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About The Alliance herald. (Alliance, Box Butte County, Neb.) 1902-1922 | View Entire Issue (May 27, 1904)
Censor Must See All "Gags." Tho DrltUh censor of plays has con siderably added to llio Riiyoty of tho JjoiuloA thoatrlcal Benson, now giving n final fillip by announcing that homo forlh all "gags" must bo tried, In writ ing, on himself, before using. "Gngs" have generally been Biippoaod to bo tho Inspiration of tho momont, dollghtful llttlo diversions from tho steady cur rent of tho play, and thoroforo tho more enjoyed, not only by tho "gag Bers," but by tho audience. Thero Is reason to doubt whothor a "gag," after having been written down and trlod in the cruclbie of tho crltlo nnd cen sor, would bo a "gag" at all. The Lon don Speaker, howevor thinks tho mu hIc hall wits havo no cause to fear so long as tins present censor continues In power. "Tho censor," It says, "who licensed tho 'Girl from Maxim's' and suppressed 'Monna Vanna,' has abun dantly proved his readiness to tolernto any Hastiness, provided only that It la also stupid." Stanley's Visit to America. Stanley revisited America several times In tho course of his eventful life. He camo over shortly after the I-lv-ingstono expedition had been com pleted, ngaln for n locturo tour after ho had founded tho Congo Frco State through tho support of tho Drusscls African International association of which Leopold, Icing of tho Helglans, was and Is tho head. This trip was cut short by tho summons to relievo Emln Pasha (Dr. Eduard Schnltzer). Ho rosponded Immediately. Tho last tlmo ho visited this country was In 1895, when he was seen In Boston nnd Now York for a short time, and then travolcd through Canada. He Must Sign In English. Somo amusing "correspondence be Iweon tho lord chancellor of Ireland nnd Thomas McDonngh Mahony, J. P., ulnco September 3, 1903," has boon Is Bucd as a Urltlsh parliamentary paper. Mr, Mahony Insisted upon signing his namo to wnrrants and other docu ments "In characters which aro alleg ed to bo those of tho Irish language," and persists In tho practice, although lio has been authoritatively Informed that It Is Illegal. Tho Justlco of Can orclveon Insists that his signature Is his usual one and disputes tho lord chancellor's law and thorc tho matter rests, oxcept that ho Is enjoined from Bitting on tho magisterial bench until ho gives nssurauco that ho will "sign magisterial documents in English." When a man is Just Bwcaring mad nnd tho wlfo says nothing but Bmllcs knowingly ho will elthor kill her or rush out into tho cold world and slam tho door. A smiling countonanco Is is not al ways an index to tho feelings. There always Is one to whom our troubles seom a misfortune. Those whom wo lovo nnd those who lovo us aro not always tho ones wo want to IwVti us or v. ho want us to lovo them. Those Who Havo Tried It will tiso no other. Dcllanco Cold Water Htarcli 1ms no equal in Quantity or Qual ity 10 ojt. for 10 cents. Other brands con tain only 12 oz. No matter how silly a woman may bo sho can always find a man who will lot nor mako a fool of him. CITC permanently eared. No fit or nerrrasnrM arte n i w tint dT'i uae of Dr. Kllna'a (lrrat Narre lienor r. Rami for PllKK W3.0O trial bottla and tnatlae. lia. It. u. Kilns, tut, wi Arch Street, WUUdelnnla, l Lots of people would rather send n dollar to tho heathen than glvo the poor at homo a pleasant look. Jim. YTInalow'a nnothtnc Syrup. For children toetblnit, aoftrni ilia Ruroa, reduce h ntmmaUoD, allaja pain, curea vrtna culiu. SScabotUe. Thero cometh tho gentle days of Bpring when tho borrowed umbrella ilndeth Its way to tho loan office. After a fellows being married a few years ho begins to long for a llttlo monotony to rellovo tho excitement. Getting Into society is llko raiding a beehive. You may find a llttlo honey, but you risk tho stings. When a man marries ho should re Blgn himself to tho lucvltablo ami dofy fato to do its worst. When Your Grocer Says lie does not linve Defiance Starch, you may bo suro he Is afraid to keep It until Ills stork of II oz. packages arc sold. Do Nauru Starch Is not only better than any other O.ld Water Starch, but contaliiB 16 os to the package and sells for same money as 12 or. brands. Some men expoct to ncquiro nil their good habits In their second childhood. Deceit is an instinct which Is strengthened by what it finds in oth ors. The distinction between tho wily and the wicked Is too fine for the wise. A woman never forgives tho man who guefases her ago too generously. A man makes no particular prog ress by patting himself on tho back. Virtue may be Us own reward, but It is not Us own advertising agent. No man roaches tho stage of trl ximph but by tho steps of trial. The man who takes Ufo as a doso always finds it a bitter one. A woman nevor forgives a man who hints that her feet aro largo. Revengo is sweet until Its ill of fsets aro fully realized. Tho uncertainties of life mako up itr greatest charm. Character Is crystallized conduct. TIRED, SUFFERING WOMEN. Women run down nnd ondurodnily tor tures through neg lecting tho kidneys. Kidney backncho makes housework a burden; rest is Im possible; sleep fit ful; appetite gives out and you nro tired all tho time. Can't be woll until tho k'dnoys nro well. Uso Doan's Kidney Pills, which havo restored thousands of suffering women to health and vigor. Mrs. Wlllinm Wallace, of IS Capitol St., Concord, N. II., snys: "I was In tho early stages of Drlght's Disease, nud were it not for Doan's Kidney Pills, I would not bo living to-day. l'nln in tho back was eo intense that at night I had to get out of bed until tho paroxysm of palu passed away. I was languid and tired and hadn't tho strength to lift a kettle of water. I could not work, hut a few doses of Doan's Kidney Pills relieved mo, and two boxes absolutely cured mo." A FREE TRIAL of this great kid noy medlclno which cured Mrs. Wnl laco will bo mailed to any part of tho United States. Address Foster-Mil-burn Co., Buffalo, N. Y. Sold by all dealers. Prlco GO cents per box. Tho tongue can maito tho most sen sible nppcar to disadvantage. Free to Twenty-Five Ladies. Tho Defiance Starch Co. will glvo 25 ladles a round trip tickot to tho St. Louis Exposition, to five ladles in each of tho -following states: Illi nois, Iowa, Nebraska, Kansas nnd Missouri wh will Bend in tho largest number of trado markB cut from a ten cent, 10-ounco pnekago of Defiance cold water laundry starch. This means from your own home, any whero in tho nbovo nnTmea states. These trado marks must bo mailed to nnd received by. tho Deflanco Starch Co., Omnha, Nebr., before Soptembor 1st, 1901. October and November will bo tho host months to visit tho Exposition. Romembor that Deflanco is tho only starch put up 10 oz. (a full pound) to tho package, oti got one-third moro starch for tho sarao money than of any other kind, and Deflanco never sticks to tho iron. Tho tickets to tho Exposition will bo sent by registered mall Septomber &U. Starch for salo by all doalcrs. Diamonds a Good Investment. About n year ago a young broker who had tho shining light of a horrl bio oxaraplo boforo him, his father' having lost two fortunes in Wall Btroot, foil heir to about $30,000 from tho cstato of an aunt. Ho mado up his mind that this money would ho safely invested, and, hearing that dia monds wcro constantly going up, he put tho entire sum into tho stones. Ho bought them at a trlflo below mar hot value from pawn brokers' sales shops, retaining tho services of an export. Ho Bold tho entire lot tho other day at a profit of ?9,000, over 25 per cont on Ms investment. Dia monds nro going up constantly, and tho main supply, tho KImborloy nnd tho DoDeers mlnos of South Africa, Is constantly lessening. When a girl falls In lovo Mommor nnd Popper might as woll throw up their hands nnd trust to Providence. Tho mnn who Jollies othor people along generally manages to Jolly him self nlong with them pretty woll, thnnk you. A World Wide Reputation. Wherever men nre there will bo Illness and wherever people uro 111. Dodds Kid ney l'llb will bo found a blessing. Sole ly on their merits havo they pushed their way Into almost every part of tho civil ized world. Their reputation ns an hon est medicine that can always bo relied on has been built up by tho grateful pralso of thoso who have been cured. Tho two following letters Indicate Just how the reputation of this remedy knows no geographical bounds. Tho sick nnd suffering all over tle world aro asking for Dodds Kidney Pills: Dear Sirs: I havo been suffering from some mouths from a lvldnoy complaint. The doctor who attended mo has recom mended mo to tako your l'llls, "Dodds Kidney Pills." After two boxes I got some relief. But unfortunately I liao not been ablo to go on with the treat ment, being unable to find any l'llls in Cairo. Tho Chemist who sold me the two boxes has Informed me that ho had bent an order lor sonic, and has been keeping me waiting for moro than one mouth. 'J his Is tho reason why I nm writing to you to request you to have the goodness to send me by return of post six boxes for which I will pay ns soon as 1 receive them from the post. Kindly let me know at tho same time where your brunch agency In Kgypt Is to be found. Thanking you In anticipation, M dimmed Kaclu-d, "Immeubles fibres do rKtat," Olllee of the Minister of Finance, Culro. EGYPT. Dear Sirs: I want to purchase six boxes of Dodd's Kidney Tills, but I don't know exactly where to apply at liuiTalo or London. I suppose they can bo sent by express or registered mall from cither place, l'leaso udvUe me of how to pro ceed in order to got the pills without de lay. Yours truly. J. P. SImouson. VI bonr, V, ilark, DENMAIIK. Why don't society editors come right out and say that it was the bridegroom who was' "led to tho al tar?" Having a Plc-nlc. PIc-NIcs are never complete without saudwlchos, sweet white bread with a generous layer of meat between. Llbby's canned meats aro ideal for plc-nics and outings. Tho cans nro so easily opened and tho contents so fresh and palatable that no plc-nlc is a success without Llbby'u "Natural Flavor" Food Products. A woman can never understand why Mrs. Noah pormlttod her husband to bring mice into the ark. IF TOD D8E I1AI.X. BLUB, Get Red Cross nail Dine, tbo best Ball Bios, Largo U oz. pockago only C cenU. It remalneth to be seen whether tho real bachelor will succumb to tho leap-year bachelor maid. MEMORIAL DAY. Composed by Rev 1'. r. Dufpt. Moderato marsiale. ' 4- -c- W 1. "Weep, oh, weepl for the 2. "A - vaunt! a - vaunt!" Death's 3. "Peace, sweet peace I" said the 4. Ami voi ccs saner out 5. "In friend - ship's bonds to -.-.i 1-i-P r j 1 J !"c JlH sz :gi: '. '' ww ,j g) - s 1 e wgj 'J dead, cried, White, hove, live, Urnv Rio bring clear all est ri - to ring - man Twas "I In Ami j' T said;' died; liRht; love; give; "Weep Bleed An -To homes A right for the ing nud ger and of to -f2 fcM2fcfcf6 -&Z T mmm u; strife, Oh, weep!" said the breath, "They're mine!" said the cease, And broth - cr meet Blue. "Here's a mes - sajie O pray, And point to -ft. T) 7CT5 mm ts- r EfeggrrzEgg ; , , , , Copyright, 1901, by Dr. F. P. Duffy. Mr. Ryder 1b the author of the Fourth of July waltzes which appearec In the July number of the Ladles' Home Journal, "Hear Ye the Voices,' "The Celestial City," etc. MiiMWiMMawMMMBMniawaanMiaMp "BILLY," THE BLOCKADE RUNNER. V. It was doso and sultry; no brenth of air stlrrdd tho pines, and tho mullein-stalks beside tho roadway were drooped flat to earth. Even Lloutcnnnt Thomas Morloy Gray, as ho sat smoking very methodi callyas ho did all things upon tho top rider of a rickety rail fence beside tho roadway, appeared as utterly ig norant that two great armies in blue nnd gray wero doggedly facing each other in serricl ranks not uwrb than three miles away, notwithstanding that ho himself wore a uniform whoso color belied his name. When nn hour had passed a long, dragging hour, during which ho had alternately fanned himself with his hat and waged unequal combat with tho mosquitoes, which, despite tho smoke, had declared hostilities Gray put on his hat with a determined air and slid down from tho fence. As ho did so ho saw a cloud of dust moving along tho roadway in his direction. Then out of tho dust-cloud emerged a yellow dog, trotting along heavily with hiB tonguo lolling from his mouth. "Billy," said Gray, stooping to pat tho panting beast, "good old Billy. What what the" ho broke off sud denly in surprise, for tied to tho dog's collar was a violet envelope of small dimensions and tho superscription on It wa3 his own namo. Gray snatched tho onvolopo and tore it open. "Dear old Tommy," he read. "Humph," he interpolated. "I know theso 'dear old Tommies' trouble." Ho again turned to tho note. "I can't road Chaucer beneath tho big plno tree with you this afternoon because I'm going out riding with Mr. Bennett. Excuso haste and brevity, but ho is waiting for mo now. I shall show Billy your gauntlets hero nnd tell him to find you, which I'm suro ho will do. Now don't bo angry and make mo call you 'Tommy Green Eyes' again. "Trusting Billy may find you soon, "HELEN." Gray surveyed tho cloudless sky for several tumultuous moments. "Now, wouldn't that " ho began. The 8ontenco died in an inane gurglo, while Gray's faco grew wrathfully red and great beads of perspiration stood on his forehead. Then ho tore a leaf from his notebook, hastily scrawled a few words and tlod it to Billy's collar, whero tho other noto had reposed. He arose, and, followed by thb dog, stalked down tho road. When they came to tho fork Gray pointed down tho left-hand road and said, sternly, "Home, Billy. Home, sir." Aftor ho had watched tho dog trot off dejected ly Into tho dust he himself went slow ly up tho other road to sneak his way back to his company's bivouac. Lato that evening Billy scrambled into tho hammock whero his mistress lay. Sho saw tho note and In tho dim light from the window bosldo her read theso words: "My dear Helen: "I trust you'll have a pleasant after noon. Undoubtedly it will bo much preferable to Chaucer beneath the pine. Billy reached mo aftor I had waited several hqurs for you. Tho tlmo passed very pleasantly, thanks to tho villainous heat and swarms of famluo-strtcken mosquitoes. Being Arranged by I'rbd L. Rtoeo. d- uj.. i - -m m- gal laut An - gel An - gel in from a - geth - er A of brave!" Life's An - gel ous war iu which thev thee truth, hope, and ing nc - cents full of kind ex - am - pies . hate, tur - moil man gled, gasp strife for - ev both, the Gray think, to act, nud ing er and to for shall the rfrgj-r fer x. fe fr- -A 3 r- ? m H?Z- '"-. rr r- An - gel of Life An - gel of Death broth er in peace." broth - er for you: heav'n and lead the way.". tho bouI of devotion, I shall be delight ed any afternoon in tho future to gc through tho Inquisition again for the sake of tho reward of a similar note telling mo you are riding with this latest arrival In town. "THOMAS M. GRAY." Tho next afternoon, ns Gray was getting his men in order for a threat ened uttnek of the "rebs," Billy again came trotting up with tho violet en velope attached to his collar. In tho shade of somo sumach bushes Gray snatched time to read tho contents. "Your latest outburst duly received, per Billy, Mr. Tommy Green-Eyes. Pray don't subject yourself 10 heat and mosquitoes on my account." The note Billy carried back read as follows: "Thanks. I had no intention ol doing so. T. M. G." Then for a week there was silence between them. Gray In his anget cursed tho Confederates for lying on their arms instead of making things sc lively that ho would havo a chance tc cool his rage on them in battle. Bui Instead ho was obliged to Bit inactive in camp and dally watch Helen Den nlson and Hammctt, tho foppish civil Ian, go tiotting along tho Confederate front on horseback. No wonder he fumed. But ono evening when tho whole town was In a ferment over tho wel' authenticated rumor of long impend Ing battlo to como on tho morrow Gray heard a mighty yelping and kl yl-ing in tho road as ho was sklrtlnj the camp on a final round of Inspec tlon. Ho turned back to find Blllj and a brlndle bull terrier hard at it With judicious kicks ho managed tc get them apart, and then his heari camo into his throat, for attached tt Billy's collar was a bit of violet en velope. Gray snatched It eagerly. V had been sadly mutilated In tho fray "I'm In terror over what might hap pen to-morrow. I was Just trying U mako you Jealous," he read, and lr another place he mado out, "I'm lono somo for you, you foolish " .... Miss Helen Dennison, sitting on tin broad veranda of tho cottage, saw t strange outfit trotting sedately acrosl tho lawn. .It was Billy a wreath o' oak leaves about his neck, and tied tf his tall a small silk flag which flut tored bravely in the breeze. Proml nent on the oak wreath was an on vclopo addressed to herself: "My dear Helen," sho read, an laughed softly; "I received but tin' merest fragments of your note, for B1I ly tried conclusions with a hull terrlei with disastrous results. Neverthelesi enough remained to glvo mo consld erablo enllghtenmont. Billy's appear anco when hd reachos you if In doesn't get Into othor difficulties 01 tho way is tho result of my poor at tempt to express my state of mind We'd better make it as early as poa slble and spend our honeymoon befon your 'rebs' get mo." And Lieut. Thomas Morley Gray who strode up tho gravol walk at tha momont. boheld Billy struggling fron tho embrace of a young woman, win blushed furiously as she saw hln ptanding there. Barry Paine in Sai Trancisco Call. f. c-r r -n : -1 HHwf' -mR' yMzA BB Y4 JHv ''";v,-. HB PiVv''"'- Hk K, H A prominent club forth, of St. Joseph, Mich., tells how she was cured of falling of the womb and its accompanying pains and misery by Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound. "Dkau Mrs. Pixkham: Lifo looks dark indeed "when a woman feels that her strength is fading away and sho has no hopes of ever being- restored. Such was my feeling a few months ago when I was advised that my poor health was caused by prolapsus or falling of tho Womb. Tho words sounded like a knell to me, I felt that my sun. had set; but Iiydla 13. Pinlchnm's Vegetable Compound camo to mo as an elixir of lifo ; it restored" tho lost forces and built mo up until my good health returned to mo. For four months I took tho medicino daily and each doso added health and strength. I am so thankful for tho help I obtained through its use." Mns. Florence Danforth, 1007 Miles Am, St. Joseph, Mich. A medicine that has restored so many women to health and can produce proof of the fact must bo regarded with respect. This is tho record of Iiydia 13. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound, which cannot be equalled by any other modicino tho world has over pro duced. Hero is another case : m B -4Sk VaO OTl not seem medicine, Iij'dla 13. three of Sanative enjoying Center Mi v y m A "FRKE MEDIC AIj ADVICE TO WOMEN." Women would save tlmo nnd much sickness if they would writo to Mrs. Pinkham for ndvico as coon as any distressing symp toms appear. It is free, and has put thousands of women on tho right road to recovery. Mrs. Pinkham never violates tho confidence thus entrusted to her, and although sho publishes thousands of testimonials from women who havo been benefited by her advice and medicine, never in all her experience has sho published such a letter without tho full consent, and often by special request of tho writer. 4ft P ft A ft FORFEIT!' wo cannot forthwith produce tho original letters and ilenituret ol Xnllllll nhure toiiunoulali, ulilch will proro their absoluto genuineness. I0W UUU ldla It. l'lnkhaiu Medlcluo Co., Iomn, Mas. THE MAN BEHIND THE GUN Is our namo for tho patent Separating Grato and Check Plate in the famous RED RIVER SPECIAL THRESHER. It has tho Big Cylinder, with lots of concave and open prate surface. It has the Mnn Behind tho Qun, that does most of the separating- right at thu cylinder. besides these, it has all the separat ing capacity of other machines. The average old-stylo binall cylinder thresher wastes enough grain and time to pay your thresh bill. Why not save tho grain ordinarily put into tho straw stack? Why not s;rvo tho time which tho ordinarv threshing outfit wastes for you? This can ho dono by employing the RED RIVER SPECIAL. It runs right along, saving your grain and saving time, regardless of con ditions. NBCHOLS & Builders of Threshers and Engines. Battle Creek. Mich 50 YEARS IN BUSINESS. BRANCH HOUSES AND AGENTS EVERYWHERE. The Immensity of Russia. Russia embraces one-sixth of tho land surface of tho world. It is moro than fifty times larger than Japan and has a total area of 8,G50,000 square miles. Half of Europe and tho whole of northern Asia are included within its boundaries. It has a greater con tinuous area than any other nation in tho world. BUSINESS PRUDENCE moans carcrul buying of tho small things as woll as the largo. Paragon Typewriter Ribbons bear tho special guarnnteo of tho Remington Type writer Company. They soil singly for 75 cents each. If you buy tho Para gon Ribbon coupon books, you get them for 58 1-3 cents. Lots of inferior goods cost moro than that. Somo of the lowest places In a city aro likely to bo owned in tho highest. Important to Mothers. Examine carefully every bottle of CASTOOTA, a safe and euro remedy for Infanta and children, sol ece that It Scars tho Signature of In Use For Over 30 Years. Tho Kind You Bare Alwaja Uou;at. &&&: woman, Mrs. Dan- "Dear Mrs. PijnrnAsi: For years I wa3 troubled with falling of tho womb, irregular and painful menstruation, leucorrhcea, bearing down pains, backache, headache, dizzy and fainting spells, and stomach trouble. " I doctored for about five years but did to improve. I began tho use of your and nave taken seven bottles of Pinkham's Vegetable Compound, Blood Purifier, and also used the Wash and Liver Pills, and am now good health, and havo gained in flesh. 1 tnanic you very mucn, ior wnat you havo dono for me, and heartily recom mend your medicino to all suffering women." Miss Emma Snyder, 218 East St-'Marion. Ohio. As the modern self-binder is ahead of tho old reaper of forty years ago, so is the Big Cylinder and Man Behind the Qun ahead of the small cylinder old stylo thresher. Tho old-stylo thresher with its small cylinder and limited separating capac ity, has stood for years without much improvement. Tho RED RIVER SPECIAL is tho crowning improvement in threshing machinery. It is built for modern, up-to-dato work; to thresh well; to thresh fast; to biivo tlmo and grain and money for the thresherman and farmer. It does it. Thero are reasons why. Send for our new book on threshing, it gives them and it is free. Tho RED RIVER SPECIAL is tho only machine that has the Mnn Behind the Qun, and it will save enough extra grain and tiino to pay your thresh bill. SHEPARD CO.. World's Fair New Train Service On nnd after Sunday. April 24th. 1904, Word's Kair Trains will leave Omalm Tnlon Station for Kaiibua City and St, Louis lit 10:45 a. m. 5:30 p. m. 11:45 p. m. Speclnl rates on sale commenolnK April 15th. For tickets, berths umt In formation, cull or nddrcsH Airent Union Station or TIIOS. I GODFREY Puss, and Ticket Acent. S. E. Cor. 15th and Douglas Streets, OMAHA, NEB. Lawn Fence Iron or wire, many styled, rocn;at(lenco. church, ftohool, cemetery; poultry and hog fence; farm gules. Scud foi catalogue. Chjmpton Iron aid Wire Workt OMAHA. NED. PORTRAIT AGENTS! T1..1 TI.a. .... Manufacturer a OurKoodthelet. I'rlcet the loweit. l'romptbltl tpenu. Uelltery of all portraits guaranteed' bead for catalogue !)! agonta' price Hit. Addreaa ADAM J. KBOUft CO., Hew Era Bld Chicago. W. N. U.f Omaha, Neb. No. 22. 1 4 r -! j....- - v aimrirwtiriMl
