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DAKOTA COUNTY HERALD
"SHOWING OFF" THE COLONEL
Storekeeper Had Eye for Business In
Keeping, Good-Looking Customer
Waiting for Attention.
A woman In u small town asked her
SwsbanO, Colonel Iiliuil;, to call In nt
tltc dairy when passing to order somo
iww-lnlil eggs. After making a brief
jfefaur tlie colonel yielded. A little
Inter he called at the shop In (lueHtlon.
e,nlte n small and unlniportaut estnb
Hs&mcnt on a back street.
Two or three minutes passed; then,
2Ui no one came Ui servo him, tliu colo
cl gnvo n gcntlu knock on the coun
ter. This had no effect; ho a smart
oT)tlo rap was Riven. Then a curly
Steaded younRster put his head nround
the door and announced, "rnther's
a-omUi."
By ll.e time the father arrived the
colonel was boiling with rnge.
"What do you mean by keeping mo
milling all this time?" ho roared.
"Very sorry, sir," said the man, "hut
yoa BM! it's like this. You're the very
Semi good-looking man that I've had In
my rJiop, and ns there were n lot of
pcoplo flawing by I thought what a
icoofl advertisement you was a-stand-Ing
there." Philadelphia I'ubllc Led
Eer. . Profit and Loss.
First Tramp I'm sure hungry. How
kin vrc git a bite to cat?
Second Tramp I'll (ell ya. I'll give
yo a black eye.
I'lmt Tramp A bind: eye! What
for?
Hccond Tramp Sure, then you run
and niik that old lady In that house
mt yonder for a piece of raw meat to
pot on It.
The Reason.
"Was Ids bankruptcy due to a lack
f brains?" "Yes a lack and a lass."
-WayBldo Talcs.
i
A mob always draws' the line nt a
lynching.
Principles
doctrines.
ot acoustics aro sound
Sttall Old Man Gloom glare at
I ttHnllHVP4ifliHRil
winter from the dirty, dingy, streaked VVS A fncer ana, 'P"a"V "'oaerinzc your
, ' ,, ea t 9 Ks home and conduce to health, happt-
and unsanitary walls of your home? P css and thc pridc, 0fUving? Ft
We know what your answer will be and to secure these satisfying results you have only to use
Instead of
Alabastinc is a drv nowder
Eound packages in white and a. variety of
cautiful colors ready to use by mixing with
pure cold water, with full directions on
every package.
Alabastinc has been on thc market for forty
years, is a household word in every civilized
country in thc world. If unable to secure
thc services of a painter or decorator you
can apply Alabastinc yourself.
Important to Know
To secure Alabastinc results you must get
Alabastinc; it is necessary to see that thc
package has thc word "Alabastinc" and thc
cross and circle printed in red.
When cmplovinc the services of a nainter
YA
ask lim to oring thc Alabastinc in unbroken
actcages ana mixea on tne
k' -U J . -J ..!-.
iuu m uu iu kuuviutc
yg you what you desire
imiiiiiiiM
mmm
A RELIABLE FIRM TO SHIP TO
RSOE BROS.
LIVE STOCK COMMISSION
CATTLE, HOGS AND SHEEP
"SERVICE THAT SERVES"
Accurate Market Reports Gladly Furnished Free
SIOUX CITY , CHICAGO SIOUX FALLS
X
tos
m
Y
i
$'
hs
w.
V
7
x
Just a few doses taken In time have saved thousands from serious
sickness. For fifty years Pc-ru-na has been the popular family
mcdiclno for coughs, colds, catarrh, stomach and bowel disorders
and nil diseases of catarrhal origin.
KEEP IT BN THE HOUSE
TnMoia nr T.irmM
-"-.,
In Different Classes.
A visitor In nn Australian .home In
quired of his host's little son: "Do
you go to school now?"
"Yes, sir."
"And what do you learn rending,
writing, sums?"
"Oh, yes, nnd I lenrn religion, loo."
"Ilcllglon?"
"Yes, I learn the little religion which
tenches that we all come from Adam.
But my older brother Is In a higher
class; he learns the big religion, and
that teaches that wo nil come from
monkeys." Boston Transcript.
Tables Made of Paper.
Tables, chairs and other articles of
furniture arc now muuo from com
pressed paper so colored and polished
ns to give It the appearanco of the
finest woods.
Mentally Bankrupt.
"Ilegglo Is in a bad way; his mind
Is unsettled."' "Ko? Well If it ever
settles it will not be for more than
20 per cent."
you all V .g, p SI Or would
b 17 & m
Alabastioe
Wallpaper, Paint or Kalsomine
nacked in fivc-
Alabastinc Over Painted Walls
Have you had thc experience after going to
considerable expense to paint your walls, on
thc theory that they wouldbe washable the
same as your woodwork, of finding that after
washing them they were grimy, streaked and
unsatisfactory? Have you hesitated at the
expense of again repainting them?
If the paint is solid on thc wall and not
scaling, go over it with a coat of Alabastinc
and be pleasantly surprised as to effects pro
duced and saving effected. Alabastinc may
even be used over old soiled wallpaper that
is firm on thc wall not printed in aniline
dyes or with raised figures.
You Can Always Get Alabastinc
There is hardly a town where Alabastinc is
not carried in stock by dealers who carry
paints. If you do not find it and arc offered
something else claimed to be just as good,
write uc nnd we will tell you now to easily
secure Alabastinc.
joo. i ms nc win
. ..U-.. 1.- J
yuu inac nc is
and pay tor.
Sample caul of tints furnished by dealers or write to us direct.
TLie Alabastine Company, Grand Rapids, Mich.
.j..v... n;i ..jiii
ONLY A COLD
BUT DON'T NEGLECT IT
A cold is an acute ca
tarrh which can easily be
come chronic. A great
many diseases may be trac
ed to a catarrhal condition
of the mucous membranes
lining the organs or parts.
PE-RU-NA
AH IDEAL EMERGENCY REMEDY
finlrl TJrornriinrn. I,
The Real Question.
Squire Barlow, of Guilford town
ship, Ilendricks county, emphasized n
point 'of law Monday nt the close of a
hearing when some young men had
pleaded guilty to taking watermel
ons. The father of one of the hoys
had answered an S 0 S call from bis
son and had paid thc flue nnd costs
of $12.50. Then the father, who was
seeking some Justification, said: "I'd
like to ask if there Is any man present
who did not steal watermelon when
lie wns a young man." Several men
were present but no one made reply.
Then Squire Bnrlow said: "That Is
nbt the question. The question is,
did you get caught?" Jndlunnpolis
News.
For Freedom.
Convict "I'm hero for having five
wives." Visitor "How nre you en
joying your liberty?"
Four-fifths ov the world's halibut
supply Is captured in Pacific coast
wators.
you prefer walls that radiate
HUMPHREY
The Dry Cleaner and Dyer
Expert Cleaning. Dyeing and Repairing.
Hats Cleaned,
-n Ni-Wska St., SIOUX CITY, IOWA
TWO IN ONE
Bins and Cribs
Penfl tor c'.rcnltr and prlco on
Carwr OombtoaUon Omin Bin
anil Oorn Crib, puopgv "'a
beat Tentllaud bin cu Uiouirtm.
tiinSUT 5TKTAI. CO OMAHA
THEONLYTOOll
NrotOTOAPPW
OAltTIiU
W. N. U,
3IOUX CITY, NO. 39-1921 i
& Vis
CONDENSED
. CLASSICS
HOMER'S ODYSSEY
Condensation by
Prof. William Fcnwlck Harris
SX
lMWMte&WMtotei
The Grecka Trcrc
Iirlnccn of Hfory-
IcIlliiK, nnd Homer
" i m. rj.
wan their kitiK.
Who he wnii nnd
where he lived In
one of the unnn-HU-cred
quentlonn
of Iilxfory. Seven
cltlen nnd more
claimed him nn
their Brcnlf nt
nource of pride.
The moat vrc enn
be nnrc of la thnt
to ua hnvc come
dovrn two of the
ninny poems thnt
VAajg
&P jarSSM
fv ' "y
1W,
v
jm..
W
henr hla nnme, the
Hind nnd thc
Odynsey.
Like thc Hebrew
Ulblc, they have
become part of
the heritage of universal humanity.
Wc call them epic poeninf they nre
rather great historical romances.
Each hns n story of l( own) In the
Iliad It Is the vrrnth of Achilles against
King AKnmcmnonj In thc Odyssey It
Is the wanderings of Odysseus on his
way back from thc wars nt Troy. Hack
of them both ns remoter cause Is the
tale of the fatal beauty of Helen. In
each nre innumerable short stories,
which have been storehouses of ro
mances for writers ever since first they
became known.
It Is one of the mnrvcls of thc
Greeks that they step out of the mist
of unrecorded history with a highly
developed civilization, portrayed in two
of the world's masterpieces of litera
ture. The Greeks In later years wrote
"lives" of Homer with gTcnt exactness
nnd minute dctntl. They knew no more
about thc "blind bard" than do we.
Indeed, they were not even sure thnt
one poet wrote both tnles. Ilut thnt
the stories were the work of supreme
genius they were ns sure ns hnvc been
nil men since their dny who have rend
them.
nomcr wns thc Greeks' ''best seller"!
they thronged in thnnnnnds to henr him
recited) their religion, their thought,
their education were nil hnaed on him,
under whose nnme la told the great
story of their heroes. '
I
T IS the tenth yenr since Troy has
fallen. Though the Hind did not
go beyond the death of Hector nt
Achilles' hands, other stories cnrrictl.
on the tale through the death of
Achilles, the capture of Troy by the
Greeks by means of the strategem of
the wooden horn?, the sacking and
burning of the city, the death of
Prlnm nnd his queen, the slavery of
Andromache which Hector had fore
seen, the slaughter of the little son
he loved so dearly, the escape of
Aeneas with his nged father.
After the booty had been divided,
the Greek chiefs took leisurely courses
to their homes. The great King Aga
memnon sent his dramatic night let
ter,, announcing to his queen at home
by tho light of flames leaping from
hilltop to hilltop ncross thc sea that
Troy had fnllen ; for lus pains ho met
tho dramatic death nt the hand of
Queen Klytalmnestra which Aeschy
lus has made forever famous In his
great play, "Agamemnon;" tho latter
has In It the beginning of the story
of Orestes, the close Greek counter
part of Hamlet. Thc king's brother,
Menolaus, had bettor fortune; ho had
Journeyed homeward with his erst
while Queen Helen, ns If tho great
Trojan episode had never been, and wns
reigning again In pence and quiet with
the World's Desire by his side at
Sparta, with no dread of a maraud
ing PnrJs sent on the quest of beauty
by Aphrodite. And so, too, tho other
princes had returned with varying
fortunes.
But not so tho Great Adventurer.
Troy had taken ten years to capture;
ten years more still found the wily
Odysseus detained In tho Islo of
Ogygin by the fair Calypso. Mean
while the patient Penelopo bides at
home, beset by tho riotous suitors who
mnko Liberty ball of tho nbsont king's
palace and would force the queen to
wed ono of them. She, over ns alert
and resourceful as her wandering
lord, puts oflT her promise till she has
woven a web of which she each night,
unravels what sho has dono during
tho day.
Tills first groat story of wandering
ndventuro has a much more perfect
unity than the Ulad. It centers close
ly about tho person of Odysseus, nnd
divides Itself Into three parts, tho ad
ventures ot Telemnchus In quest of
Odysseus, the wanderings of the hero,
aud his return home, whoro with the
few still fnlthful to him ho makes
himself his own detective, lays the
Bccno for tho destruction of the vil
lains, nnd finally brings about tle
happy ending which hns so constantly
distressed critics of tho novol and the
thenter slnco man began to writo nnd
ordinary folk to listen or to road.
In tho first chapter, which comprises
the first four "books" of the Odyssey,
young Tolcmachus, amidst tho mock
ery of tho suitors, starts In quest of
his father, and makes tho rounds of
the courtB of our old friend Nestor,
Hng of Pylos, nd of Menclnus nnd
llclon at SpnrW, whoro ho learns tho
whereabouts of Ids father, nnd then
jturts homeward.
At this moment It Is at Inst made
possible for Odysseus to start on his
troy home. But the sea, ever his
N;emy, again plays hlra false, nnd he
, wrncKcu nnco more, wiuuku u
IT
M'
Mfl v iv '
cast ashore on tho laud of thc I'haea
clans. There begins In tho land of this
fabulous folk one of tho most mar
velous adventures of the man of mar
vels. Probably the scene that remains
In tho minds of the grent majority
of readers of Greek literature as tho
fairest bit of Idealized beauty In It all
Is the picture of tho young Princess
Nntlslcnn. She had gono down to thc
river mouth with her liandmnldens to
wash linen ; their work done, they fell
to plnylng ball upon the shore, where
Odysseus, beneath the ."hade of the
bushes, was sleeping off the weary
travail of his long swim. "Then hav
ing bathed nnd anointed themselves
sleekly with ollvo oil, they took their
meal by the banks of the river nnd
waited for the clothes to dry In the
bright rays of the sun. And when
they had cheered themselves with
food, maids and mistress alike, tlioy
began to play ball, casting aside their
veils. And for them fnir-anned Nau-
slcaa began the song. As Artemis the
nrcher-goddess goeth down from n
mountain, cither lofty Taygetus or
Krymanthus, tnklng her sport with
bonrs nnd swift deer, nnd with her
the wood-nymphs sport, daughters of
ncgls-bearlng Zeus, and Leto rejolceth
In henrt, and over nil she holdeth
head nnd brows, and easy to mark is
she, though nil be fair so was the
unwed maid consplcuotts among her
attendants."
The day's work nnd the sport wore
over; they were about to depart nnd
leave the weary sleeper under the
bushes when one last throw sent the
ball spinning Into the wnter. Instant
nnd unanimous scream from princess
and from maids 1
So Odysseus was introduced to
Phaeacla, and th Introduction proved
well that the hero knbw not only the
ways of men, but of maids as well. Of
thc many pleasing things he said to
tho princess to win her favor, one
stands out conspicuous his conlpnrl
son of her perfect youth to the young
shoot of a palm tree he had scon in
Delos. Whoever has 'a gardener's eye
knows Instantly the perfect tribute.
Then followed thc presentation of
tho royal wanderer at the court of
King Alclnous nnd Queen Arete nnd
the tale of his adventures since leav
ing Calypso's Isle. The king Is moved
nnd promises to help the stranger on
his way. A feast Is held; tho court
bard sings of Troy the stranger
weeps; the king presses him to tell
his story. It was a wondrous tale ho
had to tell, tho like of which was
noven heard before or since. Begin
ning with the fall of Troy, he had
made his course to Thrace, to the
Lotus-eaters, to the land of tho Cy
clops, when befell the adventure with
Polyphemus, whose ono eye he put
out; next the trying experience with
the perverse winds of Aeolus, with
tho Laestrygonlans, and with tho en
chantress Circe, who turned her vis
itors into swine. Then came the de
scent to Ilndes, which set tlie fashion
for Virgil nnd for Dnnte and all the
others who have essayed that great
adventure. The sirens, Scylla and
ClinrybOls, and other adventures
brought tho tale up to Calypso once
more.
Alclnous and tho Phneaclans sent
Odysseus on his way to1 his home nt
Ithaca. But his old enemy Poseidon
turned tho ship to stone, and the wan
derer reached homo nlono, In thc
guise of nn old boggarman. where he
arrived as his son, Telemachus, was
returning from his travels. ,
Then began the thrilling tale of thc
wiles and guiles to win his own from
the suitors who -had taken his place,
thc harbor of refugo with faithful old
Eumneus, the swine-herd, the recog
nition by Telemachus, the death ol
tho true old dog Argos on sight of his
long nbsent master, tho Interview with
Penelope, the recognition by his old
nurse who knows him by a scar upon
his leg, tho final great trial of strength
between the old beggarman and the
suitors; they cannot even bend the
famous bow of Eurytus; he, however,
strings It with ease and sends nn
arrow singing through tho holes of
twelve battle-axes, sot up ono behind
another.
At that Instant the beggarman
throws off his dlsgulso nnd with Tele
machus and only two faithful follow
ers slays the evil suitors, wins back
his true wife who has waited patient
ly all those long years, and hastens to
greet his old father, Laertes.
Impossible romance? I dare say.
Yet one of tho most human stories
ever told.
Copyright, 1919, by tho Post Publishing
Co. (Tho Beaton Post). Copyright In tha
United Kingdom, the Dominions, Its .Col
onics and dependencies, under tho copy
right act. by the Post Publishing Co.,
Boston, Mass., U. 8. A. All rights re
served. Wardrobe Mystery Solved.
A Chinese government representa
tive who was new to American ways
came to the home of an eminent New
York banker for a week's visit. It
wns winter, but he came without bag
gage, and yet every day ho appeared
at dinner with a change of garments.
At first his hostess wondered how
ho managed It, but soon sho discov
ered that his body was his trunk, nnd
that Instead of putting his clothes Into
a trunk, he put his trunk Into his
clothes.
His garments wero like tho layers of
an onion, except that nny layer might
bo worn on tho outside, and ns some
of his gowns for such they might be
called were of silk, lined with fur, or
fur lined with silk, he could wear them
either side out, at will.
Gentle Hinting.
He Those dramatists nro always
making their lovers propose In tho
same old way.
She Well, anyhow, they do propose
nnd that's the mala thing.
it's toasted, of
course. To seal
in the fiavor-
,
(
O'JhujL-ivettaetr'y M '
Catch of Cod in Norway.
The catcii tC cod In Norway for the
season just ended Is greater than In
any one of the preceding four yenrs.
However, the value of the catch was
about 22,000,000 crowns, ns compared
with a value of 45,000,000 crowns for
the 1920 season. Tho totnl number of
fish caught in 1021 was 30,000,000; the
1020 catch totaled .18.S00.000. The
selling price is considerably lower nnd
the high cost of equipment nnd oils
makes the profit less than average.
Tin operating expenses were at the
same level as during tho war.
Cutlcura for Pimply Faces.
To remove pimples and blackheads
smear them with Cutlcura Ointment.
Wash ofi in five minutes with Cutl
cura Soap and hot water. Once clear
keep your skin clear by using them for
dally toilet purposes. Don't fall to In
clude Cutlcura Talcum. Advertisement.
Effect of Floods in the Potomac
The volume of water In the
mnc river which flows past Washing
ton is sometimes 230 times as great
In flood ns at low water.
Nothing so ennobles a man as to
have soma woman believe in his no
bility. Weak and Miserable?
Docs the least exertion tire you out?
Feel "blue" and worried and have daily
backache, lameness, headaches, dizzi
ness, and kidney irregularities? Sicl:
kidneys nro often to blame for this un
happy state. You must act quickly to
prevent more serious trouble. Use
Doan's KidnC Pills, the remedy rec
ommended everywhere by grateful
users. Ask your neighbor!
A South Dakota Case
Mrs. J. C. Hor
ner, 807 Washing
ton Ave.. Madison.
S. D., says: "My
kidneys were weak
and I had bad
pains In my baclc
nnd through my
loins. I was often
bothered with diz
ziness and head
aches. My kidneys
acted irregularly,
so when I heard
about Doan's Kid
ney Pills, I used
thnm. Dnn.n'H nnnn
rid mo of the aches arid pains in my
back and I waa tree from all kidney
trouble."
Get Doan'a at Any Storo, 60c a Bos
DOAN'S "pTJLV
FOSTER.MILBURN CO., BUFFALO, N. Y.
Women
Made Young
Bright eyes, a clear skin and a body
full of youth and health may be
yours if you will keep your system
in order by regularly taking
C0LDMEML
Tho world's standard remedy for kidney,
liver, butdder and uric add troubles, tho
enemies of life and looks. In use since
1636. All druggists, three sizes. -v
Look for tie name Cold Medal on every to
and accept no Imitation
EASY TO KILL
RATS
and .
mice)
ByviV&,cAi, STEARNS'
ELECTRIC PASTE
Raarfy for U Battor Than Trans
WrecUanaUiiUBgMelnerrTtox.
muaja. atftttw,' MUettU Puti forcea Ue pasta
to run boa U ballilo for wur iSaJrelS TatrT
UoioiUM. "Moaerbaekiflttella."
V. H. aorarsaaaat bsja It.
u.imt Em
Mr
.-y
IC. 'rtV'
poto-; af