DAKOTA COUNTY HERALD
s
I &
Asp,r,n
Then
It IS
Warning! Unless you see the name "Bayer" on tablets,
you are not getting genuine Aspirin prescribed by
physicians for 21 years and proved safe by millions.
Accept only an "unbroken package" of "Bayer Tablets of
Aspirin," which contains proper directions for Colds, Headache,
Pain, Toothache, Neuralgia, Rheumatism, Neuritis. Lumbago.
Handy tin boxen of 12 tablet coit but a frjw centa Larger packages.
Aoptrtn ! Ut trmU mark at Drr Manufacture of MonoaMtlcaclAMtar of SaUoyllcacM
Short and Pungent
Mr. II. J. Jennings, once editor or
Uiq Hlrmlngliuin Mull, clnlms to have
written Hit shortest dramatic criticism
over penned: "Last night a play culled
Pure an Snow' was produced nt the
Ulnnk theater. It Ih not an pure hh
snow." IIIh assertion lins been dis
puted, mid n correspondent nttrlliutcH
the following very brief notice to an
American critic: "A play by Ulysses
S was played last night. Heaven
will Judge hm." Equnlly pointed was
a criticism which once appeared In n
Manchester Journal : "Last night Mr.
V 's play wiih produced. Quite a
number of people stayed to the end."
Luck and work aro twins.
When Children are Sickly
nro ConaUpated, Feverish, Cry out In their (drop, Take cold
easily, llnvo Headaches, Btoruuch or Bowel trouble, Try
MOTHER CRAY'S
SWEET POWDERS
FOR CHILDREN
tbaus mauk
Thoy ore pleasant to tako And a oertnln rollof. Thoy net on tho Stomach,
Liver and liowels nud tend to correct intestinal disorders. 10,000 testimonials
from mothors nnd friouds of little onos tolling of relief. No mother should bo
without a box of Mother Gray's Bwoet Powders for uso whon needed. Atk
toiay. At Druggists. The neod of them often coraos at Inconvenient hours.
Vavil by Mathers for over thirty yanra.
Do Not Accept Any Substitute (or 510TOER GRAY'S SWEET POWDERS,
EMPLOYED "N0M DE PHONE" I
Few People Will Blame Mr. Kraember-
llcht for Pressing John Henry
8mlth Into Use.
"Is Mr. Smith In?" Inquired the vis.
Itor nt tho olllco of a Newark business
man.
"Mr. Smith? Mr. Smith? I tlbn't
think we Imvo any person by that
name," replied the ofllcu boy.
"John Henry Smith was the name,"
said tho caller. "Ho gnvo It to me
over tho telephone."
"Were you looking for John Henry
Smith?" Inquired a member of the
Ann who was passing by. "Yon want
to seo our Mr. Ivrneinberllcht. Tills Is
a new olllco hoy, and he Is not aware
that John Henry Smith Is tho tele
phone name of Mr. ICraemberllcht. Mr.
Kracniborllcht found that It was Im
possible to mnkw any one understand
his name over the telephone, so he sim
plified It to John Henry Smith. A
noin do phono."
"I Bee," said tho visitor. "You might
also call It a phonoy name." Newark
Sunday Call.
Prolonging It.
"Two heads aro bettor than ono."
"But some lecturers want nbout six
hoads to n discourse."
Don't wear out your welcome; It is
difficult to replnce.
Choice Parts of Selected Grains
give to
Grape Nuts
its health and body-building value
This wheat and malted barley food
is so processed and baked that the
nourishing Qualities and pleas
ing flavor are fully brought out
HealthfiiI-Satisfying-7ierei a Reason
Genuine
Thirty Days.
An athletic young fellow In Aus
tralia went on a tear and landed In
the police court. Tho magistrate In
quired what tin,1 prisoner's occupation
was.
"He's a professional footbnll play
er," said his counsel. "lie plays out
side right for his team,"
"Oh, ho does, does be?" replied tho
magistrate; "well, then, we must
change bis position. He'll bo left In
side for the next month."
You Tell 'Em.
Hess They also serve who only
stand and wait.
Hob True. In fact, that kind aro
always serving; newer bossing.
IN BVERY STABLE
SpohiVs Distemper Compound
Ih tho one lndlnpenuablo remedy for contuirloua and lnfctloun
(linemen ntnonit linrnfln nnil mules, Un nuccr-im hm a jiroventlvn
una cure for DIHTKMriCH, 1'IWC KYIS, COUUIIrl nn.t COI.DH
for mora thun twenty. U yoam la th hlitliont tribute .to ltd
merit an u medicine. It Is emloroed liy tho tent liaracmen und
live. Btock mon In America, lluy It of your drucKlot. 60 centa
and 11,15 per bottle.
HI'OIIN MKIIIOAr. CO., (lotlien, Intl., U. H. A.
SIMPLE ROAD TO HAPPINESS
As Benevolent Old Gentleman Pointed
Out, Desired Result Might Easily
Bo Attained.
Tho beautiful young woman, dressed
in fashion's most pronounced stylo,
entered tho street car and sat besldo
a rather benevolent-looking old man.
As the enr started she happened to
glaneo out the window at a bunch of
little girls playing on the sidewalk.
"Don't they look happy," sho
gushed. "Hut no wonder. Why, I
remember my happiest days were when
I used to wear short, little gingham
drest.es."
Now, (ho man hml seen her enter tho
car, and ho was well Informed nbout
tho length of the dress slid was wear
ing, so there was no mistaking his
hint. "You might try glnghnm Instead
of tho silk you're now wearing," bo
suggested.
Knew All About It.
There was a small passageway he
tween the dining room and kitchen In
Frederick's house that was recently
(It tod nut for use us a breakfast room.
One day at school Frederick's teach
er bin) occasion to ask If anyone knew
what a "nook" was.
Frederick, with tho new brenkfast
room In mind, answered: "It's a
place where you out breakfast to keep
tho dining room clean."
M&QtQMtrtrWrtWr&ttGGGFfl
CONDENSED
CLASSICS
CONISTON -'"- ?
dfi
By WINSTON CHURCHILL $
Condensation by ..
Hon. Samuel W McCall, ex-Gov-
ernor of Massachusetts X
LVM:"X-x-:w-:-::-w-:-w-:-teji
Winston Church
Ill, tvliom we per
linpn Hliould call
AmrrlcnniiM, to
IlMtlnKulnh h 1 in
from tlie lively
Hon of Lord Itnn
iliilph Churchill
who bourn the
nninc name of
W'lnntoii, wiih born
nt St. I.oiiIm Nov.
10, 1871, though
IiIm father vrn of
I'ortlnnil, Me. He
vrn edticntetl nt
Smith ncnilcm',
.St. Ioiiln, hml
Kriiiluiileil from
the United Stolen
.N'nvnl iicnilcmy In
J Kill. '1'he name
3 cur found IiIm nil
editor of tin; Army
n nil Tinvy Journnl'
the next year he
yytin iminiiKliiK ed
itor of the Conninpollttiii nuiKiiilne) In
1IMKI nnil 11)03 he mhn ii inemlicr of the
rVciv IIiimiiHhlre li'Klxlntitrr, und In 1110(1
lie wan rtiiinliiK for uuwrimr of thnt
iitate nit the eiiiidldntc of the Lincoln
lleiitihllciui eluli on u reform platform,
flRhlliiK n vnllunt linttle to down the
polttlcnl prncllcen which hml irroiTn to
lie time-honored, If nothlni; clue, In
thnt Ntnte. Some of the lenderM of the
Demoerntlc party fully rrniKnlied the
Rood he wn uttemptliif; to nccoinpIlNh
In thin early proKrennlvc movement,
hut the fnet that he wn not n native
of the ntate, vrnn u newcomer In poll
den, nud wan ntrlvliiR for Idenn which
were novel nnil thoroughly dlnt.rennlnB
to polltlelnnn of Ioiir experience pre
vented IiIh nuceenn with the Itepubllc
nnn. l'ollllc-n, however, hnve not been
rutlrrly the name In the ntate rtlncel
nnil an an ediieatlon for a writer an
polltlrnl nuhjectn hln experience could
he cnllcd laboratory cournen.
CONISTON was n smnll village
upon a shelf on a mountain
side, commanding ono of the
gorgeous views characteristic of n lit
tle commonwealth which has mnny n
lnrcor sister state, but none worthier.
The politics of the place was under
tho control of the Church pnrty, which
something more than three-n.uarters of
a century ago held nway over many
of the towns of New England. But
tho career of "Old Hickory" was giv
ing n new Impulse to democracy and
portended little good to any ruling
class, whntovcr its virtues. AH that
was needed was a lender and ono was
found In a young man nnmed Jethro
Unss, who was tho son of n well-to-do,
tanner. Jethro Inherited from his fa
ther u snug little fortune, but his edu
cation had been almost wholly neg
lected. Ho skillfully made use of the
rising discontent by nppenls to ambi
tion nnd personal Interest. It became
clear that the ruling pnrty was to be
challenged at tho coming town meet
ing and so presumptuous n thing
stirred society to its depths.
The spiritual leader of tho Church
' party wns tho clergymnn. His lovely
I (laughter, Cynthln, filled n largo place
in the eyes of Jethro nnd sho wns
drawn to him by the unmlstnkablo
signs of power npparent under bis
awkward exterior. They used some
times to meet by chance, and, unlike
ns thoy woro In point of cultivation,
they woro really very much In love
wltli each other, n clrcutnstanco thnt
had rntlicr to bo Inferred becnuso Jeth
ro was little likely to exerclso the
Initiative and say anything nbout it.
Once when In Boston lie bought a
beautiful locket und had engrnved
upon it "Cynthln from Jethro," but he
never mustered up tho courage to pre
sent It. When tho political tempest
wns rising Cynthln, who sympathized
strongly with her father's party, de
cided to go to Jethro and plead with
him to stop the light. Before he
know her purposo he broke his silence
nnd declared his love. Perhaps if ho
hntl been given n clinnco for rellectlon
nnd had not been so upset by his own
confession ho would have granted her
request, but thnt did not seem possi
ble nt the moment. Cynthia took his
refusal ns n decree of separation; nnd
she left him never to see him again
and ho set out upon tho enreer which
ended In his becoming tho uncrowned
king of tho state.
The town meeting light went on nnd
Jethro was chosen llrst selectmnn. the
only olllco ho ever held nnd In which
ho continued for 5511 years. Cynthln
went to Boston, where sho became
teacher in a high school, and In tho
courso of time innrrled William Weth
erlll, tho clerk who had sold Jethro
tho locket. Sho first learned nbout
tho loeket from her husbnnd nnd con
fessed to htm her lovo for Jethro,
After a few years she died, leaving u
llttlo girl who horn her name. Weth
erlll moved to Conlston, tnklng young
Cynthln with him, and went to keep
lng tho vlllngo store.
In tho years thnt hnd gono by Jethro
had found Conlston too smnll nnd wns
engaged In carrying on tho govern
ment of tho stnto. Ho hnd his llcutcn
nnts In every county und possessed
such nn organization thnt ho wns able
to solect most of tho men who held tho
Urrportnnt olllces nud to control their
nctli.ni afterwards. In brief, ho be
came tho "Boss" of tho stuto nnd peo
ple who desired legislation or ofllces
found It necessary to visit him, Avn
nw did not soem to bo tho motive
which controlled him. Bnllroads were
being built, mnnufucturlng developed,
nnd ho took prldo In making himself
Indlspcnsnblo in what was going on.
When llttlo Cynthln nppearcd nt Con
lston ho nt once loved her ns ho would
have loved his own daughter. Her
father was unablo to meet his obliga
tions nt tho bank. Jethro quietly
bought tho mortgage nnd had It as
signed to himself. Cynthia used to
call him Undo Jethro nnd loved him
as sho 'did her fntlier.
After a tlmo tho railroad corpora
tions decided to consolidate. Jethro,
whether ho feared that thoy would be
come too large for the state, or for
him, did not approve of consolidation.
Thereupon they decided to overthrow
him. The fight begnn over his home
post office. He wns known to favor an
old soldier named Eph Prescott who
hnd been badly wounded in the Wil
derness nnd whom he had helped In
his uphill fight as he had helped many
another person. Tho railroad party de
cided to defeat Jethro's candidate in
order to weaken his prestige In tho
stnto, nnd It had tho support of many
men who had formerly done his "'bid
ding and of tho "congressman from
tho district," tho usual nutocrat In the
distribution of olllces of that class.
Jethro went to Washington nnd con
trived to have an nppnrently chance
meeting between President Grant and
Eph. Grant wns nttrncted by Eph's
simplicity. They talked over tho bat
tle they had fought together with a
modesty which furnished another in
stance that tho noisiest patriots aro
not always the greatest. Grnnt ap
pointed Eph. When tho news of tho
victory reached homo, Jethro's pres
tige was much incrensed.
Ho placed Cynthia in a finishing
school In Boston. Being a young wom
an of high spirit Bhe was not happy
there. The fact that she camo from
n remote country place and of nn un
known fnmlly, very likely had some
thing to do with the trentment she re
ceived in those primitive days before
finishing schools hnd been made whol
ly safe for democracy. One day a pa
per controlled by Isaac Worthlngton,
the head of tho corporation party,
made a savnge attack upon Jethro as
n lobbyist nnd n "boss." Tho paper
found Its way Into Cynthia's hands
nnd gnve her the greatest distress.
Sho went to Jethro nnd nsked him If
tho story wns true, no said: "Thoy
hain't put it just ns they'd ought to
perhaps, but that's tho way I done
it in the main." His manly confes
sion caused her to lovo him even more
than before. Sho withdrew from tho
finishing school nnd went to tench in
Brampton, the town In which Worth
lngton lived. Jethro, shaken by tho
effect on Cynthln, determined to with
draw from politics.
Tho stnto was in a ferment. Would
tho corporations be able to down Jeth
ro? For the first time in nearly 40
yenrs Jothro did not appear nt tho
Conlston town meeting. The onemy
won by default. The npws heartened
tho corporations everywhere. Worth
lngton hnd always been nn enemy of
Jethro's, although ho had accepted his
help more than once, nnd while In
dulging In very virtuous speeches, hnd
practiced essentially the snmo meth
ods. Ills son, Bob, wns madly in lovo
with Cynthln, but sho subordinated
her own love for Bob completely to
her fidelity to Jethro. Bob proposed
to her nnd she refused. Ho declared
thnt ho would leave, Ills father and
earn his own living nnd then clnim
her on account of what he had him
self done, no wrote his father tell
ing him Ids purpose. When the latter
received the letter he flow 110 rage.
Learning that Cynthia wns a teacher
In his own town, he called the commit
tee together, tho mnjority of whom ha
controlled, nnd hnd them pnss a voto
Ignomlnlously dismissing her from tho
school. This action aroused Jethro
nnd he straightway took up tho battlo
again against tho corporation magnato
responsible tor the outrage. Ho
swooped down upon tho capltol llko
an eagle, nis genius for political gen
eralshlp Hashed out with Its old-tlmo
brightness. Messnges went to tho val
ley towns nnd to tho north country.
The "throne room" wns open again,
nnd although tho hnttle had been npl
parently lost through Jethro's wlth
drawal, it became evident thnt tho
corporations were destined to defeat.
Flnnlly Worthlngton was willing to
surrender nnd asked Jethro's terms.
Jothro snld, "Consent to the mnrrlngo
of Cynthln nnd Bob." Worthlngton com
piled In some high flown letters and
tho mnrrlngo took plnce. Jethro with
drew from the tight nnd from politics
nnd passed his old ago near Cynthln,
blessed by her love nnd thnt of her
children. (With apologies to air. Win
ston Churchill).
Copyright, 1919. by the Post PubllshJns
F,0,..(T.h?..,,0,,,on ,,ost)- CopyrlRht In tho
United Klnsilom, tho Dominions, Its Col
onles and dependencies, under tho copy.
rlKht net. by tho Post Publishing Co.,
Hoston, Muss., U. S. A. All rUhts re
sorved. Condensed trom "Conlston." by
Winston Churchill, copyrlRht, 1906, by
The Mncinlllan Company. Used by per.
mission of author nnd publisher.
Real Chill Con Carne.
Tho man who hunted all over China
to no avail for n dish of chop suoy,
and Inter remarked that tho reason
ho liked tho Hawaiian Islands was
becnuso there wero no ukuleles thero,
would ndd to his store of knowl
edge by going to Mexico, bo
causo he might scour tho repub
lic and would never find, native
made, such "chili con carne,"'ns Amer
icans bellcvo Is u Slexlcan dietary
staple. Tho soupy mlxturo of ground
meat and beans, colored with chill
peppers, is unknown there.
"Chill con carnu" (chill with meat)
is n common dish, but it consists
merely of pieces of meat flavored with
chill. Beans aro not an Ingredient
HEAD STUFFED FROM
CATARRH OR A COLD
Says Cream Applied In Nostrils Opens
Air Passages Right Up.
Instant relief no wnltlng. Your
'ilogged nostrils open right up; the air
passages of your head clear and you
can breathe freely. No more hawking,
snuffling, blowing, hendache, dryness.
J No struggling for breath at night;
your cold or catarrh disappears.
Get a small bottle of Ely's Cream
Balm from your druggist now. Apply
a little of this fragrant, antiseptic,
healing cream in your nostrils. It pen
etrates through every passage of tho
head, soothes the inflamed or swollen
mucous membrane and relief comes In
tuntly.' It's Just fine. Don't stay stuffed-up
with a cold or nasty catarrh. Adv.
Advanced Backwards.
' Speaking about great retreats, the
German nrmy pulled off ono that ranks
with tho best.
Tho largo town of Eanehonvllle, won
by the Germans In their first drive, be
came a headquarters for the three suc
ceeding years. In the meantime they
udvnnced a dozen miles further.
Then came the inevitable. Beset by
l'nnk, Tommy nnd Pollu, they were
obliged to turn their faces back toward
Germany. Feeling, however, that an
orderly retreat would wreak havoc
with tho men's morale, tho general, In
a llasli of Inspiration, posted this or
der: "Advance nt once to the renr und
retake Fanchonvllle." American Le
gion Weekly.
RUB RHEUMATIC PAIN
FROM ACHING JOINTS
Rub Pain rtght out with small trial
bottle of old "St. Jacobs Oil."
Stop "dosing" Rheumatism.
It's pain only; not one case In fifty
requires internnl trentment. Rub
soothing, penetrating "St. Jucobs Oil"
right on the "tender spot," nnd by the
time you suy Jack Robinson out
comes the rheumatic pain and distress.
"St. Jncob's OH" Is a harmless rheu
matism liniment which never disap
points nnd doesn't burn the skin. It
takes pnln, soreness and stiffness from
aching Joints, muscles and bones;
stops sciatica, lumbngo, backache and
neuralgia.
Limber up I Get a small trlul bottlo
of old-time, honest "St. Jncobs Oil"
from uny drug store, and in n moment,
you'll be free from pains, aches nnd
stiffness. Don't sutrer! Rub rheuma
tism away. Adv.
Polar Bear Can Swim.
The Polar bear Is as line u swim
mer ns u seal, nnd behaves, In tho
Ice-cold seas of the north, with as
much unconcern ns though It had been
born In that element, writes Dr. It.
W, Shufeldt In tho Amerlcnn Forestry
Magazine. It has been known to drift
for miles upon n flontlng iceberg, and
this evidently for pleasure and con
venience, rather than from necessity,
ns a number of Arctic explorers imvo
reported hnvlng seen Polnr bears, hale
and henrty, swimming In the open
ocean all the way from 40 to SO miles
from Intnl.
Important to Mothers
Examine carefully every bottle of
CASTORIA, that famous old remedy
for Infants and children, and see that It
Tlnnrn fh
Signature ot&LrZ&j2Zr
In Use for Over 80 Years.
Children Cry for Fletcher's Caatoria
Canada's Fuel Resources.
The fuel resources of Canada aro sit
uated In the extremo enst and west
and tho western part of Alberta; the
lignite coals are situated In the prov
inces of Alberln nnd Saskatchewan,
but lying between the limits of these
deposits Is n great stretch of territory
devoid of coal measured by economic
value. The 12,000 square mllos of peat
bogs are situated In this area.
Kill That Cold With
CASCARA D QUININE
c5h&&
FOR
Colds, Coughs
Neglected Colds aro Dangerous
Take no chances. Keep this standard remedy handy for the first sneaze.
Breaks up a cold in 24 hours Relieves)
Grippo in 3 days Excellent for Headachy
Quinine In this form doss not affect Xho head Caocara la txat Tonic
Laxative No Opiate in Hill's.
ALL DRUGGISTS SELL IT
rrrCrrr.
Skin Sufferers
Want Mere Temporary Relief
.reyHfyyy
Of course, if you aro content to
have onlr temporary relief from
the torrliyine itching- and burning
of fiery, flaming' skin diseases, then
you are satisfied to remain a slavo
to ointments, lotions and other lo
cal remedies applied to tho surfaco
of the skin.
Real genuine relief from ecrema,
tetter, scaly eruptions or any other
form of skin irritations cannot be
expected until you free your blood
of the germs which cause these
disorders. And for this purpose
Has Your Back Given Out?
Are you dragging along with a dull,
throbbing backache? Do you feel lama
in the morning; suffer sharp twinges
at every sudden move? Then there's
something wrongl You may never
have suspected your kidneys, yet often
it's the kidneys kthat are at fault. You
may have headaches and dizzy spells,
too. Use Doan'8 Kidney Pills. They
have helped thousands and should help
you. Ask your neighbor!
A South Dakota Case
"fttfyfkfitt.
Mrs. E. L. DeMolt,
Springfield, S. D
says: "I had an at
tack of kidney trou
ble. My back was
lame nn I had a dull
pain In tho small of
my back nnd telt mis
erable. I had nervous
spells and tho back
and top of my head
pained. I used Doan's
Kidney Fills and was
relieved in every
way."
Itus l Mtrr
Gt Doan's at Any Store, 60c a Bos
DOAN'S "pTJLY
FOSTER. MILBURN CO., BUFFALO, N. Y.
Cuticura Soap
The Velvet Touch
For the Skin
Soap 25c, Ointment 25 sod 50c, Talcum 25c.
rnrntl TO positively removed brrT,BiTT-'
1-Kt-I.Kl S- rrtl OtotoiMtYoor diinlot or br
I IlCUriLLlJ "11. " FrMbook. Or. C.H. Berry
1 IlkUllbkU Co.,27SMkhlnAvtnu,ChlcgM
Shrinking at Both Ends.
Laura Bromwell, tho noted alr-wom
an, said at Mlneoln the other day:
"In the past It was considered Im
modest for a girl to wear riding;
breeches, but riding breeches seem con
servative and even reactionary besldi?
tho evening gowns thnt are being
shown.
"A society girl complained at dinner
the other night:
" 'I've written the modiste, but hero's
another day gone by without her send
ing home my now ball dross.
" 'Perhaps,' growled tho society
girl's father 'perhaps you neglected
to Inclose n stamped and directed en
velope.'" Detroit Free Press.
WOMEN! USE "DIAMOND DYES'?
Dye Old Skirts, Dresses, Waists,
Coats, Stockings, Draperies
Everything.
Each pnekage of "Diamond Dyes'
contains easy directions for dyeing any
article of wool, silk, cotton, linen, or
mlxed goods. Beware I Poor dyo
streaks, spots, fades, nnd ruins mate
rial by giving it a "dyed-look." Buy
"Diamond Dyes" only.' Druggist has
Color Card. Adv.
Mu6t Have Been.
"He went across to the fireplace and
stood with his bnck to Its warmth,
stnring into the lire with unseeing:
eyes. From a popular magazine.
Obviously the poor fellow's hencJ
was turned. London Punch.
Many More
Would Testify
Onawa, Iowa. "I know that Dr.
Pierce's Favorite Prescription has
helped mo a great
deal. I have had no
return of
fominine
trouble at
all and It
is over a.
year since
I stopped
taking the
rt
shall rer
ommond It whenever I have a.
chanco." MRS. H. C. VETTER.
Favorite Proscription contains no
alcohol. Get It at tho drug store or
send 10c to Dr. Pierce's Invalids"
Hotel, Buffalo, N. Y for a trial pkg.
AND
La Grippe
Mv
Do Not
there i3 no remedy that gives more
satisfactory results than S.S.H., the
fine old blood remedy that goes
down to tho source of every blood
disorder and routs out the germs
which causo the trouble
SJ3.S. is sold by all druggists.
Bogln taking it today, nnd if yon
will write a complete history of
your caso, our medical director will
give you expert advico without
charge. Address Chief Medical Ad
viser, 155 Swift Laboratory, Atlan
ta, Ga.
A Vh'i
k
f ri
h
r
r
i:
-
n
f
i
'o
!
