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The Dakota City Herald
- JOHN H. REAM, Publisher.
JAKOTA CITV,
NEDHAGKA
WORLD'S DEBT TO THE SHEEP
Nations Have Been Enriched and Mil.
lions Fed by Oo-Called "Silly"
Animal.
The "silly sheep" of the poet and
novelist Ib the first animal mentioned
In snerod history except the snnke
and with Its solitary caretaker, tho
shepherd, forms tho most offectlvo ex
ample of gregarious dependence and
Untiring guardianship. Throughout all
nges tho sheep has enriched nations
fed millions and been one of tho great
factors of commercial and industrial
prosperity. ,
Especially gregarious, peaceable and
hardy, the sheep can fatten on pasi
iuragc too aparsefornny other crea-
"turo oxcept"his cousin; the goftt, and
lienco wilderness land, too stcrllo for
any other purpose, affords a living to
great flocka, except in winter, whllo
a very small number of Bhcphcrds can
caro for a great number of sheop.
The bleak moors and remoto valleys
of Iceland, the Shetlands, Terra del
Fucgo, tho Falklands and other re
mote nnd almost Arctic islands, tho
great moors of Scotland, England and
Ireland, tho dreary lands of Drittany
nnd Navarro in Franco, and Immense
areas of Spain, Portugal, Italy.'Kussia
and Northern Africa are all largely
given up to this Industry, not to speak
of the, great "bush pastures of Aus
tralasia, tho "Karoos" of Southern
Africa, and tho "Pampas" of Puta
gonla, Uruguay, Argentina, Chile and
other South African countries.
For many centuries the homo was
chiefly tho factory in which wool was
carded, spun, dyed and woven, and
the home-made "wadmnal" of Icoland,
the "home-spun" of tho English speak
ing races, and the finer cloths of
France, Spain and Germany .were
prized at homo and exported abroad,
indeed to so great on extent that tho
."wadmaal" of Iceland was a recog-
" nlzed currency with which debts Wore
paid and fines and forfeitures for many
crimes and manslaylngs woro satis
fled. Until the middle of tho last cen
tury a very largo proportion of tho
farmers of Canada and tho United
States kept a number of shcop, both
white and black, National Magazine.
"Sober as a Judge."
Mr. Justice Darling suggests that
the saying, "As sober as a Judge,"
originated from the fact that 100
years or bo back judges wcro-ibetonly
sober people in the country. North
of the Tweed, where the saying is
also current, Judges woro certainly
not conspicuous for sobriety. Andrew
Lang relates that "a great Scottish
judge was once compelled to abstain
..from .alpo?1"1 or B,x w?ok8. Ie tnon
'dlscqvfred "that" for thirty years of a
learned nnd respected and valuable
career he had never boon for one
hour roally sober. Ho had his 'morm
ing' when he tobo; Ills 'twelve hours'
jatJioonr - On tho benoh Tio and the
"oilier judges solemnly nnd dutifully
absorbed their bottle, pay a' bottlo
nnd n Scots pint) ot port. Then ho
'd!Hcfirsndi2abnvr.thp-.claret till ho
titubated to bed.. Then ho rose", hnct
no tub, and had his morning glass ot
whisky or brandy, and so on." Lon
don Chronicle.
Machine Made Waves,
A swimming bath with real waves is
one of tho latest inventions and at
tracted great attention, when it was
exhibited at the Dresden Hygieno ex
hibition The waves aro formed by
-maohlnoryj-the. general' prJnclplob-
lng that ot comproBslng tho water,
which is forced up from tho bottom of
the bath and then drops. A Bplendld
Imitation of real soa waves 1b ob
tained, though it tho bath bo shallow
they are more in the naturo ot break
ers. '
Got By, Anyway.
HeUn, ago' Ihrcu, wished to get
outdotiTH tb play. Her mamma's aft
eroor caller was near'tho door, partly
DlocWng the passage.
''Let tao'-by" demanded Helon as
she squeezed through. ,
"Why, Helen, you must not talk
that way to the Jndy," said mamma.
JIYqu should jiay ploaBo."
"" '"Woll, I got" by, anyway, didn't 17"
;rmwnrfid Hulonrwho hadjeached the
front porch, with a look showing alio
regarded tho moans used in accom
plishing the desired end of secondary
importance
And Minister Had to Smile.
In order-'to neutralize the norioua-
.nose of marriage a bridegroom left a
-Tiice, thickly wadded packot for tha
minister WUO officiated. "This.'' nald
tho happy bridegroom, "is your foe,
Doctor." Tho minister thanked him
heartily and Borne time later on open
ing tho "fee" found it to bo a bundle
ot wrapping paper skilfully folded and
bearing this raosBngo: "Woll, old boy,
I'm married now, bo don't wish me
any hard luck, even if you areot
.back a little. Yours in a rush,"
Much Money Spent for Samples.
Some ot the larger dry good,s houses
of this country aro satd to expend an
nually as much as $100,000 in the
preparation of samples, which are Bent
to -their patronB throughout the coun
try from which to mako selections of
Btock.
Proof Enough.
Young Wife How do I know
you
still lovo mo? t
Young Hub 1 stayed home from a
'ball game to take you to a basket
picnic proof enough.
"Getaway" In Gotham,
A New York newspaper has recelv.
e4 a number ot letters on the best
SMtkod of accomplishing a graceful
"fitiway" when making a call. One
MfTMpesdeat says he manages it by
qtalaimlag suddenly: "Oh, can tho pit
ftej I jpxwh, 1 gotta be golnV
. . a
- Hit Views Has Changed.
' Mw. Baabain Before you married
mm yew ftid that I was a'lflueen,
a weu, j no longer believe
a- monarchical form of govern-
t r
DEASffi
ukJQm
a-vk r. f i ana i ill ii
BUILDE-iJS
& WrtiA.PAPfORI
Mr. William A. Radford will sr'
questions and Klve advlco FREb Ob
COST on all subjects pertalnlrK to tho
subject of bulldlnjr, for tho readers of this
pnpor. On account of his wldo expeilenco
an Editor, Author ond Manufacturer, ho
Is, without dmibt, tlio hlKhest authority
on all tlieso subjects. Address all Inquiries
to William A. nudford, No. 178 West
Jackson boulevard, Chicago, III., ond only
enclose two-cent stamp for reply.
For a corner lot or an extra wide
lot I like a squaro houso with a four
sided roof. This stylo of roof has
boon popular for cottago houses for a
great many years. In fact, it used to
be known in tho east ns a "cottago"
roof, brcaUBo In Now York and othor
eastern states square-built one-story
hoiJses were vory common. 'Some of
theso cottage houses were so large
that tho roof needed nil tho support
possible, "and tho pointed peak stylo
In the design hero illustrated was
found especially sultablo.
It looked well then, and it looks well
now; but wo mako theso roofs much
steeper and add a fow windows, which
enables us to get tho boncflt of a good
garret, f hat in tlw old-stylo roof was
too dark. Sometimes wetuclt several
bedrooms awny'ln tho corners of theso
pyramid roofs; but when wo do that,
wo generally run the wall up a foot
or two higher and extend tho wlnddws
down considerably lower than these.
As this house is built the attic Is
'all right for storage purposes and for
hanging the family washing on rainy
or snowy days; and it is worth a
great deal ot comfort, during the sum
mer, Just to keep the house cool when
the sun chines hot und the wind comes
right out of a furnaco somewhere
down in the southwest
To appreciate a good attic at its full
value, you must hnvo tho window sash
hung with strong hinges. Butts are
all right generally; but sometimes
strap hinges are better; they aro sure
ly better If you havo the sash made
with wide enough stiles to hold the
screws properly. Yon must havo some
good way of fastening tho windows
open, or part way open, bo that they
willstay "put" !a all kinds.ot weather.
You do not want to climb the upper
stair during a storm when tho light
ning Is blinking at you, to shut and
fasten an obstreperous Bash so that
It will not wigwag the glass all out
,u vii'A" -yjb-&'
rv. - iii ,r 'jvi-'ijb ,v . jvsm u
iiXSal
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of It. Such llttlo excursions, when
taken in the middle of the night, lead
to more things thnn tho attic, they
have been known to lead to profanity,
and that le wrong.
Being practically 80 feet wide, this
houso needs a 40-foot lot if it 1b on
a comer; and the lot should be wider
than thin if there is a houso on each
side of it. SomotlmeB there aro build
ing restrictions which require all
houses on ceitalu streots to bo placed
so many feet back from the curb or
tho street line; and such stipulations
usually Includo the position of tho
houso in regard to tho side line ot the
lot, The intention is to present an
even fn)iitng, for uniformity in front,
and to lenvu a decent luwu on tho
uuuuy oMo of tlie houso, ono object
being to let tho light Into tho noxt
man's windows ncross this open spaco,
First Floor Plan,
and tho second man's lawn helps to
light tho third man's house; and so on
along tho whole longth of tho Btreet
Among honorable mon such an ar
rangement works vory well. When
lived up to, It is a direct benefit to
each owner whllo he occupies his
houso; and it helps to rent or Bell
his property when, in tho progress ot
human events, that becomes neoes
eary. But the pest-lald plans ot real
estate men sometimes come to grief,
und this mild, Utopian. schomo is not
immune from such troubles, Unfortu
nately, in theso caBes, it has been do
creed that a warranty deed shall con
vey complete possession to. eald tract
or parcel of land, even up to and In
cluding' the last halMnch as laid down
upon a curtain map in tho office ot the
count clerk j and ft seems that no
-:.y'ui' rl.f J -;-t;.,T3&i?--J;. -W.iVv''.:'-M ,.- JTSt-attm 1 SU I Br 7C4SBSB STV JJaM smMiSOJC
tz:&7?"ZmmF&mmw in ,' vsgrvi mwk ah xri
w'mgmmm$wm)wmHmm Mr,
0 I 0'P 8 I
af3 $g"l
I Plrfrj
KWA' j
I B-'fl. Ppl
r1 ' y
,. ...ih1 -k- -V ' tut ,
nridltlonnl agreement can go behind
the returns.
When a man. obtains pdsscssfon of
n lot he can erect a perpendicular wall
right out to tho stroot line, and ho can
oxtond that wall as far heavenward as
his bank account will permit, and he
can go down tho other way if ho bo
so inclined. Anyono can break the
agreement, !f ho wants to be eo devil
ish mean, by transferring his tltlo to
somo othor member of tho family or
by somo othor snide trick; but you
still havo tho privilege, on tho author
ity of Judge Lynch, to tar and feather
tho white-livered spalpeen.
In building a houso like this it is
hotter to got a lot 50 foot wide if you
8econd Floor Plan.
can. That leaves room for a nlco
lawn, together with suitable outside
decorations, without giving the .prop
erty a crowded, built-in effect The
final finishing up of the grounds and
general surroundings of tho house has
not received as much attention at the
hands of bullderB as it should. Ordi
narily architects and builders are sat
isfied to design a good house, and see
that It Is mqporly built, while leaving
the surroundings and final embellish
ments entirely with the owner.
Now, the fact is, houses aro built,
for the most part, by men who have
spent tho early years of their lives in
..T,2i': .. . .". .a .'
rr r-n.rvjVWW" VVWAi" AT.W., tT'
u-'yz ?
7 & yrvzz ?KTrTBffli
y
business; and their attention has been
taken up with matters entirely differ
ent, and they are not qualified tb ar
range tho many details that properly
go with a well-arra'nged home. They
may know what they want in a gen
eral way; but when it comes to fitting
a houso to alot in a community in
which thoy would like to live, a llttlo
assistance from a nmn who under
stands such things Is a grent help, and
will bo appreciated in after years.
Many mistakes have been made by
putting unsuitable houses in certain
communities; and a great many more
mistaken have been made in neglect
ing to fit the house to tho lot, or In
not buying a lot to fit the houBo that
the man wants to build.
Onu of the commonest mistakes in
building 1b to placo tho house the
wrong way. There are house plans
thnt aro perfectly satisfactory when
fronted south, which would badly fit
a northern outlook. Tho direction In
which a houso fronts means a good
deal to aotne people, which others cum
very llttlo about it North, south, cagt
and west all have advantages, and
tnoy an nave disadvantages, it very
much doponds on tho likes and dis
likes ot the inmates, but a great deal
also dopendB on tho plan ot the house.
Royalty Handicapped,
Tho lato Admiral Robley D. Evans,
during his visit to Japan, waa received
by Mutsuhlto and his ompress at a
court ceremouy. In Breaking ot the
Janancse court, ho said:
Hand-klBslng was not the thing. In
stead, I received a hand-shako from a
very shapoly nnd beautiful hand. 1
found tho empress a woman of great
refinement and perfect ease of man
nor, bo delicate In appearance and bo
small In staturo na to remind you ot
somo flnu piece of Dresden china. She
was attired In n Parle gown ot helio
trope brocade, tho bad fit of which I
accounted for Just as I accounted for
tho baggy trousers of tho emperor.
After l had been a yoar in Japan I
was satisfied It was owing to the fact
that a tailor would not permit himself
to touch tho porsons of tholr majes
ties, but jUBt lortkod at thorn nnd
gueesed what tho measurements would
bo. Youth's Companion,
Value of Proper Spelling.
Good spelling and Intelligent puue
tuatlon aro tho accomplishments that
keep nv.ny giay-halrod women draw
ing good salaries as stenographers In
downturn offices. The manager of a
typewriter office from which are sent
hundreds ot stenographers makos no
secret ot tho fact thnt good speUors
are scarce. New York Sun,
nil immmmimmM
BED
1 ROOM
jf-arjcaye'
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.j" rww'Kar Y3S3r 4(s.i- . di? jzf jm&-
m&", ',. " ( .-? -sf,j w'v aik -s . . a assr jse?j?
an' 'twm wiammK vvvr-' " j- 'si . ' -nvv. 4&j rr i tw w usvak.. limit vuh v-v.:wP2 jx.
m --.it- " , . . ri-rt ay' - v -Jrf ) c?v -siskmoI'Jsshi mrm h-svhlh,ii j
jfWST
MELI88A LEADS MR. BURR A MER
RY BARGAIN CHASE.
"He brought it on himself," declared
Mrs. Merriwld. "Nobody can say that
I didn't warn him, either; und now soo
what's becomo of him." '
"What has become ot him?" Mrs.
Morrlwld's matornal maiden Aunt
Jano asked tho question.
"I was thinking of cnlllng up the
hospitals to find out, dearie," replied
her niece. "Tho great thing is that ha
Isn't hero, nnd I gavo hltn a most cor
dial invitation, too I rather lnfor
that Air. Burr will bo nblo to exist
without tho sweet solace of my pres
ence for quite a fow days. You know
ho had his doubts about It."
"I didn't know," said Aunt Jane.
"Dear "mo, yes! Of course there
wero a few stunts incidental to the
bread-winning performance that made
claims upon his time, but he took no
real Jntprest In them. Ho only Hvedv
as you might say 'lived' in tho' sun
shine of my smile. Ot course, if I
didn't feel like smiling, that was all
right, too. The point was that he had
to bo near, me at my feet, or therea
bouts. Ho said he didn't pretend to ac
count for it scientifically. It triight be
vibration thought waves acting upon
a highly sensitized soul retina tuned
to tho proper pitch! it might be psy
chic or it might not, but anyway, my
proximity juxtaposition, as it were
filled his being with an ineffable hap
piness, a supreme content, a sense of
completeness just like that It wasn't
necessary for mo to talk, I might not
then bo thinking of him.
" 'I assure you that I am not, a good
deal of the-tlme,' I told him.
"'Cruel!' Bays he. 'That, however,
tends to diBposo ot tho thought wave
theory. It must be a sort of subtle
soul emanation.' He looked at mo
wistfully, wonderingly, as bo advanced
that idea. ,
"I suppose I can't help emanating,
but' I can call In the police,' I an
swered. 'It's nenrly eleven now'.
"'Ono day with you,' he breathed
ardently. 'One full, complete day with
you!'
gj tTm fog j --- -
Ban- Was on the Outskirts Beaming Happily.
"That was whore I warned him.
You'd bo sorry if I took you up on
that, Mr. Burr,' I said, t
" 'Try mo,' he replied, with a slow,
saccharine smllo.
,"'Supposo wo say tomorrow, then,'
sa'ys I,
""Auntie, dear, it you had seen tho
look of rapture that Illumined hla
hitherto pensive countenance, you
would havo been touched, and yot
there wbb a shade of Incredulity In It
Ho seemed to suspect a Joker.
" 'I mean It,' I assured him. 'If you
want to tag along with me from early
morn until dewy ovo tomorrow, you're
on.'
We'll ko into tho country ho
orlfed lovfullv. We1!!' take the tnllrt to
a tjwUnt llttlo village that I've often shall uso every influence agalnBt sut
wanted to show you and we'll lunch ragism. Compel us'. Why, the Ideal"
at nbUarro llttlo old-world tavern and
" 'Nay,' I interrupted, 'not with my
consent, aid, encouragement or co
operation wo won't, if you'll overlook
my stammering grammarlug, I begin
to soo now what you want It's a pic
nic with mo as a mere adjunct to the
sceneiy. No, dear friend. 1 said you
might como along with mo, not that 1
would accompany you.'
"'All I ask is to bo allowed to bo
near you,' ho protested.
"'Then eight o'clocK sharp tomor
row morning at tho corner of State
and Madison,' says I.
"Wo met. The first thing that I had
on my list wns cotton voiles. There
was a basement sale on that and I
was the first one at the counter. I
havo reason to bollovo that Mr. Burr
wub second, but I couldn't swoar to
it It didn't tako nio moro thnn thirty
minutes to go through tho ontlro
stock and 'docldo thnt there wasn't a
pleco In It that I'd bo caught doad In.
but It took mo all ot that, because tho
prices certainly woro attractive and
there was quite a mob. When I
, workod my way out Mr. Burr was on
tho outskirts, beaming happily.
" 'This Js great!' ho chuckled, 'I
wouldn't hnvo missed It for worlds.
Whore, do yp G -next?'
"'Third floor,' I replied. 'I'll see
what they've got up there. Hurry!
There's an elevator going up how.'
"I scooted to It and he followod Just
In tlmo to squooze In. Ot course ho
was tho only man creature and ho
looked as it ho felt It deeply, but his
smile wns radiant It didn't tnl;6 me
long to finish with tho voiles, and I
utnrted for thOBo lingerie wnl3ts,
W)mt? Oh, there woro somo bargains,
of course, but nothing in my slzd
worse luck! nnd no small Blzes U nil,
or I'd have takon n chance on onu t6r
vnu.
It was fascinating, looKing ut
Suitors of
Mhzrlwid
5TKENNETT
S
them, though. I must havo spent near
ly an hour thorc, and 1 nearly missed
getting any choice of the belts. Mr.
Burr was still serene, but ho began to
do some of his following with hU eyes
while be anchored hiinqelf on n, stool.
Well, dearie, I took him to ruchhags, I
took him to veilings, I went up to
house furnishings and down to curtain
scrim. I mnrshaled hlra along corri
dors, I wound him around counters, I
Jammed him In elevators and drew
him into surging mobs ot wild-eyed
remnant flonds. By noon his collar
was wilted and deep lines showed
around jits mouth. Ho a3kcd mo then
if it wnsn't about ttmo to go some
where and get lunch.
'"Good gracious!' I said, 'I haven't
time for lUnch. Here, we'll go up into
the jgrocery department and got a foW
samples. They'ro demonstrating a
new kind of bouillon.'
"By two o'clock his smllo had faded
and his eyes were glassy. He dragged
his feet and blghed at Intervals- -H,d
said that wns because ho had two ribs
broken and asked if I was about
through.
" 'Pretty nearly,' I said. 'All I've got
to get now Is some cream bunting and
paper dollies and ribbons nnd hatpins
and sewing silk and a new street hat
and some ruchlng for Aunt Jane and
a pair of gloves and handkerchiefs
and wait till I see what's on the
other lists or do your ribs need at
tention?' " 'I really feel that they need atten
tion,' said Mr. Burr. 'If they don't I
do. But I wouldn't leave for tho uni
verse. PleaBe don't send me away
"'All right, then,' said I. 'Let's go
after the bunting."
"We went through a crowd to get
there," said Mrs. Merriwld, "and Borne
hoy ihe poor fellow, got lost I won
der if I'll over find him again."
CCopyrlght, 1913, by W. G. Chapman.)
Wlso Senator.
Tho senator, who was opposed to
votes for women, found himself cor
nered by an ardent suffragette. His
gallantry would not permit of a brus
que retreat He listened attentively
while she enumerated her
why suffragism should bo
reasons
granted
her Bex.
"Madame," he began when an op
portunity to speak was at last ac
corded hlra, "I am going to let you
into a great secret"
He looked carefully about him and
nbted that they were alone.
"What is it, sonator?" sho inquired
eagerly,
"Your wish will soon, be granted.
Wo aro going to make a law corapef
ling tho women to vote!"
He quivered with intenBlty as ho Im
parted the secret. A cold, ominous
light sprang Into her eyes.
"Oh, you are, aro you?" Bhe fumed.
"Well, wo'l! boo From this day
From this day I
Whereat sho walked angrily away,
leaving the senator to his own pleas
ant reflections. Puck.
White Paper Bad for Eyes.
An electrical authority has attempt
ed an analysis of glare fiom paper. It
is woll known, hosays, that glare In
any of Its forms diminishes tho effect
iveness of an illumination. Wo aro
able to seo printed lottors, because of
tho contrast between tho dark letters
and tho bright background. Tho re
flection from commercial papors is a
combination of diffuse, or widely
spread out, reflection nnd specular,
or mlrrorllko, reflection. The great
er the amount of diffusely reflected
light comparqd with tho specularly re
flected the loss Is tho annoyance from
glaro. Those who have difficulty In
forming an Idea of theso two kinds of
reflection can construct a model ot a
seml-dlffuslng paper by placing a
clear, plane Bheet of glass over a
white mat Burfnco, such as a blotting
paper. Tho glass wll reflect specular,
ly, whllo tho blotting papor reflects
diffusely.
Coaling Plants at Panama.
Tho plan of Col. Goethnls for mak
ing Panama n point of supply of coal,
oil, etc., for shipping Is a splendid fea
ture Several piers 1,000 feet long
will bo built at Bnlbon on the Paclflo
side. Hero also will bo a drydock
with a usablo length of 1.000 feet and
a depth of thlrty-flvo foot, and a coal
ing plant storing and handling 100,000
tons ot coal. Repair shops will be con
strucled which will handle large Jobs
of repair and refitting. At Cristobal
pn tho Atlantic will bo constructed
several piers 1,000 foot in longth and
a largo coal storage plant, capable of
handling und storing from 200,000 to
300,000 tons of coal.
iiH liW HV
I
&IMMEHIM
Trans omiss
Kissed Cousin; Husband
NEW YORK. Title "When Gcorgo
Kisses His CouBin."
Placo West Side Police Court
Skitters in .the Skit George Alex
ius, conductor of an Eighth avenue
surface car. Mrs. Albert Waskuro,
cousin of Georgo. Mr. Albert Wns
kum, indignant husband. Abraham
Jacosvisky, "tho lnnocont bysitter."
Magistrate, court' attendants, police
men, lawyers, rowdies and newspaper
men. '
Mrs. Waskiirn Wo got on the car
at Eighth avenue and Thlrty-sovonth
stroot to go to our apartment in Cen
tral Park West.
Her Lawyer Was tho car crowd
ed?
A. Yes.
Q. When did you first realize that
the conductor was your cousin?
A. Not until he kissed mo.
Q. When had you previously seen
him?
A. Three years before, at our home
in Kansas.
Q. When he kissed you what hap
pened? A. Things happened so fast I can
scarcely describe them. Mr. Waskum,
sitting next to me, suddenly turned
and saw the conductor kissing me.
Q. What did he do?
A. He rose from his seat, drew back
his flat and struck.
Q. Did he hit your cousin?
A. No. George saw, him draw back,
and when the blow came he dodged.
It got Mr. Vlsky there on the eye with
tho mourning band around it.
Mr. Jacosvisky (in a wh'lsper to
court attendant) Don't let her call
me Vlsky, Don't lot addition of in
sult be added to Injury.
Court Attendant Silence and shut
"P..
Her
story.
Lawyer Proceed with your
Panhandling De Luxe Newest "Blow to Tradition
PITTSBURGH, PA. "Panhandling
do Luxe" is the titleof a brochure
a certalnvambltlous young reporter is
pqriously considering publishing. At
the same time, the student of soci
ology or the upllft-of-humanlty enthu
siast might havo received a terrible
wallop to somo of his cherished illus
ions had ho been strolling downtown
last night Here's the- way it hap
pened: Tho reporter felt a discreet touch
on the shoulder as he dashed madly
into a downtown hotel at tho entrance
with tho wicker door, under which
people's feet can be spon.
"Say, bo, mo and me pard Just got
In on a freight from Cleveland. We
ain't had a bite tu eat and we're wait
in' till tho railroad yards open up tu
get us a Job."
"What tho say, whero'd you collect
that make-up?" demanded the aston
ished molder of public opinion.
"Ypu're no bum; you just stepped out
of that taxi and haven't wakened up
from tho night before at the club
yet"
"Now, say, bo," defended the youth.
"Yu see, we ain't no dirty bums. We
Gary's "Glean Face" Prize Winner Backslides
wot's th'
use OF
WACSrilN' W
SELF DU(W
VACATiori?
HICAGO. The flaming red neck
tie which used to cast a crimson
reflection on tho much scrubbed chin
of Andy Hatrack, the Gary bchoolboy
who won tho cleanliness champion
ship of his town, no longer casts a
roseato glow on the Hatrack chin.
Ono reason for this is that, as a Chi
cago judge recently remarked apropos
of dirty faces on growing boys, "dirt
casts no reflection." Another renson
Is that tho necktie is no longer red.
Yes, freedom has marked an awful
change In or rather on Andy and un
less ho falls Into tho lake or a wash
tub before MIbs Laura Knaggs, his
teacher, roturnB from her vacation,
she will not recognize the pupil who
won a red necktie and world-wldo
fame in the clean face contest in the
Gary schools.
Jasper Buys Half of
M3INNATI, O. Jasper Johnson or
L. sintn Oeok. Tenn.. brought a load
of peachee to town the other day. The
Saturday afternoon trade netted hlra
Just $51 for tho fruit. He bought his
wife a new calico gown and the kids
some shoes and decided to spena sun-
day in tho city. He knows bettor now.
With the air of a man who Is de
termined to see all that is to be Been
and to understand it well, no stood
on the opposlto B,iao or me street nna
gazed at tho J4-stpry skyscraper of
an lnauranco company, wnilo Jasper
was thinking bow it stood all over
tho court houso down homo, a neatly
dressed stranger slipped up quietly
bosldo him nnd began to laud the new
building.
"Gee," he ruminated, "it's tough to
own half of that swell building and
havo to sell It for a song Just bo-
cause I have to go to Philadelphia and
will have to hike It If I don't get
somo money somewhere."
It was n downhearted tale of a
busted Grander that Jasper heard
n. w;ite;
H ''r
1 "W
m T'SryvX
1 &m
c
&MaM
f Mi I r.iif .- 'i -r !. . i,tii
J I ' I I - 1.1. -ul-' Ill !'
--iiSs,'")l'in " liilL.'.
1 0 0 frnru tinng
li M f ffg g.
Hits Innocent "Bysitter"
Mrs. Wnskum You see, Albert
didn't know doorgo and George didn't
know Albert. Ho hadn't seen us get
on together, and, not knowing Albert
was my husband, George struck back
at him.
Q. Did he hit him?
A. No. Mr. Vlsky, having been hit
once, naturally got up. He stood up
In tlmo to got George's blow there on
the other eye with tho mourning band
around It
Mr. Jacosvisky Indeed I did. I
couldn't get out nohow.
Court Attendant Shut up and si
lence. Mrs. Wnskum There was quite a
fight. Reminded me of a suffrage
election in Kansas. Women stood up
and screamed, and I tried to sepa
rate George and Albert, bo I could
properly introduce them.
Mr. Waskum Judge, you can read
ily imagine my surprise when I turned
and saw a stceet car conductor kiss
ing my wife. You Bee, George Alex
ius, my wlfo's cousin from Kansas,
came to New York three or four
weeks ago. My wife's folks wroto
us ho was coming, but ho didn't show
up around our apartment He's a
proud sort of boy, nnd rather than put
up on his relatives he took the only
Job ho could find, that of a street car
conductor. I Jmd never seen him un
til I saw him kissing my wife. Natu
rally I struck out at him, and Mr.
Abrahamvisky got in the way.
George Alexius I always hated
persons who would "sponge" on their
wealthy relatives, so when I came
here I didn't go out to see them.
Naturally when I saw my favorite
cousin I kissed her. I shouldn't have
done it, but I was always impulsive
that way. so. I leaned down and
smacke'd her, just to surprise her.
The Magistrate Call the complain
ant. J
Mr. Jacosvisky I'm tho complain
ant Look at my eyes. 1 had 'em
arrested while they was getting In
troduced. I was the innocent by
sitter. I get all the blows.
Mr. Wnskum We apologized to
him after It was all over.
The Magistrate Case dismissed;
next
IWWMKWMMWWVtfWVSV"A
mr hm
ek srre
DAYS
travel clean, Bee?
ring pardner just
Me and me spar
come out o' that
swell boardln' factory there, get it?
I says to a bell-hop, I says, we got to
unwrap this package of soot. So ho
leads us to tho washroom, we strips
down to tho belt and goes through
the motions just like them guys that's
playin' four bucks a day for a brass
bed and a hunting scene on the wall.
"See this here hair cut?" continued
tho lecturer. He exhibited a nicely
trimmed dome, correctly moulded
.about the ears. "Wo gets that in the
free chalts in the Collcgo for Barbers
in Cleveland.
Before the reporter was led out of
his third paroxysm he was gently told
that he had delivered up 17 cents, his
police badge, and two theater passes.
All fcT
Cln.n nnt.n1 1.1 .... A1 K n rwnHA
school starts," he said. "Then Tin
goln' ter buy a cake o' soap."
a Skyscraper for $39
UoqoI! sfi?
THAT wie )
A MICE
-r-vizi-, JL ; bi
DUILDIN'
V,
SUH
foh we
nonet
The Slate Creek peach grower did a
rapid-fire calculation and then tlmo-
r0usly offered to tako the etrangor's
aimre of the building off bis bands
f0r ?39 the total of his roll.
The stranger hesitated to take ad-
vantage of his now-found' friend, not
that the building was not worth a
thousand times as much, ho said, but
ha didn't like to impose on good na-
ture. Jasper told him not to worry
about that end ot tho bargain. Then
the neatly dressed one reluctantly
rnado out a "deed" for one-half of
i the skyscraper, handed it to Jasper,
took tho money and mado himself
scarce.
oiui:u uuuuui iut uub auu una guuu .
from bad to worse. With the depart-""
ure of Miss Knaggs he erased tho
word soap from his vocabulary and
ho remembers water only in connec
tion with thirst Today he is bare
footed and bareheaded. His black
hair hangs In unkempt locks over a
face that would be tanned a nut
brown woro it not for tho action of
Indiana real estate on his complexion.
You are compelled to look a second
time to make dure that Andy is not
wearing stockings at least, and black
ones at thnt
And the necktlel Alas, all the
brightness went out of Its life with
the departure of Miss Knaggs. It
first became spotted, then striped,
then a plaid and Anally tho whole de
sign was lost under a layer of dark
brown which now has turned black.
When asked what he was going to
do when his teacher got back, Andy
grinned through tho grime and dis
played a nickel proudly stored awsy
in the only pocket without holes in
his clothes.
"I'm savin that tlltije day befoxo
Luin v&
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