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DAKOTA CITY HERALD
JOHN H. REAM, Publisher.
DAKOTA CITY,
NEBRASKA.
UNBUSINESSLIKE BUSINESS.
Tho New York stnto employers' lia
bility commission baa submitted a
carefully prepared report showing a
icairtul "waste of human life In Indun
(trial pursuits. Somo loss of llfo In
modern Industry may bo reckoned as
unavoidable, but tho far greater pro
portion of tho Iobs which is sustained
Is tho result of unnecessary condi
tions. It is tho direct result of a lack
wf safety appliances and of overwork
ing employes to the rolnt of physical
exhaustion. It Is a result of unjust II-
Cblllty laws and legislative negligence,
ays tho Kansas City Times. If scnti
tnont has no place In business an
(untenable proposition in ltsolf at
Jleast business ought to bo business
Ilka It is demonstrably not good
business to permit avoidable killing
of industrial workers and then spend
vast sums in caring for families bereft
of natural support It Is not good
business, oven though tho children aro,
not neglected, with tho chances in fa-.
Tor of their becoming vicious or Idlo,
citizens. Stricter employers' liability,
en automatically applied workmen's
compensation for Injury or death, and
'direct industrial Insurance aro all in
auramo measures. They provldo funds
for th 9 'support of injured workmen
or of their wives and children. They
Also encourago safety provisions. Such
Insurance costs would bo diffused
jamoijp all tho people as taxes and
jflro Insurance or diffused by being
added to tho cost of tho business.
(That diffused cost would bo a prac
tical impalpablo burden upon society.
' Birds have an excellent time in
jjapnn and our own agriculturists
(would do well to cmulato tho treat-'
jmont mctcd out by their eastern con
freres to such birds as tho swallow
and martin, says tho Wido World.
With a skilled appreciation of tho part
these feathered friends play In rela
tion to their crops by keeping down
tho insect pests, they exert every ef
fort to protect them and to encourago
Jthcm to propagato their kind. Is It to
jbo wondered at that thla aentlmontal
but withal eminently practical nation
reverences tho swallows as mcssen-
gers to tho goda and invites them to'
build their nests not only under eaves
and rafters, but in every and any room
of tho houso? In tho hotel dining1
room wero soveral nests, whero tho'
Ihappy parents reared their families in
complete safety.
There has been much tnlk regarding
tho selection of a national flower. Has
It all been wasted? Tho Brooklyn
jEaglo remarks upon tho indisputable
fact that ihoro la no authority In tho
Constitution for tho selection of a na
tional flower. Howover, a great many
Jthfngs have como to bo lu this country
without specific constitutional au
thority. There Is, for lnstanco, a na-i
tlonal bird, tho American eagle. Thoro
lis "Undo 8am" and thoro is "Miss Co
lumbia," with no authority for either,,
excopt tho self-assured authority of
tho cartoonists. But thcBo aro things
upon which evrybody Is agreed.
jThero Is not likely to bo a national
jfiower until everybody is agreed upon1
It In tho meantime, fortunatoly, tho1
country can afford to wait
Scientists report that Hnlley'a comet
is 600,000,000 miles distant from tho
pun, and it It were really the cauBo of
the recent heat waves, nobody cares
If II gets 500,000,000 more silica away,
(or even If It gets lost in the outermost,
bounds of the solar system.
One of the doctors connected with
the health department says that 60
per cent ct tbo dogs that bite people
are afflicted with acute rabies. This
Is a good time to round up tho dugs
that aro permitted to run about un
muzzled. Edison's latest invention consists of
moving pictures that talk. It thla
keeps up our actors will bo forced to
80 to work. However, chorus glrla
arc not half no alluring when shown
on a screen.
Tho doctors report that tho poison
ous secretion In the glands of toads is
a powerful heart stimulant A. good'
many people will want somo other
kind of a stimulant when their hearts
got sluggish.
Will tho stocking mills of New Eng
land run up prices or diminish tho out-i
put on tho excuse that tho advont or,
postal savings banks has cut off thai
demand for their goods as coin de-i
posltoriesT
There is to be established la Bos
ton a hospital In which nono but rich
people will be provided tor. Nurses)
who expect to got jobs there will1
probably have to pay bonuses for their
berths.
Being stung by a bee is not a pleas
ant pastime, but the atldfe of the presi
dential bee U welcomed with great en-,
thuslasm by a good many of our pa
triot. A Quincy, Mass., school teacher has
resigned after C6 years of telling chil
dren not to say "ain't" and all In
vain.
A Now York judge has fined a wom
an f 33.4G for contempt of court Prob
ably on the theory that a bargain
counter price would appeal to her.
An Ohio hen has adopted a Utter ot
kUfpna. She was probably fooled by
their ability to scratch tor themselves.
true
The Golden Junk-Pile
&
By BERNARD MEER
(Copyright, by
HE door of tho barrel
houso opened and Snag
gles, tho hobo, was him
tied into tho atrcct. It
was not an occurrence
narticularly painful to
tho personal dignity of Snaggles, be
causo ho was used to It. From Minne
apolis to Jacksonville, from Boston to
San Francisco, and nt all tno raiiroau
points between, ho had been tho un
complaining subject of similar atten
tions, which were philosophically ac
cepted by him as part of tho unpleas
ant aspect of his profession.
To bo flung from a comfortnblo
barrel houso on n nippy autumn eve
ning, for no fault of your own, if It
be not your falluro to havo collected
your customary tax from tho stray
mombora of tho body politic whoso
duty and pleasure it is to provide
for tho needs of tho unaogrcgatcd in
digent, may not bo especially depress
ing to tho finer sensibilities of a man,
but It is nevertheless a temporary In
convenience. It lmplieo tho grlrn
noccsslty of certain muscular move
ments, and a certain quantity of men
tal work by no means Joyful when tho
collection of direct taxes is tho prin
cipal purposo of tho labor. And
when Snaggles, standing on tho ulti
mate edgo ot tho aldowalk, shifting
himself from ono foot to tho other, nnd
glancing along tho vista ot the trcet
from right to loft nnd from left to
right, computed his chances for rnls
log tho wind, his mind wns a trlfio
perturbed.
Earlier In tho day Snaggles had ar
rived In tho freight yards nt Chicago
after a highly unsatisfactory trip
from Saint Paul, during tho course of
which ho had been manhandled by
various ovor-actlve nndzoaloua guar
dians of the proper of railroads;
and his collections, since his advent
In tho town, Jiad been annoylngly If
not distressingly light. Tho people to
whoso sympathies ho had appealed,
with that pungent story of just hav
ing boon released from tho hospital,
had boeri apparently deaf and blind.
Tho koepors of outlying taverns had
automatically waved him away the
moment ho camo In their sight. Blue
garbed watch-dogs of tho peaco had
eyed him with unusual interest nnd
Imminence; and oven tho natural
dogs ho had mot with, vagabond anC
outcast themselves, had snarled at
him as ho passed them.
Now when tho barrel house, your
last available retreat In an uptodato
nnd wldo-nwako condition of human
Eocloty, flings you Into the street as
an object altogothor too heavy and
cumbersome for tho traffic, your so
cial problems becomo personal nnd
pressing. And that was tho reason
why Snaggles, though looking with
oxpoctnut eye In cither direction
along tho parallol Hno3 of warm and
brilliant dons from which hla appear
ance and hla poverty excluded him,
wna disponed 16 grumblo a little at tho
tlnbby condition of tho universe In
general and tho manifold shams of
man. Monoy, as a visible- and tangi
ble entity, appeared to havo been
wholly eliminated from tho transac
tions of tho human kind.
Miles away from tho spot In tho
slums whero Snaggles waB standing
tho light from an ashlar pulucu
streamed through glistening windows
on tho trees and shrubbery of a
boulovard; and at the carriage door
of tho palaco a huge auto car was
breathing lmpatlontly ns It It woro
eager for tho touches of tho man that
was lolling at tho wheel. The car
had boon waiting long, and tho wheel
mnn, although theoretically a part ot
tho machine, and generally assumed
to bo devoid of all human falllnga
whatever, had begun to complain and
to curso under his breath at tho per
vorso and diabolical malice, or tho
criminal neglect und apathy ot his
employers.
"I hope they'll choko In thoro," ho
said, "whatever It Is tnoy'ro talking
about! I wonder if they think a man
nln't got a thing to do but wait
around for 'em In tho cold till thoy'ro
good nnd ready to got I broke a dato
at the theater but hero thoy como
now!"
Warm light nnd tho sound of voices
raised to an excited pitch poured
through the open doorway Thwre wns
a confuBod shuffling of feot nnd an In
toval of dead stlonco. Tho silence was
broken by commingled notes ot dis
gust, disapproval, contradiction nnd
disappointment, giving evidence of
prosonco of soveral men and women
all talking nt onco or all silent at
onco. And then tho clonr volco of a
man rane out, almost lit auger.
"Joimlo, I forbid you "
"Forbid fudgo!" querulously an
sworod tho volco ot a lady. "Forbid
fiddlesticks, Randolph I Do you Im
agine that I am going to bo a fool
just becauso you nro ono yourself?
Great Heavens, husband, wo havo
only threo hours left I Don't you touch
mo, Randolph, or I'll Bcronm! Do you
comprehond? I'll scream. I'm per
fectly calm, but I'll scream. I'll
scream on tho spot."
Tho cracked domonlac laugh of a
man floated out of tho doorway, and
was followed b tho lady of tho volco
herself. She paused a moment and
spoke to Bomoono within.
"Como on, Mr. Huntley! You know
I havo n right to do this, no matter
what ho says."
The lady was rospcctfully obeyod
by a clean-cut elderly gontloman with
a beamy poacoful faco aud a restful
eyo, and then by a younger nnd moro
fashionable follow, who poromptorlly
ordered the chauffeur to bo gono, and
took tho place at tho wheel himself.
As tho lady was about to enter tho
car eho was manifestly troubled In
spirit aud sbo spoko to the young
man who had substituted himself for
tho chauffeur.
"Dear mo, Robert, vhcro nro you
going to take ua?"
"Leave it to mo, Jennlo! You and
Mr. Huntley just got In, .and I'll do
tho rest of it Don't wnato"nny timo
talking, Jonnio. act In, both of you I"
Tho machine was already shudder
ing, but tho elderly gentleman leaned
16
m
jS
Joacph li, Bowles.)
forward before entering, and whin
pored n few words In tho enr of tho
wheelman, who lifted his head and in
stinctively recoiled, as If from a high
ly dlsagrccnblo order or luquc&t.
"What7 Not to that placo7 Not
there! No!"
"Yes," firmly replied tho elderly
gentleman, with n sereno smile. "I
InclBt upon It. I will tell ou when
to stop."
Tho car shot out Into tho boulo
vnrd nnd loudly purred at danger
speed along tho quiet, smooth icftdway,
leaving tho arc lamps bohlnd it as If
they wero ono long continuous streak
of whiteness. In Its crazy raco to the
city tho hugo machlno rocked llko a
Pullman and startled tho world with
tho fury of Its speed. Mounted pollco
inon vainly cried out at It, pedestrians
stared after It with opon mouths,
quiet dwellers In peaceful homes start
ed up at tho sound of It, drivers of
horses swore nt It, nnd other speed
ers on tho way grunted as It passed
them, and muttored, "That boy is go
ing some, Isn't ho?"
Going ho undoubtedly wbb, for with
in u very fow minutes after Snaggles
had taken up his position at tho curb
tho glittering, fuming car was stand
ing before him, and the temporary
chauffeur was addressing him In a
loud imperious volco.
"Aro you a hobo?"
Snaggles stared at tho man ub if he
nnd tho car had fallen out of tho
sky.
"Eh?"
"Aro you a hobo, I say? Can't you
answer me?"
"Yes."
"Clean down nnd out? Clean bust
ed?" "Yes. Don't I look it?"
"Then got in there, quick!"
Tho door of tho car meanwhile had
been opened, and Mr. Huntley, with
hoad well out, was watching and lis
tening with the utmost attention.
Snuggles, In a porfoct whirl of con
tusion, was still staring at tho glit
tering outfit, tho handsomo and rich
ly garbed woman within it, and tho
kindly faced gentleman nt the door.
What did it mean? ho thought. Was
this a reformed method of arrest they
had adopted here in Chicago since his
lar.t nojourn In the place, and it not,
why did they want him to get Into
that nutomobilo with tho lndy in
thoro him who had never been In
vited to tako a scat In anything moro
gorgeoiiB than a patrol wngon or n
black marla? Get Into that thing?
What for?
"Got In thcro, will
don't, I'll como down
ion?, If
you
and
to
you
throw you In!"
IIo mndo a Bwlft calculation on tho
enormous shoulders of tho wheelman;
ho looked at tho threatening frown
on his faco, and hoi daintily stepped
into tho car.
"How do you do, Mr. Hobo," said
tho lady, taking his hnud In her own
nnd warmly pressing It. "Bo seated.
No. You must sit here, right hero,
next to me!"
Snagglea had thoughts. The touch
of tho volvcty glovo, tho elusive, al
most Imperceptible fragrance that
camo from her, his proximity to tho
costly furs that she woro, and the
sight and cv.-ish of her skirts beside
him, as sho drew thorn nsldo to make
room for him on tho soft and puffy
upholstery, produced n peculiar thrill
In tho region of his solar ploxus. And
those Impressions wore rendered moro
complex and problematical by tho sen
sations that swept through him from
tho motion of the machine, which had
turned Its head and was racing away
to tho south under tho skillful touches
of Its mnster.
Bnasales wan not a psychologist,
but ho had his own spoclnl formulao,
mostly in tho lingo of tho road, for
tho connotation of tho vnrlous atti
tudes and amplitudes of his mind, and
his formula for this occasion wns
characteristically simple and brief.
"Geo!" said Snaggles, as ho looked
into tho eyes of tho lady at his sldo,
and opened wldo his own eyes In tho
overflow of hln feelings when nho
smiled at him llko a goddess that
had boon mndo Into Ilesh.
Tho lady oxprossoa a wish to know
hlB name. Ills namo? Well. hlB namo
was Snaggles. Snaggles? What a
quaint namo to bo sure! Was It his
patronym? Well, no. H wasn't ex
actly that. It was his teoth. His
right nnmo wbb Dalr.ioy, Quincy Do
coureoy Uolnncoy. Charming! And
how had ho happened to change It?
But tho auto car had nlieady drawn
up hoforo tho nshlnr palaco in tho
boulovard, and Snaggles was escorted
through u richly furnished reception
room and hall Into a largo and bril
liant npnitment, whero a cluctiir nf
eight or ten persons woro waiting In a
statu of obvious anticipation. As ho
entered tho room ho was announced
by tho goddess to tho other goddesses
nnd gods In this mysterious heaven of
an Olympus, and was cordially re
ceived by them all.
Tho mon camo forward and grasped
his hands, and tho women embarrass
ed him with their attentions. Ho was
in.i . ,..,.. ... , . . .
tun iu tmur mm women mm con
siderably, so comfortable and easy
wns Its architecture, and nB ho re
cllcd In Its soft embraces ho had time
to tako stock of tho general character
of his utrango nnd lnscrutablo hosts.
Men and women thoy wero In all
Btngca of llfo, from smooth and rosy
youth t- wrinkled und flabby ago.
Somo wore handsomo and healthy,
somo woro ugly nud 111, but all of
thorn by their manner and appearance
wero unmistakably of that class of
portions that know what It means to
bo rich. Thoro wero two things, how
over, that puzzled him, and that puz
zled him moro than all tho other mys
terious events of this remnrkablo
night. Tho first of these wns the
closo prosonco, on either Bide of his
chair, of tho kindly fncod elderly gen
tlemnn and tllat ot a younger com
panlon. who wero atnndtnir as a Rnrt
Lot guard ovor him, carefully watching
mu uiuum oi mo company, and pay
'lng particular attention to every syl
lablo addressed by any of tho com
pany to tho guest of tho evening, who
web apparently Snaggles himself,
The other thing that puzzled him was
tho unconcealed anxiety and impa
tience of nearly everybody in the
plnco with concern to tho hour nnd
rnlnuto of tho night. Thoy seemed
to bo constantly consulting tholr
watches, and giving vent to Incoher
ent mutterlngs nnd rumblings of dis
satisfaction that Snnggles could nut
understand.
Ho had scarcely becomo wnrm In
the chair when tho young man who
had played the part of chauffeur
came over to him and with n vain
pretence nt good fellowship touched
him lightly on the shoulder.
"Bath, old boy?" ho said. "How
would you llko a bath?"
Beforo ho could mrfko a reply, tho
former chauffeur, with tho assistance
of ono of his younger and vigorous
frienda, took Snaggles by the arm and
led him up n gorgcouB stnlr, nnd Into
a Bhlnlng raarblo bathroom, curiously
heavy with tho scent of strangely per
fumed soaps and other mysterious
materials of luxury, and hung with a
wonderful varioty of towels and
brushes, tho like of which had nover
beforo been seen by tho human eye.
At his elbow, meanwhile, had follow
ed tho kindly faced gentleman and his
younger companion, who remained In
tho bathroom whllo tho two young
gentlemen, with tho eklll of profes
sional rubbers, rapidly stripped the
hobo, showered him, scraped him and
scrubbed him with Boap and rough
ransses of fibre, sprayed him, dipped
him in tho refreshing waters of the
fool that shimmered in tho corner,
and rubbed him down with invigorat
ing coarse towels. And then, as if to
complete tho work of their hands,
they escortod him naked to a pleas
ant apartment nearby, shaved him
clean, porfumed him, gave him soft
and fleecy garments, white shirt nnd
stiff high collar, patent leather shoes,
and a full outfit of evening clothes
fiom tho tlo to tho flower at tho but
tonhole. Whon this was dono tho
former chauffeur jovially nudged him
In the breast.
"Coursey, old boy, you're a new
h teA &
. i--- h nt: --!
Y .'
i
DAYS
HOBO
man now, nnd we'd llko to havo the
honor of entertaining you at supper."
Ho was led by tho four men down
tho stnlrway und Into a Boftly illumln
nted dining room, where a table deco
rated with roses and wax tapors, and
equipped for tho sorvlco of a single
eater, was waiting. Hero, after tho
administration of bland insidious
cocktnlls, thoy fed him with five or
six courses of daintily cooked food,
each ono of which, reinforced by Its
appropriate wine, stimulated his ap
potlto for tho ono thnt was to follow.
Rare German clarets, generous nut
flavored sherries, port as old nB the
BrnganzaB and as thick as the blood
of an ox, and subtlo champagne from
the right place in Franco, mingled
their .plrlts with those of the Invig
orating food until SnaggleB's face
glowed with tho life that was bound
ing through his blood vesselB. And
then thoy led him back to the great
salon of tho palace and tendered him
an open box of cigars.
Tho physical outward transforma
tion of Snaggles was not more mira
culous than that which had transpired
within him. Already ho had begun to
foci that this was tho normal, natural
conditio!, of his mind and body, and
thnt theso wero the Biinoundlngs to
which he had been nccustomed from
hla birth. True, ho was a trltlo con
strained whon ho thought of convers
ing at his enso, a constraint that was
by no means relieved by tho Increas
ing nnxloty of his new found friends,
on whoso faces was written a nervous
and irritable impntionco that grow
with tho passing of tho hours, Snng
gles could not help being struck again
with tho closo watch that was main
tained over him by his two mysterious
guards, nnd the curious consultation
of tholr watches by tho company in
general, tho members of which seem
ed to be nrgulng among themselves
In low nnd angry voices, out of which
would emcrgo occasionally some
strange remark about an absent ono.
"Hang tho old fool!" snld ono of
them In a touo of dlBgust. "Why
couldn't ho act, llko a gentleman In
stead ot putting ub to all this infernal
bother?"
But tho argument, whatever It was,
was apparently ended, for his hosts
suddonly surrounded him, ono ot them
seeming to act aa tho spokesman for
the others.
"Delancoy," said this gentleman,
with a poorly repressed look of dis
gust, as If he did not llko to do It, but
had to, "you aro a lucky man. Your
days of hobo llfo aro over. You havo
fallen Into a soft berth, Delancoy, and
you can make up your mind for easy
llvlug tho rest of your mortal dnyB.
You'ro j,o'ng to live In Easy street,
Delancoy, with a valet to wait ou you,
and all tho good grub and boozo you
can eat and drink thrown In. We'll
give you everything you ask for, De
lancoy everything. You can havo
feather beds In winter, if you want
'em, and eloctrlc fans, or rofrlgerated
rooms, if you want 'era, Iu tho Bum
mer. All you'll havo to 'do Is live,
you know, Delancoy live aud let peo
ple wait on you. What do you say to
that?"
What did ho Bay to that?
It was a question.
a sfj - r
A : S2i f S C J
r$ Jin WZ JBi'l, -
fj rws i s wsw J z -v
OF
To fcgln with, Snaggles was not
particularly impressed with tho faco
of tho spokesman, or with his pecul
iar manner of address. And Snaggles,
to end with, was wondorfully embold
ened and befuddled with wlno. Ho
looked severely at tho spokesman, in
to whoso faco, without special Intent,
ho blow a cloud of smoko from tho
cigar. IIo stared impudently into tho
faces of tho clrclo, unablo to Inter
pret tho eager questioning of tholr
eyes, but seemingly alive to tho fact
that In one way or nnothor, for ono
reason or nnothor, ho, to them, was an
Important factor in tho game they
woro playing, whatever tho gamo may
havo been. Ko began to feel that ho
had tho advantago of them; that ho
was their master in a way; and that
ho, not thoy, was tho party to make
tho terms. What did he say? This is
what he said:
"Don't I get nny money at all 7"
It was certainly astonishing how
they were all consulting their watches
astonishing In tho highest degree
But astonishment waB Intensified be
yond all human power of expression
whon tho former chauffeur suddenly
seized Snaggles by tho collar and
elbow, rushed him out of tho room,
out through the long hall to the rear,
out through the back yard, and
through tho gato of tho back yard,
and dumped him In a ditch that had
been left by somo workmen In the
alley.
For n few moments Snaggles lay on
his back and looked up at a bright
star that was shining serenely above
him. Ho lay on his back becauso his
mind was as yot unconnected with tho
actual things around him. There was
a star up there, and a ditch here bo
low on tho earth; but hlB mind Itself
was still saturated with langorous
fumes of luxury, and persisted for a
whllo In dwelling In tho midst ot the
things from which It had been so
suddenly nnd violently torn. But the
wholly Incomprehensible nature of tho
proceeding, to say nothing of his
julck contact with tho cool air, and
with the cooler bottom of tho ditch,
Boon recalled him to the red realities
of existenco. To hla rapidly clarify-
( , J
LIFE ARE OVER.
lng perception it was beginning to ap
pear that he had been idly dreaming
somewhero In a box car and had been
suddenly Jolted awake. And yet ho
was forced to dismiss this foolish im
pression as ho becamo conscious of
the high stiff collar that circled his
throat, and ot tho soft texturo of the
doe-skin habiliments that clothed him.
Ho scrambled out of tho ditch and
stood glaring nt tho lights in tho
ashlar palace, his head nodding with
the tremendous mental effort ho was
making to squaro himself with the
curious facts within that ashlar pal
ace and the astounding facts without.
While in this attitude ho was yet
again amazed by the "reappearance of
his lato assailant, who flung open the
gato and approached him.
"Sorry, old boy! Deuced sorry !"
and ho laughed iu u diurnal, hollow
fashion, like a man in a forlorn hope.
And yot, in spite of all that, he cor
dially shook hands with Snaggles, so
that bis words and actions gave the
lie to his laugh. "Made a mistake,
don't you know. Didn't mean to do it,
nt all, don't you know. Come back,
old boy! Thoy are waiting for you."
And Snaggles now observed that
tho two mon who had accompanied
his capricious manhandlor, and form
ed an escort for the return trip to
tho houso, were his for.aor friends,
tho guards. Thoy worried him, those
guards. Why were they watching him
so closely and sticking to him so
faithfully 7 And what was tho mean
ing of this extraordinary crazy-qullt
of fact of which ho himself was tho
principal bit of lnsnnlty? Snnggles,
In short, wa.8 beginning to get his
bearings. It -"as truo that while ac
customed to all sorts of straiiBc ad
ventures, and to quick changes of
many kinds In the ups and downs of
hla profession, ho had been dazzled
and diverted a little by the unusual
setting of tho stage In tho presont
performance. But his recent dip Into
the cool air had brought him to his
senses. It was manifest that this wbb
not a merry Jest, rigged up for tho
amusement of tho ladles and gentlo
mon in that big houso on tho boule
vard. Not a Jest by any means. And
he now proposed to himself that ho
would go through with It to tho end,
and turn It to his advantago If ho
could. Tho opportunity presently
camo, or apparently cave, when ho
had been reseated In his comfortablo
chair and tho status juo ante ro
Btorcd, with tho guards remounted in
tueir old positlous and everybody
with watch In hand as beforo.
Again tho spokosmnn camo forwaid,
and again tho company formod a semi
clrclo about tho chair, eager in faco
and attitude.
"Delancoy, wo aro sorry that our
young friend hero was bo hothoadod
and precipitous In rushing you out
and throwing you Into tho ditch 'in
that Impromptu fashion. Sorry In
deed, old man. Itoally sorry, don't
you know. By tho wny, I believe" It
waB your remark about tho money
that irritated him a llttlo, but no's
sorry for It now, and, we hopo thnt
you will boo your way clear to for
Getting it. Dlaagreoablo things hap
pen to us nil, onco in a while, old
man; to all'of ua I say, Dolancoy,
hero'n a IiunJrc.l-uOllar bill for you T
Do you want It?"
His hand trembled ns ho held tho
monoy oxtomlod, nnd his oyoa were
fixed now on his open watch, now on
tho fnco of tho tramp.
But tho spirit of HiingRton had boon
roiiBcd. Ho looked nt tho money, nud
then nt tho mnn, and then a,t tho
company In general ; nnd ho recovorod
his ncrvo as ho spoko.
Was this horo monoy counterfeit?
Oh, nol It was as good aa gold.
In that enso Mr. Dolancoy would
explain hla position. Truo, he wna n
hobo. Thcro wns not any doubt about,
thnt. And ho was n hobo that wna
In no wise disponed to como to blowo
with pcoplo who could feed him on
champagno and throw him In a ditch.
But If tho ladles nnd gents believed
I'o wna a fool, thoy wero banking on
tho wrong card. He was an American
citizen with a vote. And If hla time
was worth monoy to tho ladlos and to
tho gents In convention hero assem
bled, It wan certainly worth money to
himself. Was It a merry Jest they
wero trying to put over on him? Not
thorn. Lndics and gents, except when
they are drunk, do not pick up ho
boes, batho them and shave thorn,
nurso them back to llfo with cocktails
and then offer them hundred dollar
bills not for fun. Drunk ladles and
gents woro ono thing. Sober ladles
and gents were another. And In view
of tho fact that tho ladles and gents
In this hero crowd woro as sober aa
crows, it waB plain they had a game
In their sleeve and that coin was be
ing passed with him as the pigeon.
Tako tho hundred? Well, ho would
not exactly refuse, but ho wasn't no
drink and hand-out man, and he want
ed his share or be shown.
Whllo ho was speaking thoy wero
looking at their watches, apparently
oblivious to what ho was saying; and
when ho had finished thoy began
tho muttorlng again. The muttering
swelled into loud and angry impreca
tions, but thoy were directed not at
Snaggles, for he could hear above tho
nolso of It an oath now and then con
signing "tho old fool" to places of
spiritual unrest. The manhandler was
reaching for him again, but this tlmo
he was stopped by the gentloman of
tho restful eye.
"A moment!" ho said, in a voice of
command. "Let the hobo retire undor
guard!"
It was a pity that Snaggles was
wholly unfamiliar with the climaxes
and catastrophes of tho ancient Greok
drama. Had he not been so he would
havo been highly entertained by the
story that was subsequently published
In the newspapors, when the matter
became oho of court record in which
all details wore laid bare. Snaggles
did not, read the story, having been
paid a fco of one hundred dollars by
tho kindly faced gentleman at an In
terview tho following day a fee for
tho part ho had taken In tho gamo
and wns now busily engaged in spend
ing tho money. But here Is what hap
pened when Snaggles, under escort of
tho younger guard, was conducted to
a remote npartment on tho second
floor of tho house.
"Order!" exclaimed the elderly
gentleman. "The time Is nearly up
and I must state tho caao'beforo clos
ing the business of the night."
They seated themselves impatient
ly. They were obviously tired of it
all, as ot a gamo they had played
and had lost. But tho speaker went
on.
"In the transactions that are rapid
ly nearlng their end," he said, "I be
lieve that none of you can Justly ac
cuse mo of unfairness. Perhaps there
are thoso who regard me as an inter
loper taking advantago of the law to
distrain from them wealth that Is
rightfully If not technically their own.
Perhaps thoro are thoso among you
who will say that in seeking to di
vert this wealth to channels In which
it would not otherwise flow I have
disclosed in my own character tho
common human falling that prompts
us to bettor ourselves at the oxpenso
of our nolghbors. Perhaps It Is truo.
Perhaps It is not. Wo will pass all
that. My only purposo In mentioning
It Is to call your attention to the fact
that I am not unaware of the suspi
cion of the falling or even of the
failing ltsolf."
He paused a moment, ns If In
thought, and when he resumed, ho
did so with a sarcastic smile and a
distinctly dry tone In his volco.
"The experiments wo have made
together have cost you fifty thousand
dollars, which is precisely ten per
cent, of tho sum that each of the
eight of you would hav recolvod from
tho partition of the estate of your
late cousin, to whom I have heard
somo of you refer In recent conversa
tions aa 'tho old fool.' To charge a
man with being a fool becauso he
sees fit to dispose of five million dol
lars ot his own money In a rather ec
contrlc fashion may or may not bo
tho best of wisdom. I cannot, at tho
samo time, refrain from remarking
that the event has amply shown that
ho was anything but the fool you
think him.
"What aro tho facts, my friends?
Tho facta, my friends, are these:
Your late cousin, having been left In
his youth to hustle for himself, was
disdained and neglected by yourselves
or at least by tho older ones among
you, who had been made tho favorite
heirs ot an uncle to tho exclusion of
your recent kinsman. Did your cous
in complain at his fate, or curse tho
rich man who had deliberately left
him a paupor? Ah, no! Ho did noth
ing of the kind, my friends. If I may
drop Into tho expresaie slang of tho
day, ho got busy with himself and
built up an lmmonso fortuno in Iron.
Beginning as a small dealer in rags
and junk, he ended as ono of tho large
stockholders in tho steel trust. And
later, when tho tlmo had como to
leave this woalth bohlnd him, nnd go
to that reward which awaits all thoso
who havo been cautious and careful
In this vnlo of tcara and place of pro
bation wo call tho world, did bo cut
off without hope tho cousins who had
boon unkind to him? No, again, my
friends. Truo. ho did not flfng you
tho monoy out of hand ho loft It to
tho eight of you, share nnd sharo
allko, and only on ono condition. TKht
coudltlon seemed slmplo tnough, to
bo tfuro. You were to find within alx
monthB from a certain date a person
who would rcfuso tox accept ono hun
dred dollars when it .was offeVed.
That wna all. If you failed In that
peculiar test eccentric enough It was'
tho millions woro to be1 equally dl-i
lded nmong tho soveral charities,
mentioned in tho will, and I need not
Inform you thnt I was empoworcd to
see that tho teBts would bo mado
without collusion or connlvanco of
tho pnrtles."
Tho holrs woro fretting In their
scats, and somo ot them wero yawn
ing with dlBgust. But tho elderly gon
tloman only smiled.
"Did you find such a p Bon? Why,'
no, you didn't! Wonderful, wasn't
It? Wonderful as a story of tho magi
cal oast, or of tho Saracens under
tho CnllphnI Surely, you thought to
yourselves, It woro an easy task to
find somcono who would dccllno a
gift ot n paltry ono hundred dollars
when offoredl But was It? Ah, no,(
my friends. Indeed, It was necessary
to toll you that It would bo useless to
offer the money to vppt numbors of,
persons whoso professions would
prompt them to tako it without ques-l
Hon. I warned you that It would bo!
a wastj of your tlmo tnd wealth to
make tho offer of such a gift to re-i
llglous workers of any kind, to per-,
sons engaged In the dispensation of,
charity, to lawyers, doctors, retail
business men of any lino whatsoever
or . that innumerable mase of per
sons to whom ono hundred dollars Is;
a fortune. I will glvo you credit for
having seen tho point with very llttlo
reflection. You saw It, but you doubt-l
ed. And you subsequently lost a hun-j
dred by tendering It to a rich physi
cian, whom nono of you had previous
ly met, and who pocketed tho coin on
tho spot on tho possibility that It wa3
a foe he had forgotten."
Tho elderly gentleman paused again)
and grinned with the grim humor oil
tho thing. His hearers shifted In'
their Beats, shuffled their feot, and
gruntedv ,
"For thirty years," he continued, i
"my profession has beon that of or-,
ganlzer and superintendent of chari-
ties of varlouB kinds. I know tho
gamo of money from bit to brltchln..
I knew what I was doing when I gave
you that warning, and I was tho only
ono among you that waB not surprised
when tho richest banker In town
laughed nt you when ho took It, and
Informed you that although he didn't,
know why you were giving It, It was
a part of his business never to turn'
monoy away from his door. Has the
banker returned to aBk you to en-i
lighten him on your a''e Joke? Noti
yot. And bellevo me, my friends, you
will novcr hear from him again."
Tho elderly gentleman drew from
hlB pocket a small account book.
"It la probable," he wont on, "that
I will probate tho will tomorrow.
There Is very llttlo moro to do. In
this book I have a record of the five
hundred offers you have mado and
tho five hundred acceptances of tho
gift. Whllo we aro hero In tho home
your cousin built for himself, and
which, I am sorry to say, will proba
bly soon bo converted Into an annex
of the Homo for the Incapable, I wish
to call your attention to a few of
these peculiar acceptances. The Em
peror of Germany acknowledges the
receipt of your gift and bogs you to
explain to him why you havo sent it.
Baron Rothschild informs you that ho
will give the monoy to tho poor He
brews of London. The treasurer of
tho United States keeps Is without
commont, on the theory, I presume,
that you were paying a debt of con
science to tho nation. Tho chairman
of the Bank of England writes to aBk
you to what account ho will credit
tho sum. Tho Chlneso ambassador
solicits your kindness to enlighten
him as to the purposo of tho remit
tance. Tho president of tho United
States tells you ho cannot recall on
the moment the transaction you prob
ably havo In mind in sending him
the money, but aesumea that you
know your business. A great metro
politan newspaper owner writes to
you that ho has entered your namo
on his books for a twonty years' sub
scription, and is publishing an edi
torial on tho incldont. But why go
on? Not a man of them but took'
the money!"
He looked nt the crowd over his
glasses and once again ho smiled that
grin of grlmness.
"Having failed In theso most prom
ising cases having failed In every
case we tried, wo met hero thla
evening to finish the game and say
good-bye. It was a lady I do not
chide her; It is no part of my duty
to criticize mothods- Buggcstcd the
last and most practical plan ot all.
Dangerous? Yes. Bold? Yes. But
promising. Her plan was to pick up
a tramp the worst wo could And
and luro him with the promise of lux
ury and eaBo. Give him, sho argued,
everything that monoy could buy
everything? Well, yes, everything
and perhapB but you havo seen how
It fared."
They wore muttering and grumbling:
again nnd the speaker held up his
hand.
"We haVo five minutes left," he
said, "and you must remember that
tho gamo Is not lost until tho hour.
Ho had not refused the monoy when
I recalled him from the ditch, but
neither had ho nccopted It. He has
not accepted It yet. I wish to be fair.
I will recall him."
As ho walked to tho door at the
head of the stair tho compnny roso
from their seatB In a babblo of talk.
But the babblo subsided at the sound
of a fierce struggle on tho stairway,
and later In tho hall and tho reception
room, and Snaggles, his collar waving
nnd his coat all torn, appeared at the
door.
"Lcajro go o' mo, will you?" he
roared to the young man who was try
ing to restrain him. "Where's tho
boss?"
And having spotted tho man who
had offered him tho monoy, "Bosb,"
snld Snaggles, "givo mo tho hunured
and I won't want a cent of your vel
vet!" Room for Doubt,
"It used to be that when wo met a
man4 who could wash and mord hla
own clotnoa and who could wash dloh
cs' and cook wo took him to bo a sail-
or.
"And now?" V
"Now wo don't know whether ho
la a sailor or tho hubband of a suffra N
getto." Houston Post.
a
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