A
y
i
Costs Less Than a Two-Cent
Postage-Stamp
An averago of less than a cent nnd
a third a pair Is paid for tho ubo of all
our machines In making two-thirds of
tho shoes produced In tho United
Btates assuming that nil our ma
chines arc used. Tho most that can
he paid for tho uso of all our ma
chines In making tho highest-priced
shoes is less than G cents a pair.
Tho averago royalty on all kinds of
shoeB Is less than 2 2-3 cents a pair.
From this wo got our solo return for
tho manufacture and use of tho ma
chines, for sotting thorn up In facto
ries and keeping them In order. You
pay two cents for a postage stamp or
a yea3t-cako and flvo cents for a car
faro and don't miss It. Whero do yotf
got more for your money than In buy
ing a machlno-mado shoo?
Writo us and wo will toll you all
about It Tho United Shoo Machinery
Company, Boston, Mass. Adv.
Thrifty Scot.
Whon Sir John Carr was at Glas
gow, in the year 1807, he was asked
by tho magistrate to give his advlco
concerning tho Inscription to bo
placed on Nolfun's monument, then
Just completed'. Tho knight recom
mended this brief record: "Glasgow
to Nelson."
"Truo," said tho others, "and as
there is a town of Nelson near ub,
wo might add, 'Glasgow to Nelson
nine miles,' so that tho column might
serve for a milestone and a monu
ment." After an orator has reached tho top
ho will not oxprc&s his opinions unless
somo one is willing to pay the oxprcss
charges.
WOMAN'S ILLS
DISAPPEARED
.like Magic after taking Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound.
North Bangor, N. Y. "As I havo
used Lydia E. Pink
ham's Vegetable
Compound with
great benefit I feel
it my duty to writo
and tell you about it
I was ailing from fe
male weakness and
had headache and
backache nearly all
the time. I was later
every month than I
should' havo bo en
end so sick that I had to go to bed.
"Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound has made mo well and these trou
bles have disappeared like magic I
havo recommended the Compound to
many women who have used it success
fully." Mrs. James J. Stacy, R.F.D.
No. 3, North Bangor, N. Y.
-. Another Made Well.
Ann Arbor, Mich. "Lydia E. Pink-
" ham's Vegetable Compound has done
wonders for me. For years I suffered
terribly with hemorrhages and had
pains so intense that sometimes I would
faint away. I had female weakness
;fio bad that I had to doctor all tho timo
-and never found relief until I took
.your remedies to pleaso my husband.
I recommend your wonderful medicine
to all Buffercrs as I think it is a blessing
for all women." Mrs. L. E. Wyckofp,
112 S. Ashley St, Ann Arbor, Mich.
There need be no doubt about tha
ability of this grand old remedy, mado
from tho rootaand herbs of our fields, to
"remedy woman's diseases. Wo possess
-volumes of proof of this fact, enough
to convinco the most skeptical. Why
on't you try it?
'Your Liver
Is Clogged Up
That's Why You'ro Tired Out of Sort
Have No Appetite
CARTER'S LITTLE
1IVER PILLS
will put you right
in a few days.
They d
their duty.
Cure Con
stiontlon.
Biliousness, Indigestion and Sick Headache
SMALL PILL, SMALL DOSE, SMALL PRICE.
Genuine must bear Signature
RPAOPRQ ot lhls PaP" desiring
CHUdnO to bay anything adrer
Used In IU columns should Insist upon baring what
they lisle fur, roluslng all substitutes or Imitations.
Sioux Gity Directory
"Hub of J tho Northwest."
FOR I1K8T SKKVIOK SHIP
RiCE BROTHERS
Llvi RUx-k Commission Merchants at
SIOUX CITY, Chicago or Kansas City
IOWA PHONE'2443 AUTO PHONE 4475
CRAIGHEAD SL CO.
LIVE STOCK COMMISSION MERCHANTS
STOCK YARDS, SIOUX CITY, IOWA
Ask (or ono ot our 1J1S calendars
WALTER- BROS.
Live Stock Commission Merchants
Correspondence, by Mall or Wire
Answered Promptly
SIOUX OITY IOWA
SPOHN MEDICAL CO..
!r"T" i'"i i ( t
J, fl I J '. .
".fsSr F. '
HEatWeW
.4BBasBV724eBV 11 ii.t
JMRf I PILLS.
r W -
UNIQUE WEAPONS OF WAR
Wooden Cannon Have Been Used
With Success In Modern Times by
West Indian Revolutionists.
Anyone familiar with tho construc
tion of modern weapons oi warfaro
and tho high explosives used in them
would naturally supposo a caunon
made of wood would bo of little or no
valuo as a weapon.
Wooden cannons havo been used
with conetdcrablo success, neverthe
less, In reoent revolutions In Cuba,
Haiti and in the Dominican republic.
The wood usod In tho construction
of these crude weapons Is a very
tough variety, having a twisted grain
that curls about the log in such a way
that to split tho timber with tho or
dlnnry means is almost Impossible.
Tho best trees aro selected, nud a
pleco of tho log flvo or six feet in
length and about ono foot iu diameter
is cut. After tho bark has boon re
moved and the log mado round, it is
swung up on a crude truss and a nolo
Is burned Into it from ono end. The
log Is wound with strips of rawhide
cut from tho skin of a steer. When
the cannon is covered with tho strips
of hide, another layor is wound on,
and this 1b continued until tho weapon
has Increased soveral Inches In diam
eter. After tho log Is covered and tho
bore is finished tho weapon is troated
to a hot draft, which tends to con
tract the hido binding and which be
comes almost as strong as wire.
Thcso crude cannonB havo been
used with success In a number of In
stances, and it is astonishing tho num
ber of times they may bo fired boforo
thoy burst or beconio otherwise dis
abled. Harper's Weokly.
All Fopls' Day.
When freakish April lifts tho latch
all wits and wags consider themselves
freo to vent tholr nonseso upon the
victims who them would fool by tholr
tricks. Tho gay Parisian calls such
"April flsh;" In bonnlo Scotland on
this day they mako merry "hunting
tho gowk," whilst In England nnd this
country a man keeps a sharp lookout
lest ho bo caught at a disadvantage by
the Joker who glories in his smartness
if ho only can mako eomo one look
ridiculous. But it is Just as well not
to bo too smart. Tho boomerang has
a wicked habit of coming back. Silly
as All Fools' day custom may seem to
the solemn, It has an ancient ancestry.
Its origin is obscuro, but somewhere
from tho far-off times when those old
Romans felt tho lilt of the vernal equi
nox, nnd went on tho spreo accord-
Ingly, comes the rqlllck which Btlll
trills forth Its merry ditty in our
streets. Deeper still, the calm, con
templative Hindu, for some reason or
other, from time Immemorial has gone
a-foollng on tho flrsl of April. It was
probably from France, whence all
things vivacious come, that Europe got
tho unruly itch for turning this day
Into a comedy of errors.
Women Who Can Do Things.
Gen. Sir Robert Baden-Powell be
lieves in tho woman who can do
things, and the other day ho held up
Lady Baden-Powell us an exponent of
this much-desired art. Tho chief and
founder of the Boy Scout movement
was describing a tour that his wlfo
and he recently mado in Algeria. "I
say Lady Baden-Powell," ho said, "not
bo long ago in what Is the feminine
for short sleeves? scrubbing out a
saucepan. Wo were living tho simple
life in tho desert. We had only one
pan, and that was a saucepan. It
had to do for frying our fish in tho
morning and also for boiling our cof
fee In. After tho lady had done the
fried flsh she had to get some grass
roots and sand and scrub tho pot out
so that we could make our coffee In it.
The lady was quite able to do it, anil
she did It well. She also did the wash
ing. But," General Baden-Powell, add
ed, "I must stand up for tho Scouts
and the mere man she had to fall
back upon me to do the ironing."
Puzzle.
Now Nurse I couldn't answer the
doctor this morning when ho asked If
tho young woman patient who arrived
a short time ago was light-headed.
Other Ditto Why couldn't you an
swer him?
New Nurse Becauso I didn't know
whether he wanted to know If she
wero delirious or if she wore a
blonde,
Peculiar Street Names.
Mexico Is a country of picturesque
street and house names. In the capi
tal aro streets bearing such names ah
"The Lovo of God Street," "Tho Holy
Ghost Street," "PaBS If You Can
Street," "Lost Child Stroot," "Sad In
dian Street" and "Street of tho Wood
Owls."
Important to Mothers
Examine carefully every bottlo of
CASTOUIA, a safe and sure remedy for
Infants and children, and see that it
Bears tho
i&&ffi4&x
Signature
In Uso For Over 30 Yeare.
Children Cry for Fletcher's Caatoria
Parcel Post Adventure.
"I had a tough time delivering tho
mall yesterday," declared tho post
man. "How i as that?"
"Had a bulldog and a chunk of liver
in tho same delivery "
When a woman runs after a man he
tries to lose her, but when she flees
he Is quick to pursue.
HORSE SALE DISTEMPER
You know what you scll'or buy throuKh tho sales has aboijt
?.2?S.,V!5le. in ny to escape SALK STAHI.U DIBTKMPEU.
"SPOHN S Is your truo protection, your only safeeunrd. for
as suro as you treat all your horses with It, you will soon
bo rid or tho disease It acts as a sure preventive no mat
ter how they nro "exposed." W cents and U a bottlo
pnd 110 dozen bottles, nt all trood druggists, horso goods
hOUSeS. Or delivered llV fhn mnnMfnftiiMri
ChemUlt and Bacteriologist, COSHEN, IND.. U S.A.
GOVERNMENT
iilii .lri-l---uuuhQ-JMMWBbiiii iiii in I mm iiiiww"rwnntm-TiwwmwwiWMMitJiiMMMiiMiMWiiiMMiiM iir
This Is tho government's sightseeing train In tho Canal Zono, passing through tho Culebrn cut Tho guide
with megaphono Is explaining things of interest to Vlncont Astor and his party. Mr. Astor hopes his yacht will
be ono of the flrBt vessels to pass through tho completed canal.
MEN OF MANY LANDS
Immigrants at Ellis Island Tell
Why They Came to U. S.
Polish Farm Hand Who Took Years
to Save Passage Money Mussul
man Is Barred Because of Law
Against Polygamy.
Now York. Kills Inland la the sieve
through which Is sifted tho yearning
nllens from the world's four corners.
Sonio come to thlB laud of tho freo
with its Constitution and public
schools, because of intolerable condi
tions in tho land that gave them birth.
Others como from sentimental rea
sons, drawn by the lovo borno for oth
ers gone before. Some and a few
get by Uncle Sam's keen eyed guar
dians come here to escapo tho penal
ties for their misdeeds In other lands.
The others, tho most by far, como
hero to mako money. And of this
latter class some come to stay and
others como resolved to gather wealth
and return from whence they came.
Choosing at random from men of a
half score lands, a New York reporter
learned through the gllb-tongucd inter
preters tho story of why thoy como.
Many others who were asked "Why do
you come?" shook tholr heads and
sullied. Others scowled upon their
questioner with suspicious eyes, fear
ing a harmful motive behind this in
terrogation. Paulo Constantlnl of Athens knows
exactly why ho came to Amorlca.
There was no hesitancy in his answer.
Paulo camo t America with his wlfp
and two children to engage in busi
ness and'mako money.
Joscn Wapowski, the Polish Immi
grant who has Journeyed to America
with a wlfo and flvo chlldn, Is going
to Buffalo, where tn tho Polish col
ony he has many friends who have
preceded him to tho land of golden op
portunity. "In Poland I was a farm Irani and
labored from daybreak until dark and
1 earned hardly enough to feed my
babies," said the sturdy Polo. "Vor
years my friends In Buffalo havo been
Future American Cltlzenn.
writing to mo to como to America,
where they told ran I could mako
more In a weck than I made In almost
two months of labor back homo. I
talked It over with my wlfo and wo
begun to savo what little wo could
We spoilt only what wo wero forced
to and now, after almost flvo years
of hardship, we had enough to pay
our passage and keep us awhile."
Seven strapping Irish sons preceded
Michael O'Connor of Cork to Amorlca.
"The lads are all In Chicago and
they wrote to me that they are doing
well. After tho wife died and my
girl married I thought I had better
Join the lads In Amorlca. I had a
little trucking business In Cork and
I sold out, and I think tho boys and
mo will try trucking in Chicago. It's
getting to bo a sad land Is Ireland All
tho lads aro corning to America, and
only tho od men aro staying behind
and trying to make up tholr minds to
mako tho crossing too.
Alexander Nlckoloff, the Roumanian,
hardly know why he came. Ho is a
mmi of mlddln nun nm ivna infrm-
panlfd by his wlfo and a strapping
uuuKinci. iuw uiui no huh lurneu mu
.BALKS AT BUNKER HILL FILM
Canadian Militia Minister Protests
Yankee Patriotic Scenes In
Theaters.
Ottawa, Ont Tho undue proml
nnco given American scones In Can
adlnn nunlng picture theaters was ob
jected to at a military gathering hero.
Minister of Militia Hughes touched on
the plenitude of American HngB wav
ing In mnny of th reels exhibited.
"My atteutlon was directed to ono
SIGHTSEEING TRAIN
back on Roumanla ho has no desire to
see tho country again.
"I will go to work. I can do any
labor with my hands," ho said. "In
Roumanla I was a shepherd, but it Is
bitter cold, and I could earn but little.
I heard of tho big farms of America,
and I would llko to go to the sheop
country and buy a flock of my own. I
do not want to go back. I want to
stay here."
"I served my country for fiftocn
years," said tho ox-soldier. "I fought
against tho Japanese, and I havo boon
nlmost frozen to death many times.
After my brother begnn to writo how
well ho was doing on his Canadian
fnrm I got to thinking, and so I write
to my biother and said I would eomo
to America and wo would fnrm to
gether. I havo served the czar and
my country, and now I will servo my-
B0lf."
And thero nro many in the course
of a year who como to find tho doors
bolted against them. There was the
gloriously robed Algerian who was
turned from tho threshold. Ho con
fessed to being a Mussulman. That
Creed teaches polygamy. Tho Algo
rlan wns not married, but tho Inspec
tor asked him If ho believed In polyg
amy. Ho replied, "Yes." The law sayH
no nllen who 1b n polygamlst or who
preaches or bollovcB In polygamy shall
enter.
Life Termer Kills Himself.
Lincoln, Neb. Hnlo Frnmpton, sorv
lng a life torm In tho penitentiary
hero for tho murder of his stepdaugh
ter, committed suicide by drinking
wood alcohol. He had been In prison
for VI years nnd feared his application
for pardon wculd be denied.
MEN SWAP THEIR STATUS
Convict Impersonates Accused Man
and Is Acquitted Comrade
Remains In Jail.
Paris. A year ago ono Bretche, who
was serving n sentenco of 13 months
at tho Santo prison, mado tho acquaint
ance of Marcel Faltido, who was await
ing trial on a charge of assaulting a
constnblp. Bretcho, whom a long and
varied acquaintance with the law had
mado something of a legal export, ns
Bured Faltido that his caso would bo
quashed.
"How would It be no.w," ho suggest
ed to his fellow prisoner, whoso Inno
cent measure ho had taken, "If you
woro to behave like a n-al brick and
lot mo take your plnco?"
"What would you give?" asked Fal
tido. "All that I possess," was tho an
swer, nnd with a lino gesture Bretcho
produced an old nickel watch, n pack
et of cheup tobaccd, and a cjgaretto
lighter.
"Done!" said Faltlde.
A few days later Bretche-Faltldo
was tried and acquitted, whllo Faltlde
Bretcho found tho sentence of 13
months confirmed. For ten months ho
stood It, but at last his patience gave
out. Perhaps tho packet of tobacco
was exhausted, or tho watch may havo
stopped. In any chh, Kaltldo went to
tho governor of the prison nnd told his
extraordinary tale
On tho same day Bretcho, ns lurk
would havo It, was arrested for rob
bery with violence. Ills thumb marks
were taken, Hnd found, ot Course, to
correspond exactly with those of tho
pseudo-Brctche, already safely under
lock and key. Tho murder, or rather
tho evasion, was out. Recently tho
trlbunnl condemned tho real Bretche
to the original 13 months' Imprison
ment, and sent him back to prlBon to
await trial on tho second charge. Tho
Ingtnuous Fnltlde was acquitted
TO SELL GRUESOME RELICS
innKcis rrom rung i ncivci rue, in ,
Which 600 Died, to Be Sold
by Auctioneers.
Vienna. At nn uuctlon salo to be
held shortly collectors of gruesomo
relics will hao nn unusually good op
portunity of nddlng to their treasures.
Tim articles to bu sold consist of tho
Juvolry, trinkets and money found
among tho charred and unrecognlzablo
liltmnu rnmntiiH of 291 nerBons who
i perished In the terrible Ring theater
lnstnnco In particular," said tho min
ister, "thut of a film showing the bat
tle of Hunker Hill, whore thero was
flashed on tho canvas n Yankee farm
er bayoneting u British ledcoat.
"In audi cases nu thai I would sug
gest warning tho proprietor of ltd un
defalrnblllty, nnd, that falling, thero Is
always a wuy of getting it stopped,"
Pays for an Old Ride.
Tocoma, Wash - AssertfnB that his
conscience had troubled him for six
years, J J Pelton of Los Augeles sent
ON ISTHMUS
BACK TO PURITANICAL DAYS
Mayor Blankenbura of Philadelphia
Calls Town Meeting to Tell
His Troubles.
Philadelphia. Uudolph Blankon
burg, tho reform mayor, harked back
to tho old puritanical days recently
when ho called a town mooting tor tho
purposo of tolling tho populnco how
tho politicians knaves ho calls them
blocked his every movo.
Tho town meeting was held In tho
Academy ot Music. Tho academy was
Mayor Rudolph Dlsnr.ejhJ-g.
hired by tho mayor at his own ex
pense. Ho had tho entire city pa
pered requesting tho voters to attend
the meeting. Ho says ho proposon to
hold up to tho public view tho acts ot
various political bosses of Philadel
phia. -
fire of December 8, 1811, whon COO
lives were lost.
Tho vnlunblos roscuod from this
mass of charred humanity woro care
fully deposited In court until tho term
of thirty yoars, which tho Austrian
law prescribes bofore death can bo
presumed, hnd clapsod. And now, after
all thpso years, theso pathotlc memen
toes will come under the auctioneer's
hammer In tho "Dorotheum," tho atnto
pawnshop nnd auction rooms.
Their Intrinsic value Is but small; In
deed several of the 67 lots nro entered
as -starting prices for tho bidders nt
ono, two or throe crowriB. Bnttored
wntches, broken rings and enrrlngB,
half melted bracelets, pendants and
lockets containing unrccognizablo por
traits, together with half a dozen
purses nnd somo loose coins, mnko up
tho catnlguo. Somo of tho watches
nre entirely melted on ono sldo, whllo
on tho other tho dials aro qulto legi
ble. It would bo dlfllcult to And nnywhoro
a collection of relics awakening more
sad memories, and ono wondors, In
deed, if It wero renlly necessary to re
call suclf a shocking catnstropho by
this auction of the Dorotheum.
HAS A BRIDELESS HONEYMOON
Julius Worz Broke Ankle Proposing,
Poisoned at Wedding Supper and
Wife Misses Ship.
New York. Bad luck haB followed
Julius Worz, a Dutch tobacco mer
chant, over slnco ho courted Henrlettu
Krhnrdt. Kven marriage did not kill
the hoodoo, and recently Julius nr
rived hero on tlio steamship Rotter
dam on his honoymocn trip without n
bride.
"What Is It, you say, that I nm 'In
Dutch.' Well, I guess It must bo so.
When I first called on Miss Erhnrdt
In Haarlem a black cat crossed my
path, and ovcrythlng has gone wrong
since.
"Tho day I proposed I slipped and
sprained my ankle. I was carried Into
the houiiu and asked MIbs Krhnrdt to
bo my wife. Sho occeptod and then
was UI for a month Wo wero mar.
rlcd and I got ptomaine poisoning at
tho wedding supper.
"Just boforo sailing from Rotterdam
by wlfo missed something from her
handbag. She went buck to gut It
and then missed tho ship"
Ho will await her arrival on anothor
vessel.
$5 to Claude Meldrum, assistant gen
oral pusscnger agent of tho Great
Northern railway, as compensation for
a rldo ho says ho stolo on a Great
Northern train between Scnttlo and
Wcnatchoo In 1000.
Tho writer Bays he doesn't remem
ber tho exuet faro botwoeu tho polnta
ot tho rldo, but ho send? uufllclent
money to bo certain ot covering tho-
i expense.
I "I request that you glyo mo credU
I for this omount," ho wrote, "and vaf
I mind will bo easier."
SroRiE
ATwSsl&l
PtJlSSi
CAM
AND
WHILE MARCHING TO THE SEA
Southern Planter Tells General Sher
man Had Never Heard of Wis
consln or Minnesota.
Thoro was nt the tlmo of tho Civil
war a lack of information in tho
south relative to tho strength and re
sources of tho north. Georgo Haven
Putnnm In his now book, "Abraham
Lincoln," tolls of a conversation Goii
crnl Sherman had with a courtly old
planter at whoso flno mansion the gen
eral and somo of his stuff had stopped
ono noon on tho march to tho Ben. Tho
old plantor talked with Sherman about
tho causes of tho war, and finally,
pointing to some of the pnsslng union
troops, asked what stnto thoy camo
from. Sherman loaned over tho porch
and told tho men to throw out tholr
flag. They did so, nnd Sherman, turn
ing to his venerable host, remarked:
"Thoy nro tho Thirtieth Wisconsin."
"Wisconsin?" said tho plnntor. "Wis
consin? Whero Is Wisconsin?"
"It is ono of tho states ot tho north
west," said Shormnn.
"Whon 1 was studying geography,"
Bald tho planter, "I know of Wiscon
sin simply as tho namo of n trlbo ot
Indians. How many men nre thoro In
that regiment?"
"Well, thoro woro n thousand whon
they started," said Sherman.
"Do you moan," asked tho plantor,
"that there Is a stnto called Wiscon
sin that has sent 30,000 men into your
armies?"
"Oh, probably 40,000," answorod
Sherman.
With tho noxt body of troops the
questions nnd answers wero ropated.
Tho flag was that of tho Thirty-second
Minnesota. Tho old plnntor had never
heard that thoro was such' a stnto.
"My God!" he exclaimed when ho had
figured out the thousands of mon who
had como to tho front from Ihoso so
called Indian territories to maintain
tho existence of tho nation, "if wo In
tho south had known that you had
turned those Indian territories into
great states we novor would havo gon
Into this war."
"Tho incident," roraarkn tho author,
"throws a light upon tho stnto ot mind
of men, oven of well educated mou In
the south, at tho outbreak of the war.
. . . It was their feeling that In
tho coming contest thoy would hav
to deal only with Now England and
tho middle states."
WHICH WAS THE PRISONER
Queer Experience of Federal and Con
federate Soldiers While Endeavor.
Ing to Make Escapes.
In the Bocond battlo for tho posses
slon ot tho Woldon railroad, which
was fought on August 19, 1864, a con
tain Massachusetts regiment suddenly
found the woods In Its rear filled witk
Confodorato troops. The wildest cor.
fimlou ensued. Every man looked out
for himself. Among them was a cer
tain sergeant who started to tho roar
toward his batterlos, the situation o;
which ho determined from tho lino o!
(Iro.
Ho hnd gone but a Bhort dlstanc
when ho mot a Confederate soldier
Rooking safety In tho opposite dlrno
Hon. Both, of courso, woro nrmod.
"Halt!" commandod tho sergeant
Tho Confederate came to a, full
itop, but promptly called upan tin
Yankeo to surrender.
"Not I!" returned tho Borgeant.,
"It's no uso to stand out," snld th
other. "Our troops will soon bt
along In force, und you'll bo taken any
wny." Not being nnxlous to llvo oi
short rations nt a southern prison
tho Hnrgontit Btlll refused to surron
der.
"I toll you what," ho said, at last
"we'll settle It this way. We'll botr
put our guns on the ground nnd Hi
down beside them. If tho Confcder
rites come llrst, I'll surrender to you
Hut If tho Union troops como nlon
first, you surrendor to mo."
"All right," suld tho othor.
Both throw tholr guns down ant
droppod beside them. Tho Union bat
terles woro Btlll playing on the woods
and tho nlr was filled with burstlni
shells. The two men hugged tin
ground as close as thoy could. Al
last, after tho flrlng began to flag t
little, a squad of Federal Holdlen
rnmo along.
"You've got me, Yank!" tho Con
federate ndmlttod. And togothor the
sergeant and his prlsonor rushed tc
tho rear, away from the thundor of th
Union guns. Youth's Companion.
On the Picket Line.
A Scotchman was accosted by t
picket,
"Who aro you?" challenged tho sol
(Her.
"I'm flno," nnswored Sandy. "Hoo'j
yerBoP?"
Not Enough Mutuality.
"Did you'nlls see dat boss do Colo
nel dun tol' yo' to git fur htm?" asked
ono regimental cook of anothor,
"Yes, 1 seed him, but dar was no
niutunllty."
"What does yo'-all mean, nlggah?'
"Dnr was no mutuality. I seed
criuifr ob dn boss, but do Iiobb didn't
seo ernuff ob mo, Ho wnB blln' in
duo eye "
Nothing Doing.
"Aro you going abroad?"
"No; my means nro too narrow."
Family Vs. Military.
A prominent New Yorker, whoso
son was serving In the army of the
I'olomno and who had u largo Idea
of his own Importance, sent this to
fieri. Hooker
"Plenso nllow my son to rottirn at
Diieo; urgent family reasons"
Hooker nnsworod It lnconlcnlly:
"Son can not return nt nil, urgent
military rensons,"
Dally Thought.
Tho bent way to teach n virtue Is
to llvo it -l'aul U I'rothliichnui,
wMc
THOSE RHEUMATIC
TWINGES
Much of tho rheu
matic pain that
comes in damn.
'changing weather Js'
the work ot uric
acid crystals.
Needles couldn't
cut, tear or hurt any
Trorss when the af
fected muscle joint
is used.
If such attacks aro
marked with head
ncho, backache, du
llness and disturb
ances of tho urine,
it's time to help tho
weakened kidneys.
Doan's Kidney
Pills quickly help
sick kidneys.
An Ovtrfnn Csm
John n. Msttliens. ir But jrirst Bt., Tbf ,'
PU, Ors.. says! "M, back chfd so leonld ,
hTUlr sloop or straighten. Tn kidisr score- 1
iiuus pmmo pnnnw, oDiifing roo to ansa
manrtlmai anient and trie passages wero Terr
ralntnl. Mr kidneys became so rtHonlf red that I
went right to the sa ot tho trouble and tot
or er three years my core has been permanent.''
Get Doan's at Any Store, EOe a Box
DOAN'S KlPfLVsY
rOSTEW.MILBURN CO.. Buffalo, New York
SHAKE INTO YOUR SHOES
Allen's Fmr'Itefe.tboanUitpUo powder. ItreUevM '
Mlnfal.smartlnf, tender, nerroasfeet,ana Instantly
takes the sUng out of corns and bunions. It's the
treatest comfort dUoorerrot thence. Allan's toot
Base makes tight or new shoes feel eair. H Is
certain reUef for sweating', callous, swollon, Urea,
achlnf foot Always use It to Break la Mew Shoea,
Try It (oday. Sold ererywhere. 35 cents. Dml
ettpt any rubttUutt. For FRHB trial paokaga,
atoms Allen B. Olmettd, r Roy, K, T.
Meat-Bearlna Tree.
In Mexico grows a treo called the
Avocado, whoso pear-shaped fruit it
ropuled to bo composed ot tho sub
Btanco which aro to bo found in moat.
It contains about twenty por cent of
fat and many other ingredients ot
great food value, nnd ono good-sized
"meat" pear is quite sufficient to make
t meal for the average man.
Tho rcanon why tho fruit is so little
known at present is becauso It is
grown nowhero on a largo scalo, what
few trcos thoro aro grow round tho
huts of tho, natives, whoro thoy flour
lush with ltttlo caro nnd afford easy
meals for tho indolent owners.
Cultivated on extenslvo lines it
might havo an Important bearing on
that serious BUbjcct, tho high cost of
living.
1
If We 8aw the Beyond.
Now I do not for a moment bollovo
that, If those mysterious portals were
flung wido, and wo could soo without
htndoranco all the secrets of tho great
boyond, wo should necessarily bo clth,
or hotter or happier. On tho contrary,
tho probability is that, average hu
man naturo being what it is, sacred
realities would bo degraded to tho or
dinary levels of tho human intcrcourso
in this world; in our knowlodgo of Ufa
wo cannot rls'o above what -wo nre.
What is wanted Is a certain quality of
life itself which will carry with it tho
assurance of tho nenrnoss and swoot
dosb of the host and highest In tho
eternal kingdom ot lovo.
Not the 8ame.
Thoy wero strolling through iho
woodbind.
"Yes," the youthful professor wnB
saying, "It Is a very slmplo matter to f
tell tho various kinds ot trees by tho
barks."
She gazed at him soultully.
"How wonderful!" sho exclaimed.
"And can you or tell tho various
kinds of dogs that way?" Llppln
cott'3. '
Hard Enough Single.
"That young man has about the
hardest Job In tho world."
"What is ho doing?"
"Trying to lead a doublo Ufa on $20
a week."
Its Kind.
"I mot a man yesterday who offered
mo an unspcnkablo Insult."
"Why wns it unspeakable?"
"Ho was dumb and had to spoil it
out on his fingers."
His View.
"Do you bellovo thut every man haa
bis pried?"
"No, but I shouldn't bo surprised If
every man wanted It."
Unavoidable.
Jaue Would you marry a man who
was your Inferior?
Mary If I marry at all,
V
Detachable.
'Is ihor hair a crown of glory?"
' "Yes, and every night sho abdi
cates." Town ToplcB.
FRIENDS HELP.
St. Paul Park Incident.
"After drinking coffoo for breakfast
t always felt languid and dull, having
no ambition to got to my morning
duties. Then in about an hour or so
a weak, nervous dornngomont of the
heart and stomach would como over
mo with such forco I would frequently
havo to lio down."
Tea is Just us harmful, because It
contains caffeine, tbo Bamo drug found
in coffee.
"At othor times I had sovere head
aches; stomach finally becamo affoct
cd and dlgostion so impaired that I
had soriouB chronic dyspepsia and
constipation. A lady, for many years
State President of tho W. C. T. U.,
told mo sho had beon greatly ben
efited by quitting coffoo and using
I'ostum; sho was troubled for years
with asthma. Sho said It was no
cross to quit coffeo when sho found
sho could havo as dollcloua an
articlo n3 Postura.
"Another ludy who had beon trou
bled with chronlo dyspopsla for years,
found lmmedlato roliot on ceasing cof
feo nnd using Posturn. Still anothor
friend told mo that Postum wob a
Godocnd, her heart troublo having
boen rollovcd aftor leavlug off coffee
and taking on Postum.
"So many such cases camo to my
notlco that I concluded coffeo wns the
causo of my troublo and I quit and
took up Postum. I am moro than
pleahod to Bay that ray days of trou
ble havo disappeared. I am well and
happy."
Look in pkga. for tho famou3 llttlo
book, "Tho Road to Wollvlllo."
15cr read tho above Ictterf A new
ono iiimriirn from time to time. They
mVBaiaam ntre
Katlir T"'
wllgF Btrr"
nre iccnuiucs true, sua auu oi
IBaT'