Dakota County herald. (Dakota City, Neb.) 1891-1965, February 24, 1921, Image 6
DAKOTA COUNTY HERALD s I & Asp,r,n Then It IS Warning! Unless you see the name "Bayer" on tablets, you are not getting genuine Aspirin prescribed by physicians for 21 years and proved safe by millions. Accept only an "unbroken package" of "Bayer Tablets of Aspirin," which contains proper directions for Colds, Headache, Pain, Toothache, Neuralgia, Rheumatism, Neuritis. Lumbago. Handy tin boxen of 12 tablet coit but a frjw centa Larger packages. Aoptrtn ! Ut trmU mark at Drr Manufacture of MonoaMtlcaclAMtar of SaUoyllcacM Short and Pungent Mr. II. J. Jennings, once editor or Uiq Hlrmlngliuin Mull, clnlms to have written Hit shortest dramatic criticism over penned: "Last night a play culled Pure an Snow' was produced nt the Ulnnk theater. It Ih not an pure hh snow." IIIh assertion lins been dis puted, mid n correspondent nttrlliutcH the following very brief notice to an American critic: "A play by Ulysses S was played last night. Heaven will Judge hm." Equnlly pointed was a criticism which once appeared In n Manchester Journal : "Last night Mr. V 's play wiih produced. Quite a number of people stayed to the end." Luck and work aro twins. When Children are Sickly nro ConaUpated, Feverish, Cry out In their (drop, Take cold easily, llnvo Headaches, Btoruuch or Bowel trouble, Try MOTHER CRAY'S SWEET POWDERS FOR CHILDREN tbaus mauk Thoy ore pleasant to tako And a oertnln rollof. Thoy net on tho Stomach, Liver and liowels nud tend to correct intestinal disorders. 10,000 testimonials from mothors nnd friouds of little onos tolling of relief. No mother should bo without a box of Mother Gray's Bwoet Powders for uso whon needed. Atk toiay. At Druggists. The neod of them often coraos at Inconvenient hours. Vavil by Mathers for over thirty yanra. Do Not Accept Any Substitute (or 510TOER GRAY'S SWEET POWDERS, EMPLOYED "N0M DE PHONE" I Few People Will Blame Mr. Kraember- llcht for Pressing John Henry 8mlth Into Use. "Is Mr. Smith In?" Inquired the vis. Itor nt tho olllco of a Newark business man. "Mr. Smith? Mr. Smith? I tlbn't think we Imvo any person by that name," replied the ofllcu boy. "John Henry Smith was the name," said tho caller. "Ho gnvo It to me over tho telephone." "Were you looking for John Henry Smith?" Inquired a member of the Ann who was passing by. "Yon want to seo our Mr. Ivrneinberllcht. Tills Is a new olllco hoy, and he Is not aware that John Henry Smith Is tho tele phone name of Mr. ICraemberllcht. Mr. Kracniborllcht found that It was Im possible to mnkw any one understand his name over the telephone, so he sim plified It to John Henry Smith. A noin do phono." "I Bee," said tho visitor. "You might also call It a phonoy name." Newark Sunday Call. Prolonging It. "Two heads aro bettor than ono." "But some lecturers want nbout six hoads to n discourse." Don't wear out your welcome; It is difficult to replnce. Choice Parts of Selected Grains give to Grape Nuts its health and body-building value This wheat and malted barley food is so processed and baked that the nourishing Qualities and pleas ing flavor are fully brought out HealthfiiI-Satisfying-7ierei a Reason Genuine Thirty Days. An athletic young fellow In Aus tralia went on a tear and landed In the police court. Tho magistrate In quired what tin,1 prisoner's occupation was. "He's a professional footbnll play er," said his counsel. "lie plays out side right for his team," "Oh, ho does, does be?" replied tho magistrate; "well, then, we must change bis position. He'll bo left In side for the next month." You Tell 'Em. Hess They also serve who only stand and wait. Hob True. In fact, that kind aro always serving; newer bossing. IN BVERY STABLE SpohiVs Distemper Compound Ih tho one lndlnpenuablo remedy for contuirloua and lnfctloun (linemen ntnonit linrnfln nnil mules, Un nuccr-im hm a jiroventlvn una cure for DIHTKMriCH, 1'IWC KYIS, COUUIIrl nn.t COI.DH for mora thun twenty. U yoam la th hlitliont tribute .to ltd merit an u medicine. It Is emloroed liy tho tent liaracmen und live. Btock mon In America, lluy It of your drucKlot. 60 centa and 11,15 per bottle. HI'OIIN MKIIIOAr. CO., (lotlien, Intl., U. H. A. SIMPLE ROAD TO HAPPINESS As Benevolent Old Gentleman Pointed Out, Desired Result Might Easily Bo Attained. Tho beautiful young woman, dressed in fashion's most pronounced stylo, entered tho street car and sat besldo a rather benevolent-looking old man. As the enr started she happened to glaneo out the window at a bunch of little girls playing on the sidewalk. "Don't they look happy," sho gushed. "Hut no wonder. Why, I remember my happiest days were when I used to wear short, little gingham drest.es." Now, (ho man hml seen her enter tho car, and ho was well Informed nbout tho length of the dress slid was wear ing, so there was no mistaking his hint. "You might try glnghnm Instead of tho silk you're now wearing," bo suggested. Knew All About It. There was a small passageway he tween the dining room and kitchen In Frederick's house that was recently (It tod nut for use us a breakfast room. One day at school Frederick's teach er bin) occasion to ask If anyone knew what a "nook" was. Frederick, with tho new brenkfast room In mind, answered: "It's a place where you out breakfast to keep tho dining room clean." M&QtQMtrtrWrtWr&ttGGGFfl CONDENSED CLASSICS CONISTON -'"- ? dfi By WINSTON CHURCHILL $ Condensation by .. Hon. Samuel W McCall, ex-Gov- ernor of Massachusetts X LVM:"X-x-:w-:-::-w-:-w-:-teji Winston Church Ill, tvliom we per linpn Hliould call AmrrlcnniiM, to IlMtlnKulnh h 1 in from tlie lively Hon of Lord Itnn iliilph Churchill who bourn the nninc name of W'lnntoii, wiih born nt St. I.oiiIm Nov. 10, 1871, though IiIm father vrn of I'ortlnnil, Me. He vrn edticntetl nt Smith ncnilcm', .St. Ioiiln, hml Kriiiluiileil from the United Stolen .N'nvnl iicnilcmy In J Kill. '1'he name 3 cur found IiIm nil editor of tin; Army n nil Tinvy Journnl' the next year he yytin iminiiKliiK ed itor of the Conninpollttiii nuiKiiilne) In 1IMKI nnil 11)03 he mhn ii inemlicr of the rVciv IIiimiiHhlre li'Klxlntitrr, und In 1110(1 lie wan rtiiinliiK for uuwrimr of thnt iitate nit the eiiiidldntc of the Lincoln lleiitihllciui eluli on u reform platform, flRhlliiK n vnllunt linttle to down the polttlcnl prncllcen which hml irroiTn to lie time-honored, If nothlni; clue, In thnt Ntnte. Some of the lenderM of the Demoerntlc party fully rrniKnlied the Rood he wn uttemptliif; to nccoinpIlNh In thin early proKrennlvc movement, hut the fnet that he wn not n native of the ntate, vrnn u newcomer In poll den, nud wan ntrlvliiR for Idenn which were novel nnil thoroughly dlnt.rennlnB to polltlelnnn of Ioiir experience pre vented IiIh nuceenn with the Itepubllc nnn. l'ollllc-n, however, hnve not been rutlrrly the name In the ntate rtlncel nnil an an ediieatlon for a writer an polltlrnl nuhjectn hln experience could he cnllcd laboratory cournen. CONISTON was n smnll village upon a shelf on a mountain side, commanding ono of the gorgeous views characteristic of n lit tle commonwealth which has mnny n lnrcor sister state, but none worthier. The politics of the place was under tho control of the Church pnrty, which something more than three-n.uarters of a century ago held nway over many of the towns of New England. But tho career of "Old Hickory" was giv ing n new Impulse to democracy and portended little good to any ruling class, whntovcr its virtues. AH that was needed was a lender and ono was found In a young man nnmed Jethro Unss, who was tho son of n well-to-do, tanner. Jethro Inherited from his fa ther u snug little fortune, but his edu cation had been almost wholly neg lected. Ho skillfully made use of the rising discontent by nppenls to ambi tion nnd personal Interest. It became clear that the ruling pnrty was to be challenged at tho coming town meet ing and so presumptuous n thing stirred society to its depths. The spiritual leader of tho Church ' party wns tho clergymnn. His lovely I (laughter, Cynthln, filled n largo place in the eyes of Jethro nnd sho wns drawn to him by the unmlstnkablo signs of power npparent under bis awkward exterior. They used some times to meet by chance, and, unlike ns thoy woro In point of cultivation, they woro really very much In love wltli each other, n clrcutnstanco thnt had rntlicr to bo Inferred becnuso Jeth ro was little likely to exerclso the Initiative and say anything nbout it. Once when In Boston lie bought a beautiful locket und had engrnved upon it "Cynthln from Jethro," but he never mustered up tho courage to pre sent It. When tho political tempest wns rising Cynthln, who sympathized strongly with her father's party, de cided to go to Jethro and plead with him to stop the light. Before he know her purposo he broke his silence nnd declared his love. Perhaps if ho hntl been given n clinnco for rellectlon nnd had not been so upset by his own confession ho would have granted her request, but thnt did not seem possi ble nt the moment. Cynthia took his refusal ns n decree of separation; nnd she left him never to see him again and ho set out upon tho enreer which ended In his becoming tho uncrowned king of tho state. The town meeting light went on nnd Jethro was chosen llrst selectmnn. the only olllco ho ever held nnd In which ho continued for 5511 years. Cynthln went to Boston, where sho became teacher in a high school, and In tho courso of time innrrled William Weth erlll, tho clerk who had sold Jethro tho locket. Sho first learned nbout tho loeket from her husbnnd nnd con fessed to htm her lovo for Jethro, After a few years she died, leaving u llttlo girl who horn her name. Weth erlll moved to Conlston, tnklng young Cynthln with him, and went to keep lng tho vlllngo store. In tho years thnt hnd gono by Jethro had found Conlston too smnll nnd wns engaged In carrying on tho govern ment of tho stnto. Ho hnd his llcutcn nnts In every county und possessed such nn organization thnt ho wns able to solect most of tho men who held tho Urrportnnt olllces nud to control their nctli.ni afterwards. In brief, ho be came tho "Boss" of tho stuto nnd peo ple who desired legislation or ofllces found It necessary to visit him, Avn nw did not soem to bo tho motive which controlled him. Bnllroads were being built, mnnufucturlng developed, nnd ho took prldo In making himself Indlspcnsnblo in what was going on. When llttlo Cynthln nppearcd nt Con lston ho nt once loved her ns ho would have loved his own daughter. Her father was unablo to meet his obliga tions nt tho bank. Jethro quietly bought tho mortgage nnd had It as signed to himself. Cynthia used to call him Undo Jethro nnd loved him as sho 'did her fntlier. After a tlmo tho railroad corpora tions decided to consolidate. Jethro, whether ho feared that thoy would be come too large for the state, or for him, did not approve of consolidation. Thereupon they decided to overthrow him. The fight begnn over his home post office. He wns known to favor an old soldier named Eph Prescott who hnd been badly wounded in the Wil derness nnd whom he had helped In his uphill fight as he had helped many another person. Tho railroad party de cided to defeat Jethro's candidate in order to weaken his prestige In tho stnto, nnd It had tho support of many men who had formerly done his "'bid ding and of tho "congressman from tho district," tho usual nutocrat In the distribution of olllces of that class. Jethro went to Washington nnd con trived to have an nppnrently chance meeting between President Grant and Eph. Grant wns nttrncted by Eph's simplicity. They talked over tho bat tle they had fought together with a modesty which furnished another in stance that tho noisiest patriots aro not always the greatest. Grnnt ap pointed Eph. When tho news of tho victory reached homo, Jethro's pres tige was much incrensed. Ho placed Cynthia in a finishing school In Boston. Being a young wom an of high spirit Bhe was not happy there. The fact that she camo from n remote country place and of nn un known fnmlly, very likely had some thing to do with the trentment she re ceived in those primitive days before finishing schools hnd been made whol ly safe for democracy. One day a pa per controlled by Isaac Worthlngton, the head of tho corporation party, made a savnge attack upon Jethro as n lobbyist nnd n "boss." Tho paper found Its way Into Cynthia's hands nnd gnve her the greatest distress. Sho went to Jethro nnd nsked him If tho story wns true, no said: "Thoy hain't put it just ns they'd ought to perhaps, but that's tho way I done it in the main." His manly confes sion caused her to lovo him even more than before. Sho withdrew from tho finishing school nnd went to tench in Brampton, the town In which Worth lngton lived. Jethro, shaken by tho effect on Cynthln, determined to with draw from politics. Tho stnto was in a ferment. Would tho corporations be able to down Jeth ro? For the first time in nearly 40 yenrs Jothro did not appear nt tho Conlston town meeting. The onemy won by default. The npws heartened tho corporations everywhere. Worth lngton hnd always been nn enemy of Jethro's, although ho had accepted his help more than once, nnd while In dulging In very virtuous speeches, hnd practiced essentially the snmo meth ods. Ills son, Bob, wns madly in lovo with Cynthln, but sho subordinated her own love for Bob completely to her fidelity to Jethro. Bob proposed to her nnd she refused. Ho declared thnt ho would leave, Ills father and earn his own living nnd then clnim her on account of what he had him self done, no wrote his father tell ing him Ids purpose. When the latter received the letter he flow 110 rage. Learning that Cynthia wns a teacher In his own town, he called the commit tee together, tho mnjority of whom ha controlled, nnd hnd them pnss a voto Ignomlnlously dismissing her from tho school. This action aroused Jethro nnd he straightway took up tho battlo again against tho corporation magnato responsible tor the outrage. Ho swooped down upon tho capltol llko an eagle, nis genius for political gen eralshlp Hashed out with Its old-tlmo brightness. Messnges went to tho val ley towns nnd to tho north country. The "throne room" wns open again, nnd although tho hnttle had been npl parently lost through Jethro's wlth drawal, it became evident thnt tho corporations were destined to defeat. Flnnlly Worthlngton was willing to surrender nnd asked Jethro's terms. Jothro snld, "Consent to the mnrrlngo of Cynthln nnd Bob." Worthlngton com piled In some high flown letters and tho mnrrlngo took plnce. Jethro with drew from the tight nnd from politics nnd passed his old ago near Cynthln, blessed by her love nnd thnt of her children. (With apologies to air. Win ston Churchill). Copyright, 1919. by the Post PubllshJns F,0,..(T.h?..,,0,,,on ,,ost)- CopyrlRht In tho United Klnsilom, tho Dominions, Its Col onles and dependencies, under tho copy. rlKht net. by tho Post Publishing Co., Hoston, Muss., U. S. A. All rUhts re sorved. Condensed trom "Conlston." by Winston Churchill, copyrlRht, 1906, by The Mncinlllan Company. Used by per. mission of author nnd publisher. Real Chill Con Carne. Tho man who hunted all over China to no avail for n dish of chop suoy, and Inter remarked that tho reason ho liked tho Hawaiian Islands was becnuso there wero no ukuleles thero, would ndd to his store of knowl edge by going to Mexico, bo causo he might scour tho repub lic and would never find, native made, such "chili con carne,"'ns Amer icans bellcvo Is u Slexlcan dietary staple. Tho soupy mlxturo of ground meat and beans, colored with chill peppers, is unknown there. "Chill con carnu" (chill with meat) is n common dish, but it consists merely of pieces of meat flavored with chill. Beans aro not an Ingredient HEAD STUFFED FROM CATARRH OR A COLD Says Cream Applied In Nostrils Opens Air Passages Right Up. Instant relief no wnltlng. Your 'ilogged nostrils open right up; the air passages of your head clear and you can breathe freely. No more hawking, snuffling, blowing, hendache, dryness. J No struggling for breath at night; your cold or catarrh disappears. Get a small bottle of Ely's Cream Balm from your druggist now. Apply a little of this fragrant, antiseptic, healing cream in your nostrils. It pen etrates through every passage of tho head, soothes the inflamed or swollen mucous membrane and relief comes In tuntly.' It's Just fine. Don't stay stuffed-up with a cold or nasty catarrh. Adv. Advanced Backwards. ' Speaking about great retreats, the German nrmy pulled off ono that ranks with tho best. Tho largo town of Eanehonvllle, won by the Germans In their first drive, be came a headquarters for the three suc ceeding years. In the meantime they udvnnced a dozen miles further. Then came the inevitable. Beset by l'nnk, Tommy nnd Pollu, they were obliged to turn their faces back toward Germany. Feeling, however, that an orderly retreat would wreak havoc with tho men's morale, tho general, In a llasli of Inspiration, posted this or der: "Advance nt once to the renr und retake Fanchonvllle." American Le gion Weekly. RUB RHEUMATIC PAIN FROM ACHING JOINTS Rub Pain rtght out with small trial bottle of old "St. Jacobs Oil." Stop "dosing" Rheumatism. It's pain only; not one case In fifty requires internnl trentment. Rub soothing, penetrating "St. Jucobs Oil" right on the "tender spot," nnd by the time you suy Jack Robinson out comes the rheumatic pain and distress. "St. Jncob's OH" Is a harmless rheu matism liniment which never disap points nnd doesn't burn the skin. It takes pnln, soreness and stiffness from aching Joints, muscles and bones; stops sciatica, lumbngo, backache and neuralgia. Limber up I Get a small trlul bottlo of old-time, honest "St. Jncobs Oil" from uny drug store, and in n moment, you'll be free from pains, aches nnd stiffness. Don't sutrer! Rub rheuma tism away. Adv. Polar Bear Can Swim. The Polar bear Is as line u swim mer ns u seal, nnd behaves, In tho Ice-cold seas of the north, with as much unconcern ns though It had been born In that element, writes Dr. It. W, Shufeldt In tho Amerlcnn Forestry Magazine. It has been known to drift for miles upon n flontlng iceberg, and this evidently for pleasure and con venience, rather than from necessity, ns a number of Arctic explorers imvo reported hnvlng seen Polnr bears, hale and henrty, swimming In the open ocean all the way from 40 to SO miles from Intnl. Important to Mothers Examine carefully every bottle of CASTORIA, that famous old remedy for Infants and children, and see that It Tlnnrn fh Signature ot&LrZ&j2Zr In Use for Over 80 Years. Children Cry for Fletcher's Caatoria Canada's Fuel Resources. The fuel resources of Canada aro sit uated In the extremo enst and west and tho western part of Alberta; the lignite coals are situated In the prov inces of Alberln nnd Saskatchewan, but lying between the limits of these deposits Is n great stretch of territory devoid of coal measured by economic value. The 12,000 square mllos of peat bogs are situated In this area. Kill That Cold With CASCARA D QUININE c5h&& FOR Colds, Coughs Neglected Colds aro Dangerous Take no chances. Keep this standard remedy handy for the first sneaze. Breaks up a cold in 24 hours Relieves) Grippo in 3 days Excellent for Headachy Quinine In this form doss not affect Xho head Caocara la txat Tonic Laxative No Opiate in Hill's. ALL DRUGGISTS SELL IT rrrCrrr. Skin Sufferers Want Mere Temporary Relief .reyHfyyy Of course, if you aro content to have onlr temporary relief from the torrliyine itching- and burning of fiery, flaming' skin diseases, then you are satisfied to remain a slavo to ointments, lotions and other lo cal remedies applied to tho surfaco of the skin. Real genuine relief from ecrema, tetter, scaly eruptions or any other form of skin irritations cannot be expected until you free your blood of the germs which cause these disorders. And for this purpose Has Your Back Given Out? Are you dragging along with a dull, throbbing backache? Do you feel lama in the morning; suffer sharp twinges at every sudden move? Then there's something wrongl You may never have suspected your kidneys, yet often it's the kidneys kthat are at fault. You may have headaches and dizzy spells, too. Use Doan'8 Kidney Pills. They have helped thousands and should help you. Ask your neighbor! A South Dakota Case "fttfyfkfitt. Mrs. E. L. DeMolt, Springfield, S. D says: "I had an at tack of kidney trou ble. My back was lame nn I had a dull pain In tho small of my back nnd telt mis erable. I had nervous spells and tho back and top of my head pained. I used Doan's Kidney Fills and was relieved in every way." Itus l Mtrr Gt Doan's at Any Store, 60c a Bos DOAN'S "pTJLY FOSTER. MILBURN CO., BUFFALO, N. Y. Cuticura Soap The Velvet Touch For the Skin Soap 25c, Ointment 25 sod 50c, Talcum 25c. rnrntl TO positively removed brrT,BiTT-' 1-Kt-I.Kl S- rrtl OtotoiMtYoor diinlot or br I IlCUriLLlJ "11. " FrMbook. Or. C.H. Berry 1 IlkUllbkU Co.,27SMkhlnAvtnu,ChlcgM Shrinking at Both Ends. Laura Bromwell, tho noted alr-wom an, said at Mlneoln the other day: "In the past It was considered Im modest for a girl to wear riding; breeches, but riding breeches seem con servative and even reactionary besldi? tho evening gowns thnt are being shown. "A society girl complained at dinner the other night: " 'I've written the modiste, but hero's another day gone by without her send ing home my now ball dross. " 'Perhaps,' growled tho society girl's father 'perhaps you neglected to Inclose n stamped and directed en velope.'" Detroit Free Press. WOMEN! USE "DIAMOND DYES'? Dye Old Skirts, Dresses, Waists, Coats, Stockings, Draperies Everything. Each pnekage of "Diamond Dyes' contains easy directions for dyeing any article of wool, silk, cotton, linen, or mlxed goods. Beware I Poor dyo streaks, spots, fades, nnd ruins mate rial by giving it a "dyed-look." Buy "Diamond Dyes" only.' Druggist has Color Card. Adv. Mu6t Have Been. "He went across to the fireplace and stood with his bnck to Its warmth, stnring into the lire with unseeing: eyes. From a popular magazine. Obviously the poor fellow's hencJ was turned. London Punch. Many More Would Testify Onawa, Iowa. "I know that Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription has helped mo a great deal. I have had no return of fominine trouble at all and It is over a. year since I stopped taking the rt shall rer ommond It whenever I have a. chanco." MRS. H. C. VETTER. Favorite Proscription contains no alcohol. Get It at tho drug store or send 10c to Dr. Pierce's Invalids" Hotel, Buffalo, N. Y for a trial pkg. AND La Grippe Mv Do Not there i3 no remedy that gives more satisfactory results than S.S.H., the fine old blood remedy that goes down to tho source of every blood disorder and routs out the germs which causo the trouble SJ3.S. is sold by all druggists. Bogln taking it today, nnd if yon will write a complete history of your caso, our medical director will give you expert advico without charge. Address Chief Medical Ad viser, 155 Swift Laboratory, Atlan ta, Ga. A Vh'i k f ri h r r i: - n f i 'o !