What Gold
Cannot Buy
Hy MUS. jLEJfjJVTH
Author of "A Crooked Path," "Maid. Wife or Widow," "By
Woman' Wit," "Beaton' Bargain," "A Llfo Intercut, "
"Mona's Choice," "A Woman' Heart."
I I lllllll.
CHAPTER IV.
The Ylndlctlve pleasure of signing
her will, and receiving a still acknowl
dgment from Mr. Rawson of Its
safe receipt, occupied Mrs. Savllle for
a few days, before the expiration of
which she received a few polite lines
from Miss Rawson saying that. If
quite convenient, Miss Desmond would
call on Mrs. Savllle between one and
two on the following day.
"I am sure I hope she will do, end
not be too Billy," thought the Imperi
ous little woman, as she penned a
brief acceptance of the apolntment
"The generality of wonien are wonder
fully foolish and narrow; though men
are Idiotic enough too, occasionally. A
whole day of Richard's company la al
most more than I can stand; yet he
la always respectable, and would never
commit the culpable folly his there, I
will not think any more of that"
The morrow came bright and warm,
and Mrs. Savllle established herself In
the smaller of her two drawing rooms,
a beautiful and gorgeously-furnished
room, full of buhl and marble-Inlaid
tables, luxurious chairs and sofas, old
china statuettes, flowers, and all the
etceteras which wealth can give. It
opened on a small conservatory In
which a fountain played, and was cool
er than her boudoir.
She was half-recllnlng among the
cushions of a lounge, with her pre
cious little dog beside her, and trying
to give her attention to a newspaper,
when the door was opened and "Cap
tain Lumley" was announced.
"Why, where did you come from?"
she exclaimed, not too cordially, and
holding out her small-berlngcd hand to
a tall, slight, well-set-up young man,
with light hair and moustaches, laugh
ing eyes, and a certain resemblance to
Hugh Savllle, though ot a slighter,
weaker type.
"From Herondyke, my dear aunt,"
be returned, drawing a chair beside
her. "I have Just a day or two in
town, and I thought I'd try If you
were still here."
"Are you on your way to Houm
lowr
"Yes, Just like my luck! they give
me my leave when there's not a thing
to do. And that young beggar MIg
nolles, my sub, gets It next week."
"I suppose you are all as usual?"
"Yes. Uncle Everton Is at Heron
dyke JiiBt now, and in great force. He
In the most amusing old boy I ever
met Are you better, Aunt Savllle?
My uncle said be called here on his
way through, and you were not well
enough to see him."
"I was not well; and I certainly
should not get out ot my bed to see
Lord Everton."
"Wouldn't you? Well, I Oh ah
yes, to be sure," said the young man,
hesitating. "I am glad to see you look
ing so much better, at all events," he
went on. "When do you go down to
Inglefleld?"
"On Saturday."
"I can often ride over and see you,'
continued Lumloy, with a fascinating
smile. He had a nice voice and a
pleasant caressing manner; Indeed, he
was considered a very Irresistible
young man by the women, and "not a
bad fellow" by the men.
"You are very good," frigidly.
"I suppose there is hardly a soul
left In town. Just called at the Mont
gomerys', and found the house shut
up; o I came on here to have a chat
and a bit of luncheon."
"My dear George, I don't mean to
give you any luncheon. . A lady Is
coming here; she - ought to be here
now. I am going to test her qualifies
tlona for the onerous office ot compan
ion to myself, and I can't have you
here talking nonsense.
"Won't she be a bore?"
"Do you think I shall allow myself
to be bored 7
"Well, no, Aunt Savllle," said Lum
ley, with a bright suille, "I don't think
you will."
Here the door was again thrown
open, and the butler announced, with
much dignity, "Miss Desmond."
"There, you may go," said Mrs- Sa
vllle, impatiently.
"Very well," said the young man,
good-humoremy. "i will call again be
fore I leave town. My mother sent
you her best love.
"I amrvery much obliged. If you
want a dinner, come back here."
"A thouband thanks, I am already
engaged. Au revolr!" Ilo shook hand
and retreated, pausing ut the door to
let a lady pass a tall, Blender young
woman, In a simple black dress, as
Straight as it could be at that period
of flounces, furbelows, draperies, and
Bashes. The newcomer was young, yet
youthfully mature; she wore a quiet,
becoming bonnet, and was rather pale
warmly, healthfully pale with
wavy iiut-browu hair, a pair of dark
gray or blue eyes, deepened by nearly
black brows and lashes, a sweet pa
tbetlo mouth and red dewy Hps,
moved witn easy undulating grace
suggestive of long, well-formed limbs
-"A fine girl," was the young dra'
goon's mental commentary, as he etood
aside to let her pass, and, with a slight
bow, disappeared from the room.
"Miss Desmond," repeated Mrs. Sa
vllle, "come and sit here bi-slde me.'
Ehe looked piercingly at her visitor as
she made a Blight courtesy and handed
her a note before taking a beat, say
ing, in a oft, clear, refined voice, "Mr
Rawson waa bo good as to give me a
few introductory lines."
"Quite right A lawyer's Instinctive
precaution," returned Mrs. Savllle,
opening it and glancing at the con
t.-M.
I suppose you know the usual sort
of service expected from a companion?
reading aloud, writing letters, doing
the agreeable when there la no one
else to talk, and, above all, understand
ing when to be silent. It can't be the
most delightful Vnd of life; but you
will have a comfortable home if you
stay.
Miss Desmond had colored faintly
while sho listened, and now smiled, a
p. easant smile, though her Hps quiv
ered as If she were a little nervous.
"When you want to earn your bread,
you do not expect to be housed and
paid merely to amuse yourself. I
Uiink I know what my duties would
be."
"Add to this knowledge that I am a
very exacting person, without a tinge
of sentiment. I have no notion of
treating any one who does me certain
service for certain remuneration as a
daughter. That la all nonsenpe."
"I think it is," said Miss Desmond,
calmly.
Mrs. Savllle looked at her sharply,
and met a pair of very steadfast eyes
in which eomethlng like a smile lurk
ed. "How old are you?" she asked
abruptly.
"I shall be two and twenty In Sep
tember next"
"Hum! you look at once more and
less than that Can yon read aloud?'
"Yes. Whether I can read well la
for you to Judge."
"Can you play or sing?
"I can play a little "
"I know what that means. Now
suppose you read me this speech of
Lord Hartington's," handing her the
paper. Miss Desmond took It, and Im
mediately began. After about ten m!n
utea Mrs. Savllle said, not unkindly,
"That will do. You read fairly well.
You do not pronounce some names
properly."
"For names there is no rule, and
sometimes opinions respecting them
differ. I shall, of course, pronounce
them In the way you prefer."
Mrs. Savllle was silent for a mo
ment. "If you are Inclined to try a
couple of months with me, I am will
Ing to try you."
"That is beBt. Trial only can prove
If we suit each other."
"Have you settled about terms with
Mr. Rawson?"
"Yes; they are most satisfactory."
"Very well. I shall go to the coun
try in a day or two, and then I hope
you will Join me. You have been on
the Continent, I believe; then you can
read French?"
"Yes, fairly well."
"There la the belL Pray Join me at
luncheon."
Thank you, I shall be very happy.'
Takes things coolly," thought Mrs.
Savllle; "knows her own value, proba
bly. So much the better. I could not
stand a gushing girl."
At luncheon the hostess Btartod var
lous topics in an easy, unstudied way,
and found that her young guest,
though far from talkative, was quite
equal to dlscusnlng them Intelligently.
As soon as they rose from the table,
Miss Desmond took leave of her now
lady patroness, promising to obey her
summons whenever it came.
"Really," thought Mrs. Savllle, as
she dressed for an afternoon airing, "I
believe that girl may do. If she does
not, why, it is no great matter. She
certainly has the air and mannor of a
gentlewoman."
CHAPTER V.
Mrs. Savllle was far too much
occupled by her bitter reflections and
venceful projects to bestow mn
thoughts upon the new member of her
household. But Miss Desmond re
ceived the expected summon In due
course, and Journeyed punctually by
the appointed train towards her new
home.
Inglefleld, Mrs. Savllle's nlace. had
an air of seclusion not to be found at
double the distance in other dlrec
tlons. The picturesque country round
Egham was comparatively free from
the eruption of villa residences which
crowd other localities.
Mrs. Savllle, who felt the nuiet nf
her country home rather oppressive,
began to wish for some one to break
the painful monotony of her thoughts
some ono whoso face and voice were
quite unconnected with the past "the
past," to her, meaning the ev:;r -present
Image ot her offending son. Sho had
a certain senso of re; let in the pros
pect of companionship, for In truth
she was, and always had been, a very
lonely woman. When, therefore, short
ly before dinner, Miss Desmond ar
rived, bho was received with rompara
tlve cordiality.
"I told them to scna flown the omnI
bus, as It would be more rruvenlint
for your luggage," said Mrs. Savllle
after tliey had exchanged greetings.
"My lugsane consisted of one dress
basket," suld Miss Desmond, smiling
"Contililerlng that my btay may be cul
short, I did not like to bring more.'
"That was prudent Now I am r.o
Ing to dine early that is ,at six in
order to take a drive afterwards; the
evenings are the best part of tho day.
That first evening was tnliiK. Mrs
Savllle waa very silent, but so long as
they moved stiino'hly and rapidly
through cool dewy woods, fragrant
fluids, and gently winding lane; with
rustic fence and plcturcsqucly-broken
banks, tho silence w:u not oi.nreaslve
Miss Desmond had plenty to thiuk of
the struggles and difficulties of
youth spent In genteel poverty; the
loss of her nearest and dearesti the
vanishing ot many a dream that even
a twenty-two life had taugV ber must
during hope wh'rh In such strange aa
tuca is too deeply rooted to be scorch
ed by the noouVdn beat or wintered
by the midnight bla-.t the !n:t!nrtlve
consciousness of hT own tenderness
and loyally, which crave vitality to her
belief In the possibility of ImpplnoM.
The quiet benuty of th country, the
soothing tranquillity of the hour, pave
her an exquisite sense of rest which
she thankfully accepted.
Returned, however, and shut up In
the lamp-Tit drawing room, silence did
heroine oppressive, and Miss Desmond,
remembering her employer's hint, felt
reluctant to break It.
"I suppose you do needlework? Girls
like you generally have something of
that kind in their hands."
"I do a good deal, snd I have some
that can appear In a drr.wlng-room."
"I used to do fancy-work myself,"
said Mrs. Savllle, "for it Is Intolerable
to sit Idle; but I fln.l I dare not trifle
with my eyes, which I have always
tried too much. However, I must do
something. I cannot sit with my
hands before mo while you read."
"Knitting Is not bad for the eyes."
suggested Miss Desmond.
"I have always despised It as pure
ly mechanical, but now I shall be
obliged to adopt It. Do yon know how
to knit? ran you teach me?"
"Ye's; I did a good deal of knitting
when I was in Germany."
"Oh! do you understand German?"
"I could make my way in Germany;
but I cannot read German aloud as I
do French."
"And I do not understand a word of
the language. I was only taught
French and Italian. Ah, what a po
tent epitome of mankind's opinion, the
rage for that uncouth tongue as soon
as the race that speaks It succeeded!
Success U the measure of everything."
"I cannot think bo. We have no
plumb-line with which to fathom the
depth where future triumph lies hid
den under present failure."
"Tiat is no argument," returned
Mrs. Savllle. "Now, Miss Desmond, I
am going to my room, and I dare Bay
you will be glad to do the same. I
breakfast in summer at eight Good
night." The next few days enabled Mrs. Sa
vllle and her newly-established com
panlon to fit Into their places. "She Is
less formidable than I expected,"
thought the latter. "I must keep con
stantly before my mind that she Is on
her trial with me, as I am with her.
I am not bound to spend my life here,
nor have I given up my freedom. She
interests me; for, hard as she seems,
I believe she is not without heart
Shall I, ever be able to find it?"
"That girl Is not so tiresome, after
all. She is not a bit afraid ot me,'
mused Mrs. Savllle. "How I hate and
despise folly and cowardice! they gen
erally go together. There's a great
deal of style about her, yet she must
have been always steeped to the lips
In poverty. If I had a daughter like
her, I should want the first statesman
In England for her husband. Bah!
what folly! It I had had a daughter
she would have been as indifferent to
me as the rest, and would probably
have married a groom to spite me. Ai
no one cares for me, I had better con
centrate my affections on myself. Peo
ple may be indifferent to love, they are
never Indifferent to power; and money
Is power, especially if backed by com
mon sense."
So the knitting and reading went on
successfully, and Mrs. Savllle was
sometimes surprised by the light-hearted
enjoymtnt which her companion
showed In any drolleries which crop
ped mi in the course of their readings.
Mrs. Savllle herself was not without a
certain grim sense of humor, but she
wo? sometimes surprised, and not too
well pleased, at the quick perception
of the ridiculous which so often
gleamed In Miss Desmond's expressiv
eyes.
(To be continued.)
WON DRESSFROm" JEFFERSON,
Ortulnnl ttrctclien In "Mo Van Win.
lie" Still I.I v I nit In London.
Mrs. John Billington, who la still
living In London and who took tin
original part of Gretchen In Josepli
.Tefferson'd first production ot Dion
Bouclcaulfs "Rip Van Winkle" It
London in 1S65, relates that in thosi
la) b an American actor wat lc.VitcJ
upon In the same light a Cnrokee In
dtan would be at this time, the New
York Herald says. When she waa toU
there were only two women in th
play and that she waa suited to neltb
er part, she said: "Then I shall g
through the Provinces with Toole." Bu'
to this Rouelcault objected, as he al
ways wanted her to appear in his pro
duetions, so she was obliged to plaj
the part of Gretchen.
The play was a great success from
the very beginning. There were flvt
or six curtain calls after the first act
and Mrs. Fillllngton said to Mr. JefTen
son, "It will run a hundred nights.'
Mr. Jefferson modestly replied thai
he was willing to wager that It would
not.
"What will you bet?" said the act
ress.
"I nm willing to wager a now sill
dress to a silk hat." was the reply.
The piece ran 170 nights, and t
this day Mrs. Billlngton points to I
photograph taken of herself In tin
very ulllc dress she won in her bel
with Jefferson.
t-'o euro was Ituuclcault of the fall
tire of the play that he refused to bt
present at tho first performance, and
It 'vns several nights before Jcffersoi
knew him to be among those present
In the audience, recognizing him bj
bU shiny bald bead. After the pen
formance the author went nround t
the actor's dressing room nnd cougrat
ulated blm.
"Hut." he said, "Joe," I think yoi
aro bhootlng over their heads."
"I am not even shooting at the!)
heads," was the reply. "I am alniln
at their hearts."
After the first week In London 11
was Joe Jefferson's "Rip Van Winkle,'
not Boucleault's. although the play,
wrlght was at that time bo populai
that the name of Iloueieault alone woi
sufficient to draw a large house, and.
the name of Jefferson did not appeal
In big letters, nor was It even "tea
tured."
Upon his return America greeted,
the wanderer, proud of the victory od
ao American actor in an America!
THE FIRST rASSEUGHl
f I J " " T Is a curious fact that it was the South Carolina Railroad that
jjl TT 1 hastened the beginning of the New York & Erie Railroad, and
made It the second railroad in the world projected and de
signed for the use of locomotive power. When the Erie was
ready to piaco Its first locomotive in service in 1S31 there
were only four locomotives In use In this country, and only
one railroad then In operation hail been built with the original
Intention of having locomotives as Its motive power. This was the South
Carolina Rallrond, between Charleston on the coast and Hamburg on the
western border of South Carolina. In December, 1S30, the first six miles of
that railroad were opened. The pioneer locomotive built for use upon it
was designed by Horatio Allen, who became president of the New York St
Erie Railroad Company some years' later. It was built at the West Point
foundry, New York City, and was named "The Uet Friend of Charleston."
The engine was placed on the railroad in October, 1830.
After several trips the locomotive was pronounced ready for regular
operation, and it was attached to the first train load of passengets er
drawn by a locomotive in this country, Jan. 15, 1831. The success of the
trial trip satisfied railroad men that a similar road would be feasible be
tween New York and Lake Erie. "The Best Friend of Charleston" was thus
Instrumental in spurring men to action in the matter of a railroad between
the Hudson river and Lake Erie. The history of Its career and fate may
properly have a place In this chronicle. That history waa thus tersely re
lated in the Charleston Courier of June 18, 1831:
"The locomotive 'Best Friend' started yesterday morning to meet the
lumber cars at the forks of the road, and, while turning on the revolving
platform, the steam was suffered to accumulate by the negligence of th
fireman, a negro, who, pressing on the safety-valve, prevented the surplus
steatii from escaping, by which means the boiler burst at the bottom, was
forced inward, and Injured the engineer and two negroes. The boiler was
thrown to the distance of twenty-five feet. None of the persons are dan
gerously injured.- The accident occurred ia consequenee of the negro hold
ing down the safety valve while the engineer was assisting to arrange the
lumber cars, and thereby not permitting the necessary escape of steam
above the pressure the engine was allowed to carry."
That was the first locomotive explosion on record, but the "Best Friend"
was patched up at a machine shop, and was In service at long time thereafter.
"Canadian Born" will be the title of
Mrs. Humnhrv Ward's next noveL U
will run serially in the Cornhlll Mag
azine.
E. F. Benson has completed tr-o new
books. One Is a novel, "The Os
bornes," the other Is a volume In the
style of "The Book of Months." It la
entitled "A Reaping. '
Perhaps the most Important an
nouncement of Action to be published
In 1909 Is that of a new novel Dy
inrlprmnnn. His latest work perhaps
his greatest Is a novel entitled "The
Song of Songs" (In German "Das
Hohe Lied").
vom nt rrhWffo'a writers are more
widely known In the professional field
than Mr. Forrest Crissey, for many
years western editorial representative
of the Saturday Evening Post. Mr.
Crlsaey has recently become eaitoriai
director of the Currier Publishing
Company, which issues the Woman's
World.
Wilson Vance, father of Louis Jo
seph Vance, well known for his "The
Black Bag" and "The Brass Bowl" and
other novels. Is himself the author of
"Big John Baldwin," which Henry
Holt & Co. expect to Issue in the fall.
Big John is a Puritan gentleman who
has experiences as a colonist in Amer
ica and also under Cromwell In Eng
land. Basil King, author of "The Inner
Serine," was for ten years rector of
Christ Church in Cambridge, and since
1900 he has been devoting himself to a
professional career of letters. His
first novel was "Grlselda," and It was
followed by "Let Not Man Put As
under." "In the Garden of Charity,"
"The Steps of Honor" and "The
Giant's Strength." Mr. King Is 50
years of age. and his present residence
is in Munich.
Mrs. Frances Boyd Calhoun died on
Tuesday, Jur.e 12, at Le- home in
Covington, Tenn. To the many who
have read her "Miss Minerva and Wlll
lan Green Hill" this news will bring
sincere regret The book bore the Im
press ot a lovable personality. Of
late Mrs. Calhoun has been busy on
the manuscript of a second book of
the same naturo, which unfortunately
Is now lost to the reading public.
Lieutenant Shackleton, the Irishman
who has returned to London from his
south pole expedition, is described as
"a man of extremo modesty, very re
luctant to speak of his personal ex
periences, wishing rather to refer to
the admirable work of his colleagues.
He la broadly built and of medium
height, with strong, determined fea
tures suggesting a will to overcome
extraordinary difficulties and hard
ships. Ills sparkling blue eyes Indi
cate good nature and his whole appear
ance Biirgests a type that men would
follow and suffer privations .'or."
COLD-WEATHER COUNSEL.
(irrmnn linlruclor Mml Mnn
AmunliiK Sllpn In Iter Htitfllah.
The late Prof. Carla Wenckebach,
of Wellelty College, notwithstanding
her long residence In America, never
quite mastered the English language.
She spoke It forcefully and fluently;
but there would be occasional amus
ing Blips, some of which enrich to UiU
day the traditions and anecdote hand
ed down from class to class. A W'el
lealey girl who was In one of Profes
sor Wenckebach's earliest classes re
calls a few of them.
"It I o cold:" declared the pro
fessor one day, when the mercury bad
dropped far below zero. "It Is too
cold, even for me. I have been sit
ting all tho morning with my feet
over the transom."
It was not often cold enough to
drive her to Bit by the register which
waa, of course, what she meant for
she was a flue, vigorous, outdoor wo
man, and passionately fond ot skat
ing. Once wheu she fell on the ice
and received a severe sprain Just a
TRAIN IN AMERICA.
word of complaint for the pain; she
merely rejoiced that the accident did
not happen until she had finished her
sport
"I have always Bkated," she told
one of her pupils. "We skated much
In East Frisla when I was a girl.
There Is nothing new to me In see
ing a crowd of girls on the Ice. What
is new to me Is to see them playing
hokey-pokey."
It was hockey they were playing
always a pretty sight as well as, to
her, a novel one. Another time, when
a student came In from skating com
plaining that she believed her nose
waa frosen, and hastened, shivering,
to thaw herself by the radiator, Frau
leln Wenckebach wisely deterred her.
"No, no," she cried, "you must not
do that! The radiator Is too power
ful; a nose should be melted gradu
ally. Then it will be all right espe
cially If before you go out again you
dip it In camphor Ice-cream." Youth'i
Companion.
CHEMISTRY 4,600 TEARS AGO.
Kiuploj-rd br Chinee In Cure ol
IMaeaae - Tho Phlloaopher Stone.
Yu Tung Kwal, a Chinese delegate
to the chemistry congress, read an
interesting paper before a section of
the assembly yesterday on the chem
ical industry of China. Alchemy, he
said, was known In China at least
2,700 before Christ, and China still oc
cupied an Important position In regard
to the chemical Industries of the
world.
The principal object of the practice
of alchemy 4,000 years ago, he said,
was the cure of disease. Efforts were
also made to evolvo a preparation
somewhat analogous to the philoso
pher's stone', the result attained being
known as gold pills.
Metallurgical work and dyeing were
known in China from time immemo
rial, while the processes of making
gunpowder, paper, glass and porcelain
all originated in. the same country,
while it is admitted that the Chinese
of the Seventh century had a clear
knowledge of oxygen.
"Circumstances in China," said the
lecturer, "have now changed. Since
China has been known for thousands
of years to be an agricultural country
and to possess an enormous wealth of
undeveloped minerals, attention has
naturally beep directed to the study
of these two branches of applied
science.
"A board of agriculture and Indus
tries has been instituted, composed ot
different bureaus, each bureau manag
ing some department, such as land
surveying, mine surveying, Irrigation
work, etc. Having Its headquarters In
Pekln, the affairs of each province are
controlled directly by provincial exec
utive committees, and shortly, it is
believed, government experimental sta
tions will be established. Also in
the formation of chemical societies
provincial societies have been formed,
which will constituto sectional
branches. Agricultural societies too
are being formed In good numbers, and
the last lew years have witnessed the
establishment of 'commercial guilds.'
"A characteristic feature about the
teaching tystem cf China is that cliem
lbt:y, together with mathematics. Is
a compulsoiy subject in the elementary
schools. This Is insisted upon, not
only that the pupil's mind may be
trained, but also that the young stu
dent may acquire some elementary
knowledge cf natural phenomena."
London Standard.
I'leilNC Tell In.
Standing In line before tlv mono)
order window ut the postofTlee yester
day were two men. One of them was
"next," but as his turn came he per
mitted a woman to step In ahead of
Mm to get an ordor. When she was
through the man let another woman
In ahead of blm. This made the other
man jiad. Say," he said to the man
ahea, "please don't le a gentleman at
my expense. I'm lr. a hurry." Wa
he right or not? Denver Post
Some women never entlrdy lose a
superior air toward their syWister
friends until their husbands take them
out and beat them.
Nobody admires a militia general.
GOOD SHORT
STORIES
Senator Hernando De Soto Money
f)f Mississippi, It is said, has the abil
ity to be more acutely annoying than
almost any other sonator when he
jtarts. And he starts at slight provo
ration. One of the stories current in
Washington la of a certain aged cor
respondent, who may - be called Dan
Smith. "Poor old Dan," said one
friend to another. "He's getting hor
ribly absent-minded can't even rec
jgnize faces." "And why?" asked
:he other friend. "Told me to-day he
tad had a pleasant talk with Senator
Honey."
A High street small boy, about 5
fears old, was taken to an entertain
ment by his mother the other even
ing. It was 10:30 o'clock when they
reached home and the little fellow was
rery tired and sleepy. He undressed
luickly and hopped Into bed.
"George," said hl3 mother sternly,
'I'm surprised at you." "Why, mam
ma?" he asked. "You didn't say four
prayers. Get right out of that bed
ind say them." "Aw, mamma," came
!rom the tired youngster, "what's the
ise of wakln the Lord up at this tlnio
if night to hear me pray?"
There Joined the police force of Lon
Ion a young Scotchman but recently
irrlved from his native land. Being
letalled one day to block the traffic
in a certain thoroughfare where mem
Jen of royalty were expected to pass,
tie was accosted by a lady hurrying to
keep an appointment who thrust her
head from the carriage window to
remonstrate with him over the delay.
"I canna' let you pass, ma'am," an
iwered the man of the baton. "But,
ilr, you do not know who I am. I
nm the wife of a Cabinet minister."
"It dlnna make na difference, ma'am,"
tie answered. "I could na let you
pass If, you were the wife of a Pres
byterian minister."
General Staws was a martinet a
(tickler for etiquette, a man with a
prodigious sense of his own dignity,
and when Private S. Weigh, tho
bugler, one day failed to honor him In
passing with the customary Balute he
flew Internally into a towering rage.
"Knutt" he said that afternoon to the
colonel. "Private Weigh failed to sa
lute me this morning. A breach of
rtlquette, sir! A piece of impertln
nee my dignity haw! See that the
man is severely reprimanded." Col
onel Knutt trembled and nodded and
next day spoke to the captain. "Bis-
ket" he said, "Private Weigh filed
to salute the general yestei-day.
Please see that he Is severely repri
manded," "Right, sir," said Cantain
Blsket and the next day he spoke to
the sergeant 'Sergeant," he Bald,
"Weigh didn't salute the general. See
that he is severely reprimanded
"Look here, Binks," said the sergeant
next day to the corporal bugler, "give
Weigh a good talkfng to. will you?
He didn't salute the old generA. the
ether day." Finally the corporal
bugler communicated with Private
Weigh. "Look here, funny face," said
he, "If you don't salute old Pokerback
nxt time you meet him, whaho,
young feller, you'll get a blooming
clout on the ear 'ole!"
ETTGUETTE CF THE TELEPHONE.
some .novice am to it ol ommon
Inetroment.
How best to utilize the service of
the telephone has led to a study of
methods on the part of many large
and some smaller business concerns,
and not only has this resulted In a
vast saving of time, but a certain "eti
quette of the telephone" has beea es
tablished which has a tendency to ob
viate many annoyances and to smooth
over the rough places and soothe the
nerves and the temper of many sen
sitive souls.
The telephone becomes a nulsftnce
when It Is abused and when persons
at either end indulge in protracted or
senseless repetitions of "Hello!" "Who
Is this?" and the like, says an ex
change.
How much better and more business
like in answering the telephone to
abolish the senseless and rude saluta
tion, "Hello!" and to at once give the
name of the firm. For instance, "This
is the First National Bank," "this is
Mr. Brown's residence," and how much
more satisfactory to the calling par
ty, conveying to him, as it does, the
knowledge that he has the right party,
or if the wrong one the lack of ex
cuse for useless talk, which monopo
lizes the circuit to the exclusion of
more important business. By the unl
versal adoption of such a rule less
confusion would arise and "Central's1
and the subscribers' nerves would re
main in a better condition.
"Central" is blamed for much, al
most everything, but a little assist
ance and patient cooperation on the
part of the subscriber would go a
long way toward Improving the serv
ice, something which the telephone
company Is constantly striving to ef
fect.
The person at the telephone should
be prepared, Instantly the operator re
sponds, to give the number wanted
not from memory unless recently re
freshed by reference to the directory
or, If a long distance call, the name of
the party wanted, together wlt'a the
proper address. To be unprepared to
give such Information Is almost In
excusable, and dolay and frequently
Irritation Is certain to follow.
Following are some of the rules of
"Etiquette of the Telephone" which
are laid down for the guidance of tho
thoughtful and politely disposed, which
if more generally observed would not
fall to make the telephone an even
more popular institution than It now
Is:
Avoid telephoning to a private hous-
too early In the morning or too late at
night, or during meal hours, unless
the case la urgent and will not brok
delay.
Employes in a business office should
never use the wire for protracted con
versations with personal friends; this
la a growing abus and likely to inter
fere seriously with th business of the
employer.
Do not forget that although you are
not seen over a telephone wire, you
are likely to be overheard, so don't
shout out your private affairs so that
others may be made familiar with
them.
Cultivate speaking In well-modulat
ed tones, as these carry the best and
produce the most gratifying results at
the distant station.
Don't lose your temper and thus
shame yourself and bring distress to
others.
When answering the telephone, give
your name, or the name of the house
or person whom you represent in
stead of saying "Hello!"
EAT RATTLESNAKES IN BOLIVIA.
German Jurist Telle of III Eiprrl-
encee In Sooth America.
Dr. Hermann Gans, first Judge of
the criminal courts of Frankfort-on-
Matn, Germany, is in Mexico City on a
trip around th world. Hi is at the
Palace Hotel end expressed hl over
whelming dallgbt yesterday at being
back In cIvlTlratlon after a trip along '
the west coast of South America.
"Some years ago I made on exten
sive trip over the United States of
America," he said to a Mexican Herald
reporter. "If my duties did not keep
me la Germany I would certitnly live
In the United Sfetes. Mexico Is the
nearest proportion to clvlllyintlon I
have met Blnce leaving Europe. In
fact, I consider l at least' th door
way to the United States, and much
like It when It tomes to comforts."
"On arriving In Mexico City I
Btepped upon the first asphaltum, or
decently paved streets, since leaving
Buenos Ayres. Yet in comparison
with Mexico City Buenos Ayres ia
filthy, Inconvenient and dirty. Mexi
co City Is not to be compared to any
thing In South America.
"The west coast country Is not fit
to live in. Bolivia, which la Immense
ly wealthy In mines and natural re
sources, was the worst proposition I
struck In my travels. I went over
much of It on muleback.
"There Is no bread In the interior
and no meat ot any kind known to
civilized people. I stopped at one
magnificent castle of a wealthy hacl-
endado In the Interior, where every
effort was made to treat me royally.
The meat upon the table resembled
fish, and I was so surprised at Bee
Ing fish so far in tho 'nterior that I
asked how they could have It there.
It was explained that the fish was in
tended for Sunday, but that my ar
rival had caused them to serve It at
midweek. It was not fish at all, but
an enormous rattlesnake. I learned
that rattlesnakes were choice food
there. Boa constrictor is considered
fairly good, but it does not come up
to rattlesnake. Did I like it? You
mean to ask did I taste It Well, rat
tlesnake may be all right but I do
not know any more about how It goes
as food than I did before.
"Bubonic plague, typhus and yellow
fever rage continuously at Guayaquil.
Every sailor on one German vessel
at that port died of the yellow fever,
and while I was there another vessel
arrived with a new crew for It. Filth
Is no name for conditions on the west
coast of South America. The whole
country needs a general and civic
laundry process."
Judge Gans will go from Mexico
City to San Francisco and thence to
the Pacific islands, Samoa, Japan and
India. He has a year's leave of ab
sence. In his trunk he has brought
a large assortment of boa constrictor,
rattlesnake and other reptile skins as
trophies of his South American trip,
the flesh of most of which he said was
served as special dishes at banquets
and smart dinners. Referring to the
matter of diet In Bolivia, Judge Gans
said that a species ot rat is the near
est he met with in the flesh line to
real meat
WHY SO MANY DESERTED FARMS
Immljrrante Bunch In the Clttea I n
tend of Becoming; Land Workers.
The country is filling up with immi
grants, but It Is a fact that they are
not going on the land. It is also a
fact that some of our best farmers,
b'y the tens of thousands every year,
are leaving us to take up homesteads
in the Canadian Northwest. We have
more mouths to fill, but we are not
producing food for them in sufficient
additional quantity to keep up with
the Increase In their number. That rs
the reason why wheat is high. It is
the main reason why beet is high. It
13 a big factor in the "Increased cost
of living," of which our wives have :
evidence every day.
Good land is going out of cultivation,
and farm labor Is scarce everywhere,
notably in this State. The reason for
it is not entirely economic. The drift
to the cities Is not explained by the
claim that a better living is to be
made there. In the country the Job
is huntlngthe man. In the city the
man Is hunting the Job, and not al
ways finding It. The Immigrant of one
and two generations ago settled on the
land and raised wheat and corn and
beef, insuring a cheap and plentiful
supply. The immigrant of to-day set
tles In the cities and consumes wheat
nnd corn and beef, diminishing the
supply nnd raising the price. He does
so not because It In less profitable to
till the soil, for its produce commands
higher prices than ever before, but be
caiise be Is of a different stock than
liis predecessor. He stays lu tho sea
port cities because others of his race
have made foreign "quarters" there,
because of his own Inertia, because
this country has never made proper
eftorts to bring the landless man and
the manless land together. New, York
Mall.
Itcd Waa Iteinlnlacent.
"Why is that haughty Miss Labur
num so prejudiced against everything
red?"
"Don't you know? Her father made
his fortune selling circus lemonade."
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
There is more or less moonshine la
the astrology business.
People who admire us are always
pheasant company.