f &8te
Opinions of
FOR AN UP-TO-DATE CHURCH.
1 ;
HE un-to-dute twentieth
U '4 I equipped with canned sermons and canned
1 I music, will only need to lay In some praying
iiiBi uini a uiiru it 1 1 ii 1 1
reach u state of imtomatle
have the preacher fully
consequences which might
Tatlon that they have so llght-henrtodly taken up? It Is
all very well to bare an automatic substitute through the
hot months. But suppose the machine should prove
more eloquent than the man? Why sheuld a church pay
$3,000 a year for excellent but wooden sermons when It
can listen to the great pulpit orators for a trifling sum?
irVe nay yet see the preaching for the whole country
done by a half dozen silver-tongued speakers, constltut
tt the canned sermon trust, and undertaking to supply
any brand of doctrine that may be called for, with a
lie line in funeral and wedding services. Any deacon
can turn the handle, and the line of goods can be ex
changed If net satisfactory. Springfield (Mass.) Republican.
THE "HEREDITY" HUMBUG.
WO eminent Dutch scientists, with the co
onerntion of more thnn 8.000 Dutch Dhv-
II slclans, have been making a statistical
CTIUUJ UL II 1. i t II 1 1 J t uuu 1.1. T vi juoi jiuviinucu
their report, In which they declare that,
while mental and physical qualities are
largely Inherited, generally from the fa
ther, the moral tendencies are not communicated at all.
They find little transmission of nervous troubles or any
ther diseases:
More nlllrlng lies and self-delusions have been nuns
n that exejiso "heredity" than on any other perhaps
In all the lexicon of specious sophistry. Heredity Is bo
easy a way of accounting for wroug tendencies that It
appeals as Irresistibly to certain classes of "scientific
experts" as It does to criminals, drunkards nud loafers.
Quacks gain repute for profundity by holding forth
n "the laws of heredity," as If they were mysterious
Ukases Issued from behind nature's veil, which few can'
understand and none resist Nine-tenths of It all, ac
cording to the Dutch doctors, Is mere tommyrot.
Every man, If he Is at a man at all, Is master of his own
conduct Yes, he Is master, too, of his own thoughts,
purposes, Ideals, and everything of high Importance in
the make-up of hla character and the control of his
life. To one of America's greatest actors was transmit
ted by his father a double tendency, one for the stage
and' the other for the bottle. The son
and repressed the second, and achieved world-wide fame.
According to the commonly-accepted notions concerning
heredity, he should have reversed the order and gone to
the glitter.
The man who gets ahead In life Is
f To PihU Yon Friend.
: Though you probably have no desire
annoy your friends, we still believe
that you should try them with this
puzzle. This is
enough to reduce a
person to a state
of absolute frenzy,
and still the trick
Is simple enough
when you know
how.
All you have to
HOW TO FIX THE
STRAWS.
Co is to give your friend five straws,
little sticks, two pieces of cardboard,
kbout three and one-half inches long,
4nd a penny, and ask him to lift the
Whole by holding the tip end of one
bf the straws. Most people try to
balance the penny on one straw and
pile the other four straws on top of
tie penny, but they never succeed. The
rick is explained In the picture. You
an easily do it If you try.
Sharpener of SeUeora.
Sharpening a pair of scissors has
always been considered to properly be
long to an expert An Indiana inventor
decldod that a de
vice could be read
ily made by which
the sharpening
could be readily
accomplished by
anyone. He, ac
cordingly, designed
the device by
which scissors can
be sharpened wlth-
SHA&rENs scissors out entailing the
employment of skilled labor. It com
prises a base, which Is clamped to a
table or other support. On the base Is
a sharpening stone or other suitable
abrasive nidterlal, while at the opposite
and Is au upright arm from which de
pends a movable chimp.
The scissors are held In correct po
sition over the stone by means of the
Clamp. The latter Is then moved back
and forth across the arm, thus moving
the blade of the scissors across the
Sharpcnlug stone. Where scissors are
employed t a great extent this simple
menus of sharpening the dull blades
should prove both valuable aud econom
ical. Cnrkpoller loarenlon One.
' Everyone will undoubtedly welcome
the swvcssful effort of a Philadelphia
Inventor to Improve the old fashioned
corkscrew which
has been In use for
ages and still re
talus Its original
form. Attempts to
pull a cork with
the ordinary cork
screw in many
cases ends disas
trously to the per
se u inaklrg the at-
i okk p; 1 1 i n. tpmpr. especially
when the cork tits t!;:'.iiry In the neck
of the bottle nnd refuse to be reipoved
until the bottle Ins Iwi placed between
th -Luc. Rod th. cj;Us rew tued at
5
r .l aa. sw li iw t mpfc, a .la
Great Papers on Important Subjects.
take the credit to himself, nut the man who goes to
the devil always accuses somebody else of having greased
the way. Thin la not denying that there Is some fore
In heredity, and more In early environment and train
ing, but It la a force that except in rare instances may
be overcomo or rightly directed. And out of inherited
faults often bloom great virtues. The belief that you
have a weak spot Is reason to especially guard yourself
there a reason that the man with the right stuff In him
will obey. There la aothlng In the world that la more
tyrannical, yet mere tractable, than the human will.
Tour will la either your best friend or your worst enemy.
By cultivation yon can make It whichever you choose
Dea Moines News.
centurr church.
a ii it. uiMiMi n v v
perfection. But
considered the
follow this luno-
N OTHER
the continuity and relation of events, an awakened in
terest In daily happenings will arouse a desire to trace
them back through preceding stages. It Is the break in
continuity between the past and the Immediate present
that deadens enthusiasm. By studying history back
ward from the Immediate present this chasm would be
bridged and the passlou for tracing effect to cause stim
ulated. Boston Transcript
A
her own labor, she lives n simple, retired life, she la
totally blind, and yet we question whether there are
many who In present peaco of mind, and exalted vision
of faith, have attained unto all that Is desirable In life
so nearly as Fanny Crosby, the hymn writer, who at 88
years of age reigns queen of human happiness. Univer
sale Leader.
cultivated the first
usually content to
for several minutes. Then It Invariably
comes out with a sudden Jerk, throwing
the contents In all directions.
After the corkscrew proper has been
Inserted In the cork, the upright arm
forming a wedge is placed on the neck
of the bottle. Using the handle as a
lever, the most obstinate cork can be
readily extracted without endangering
the clothes of the operator. When not
in use, the corkscrew and wedge can be
folded within the outer end of the han
dle, which is hollowed out to form a
housing.
Protection for All Shoes.
It Is well known that the ordinary
shoe is not of sufficient strength to
warrant use by miners, laborers on
railways and other
places where shovels
and spades are em
ployed. An Arkansas
man, therefore, has
designed a shoe pro
tector for the pur
pose of protecting
the shoe.especlally at
the shank and Instep.
shoe pBOTECTon. The protector con
sists of a metal plate, which flta be
neath the shank of the shoe. A piece
of leather or other flexible material ex
tends from tlio metal plate around the
heel, with the other end over the in
step, both connecting by buckles and
straps to a piece of leather extending
from the opposite of the metal plate.
It will be obvious that a shoe provided
with this protection braces the shank
and ankle of the foot of the wearer.
Moreover, a shovel can be readily
pushed Into the ground without injury
to the shoe. The protector Is quickly
attached to or detached from the shoe.
The Art of Food. '
I suppose none of us recognizes the
great part that Is played In life by eat
ing nnl drinking. The appetite is so
imperious thnt we can stomach the
least Interesting viands and pass off a
dinner hour thankfully enough on
bread nnd water Just as there are
men who must read something, if it
were only "lirudshaw's Guide." But
there is roninne" about the matter, after
all. Probably the fible has more devo
tees than love, and I am sure that food
Is much more generally entertaining
than scenery. lo yon give In, as Walt
Whitman would say, that you are any
the less Immortal for that? The true
materialism Is to be ashamed of what
wo ure. To detect the flavor of an
olive is no less a piece of human er
fcctlou than to find beauty in the col
ors of the sunset. Robert Louis Stev
enson. We have lived a great many years,
and have never yet seen any time, need
or occasion, for eating off a kitchen
floor, yet It has always been the stand
ard of neatness if a woman's kitchen
floor Is so clean "anyone could eat off
It."
0 nsloiiolly n woman buys a hut
that tutu,!!!? lwL like uie
W.Vr ...
S3
AS HISTORY MIGHT BE TAUGHT.
way of teaching history - which
. I the schools might adopt haa apparently
I not yet appealed to them. A good news-
puper, ii us iracuer tuowi now lo inter
pret its dally record, may stimulate an in
terest in history even more than the formal
history itself. If the pupil can be tangbt
SUCCESSFUL LIFE.
SUCCESSFUL life Is rather hard to define,
for the definition varies at different times
and under different conditions. The spirit
of the present defines In material terms,
and yet in the midst of this material age
there has dwelt a. successful woman. She
has not large means, she is-dependent upon
"HORNSWOQQLED."
OKNSWOGGLED" is ono of the most ex
pressive of all words in the vernacular of
the American citizen. There is a world of
meaning in It, and, although not found In
any one of the dictionaries of the day rec
ognized as authoritative, It Is a word that
fits. Cincinnati Commercial-Gazette.
CALL OF AFRICA.
There I an Allurement tn Hn
Jangle for the Ranter.
There Is one profession and only
one that a man can't be trained Into
or kicked Into or driven Into unless he's
born into it as well, says Berkeley
Hutton In Everybody's. By this I
mean that unless he has a natural love
for It he'll be worse than useless in it.
for he will never be able to stand the
grueling he'a hound to get in It That
Is my-profession Ivory hunting. You
can make a lawyer or a merchant or a
banker or even a doctor or a Bailor
out of almost any man of average in
tc'llgence, but you can't make a hunter
out of him unless he . was born
hunter.
Many a time I've come back from a
trip leaving half my men nnd all my
Ivory rotting in some deadly African
swamp, half dead with fever, swearing
that I'm done with the business for
good. And some bright day,' In- six
months, or even In three, the smell of
the Jungle gets Into my nostrils
through all the roar of the street traf
fic 1 hear the squeal of an elephant or
the coughing roar of the llon't chal
lenge and that settles the business.
Back I go again, knowing precisely
what Is coming the sweating days ami
the chilling nights, the torments of In
sects nnd of thirst, the risks and hard
ships fl the privations. For once
Africa has laid her spell upon a man
hes hers forever. He'll dream of her
of the black tangle of forests he's
broken through, hot on the trail of a
wounded bull tusker; of the parched
and blistered veldts he's crossed under
the blazing sunlight; of the nights,
those moonlit, haunted nights, when
he's watched beside a runway, waiting
for the game to come down to drink
and listened to the ripple of the water
on the flats, the splash of a crocodile,
the stealthy snapping of branches all
around him, the scurry of monkeys
overhead ; listened to the vast black
silence, Into which nil smaller sounds
are cast as pebbles are dropped into a
pool.
The Ilaiitie roaa Home Fir.
Flies cause, lu New York City alone,
about C.V) deaths from typhoid fever
and about 7,000 deaths yearly from oth
er diseases. Last year a fly was cap
tured on South street. In New York
(not far from one of the city's biggest
meat and fish markets), that was found
to bo carrying lu his mouth and on bla
legs more than one hundred thousand
disease bacteria. Flies walk over de
caying and fetid matter, for which they
have a natural affinity, and then, enter
ing meat markets and homes, travel
over the food, explore the milk pitcher,
and also light directly on the skin of
the householders. Success Magazine,
The Troth About Serpents.
It lias been discovered that our snake
sense Increases with snake knowledge,
As a matter of fact, the creatures do
not sting with their tongues, nor do
they charm birds or people. They do
not chase and attack persons without
provocation, for the reason that they
do not seek man as food and have ab
solutely no use for him In any way,
except that of asking to be let alone.
Of course snakes have been known to
attack Innooent persons, but even then
It Is said that fear of the aggressor
makes the reptile take the defensive,
Chl'dren take the place of a fad with
women. A woman who has no children
UH i? have a fad of some kind,
?. A BUDDHIST FRAYING WHEEL.
1" rjsv ,'-v
1 V I !' I
"i - -
if &t
viv nv; vi v V 1 . m r
BUDDHIST ritlEST USES A gUEKIt MACHINE TO FACILITATE DE
VOTIONS. A praying wheel used by Buddhists coiisibts of n cylinder In which are
arranged, one on top of the other, sheets of paicr on which the formula,
"Om manl pndme hum," Is printed In flno characters. The sheets must be
wound on the axis from left to right, and the wheel when set In motion
must revolve in the opposite way, so that the writing passes In front of the
person turning the wheel in the way in which it Is rend that Is, from left
to right If made to revolve from right to left It Is held to be sacrilegious.
London Sphere. I
A teacher in a New York public
school where the pupils are meetly for
dmera never tok much notice Of the
boy until she discovered that there was
a lot of fun hidden behind his quiet
demure face. What happened then she
tells in the Sun i
In tba English work I often give my
pupils half of a story, and ask them to
finish It in their own way. I did that
yesterday.
I told them about a little girl named
Elizabeth, who started out one morn
ing with the resolve that she was going
to be as good all day long as If it were
Sunday. Her Sunday school teacher
bad told her that little girls should he
have as if every day were Suuday, not
pat on their kind and polite manners
only when they put on their Suuday
dresses. So when Elizabeth put on her
school dress, she resolved that she was
going to be very good all day.
She had not gone very far only to
the first corner when sho saw another
little girl standing there, crying.
That Is where I left the story for
them to finish. They were to tell what
piliabeth did. This is the way the
most serious boy in school completed
the plot :
"Elizabeth saw the little girl crying,
so she went up to her and asked her
Ivhat was the matter.
14 'I had two quartera,' sobbed the lit
tle girl, 'and a big boy took one of them
away !'
" 'Oh, that Is too bad!' said Elizabeth.
What did you do?'
'"Oh, I cried, "Help! Help V Just
like that said the little girl.
" 'Why, is that all the loud you called
itr exclaimed Elizabeth.
" Tea,' replied the little girl. 'I have
a bad cold, and can't call any louder
than that'
"So Elizabeth took the other quarter
away from her."
SUH PUZZLES ASTRONOMERS.
forever Hidden from View What
We lee la a Shell.
The great ball of fire which wt call
the sun Is not really the sun. No'oue
has ever seen tba sun. A series of con
centric shells envelop a nucleus of
which we know absolutely nottilng ex
cept that It must be almost Infinitely
hotter than the fiercest furnace, and
that it must amount to more than nine
tenths of the solar mass, according to
a writer in Harper's Magazine. That
nucleus is the real sun, forever hidden
from us. The outermost of the envel
oping shells Is about 3,000 miles thick,
and Is called the "chromosphere." It
is a gaseous flood, tinted with the scar
let glare of hydrogen, and so furiously
active that it spurts up great tongues
of glowing gas ("prominences") to a
height of thousands of miles. Time was
when this agitated sea of crimson fire
could be seen to advantage only during
an eclipse; now special Instruments are
used which enable astronomers to study
it In the full glare of the sun. Beyond
the chromosphere, far beyond the prom
inences even, lies the nebulous pallid
"corona," visible only during tbo van
ishing moments of a total eclipse, aggre
gating not more than seven days In a
century. No ono has ever satisfactorily
explained how the highly attenuated
matter composing both the prominences
and the corona Is supported without
falling back into the sun under tho pull
of solar gravitation. Now that Arr-
henlus has cosmlcnlly applied the ef
foots of light pressure a solution Is
presented.
How difficult It Is to account for such
delicate streamers as the "prominences"
on the sun is better comprehended when
we fully understand bow relentlessly
powerful Is the grip of solar gravlta
tlon. If the sun were a habitable globe
and you could transport yourself to Its
surface, you would find yourself pulled
down so forcibly by gravitation that
you would weigh two tons, assuming
that you are an ordinary human being.
Your clothing alone would weigh more
than one hundred pounds. Baseball
govli be !sjcd lu a juiar. irawU
JT . -i I a h k - Vfci "'
room, for there would be some difficulty
In throwing a ball more than thirty
reet. Tennis would be degraded to a
form of outdoor nlnar-nonc. From these
considerations it Is plain that gravita
tion on the sun would tend to prevent
the formation of any lambent stream
ers and to pull down to Its surface
masses of any size.
APPARENT CONTRADICTION.
Drlarht Coloring, Bold Pattern, Make
Wild Thlaar Inooaaplcnoan.
Whence came that old erroneous as
sumption that bright-colored creatures
and those with bold, sharp patterns, are
of course conspicuous lu tholr homes?
Did people Judge the outdoor world by
colorless collecting boxes, or the pos
tered walls of a museum? The real
out-door world Is a boundless varied
pageant of ever-shifting lights and
forms and colore, cut up Into Innumer
able bolder or dimmer patterns of all
kinds and sizes, dancing and altering
In endless kaleidoscopic show with the
play of wind and sun nnd clouds, says a
writer In the Century Magazine. This
vivid changefulness of Beenery has, like
everything else, Its maximum and min
imum, and, as we have seen in connec
tion with tropical forests, the extremes
are In this case rather wide apart But
we are to consider It as a general prln
clple, with special regard to Its max!
mum development Against one of
these brilliantly and minutely patchy
backgrounds bow ought an animal be
colored and marked In order to ho as
inconspicuous as possible? Plainly and
dully, as naturalists have said? By no
means; brightly and patchlly, to the
highest possible degree. The bolder,
brighter and more arbitrary such a
creature's patterns ore the more they
will cut up his own peculiar and char
acteristic form and dissolve him Into
his background, as It were. Conversely,
the only coloration which could make
such an animal conspicuous is a dull
monochrome, without counter-shading
or pattern" This would make his solid
form apparent by Its light nnd shade,
or his peculiar outline by its unbroken,
dingy color. Monochrome alone niakes
a solid object Intrinsically conspicuous
against a normal landscape. Patterns,
contrary to the common opinion, have
an intrinsic power to destroy the con
splcuousness of the object on which
they are placed. The stronger the pat
tern appears tho dimmer appear the
forms and outlines of Its wearer.
Ink.
Ink Is a substance used to conceal
thought. In color It Is often brilliant;
in effect, dull. It Is extensively used
to spread rumors, convey scandals to
distant jMiluts, and to statu careers. A
little of It therefore goes n long way.
Ink comes in all shapes and sizes. II
may be thick or thin, but, though It Ii
sticky, It never sticks to any one long.
Without It there would be no best sell
ers. It has hurt real literature nion
than nny other product. It has been
said that Truth lies at the bottom of 1
well but this was not an Ink-well.
There Is no cure for ink. It has been
locked up lu dark closets. It has been
sent to Jail. It has been confined to
hard labor in tho works of professional
humorists and penned In countless
ways. It has served many a Henry
James sentence, nnd slept In a congres
sional speech. But In new shapes It
always reappears. It cannot be blotted
out. It makes its royal way, with un
numbered pages to wait on It, down tho
column rules of time; and though cast
aside nnd forgotten, it always has plen
ty of margin to spare. Success Maga
zine. t o to Date.
"Step up, gents!" cried the street
faker with the big telescope, "an take a
view o' the big comet."
"Here!" Indignantly cried a man who
had paid his nickel and hud a peep,
"that's only a star; it has no tall to it
at all."
"(Vrtalnly not." said the fnkcr; "this
la a modern tallies comet." Philadel
phia Press.
There ought to be a law against thi
fool who has 110 merit except that be
pi cans Tvull
ooooooooooooooooooooeoo
r a sr f a tv t w in tr - r-
AuvtiuKWUr' g
LITTLE WILLIE, g
O
o He Tire of His School Bookt o
Run Away from Home in aag
Attempt to Become famous, o
80OOO0O0O0O0OOO00OOOO08
MONDAY.
Oee it betes the dlken how a feller
has ter go ter school all the time. I
wlsht that I was big like Flten bob
evens an kud go off on battle ships to
pin sea an kud see sites. I bet the girls
wudent laf at me then an titter when
1 kim bak with models an things.
this gografy lessen Is awfel
hard an the teacher Is cros today to
me tu bekauz I dldent know my other
lessens for I set up late las nlte rendln
robefton kruo.
but this Is to be my las day In skule
"THIS I-ESK.t IS AWrtX nABD.
anyhow. 1 gea they wll wlsht they had
ben respecktfel ter me when they here
how I her got up In the world after
awhycl an am rich an own lots of
houzez. 1 am off termorrer fer nevadu
tu get rich dlgen gold. 1 hev bin watch
eu a car bcln lodcd to go to slrtzona
an I kin walk the rest of the way.
TUESDAY1.
I must her kum an awfel ways last
nlte in this car for it bumped around
al nlte. its kold in here but there Is
some straw around the boxes so 1 ges
1 kan keie warm for 1 her my mind
maid up tu stick it out
but etln' cold sauseg an' bred ain't
"ETIlt' COLD BAUSSQ AH' BUD.''
what It's kracked up tu bee. 1 wud
glv wun of my fore quarters fer a drink
of water but I ges 1 kin stand it awbyel
yet
1 got to thlnken that if I hhud die
for want of water the kids st skule
wud fele purty bad an' maybe susen
Evens wud put the wrethe I glv, ler
for Krlstmes on my grav an' maybe
they wud fire off a salut over my grav
thlnkln' that 1 dlde gnme an' with my
butes on ss the feller who kot killed
by Dik of Egle Pas did.
It must be an awfel long ways tu
slrlzona. .
T ani niltey tired setln down tu.
WEDNESDAY.
If I bed knowd that the car waz
bein bumped al round the raleroad
yards i wud not hev gone thursty al
day an nlte. when I got out at last I
found that 1 uz rite here at home al-
"I YIXO I WUZ CBAZEY."
most only way oft in enother end of
town.
uiy sauseg an bredu bed glv out, so
1 went out begun an kum tu a nice
hous. the ladey who kum tu the dure
sod she pltyed me nn tuU mo inside
an glv me lots tu etc. she kept talken
tu me an sed 1 waz much Ilk her boy
who growd up an had gone off.
she glr mo pie an kake an say It waz
pudin tu goln tu sUute. but after
awhyel I herd some one talken to some
body else lu the next rum. then the
ladey went out nn I herd her say Yes
ollislr be luks like the plkshur of the
boy In the paper who run off.
when the cop Uiiin in I reuibered
what tho Ole slutli did wunst an 1 ye!
I waz crir.ey from a !tfg usyluiu an
pertcrided tu hav a fit an the ladey
fan ted an the cop run tu 1st nn I es
kaped. TliritSIUY.
I walkt ill Lite but from what the
peplc sea I ain't no wher nere nlrizoim.
I kum tu n mllkmar.vs hous this morn
ing nn imUt for wurk, he i,kt what I
klu do an i wx tiny kind uf honest toll
that nr.; 10--Maliel an I10 put lue ot
wurk fedin kowz.
I i'ver did lik kowz much, they are
al rltt In summer tu luk at. but I nev-
' WTV
that I ernel my tfaley bred today, f
wurked had ennf.
the milkman has a nice dauter. 1!
tola her wuast today that I expect to!
be a King or soniethin' some day. 1 tolej
her I expected to go al round the wurldl
some day an she buged out her eyes.
1 found a button In ono nnbet that!
fcusen glv me las weko an beleren her
flkel tu my lore glT It to this girl.
tole her that she Is a dreme an thafj
"I EXMCCT TO BR A KI?tO BOMS DAT."
she wud luk wel In a manshun Ilk mine).
is tu he an arter super she glv me
two doughnuts. 1 ete wun. the other
Is for my plller tu slepe on.
tho boss drove me to bed at T oklocfc.
the life of some wurken men Is hard.
FRIDAY,
the boss made me gtt up way In tha
nlte We had got to town with tha
wagon I was on before Owl cars wbj
runen, it was cold nn krepy. 1 kinder
wlsht that I kud go tu skule agen bui
I dident let on tho. I know Egle Pet
always kept a stiff upper Up.
the milkman stopt often at places
wher he went Inside. Wunst a bumv
kum up tu the wagon an askt for mllkl
I tole him that 1 waz a brave man
altho small an he la fed but he was
bluft al rite but I was skared al rite,
flnelly we kum nere our hous. buf
"l Dsn THE DOQ TO THE WAQUW."
we dont take milk of the man 1 wurked
for so 1 wasent much skared.
but we kum tu Susen evens hous and!
1 tole the boss be, waz cold an 1 wud
tak the milk In. 1 waz In hopes Susen
mite know It was me. 1 homered tha
bak dore. I maid a big raket
flnelly i herd sum wun say now git
him Towser. I run. 1 beta the do$
to the wagon, the. boss was aslepe:
the horses got skared at the dog ancj
run. the boss fell out the horses run
a long ways, when they stopt 1 crawl
ed from under the wrek an run thru a
park. j ..
SATURDAY. ,":
m
its purty bard to bar the pollse on
yer trak. al morning i dodged them,
one big cop got me. but 1 tole him that;
i wurked rite around the corner an kud,
prove it the bluf worked, but my.
heart was In my mouth. j
I tried for wurk at several plases
HS WASNT EZET.'
1 kudent get a ob. every thing lukt!
dark tu me.
finally 1 destded to walk past our
hous In the alley. 1 figured the kuk;
mite se roe. I Jist wanted her tu let
the folks know i kud live without there
vlttels.
I walkt past the hous twice, nobody,
seuied to notes me. 1 was Just goln
around the korner to grosery when I
run rite Into pa. he wasn't ezey be
kaus we wuz In the strete. he was
wurse than olo everet True ever will
get.
when I got In th hous 1 was put In
the bath tub an wtisht thre tunes wuna
with hot water an twice with cold.;
even the dog growld at me. at the,
supper tahel the folks were quiet I
felt like an outknst. but after I hed'
gone tu bed mother kum up an put
her nrmz around mo an we talkt It
over an I ges everything Is square now
an I tun goln tu church tomorrer.
Cincinnati Post.
Very Saararlooa.
A farmer had a very sagacious dog
which ho had trained to count his
sheep as they passed through a partic
ular ofened gate, ugatnst which a pile
of stones were placed for the dog's use.
As each sheep passed through tho dog
placed one of the stones aside. One
day, much to the farmer's surprise, be
found the dog trying to break a stone
In half, and on himself counting the
flock he found there had been an ad
dition In tho night of a lamb.
311
VyA '
The OcvaKloa for It.
' "lie says he uever prayed in all bis 1
life." "
"What a monotonous existence! Ap- j
pnrently he bus never been in a tight I
place." The Catholic Standard and i
4 TluiCi ' J
