Dakota County Herald
DAKOTA CRT,
JOHN H. REAM, . . riblte
Operation on t 'astro penns to have
n successful, lie was amputated
om Vcnrr.url.i.
Teddy I going to Include among
bis African trophic a knlinu; Is It
a qnidrnped or a nut?
Aeroplane era almost aa cheap a
automobiles f.'VOO'O and turn turtle
at 2 . m. with equal facility.
. Mr. Thnw has once more received a
Judicial bint that It Is not possible to
be ctey and nane at the same time.
The American fleet passed nlong the
shore of Arabia without making a
sound. 1 1 nl Its gum arable shoes on,
possiWy.
V ran he thankful to automobiles
for one thine; I hey have mnle ear
mufft unsafe and put them out of
fashU-n.
Taed bachelors would pmbably
economize by sending no more candy
and flowers, no Homebody had better
have n care.
If cranks are going to pull beards
qf European rulers, whiskers get an
other Mow not exactly the kind that
blows through.
Mr. ICdlson again annoonces a cheap
nd compact storage battery. What Is
Jeede4 next Is a simple electric rat
and roach trap.
As tf the perils of pedestxianlsm
vera set sufficient already, an east
fffi ratios bj& Invented an automo
bile fsr the bl-l
A Xsw York nan baa married a
rind reader. It will not be necessary
in blip to explain bow he spent that
10 casts en bis way home.
A 9t Louis man was compelled to
woo bwsnty-five years before he could
get tlje lady to soy yes. It la a bard
Otf b have to struggle as long as
tat and get an old maid after all.
of the preachers says be
osn1 believe there ever was Inch n
fletto as Salome. We are sure there
eter was such a Balome as bas been
seen on the stage In various places.
A gas well with a flow of 6,000,000
coble feet per dleni has been developed
t Medicine Hat. Somebody might
ink a hit by setting fire to Ir find
thus warming things up In that vlclu-
Frank A. Vanderllp's theory Is that
access depends on ''work and stom
ach." Mr. Vanderllp can do two days'
fork in one, and he has a stomuch
tfrancan stand any dlsb except shrimp
A Pennsylvania banker who robbed
depositors of more than $2,000,000 bas
been sentenced to fifteen years In the
penitentiary. Our dispatch does not
say whether he Is to be assigned to the
bookkeeping department or Is to look
after the feeding of the warden's wife's
canary.
"Whatever opinionated critics may
tare to say as to the decadence of the
Qrama and the degeneracy of the pop
ular taste, the theater-goer in this
country appreciates and will patronize
plays Which have some message for the
reason and the Intellect as well as for
the senses. He will support with his
Sttendance sane andwbolesome product
ions destitute of exotic and erotic fea
tures. The appeal of a play like "The
Old nomestead" Is elemental; It
touches lost chords and forgotten
springs of memory, not merely in the
unsophisticated country dweller, but la
tha "worldly wine man."
A parish priest In Ireland recently
Informed the department of agriculture
4 Washington that twelve farmers in
bis neighborhood having contributed a
dollar apiece, he bought twelve good
typdks on agriculture and horticulture,
and thus established a small loan 11
Birary which has done excellent service.
Secretary Wilson now plans to develop
ttmQar idea. He Invites both coun
try clergymen and physicians to take
$e lnltlatve and volunteers to advise
what books shall be purchased, and to
fttpply such libraries with department
nuhllcatlons. Under these conditions a
imall amount of money will go a long
Way ' and the farmers who invest it
tnay feel aura that they, too, are pro
gressing. Tha naa of common water ways has
always proven a proline cause of In
ternational wrangling. The Joint navl
cation of such waters, the loint mn.
Txol of water nower. the mmiiiinn
fishing rights and the determination of
tne use of water in navigable streams
baring their rise in one Jurisdiction
and their outflow in another bave led
to interminable dispute. Later inven
tions, especially the use of water power
or tha development of electrical en
rgy, bave only served to increase the
possibilities of dissension. There has
been a continuous unsettled
ways . debate between the United
State and Great Britain from tha
time of the colonies. It is therefor of
most happy augury for the future that
a treaty bas been successfully nego
tiated by Secretary Root and Ambas
sador Bryee providing for amicable
adjustment by a joint high commission
f all future water way and boundary
difficulties, i
Bills to tax bachelors bave for some
time been a regular feature of the leg
islative year. Originally such bills
Mere treated as bits of airy comedy
designed to relieve the high serlous
jiua of the session. They were p'lt
ou the IU of "crauk" bills and addod
temporarily to th gayety of the au
tlou. Today bachelor tax propositi rvr
are taken a little more aftrlously,
though no cue experts tbem to be en
Acted Into law aa yet What the
tli1 nlinH niflv lie t niinther utnrr
It way le recalled that Kaiser Wil
liam himself not many months a;o. la
lightly discussing me neavy iiencits iq
the lmierlnl fiiunii-cH nud the necessity
of additional taxes. Intlinnted tint
bachelors might be subjected to fine
or duty not oniy as n means of In
creasing the revenues but ns a pra
veiillve of undue cultlviitlon of single
blessedness or single misery. Tru
the statettmon -of the fiilherlntid. when
the time for action came, displayed
weakness and left the bachelor severe
ly n lone. Hut the august royal sane-
thin of the Idea hits tended to mnke It
respectable If not Immediately prae'l
fill, find doubtless henceforth the er)
of bachelor tax bills will be richer find
finer. Already the dispatches tell of
A great ninny people believe there Is
unlimited nonsense In the chatter
about the lack of opportunity in Amsjl
ca for the poor hoy. The thing for the
poor boy to do, and the Ihlng for every
tiodv to do Is to follow the path of
duty with as much Industry and Intelli
gence, ns much cheerfulness and confi
dence as enn be commanded. It Is a
truism that anybody In America who
Is willing to work can make a living.
It Is also a truism that character Is
better thnn riches. Not everybody can
he a mllllonnlre; not everybody can he
rich, for not everybody has the prac
tical foresight or the willingness to
make sacrifices of present enjoyment
for future financial benefit, usually es
sential to the acquisition of larg
means. But riches are more of a bur
den than a blessing to many who pos
sess them. The man who wins suffi
cient of the world's wealth to pay his
way and retains the respect of bis fel
low men makes a success of life. The
opportunity to do this Is open to all
who bare the will to do It and who
do not lose their health. Wby should
the whine continue that there Is no
chance for the young man?
EVEN BETTER.
Lot Should lie Reciprocal and.
Abound In Mataal Service.
Tor thirty days she had taken cars
of her hushund-na big, delightful boy
a genius, popular, gay, fascinating
abroad nervous, exacting, fascinatln
at home, She looked after bis bed an
board, nursed his Indigestions, cheered
his periodical depressions, welcomed
bis friends, hated his critics and moth
ered bim as a childless wife can
mother her husband.
When half a lifetime had passed In
these varied occupations, Bhe developed
a severe and painful disease of the
heart. Her husband was amazed, per
turbed, distracted.
"Doctor," he cried to the old family
physician and friend, "I don't under
stand what Mary has done to bring on
this torrlble trouble 1"
"Don't youV" replied the doctor. "I
do."
Everybody else knew. The husband
was honestly ignorant, and was as in
nocent of havlag been a party to her
sacrifice as an Ignorant, mature man
ever can be.
Tho story Is as common as life. Now
it Is the husband and now the wife who
is shield, guide, comfort, protection for
the other. Sometimes the task com
pletes Itself without a break. Again
death steps in and thrusts aside the
hands which bnve always been able to
do their calming and saving work be
fore. Or the flesh succumbs while the
spirit is still strong.
Whatever happens, there is only one
thing more beuutlful In the world than
this self-forgetting love which spends
lavishly for love's sake; and that Is
the reciprocal love which receives and
gives, spends and saves, exacts and
abounds at the same time, and which
never bas to utter in a dark hour the
vain regret, "I don't understand I I
didn't understand I" Youth's Compan
ion. ArlatocrnUo Nnna.
The Duke of Norfolk has two slaters
who are nuns. Lady Mluna Howard
belong to the Carmelite order and
Lady Btheldreda la a Sister of Char
ity. Lady Edith Fielding, sis tor of Lord
Denbigh, is another Sister of Charity,
and spends hor days at a convent In
Klou-Klang, which Is in China, as Its
name indicates.
Lady Christina ItandlnL daughter of
Lord Newburgh, Is a nun In a French
convent, and Lady Leopoldlna Keppol
is a nnn of the Sacred Heart, in spit
of the fact that she Is sister of a Prot
ectant peer, Lord Albennarle.
Miss Mary and Miss F-dlth Clifford,
sisters of Lord Clifford, of Chndlelgh,
are both nuns, as are Miss Cloely Arun
dell, slstor to Lord Amndell, and Miss
Leonine Dormer, sister to Lord Dor
mer. Lord French, who lives In Johannes
burg, baa two sisters who are nuns;
three Misses Petre, sisters of Lord
Petre, are nunsj Lord Herrles has no
fewer than four sisters who live In con
vents and, as for Lord Trlmlestown,
an Irish peer and 18th baron, history
seems uncertain as to whether four or
live of his sisters are nuns, as several
of these ladles have not been raised to
the rank of baron's daughters.
Soap nnd Towels.
The American Indian Is rapidly be
coming tamed. A few years ago soap
and towels were practically unknown
to hlra. But when Frauds K. Leupp
took charge of the Indian bureau he
began introducing soap, a few hundred
pounds the first year, lucres sing as
time went by until the Indians of the
country now uso more than half a mill
ion pounds a year. Then came towels,
a few at a time, until now, when
towels are ordered for the use of the
Indians by the mile where they were
formerly bought by the yard.
Now Commissioner I-eupp is trying
to make short hair fashionable among
the red men. He is establishing barber
shops on the reservations, and at the
agencies. One the Indian, consents to
sacrUU-B LU long locks well, he will
no longer be an Indian.
If you want to see something real
ny, watch a widow who has com
menced to tuke iiiiHi-m again, talk to
a widower.
So many poor opinions are ex
pressed In a loud and vuufideut volos.
Opinions of Great Papers on Important Subjects.
mOHT-KIDlNO MUST BZ SUPPRESSED.
ENNKKRICE lalla are nt
"V I )ous with men arrested on charges of white
I I cspplng and kukluxlng.
uritiui n lilt; uiuiui L tj iiiiii I iucio n
weeks ago of a lawyer who had bought a
lake and proposed to enforce fishing priv
ileges which were his by reason of the pur
chase, there have been numerous minor outruges. One
ef these was the whipping of a farmer who sold his crop
of peanuts at what other peanut growers considered too
knv a price.
It is well that the civil authorities In Tennessee are
snaking what looks like a strenuous effort In good faith
to visit puslshment upon bullying violator of tho law.
If the attempt of the civil authorities fulla, the HUite
militia should be freely used to prevent riotous outrages
hereafter.
Should the nnn of the State be not strong enough,
the situation would call for help from the federal gov
ernment. Nlght-rldlng, whlteeapplng, kukluxlng all ter
rorism aid attempts at terrorism must be put down If
it takes the whole power of the standing army to do it.
The United States must be a country of law and order.
Milwaukee Evening Wisconsin.
MARRYING ON $6 A
OCORDIXG to Justice
I marry men earning only SO a week should
I do so with a clear understanding that they
must cunuuuo to worn lor u living, anu no
announces that, whatever other Judges may
do, he will never compel a husband with
such an Income to contribute any part of
it for the separate support of a wife who chooses to
leave him because of discontent with the home his earn
ings make possible. This rather startling announcement
ia sura to revive the old controversy as to the amount of
money that makes possible a happy, or even an endur
able, wedded life, and doubtless many will criticise Jus
tice Foster for laying down a principle that takes so
little account ef sentiment and the accepted platitudes
about love as the sulHclcnt foundation of matrimonial
bliss. And yet bis decision has its merits, and muny of
them.
All efforts to fix a definite sura, whether of capital or
of income, which will Justify a young man and woman In
getting married are waste of time. The outcome of tho
venture depends almost entirely upon their own peculiar
ities of character and capacity, and, while some would
get along if they began on nothing at all, no omount
would be large enough for others. The one case, like the
other, however, I highly exceptional, and for the com
mon run of humanity there is an Income point below
which matrimony is folly little, If any, less than crim
inal. And $0 a week, in this city at least, Is not for
two people a living wage In any true sense of the term.
Probably they could escape starvation on It, but they
would constantly be on the very verge of that uncom
"Is It cold enough for you?" asked
the shed shoesblner, as the policeman
entered, rubbing his stockinet-covered
ears.
"Cold enough 1" echoed the policeman,
I sh'd say not What do you take m
foi" mutton gravy T You must think
I'm easy chilled. Cold enough- Why,
It ain't more'n eight or tea below an'
I've been exerclsln hard, blowln' my
whistle, all mornln'l Cold enough?
Don't yon see the sweat runnln' oft me?
What's the matter with you? You don't
feel cool, do vou?"
"Seems to n?J I can stand It with the
loor shut," said the shed shoesblner,
closing the door and pressing down the
latch. "Stand to one side an' I'll put
some more coal In."
"Don't on my account," said the po
liceman. 'I didn't come in here on ac
count of the stove. I came because I'm
fond of the society. You ask such
smart questions."
"You look frostbit, but I didn't
know," said the shed shoesblner.
"How should you?" said the police
man. "You'd naturally think a maa
would want Ice Inside his hat on a
balmy day like this Is. It's the kind
of day a feller wants to cuddle up
alongside of an electric fan, ain't It?
You don't mind if I take off my coat
an rest, do you?"
"do aheud," said tho shed shoeshluer,
hospitably. "Make yourself at home."
"If we could only have a thunder
storm an' a good heavy shower it might
get a little cooler," said the policeman.
"A breath of air would help some. The
wind ain't blowln mor'n forty mile an
hour at the outside. It's a pity we
can't have one o those good, old fash
ioned winters they tell about when it
Would freeze water If you let It stand
out all night. I'm Just rubbln' my nose
to get the bloom o' youth on It not be
cause it's froze stiff. Hot weather al
ways makea my nose pale. Is it cold
enough for me? Was you ever at Medi
cine Hat?"
"Where's that?" asked the shoe
sblner. "It's where the cold weather starts
from, 'cordlu' to tho papers," replied
the policeman. "It gets so cold there
It ffeeaea the mercury solid. That's
Where I'd like to be. I'd like to get a
Job on tho Medicine Hat force an' stand
on a crossln all duy with my vest un
buttoned makln' motions at the traffic.
If I cau't get relief no other way I'm
golu' out for a boat ride on the lake
to-night in a pair o duck punts. I'd
probably get good an' wet if the water's
tough, as it's apt to be, an' that would
be something. If it wasn't I could hang
my feet over in the slush ice an get
the burning out o' them. Say, it's a
mighty good thing for you that I hadu't
the use of my arms when I come In
here; I'd certaluly have soaked you
one. Is It "ld enough! Say, you didn't
notice the icicles on my mustache, did
you?"
"Of course I si-en you was cold,"
said the shed khocNhlucr. "I was jest
JoKbln' when I asked you If it was cold
enough for you."
"It's a great Josh." bhUI the pollce
BtHii. ' I wish you'd get It putcnted un'
I had the Job of arrestlu' every guy
.Who infringed on It I'd start la by
present are poim-
nag
WEEK.
Foster, women who
HE bell
clubbln 'em to death, I tell you those.
way, rnere s some jokes that s Jokes, an'
there's some that ain't. .That one ain't.
Not to me. If I was runnln' a furnace
In an apartment butldin' a feller might
make that crack an' get away with It,
but I ain't doln' the right kind of stunt
to enjoy It It's too frequent, any
way." "I won't do it again," promised the
shed shoeshlner.
"See that you don't," said the police
man. "When a guy asks me If It's cold
enough for me he always makes me
hot." Chicago Daily News.
FLEA FOR THE COMPARATIVE.
Overdoing tho Superlative In On
National Habit of Ksaarseratloa.
Prof. Thomas It. Lounsbury, of
Yale, who has as one of his chief de
lights In life the shocking of the gram
marians, writes In a recent issue of
Harper's Magazine in defense of the
um of the superlative degree In com
paring two objects. In this attitude
Prof. Lounsbury will have the hearty
concurrence of at least two classes
school girls of tho caramel ages and
political stump speakers whose ambi
tion is to Are the heart of the people.
Neither of these have any comprehen
sion of any other degree of speech but
the superlative degree. The positive is
too tame, the comparative is an un
known country; the superlative, and
the superlative only, fits their excited
and exalted moods. Prof. Lounsbury
alleges that the hublt of using the
superlative when two objects are com
pared is one which the best writers
are unanimous In following.
He allows that such writers employ
both degrees in such cases; but he as
serts that where with them the com
parative is found once, the superla
tive Is found at least twice. Of course
the fact Is one of mathematics, and
probably no grammarian or critic of
the grammarians has ever wasted his
time in taking a census of the posi
tive and superlative aa used by the
best writers. Whether Prof. Louns
bury la or 1 not accurate in his pres
entation of this matter as respects the
best writers, we are quite certain that
people who rauk below them, or have
no rank at all as writers, use the
superlative with altogether too much
freedom and abandon. Everything,
compared or not, la superlative. The
best the greatest, the sublimest, the
dearest, the darllngest, the worst, are
sure to be the adjectives every time.
Whatever the Issue on the orator's
mind, It Is the most important before
the country, without reference to the
fact that another Issue was the most
Important last night and still another
will bo the most important to-morrow
night And at the other extreme your
effusively enthusiastic iiiIhs has al
ways Just had the "dandiest" time,
or has reently escaped from the hor
rldest people; while all the way be
tween all Borts and conditions of men
and women scatter superlatives about
things of Importance and things of no
Importance with lavish ami iinill rlin
lnatlng lips. Whatever Prof. Louns
bury may have learned from the best
writers, the comparative degree la a
device of the language that ought to
have UMre consideration In a luiul
which has yielded Itself to the habit
of exaggeration.
i:ery man would rather talk about
his sins or omlssi.m than about LU
Ins of coiumlssluu.
fortable condition; they would full steadily in the social
and economic scale, and any trivial accident that dimin
ished or cut off the wage would inevltablv drive them
Into pauperism or crime.
If ruin came from no other source, the first child prob
ably, and the second certainly, would bring it The no
tion that two people, If only they be married, can live
us chenpy as either alone is an absurd delusion. Two
can live as cheaply as many a one does, but only when
the one has been spending a large part of his or her in
come for other things than necessities, and is willing,
under the new arrangement, to go without them. Twenty
dollars Is much nearer thaa six to the permissible mini
mum, and, at that, people who have never had to main
tain a family on as little as the larger sum wonder how
It can possibly be done. It simply can't be accomplished
on $0, If Uf Is to be worthy of the name, and its ordi
nary decencies are requisite for happiness, as they ought
to be. New York Times.
ECONOMIC WASTE IN RELIGION.
OT alone Is religion In the commission of
the economic crime of waste, but it every
where furnishes one of the most conspicu
ous examples of the tendency. It would be
bootless to philosophize over the causes
which have produced the Infinite subdivi
sions among theologians or over the present-
day movement which is leading men to consider more
than in the past their points of agreement rather than
their antagonism ef belief and practice, yet the building
or altar against altar goes on apace, and the endeavor
which might be concentrated toward the betterment of
mankind is frittered away and lost. Net one intelligent
man doubts the stupendous force creative, corrective
and remedial which could be exerted by the church
people of the land if they could once be united and their
efforts concentrated upon the execution of good works
and the preventlos of evil, and there are few who do
not appreciate the difficulties and the obstacles which
have to be overcome before such unity and concentration
can be made possible. Philadelphia Public Ledger
LIBERTY BELL NO HOBO.
is a heritage of the nation, but
T Philadelphia Is its responsible keeper. Here,
I in Independence Hall, is the one resting
1 .1 V t lllUk DUVUIU till A U V Vt . 1 HliK U
away from its surroundings and it loses
much of the sentiment that attaches to it
To send It on Junketing expeditions Is to
cheapen it. If the policy of exhibiting it as a traveling
showman would exhibit a wild animal from Africa Is
continued, the time will certainly come when, In some
railroad crash, It will lie scattered In fragments. It has
had one or two pretty narrow escapes already. If any
thing should happen to It Philadelphia would never be
forgiven. Philadelphia Inquirer.
SLOW TO IMPROVE.
Ens-land Don Not Rcadllr Take to
the 'Hello" Syatera.
, In some particulars England Is far
behind the main procession that Is
keeping up with the latest advance In
the progress of modern civilization. It
does not take readily to modern im
provements and its dislike of telephones
Is beginning to annoy even the govern
meut. Parliament made up Its mind
several years ago to acquire the "hello"
system for the state's benefit as fast as
the expiration of private franchises
made it possible to do so. Of course
there was a disposition to popularize
the use of telephones as much as pos
sible In order to make the government
allzed business profitable from the
start ;
But the private corporations refused
to show any enthusiasm. Inasmuch as
they were going to lose their franchises
pretty soon anyway, they argued, what
was the use in drumming up custom
ers? To get around the difficulty the
government started a system of its
own, making it a branch of tte postal
service. It was figured that this sys
tem would serve as a nucleus for the
private lines as they reverted to the
state, and that In the meanwhile the
poBtofflce could make people acquainted
with the telephone's convenience In of
fice, shop and home.
To make It a really popular feature
of modern life the postmaster general
put the rate down to $25 yearly for
party lines. This was considered pretty
cheap and a rush of business was ex
pected. But there wasn't any. All
government offices were supplied with
Instruments and a few upper civil serv
ants put them in. their houses. Nobody
else seemed to care for them.
Investigation proved that the aver
age Londoner regarded the mall as
quite speedy enough for the delivery
of his messages. If he happened to be
In' a tremendous hurry he went to the
nearest public telephone and didn't
complain a bit if the trip was 8 or 10
blocks long.
Only peers and millionaires think of
putting telephones In their houses.
About 1 retail store in 20 has one. The
smaller hotels consider them unneces
sary. Most big offices bave them, but
it isn't an invariable rule, and no one
deems it inconvenient or old-fashioned
or stingy to be without
Some people say the government's
trouble with almost all the commercial
enterprises it undertakes is attributable
to the laziness of the rank and file of
English civil servants.
Allaylns Ills Keara.
The New Convict Say, old man, I'm
likely to go stomping around my boud
oir at all hours of the night. I'm a
sleep walker. It worries me terribly,
too.
Guard It needn't in this hotel, bo
There Isu't the slightest danger of your
walking out of a window.
Xothlas; to Fear.
Motorist's Friend O, I suy! Good
ness gracious, we'll be smashed up in
a minute! ' '
Motorist All right, my dear fellow,
don't excite yourself. The firm I
Ixiuubt this motor from bate agreed
to keep It In remlr for a year.
When a man tells Ills side of the
"story," you can't believe all he says.
He at least exaggerates lu bis own
favor.
AN ALCOHOL SCHOOL.
It 1srkfi Farmers Haw to Make
the Denatared Article.
The government has now opened Its
alcohol school in the city of Washing
ton for the Instruction of the people of
the United States In proper methods of
making and using the denatured prod
uct For this purpose a model still has
been erected close by the Department
of Agriculture which is big enough to
work up twenty-flva bushels of corn a
day, converting that quantity of grain
into seventy-five gallons of B5 per cent
alcohol that Is to sny. 90 per cent
pure. The plant represents the small
est output that can be conducted profit
ably on a commercial basis.
The farmers cannot very well see It
for themselves, so arrangements have
been made by which they may learn
about It Agricultural experts from tho
experiment stations In every one of the
I'-tates are to go to Washington, says
Buburban Life, examine the alcohol,
making outfit, see how it works and
listen to a course of lectures explaining
its management. It will be their busi
ness when they go home to teach the
farmers how to put up and how to op
erate plants of this chnracter.
Inasmuch as such n plant could not
be erected for less than $2,500, it is
obvious that the ordinary farmer
would not be able to afford to construct
one of that kind. But and here Is the
point any group of farmers represent
ing a small neighborhood might easily
do so.
Then they would bring their corn
stalks nnd other refuse to the mill and
receive in return alcohol. It Is a sim
ple method which farmers huve long
been accustomed to adopt where flour
and other necessaries were concerned.
The farmers are eager to find a
cheap source of energy. Nowadays
multitudes of them use gasoline for
such purposes as grinding feed, cutting
fodder aud running the corn sheller,
circular saw, horse clipper and grind
stone. A farm In these times is more or less
of a factory. But gasoline Is expen
sive. Alcohol Is comparatively cheap,
and when manufactured from the farm
er's own vegetable refuse it would cost
next to nothing.
In France there are 27,000 faror
distillers who mnke alcohol for Indus
trial purposes from molasses and sugar
beets. It Is high time that this Idea
was turned to profitable account in the
United States. Hotten apples, frost
bitten potatoes, stale watermelons,
cornstalks nnd cobs nnd every other
kind oft vegetable refuse are available
for the purpose.
t Wit of the Youngsters $
Little Joe Say, papa, Is it true that
history repeats Itself? Papa So they
say, my boy. Little Joe Well, mine
don't when t try to learn It
"Grandpa," asked C-year-old Mildred,
"do the good die young?" "There Is a
report to that effect," said the old gen
tleman. "Then, grnudpa," continued
Mildred, "If that's true, you must be
awfully bad."
"Harold," said his mother, "you were
very restless In church this morning.
Why couldn't you keep still, like your
father?" "I don't know, mamma," re
plied the observant youngster, "unless
It was 'cause I wasn't sleepy."
Small Flossie was a great chatterbox.
One day her mother said : "Flossie,
you talk too much. You don't hear me
Jabbering all day long." "No, mamma,"
rejoined the little miss,, "but you've
lived an awful long time and have had
time to get most of the talk out of
you."
Walter, aged 7, is a wise son who
knows not only his own father, but his
mother ns well. "Now, Walter," said
the teacher, "if your father can do a
piece of work in one hour and your
mother could also do it in one hour,
how long would It take both of them
to do it?" Three hours," answered
Walter, "counting the time they would
waste in arguing about how It should
be dojie."
Unconquerable.
It was a veteran soldiery that repeo
pled the plantations and the home
steads of the South, writes Thomas
Nelson Page In "The Old Dominion,"
and withstood the forces thrown
against them during the period of re
construction. In addition to personal
pride, self-reliance and physical cour
age, they possessed also race pride,
which is inestimable iu a great pop
ular struggle.
However beaten and broken they
were, the people came out of the war
with their spirit unqueik hed and a be
lief that they were unconquerable.
A story used to be told of an old
Confederate soldier who was trudging
home, after the war, broken and rag
ged, and worn. He was asked what
he would do if the Yankees got after
him when he reached home.
"Oh, they ain't goln' to trouble me,"
be said. "If they do, I'll Just whip
'em again."
A MlataU Uften Made.
"Bishop Potter was a wonderfully ef
ftctlve preacher," said a Brooklyn
clergyman. "His method wus reserved
and quiet. He always had himself well
band.
"I once delivered a sermon before
kHm. I was young and enthusiastic at
tile time, a disciple of the methods of
Xalmage. I let myself go lu that Her
Sion. My voice shook the dum b. My
gestures shook the pulpit.
"At luncheon, ufterward, I am
ashamed to sny that I fished for com
pliments. I leaned over the bishop and
asked him lu a low voire to give me
some advice on prcHcblug. Dear knows
what I exiwcted him to reply prob
ably that I was beyond any advice from
hliu. At any rate what lu did reply
was this :
".My dear young friend, never mis
take lu tlie pulpit i'i'spii-utiu for In
spiration.' "
Wueu a man has a mean dog, b
usually takes pride in it
Old Favorites
Beaallfql Snow.
Oh, the snow, the beautiful snow,
Filling the sky and the earth below:
Over the housetops, over the streets,
Over the beads of the people yon mt
DanoiDg, flirting, swimming along.
Beantiful snow, It can do nothing wrong,
Flying to kiss a fair lady's cheek,
Clinging te Hps in a frolicsome freak.
Beautiful snow, from the heavens above,
Pure as an aage) and fickle as love.
Oh, the snow, the beautiful snow,
Hew tha flakes gather and laugh as they
go,
Whirling along In its maddening fun ;
It plays in its glee with everyone,
Chasing, laughing, hurrying by,
It lights op the face and It sparkles the
ye;
And even tde dogs with a bark and
bound
Bnsp at the crystals that eddy around,
The town is alive and Its heart's In i
glow
To welcome the coming of beautiful snow.
How the wild crowd goes swaying along.
Hailing each other with humor and song,
How the gay sledges like meteors flash by,
Bright for a moment, then lost to the eye,
Ringing, swinging, dashing they go
Over the crest of the beautiful snow,
8now, so pure when it falls from the
sky.
To be trampled in mud by the crowd
rushing by,
To be trampled and tracked by the thou
sands of feet
Till It blends with the horrible filth la
the street.
Once I was pure as tha snow, but I fell i
Fell, like the snowflakes, from heavea
to hell;
Fell, to be trampled aa the filsh of the
street ;
Fell, to be scoffed, to be spit on and
beat ;
Pleading, cursing, dreading to die,
Selling my soul to whoever would buy.
Dealing in shame for a morsel of bread,
Hating the living and fearing the dead.
Merciful God, have I fallen so low
And yet I was one like this beautiful
snow?
Once I was fair as the beautiful snow,
With an eye like its crystals, a heart
like its glow ;
Once I was loved for ray Innocent grace.
Flattered and sought for the charm of
my face,
Father, mother. Bisters, all,
God and myself I have lost by my fall.
The veriest wretch that goes shivering
by
Will take a wide sweep lest I wander
too nigh
For of ail that is on or about me I
know
There is nothing that's pure, but tha
- beautiful snow.
now strange it should be that this beau
tiful snow
Should fall on a sinner with nowhere
to go.
How strange it would be whon the night
comes again
If the snow and the ice struck my des
perate brain ;
Fainting, freezing, dying alone,
Too wicked for prayer, too weak for my
moan
To be heard in the crash of the crazy
town
Gone mad in its Joy that the snow's com
ing down
To lie and to die in my terrible woe.
With a bed and a shroud of the beauti
ful snow.
J. W. Watson.
Everybody Lucky.
An old farmer of the County of Dur
ham called at a roadside public house
where he was well known. The land
lady asked him to buy a ticket for a
lottery they had on there.
"Well," he said, "I hue naught In ma
pocket, or I might"
"Oh, that's a' reet, John," she says;
"take the ticket and pay for it any
time."
Some time later John called again
and the landlady asked him if ho knew
who had won the lottery.
"No," be said, "who won?"
"Well, hardly durst tell you, but oor
Sam won. Wasn't he lucky?"
"Aye," said John, "he was lucky.
And who was second, then?"
"I durst hardly tell you. Who would
you think now?" she said.
"I couldn't say," said John.
"Well, it was oor Sully. Wasn't she
lucky?"
"Aye, she was lucky," said John,
"ond who was third?" he asked.
"Well," she said, "you would never
guess, and I might as well tell. I was
third. Wasn't I lucky?"
"You were," he said. "Did I ever
pay you for that ticket missus?"
"No, John, you didn't" she said,
fawning upon him.
"Well," said John, "isn't I lucky?"
Simplicity.
Flushed and smiling, the girl grad
uate seated herself beside her father
in the automobile and patted the pale,
blue bow of ribbon on ber essay.
"Did you like my essay, father?"
"Your commencement essay upon
Life's Higher Calls," he said, "seemed
to me to be too too. But listen,
here Is an autograph letter of John
Ruskln's that I bought this morning
for $17. Maybe, if you had read this
letter before writing your essay it
would have been better."
Then the father read the letter
aloud, while the young girl listened
with a scornful and sour air.
"I was obliged to write too young,
when I knew only half truths, and
was eager to set them forth by what
I thought fine words. Teople used to
call me a good writer then; now they
say I can't write at all, because,
for Instance, if I think anybody's
house is on fire I only say, 'sir, your
house is on fire,' where I formerly
used to say, 'sir, the abode in which
you probably passed the delightful
days of youth is in a state of Inflam
mation." and everybody used to like
the effect of the two p's la 'probably
passed,' and the two d's la 'delightful
days.' -
Had Uelter Taate.
Father How do you like your new
mamma, Elsie?
Daughter (turning up ber nose)
ITm! Next time you better let me
pick one out for you I
