TTT)a tiTjnrTOPi mr.. TTtttnfivm TIP
J 1
DEPOETMENT STILL COUNTS IN BUSINESS.
By John A. lion-land.
Business men of tUt older school nrc dis
posed nt (lie present time to resent Homo of
the shortcomings In deportment which they
fSiivl in the younger general ion. They are In
clined to find fault llh tlie young mini ho
cause of his xenrr.it Im-k of reeience for any
thing. Tin y ri!ii!se his dross us loiul. They
tuo in 1 1 i ill .ihiiost the antithesis of the young
man ;is lie whs in their day. lioiiieinlioring
Jill tlint w ii H required of themselves in deport mont, these
older observers of the younger generation limy go u
little too fur in their criticisms of the present type of
3'outig business num. They inny exaggerate u little their
own early virtue.; they inny fall to recognize tliut tlie
times mid tlio inn liners of men nro subject to change.
In these liUHy, crowding times a little of the old fash
loned eotirtesy und consideration which once ruled
among gentle jieople -oiucs to the hurried inan of busi
ness with all of its subtleness and halm. When occa
sionally a hurrying man passing through a doorway
ahead of you puuses a moment to hold It open and you
nod the "thank you'' that springs uuthought to your
lips, can't you fool that mutually tho two of you have
experienced a little something not exactly related to tlie
sordid cures of life?
Theie is plenty of time. Mill. for. these small observ
ances of gentle breeding. Deportment, based on honest
decency, still is at u premiuin in the world. Tlie young
man at large ct.nnot afford to forget the fact.
ARE WIVES BUT SLAVES 1
By Nixola Grecley-Smlth.
A young woman In New York City has
brought suit for divorce on the novel plea that
under the thirteenth amendment to tlie consti
tution of the United States she is living In "in
voluntary servitude." "Isn't a woman tied
down by marriage In uncongenial surround
ings as much a slave as the negroes who were
freed under the thirteenth amendment?" she
asks. "I drudge here in these few rooms with
out good clothing, without pleasure of uuy sort, without
hope of rest or vacation."
In Its legal aspect this singular plea Is so absolutely
untenable us to suggest merely that a foolish and selfish
young woman is serving the sweet uses of advert Isomont
for some one. But lu Its other phases it Is interesting
as being perhaps the most remarkuble case on record of
femlniiiisui gone to the head.
There seems to be a large number of women who have
no well-developed sense of justice or adequate conception
of the meaning of equality. In the marital relation they
must be cither slaves or slave drivers, and, failing to es
tablish an absolute monarchy in their homos, go about
clanking of imaginary chains or railing at Intangible fet
ters. Marriage, it has been said a thousand times, is a
partnership. Hut what woman of this type believes that
her husband should be anything but a silent partner,
with .lust eiicmk'li stock in the firm to vote on questions of
domestic policy the way the controlling Interest she her
self InslriK ts liiin '!
The "drudgery of a few rooms" of which the wife I
am discussing complains Is not comparable to that any
husband employed in a minor capacity endures for eight
hours a day evt ry day f his life. It is not so much the
task lint the dependence li entails that makes the poor
man's ocipathii distasteful. It is the daily lesson of
discipline, or subordination, that Is hardest to learn. And
this no woman working In her own home ever lias to
learn. She makes her own hours and method of work,
and, most important of all, she noils fur herself and
her home. For it Is rarely that the tired breadwinner
disputes her claim to supremacy.
The main need of the .young woman who thinks her
household duties drudgery Is not divorce, but a sense of
duty and responsibility. Quite recently there was a dis
cussion between two learned ladies as to whether or not
wives, by their household services, earn their own living.
The real answer to this question Is that any wife can
earn her own living In this manner, but that some of
them have no wish to do so. The only woman slaves un
der the thirteenth amendment are bonihil to their own
selfish discontent.
"AVOID THE BEGINNING OF QUARRELS.'-
By He'.en O'.dfield.
i There is no bit of wisdom which prospect
ive brides and grooms more prolitably may
taVe to heart than that while quarrels be
tween lovers who are still a-courtlng may
successfully bo patched up as good, even bet
tor than now, provided always tiiat neither of
the lovers meant malice, and also thlit both
are affectionate and forgiving of disposition,
the genuine matrimonial family row rarely
Is followed by kisses until there has I teen heart burning
which soars, and acrid bitterness of spirit which hl:i
endures under the sweet of reconciliation. A tempest
of tears and temper not often is the forerunner of clear
shining after ruin. On the contrary. It by far Is more
likely to Mir tip lusting dissension and anger. There
is no sweetness in lovers' quarrels which compensates
for the sharpness of their sting; one might us well
preach the advisability of breaking a bit of rare chlim
in order to mend it with some wonderful cement which
shall make It stronger than ever. In this world there
are many risks which It Is wiser not to Incur.
Lovers' quarrels usually are either ebullitions of Jeal
ousy, mostly due to selfishness, or else they come frein
what somebody has called "the leakage of bad temper,"
a most undesirable quality for either husband or wife.
If lovers cannot avoid quarrels liefore marriage there
is Binull hope that they will be able to eschew them
afterwards.
A LOVER'S ENVY.
1 envy every flower that blows
Beside the pathway where she goes.
And every bird that sings to her,
And every breeze that brings to be'
The fragrance of the rose.
I envy every poet's rhyme
That moves her heart at cventiuie,
And every tree that wears for her
Its brightest bloom, and bears for her
The fruitage of its prime.
I envy every Southern night
"That paves her path with moonbeams
white, .
And silvers all the leaves for her.
And in their shadow weaves for her
A dream of dear delight.
I envy none whose love requires
Of her a gift, a task that tires;
I only long to live to her,
I only ask to give to her
All that her heart desires.
Henry Van Dyke, in Century.
fliiiiiiin
"An avridge o ten gallon a day for
six months Is an almighty good rec
ord for a scrub cow what hain't never
had no extry food nor 'tention," re
marked Sol Baker. "I've seen a heap o'
line-haired stock that wus fed scien
tific an' curried twice a day that
wouldn't come up to that. What did
Tote have to say?'
"He said he'd seen worse milkers,"
replied Newt Foster, with u grin. "He's
a great old Fete, he is."
"His idee of a right good cow is one
that'll give ten gallons a day, plow
an acre an' a ha'f o' bottom land an'
lay aigs to boot," observed the store
keeper. "I wouldn't 'a' been s'prised
If he'd aimed to buy that there cow.
But I ain't s'prised nohow."
"If he'd Been one o' these yer Is
rulitea an' set down in a land of Ca
naau overflow In with milk an' honey
he'd have kinder made out, meblie, but
he'd have kicked because there wasn't
no nice, hot griddle cakes and genuine
maple sirup to go with them," ob
served Baker.
, "'Sfar'a that's concerned, milk on'
honey ain't what I'd want for a stiddy
llvin'," said Washington Hancock. "If
a feller can't eat thirty quail in thirty
days, I'd like to know how he'd crime
out on straight sweetenlu. But Fete
cert'inly is nurd to please. He reminds
me o' Bueyrus Wool ley a right eousld'
ble. "This here Bueyrus was one o' them
Jos' tol'able fellers. He'd say 'Amen:'
If he got stirred up. but you couldn't
fet him to shout 'Halleluyah !'"
"Who was Bueyrus Woolley?" asked
the storekeeiier. "Another o' them old
timers o' yours, Wash?"
He ain't a rigid smart ohler'n I
am right now," replied Hancock. "I
reckon he's Ihin" out Benton town
ship way jit, If you want to hitch
tip some these bright nioruin's to go
out to see him. He ain't as enter
talnlu' us I am. though. One o' these
fellers 'ut never lias much to say an'
what he docs say is mostly grunts. I
ustev go to school with him an' he'd
grunt when ho wasn't knee high to a
dm k. If anybody gave him a stick
o' candy he'd take It, but 'he only way
you could tell he Hki.l candy was to
wateli him cat I., lle'd l.tok at a dose
o' caster lie in mm h Hie s une dlscom
. passionate way.
"He wus the ouly young one hi
folks had, an' they nachally laid them
selves out to please him, but nothin'
they ever done made him crack a
smile. He'd go around from moroln'
till night lookin' 's if he'd lost a dol
lar an' found a nickel. He'd go to the
circus an' sot through the whole show
an' the concert an' you'd a thought
somebody hud jest clubbed him Into
goin' to the thing.
"If you ast him what he thought o'
the giraffe he-'d say ; 'Oh, I reckon It's
all right. I s'pose there's nothlu spe
cial wrong with it.'
"Ask him if he didn't think monkeys
was the darndest cutest little critters
he'd ever seen he'd say: 'Mebbe they
are. I ain't seen a right smart lot o'
monkeys," though.'
"An' his face 'ud be as sober as if
he wus to a bury In.
'Bueyrus wasn't never feelln right
well. About middlin' was as far as he
ever got. He never got a good bargain.
but he'd own up thut some o' the
things he bought wasn't so cussed bad,
eonslderin' the price he'd paid for 'em.
He had a way o' gettln' things cheap,
because tlie feller that had 'em to sell
never thought so much of 'em after
Bueyrus stood an pershed out his lips
at 'em.
"Then there was men around that
would never try to tell a funny story
if Bueyrus was anywhere near.
Seemed like they wasn't so domed fun
ny after all when he was llst'nln'.
"He was cert'nly a worker, though.
He'd make good trades uu' he'd work
hard an' If he had anybody workln'
for him he'd see to it they didn't do
"KATl.N HIS MKAI.8 I.IKE THEY WAS SO
MUCH HAY."
no loutlu'. If a hired man busted
himself wide open tryln' to get a Job
done Bueyrus would reckon he was do
In' about as well as he could consider-
in' the kind o feller lie was. That's
all the fellor'd get b'sldes his wages,
an' they wasn't none too big.
"Then Bueyrus got married. (Jot one
o' tlie best lookiu' gals there was any
.. .1. ...... .....,
n llt'L t' IIIVMI1IM.
"Smart as a whip, too. She'd husr
tie an' milk the cows an' cook break
fust for Bueyrus an' two hi ml men an'
have tho dishes out o' tlie way un' a
week's washlif out on the line afore the
sun was two hours high.
"That woman of his knowed how to
cook. too. She could tlx tin a chic ken
dinner w ith diimplin s hcttcr'u anybody
I ever seen, an' her bread an' her bis
cull an' her cake an' her pies un' her
Jell an' preserves an' pickles an' but
tor was tlie talk o' tho hull neighbor
hood.
"Fvorybocly down that way bracked
about 'em but Bueyrus; hut pshaw! he
didn't see iiothiu' extra about tho cook
In" or about her.
"One lime while lie was cotirtln' her
somebody bragged about what a purty
gal she was.
''Well, says Bueyrus, Tve seen
homelier.
"If she ust him huvv lie liked the
KANSAS GOVERNOR'S nOMB.
vlttles he'd say, 'I don't know as there's
anythin' special the matter with the
vlttles that you give me.'
"That's the nearest he ever got to
bragglu' on her.
"I reckon all that hurt her feelin's
a right smart at first. She'd alius lieen
uster bavin' her folks make over her,
an' it come hard when she seen him
eatin' his meals like they was so much
hay an' never a word o' praise, how,
ever muth she got done.
"Her mother wus partickler mad an'
wanted her to pack up au' go back
home with her. But she allowed it was
Jest tlie way Bueyrus wus, an' she kep'
ight on eookln' an' cjeanln' an mend-
in' an' maklu'. She got kind o' used
to his unenthusiastic ways in time.
'But finally suthln' comes up an' she
did quit him an' quit him for good an'
all, as far 's I know. She hadn't gone
back to him when I came here to Atch
Ison, anyway."
"What was the trouble?" asked the
storekeeper, "Did Woolley git to lick-
in' her?"
"No," replied Hancock, "I doubt if
Mrs. Woolley 'ud have qlut him for a
little thing like that."
'Was there another woman in the
cuse?" queried Baker.
"Ho wusn't that kind," said Han
cock. "Bueyrus Woolley was too busy,
anyhow, for that."
"What was it, then?" asked two or
three voices at once.
"There was a young feller come to
the house an' Mis'' Woolley wus a good
deal took with his style an' appear
ance," drawled Hancock. . "She ast
Bueyrus what he thought about him.
" 'Ain't he absolutely the peartest,
cutest, han'somcsr, softest, sweetest
leetle follor ever wus or ever will be?'
she says. She was right enthusiastic
about the little feller, Mrs. Woolley
was.
"Bueyrus stood lookin' down at the
pink-faced squirmin', toothless, bald-
headed stranger.
" '1 s'pose he might be worse lookin'
than he Is,' ho says, deliberately as you
(lease. 'Still, 1 reckon I ain't got no
right to kick at a dispensation o' Frov-
Idoiioo.'" Chicago Dally News.
I.eaaon In (.noil Manner.
A well-known lawyer is tolling a
good story about himself and his ef
forts to correct the manners of his of
fice boy. One morning not long ago
the young mini tossing his cap at a
hook, exclaimed :
"Say, Mr. Blank, there's a ball game
down at the park to-day, and I'm go
ing." Now. the attorney Is not hard
hearted man, and was willing tlie boy
should go, hut thought ho would teach
hlin a little lesson In good manners.
'.limnile." lie said, "that Isn't the
way to ask tt favor. Now. you come
over here and sit down, and I'll show
you bow to do It."
The boy took the ollioe chair and his
employer picked up bis cap and sicpcd
outside. Ho then opened the door soft
ly, and. holding tho cap lu his hand,
said quietly to the small Isiy lu tlie big
chair :
"Flense, sir, there Is a ball game
at the park to-day; if you can spare
me I would like to got away for the
afternoon."
In a flash the boy responded;
"Why, certainly, Jiiniiile; and here
is "ill cents to pay your way in."
Short Stories.
Preferred br HI Family the
Kxerallte Manalon at ToaeWa.
Ten years have wrought many
changes in Kansas. Until HHK) the
'crying shame" of Hie State was that
its governors were compelled to live
at hotels or (warding house and scrimp
on their salary of f.'MHK) to keep both
ends on speaking terms.
For twenty years preceding that timo
there was talk of appropriating suffi
cient money to buy or to build a Gov
ernor's mansion, but when the Ix-gts-
ature would assemble and some patri
otic member or Senator would Intro
duce the bill carryng such an appropri
ation oratorical fireworks from the ru
ral lawnmakers, who were trying to
save enough from their per diem of
$3 a day to pay interest on the mort
gage on their farm at home, always
sent the measure to the scrap heap.
About ten years ago the farmers of
Kansas had paid off the mortgages and
were ready to help put tlie State in the
list of commonwealths that believe In
"treating their Oovernors decently."
The legislature not only provided for
the purchase of an $SO,(KX mansion for
the Governor, with a sufficient mainte
nance fund, but tlie people, by Tote,
amended the constitution, raising his
salary to $5,000 a year. This seems
like a dream to former Governors St.
John, GUck, Humphrey, Crawford and
Leedy, who are still living and pros
perous and who will remember always
the scanty food and the inadequate fa
cilities of Topeka hotels and boarding
houses In the early days, save a To
peka correspondent . of the New York
Herald.
And now, with a mansion richly ap
pointed and with every modern con
venience, where a Governor and his
family may enjoy life to Its full ex
tent, Kansas has elected a chief execu
tive who hesitates about using It. Gov
ernor ami Mrs. Stubbs and the chil
dren balk at the idea of having to
live there for two or four years, as
the case may be. They arc occupying
the mmslon now, at the threshold of
the ufw administration and during the
session of the Legislature, but they
ar going back to Lawrence as soon
ss the first robin appears.
There are several reasons why the
Stubbs family prefers the home on
Windmill Hill In Lawrence to the ex
ecutive mansion In Topeka. The prin
cipal one Is that the Lawrence home,
recently built, Is, In many respects, a
finer residence than the Governor's
mansion. It standi, out in the open In
a forest of old oak and elm trees, with
plenty of ground around it, and with
plenty of pure, fresh air, too.
Thut appouls to the Stubbs family
It especially appeals to the boys, who
like to have plenty of room to romp
and hunt rabbits. There are plenty of
rabbits In and around the Stubbs home
stead at Ijiwrence, which, with gun
and dog, the boys have great fun In
chasing.
Mrs. Stubbs has Joined the boys In a
protest against the Tojs'ka Idea that
they must live in the mansion. She Is
willing to stay there during the session
of the Legislature, but she intends to
go buck to Lawrence lu time to put
out some flowers and superintend the
planting of garden Beeds.
From time to time Mrs. Stubbs and
the boys will run down to Lawrence,
which is only twenty-six miles away,
and look after the stock and home pets,
which were left In the care of the serv
ants when the family came to Topeka.
Wit of the Youngsters
J Visitor And are you going to be
minister, like your father, Walter?
Walter (aged 4) No, ma'am. I'm go-
in' In some business where I can af
ford to give my little boy a dime every
day.
j "Jennie," said a mother to her small
daughter, "what should a little girl
do after washing her face and hands?"
It was a hint for Jennie to comb her
hair, but she didn't take it. "Why,
she wipes 'em on a towel, of course,"
was the reply.
Anxious Mother Johnny, is it pos
sible that you, as sick as you claim
to be, have eaten that whole rhubarb
pie? Johnny Yes, mamma. You
know, the doctor said my system need
ed rhubarb, and I thought I'd better
take b good doso of it before I got any
worse. .. . ..
'I' r I ur lo Dtplaln.
1 low fll What did you mean by say
ing that I would never set the world
on Are? Fowell I meant that you
fere too much of a gentleman to do it
SUPERSTITIONS.
TUoy Kind a Place In IU Mind (
Even (ireat Men.,
A man more absolutely governed by
pure reason than Lord Macaulay couid
not well bo found. But In bis dlaty
he refers to an after dinner talk abont
the feeling which Johnson had of
thinking onecelf bound to touch a par
ticular post and to tread In the mid
dle of a paving stone, and he adds, "1
certainly hav this very strongly." In
one of his Illbbert lectures Max Muel
ler said to the students: "Many of
you, I suspect, curry a ha'penny w 'h
a hole In it for luck. I urn not asliam
ed to own that I have done so mys;lf
for many year."
(,'htarloH Dickens refused to lie doii
unlei-s his bed wore placed due north
and south. He gave notice of the rule
before arriving at a friend's house or a
hotel, but u compass was always batily
in bis baggage to make sure. Miss
Justin McCarthy has told how I'arnoi
gravely checked her stirring coffee 'iiic
wrong way" and Insisted that she
should take another cup. A gentleman
of Fort rush sent Lord Roberts uu old
horseshoe when things looked ill lu
South Africa. Gratefully . acknowledg
ing It, the general added that he o.;hl
keep this horseshoe In company "with
one I picked up the day I entered Hie
OrauKe Free State and another I I. mini
at Faardobnrg the day before Gcucrai
Cronjo surrendered." Fall Mall Oa
wtte. Ilulli lluar.
"The girl who knows she is pretty
make a fool of herself."
"And the girl who doesn't know she
is pretty makes a fool of some uiau,
Houston Fost
Opinions of Great Papers on Important Subjects.
VllS 111
;xml(yffaWl
THE READY-MADE FAMILY NOT A SUCCESS.
N spite of its obvious and manifold advan
tages, the ready-made family Idea received
another set back In New York the other
day. Mrs. Michael McCuIh, who was of
fered an extraordinary bargain In that
line, refused to mvept It.
When Mr. Michael MeCube first met his
wife her name was Harrington, she was IS yeara old and
she was a glasshlowor by profession, lie wooed and won
her, and nt last she consented to go over to the Jersey
shore and have the knot tied by an expert Jersey magis
tral.'. Fievhnm to this auspicious occasion lie had taken
her to his well furnished house and explained how much
nicer It would bo to reign there as mistress than to
blow any amount of gliiNs. One tiling ho did not ex
plain to her; he was keeping It as a delightful surprise.
This was that he bad a nhc, ready-made family of nine
already on hand, and she could dismiss all four that the
magazines, might Include them In the list of people who
were gradually ruining the country by living In select
apartment houses. He was very careful to keep this
secret because be did wit want to spoil the pleasure of
the surprise.
What was the nsult r this affectionate forethought
and consideration? Did the new Mrs. Michael XteCabo
appreciate what hor husband had done? Did she ex
claim, as exported. "Oh. jou orfect dear! I always
did adore ready-made families." Did she? She did not
She received tho surprise with suppressed Indignation,
to the astonishment of her husband, who hnd naturally
counted on quite a different scone. What Is more, after
n month's experience of a position such as comes to few
18-year-old girls, she left her happy, well-populated home
and returned to her mother. When Michael MeCabe fol
lowed In hot haste to re-establish diplomatic relations
she scaled the back feme, pawned her wedding ring for
f2 and went to visit her aunt lu Brooklyn. Chicago
Inter Ocean. , .
THE RICH AND THE POOR-RICH.
T a rwent automobile show lu New York
A. I $7,000,000 worth of cars are said to have
I been sold. Now, It ought to make no great
I ,....tfn l,,v Iia rlli u-iatf tlmlr m,-nfv
uuitt. " " " ..... - - j
except to them. But It does matter great
ly if the well-to-do follow the fashion of
the rich, and the poor in turn follow, as
nearly us they can, the fashion of the well-to-do. For
then great numbers of persons buy or hire houses that
they cannot afford, maintain ervants that they ought
Bot to tax themselves with, out-eat and out-drlnk and
out-wear their Incomes, and put their lives on a false
economic basis. If tho economic basis of one's life be
false, other things also quickly become false; and the
whole atmosphere in which these poor-rich people lira
is unheallhful.
This fashionable lncrcaso of living expenses adds to
a necessary Increase of expenses 'even of men who object
to It, for the whole community tends to adjust itself to
the highest pitch possible. Itents go up; servants' wages
Increase; professional fees are higher; larger tips must
be given; the good restaurants raise their prices. The
man who wishes to lead a simple and Inexpensive life
fuxls It harder. The whole community is corrupted
from tho financial top. City life becomes a sort of In
tricate but most comprehensive and offensive robbery;
and to avoid all these useless taxes a modest man who
would hold fast to his economic character must put him
self to much trouble and run tho risk of being regarded
as eccentric. World's Work.
mm
THE DOLLAR IN BASEBALL.
ENTIMENT Is the natural accompaniment
of healthful sport. Baseball Is full of it
But when the dollar enters In and becomes
all-powerful sentiment files out With the,
sentiment gone baseball would become as
commonplace as a circus which played 21X1
days In succession without variation of
program. When a ball player becomes distinguished as
the recipient of a $10,000 salary, with a winter vaude
ville tour at the same rate, he ceases to attract atten
tion as a ball player. The nearer the game gets to per
fect commercialism the greater the danger that It will
founder. The public likes good, wholesome, energetic,
clean ball games. If the managers begin to spread awn
ings of purple silk over the bleachers and the first base
men to advertise lost diamonds, the danger signal should
Iks hoisted on the flagstaff. St Louis Republic.
INAUGURATION TOO EARLT.
HAT inconsiderate old Mother Nature pre-
a- "'k I clpltated a blizzard on the Washington to
I I augural festivities furnishes plenty of rea-
Bull It'L iiin,i,iiig Laiv u u k- v i u i. 1.1 u t i".a
Into the latter part of April or the first of
ftiay. There is no necessity to keep the
official time at March 4, when the weattr
is doubtful at best. There Is no objection to fixing the
function six or eight weeks later. Congress should take
action soon, before the unpleasant events are forgotten.
Thousands of loyal citizens who Journeyed to the capi
tal at great expense and Inconvenience were bitterly dis
appointed by the storm. It is a public necessity that the
dato of inauguration should be changed, so as to mini
mize the danger of bad weather. This matter has been
brought to the attention of our national solous on mere
occasions than one. Fresldcnt Taft might do worse
than exert his personal lufluence to see that they take
the necessary action this time. Chicago Journal.
The ponderous person with the Im
pressive manner unfolded a map and
put a stubby forefilnger down on Its
center.
"There," he said, "is the finest spot
for any puriwse you cau mention that
ever lay outdoors. - For the fanner,
the stock raiser, the health seeker, the
business man or the professional man
It offers more inducements than any
other section oi tho United States, and
that means in the world. I'm offering
you an opportunity thut doeau't come
to the average man in a lifetime, and
If you let It go by you'll regret It only
once and that will be always. Let
me tell you that Inside of two of three
months you won't be able to get that
land at ten times the price."
"There's quite a lot of It" remark
ed the other man. "It seems to uio
that it's going to take quite a while to
sell 300,000 acres. I'll want a lHtle
time to think it over."
"That's your privilege, of course,"
said the ponderous person, with a pity
ing smile. "But if I were you I would
not take any chances. If I were the
ouly one selling the tracts It might
be different, but there Is au agent for
every Stato lu. the Union. Each agent
has just so muny acres alloted to him
and I haven't more than 200 more lots
left in this State. Ten acres will cost
jou $-00. For $'J00 you get ten acres
of the most fertile and productive land
on the footstool. Why is It fertile?
Because It can't help It. The streams
coming dowu from the mountains lu
every direction contain just the ele
ments the chemical elements that
that the soil reaulres. They have been
flowing through this truct for ages.
Ten acres will guarantee a comfortable
itvlng for the rest of your life. Twenty
acres would mean wealth and without
any effort on your part"
"IIow do you figure that?"
"You don't need to go near it," con
tinued the ponderous person. "You
can stay right here If you want to and
let us set the land out Into orchard.
We'll furnish the trees and do the
planting for the biire cost of the labor
ad nursery stock and cultivate the
land and harvest your crop for one
half. Would you want anything bet
ter than that? Hero's the proposi
tion : Fertile laud, abundance of wa
ter of the purest kind, a climate that
Is unsurpassed In a region whore crop
failures are unknown,"
"I thought that you said the land
was unsettled," said the other man.
"How can you tell whcific the crops
would fall or not until they're put
in?"
"When I say 'unsettled,' I mean
comparatively unsettled, of course,"
suld the ponderous person. "There lire
settlers and they are realizing for
tune from the crops. They have
never known u failure. You can raise
alfalfa, grain, fruits of all kind, ber
ries, corn, anything. The climate Is
mild, balmy, liivigornl ing. free from
miiluiia, warm lu winter and cool In
summer. The iraiisportut Ion lu live
yours from now will Im tho best and
cheiiH-st In the country. 1 tell you.
sir, If you could Just see that country
once you'd never want to leave it.
Finest clans of people, intelligent, en
terprising and refined, every advant
age that you can Imagine. When the
division is made you may draw a tract
that you can turn light around und
sell for ten times what you're paying
for It, or even more, if you want to get
quick returns on your money."
"Suppose I draw a ten acres that
isn't good?"
"You can't. You might get a piece
that Isn't as good as some others, but
In that ease you inako up on the city
lot that we give free with every sale
of the land. We hit on that plan to
equalize, the chances. If you draw one
of tho price tracts you don't get quite
such a good town lot If you get a
truct of land that Isn't ss well situ
ated as some then you're likely to get
a corner lot In the business district
of the city In five years we expect
to have a population of 10,000 In
Boomersburg, at the most conservative
estimate. Do you see any chance to
lose on a proposition like that? You're
a man of intelligence. How can you
lose?"
"I csn't" said the other man. "I'd
have to buy some of the land in order
to do tli at and I'm not going to buy
any." Chicago Dally News.
FOR FUN, STUDY A CLOCK.
W0MA.N'S L0NO VIGIL AT LIGHT.
Wkat Mar Be Seen Upon a Flner
leaa Hands and Kreleaa Face.
Did you every take tluio to consider
the clock? You should have dono so,
If you have cot, according to the De
troit News-Tribune, seeing the clock
gives you the timo whenever you as2
It
(No, this Is no joke. It is a plain
statement of fact)
Tlie clock Is so sensitive that it con
stantly keeps Its hands before its face.
This is duo to the fact that, through
no fault of Its own, It has been doing
time for many years in tho most pub
lic maimer. H may be that, ajs the.
face of the clock lias no eyes, nor
mouth, nor nose, nor chin, nor cheeks,
nor any of the usual facial appurte
nances, It keeps its hands over it
to hide theso defects. But this can
scarcely be, we fancy, because its
hands have no fingers or thumbs, nor
has It any arms, and any attempt to
conceal one defect would ouly expose
another.
Most clocks have ouly two hands,
hut muny have three, and It Is some
what remarkable, anatomically as well
as numerically, that the third hand
la the second hand. It may also be
remarked that the minute hand is not
tlie minute hand, for it Is longer than
the hour hand.
The ci.s-k has neither feet nor legs,
but It runs Just the same. It may
be fast or slow, but It does not walk.
It always runs, and It never runs up.
It. runs down, unless It Is kept running
'round. Frovldeiieo Wisely did not give
feet to the clock.
The clock has a key, but no lock,
and for that reason oven the most
Ignorant person never tries to open a
clock with ,the key.
Some clocks strike and some do not,
but no clock ever strikes witli its
hands. Just why a clock should be so
peculiar Is no ufTalr of ours.
(Of course this Is no Joke. Tho
striking of u clock may bo an affair
of hours, but It Is not spelled tho same
way. We are not trying to be funny.
This Is a dignified article. Floase do
not Interrupt It ugaln.)
There is no docks In heaven, be
cause there Is no time there. Neither
Is there any night, ami au eight-day
clock wouldn't know when to stop,
A prominent Freneli niauiiraetiirer n
glace fruiln ailiul;s that the cherries ot
California are at least as good lu qual
ity us tiio Fivi.cli varieties
On Who Ha Tended a Paelfle Coaat
Beacon for Twent y-arven Yeara.
Miss Laura A. Heoox, who for twenty-seven
years lias tended the light
of the Santa Cruz lighthouse, has but
recently returned to her post from tho
last of the six vacations she has taken
during that period. Since 1881 this
woman Las had absolute charge of the
light -ld in all that time It has nev
er gone out during the night
Miss Hecox followed her father In
charge of the light. He was a retired
clergyman, who took the work of car
ing for the light when his health broke
down under the stress of his pastoral
duties. With him went his wife and
girl, who cared for him as well aa
the light.
During the thirteen years her father
was in charge Miss Hecox was practi
cally the real mistress of the light
house. When his death came she ap
plied for and obtained the work. Since
that time she has been steadily at It,
cleaning, tending and watching the
light that It may be never dimmed.
Then her mother died In the old light
house and the woman was left alone
with ber work. She loves It and is
never satisfied if she is away from it
for long. Her only 'recreation is an
occasional visit to her brother, who
lives at Oceanside, and gathering in sea
specimens, a collection of which she
recently gave to the Santa Crua library.
Fortunately for Miss Hecox, the
Santa Cruz lighthouse Is not built on
a rock-bound coast,' but Is bowered
among trees. The light Is modern, of
twelve candle-power multiplied by re
flectors t.p something like CC5 candle
power. During the twenty-seven years
it has been tended by Miss Hecox no
ship has been wrecked on the Santa
Crus coast. Ios Angeles Times.
KnarlUh In the Pelopoanaana.
In Nauplla, the site of the national
prison or, as Fhlllp S. Marden puts It
lu his recent hook, "Oreoce und the
Aegean Islands," the "Slng-Slng of
Hellas" Greeks who speak Ehgllh
are plentiful, and even those who make
no other pretensions to knowledge of
the tongue aro proud of being able to
say "all right" in response to labored
efforts at pldglu-Ureek.
One of the gentry lu native garb of
quaint capote and ponnoned shoes ap
proached Mr. Marden In the street, and
stated in excellent English, that sorted
strangely with his Hellenic clothes,
that he was once employed in au elec
tric light plunt In Cincinnati.
Did he like it? Oh, yes! Iu fact,
he wus quite ready to go buck there,
whore pay was lstter than In NauplU.
And with un expressive shrug and com
prehensive gesture thut took in the.
whole broad swoop of the ancient klug
dom of the Atrldue, he added:
1 ' "Argos Is broke; no good!"
! One other such deserves mention,
perhaps; one who broke In on a rever
'ciilal reverie one day, as Mr. Marden
i was contemplating a Orcck daiii'e lu a
' ( lassie mighlsniuMHl. with some F.ng
; Ush that suvprod of the Bowery brand.
informing him that he had lieon in
I Ainerhu. and had traveled all over
that land of plenty lu the peregrina
tions of Barnaul's circus.
"I was wit' u' in ti ii Barnuni w'en ho
died," lie added, as a most convincing
passport ot Mr. Mardeu's friendship.'
I '.very man thinks that things at
his house get out of order quicker
t'.iau anywhere else on eurth.
About the first thing an engagtxj
i young woman thinks of is luuch cloths.