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About Dakota County herald. (Dakota City, Neb.) 1891-1965 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 4, 1908)
Dakota County Herald Dakota crrr, keo. JOHN L REAM, ... PnblUlic Wo!!, It's all over for four years thnuk gooniwns. Comparatively few people at the nge f fiO have as good a start In llfo ns President Roosevelt. When It comes to aeronautics most tntn will prefer to learn the trick through a correspondence school. Comfortable on $."50,000 a year? Per haps not; but the average nmn would be entirely content to be unoomfortnble n It A former federal Ink cxwrt lias been flaed $10,000. It would seem that an Ink expert Hhould le able to keep ibis record clour of blots. It la wonderful to think that surgi cal science la mnklng It posslhlo for a Bibb wltli an unsatisfactory liver to trade it off for a better one. It la estimated that the apple crop this year Is enough to make 0,000,000, 000 pies. But for tho sake of variety Jet's have nn occasional dumpling. Mr. Rockefeller says he despises the inan whose only desire Is to get money, money, money and more money. Iiut lie doesn't go ao far as to kick him a:r. Our English cousins don't know hat a "frazle" is, don't they? Let them look at the southern extremities f a hobo's trousers If they know What a hobo la. Counterfeit $5 bills are In clrcula Von. The prudent man will scrutinize bis $5 bills before be takes them In, lid the truly honest man will look carefully at his before he pays thorn nt A father has recognized in an art- lat'a drawing the likeness of his long lost daughter. lie never would have noted the resemblance if it had been a tige photograph which fell into his bant. The latest simplified spelling reforms include "doubt" and "debt" without a b" and "Island" without an "s." If those learned gentlemen keep on they Will soon be trying to write "society" Without a S. v A man la St Louis is seeking a di vorce from his wife because, among ther things, when he remonstrated With her oa her style of dress, she told fetm to mind his own business. The L Lou la man la not alone In taking admonition as a serious Insult Word cornea from Elklns, W. Va., that the duke la to receive $1,000,000 In cash on the day the marriage takes blace. Why doesn't King Peter wake up? II might, by offering the crown brlnce, got some patriotic American to bay off the national debt of Servla. . It la a very foolish convention which lnya down that we are grown jp when V aavs reached our 21st birthday. (The real majority la reached when wa tegln to earn our own bread and, but ter, and to bring forth the light which feas been fostered In ua by the care of ethers for the last ten or fifteen years, frff-dependence and self-rellauce that la the Teal manhood. Persona who do not wish to cross the ocean in the steerage may soon secure accommodations a little lesa comfort able taaa these offered to second-cabin passengers sad much better than the fcteerage, as tie George Washington, a haw ateamer of a German line, haa first second and third mhim tuuM.. I WDIULf the steerage. Third-cabin passengers Biay Lave staterooms, and there will be dlnlug room, a saloon for the women, . in! a smoking room for the men. Organized lawlessness is to-day tho aatlonal shame of the United States. It is a disgrace in the eyes of th le of every other country that nrn. least civilisation. We hold op our tanas in norror at an outrngo in Rus sia or a fanatical mob nrtnnir in it an American citizen la the victim of mob attack in a foreign country we bristle with an indignation that brings Quick apology and reprisals and the punishment or the guilty as a general rule. We can force a Italsull to tr an American citizen from a brigand's itronghold lu Morocco, but we cannot or do not protect the citizen from the organized mob at home. Personal physical and political fear hus oper ated to wimo extent In preventing the JmnUhuicut of organized lawlessness. The technicalities of law have been n handicap In other eases, but it Is time that energetic action waa taken to dls- tonrage mob and lynch law. Some years ago a physician wrote a pamphlet entitled, "Emotional Prodi tallty," In which he enumerated the lis of mlud and body likely to follow the demonstrative uffectlou bestowed on babies, and entrtated a calm repres sion of the mothers love and the fath er'a Joy whure the Infant was con cerned. The warning of the doctor baa been repeated and emphasized Until to-day, lu some homes. It la ai bad form to bug or kiss the baby as It Is to smash the china. A mot lie full of the new theory forbids any ono to apeak to her buhy. much less to ulav with him. Such a mother explained to d witty frleud that she wished her small son to be "a perfect animal That 1 all very well, my dear lady replied the friend: "but ' you are at present contriving for him to become a perrect vegetniie! " somewhere be tween the nvmvxcltement of an emo tional devoll hi and tho overrenretisiou of such pM-uJ-S,-tem-e thero lies the bappv middle ground, of loving welcome' ror the newnmrs to tne world. They Wl.l find It c ml mid Mlent soon enough It them find It warm and tender at rst One who watches an Italian tber knows whrre the great painters found their models for "Madonna and Child." Devotion, repose, comprehtn alon, needing no translation In word or gesture these one sees In lovely liv ing pictures nil over sunny Italy. Per haps the nervous American mothers may learn from the languorous South ern women. At any rate, they must preserve the world-old fashion of hug ging the bnbyt Women need to remind themsolvt I thnt tho standards of conduct are ever shifting. Rahylon and Japan have strange moral codes written In thelc history. New England records show1 punishments more brutal than crimes, and college endowments gnlned front the proceeds of lotteries held with tha approval of the strictest of Puritan ministers. Public opinion In regard to conduct Is so largely made by women that they ought to be well Informed In the history of ethics. Tho discussion of rnce-track gambling in New York doubtless rings strangely on the enra of spectators at the great English races. At Ascot for example, the course Is thronged not only by the wealth and fashion, but by the stern virtue of English society. Men and women bet on the races with perfect frankness. The bookmakers pass about among the spectators ns freely as If they were selling programs or photo graphs, Instead of "odds." A grave, el derly lady lays her wager of a sover eign ; a young girl takes her mother's advice about her bet of half a crown; nnd an exalted personage announces his winnings as he would record his crop of potatoes. Although Americans notice the moderation with which thla gambling is conducted, they are never theless amazed at It American moral sense does not approve it This vary ing standard of morals among good folk tenches two simple lessons. The first Is that of an Inclusive charity to bo practiced by every student of human history. Saint Paul keenly discerned that as a man thlnketh In his heart so Is he. The aphorism must not how ever, bo enlarged to Imply thnt "as I think so are you." The verdict of the individual conscience Is final for its owner and for no other. Further, In a Christian civilization, the standards of conduct are continually being raised. Now one Christian nation and now an other lead!) tho forward movement. The moral demands of the twentieth century are far hither than those of earlier times, and our children's children are bound to carry them forward until mil lennium's dawn. THE HKFORMED BRONCHO. Mr B Sown Any Day In tha Brl41 Tatas of Central Park. To the general nubile Ahe word bron cho suggesfs everything wild and vi cious lu hor flesh. One associates the usefulness of the broncho almost en tirely with the rugged West That thla wiry little animal could ever develoo the points of a good park horse would be received with much reservation by most persona, Yet some ton years or more of cross breeding, says Country Llfo in America, naa accomplished this somewhat amaz ing result Today one can see on the bridle paths of Central Park the well- groomed broncho fraternizing as an equal witn the blue grass thoroughbred and bla number la constantly growing. To be sure, he la no longer the ham merhead with a pronounced ewe neck, almost as devoid of flesh aa a skeleton. He has developed a fine crest In thla up breeding and can show as One a neck as any Kentucky-bred horse. Ills middle piece Is no longer distend ed from much eating of grass food, nor is he so loosely Joined to his Quar ters aa his prototype. Higher living naa rounded him Into a strikingly well- proportioned saddle horse. In his new estate be subsists less on the fresh, Juicy grasses, and the new order grows quite a different animal. Rut through all thla transformation he still retains the leg characteristics of his broncho ancestry, perfect In sym metry, rather light in muscle and Blen der In bone, but the muscles of strong quality and the sinews very firm. Ills power of endurance has dimin ished somowhat, but even so, he has few equals and no superiors. Ills toughness and grit have changed little in the cross-breeding, and doubtless if turned out to the freedom of range he would give ns good an account of himself aa did hla ancestors In the early days of the West Closing- Ills Month. A very sensible bit of advice ex pressed lu homely language was given by a man not long ago to an excitable and quarrelsome friend. It wns in a brickyard, and two of tho workmen had engaged lu an angry dispute which cul minated In a fierce encounter. In the skirmish one of the combatants was nastily hurt on tho head, and the em ployer, who hapeiied to come on the scene of action when the fight wns fin ishing and was a man of more temper than discretion, advised the Injured one to get a warrant for the other's arrest. While tho matter was being discussed by a number of workmen who had gath ered round a big, burly follow who had beard everything and soon the whole affair made his way to tho man with the damaged cranium and said : "You don't want to got uo warrant RIU. You Just go to the chemist's shop and get yerself two pieces of plarstcr good big ones and put one piece on yor head an the other on yor mouth, an' you'll be all right" -Loudon MaiL Ueatanatlons. Borne foreigners and even certain Americans are disposed to stand aloof from wuut they haughtily term the working classes of the country, it is to be regretted tbut they could not have overheard the conversation which took place on an East river ferryboat not long Bgo betweou a recently Intro duced shall we hazard It? wheel wright and shopgirl. ,-l)o you attend In Rarglner'a estab lishment?" be asked. "Yes; I am one of the emporium la dles," she replied, with beeomlug dig nity. "Where are yon engaged?" "I am one of Ranks & Co.' repository for carriages gentlemen," he Informed her. Philadelphia Ledger. People you owe always tell about It IN A Ifii:iIN3 Tfiwa. Condition Similar ta Thoaa Which rrfvalled In Old Iay. A PIMsburger, now In Rlsbee, Ariz., writes Interestingly of life in that fa tuous mining town, nnd bis description would lead one to believe that some of tho conditions which prevailed In the old romantic days of mining towns haven't changed much, after all. Hs says: "Rlsliee Is Just 10 feet more than a pille high, and has the finest library of any city of Its size In the universe. Bvery daily of any consequence Is to be found on file there. "Rlsbeo lies right in the heart of the mountains and Cochise Teak, Young Rlood hill and Chihuahua hill rise pe pendlcularly to the north, west avd south of it Reer Gulch is a classic thoroughfare and Is not anything else than Its name implies. There are sev enteen saloons In one block, and at B a. m. it Is as noisy ns Redlnm. There Is only ono tree In the town, a sickly looking cottonwood In the yard of Wal-. ter Douglass, one of the big mining men of Arizona and the state of Sonora, Mexico. "College men are as thick In Rlsbee ns files in Kansas City. I roomed with two Harvard, one Yale and two Mis souri School of Mines men during the five months I put. In In Rlsbee. There nre four thriving banks, and one (the Rnnk of Risbee) Is ns elegantly fur nished as any bank In America. Hand a barber or porter anything less than 'two bits' and he will give It back to you. "Yon are aroused at an unearthly hour by the braying of burros, of wBlch there are thousands. Mexicans lead these little fellows with great londs, and, with a boiled burro, make trips Into the mountains, Refore Rlsbee hnd waterworks many Mexlcnns made for tunes by bringing water from the moun tains on burros and selling It at exor bitant prices. I bough'; two burros for six bits apiece and then had to disclaim ownership when feeding time came, which a burro never falls to let yon know. Hay Is $50 a ton, so the owner of a burro has to have plenty of thne to rustle, or he will get the Antl-nolse Society after him. ' "Chinese and Japs bring in produce from the ranches, but neither Chink nor Jap can remain In Rlsbee after 4 p. m. It la a cl.ty ordinance similar to the custom In certain Philippine towns, where a bugle is blown at 4, and the Moros with their bolos are let out of Kie gates." Tho bones of an average whale weigh forty-five tons. Thte country has 138 cities with a population of over 80,000 each. In Texas thero is a man who carries on a regular trade lu rattlesnakes. Ry a recent decree, women are not allowed to engage lu bull-fights In Spain. At Yale University there la a skull of a prehistoric animal which measures nine feet long and six feet broad. The wife of the Prime Minister of Rulgnrla is the president of the Rulgar Ian Woman Suffrage Association, which haa a membership of about 3,000. Farm laborera In the South, paid by the month or year and fed and support ed by the landowner, receive 85 and 40 cents a day during working season. Dr. Martha Hughes Cannon, formerly a State Senator of Utah, has gone to live In California with the Intention of helping the women of that State to get equal suffrage. Dr. Cannon Is describ ed as a powerful and witty speaker. Andreas Dlppel, the tenor, was born In CasscI In 1800. He was originally connected with a banking firm in Cas- sel, but studied music in Rerlln, Milan and Vienna, and made his first appear ance In 1887 in Rremen as the "Pilot" In "The Flying Dutchman." Dr. Matilda Evans of Columbia, S, C, Is the first negro woman to practice medicine lu South Carolina. When 15 she entered the school for negro chtl dreu conducted by Miss Martha Scbo Held nt Aiken, S. C. From there she went to Oberlln College nnd luter to the Woman's Medical College In Phila delphia, where she graduated. aiuio. i-oppovu, a iiussian woman, hus Invented a rudderless airship which she has mimed the annulntcd dragon because of the peculiar shape of Its body. This airship Is said to adapt Itself naturally to every .variety and strength of wind. Persona who have examined the airship declare that lu spite of Its peoullur upiienrunce it is a practical sailer. Miss Josephine It. Uphnui has Just accepted the post of woman missionary and organist lu the new American Sea men's Friend Society Institute In West street, New York City. She has had lirtocn years' experience In the work for seamen and collies direct from the Sailors' Haven, Ronton. She Is known personally to sailors from every part of the world, who speak and look upon her ns their friend. Her Influence with men with whom she comes in contait Is very great. No Error. Herbert had a way of telling make- del love stories about the things he saw nnd his mother wished to convince him that they were not true. So, ohe day, when he saw a dog pass and licgan a rtory about Its being a grizzly bear, she bade him run away and pray Cod to forgive him for telling an untruth. Very soon ho returned and exclaim ed: "God says that It's nil right, mother. Mo thought It was a grizzly, too." Delineator. Many times when you give presents to little folks they appreciate them so much thnt they forget to say thanks. On the other band, grown people uU' ally any thanks, but often do not ap preciate tne girts. When an employer discharge a clerk. bis wife, his father, his mother and his children all begin to bate tho employer. "How did be lose his money?" "His father-ln-Iaw fulled." Illustrated Hits. "Have you got on Independent for tune?" "No, I'm married." Cleveland Lender. Mrs. Knlcker Where do you keep your auto? Mrs. Ncwrlch In a mirage, of course. New York Sun. Jlmmle My ma's gone downtown to pay some bills. Tommle Pooh 1 The man comes to the house to collect ours! He She Is such a charmingly Inno cent girl, Isn't she? She Oh, yes; she ins taken years to acquire It. The Totler. Knlcker You know that speech Is given to man to conceal his thoughts. Rrokcr Well, penmanship does It even letter. New York Sun. She (nt the piano) I presume you nro n true lover of music, nre you not? He Yes, I niu; but prny don't stop playing on my account "John, you yawned twice while ws were willing on thnt Indy." "Well, dear, you did not expect me to keep my mouth closed nil the time, did you?" Magistrate If I remember rightly, this Is not your first sppenrnnce In court. Prisoner No, your honor; but I hope you don't Judge by nppenrances." "I've Just figured out how the Venus tie Mllo came to lose her arms?" How?" "She broke them off trying to button her shirt waist up the bnek." Puck. Weary Wnlker I see 500 more men hns been frown out of work. Tired Trnveler Gee! Dere's gettln to be too much competition In our business! Puck. "The seventeen mothers In the vil lage mothers' club agreed to decide by ballot which had the handsomest baby." "Well, who won It?" "Each kid got one" vote." "Are marriages made In heaven?" "As to that I can't say, but I do know this much" "What Is that, Peleg?" "There'e lots of courting done in church." Washington Herald. "This wntch will last you for a life time," remarked the Jeweler. "Non sense!" retorted the customer. "Can't I Reo for myself now thnt Its hours nre numbered?" London Spare Moments. Man (to boy nt roadside) What tlmo is It? Roy Purty near 12 o'clock. Man Thought It was more than 12. Roy Nope. Never gets more than 12 In this country. Regius nt 1 again. Judge. Rystnnder Doctor, what do 1 you think of this man's Injuries? Doctor (of Irish extraction) Two of them are undoubtedly fntnl ; but ns for the rest of them, time alone can tell. Rostou Transcript "You have a now bousemnld, I see, Mrs. Youugwlfe." "Yes, I got her about n week ngo." "How do you like her?" "Very much Indeed. She lets me do nlinost ns I like about the houses London Tlt-Rlts. "Whnt diagnosis did the doctor mnke of your wife's Illness?" "Snld she Is suffering from overwork.", "Is thnt so?" "Yes; he looked nt her tongue nnd reached thnt decision Immediate ly." Detroit Free Press. Mr. Newwed You never cnll me pet rallies now unless you want something. Refore marriage It was different. Mrs. Newwed Oh, no. Refore marriage I called you pet names because I wnnted you. London Gentlewoman. "Jlmmle, your face Is dirty again this morning!" exclaimed the tencher. What would you sny If I came to school every day with a dirty face?" "Huh," grunted Jinmile, "I'd be too perllte to sny anything?" Circle. Mother (In a very low voice) Tom my, your grandfather Is very 111. Can't you sny something nice to cheer him up a bit? Tommy (In nn earnest voice) Grandfather, wouldn't you like to hnve soldiers nt your funeral ?" London Tlt- Rlts. "I'm sure," snld the nreveler, "the public would be Interested to know tho secret of jour success." "Well, youna ninn," replied the cnptuln of Industry, "the secret of my success hns been my ability to keep It a secret." Cntholio Standard nnd Times. "I'm nfrnid I'm catching cold," said Klosemnn, trying to get some medical advice free. "Every once in a while. 1 fool an itching In my nt.se, and then : I snooze. What would you do In a ens like that, doctor?" "Well." replied Dr. Shnrpo, "I guess I'd sneeze, too." The mother of a conscientious llttlfl miss, wishing to rid her of tho fear ol ; some cows in a Held through which elm had to pass, told her to go right by nnd pretend she didn't see theiu. "Rut, nmmma," protested the small maid, "wouldn't that be deceiving tin cows?" "How did those two ever come to murry each other?" "Well, she wm the only woman he ever knew who would listen to his anecdotes over five minutes nt a time, and he was tin only man she ever knew that could look nt her that long without getting nett rulgin." Puck. A physiologist came upon a hard working Irishman tolling, bareheaded, In the street. "Don't you know," said the physiologist, "that to work lu tin sun without a hat Is bud for, your brains?" "D'ye think," asked the Irish man, "that Ol'd be on this Job If Ol bad enuy bruins?" Wrlvoui, While siu contest We deem unsightly. All love the guest Who lies politely. ' -Rlrmlngham Age-Herald. Caller Is the ludy of the house In) Waitress (who hns been given notice) She's In, but she's no ludy! Llfo. Have you ever noticed when yoi want to write a letter around hoost that tho Ink U half water I TOWS A 3D C0TJ3TTRY. Oh, the patter of the rain On the roof and window-pane (You have never read a poem just like this'n) Is so sweet a slumber song That to ml it would bo wrong, So you liare to lie awnke all night and listen. Which reminds me that In town All the noisy noises drown Every sound so fully that It doesn't mat ter, While the country I so still Sounds hll sound so clear and shrill That It's hard for ono to sleep amid the clatter. Nixon Waterman, la Smart Set. HIS EXTRA WORK "Hcndriek's certainly Industrious," said Mr. Pickle, night city editor of the Dally Whiff. "He's always writing Sunday stuff." "Can't burn the candle at both ends," observed Tom Click, who wis on the cable desk. "He'll Mow up like they all do. He's young ond eager, of course, but If he keeps this gait up It'll bo tell the gang a fond good-by for him." They gazed at Hendrlck, who wns beating out a story on bis typewriter. Click sighed. "I remember the biggest week's bill I ever made ns a reporter," snld he, re flectively. "Time of the St Louis cy clone. I wrote " Here Mr. Pickle's phone rang nnd he answered It, with glad haste, because ne a heard about that record bill. Click, having little to do at the moment, strolled about the city room, lie halt ed at Hendrlck's desk and greeted the young mnn amiably. "Evenln', Joe," said he. "What you making?" v "Sunday story," replied Hendrlck briefly. x Click remained beside him. Hendrlck stopped work and hid the sheefr upon his machine by carelessly laying one arm over It. lie smiled coldly. "Romance?" pursued Click, and he wondered why Hendrlck flushed at the word. "Why don't you sUiot out some more of thnt Rowery Junk? It's good nnd you can't turn out too many of 'em. How you feeling?" "Oh, I'm all right," said Hendrlck. He sighed as If Irritated. "I tell you, better not try to do too much," Click warned. "I was lust ns gay as yon are when I wns a young fel- i it "WHAT MUST TOU HAVE THOUGHT?" low. There'll be reporters after we're dead " "Someone on your phone, sir," a small copy boy sought the speaker's at tention. "As you'll find out," ended Click, and scuttled to his desk. Obviously relieved, Hendrlck return ed to his work. Sheet after sheet Join ed the neat pile beside tho typewriter. In the middle of one, at which he stared with worried eyes, a boy announced that his services were required by the city desk. "Man killed two, took gns himself and made a bloomer of it, now at the hospital. Wife caught him with aflin ity on the street. Here's the names. We can't stand over three-quarters to night. Only a ten-page paper," said Mr. Pickle. "Smith can tnke it on the phone if it looks like a late Job. Gim me whnt you enn for the first" nendrlck rushed back to his copy, foiled it Into a big envelope and slid that Into bis coat pocket "Wby does he lug a Sunday story around on this murder thing?" pon dered Click, who saw the action. "That boy's head is Just so full of space-grabbing in the magazine section that he can't think of anything else." Hendrlck, having giu-nered a story gcod enough for the first page, return ed In time to pound out a third of a column for the first edition. Then he rewrote the lute and lengthened it to the full column, to .which Mr. Pickle, being pleased with his young man's gleanings, graciously extended the space allowance. It wns 1 a. m. when Hendrlck fin ished his night's assignment Click, going home with all the morning pa pers under his arm, was shocked to see Hendrlck tnke out an enveloie, rapidly scan the typewritten pages It hnd held aud then begin upon the "Sunday stuff." The toller looked up and met Click's gaze. "You better go home," snld the cable editor sternly. "Gwan, get out o' here nnd quit that ding-donging forever ! Wunt nny eyes or brains left for your old age?" Hendrlck smiled coldly. "My eyes are all right." be retorted. "Good !" "Pickle," said Click, kicking his way through the clutter of proofs upon tho floor within a two foot radius of bis colleague, "you talk to thnt kid. He's daffy, my boy1. Reen writing since he got In nt 0, except for the time he was out on that shooting yurn. Make him beat It home." Mr. Pickle also felt a very friendly Interest lu Hendrlck. He crossed the room. "I'd call this a day, If I were you," bs said. WHAT THEY SEE AT in m 1! ifl Did you ever notice the difference between the wny a mnn nnd a woninn size up a pretty woman? The man wnstes no tlmo on mere detail, lie takes the girl has gone past nlm be knows every lineament In her face, the color In the figure at a glanco and then his eyes become riveted on the face. Refore of her eyes, the shade of her hair, the droop of her mouth, the nrch of her brows, nnd the pure profile. Rut ns for her clothes: "Oh, yes, of course, she wore clothes. Yes, they were. beautiful. Such a lovely shnde of gray, or wns it brown? no, it was green, a green thnt was blue and brown, with all the colors of the Iris blended In the pnttern." As a matter of fact, the gown was a tweed check of no pnrtlculnr color. "Her muff was so soft It wns a seal skin no, black wolf or wns It lynx?" As a matter of fact, the muff was blue wolf. "And her hat! Oh, such a dream of a hat ! Rlnck, of course, nnd covered nil over with those fluffy plumes." In renllty It wns a smoke gray, with those long, straight qnllls. Rut the woman ! She couldn't tell you whether the girl's eyes were brown or black. Rut she did notice a slight trace of rouge on the cheeks nnd Indi cations of penciling on the eyebrows, but then she could tell you how mnny quills ornnmented the hat, and Rhe can probably tell you Just nt what bargain sale it wns bought. She will tell you to a penny what coat, dress, furs,, fluffy ruff nnd dainty bottlnes cost, nnd the chnnces nre that If she met the same woman In a different dress to-morrow she wouldn't recognize her. Such is woman! And such Is mpn! Tnke your pick. Chlcngo Amerlcnn. From Hendrlck Issued a hiss of exas peration. "I nm writing a Sunday story!" he said distinctly. "Don't you wish me In the office?" "Don't be absurd,' said Mr. Pickle. "I hate to see you kill yourself, that's all. Nenrly done?" "I hope to be, soon," said Hendrlck. significantly; whereat they retreated. Every member of the staff comment ed on Hendrlck's love of work. Retween news stories he turned out Innumer able columns. "I believe he's doing a book," Bald Charlie Cubb, the Juvenile Individual who did such chores for The Whiff ns the older men declined to waste time upon, "he's so absorbed." "He's been looking gloomier every night since he started on it," remarked Mr. McLeinon, who covered Tenderloin police. "Ain't a bit like himself." They speculated, but after one or two attempts The Whiff staff ceased to ask questions, because Hendrlck dis played a too savnge temper when in quiries were mnde. Click publicly mourned over him. "Hendrlck must have six full pages In tho magazine," he said to Snipper, the Sunday editor, on a Saturday after noon. You shouldn't let him work as he does. Bad." "Why, X can't get him to write even a little human Interest story and I offered to run his name over It," said the Sunday editor. "They're all lazy. And he's the laziest" "Hendrlck hasn't anything in to morrow?" ' "Nary a line," snld Snipper. "Mighty queer," rumlnnted Click. "Is he trying to bust the mngazlnes?" In the city room Hendrlck wns writ ing, as usual,' but he appeared dejected. "Now what you doing?" asked Click. "Sunday story?" Hendrlck nodded sadly. "Won't the end come out right?" "Nothing's right," snld Hendrlck, woefully. "It's all wrong." Click heard the swish of a silk gown. That was an Infrequent sound In the city room. He looked. A pretty girl, in nn olive green gown and a droopy sort of hat with a plume, of which Click approved, followed a pug nosed copy boy toward Hendrlck's desk. She carried a sheath of big envelope with the New York Whiff printed In one corner. "Oh, Joey," she cried, rushing past the boy; "we moved two weeks ago and I Just happened to go Into the old place and there I found all the letters together. What must you have thought V "Is Is It all right?" Hendrlck scorn ed to wait for Click to absent himself. "Is It?" "Of course, you silly," said the pret ty girl. She blushed redly. "I Just couldn't wait, and so walked In here," she added. Click sueuked away. New York Tel egram. A Test tot m Sermon. A member of the faculty of the Uni versity of Pennsylvania has had fre quent occasion to reprove his eight- year-old daughter for playing with matches. Recently the youngster in the exer cise of ber favorite diversion succeed ed in burning her hands. Immediately she was summoned to Judgment "Clara," said tho father, sternly, "I should punish you for your disobedience. There Is, however, no need to In this case, for God has al ready punished you." "Yes, sir," meekly responded the child; "but, papa, Ho let me play with the matches an awfully long time first" Harper's Weekly. THE FIRST GLANCE. yriiir 7 ktn r Some people act ridiculous nnd then, become lndlgnnnt because people tell It. No mntter how loud a woman dress es, she imagines she is dressed artisti cally. No, a woman doesn't necessarily han-. die a broom when she makes sweeping assertions. x A duty to bo done ia a stern remin der, but a duty well done is a pleasant remembrance. He who reads will run against many clever sayings, but he who runs will never read them. A parasol, though Invented to keep the sun off, generally manages to In duce some son to come nearer. And It sometimes happens that a mau ls not fully appreciated by his wife un til she collects his life Insurance. Honesty Is a boomerang and Its pol icy never looks better to us than when It conies back again to our own feet Dress is said to be woman's strong est weapon. Does that mean there Is a dagger hidden In every sheath gown? The recollection of a good act may give us a swollen head, but the knowl edge of a mean one Is ns a shoe that pinches. About the first thing a woman does after moving Into a flat Is to look In all the closets to see If the last tenants left any family skeletons. The young mnn who presents a girl with a pound box of bonbons la her Ideal until another young man comes along with a two-pound box. The man la the motor car would have more, respect for the pedestrian If he stopped to think how the airship man, In turn, looks down on him. To Father Time. Rackward, turn backward, O Time, in thy flight ! Give us an autoless day and a- night Give us a "yellow" sans headlines to scan A rustleless skirt, and a hustlcless man, A babe teddy-bearless, a niicrobeless kiss, A fistic fight fbkeless, a straight-frontlesa miss, A giggleless schoolgirl, and better than that ! A summer-clad college man wearing a hat! I know, Father Time, that I'm asking too much, Rut turn to a day ere a dinner was lunch. Swing back to an age peroxidnless for hair An B3on ere "rats" made their rendezvous there An old-fashioned breakfast without Shred ded Hay, A season when farmers went whineleas a day, A burg moving-pictureless ah, what a treat! A gumless-girl town and a trolleylesa street; I'm asking too much, but I pray, Daddy Time, For days when a song had both substano and rhyme! The Bohemian. What 11a Watches. "Is he a keen observer?" "Only of one thing." "And what Is that?" "The clock." Rlrmlngham Age-Hat-aid. Wo Imagine an awkward girl always feels worse about It than aa awkward, boy. V t