DAKOTA COUNTY HERALD; DAKOTA CITY, NEBRASKA. S ' i r,; .4 lA M t .4, t4 .i, f. OR ,, No sick headache, sour stomach, biliousness or constipation by morning. Qot u JO-cont box now. Turn tlio rascals out tho headache, biliousness, indigestion, tho sick, sour stomach and foul gases turn them out to-night and keop them out with Cascarets. Millions of men and women tako n Cascaret now and then and nover know the misery caused by a lazy liver, clogged bowels or an upset atom ach. Don't put in another day of distress. Let Cascarets cleanse your stomach; remove tho flour, fomenting food; take tho excess bile from your liver and carry out all the constipated waste matter and poison In tho bowels. Then you will feel great. A Cascaret tonight stralghtons you out by morning: They work while you sleep. A lucent box from any drug storo means a clear head, sweet stomach and clean, healthy liver and bowel action for months. Chil dren love Cascarets because they never grips or sicken. Adv. TIME TO WIND UP AND QUIT Aunt Phenie Had Eased Her Mind, So There Was Only One Thing Left to Say. Old Aunt Phenlo was the colored cook In a Uoston family. Her husband was cook on a boat and sometimes ho was away from Phenlo for many months. At one time when ho had been gone seven or eight months, Aunt I'henlo. who could neither read nor write, asked her mistress to write a. letter to her husband. "Now, what do you want mo to write, Phenie?" said tho mistress. Phenio's eyes had a dangerous light in them as she said: "Fust off I wants yo' to gib him .Tesso fo' not wrltln' to me! Tell 'im I says he is a good-for-nothln', trlflln', ham-foot niggah what ain't fit fo" me to wlpo my feet on! Write Jess lalk dat! Den yo' sail in en call him a plrut or a chicken thlof fo' not sendin' me mo money! He's got a right to send- me money oven if I is airnln' wages! Tell '1m I Is 'bout to 'ply fo' divorcement papers! Call 'im any kind of a bad name yo' can t'lnk of do mlzzable niggah!" There was much more of the worst of abuse and dire threats and then hqr mistress asked: "What else, Phenlo?" "Well, I guess yo' bettah send 'Im my lovo en quit!" The Sunday Maga zine.' I Sentiment Jolted. Just as the happy husband of a few months was about to leave home for the dally office grind his wife placed a hand upon his arm. "Harry, dear," she softly said, "ijyen't you a lock of my hair some where in your pocket?" "I have, indeed, sweetheart," was the prompt response of hubby, as he affectionately embraced the sharer or his sorrows and joys. "I have it right hero in the pocket close to my heart!" - "That's" fine, Harry!" delightedly re turned littlo wifey. "Won't you please .ake it and see If you can match mo omo puffs when you go downtown?" Philadelphia Telegraph. Story Tellers. "Do you find that set of books you bought Interesting?" "Not very," confessed the man who tries to Improve .himself. "Do you regret your bargain?" "A little. I'd feel better, about it if tho man who comes around to collect tho cash was as good at telling a funny yarn as the ono who sold me the books " Tit-Bits. If woman had her way man wouldn't havo his. Nothing Is so uncertain as the minds of a certain class of politicians. Uhtli) SLUGGISH BOWELS rfsy More Nourishment Weight for Weight in a package of Grape-Nuts than in a roast of beef. Grape-Nuts is meat the meat of wheat and barley a rich, sweet, appetizing food, ready to eat direct from the package with cream or milk. All the bone-making, blood-making, muscle-making values of choicest wheat combined with malted barley are afforded in this famous pure food. Grape-Nuts being partially pre-digested by long baking, gives quickly a wonderful power to "do," in return for the small energy required to digest it. Better and more complete nourishment than Grape-Nuts and cream is difficult to find; and with the price of meat way up there's true economy, too. This sturdy food is sold by Grocers everywhere, in wax-sealed packages. Thousands make it a part of their daily breakfasts. There's a ce NEEDED SOME MORE TRAINING Possibly Pup That Was Moses' Pride Would Prove Prize Winner, but Just at Present "That's a nice dog of yours, Moses. What breed is ho?" "Isn't ho? He's an Airedale got a pedlgreo as long as my arm, and I'm told he'll carry all before him when he gots properly filled out." "It Isn't often dogs carry things be hind them, Is it?" "Oh, I don't mean that. I mean he'll win wherever shown. But ho's a good one to carry things as well. Seo, I'll loose him oft tho lead, and give him my cap to carry." Suiting tho action to tho word, Moses gave tho dog his liberty and stuffed the cap In his mouth. For flvo oeconds tho dog carried tho cap In a model mannor, then ho sud denly bounded away, tossed tho cap about upon tho muddy roadway, and finished up, just bb Moses got to tho spot, by tearing it nearly in half. "Ho carried all before him that time," said Asker. But as Moses held up his mud-lorn hat he uttered things wo daren't rccoid. He Was She. In a college for women, where tho faculty consisted chiefly of tho gentler sex, a meeting of tho academic coun cil was In progress. Hero and there a lone man sat surrounded by learned ladies. An amendment had just, been oroposed. "Where Is the person who offers this amendment?" Inquired the presi dent. "Who Is sho?" "Whereupon Mr. Skcets, the popular young professor of a favorlto subject, rose and replied, dcprecatlngly, "I am she." He Couldn't Retract. Tho late Herr Gotthllf Wclstein, tho famous German book collector, had a very bad impediment In his speech. One day he got into an argument with a man to whom he had taken a great dislike. Tho dispute became hotter and hotter until Welsteln completely lost his temper. "You're an n-n-n-n-n-Id-Id-id-Id-lot!" ho shouted furiously. "Herr Welsteln," replied his oppo nent coldly, "you must retract that at once!" "Never!" retorted Welsteln. "I'm only too J-J-J-J-jolly glad to g-g-get It out!" Had Never Rehearsed It. Tho moving plcturo director was having trouble In getting one of the scenes right. The girl was supposed to resist an attempt to kiss her, but tho rehearsal waB far from satisfac tory. "Think, now," said tho director, coaching her; "haven't you over tried to stop a young man from kissing you?" "No," was the girl's frank reply. , Tolstoy's Teachings. If people would but understand that they are not the sons of some father land or other, nor of governments, but are sons of God, and can, therefore, neither be slaves nor enemies, one of another those insane, unnecessary, worn-out pernicious organizations called governments, and all the suffer ings, violations, humiliations and crimes which they occasion, would cease. Leo Tolstoy. Marriage a La Mode. "When will their marriage be solem nized?" "As soon as It Is financed." One kind of a fool man is the chap who advises his iianceo to take boxing lessons. Most of us who attempt to wear tho mantle of greatness are disappointed in the fit. Few men arc envied because of their wisdom; many becauso of their wealth. Let's.remomber the kind acts of oth ers, but forget our own! A self-mado man Is as proud of tho outcomo as he is of his income tax. 4Jt SSS v ' zmm ?, :!" Reason" for Grape-Nllti SAGE TEA DARKENS GRAY HAIR TO ANY SHADE. TRY IT! Keep Your Locks Youthful, Dark, Glossy and Thick With Garden Sage and Sulphur. When you darken your hair with Sago Tea and Sulphur, no ono can tell, because it's done so naturally, oo evenly. Preparing this mixture, though, nt homo Is mussy and trouble somo. For BO cents you can buy at any drug storo tho rcady-to-uso tonic called "Wyoth's Sago and Sulphur Hair Remedy." You Just dampen a sponge or soft brush with It and draw this through your hair, tnklnc ono small strand nt a time. By morn ing all gray hair disappears, and, after another application or two, your hair becomes beautifully darkened, glossy and luxuriant. You will also dis cover dandruff Ib gone and hair haB stopped falling. Gray, faded hair, though no dis grace, Is a sign of old ago, and as wo nil dcBlro tr youthful and attractive ap pearance, get busy at onco with Wy cth's Sage and Sulphur and look years younger. Adv. Activities of Women. Mixed marriages aro forbidden In Washington. Belgrade, Servla, has two woman physicians. Indiana has over 30,000 women em ployed in Its industries. Mrs. Thomas A. Edison is about tho only person In tlie world who can glvo ordors to her famous husband, and ho always abides by whrrt sho says. Over 00 per cent of ;up school teach ers In Washington arc affected by tho now antl-marrlago rule ma'do by tho board of education of that city. Tho Woman's National Made in tho United States of America leaguo hopes to enroll 2,000,000 women. It Is pro posed that each member of ,tho leaguo shall buy only articles made In tho United Stales. Somo of tho most prominent women In tho United Statea Will tako an actlvo part In the furth erance of tho project. Accidental Literary Gem. Among the lato Sir Waltor Qllboy'3 other claims to notice may bo counted tho unexpected fact that he or his firm is responsible for what 13 surely ono of tho best hexameters in tho English language. This is, or used to be, found printed in very small typo at the foot of tho label on every bottle of Gllbey'a port wlno, and as follows: "Bottled In brilliant condition, but care must bo used on decanting." Tho accent, rhythm, and neat alliteration of this would be hard to beat. Yot It must, of course, be purely accidental. Man chester Guardian. Women's Parents. Mrs. Bacon I see that nearly four hundred women applied for patents in England last year. Mr. Beacon Why, I didn't know thero could be as many devices for keeping husbands homo nights aa that. Great Problem. ' "What was your office boy looking so thoughtful about this morning when I came In?" "He was trying to make up his mind whether ho would fill my Inkstand or not." Reasonable Theory. Boss No; wo have all tho men wo need. Laborer Seems like you could take ono more, the littlo bit of work he'd do. Judge. The Reason. "Your now clerk appears to bo very blue about his work." "That's1 only because he's green." The Principal One. "Aro you familiar with the motives of Blink's new play?" "Yes; ho needed money." Doubtless It is tho uncxpocted that happens becauso ono can never tell what a woman will do. Tho more indignant women can be come over a scandal the more they enjoy It. r. &.&& j& . h WGffl4ffl&0' SfiBKA WES?-- NlXaSSSfSSil' -w?. fLFm-r fkymuamLJUjr -.. ROWING FINE FOR SCHOOLBOYS, SAYS COACH Guy Nlckalls, Ya Guy Nlckalls, the Yale rowing coach, Is a pronounced ndvocato of rowing for schoolboys, believing that It will dovelop them from undersized weak lings to men of strength. This ho con elders Is proved by the case of tho English schoolboys, who are benefited by participation In the sport. In speak ing of tho subject, ho said: "I was from a physical standpoint nn excellent exnmplo of what rowing could do for an undersized weakling. At twelve years of age I weighed only 70 pounds. I began rowing nt four teen, when about eighty pounds In weight, and steadily gained In weight, until at twenty I weighed 170. 1 am an example of thousands In England of what regular rowing exercise will do for nn undersized boy. It also has the ndvantago of other sports In that a lot of rowing exercise can bo put through in a very short space of time, bo that It will not interfere In any way BARNEY OLDFIELD TO RETIRE Veteran, of Automobile Speed Klng3 Declares He Is Through With Sport Loses Hlo Nerve. Barney Oldfleld, a veteran nmong tho automobile speed kings both In road and track racing, has announced that he Is through with tho sport. The death of Spencer Wlshart, one of IiIb closest friends, In the Elgin national race has convinced him, ho says, that tho time is ripe for his retirement from tho dangerous pastime ho has fol lowed so successfully for many years. This Is not tho first time Barney has -Awj' Barney Oldfleld. announced his retirement. Ho has al ways been unablo to resist tho fasci nation of high Bpecd work, in spite of numberless nurrow escapes from death. "I'vo always thought I had a lot of nervo," said Oldfleld recently. "My friends have told mo so, and the news papers havo written about Oldfleld'a nervo. But I certainly was forced to take a back scat ono day. "It happened on a southern track, wheto I was carded as ono of tho fea turo 'drivers. The promoter, a big fel low with leather lungs, also acted as announcer during the races. "Ho would call out, through a mega phone, 'Barney Oldfleld Is now crank ing his car,' 'Baincy Oldfleld Is now chnuglng a tire," and so on. "After tho race I rodo back to the city on a crowded street car and ev nrybody was talking about tho event A couple of young fellows sat next to mo and one exclaimed: " 'Gee, Oldfleld has a lot of nerve, hasn't ho?' " 'Perhaps ho has,' said tho othor. But ho hasn't half tho nervo tho pro moter has In staging that kind of a race.' "Needless to say, I didn't dlvulgo my Identity." Terrapins After Lapp. Tho Baltimore Federals uro now re ported aB being after Catcher Lapp of tho Macklans. le Rowing Coach with the boy's regular school studies. "School rowing In England is, It is geneinlly agreed, a greater factor In tho physical development of youth than any other exercise so fnr culti vated. Tho chief schools In England which make a specialty of this form of nthlotlcs aro Eton, Hugby, Shrews bury, Bedford, Beaumont, Westmin ster, Winchester, and others which are situated near suitable water for this purpose. So far as statistics can be relied upon no heart or lung trouble or permanent muscular strain can be directly attributed to this form of athletic sport, and I may say that it has been generally recognized In Eng land, at least, that since the exercise of rowing makes uso of and develops every muscle In tho body, It does more to cultivate tho growth and to develop tho chest and genornlly benefit tho growing youth than any other form of athletic exercise." FEW LEFT-HANDED GOLFERS Southpaws Figure About Throe In One Hundred Learn Game More Quick ly Than Rlght-Handers. Someono high up In golf has figured out that the left-handed man figures three In every hundred players. Also that there never has boon a good left handed player In this country that is, ono who bus won n natlonnl champion ship. Now It isn't so much that tho Bouth paw doesn't got tho knack of tho game aa well as tho right-handed man. It is, perhaps, that the odds aro against him. Ho is simply swamped by play ers who swing according to Hoylo. Thorc Is not nny moro reason why a left-hnnder should not shlno at that game than thero is In baseball. It just happens, perhaps, that no man who plays left handed has taken the gamo up as seriously as Jerry Travors and tho rest of tho sharpshooters., It Is foolish to believe that it Is harder for him to learn tho gamo. As a matter of fact, the left-handers learn tho gamo Quicker, for some reason or othor, and another point In their' favor la that whoro tho right-handed man is always sliding Into tho rough, tho left-handors' slice generally .works around tho other way and lands In tho mlddlo of tho fair green. It is also said that tho left-hander loses one ball to tho right-hander's fifty. COOOCOOOGCOCOOOOOOOOOOOOOQ P I HIGH-PRICED PLAYERS EddloColllns.Philadelphla Americans, bought by Chicago Americans... .$50,000 Joe Tlnkor, Cincinnati Nationals, bought by Brooklyn Nationals.... 25,000 Marty O'Toolo, St Paul American association, bought by Pittsburgh Nationals 22,500 Larry Chappoll, Milwau kee American associa tion, bought by Chlcngo Americans 18,000 Lefty Itussell, Baltimore International leaguo, bought by Philadelphia O 0 Americans 12,000 Fritz Malsel, Baltimore International lengue, benight by Now York- Americans 12,000 (! Kubu Marquard, Indlanap oils American ussocla- j tlon bought by Now K York Nationals 11,000 Cy Seymour, Cincinnati Nationals, bought by Now York Nationals... Splko Shannon, St. Louis Nntloualu, bought by New York Nationals... O O if 10,001) o Q 6 10,000 i 0 5 ooopoooocooooooaoocooooooe Larry McLean's War Fund. "I.arry" McLean mnkoa a suggestion that soundB llko good advice to tho Natlonnl longue. "If tho leaguo needs a war fund to light tho Fedorals," says Larry, "It should set nsldo tho money that 'Hank' O'Day fined mo In 1012 It could put up quite u light on It, I know," C ONE OF THE IS Although Canada's real start In na tional development ns pointed out by tho Buffalo Commercial, camo slow ly and late, as compared with that of tho United States, It Is now well un dor way, and very soon thero will bo a marvelous expansion la agriculture, mining and manufacturing. Tho paper abovo mentioned sayB that "heretofore tho development of Canada, llko that of tho United States, has beeu westward, but unllko this country, tho Dominion has a great territory to tho North, which has boon legardeu as all but uninhabitable, but In which recent research has proven thoro nro possibilities of develop ment almost Inconceivable." After making complimentary roferenco to tho rcsourcos of tho country tributary to tho Hudson Bay, which will bo opened up when tho railroad now un der construction Is completed, the Commercial further says "thorc nro those living today who will seo our neighbor on tho north a groat and powerful nntlon, and a not Insignifi cant Industrial and commercial rival of tho United States. Tho war may retard, but It cannot dcstroy Canada's future. And In this expansion no ono will moro heartily, rejoice than tho peoplo of tho United States, because the prosperity of tho Dominion Ib bound to Increase our own.'" Herein Is the spirit that dominates tho Dominion Government when It extends nn lnvltntlon to Americans to assist In developing tho resources that Canada possesses, whether they bo mineral, forest, Industrial, commercial or agrlculturo Both countries will benefit and tho United States will bo n gainer by hnvlng as a neighbor a country whoso resources nro as great and varied ub aro thoso of Canada. In comparing tho United States oloiiB wJth other nations of tho world In producing and Importing food stuffs, tho Agricultural Outlook pub lished by tho United States depart ment of agrlculturo says: Tho United States in recent years has been as largo an importor of food stuffs as exportor; thoroforo sho can not brt classed as a surplus producer of foodstuffs. This Is contrary to pop ular Impression. It Is truo that sho Is an exporter of certain articles, out bIio is un equally lurgu lmpoitor of other articles. In this classification tea and coffeo aro Included with food stuffs. Tn cololo grains tho produc tion Is 23 per cent moro than tho nmount retained; of production of mcatB Is six per cent moro that Is, exports of meat equal six per cent of that retained In tho United States for consumption; tho production of dairy products Is 20 per cent moro than consumed; tho production of poultry is just about equal to con sumption; of vegetables, ono per cent loos. An Investigation into tho produc tion, Imports and exports of food prod ucts of various countries Indicates that England produces about 53 por cent of her food requirements, and Imports (not) about -17 per cent; Bel glum produces 57 per cent, and Im ports 43 per cont; Germany produces 88 por cont, and Imports 12 per cent, Frauco produces 92 per cent, and Im ports eight per cent; Austria-Hungary produces 08 per cont, and Imports two por cent; Russia produces 110 per cent of her requirements, and exports an equivalent of about 10 per cent; Canada produces 23 por cent moro than she consumes; Argentina pro ducoa 18 por cont moro than sho con sumes; tho United Stntcs produces practically no moro than sho con sumes (1. o. exports and Imports of foodstuffs almost balance). With this Information before tho reader, It Is not a difficult matter to direct attention to tho fact that Can ada stands In a pre-eminent position In tho mntter of ;grnln and cattle pro duction, and with a, largo territory yet unoccupied bIio will nlways main tain It. Advertisement. PASSED UP THE INVITATION Sinister Significance In Occupations of Men Who Had Invited Politician to Address Them. A political speaker who had rccolvod nn invitation from tho leaders of his party In a distant village, boforo re plying, sought to discover what sort of reception ho would bo likely to re ceive, and placed tho letter of invita tion boforo n friend whom ho know camo from tho same district. "Think I'd better accept?" Inquired the politician. "I wouldn't, If I woio you," replied his friend, slinking his head gravely. "Why?" "Well," replied tho other, "I don't llko tho signatories of tho letter of in vitation." "Aren't they men of Influence?" "Yes, decidedly thoy havo Influence In tho pnrty," replied thd friend; "hut of the four ono Is tho local under taker, tho second Ib tho monumental stonemason, tho third Is a dry goods dealer who makes a specialty of mourning orders, and tho fourth Is known to gamble largely In llfo insur ance policies." The politician did not accept tho Invitation. 1 Trying to Forget. He Don't you romember mo? Sho Why should 1? "Wo wero engaged to bo married last summer at tho beach." "Yes; but don't you recollect you told mo to forglvo and forget you?" Misfit. Knlck Doesn't Jones fit In an where? Bock No; that man would bo a square peg In n doughnut. Judge. ID DIE 6 CHILD GROSS, FEVEBISH, S Look, Mother! If tongue is coated, give "California Syrup ofJMgs." Children lovo this "fruit laxative," and nothing elso cleanses tho tender stomach, liver and bowols bo nicely. A child simply will not stop playing to empty the bowels, and tho result Ib thoy becomo tightly clogged nlth waste, liver gets sluggish, stomach sours, then your littlo ono becomes cross, half-sick, fovcrlsh, don't eat, sleop or act naturally, breath Is bad, system full of cold, has soro throat, stomach-ache or diarrhoea. Listen, Mother! See if tonguo is coated, then glvo a teaspoonful of "California Syrup of Figs," and In a fow houra all tho constipated waBtc, Bour bile and undfgested food passes out of tho Bys torn, and you havo a well child again. Millions of mothers glvo "California Syrup of Flga" becauso it Is perfectly harmless; children lovo it, and it nev er falls to act on tho stomach, liver and bowels. Ask at tho stord for a 50-cent bottlo of "California Syrup of Figs," which han full directions for babies, children of nil ages and for grown-ups plainly printed on tho bottle. Adv. So to Say. "It must be awfully cold outdoors, "causo Arthur sayB It Is." "Arthur?" "Arthurmometer." U. vtf I. Siren. Not Sure YeL "Your wlfo is out of dangor, then?" "I shall think so unless tho doctor comes back." Tho Idea of neutrality according to somo people Ib to cuss both sides. Nnshvlllo Banner. The General Says: m wR! 3BSSS Why accept a doubtful guarantee on roofing when you can get one signed by tho largest man ufacturer of roofing and building papers in the world, with a saving in cost in the long run? ICerkmiteed Roofing Is guaranteed In writing S years for 1-ply, w years lor z-piy, ana yeara lovo-vir, and the responaibtlity of our big mills stands behind this guarantee. Its quality is the highest and its price the most reason able. For sale by dealers everywhere. L General Roofing Mfg. Company World's laryttt manufacturtri of JloqTnj arul UulltHnQ l'aptri Hw York City Boiton Ctkiro Pitblnrsfe PhSl.JtlpUa AUinU Clcielini Dllroil St. Lonh Cinclnnitl Ktniti City MinpUi StnFruchco Scittlt Lendon lUmWf Sjiatj Beauty Is Only Skin Deep It is vitally nec essary there fore, that you take good care of your skin. ZONA POMADE if used regularly will beautify and preserve your complexion and help you retain the bloom of early youth for many year's. Try it for 30 days. If not moro than satisfied you get your money back. 50c at druggists or mailed direct. Zona Company, Wichita. Kan. DEFIANCE STARCH is constantly growing in favor becauso it Does 'Not Stick to the Iron and it will not injure the finest fab'ric. For laundry purposes it has no equal. 16 oz. package 10c. 1-3 more starch for same money. DEFIANCE STARCH CO., Omaha, Nebrasks For Ts sling: Our nuaed vtrlttut of IiAUDTrofur Moth Root AppU UrtiU tniU .TljrcMi, rlr btmxtn, htavUr it. Tasrova thair wortou offr 6 Grsfti (rooted) for WiUof , II rod will land 10o to hlp corir cort tnJ laillio iPotM. TWwlUbr UfrtUwiMBUncUtfappIeiim hUwjttrt Un. Ca4ic falltef ftUot fct VUWr ktt fruits. fvt&BxXiLua 8T&1WU&- rTaetiMlarSarKrjlVBaiM,OtttIt RJM. .. VBJLK. VfjKM taJfc. CLOVER B EST ON EARTH W laconaln grown teed reconnlied tba world orer 11 bardleat, most rigorous. JUia Hxin OATALoa lliri. John A. Siller Seed Co., Box 705, Ls Crone, Wli. BEST MARKET for POULTUV-VEAL-CREAM Wrlto'uo for Prico Li5t and Tubs. THE It. E. COBB CO., 14 E.3rd Street. St. Paul, Minn. WArITI7r ta hoar from owner of jcood farm vy rt.il VLslS tor ale. Seud description nil price. KitUMiun Buiim iutr,uruauaupiujuu. C9fl AovaoJi' wood, clar loam, itnniplandiM a&uicrcafniient fnruiltiz, central WUoonnln, 111 por aero. UUOD MirU.Uo., Aiuileton, Wl. Far KiebMg OH stocfc.wells located tn Wyoming oil lleldai pniduclnit. Kxctmngo for iBPrebandliia Block, furiu, fruit or grating luno. n, V, iut, Vt uinaW, B. i. Sioux City Directory "Hub of thoNorthwest-" FOK HE8T BEBVICE SHIP RSCE BROTHERS Llvo Stock Commission Merchants at HiaUXOirr, Chicago op KanmacOMy SHIP YOUR LIVE STOCK TO Sioux City Live Stock Commission CMipj ' $50,000.00 A.2US!S&i1k ixt u know If you am In' need of tuatket report. VVo Mill snail you Uvo Stock lUicord free of charge A -'.1 j.a...r.... , ),. L-i f y