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About Dakota County herald. (Dakota City, Neb.) 1891-1965 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 24, 1909)
Dakota County Herald DAKOTA CITY, NEB. John H. Raam, Publlshe Some men are born diplomats; oth wn talk to much. The D. F. 8. (Daughters of Football Burvlvors) will be meeting In 1925. It Is also a wise hypnotist who knows whether his subject Is dead or not. Railroads seem to be learning how to divide and subtract, as well as add and multiply. Kansas reports 2,000 babies short Jthia year. All other crops were up to the average, however. Next to fighting (or his life a nor tn&l man will make his hardest strug gle to keep out of Jail. Having; unquestioned supremacy on land, sea and In the air, Uncle Sam Is perplexed to know what next to cackle. Scientists say the male hair turns gray eight years sooner thaa the fem inine. PosBlbly forgotten birthdays Yittate the figures. It would be unfair to blame the bookworm for all the laziness In the world. Much of it Is shlftlessness for Which there is no cure. A Texas man has named his twins Cook and Peary. When they get older 'ihey can have Interesting arguments as to which one discovered the world first. The day will soon come when the aeroplane and the dirigible balloon will have a commercial value In time of peace S3 well as a strategic value in time of war. Americans find themselves Irresist ibly drawn toward games of chance whether it be a land drawing, a turkey raffle or a. bridge whist tournament where the prize is a nut cracker or a souvenir spoon. . Astronomers are quarreling about the craters on the moon, and two of the poets are threatening to fight a duel because one of them said a cer tain unnamed woman had a serpent's tongue. Isn't It awful, Mabel? u is a popular impression among men and boys that a woman cannot throw a stone, but In a recent contest held under the patronage of a Western newspaper, the winner, a girl of 18, threw a base ball more than 209 feet. A Texas town under the local option i law voted for license, but the wide awake prohibitionists applied for and Jbtalned all the licenses allowed by iw and then refused to open any sa loons. The Scripture which com mends the wisdom of the serpent has vldently beea read to some purpose la Texas. A new consultant dressmaker ad vises that a woman have a dress for very mood. When she is feeling de pressed, she should wear her gayest (own. The difficulty seems to he that when she got Into her glad rag she would be so ungovernably exultant that it would be necessary Immediate ly to change to something quiet, and thus the victim of moods would be forever changing. The male idea of trimming the coat-cuffs with the hears and letting it go at that, has Its advantages. Boston has Just raised, by popular subscription, a halt million dollars for new Young Men's Christian Assocla tlon building. Among all the contri butions none Is more interesting than that of a woman too poor to give any thing In money. She supports herself by making little twine boxes, which ha sells from door to door. To help the fund she sent seven of the boxes, With a letter apologizing for the small (teas of the gift, but expressing the bope that it might bring In a dollar or two. The story of the humble gift Was told at public meeting, and the boxes were put up at auction. They old for one hundred and thirty-two Collars a sum greater than that con Irlbuted by many well-to-do givers For the fiscal year on which the ad lutant general of the army has recent ly mad report the number of deser tions is placed at the astonishing fig ure of 4,993. or 4.87 per cent of the antare enlisted force. This U an In crease of .88 per cent over the deeer ttona of the yer before. As to tho causes of this remarkable defection from the ranks, Adjutant General Alns worta assigns ine aouiiuon of the canteen, th monotony of garrison life, die increased amount or work and study demanded of the soldier, and the ease with which remunerative employ ment can be obtained in civil life at the present time. All of these causes bave been attributed before to army desertions, and undoubtedly each con tributes to the dissatisfaction of the enlisted private. The restoration of the canteen would meet with strong opposition, and It Is doubtful If efforts In that direction would succeed at the present time. One would think that the additional work and stuily com plained of would destroy the monotony of garrison life. With the rewards Which certainly await efficiency and Intelligence even in the ranks, garrl son monotony should be appreciably diminished. Dull times in trade and business increase enlistments, and when prosperous seasons return to the coantry the enlisted men naturally long for the freedom and opportunities of civil life. Monotony, we should say, is the worst enemy of the soldier In times of peace, but It would seem as though the War Department might easily devise means to overcome this tnd make the enlisted man more con tented with his condition. It is now a banker who takes his Ung at the colleges, charging tham with Inefficiency In preparing young men for business lid. In an address before the Massachusetts Teachers' As sociation, J. O. Cannon deplored the "surprising lack" of business training available for college students to en able them to meet the conditions of "what Is essentially a business na tion," and declared that In this par ticular "American colleges are one hundred years behind the tlmee." Is there any side on which the colleges have been left unassalled? Their mor als, the encouragement they give to extravngance; football, fraternity life, the endeavor of Institutions with old fashioned Ideals to cling to a classical curriculum, have been attacked. Col lege presidents themselves have de nounced the failure of colleges to con form to "modem demands." But the muck-Taking of the higher education takes a curious form In the Indictment of its shortcomings In preparing young men for banks and brokers' offices. Is this the function of colleges? If It Is, the sooner campuses are established In Wall street and In the great Industrial centers the better for the quality of In struction. Tho necessity will then be indicated of including corporation presidents and chairmen of boards in the faculty. Hut In a larger sense the opinion that American colleges do not prepare for business careers Is contro verted by the testimony of competent foreign observers who have noted that business life In America, on account of the large clement of college men represented in it, Is now on a higher plane than In any other country. The colleges may not equip students for positions in offices or mills, but they do provide that broader foundation for future prominence in commercial af fairs the evidences of which are on every hand. It Is not without sig nificance that Industry In America has attained Its highest development at the very time when the participation of college-educated men in business is greatest. , m EMBARRASSING POPULARITY $ 3 f tCf fr(CtftV(fttf lf Cfe w-vnv I An amusing result of the popularity of Father Mathew, the great temper ance advocate, Is recorded In a recent book by Edward Gllllat, M. A., entitled "Heroes of Modern Crusades." Father Mathew had arrived In the dusk of the evening at the house of a parish priest in a remote part of Calway. Ills host conducted him to a room on the ground floor, In which was a largo bay window without blind or curtain. No sooner was Father Mathew in bed than he turned his face to thq wall and fell into a deep slumber. Awaking, ns usual, at an early hour in the morning, he opened his eyes. repeated a prayer, and turned toward the window. What was his dismay to see a crowd of people of both sexes and all ages standing tiptoe In front of the big bay window, some even flattening their noses against the glass, all eager to get a peep at his reverence. A more modest roan than he did not exist, and great was his embarrass- ment. He looked round furtively for a bell rope, but such a luxury was not to be thought of In a priest's house In Qalway! He dare not even put a leg out to stamp on the floor; he was fair ly in prison between the blankets. The crowd was growing larger and the talk louder. He could hear bits. such as: Do ye see him, Mary, asthore?" Danny, agra, lave me take a look. an' uoa niess ye, cnnai ' nh. wlsha. there's the Messed nrlmt abed!" "Mammy, there he lies, a-snoozln! can see his poll!" Three mortal hours did I Ihe prisoner wish for deliverance. Then his host came tapping, afraid to disturb his guest too early, saw the boys at gaze, and sent Pat to clear them off the house front MTffB. STEINHEIL'S ESCAPE. Conaervatlre Parla Ilellavea Thai Jaatlce II mi Been Defeated. Desalts the DODularitv of. the verdict which freed Mme. Katherlne Stelnhoil of the chance of murilMrlnar her hua- band and mother, there are not a few anions' thn r.onservat iva iimpnt of 1arla eocety who believe that Justice has been cheaDted bv the suDDresalon rt .uin.. f ... The court scrunulmmlv excluded all evidence pertaining to the dashing career of the "Red Widow" from the time she cnade her debut in Paris bohemlan society and became the ao- knowledged queen. It is known that among her worshipers were men fa mous in every walk of life. There la also no longer any question that Pres ident Faure died at her house, and to i this day the circumstances of the de mise are veiled In mystery. The Journalists who attended the fa mous trial noticed twrtlcularly that whenever the Inquisition on the part of the prosecutor or Judge became too dangerous for the safety of the de fense, the woman accused uttered threats of making disclosures that would Btlr a hornet's nest in French politics, and despite the apparent de fiance of the judge that she do so, the Inquisition was gradually mollified. It will be remembered, says Henri Chevalier In the Cincinnati Enquirer. that at oue time during the hearing when the evidence seemed to become particularly convincing of her guilt, M.uie. Stelnbeil excitedly said to the Judge: "You ought to have pity on me. So far 1 have shown perfect discretion. Do not exasperate me any longer. I am defending myself because unfor tunately I am obliged to, hut if you drive me to It I will cease to he dis creet. Do you understand?" All this was said with lightning rapidity. The president Immediately dealt with another point. There Is no doubt that Mme. Stela hell could tell details of the Faure death or assaKslnutlon and the preced ing political plots that would create an awrui scanuai. And there are many who think that' tho possession of these secret saved her from punishment for at least com - pllclty in the terrible double murdet Is Your Ideal Husband the Man Who Helps or the Good Provider? 11 mMM& 30 'V The Ideal Husband What Is he? The man who helps as well as pro vides? In the opinion of the Denver News it's not enough for Mr. Husband t dig out n living at his office all day long and then come borne cheerful and smiling, It la nlso up to him to come home and be glad to go into the kitch AGE AND YOUTH. Youth takes its Joy from ImpefuV dreams Of future prizes to be won, Of voyages on unknown streams In realms beyond the rising sun. But Age, reflective Age, delights .. i.iii,rVifa .lvlnf rave in turning to the joyous Bights Of unforgotten Yesterdays. I know not which more joy imparts, Which hath the sweeter taste, the page That tells of Hope In youthful hearts. Or tender memories of age. John Kendrlck Bangs In Success Magazine. The spacious drawing room present ed an animated appearance. "Who's that speaking to our host ess?" asked one of the guests of a friend. "My dear fellow, moderate your curi osity. She's only an ordinary woman, attractive luuu6u """" , to you. I ve known ouier poopm iu some' way about her." The two men approached as the woman moved in the direction of a window recess. She had not quite reached It, however, when hearing her name, "Elsie," she turned to be con fronted by the men. "Let me introduce my friend, Mr. Ward," said one. "You'll find him very interesting on anything and every thing connected with numismatics. He could tell a Caesar ha penny irom a Victoria one with his eyes shut." And with the slight grin that accompanied this attempt at wit the speaker bowed himself off. "Madam, I beg you won't think It too ridiculous, but it's scarcely my fault. Mr. Molloy certainly Introduced us in a sort of way, but he unfortu nately neglected your name." "How stupid of him. I thought you knew. I'm Mrs. Molloy." This was the unexpected with vengeance, and it was some time be fore Ward got the better of it I really must beg your pardon. ought to have known better." "Not at all. A very handsome girl who had jUBt enteral and was chatting animatedly with Molloy near the other end of the room brought the pair in me wjuuuw tn a. tonic that was for the tlina being one of public importance The topic was the latest novel from the pen of Edgar Molloy. and the girl now standing at bis siae was u ong lnal of his heroine. "You know Miss Lascelles, of courser' said Ward. "Just enough to be aware of her identity." "Indeed!" Ward raised his eye brows; '1 thought perhaps, consider ing the circumstances, you would have met often." n vnu know Miss LascellesT' was the remark by which she shut down w the other's curiosity. "Oh. yes, very well," he replied, believe I was the first man she got to It now this side of the Atlantic. It was i who Introduced her to your hu band." Th last remark was an astute searcher, but It fell flat "Perhaps," she said, "if you find it oulte convenient you might contrive tn lot me have a few minutes' chat with her. I feel I shall like to kuow her better." At that moment someone had but ton-holed Molloy. Miss Lascelles with a nod uiul a umlle edged away from him ami was looklns; round the room I when nho caught sight of Ward, wh took a couple of steps forward "How d'you do?" and Ward, turnln to Mrs. Molloy, said: "Ijadies, I don't I know whether Introduction is neces- ' sary between you, but If It Is a case of relict It Ion 1 shall throw myself on , your genorslty mid beg to be excused Mrs. Volley Miss Lascelles." Thete w.ia a brief silence and then the Anieil.au girl remarked, "I thin Mr. Mclloy is very clever." I "iou vo Known iugar almost ever iuce you came over?" "Yes; for blx months.' 1 "I coeni to know you so well. I fancy it's largely --' to the book. . .;-r. . h mm firm The Author's Wife J en after dinner, take a towel and help with the dishes. The really Ideal Hus band, if there Is such a thing beneath the moon. Is the man who wlllinx'y dips Into the household cares after bis own have been pigeon holed in Ms office, and not the selfish, ve!ve-allp-pered, smoking-jacketed den dweller who rushes from his dinner to h!n cigar and forgets that wlfey Is pplush Ing about In a dish pan. Another woman, who's got wind of the idea of Maggie Shand, Harrle's most winsome and illuminating hero ine, says the will find the ideal hus band when she can find a mau who is willing and will laugh at himself. "The man who will laugh at himself," as serts Barrle through Maggio' Hps, "claims relation to the woman who was made, not out of man's rib but out of his funny bone and therefore may be counted on to keep the world and his home a sweet and wholesome place." What woman wouldn't go miles to find such a partner? For ns sure as the sun does shine he would be a real soul mate. Therefore It Is the duty of husbands, if they would be counted among the Ideals of a wom an, to be helpful; to bo laughers, and to share not to dominate. The ideal husband would never for a moment Imagine or demand that his ideal wife should not aim higher than mere success In the culinary depart- "Yes; everyone's talking about it." The author's wife looked at the fine picture of young womanhood beside her, and said thoughtfully, "And you Inspired It. What a great deal Edgar owes to you." "On the contrary, I have always thought it Is I who owe him a great deal." "Is that' -because he made you the original of his heroine?" "Well, perhaps." "You think a great deal of Edgar?" Beatrice Lascelles replied slowly, "Yes, I do." "A great many women do that. He is very attractive. I want to speak very frankly to you, dear, and I do so hope you will not think me unkind or too interfering for doing it." After a moment's hesitation she added, "You're very fond of Edgar." A shadow of defiance reflected Itself on the girl's face. "And if I am?" she said. "Remember, dear, that I'm his wife. But even bo, believe me, I'm not thinking so much of myself as of you and him." "Well?" ' "Edgar and you have been much to gether lately, and the result is a story hlch everyone Is talking about and nearly everyone Is praising. I read it carefully bit by bit as he wrote. Ed gar and I discussed you together." Something crept Into the girl's face that showed resentment of having been the topic of conversation between the HEMKMIIKK, I'M lilrt WIFE. woman beside her and the man she loved. 'Then, perhaps, I'm more in dobted to you than to your husband," she remarked. "No; It is Edgar's book, not mine. But I want you to see that he is at first of all a novelist.' "Perhaps you mean to suggest that he has been amusing himself at my expense." "Please do not think that I suggest anything. Edgar and I have lived to gether for nine years. He is 38, I am 31. Edgar has always been thoughtful and scrupulously polite to everyone he has had to do with. But he means nothing by it In your own case, for example, he met you and almost at once conceived the Idea of writing book around you. And so he culti vated your friendship and drew you out. Painters and sculptors must have models; I suppose It's just as neces sary for authors to have them, too." These words told deeply upon the girl, and there was no longer defiance In her tone or appearance as she aswed, "Why do you tell ine all this?' "Because I liked you, from the story I mean, and I was sorry that you had got to care for Edgar so much us Imagined you had, without anything to hope for except more misery the longer it lasted." "I suppose I ought to thank you for what you've done," the girl remarked in a sort of feellngless way. "No, dear, you needn't do that. I know you must hate me for it. But perhaps some day you'll be glad." So endod a g.tnie of bluff played with a master's skill. Elsie Molloy knew the limitations of her band, but she also knew its strength. There was no trace of haste, no vestige of anxiety or doubt. For months she bad been aware of her husband's attachment to this girl, for months she had been si lently ready for this battle, and its suddenness when it came had been as disastrous for the sweetheart as k had been triumphant for tht wife. Tatler. I lull 'm ment, for if a man truly loves a worn an a weight in his digestive apparatui will not affect the lightness of his car. diacal region, according to the word ol a masculine troubling over the Idea." Wife-Husband controversy. One ladj advertises most frankly for a gentle man "who looks like a sport," whict would seem to be doing away with tht domestic Idea. RURAL FREE DELIVERY. J 'Why won't my folks remember to address my letters as I've told them to? I've written repeatedly to tell them how my mail gets all mixed ur with that of those Cartrights in tht village, and yet they forget!" Thereupon Miss Cartrlght sat dowc at her desk and wrote several emphat ic postal cards being quite at the end of patience, and having had trouble with her mail ever since she rented this place north of Croton. A few days later she received th following letter from her favorite nephew, Bob: Dear Aunt Betty. Having had from you a Itoasting, Furious, Dictatorial communication, I a youth ordinarllj Radiant, Facetious, Debonair have suddenly become Rueful, Flustrated, Despondent. After Ransacking Forty Dictionaries In vain search for light on the cryptic signs, I nevertheless bow meekly tc your stern command at least I do on the Inside of the letter, as you can see for yourself. But to a Rational Fel low, Deliberating profoundly, only one way, alas! suggests itself of working 'em in on the outside. You yourself brought me up to thirst after Reasons For Doctrines, so, foi goodness' sake, let me know by return mall why on earth you Insist upon my inscribing cabalistic initials on youi mall matter. Yours, Robert Flabbergasted but Devoted still Turning hastily to examine Bob's en velope, Mls3 Cartrlght Baw why the postman had been so "queer" thii morning. He had handed out her mall, his face all in a broad grin, and had remarked, as he drove off, s'pose the original old Rural Free De livery puts up here, don't he?" Bob's letter was addressed to Miss Elizabeth Cartrlght "In care of the Hon. R. F. D., Es" . : i SCOTCH TEACHER LAUDS WEST. SIIkk llrrmmer Say Women Ara Capable and Climate la Ideal. Kate F. Bremner, "infants' mis tress," Albion road school, Edinburgh, Scotland, was one of the teachers from Great Britain sent to the United States by Alfred Mosley a couple of years ago, She was In Omaha, among other cities, and- has sent to Superintendent David sou's office a little pamphlet contain ing her Impression of "the states," the Omaha Bee says. "Rumors of the open-hearted kind ness and hospitality of the American In his own country had reached me be fore I crossed the Atlantic. Rumor in this case fell far short of reality. The courtesy and consideration which met me wherever I went, In Canada or In America, made my visit an experience of such pleasure and profit as Is a joy and inspiration even In remembrance." Of her observations In this section, which speaks of as "out West," the Scotch teacher says: l touna many most capable worn' an principals and came to the conclu sion that pioneer life, where men and women were comrades and colleagues, had engendered a certain type of colo nial woman of broad outlook, large heartedness and sound judgment, ready to fill any position of power with a ca pacity for rule which Is not so gener ally characteristic of the women at home, because here, until compara tively lately, she never had an oppor tunity to map out her own career and take her chance alongside of her more fortunate brother. What she will be come In a generation or two at the present rate of enfranchisement re mains to be seen." The grand climate of the West also made a distinct hit with Miss Brem ner, for she grows eloquent over It In several places, at one point writing "The effect of the climate is felt In t he Irrepressible optimism of the American people, who carry to their work the enthusiasm and strenuous uess with which we also feel endowed when rejoicing in the glory of a day of sunshine and clear air." How He Knew the Time. "Lady," said the ragged individual at the door, "I'm a clock repairer. II yer clock runs fast or slow I kin fix it It's Jlst 12:30 now." "How do you know it la?" asked the housekeeper. "'Cause I always git hungry at It: 3.M Philadelphia Preaa- EM ' com r. ' . ' i il i " III Lurk, "Why so glum to-day, Herr Profes sor?" "Last time I walked through the forest the wasps bothered me fright fully. To-day I took my new wasp poison along and not a single one came near me." LachendO Jahrhund- ert. An Nye l'rnt. "llv wife Mvs nhe would rather go to cooking school than play bridge Whist, said one man. "So would mine," replied the other. But I'd rather have her play bridge." "Is she a poor cook?" "No, but she's a good bridge player." Washington Star. A l.oiio; Walt. Golfer The day I get round these links In under a hundred, I'll give you a shilling, Sandy! Caddie Hoo will I want It when I'm cfrawln' me auld-age pension? Punch. Tint Yet "Ftnlahed." "Is your daughter a finished musl clan?" "Not yet. You see, the neighbors haven't dared to carry out their threats." I'leaalngr Mother. Daughter So, mamma, you desire me to marry Mr. Baldhead. I simply detest him; he's a perfect idiot; it would take too long to enumerate all his faults. Mother Very well, my dear; you'll be able to tell him all that when you are married. Pele Mele. Ilia Chief Aim. "What will be your chief aim, now you are in Congress?" asked the in terviewer. "To stay there," answered the la conic young stateman. Exchange. A Proad Preroicatlre. "When can a boy be said to have arrived at man's estate?" "When he begins giving his old clothes to his father." Kansas City Journal. Muah. "And what did you say you call this room?" "The mushroom." "What a queer name for a parlor!" "Yes; but appropriate; my seven sisters became engaged In this room." Houston Post lleflaltlon. "How do you define 'black as your hat'?" said a schoolmaster to one of his pupils. "Darkness that may be felt," re plied the budding genius. Columbia Jester. A Novel Kruptton. "I want to get a good novel to read on the train something pathetic." "Let me see. How would 'The Last Days of Pompeii' do?" "Pompeii? I never hard of him. What did he die of?" "I'm not quite eure, ma'am, some kind of eruption, I've heard." Ideas. Keiuhltorly. "So you don't like that crowing rooster?" "I -haven't anything against the rooster personally. But every time he crows he reminds me that I don't like the people he belongs to." Washing ton Star. Oae WUh linfulBlled. Wife You promised that If I would marry you my every wish would be gratified. Husband Well, isn't it? Wife No; I wish I hadn't married you. Illustrated Bits. Qualified Admiration. Hlow do you like my hair,' Jane?" "Pretty well. But you can get bet ter puffs than those at the store round the corner for 12 ttnts." Cleveland Plain Dealer. Caaae for Nervonaneaa. "I am always horribly nervous when I buy a suit of clothes from a strange tailor." "Yes, a person you don't know is bard to stand off." Houston Post. T . 3 1 Ml tf fan. Jests Hrllrr Not Snld. Mrs. Myles I nniHt go now. Mrs. Styles Oh, ren.lly, must youT "Yea, really." "Well, I'll come down and see you out." "Oh, you needn't put yourself to that trouble, Mrs. Styles. I can find my way out." "Oh, It's no trouble, I assure you, Mrs. Myles. I shall be delighted to see you out!" Yonkers Statesman. A Kllltht Mlatake. Old lady (to druggist) I want s box of cnnlne pills. Druggist What's the matter with the dog? Old lady (indignantly) I want you to know, sir, that my husband is a gentleman! The druggist put up some quinine pills In profound silence. Leslie's Monthly. The lllRhcxt Tribunal. Cheerless Chauncey I tol' de loidy who owned dese tools dat I wuz once admitted to practice at de bar. Drowsy Dan What's dat you're sayln'? Cheerless Chauncey An' she asked me if I ever practiced at a bar o' soap. Exchange. Didn't ray. "So you don't think advertising pays?" "Nope; I advertised for a wife once." "And failed to get one?" "Nope, got one." Houston Pos The - Ileaaon. "Ah, well, wealth does not bring happiness!" "Then why not give your wealth to me?" "I think too much of you to want you to be unhappy." Houston Post Varied Formula. "Did he tell the whole truth?" "Practically. He told the truth with a hole just large enough for him to crawl out of it." Puck. Phoe Pinched. Photographer Look pleasant, please, Customer One moment, then; I must take off these new shoes. Flle- gende Blatter. No Chance to Learn. Master You should bring the glass of water on a tray; you learned very bad habits In your last place. Servant They never drank water. Fllegende Blatter. Arrived at a Concluaton. "My husband is the biggest taikei you ever heard," began the new ac quaintance. "Oh; I'm so glad,'" said the other lady who had been introduced; "my husband is a barber, too." St. Louli Star. Making Htm Pay. "I say," said the messenger boy, "that near-sighted man in 496 just fell over a broom and spilled a pall of water on himself." "Take him up a towel," said the hotel manager, "and charge htm for one bath." Tit-Bits. The Candidate. "I hear he made his canvass in a touring car." f "Yes; he went around in a 1907 model." "And it was shrewd campaigning. He caught the old-fashioned vote." Kansas City Journal. Tom my 'a Only Ileaaon. "You wouldn't be cruel enough to shoot a harmless little bird with a big gun, would you?" asked the kind lady. "Naw," answered Tommy Tuffnut. "I kin hit 'em easier with a slingshot."' St. Louis Star. Her Ambition. Mary Ann had been Mrs. Gunther't cook and had left her service to marry Pat Mahone. A year later Mrs. Gun ther heard that Mary Ann had not only become a widow, but was for the second time a joyful bride. It was therefore with a sense of shock ed surprise that she met her former handmaid in the street oue day clad in the deepest and darkest of widow's weeds. "Why, Mary Ann!" exclaimed the lady, "I am sorry to see this 1 thought that you were happily mar ried again." " 'Tis true, I am," responded Mary Ann with a great cheerfulness, "and me present husband Is a fine man. But you see 'twas this way: When Pat died, I couldn't, but I says to my self, If ever 1 can 1 will and now I am!" The Wlan to Scatter Joy. There Is no beautlfier of complexion or form or behavior like the wish to scatter joy around us. Emerson. Every time a man falls to make good be Invents a naw excuse.