad
dors in untried seas of prospective
glory.
It Is not wise to throw bricks oven
when out of tho glass houso district
In an Illinois town a bootblack annoy
ed a man at tho depot. Tho man, pro
testing, angered the vender of shines
who throw a brick at him. The target
unfortunately, was tho superintendent
of the road, and he Issued an order to
keep all bootblacks, newsboys and
other peddlers, off the platforms. If
you want tho news at this station now
you havo to ask tho volublo (?) ticket
agent for It with the usual recrJlts.
Ten years ago the expenditures of
the Now York department stores were
less than one-half of that of to-day.
Twenty years ago It was less than
one-tenth. Thirty years ago It was a
minute fraction. Note how theso
stores havo prospered and broadened.
Does advertising pay?
Some wives object to putting their
hands in hot water to wash dishes.
These aro usually tho sort of women
that keep their husbands In hot
water up to tho breathing line.
A man can seldom rely on his
friends to toll him when to grasp an
opportunity, but they never tail to
chide him for his lack of foresight
uftervvard.
If tho girl doesn't know how to cook
:.o may havo tho money to hire one.
This is worth Investigating.
Peace hath Us war of conflict. Life
Is a perpotual sally 'gainst tho con
tending forces of existence.
A groat preventive of tramps is an
ancient bucksaw on top of a pllo ot
gnarled oak wood.
Rear Admiral Hichborn
Recommends Pe-ru-na.
tew """P""?
.' W Ai&.
wTs
1 5Pr5 ' Hsrffffif PI -j
Philip IIichl)orn,llcnr Admiral United
States Navy, m rites from Washington,
D. C, ns follows:
"After the use of Pcruna for a short
ocrtod, I can now cheerfully rccoai'
mend your valuable remedy to any ono
who Is In need of an Invigorating
Ionic." Philip Hichborn.
No remedy ever yet devised has re
ceived bitch unstinted eulogy from so
many renowned statesmen and military
men us Pcruna.
Our army and navy arc" tho natural
protection of our country. Perunu i.s
the natural protection of the army and
navy in tho vicissitudes of climate and
exposure.
If yon do not derive prompt and satis
factory results from the use of Perunn,
ivrito at onco to Dr. Hartmun, giving a
full statement of jour caso and he will
bo pleased to give you his valuable ad
vice gratis.
Address Dr. Ilartman, President of
Tho Ilartman Sanitarium. Columbus.
Ohio.
W. N. U Omaha.
No. 401904
Every housekeeper stiould know
that If they will buy Defiance Cold
Water Starch for laundry use they
will savo not only time, because it
never sticks to tho Iron, but because
each package contains 16 oz. ono full
pound while all other Cold Water
Starches are put up In -pound pack
ages, and the price is tho same, 10
cents. Then again because Defiance
Starch is free from all injurious chem
icals. If your grocer tries to sell you
a 12-o.. package It is becauso ho has
a stock on hnnd which ho wishes to
dispose of before ho puts In Defiance.
He knows that Defiance Starch has
printed on every package In large let
ters and figures "16 ozs." Demand
Definnce and save much time and
money and tho annoyance of the iron
sticking. Defiance never sticks.
Intemperance among young women
in rural districts Is said to bo rare.
Home Visitors' Excursion Tickets to
Indiana and Ohio.
Via Tho Northwestern Lino,
will bo sold at very low rates on four
Tuesdays, Sept. 13th, 20th and 27th,
ind Oct. 11th, limited to return within
30 days from dato of sale.
For particulars as to territory to
which excursion tickets may be sold,
3tc, apply
City Offices, 1401-1403 Farnam St.,
Omaha, Neb.
No man was ever discontented with
the world who did his duty in It.
vcry Low Rates to St. Paul-Minneapolis
Via Tho Northwestern Line.
Excursion tickets will bp sold at
no fare plus 50 cents on Sept. 28th,
20th and 30th, with favorable return
imlts, on account of Gideons' conven
.Ion. City Offices, 1401-1403 Farnam St.,
'Jmaha, Neb.
Light heart seldom goes with a light
lead.
The Best Results In Starching
:an be obtained only by using De
lancc Starch, besides cjettljig 4 oz.
nore for the same money no cooking
required.
Let prayer be tho key of tho morn
ing and the bolt of the evening.
CITC rnBUVrat'' enraci. No flu or nerrnainm ifta
lllw Drt cUr' Mot Dr. KMu'i OrratNerra Kcttoi
Jr. BetKlfor FRKK VS. OO trUl bottle and trctUM,
IB. It. u. KiaaCLut, Ml Xttb BUM t, 1'WlKlc lpM, X"
Character Is property; it Is the no
blest of possessions.
Important to Mothers.
ExsmlM cirefulljr erery bottle of CA8TOWA,
a tare and ears remedy for Infants and children.
and see tnat 11
'""WT
Bears the
Signature
In Ueo For Over ao Ycsrs.
Tho Kicd You Havo Always Bought.
Judge not thy friend
stand in his place.
until thou
He that wrestles with us strongth
ons our nerves, and sharpens our
skill. Our antagonist is our helper.
Uurke.
One's everyday life Is a surer re
vealer of character than one's public
acts. J. R. Miller.
We can hardly learri humility and
tenderness enough, oxcopt by suffer
Ing. Qeorge Eliot.
Tranquility is nothing else than a
good ordering of the mind. Marcus
Aure.lui.
Ii
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