Dakota County Herald
DAKOTA CITY, N 19.
Jahn M. Ream. - - Fubllhl
Graft Is a nonpartisan game.
Train robbers are never lucky in
the lonjg run and the short run Is not
Worth while.
A Los Angeles man claims to have
- ..... .!. U II.
two spare ribs. Mignry nanny mine
jKrk Is so high.
An old Civil War veteran of Wnter-
luiry, Conn., claims to have a pain in
Is wooden leg. No wonder lies kick
A disease of the appendix has been
an...i TMa nncht to reconcile
thnur, who have already sacrificed
theirs on the altar of surgery.
; Philadelphia scientists say that the
missing link has been discovered In
he cultured chimpanzee. As an alter
native we suggest the giver of monkey
dlaners.
"In Cromwell's time," says Dr. Hil
Tto, "everybody was drunk once a
yeek," Everybody Isn't now, but
there are still a few people who bent
the old average.
; The best preparation for a woman
hjho contemplates marrying a man to
teform him Is to take In washing for
( ear. If she likes that sort of thins
he can then set the day.
Andrew Carnegie confesses that he
&as made forty-two men millionaires.
Tfhe forty-two millionaires are prob
ably convinced that they succeeded
tot because of Andrew but In spite
of hlra.
Dr. Cook keeps right on not saying
word In his own defense. Perhaps
te has adopted Alfred Austin's meth
od of positively refusing to read or
listen to a word that his critics have
to say about him.
Just as people were learning to live
m fruit and vegetables along came
jthe frost, killing the fruit and de
stroying the vegetables. There's no
hope for the consumer. He Is sure to
get caught either coming or going.
, A punishment to fit the crime was
that inflicted on a grocer,,. In a Penn
aylvanla town who was compelled to
eat eggs alleged by a customer to be
bad. It is safe to say that In future
eggs In that town will be sold only In
A state of pristine and unimpeachable
parity.
Secretary Balllnger hns withdrawn
from entry 13,600,000 acres of coal
lands In Montana, pending an exami
nation as to their value. This will
be much more satisfactory to the pub
lic than an investigation after the
lands had been given away would
have been.
Any land is the land of opportunity
for the boy who has the real stuff In
him. In the new Parliament elected
hy conservative Great Britain there
are more than forty members who had
their start in humble homes where
the question of dally bread was an
ever-present problem.
A Baltimore man wants a divorce
because his wife loves him so much
that her caresses and words of en
dcarment bore him. It Is hoped that
women will not generally regard this
as a solemn warning. Our opinion of
the man la that he doesn't bulk very
large as a lord of creation.
Not only improper picture cards, hut
also those which are simply silly, or
which may be offensive to any person
or race, are extremely unlikely to
reach their destination when aent
through the mall. The postal author!
ties are Justified in seizing them. It
la announced that hundreds of thou
aands were destroyed by postmasters
last year.
Hazing at West Point dies alowly.
The Secretary of War has lately Issued
aome new regulations for the punish
ment of offenders. Under the old rules
the hazera had to be dismissed. Un
der the new rules a lighter form of
punishment la provided for the mild
forms of hazing In which there la no
Intention to lujure or to humiliate the
cadet. A wholesome provision in the
new regulations is that the cadet ofn-
cers who neglect to report hazing In
cldenta shall be punished as If they
were the principals.
iiuuinuusi iuuimii nas discovered a
rew field for Its activities, and a so
ciety is likely to be formed for the
prevention of cruelty to sponges. Most
tr......li..i , i
men who know the sponge only as an
unsightly mass of dump substance
which abounds in barber shops are un
aware that the sponge Is, or whs, au
animal that once disported Itself in
the slimy ooze of the sea bottom. The
word "diBport" must be used In a re
atrlcted sense, for the sponge Is root
ed like a plant and has no record as
a base runner. That Is where the
cruelty comes In. Horrified observers
assure us that the sponge gatherers
literally tear up the sponges by the
toots uud leave them In the suu to
die. Untold agonies, they declare, are
euffered by the poor 8;ionges as they
lie under the torrid suu before they
are mercifully released by death and
give up the ghost assuming that a
sponge lni3 a ghost to give up. Now
it Is proposed to step In and stop this
barbarous practice. Just what meas
ures are to be taken has not Keen re
vealed, bv.t very likely It is intended
to chloroform the sponges before tear
ing thtm up by the roots. Some may
to even further and demand that the
hiiiferlrg spongea be not squeezed too
hard at any later period of their ex
istence, uar plunged Into water that
is likely to neald then or to freeze
their toes. Be sure of It, there will
le no letting up la tte agitation until
K.ari's lnhumr.nity to spang hua been
conphtcly curled.
llr.rk Tv.uin found the lln'-it sweet
rnl he was a I carer of llj'at to others.
He Ucus-11 a gopel of sunshine to
the world, a rnt-zttse of good cheer,
but It would be a grave error to as
Uiut ha waa merely tbe careless
Jester, says the Chlengo Record TTei
aid. Though he lived many years and
rejoiced in them all, he had his full
share of the days of darkness, and his
autobiography shows how deeply he
felt them. It gives us glimpses of his
heart and soul, of the strength of his
affections. The world tried him as it
tries others, and yet to the world he
always turned a radiant face while he
kept his hours of deep dejection to
himself, away from even his most In
tlmate friends. So It was that he be
came the personal friend and helper
of millions who responded to him In
his own spirit and welcomed blm with
Joy and laughter. While be was thus
performing his mission as a writer
through the long term of half a cen
tury there were books of woe In plen
ty, books to Intensify sorrow and dis
content and sickness of heart, out
pourings of feebleness and pessimism.
The literature of Joy and hope waa
opposed by the literature of despond
ency. But though this literature of
darkness Is sometimes supposed to be
rquch more profound than it is, the
healing and strengthening work of
Mark Twain had not only a quicker
reception but a more enduring Influ
ence with readers of all classes. Turn
ing from the thought of books to the
thought of personal Intercourse, this
man who gave so freely of his sun
shine teaches us a most useful and
Inspiring lesson, a lesson that may be
brought home to the humblest of hu
man beings. The luxury of woe l:i
the costliest of all luxuries, and one
who is continually prating of his trou
bles and pouring forth his sour opin
ions of the world simply does all that
Is In him to make the burdens of oth
ers harder to bear. But the giver of
sunshine bestows blessings wherever
he goes. He Is always the welcome
guest, and we feel the stronger, the
braver, the more hopeful for his com
ing. He may be poor in purso, in po
sition, In fame and still a true bene
factor.
MORE TROUBLE AHEAD.
Advent ol the llalnlalka, In Kngland
a Menace to Our Pence.
The balalaika Impends, a new and
most unpleasant rival to the mandolin.
the concertina and the banjo. It comes
from Russia and it has already taken
London by storm. Before long, unless
Congress comes quickly to the rescue
with drastic legislation, the Baltimore
Sun asserts, It will Invade our fair
republic, filling the air of freedom with
Its discords and driving all honest mu
sic lovers to alcohol and amesthetlcs.
The balalaika, It should be ex
plained, Is a sort of triangular guitar
with three strings. One of those
strings is tuned to the'A of the treble
staff, while both of the others are
tuned to E. The thing Is operated by
plucking the strings with tho right
hand, the notes being produced by
sliding the thumb of the left hand
up and down the ?wo E strings. The
A string Is seldom touched by the left
hand. Its deep note drones along
through thick and thin with brutal
and maddening persistency. It Is said
to be particularly effective when the
melody that is being torn out of the
E strings Is In the key of A flat.
Fashionable London has taken the
balalaika to Its heart. Clubs devoted
to Us study have been formed In May
fair; Prince Tchagadaeff of St. Peters
burg has come over to explain Its mys
teries; there are even balalaika orches
tras, wlh prima, Eecunda, alt, bass
and contrabass balalaikas. Prof. Clif
ford Essex, for manj years the Grsr-co-Roman
nnd catch-as-catch-can banjo
champion of England, has abandoned
the banjo and now devotes his talents
to the newcomer.
Life, Indeed, grows more teniblo
every day. The balalaika, there Is
good reason to believe, will arrive In
our midst simultaneously with the tall
of Halley's comet. Let us prepare to
face that double assault with the for
titude of martyrs.
A STORY OP BLUCHER.
Ihi Old General Gave Ilia Hon
I. canon In (laming;.
Speaking of military men who were
gamblers, Ralph Nevlll In "Light Come
Light Go," after noting that Napoleon
only played In an amateur way and
never seriously and that the Duke of
Wellington, while a member of Crock-
ford's famous gambling club, was not
particularly fond of play, goes on to
relate the following about Blucher
Another great soldier, on the other
hand, repeatedly lost large sums nt
play. This was Blucher, who was in
ordlnately fond of gambling. Much to
his disgust, this passion was Inherited
by his son, who had often to be re
buked by his father for his visit u
the gaming table and was given many
a wholesome lecture upon his youth
and Inexperience and the consequent
certainty of loss by coming In contact
with older and more practiced gam
blers. One morning, however, young Blu
cher presented himself before his fa
ther and exclaimed, with an air of Joy,
"Sir, you Bald I knew nothing of play,
but here is proof that you have under
valued my talents," pulling out at the
BRine time a bag of rubles which he
had won the preceding night.
"And I said the truth." wns the re
ply. "Sit down here nnd I'll convince
you."
The dice were called for, and in a
few minutes old Blucher won all hi
son's money, whereupon, after pocket
ing the cash, he rose from the table,
observing, "Now you see thnt I was
right when I told you that ycu would
never win."
Too l.lilh.
Mrs. Pobbs was trying to find out
the likes and dislikes of her new
boarder, and ull she leprned Increased
her satisfaction.
"Do you want pie for breakfast?"
she linked.
"No, thank you." said the new board
er, with a B-iille. "Pie for breakfast
seems n little too much."
"That's Just the way I look at It."
paid Mrs. Dobbs, heartily. "I gay pie
for dinner Is a necessity, and pie for
supper Rlveu a kind o' finishing touch
to the day; but pie for breakfast Is
w hat I call putt Ins on lilrs."
Tb ol l.
Mrs. Cadsfcy She says frankly that
the can t play bridge, but that Isn't
tbe best of It. Mrs. Bungwals What
is? Mrs. Uaduby She doesn't try.
Somervllle Journal.
I LEGAL INFORMATION J
An act was passed In Alabama which
prohibited sale of certain nonlntoxl
sating liquors at any place where tho
ale of spirituous, vinous, or malt liq
uors was forbidden by law. In Elder
vs. State, CO Southern Reporter, 370, It
was urged that the legislature had no
power to prohibit the sale of articles
not Injurious to either the health or the
morals of the people, and that such a
statute was an unwarranted Invasion
of the rights of the citizen. On the
other hand, it was asserted that In
order more thoroughly to prohibit the
sale of malt liquor, known to be an
Intoxicant, and to safeguard against
evasions of such law, the state had
power to prohibit the sale of any bever
ages containing the ingredient of ma't
liquors. The Alabama Supreme court
held the act unconstitutional, conclud
ing that these drastic prohibitory laws
are doubtless intended for the nii"il
benefit and elevation of mankind; but
their .moral purpose or beneficent re
sults must not be considered to save
them, when they Invade the sanctity of
the constitutional rights of our citi
zens. An insurer contracted to Indemnify
a manufacturing corporation for any
8mount under $5,000, which It should
be compelled to pay as damages for p"r-
sonal injuries to its employes. An em
ploye of the Insured was Injured while
carrying a pitcher alleged to be defec
tive, containing ncld. To the insurer
the necessary facts were promptly com
municated, and the pitcher was Intrust
ed to its custody. By the Insurer tho
action of the employe was contested,
hut bo negligently that It failed to offer
the strongest evidence for the manu
facturer, the pitcher. Recovery was
had for more than $17,000. In Attle
boro Mfg. Co. vs. Frankfort M. Acc.
and P. G. Ins. Co., 171 Federal Report
er, 495, plaintiff sought to recover the
difference between the stipulated In
demnity and the amount It was forced
to pay through defendant's negligence
In conducting the suit. The Federal
Circuit court concluded that an under
taking by one not an attorney to carry
on the lawsuit of another being ordi
narily an undertaking to carry it on
with due care, It Is the basis of an ac
tion for tort where negligence has
been substituted for due care Impliedly
undertaken and agreed upon. The de
murrer to the declaration was over
ruled. The Supreme court of South Carolina
waa called upon to determine the valid
ity of a statute of that state providing
taxation of Insurance companies, la
New York Life Insurance Co. vs. Brad
ley, 65 Southeastern Reporter, 433. By
section 1808 of the South Carolina
Code of 1902, Insurance companies are
required (1) to pay a license fee of
$100; (2) to make a quarterly return
of their gross, premiums; t3) to pay
quarterly an additional graduate li
cense fee to the state treasurer of one
half of 1 per cent on gross premiums.
By section 1S09 the cc.:npt roller gener
al is required to transmit to the county
auditor In each of the various counties
statement of the amount of prem
iums or receipts collected therein dur
ing the preceding year from the dif
ferent Insurance companies, and such
statement Is directed to be placed on
the tax duplicate, together with other
items of taxable property owned by tho
companies. Proceeding under this last
provision, a tax amounting to $l1.:iri
was paid under protest by the New
York Life Insurance Company to t'.u
treasurer of Abbeville county, and pro
ceedings thereafter instituted for its
recovery. It was contended that tho
lax was sl-niply Imposed as a condition
to the right of plaintiff, a foreign in
surance company, to do business In tho
state. The court held, however, that U
was a property tax, and as It was not
restricted to property or money of th'i
Insurance compnny within the state it
the time of assessment, but covered Its
gross receipts for the entire ytu'. It
was Invalid as constituting a taking of
property without due process of law.
- Iletter
Recently
'lb n ii Gulden Kick.
a hen was exhibited at
Wilkesbarre, Pa., and took all the
prizes as tho best of her kind. So im
portant did she grow In the estima
tion of the holders that her owner
wns offered $10,000 for her, but re
fused It. At about this time the hen
laid an egg and, that it might be evi
dent that she was a producer as well
as a bIiow bird, her owner allowed the
product of her labor to remain in the
pen with her. This was a tactical
blunder, for the egg was purloined
shortly and has not been seen since.
Now there Is a well knowu story to
the effect that a goose of the dim and
distant past once laid a golden egg.
Taking It that the historian was sure
of his facts, this goose of fume has no
such claim upon renown as has the
Wilkesbarre hen. Here Is a bag of
gold containing $10,000 In tbe treas
ury at Washington which visitors are
allowed 'to lift to get an Idea of Just
how heavy that much money Is. It
weighs something like thirty pounds.
Now, If tho egg of this ben, with the
prospect of being hutched Into a
creature as valuable as the parent, Is
estimated as being worth one-tenth as
much as she is, the stolen egg would
be worth $1.000 which amount of
money would weigh three pounds or
as much as two do.en eggs. So the
egg of the Pennsylvania hen Isvorth
24 times as much as the greatly
touted goose egg and deserves fame
In accordance.
ADVICE FOR NERVOUS MAN.
Keck Itellel lit Work, tn Ouv Who
i Man r'ountl It a lure.
Tho famous Harvard geologist, Na
thuiilel Southgule Shaler, who died
ubout four year ago, wus a man of
lugulurly wide raune mid vivacity of
conversation. In a Blngle hour, says
a correspondent of the New York Na
tion, he would discuss topics as di
verse aa national politics, the seeds
of the fosll Conlferae, and the ques
tion whether there might not be some
ethnological considerations bearing on
mathematical studies.
Perhaps the most striking thing
about him, after his unexcelled
warmth of heart and capacity for mak-
Ing people free of his time and
thought and Interest, was his surpris
ing Industry. On one of the earliest
occasions when I was thrown into
contact with him, nnd obliged to ask
for considerable portions of his time,
I remember having asked If he were
not overbusy.
"No," he replied. "I have a good
many things to do. and a wore of
years ago I had nervous prostration.
I went to Germany and tried all kinds
of cures for It, but they did no good;
so I came home, and ever since I've
been trying to work it off." '
Asking advice from Shnler was a
very different thing from seeking It
from ordinary sources. On one occa
sion apropos of something now quite
forgotten he told the story of his be
ing asked by a graduate of the Har
vard Divinity School how he might
best fit himself for the work of his
chosen calling. The freshly graduated
theological student did not feel sure
that he knew as much about men as
he did about divinity.
After a moment's thought, the pro
fessor said, In substance:
"Go to Colorado, get down Into a
drift, and dig for two years with the
miners. Possibly you'll know more
about men than you do now."
v The young man did so, with the re
sult that he came back at the end of
the period to thank his adviser for
the good he had derived from his most
unconventional Wanderjahre.
SIAMESE REJOICINGS.
The annual celebration in Slam of
the King's accession to the throne was
observed on the last occasion with
even more, than usual splendor. The
monarch's reign has lasted forty years,
a longer time than that of any of hi
predecessors. The year In Siam is u
succession of shows and festivities,
and the King's day is the greatest of
all. J. G. D. Campbell speaks of thes e
fetes in "Slam In the Twentieth Cen
tury." All Bangkok takes a holiday, arid
turns out to see tbe illuminations,
which I have seldom seen surpassed.
Flags, Chinese lanterns, inscriptions
line every thoroughfare, and there is a
constant succession of fireworks.
The King of Siam is a man of re
markable personality, characterized by
a spirit of liberality and enlightenment
which places him in the -small band
of progressive rulers the East has pro
duced. He dresses simply, In the Eu
ropean style, without the Jewels and
ornaments so affected by Eastern mon-
archs. No one would suspect that un
der that quiet, modest, yet dignified ex
terlor lies the force that wields an au
thority greater than that of the Czar
of all the Russlas.
In tbe past Slam's throne was filled
by two monarchs the first and second
king. The second king was a sort of
royal commander-in-chief, and his po
sition was a painful one, as it was a
source of constant Jealousy to the first
king. From 1865-85 the place of sec
ond king was filled by a brother of
the first king, who was named George
Washington, having been called after
his father's favorite hero. It is pleas
ant to know that he was not unworthy
of the name, and that his memory Is
still cherished by the Europeans who
knew him.
With his death the second kingship
ceased to exist, and the present mon
arch, who had ascended the throne in
18fi8, became the supreme ruler.
Uulte ltlllereiit.
"Maria," said Mr. Rawlins, laying
aside his hat and overcoat and rub
bing his hands gleefully together,
"you know that for years we have
been wanting to buy a building-lot in
Kennedy's subdivision, but couldn't
afford to do it on account of the high
prices they ask for land out there.
Well, I've Just learned thut Qulnlan,
who owns one of the best lots In that
entire neighborhood, will sell it for
half what it cost him, If he can get
the cash. He needs the money, and
can't get It any other way. I have a
great mind to buy It to-morrow morn
ing. It comes easily . within oui
means."
"I don't think you ought to do It,
Joshua," said Mrs. Rawlins.
"You don't think I ought to buy It'
Why not?"
"It would be taking advantage oi
his necessities."
"But, Maria "
"Besides, I have Just learned of I
splendid opportunity to buy some fur
nlture that we need. Grlgson & Mul
lins are advertising parlor sets at one
third less than cost because they an
overstocked and can't afford to carr:
them through the season. I'd like t
buy about two hundred dollars' wortl
of parlor furniture. Weil never hav
as good n chance again."
Being a man of excellent self-con
trol, Mr. Rawlins merely smiled.
I'olar Humor.
Ever since the reported discoveries
ot the north pole, professional Jesters
have been engaged in turning out wit
ticisms on the subject. Some time ago.
before the discovery, a writer of hu
morous verse made the Interesting
point thut since the north pole Is, af
ter all, an imaginary spot, why should
t not bo discovered by the Imagina
tion, thus saving much time and trou
ble? Le Figaro of Paris recalls n
somewhxt similar solution of the diffl
culty. "The great difficulty of the enter
prise," said Alphonse Allals, tin.- au
thor of "Paraplulu (le L'escouud ," "is
that they gay that there Is a slaelal
temperature at the north pel. Now
In another part of the globe there is
a place famous for lis torrid heat,
the equator. Nobody denies the geog
raphies agree on the matter that the
equator is un imaginary line.
"Why, this being the case, not have
tho equator pass through the north
pole? Thus the task of the explore!
would become easy, and one of the
great problems which concern the si
u'.lsts so much would be solved."
Her t'refereure.
Miss Plumplelgh According to re
ports dress goods will be much hlghei
this season than they were last.
Miss De Thynne Well, I'm glad ol
It. I never did approve of those dec
ollete costumes. uipplncott's.
It Is all right to admire women, bul
not to the exclusion of evtrythlm
else.
3r!-t4..:J.
Opinions of
CONQUERING WASTE LAND.
l.'ROl'E Is conquering the waste land prob
lem by planting trees. Every year tnou
gands of acres of land are being reclaimed
In this way by the leading countries nnd
put in a condition preparatory to a prof
itable timber harvest in the years to
come. Not only many previously forested
areas which have been cut over have been planted up,
but a number of the countries are also devoting their
energies to establishing a forest cover on dunes and
other waste lands, and, in fact, on all land which is
more valuable for producing timber than for other
purposes.
France has been one of the foremost European coun
tries in reforestation, especially In the mountains,
where planting has been a powerful factor in controll
ing torrents and regulating stream flow. The State
each year buys uncultivated lands, in the mountain
regions, and up to January, 1907, it had acquired 503
000 acres In this way. Communes, associations and pri
vate individuals are also assisted In reforestation work
by grants of money and by supplies of plants and seeds.
Altogether 249,000 acres have been planted through this
public assistance. Complete exemption from taxation
for a long period of years Is granted In the case of
plantations made on tho tops and slopes of mountains.
A reduction of three-fourths for all land planted or
Bown. whatever Its situation, is also made. New York
Evening Post.
SIRES AND SONS.
T is the commonly accepted belief that the
6ons of great men rarely equal their sirgs
in point of ability, and especially In the
line of ability which distinguished the
sire. There are some notable exceptions,
as for instance the younger Pitt, and John
Ouincy Adams. But as a rule we shall
IT
find, both as a matter of history and personal observa
tion that the common opinion is correct.
A writer In a current magazine attempts to nccount
for this fact by assuming that the son usually inherits
his intellectual traits from his mother, although In
physique he is apt to take after his father. The writer
cites a lot of Instances to show that In the line jf roy
'alty It is quite common to see the qualities of a great
king handed down to his successors for many genera
tions. '
This is because that in royal marriages the bride of
the heir apparent is carefully selected from among the
great families, royal or other. Hence the high strain
of blood is maintained In the descent. But among the
mass of tha people, from which the
its great geniuses, literary, financial, scientific or pro
fessional, marriages are made hap hazard.
A great man Is often attracted by a woman far infe-
rtnr to him intellectually. In tho
When Prof. Louis Agassiz was writ
ing a book on the turtles of the United
States, It became necessary for him
to have some fresh turtle eggs. He en
gaged Mr. Jenks, of Middleboro, about
forty miles from. Cambridge, to get
them for hiin. Mr. Jenks promised
that the eggs should be in Agassiz's
hands before" they were three hours
old. Mr. Jenks, who lately told the
tale to a w riter In the Atlantic Month
ly, had to wait by a certain pond for
tho turtles to come out and lay their
eggs in the sand. Finally, after weeks
of waiting, one morning about 4
o'clock a turtle crawled up the beach,
partly buried herself In the soft sand,
and laid her eggs.
As she did so the distant clock
struck 4. There was no train 111 after
9, and the eggs must be In Cambridge
In three hours.
I laid the eggs on a bed or sand in
the bottom of my pail; filled in be
tween them with more sand; so with
another layer to the rim; and covering
all over smoothly with more sand, I
ran back for my horse. He knew, as
well as I, that the turtle had laid, and
that he was to get those eggs to Agas
siz. I let him out. I shouted to him,
holding to the dasher with one hand
the pail of eggs with the other, not
daring to get off my knees, although
the bang on them, as we pounded down
the wood road, was terrific. We had
nearly covered the distance to the pike
when ahead of me I heard the sham
whistle of n locomotive.
With a pull that lifted the horse
from his foot, I swung him Into a field
and sent him straight as an arrow for
the track.
By some Btroke of luck I got on the
track and backed off it before the
train hit my carriage. But the maneu
ver was successful, for the engineer
stopped and I swung abourd the call
hatless, dew-soaked, smeared with yel
low mud, and holding, as if it were
a baby or a bomb, a little tin pail of
aond.
"Throw her wide open," I com
manded, "wide open! These are fresh
turtle eggs for Professor Agnssiz of
Cambridge. He must have them be
fore breakfast."
The engineer and the fireman no
doubt thought that I was crazy; but
they let me ulone, nnd the fast
freight rolled swiftly Into Boston.
But misfortune was ahead. We
slowed down in the yards and came to
a stop. We were put on u sidiiig, to
wait no one knew how long. In the
empty square Ktood a cab.
The cabman saw lr.c ocmlng. I
waved a dollar at him and then an
other, dodged Into the cab, slummed
the door, and called cut. "Cam: -ridge!
Harvard College! Prole-sor Aastiz s
house! I've got egg.j for Aggaslz!"
and I pushed ano! her dollar up at him
through the hole.
"Let him go!" I orcYiod. "Here's
another dollar fcr you If ycui make
Agasslz's house in twenty minutes!'
We flew to Cambridge. There was
a sudden lurch, and 1 dlvi d forward,
rammed my head into the front of the
rab, and came up with u rebound that
landed me ucross the small of my back
ou the seat, and sent half of my pal!
of eggs helter-skelter over the floor.
But we were ut Agasslz's house. 1
tumbled out and pounded on the door.
"Agassiz!" 1 gasiied when the maid
came. "I want Professor Agassiz,
Quick!"
She protested that he was in bed,
and threatened the police. But Just
then a door overhead was flung open,
a great white robed figure appeared on
rURTLE'S EGGS FOR AGASSIZ ;
ILMTOIIAL
Great Papers on Important Subjects.
cases no attention is paid to mating with a view cl
transmitting great qualities. A compensation of these
hap-hazard marriages Is that a very ordinary wan
sometimes becomes the father of a very great one.
This view Is fanciful to some exfWt. It cannot be
based upon any accurate statistics. But It gives abun
dant food for thought. It may be used as an argument
for the higher education and culture of women. It
gives a hint of the advisability of arranging marriages
with prudence and forethought. It may be admitted
that love In marriage is an essential but It will do no
harm to season it with Judgment and good advice
Minneapolis Tribune.
days ago a Jersey
awarded by a Jury
cut off by a car,
E have
world usually gets
vast majority of
the dim landing above, and a quick,
loud voice called excitedly;
"Let him in! Let him in! I know
him. He has my turtle eggs."
And the apparition, slippeiiess and
clad in anything but an academic
gown, came sailing downstairs. The
great man, his arms extended, laid
hold of me with both hands, and drag
ging me and my precious pail Into his
study, with a swift, clean stroke laid
open one of the eggs, as the watch In
my trembling hands ticked its way to
seven as if nothing unusual were
happening in the history of the world.
Youth's Companion.
GOLF LINKS OF THE FAR EAST.
Iliir.nril Are Often lilnefie Graves
or SI my I'nlilmite Pntehea.
The chief hazards on the links of
Tientsin ore of a somewhat gruesome
character since they consist of the
graves of doceased Chinamen. The
modern golfing architect is in fa
vor of mounds as hazards and ha
might glean some ideas from the
graves at Tientsin. "So and So's
grave" has been, time out of mind, a
favorite name for some bunker of par
ticularly infamous reputation in this
country, but it has never borne so
literal a meaning as it might In China,
says a writer in Fry's Magazine.
As to the Chinese caddie, the China
man, we are told, does not under
stand golf at all. Perhaps he sees a
game in its proper light, two middle
aged persons becoming absurdly heat
ed over a trumpery little ball. At any
rate, his one aim Is to get done with
tho round and receive his fee, and he
patiently inquires of his employer at
Intervals how long he proposes to fol
lo.v tbe little white ball.
The golf course at Pekin Is also on
a fiat plane and, as Tientsin, the plain
Is muddy. It lies close to the Antung
gate and to get there from the Euro
pean quarter necessitates a long and
dusty Journey by pony or rickshaw.
As Rt Tientsin, hazards have a discon
cei!fng way of springing up like mush
rooms iu the night. They are, how
ever, of a less horrible character, al
though possibly more difficult to play
out of since they consist, not of graves,
but of cabbage gardens, which the
Chinaman plants at his own sweet will
In the same rapid and light-hearted
way.
Thus the character of the course
changes from day to day In a way cal
culated to dispel monotony and a
golfer who has carefully placed his
tee shot In such a way ns to get a
clear run up to the hole finds himself
confronted instead with a most diffi
cult pitch over cabbages.
The difficulties of the situation are
enhanced at Pekln by the fact that
tl:? golfer Is only allowed to play on
condition that he does not disturb the
cabbage patches. "Golf Is not agricul
ture," so it has been written of those
who tear vast and hideous divots from
shrinking turf. It is held to be true
at Pekln and the native agricultural
ist will have the law on you if you
interfere with the fruits of his indus
try. Cabbage patches are strictly out
of bounds.
Other hazards of a less transitory
character are camel roads, which tra
verse the links from the mountains.
Along these roads there come, in ad
dition to camels, great droves of po
nies, which the Mongolians bring
down to sell In Pekln. Yet another
possible incideut of Pekinese golf Is
the dust storm, which Is a terrible
infliction.
When the dust storm arises, which
it dceg with abominable suddenness,
the game stops and the players make
for ditches and trenches, or cower be
hind mud walls. Tbe stern rule which
dtsquallfle those who shelter during
? bey
j. m m ' t m
tt??-W-T?''.:
ONE OIRL AND ANOTHER.
BEAUTIFUL New York society girl.
I bwned by flaming gasoline when her au
AmL I tomobile was run down by a Btreet cur,
I , ,i hoan fii... fl..l eon nm rn .1 .tail 1 1 v a
lino un u f.U,VVV uuiuaQV, " J w
New Yofit court beciluse her neck la
scarred so thnt Bhe cannot wear low
necked gowns at social functions. A few
Judge, receiving a verdict of $8,500,
to a little girl whose lejg had been
said be amount.' was too large taking ii.
into consideration the great Improvements in cork legs.
One girl is rich; the other poor. One is a belle of
society; the other a workingnian's baby. One girl is
surrounded by luxury, and lives an idle existence; the
other Is in a humble home, and must help with house
work, and earn her support. Yet the rich girl, whose
soft hands will never make a bed or wash the dishes,
is given $20,000 for a few scars on her shapely neck,
while the poor girl crippled for life, hampered In the
Ftruggle for existence, is told by a Judge that $8,500
is more than she should receive for losing a leg.
Queer laws, and queer courts, aren't they for a land
where freedom and equality are established by the con
stitution? Chicago Journal.
DEVELOPMENT OF THE TELEGRAPH.
Just passed the sixty-fifth annl-
A Tl versary of the inauguration of the rem
I mercial telegraph In the United States.
v I Th cvfitem hud ft vprv mnHpst heelnninir-
now it stretches over almost the entire
world. A girdle of wire has been placed
around the earth; there is speedy and
reliable communication between all civilized countries
on the globe. The wireless system of telegraphy has
proved a wonderful agency in enlarging fne field for
electric communication. It has proved of practical
value to a certain extent for commercial uses. It has
also demonstrated its efficiency as a life-saver. Alto
gether, the development of the telegraph, from the days
of Professor Morse and his primitive Instruments to
the present day, has been marvelous and even magical.
Baltlpiore Sun.
a nr.'dal round is presumably suspend
ed at Pekin in regard to dust storms.
It is not wise to base final conclu
sions upon outward appearance. Ste
phen Powers made this mistake once
w hile traveling in the South. He tells
of the result in "Afoot and Alone." In
the "piny woods" of North Carolina
it Is hard to get a direct answer, yes
or no, from the natives. Mr. Powers
made up his mind that he would force
a decisive reply, and one day, meet
ing an old clay-eater astrido a donkey,
hauling a load of wood, he thought bis
opportunity had arrived.
The man's legs were so long that .i
could have doubled them round the
animal he rode. On one of his callous
heels he wore a mighty spur.
"Is there any tavern on the read to
Fayetteville?" I asked.
"Reckon you'mout find one if you:
look in the right place," was the re
sponse. "This Is the direct road to Fayette
ville, I suppose?"
"You'd be pretty apt to get there if
you keep a-golng straight ahead."
"Do you sell much wood In Favette
ville?" "I reckon this 'ere Jack thinks he
has to haul a right smart chance."
"Does wood bring ( a good price
now?"
"It's Jest according. Some fetches
more, and some agin not so much."
"Oak fetches more than pine, I sup
pose?" "It mout, and then aginit nioutn't."
"I believe you Southerners burn
green wood mostly?"
" 'Tain't particular. Every fellow
to his liking."
"Well, now, my friend," I said, de
termined to get something out of the
man before I gave up, "I'm writing a
book on the subject of wood, and I
want to get all the information I can.
If you were called upon in court ol
law to give your personal and un
biased opinion, you would declare on
oath, would you not, that one hundred
pounds of green oak would weigh
GETTING AN ANSWER. Si,
more than one hundred pounds aI
dry pine?" V
ine nwu Bve iue one quics glance,
then looked steadfastly at his don
key's ears.
"Well, now, stranger," ho drawled,
"you can Jest set down In your book
when you get to that place that all thf
people of North Carolina svere such
fools you had to weigh It yourself."
One Cold Saved.
Logic Is logic, whether It louche
the affairs of nations or a cold in the
head. The conviction, says London
Tit-Bits, was forced upon a Liverpool
woman whose coachman, although he .
had been ill for several days, appeared
one morning with his hair closely
cropped.
"Why, Dennis," said the mistress,
"whatever possessed you to have your
hair cut while you had such a bad
cold?"
"Well, mum," replied the unabashed
Dennis, "I do be takln' notice this
long while that whlnlver I have me
hair cut I take a bad cowld, bo I
thought to meself that now, while I
had the cowld on to me, it would be
the time of all others to go and get
me hair cuttln' done, for by that
course I would save meself Just ona"
cowld. Do you see the pjwer of mt
jeasonin', mum?"
Ilia Wiif of loiilnaT.
Miss de Style Am I the first
girl
you ever love!?
Mr. Gunbuata No; but 1 hope you'll
be tbe last. Judge.