Dakota County herald. (Dakota City, Neb.) 1891-1965, August 09, 1907, Image 2

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Dakota County Herald
DAKOTA CITY, NED.
IOHN H. REAM, Publisher.
For each hnrholnr who sigh becanc
f Is alone, fully a dozen married men
lgh because tljey are not.
Instead of trying to niond their ways
some men could gave a lot of time by
bustling for a new supply.
We hare no reason to believe that
the Lord loves a eheerful River who
advertises his charity broadcast.
Is not a man with a gun and a dis
position to use It a more real and ef
fective "mortician" than an under
taker!
If mosquitoes have any reasoning
ppwer, they ought to feel grateful to
the woman who Invented the ieeU-a
boo shirt waist
Mr. John D. Rockefeller's 83." fine
far scorch! mr seems to have been paid
tit of his own pocket, contrary to the
expectations of the oil consumers.
Philadelphia clergymen have started'
controversy over the question wheth
er a hen "sits" or "seta" They mlgh
compromise by using an Incubator.
Thomas A. Edison says that elec
tricity 1 more of a mystery to him
maw than ever. It seems to be a case
where mystery and mastery go hand In
fcaniL
Aunt Carrie Nation continues to get
Istrself arrested for disturbing the calm
gwsoefulness of some saloon. If the
woomn had a bit of originality she
would try some new stunt
1 "Inquirer :" There Is no evidence
to show that Senator Philander Knox
was named In honor of the late Q. K.
Philander Doestlcks, P. B. Don't both
r un with trivial questions like that
"Ortmjnals," says the St Paul Dis
patch, "are having too much rope in
this country." There Is a rapidly
spreading belief that criminals are not
getting enough rope In this country,
A Shamokln (Pa.) miner who com
plained that some men were trying to
force f 1,000,000 of tainted money on
film waa declared Insane without the
formality of Impaneling a Jury. Noth
tag like saving time Jn a case of that
kind.
A Pittsburg, man killed himself to
void the necessity of paying a doctor's
kill. The, doctor may have the satis
faction of being able to make It appear
that be might have effected a cure If
be had been given the right kind of a
chance.
Henry G. Davis is telling his friends
that be has no intention for running
for the vice presidency next year. " He
wishes, however, to have Jt distinctly
understood that be is not going to keep
out of the race on account of bis age,
We can assure him that nobody would
(have guessed that as the cause of bis
refusal to run.
In its early years the nineteenth cen
twry, as ir zealous to make a name
for Itself, was very active In bringing
great men and great deeds Into the
world. Among the many centenaries
which we will be ' celebrating every
month or two, we should not forget
Indeed, we have forgotten for three
months the abolition of the slave
trade In England In March, 1807. This
was one of the great acts of the Green
ville ministry. The other was an act
of spiritual- liberation, the effort to es
tablish religious equality by allowing
Roman Catholic officers to serve In the
British army. ' y
To some the most restful kind of ro.
taxation Is to turn from one form of
mental or physical activity to another,
bringing Into play a new set of facnl
ties or muscles. The man who has
pent his working day over law books
or ledgers will take up with' delight the
clasnlcs or some branch of natural hi
tory or will enter upon the study
languages or literature. There vis r
doubt that the highest form of recrea
tlon Is found In such ways, because
while they furnish rest and refresh
mont they at the same time widen one
intellectual range and promote grow
In new directions.
tb
It has been declared by a lecturer to
the Mothers' Club of New York City
that tne official eagle of this country,
as shown in authorised designs. Is fe
male. The proof offered Is the white
tufts of feathers on head and breast
and the fact that the female eagle Is
larger and stronger than tho male,
Nevertheless, moat persons think of the
metaphorical bird as a male. Ornl
thologlsts say that the conventional de
sign does not Indicate the sex, and the
law Is plain. In the description of the
seal accepted by the Continental Con
gress. June 20, 1782. the pronoun "hla"
la used three times with reference to
he bird.
The old saying that what Is one
tnau's meat Is another man's poison Is
part;cu!arly applicable to mankind's
Idea' of pleasure, and one has but to
listen to the plans of vacation seekers
to realise how numerous and how di
versified are the primrose paths of dal
liance. Travel Is one man bliss and
another man's liorror; a iorcu and an
asy chair Is the quintessence of com
fort to one pleasure seeker and the
cine of dreariness to another. A sum
mer hotel and unlimited white flannel
make up the ideal of luxury that one
acatJonUt aspires to, while his friend
Seeks regions where hotels ami white
'flannels ar. alike unknown. A flailing
rod In the Hvuiltol of arthly delight to
one mau and the rod of cb-.ts lHcutent
to another, while a golf stick way be
an eucbamer's wand or the scepter of
the evil one. Women, too, dlfftr lde
ly In their standard of summe Joys.
"My Idea of a summer vacatWn." said
ne woman, "is to go where I shall
caver feel the touch of gloves, veils or
bat pins," while licr friend 5elar?d'
that to her aa Ideal rummer mesnt an
unlimited supply of these articles. It
Is well, as has been tritely observed.
that "people don't nil think alike," else
the hotel porches could not be made
large enough, and there would not be
enough white flannel and golf n'Mka to
go around.
President Ang.'ll, of the t'nhvrsltj
of Michigan, referred tm other day to
the better and more practical Instruc
tion that the colleges were giving to
day to their students In political sci
ence. The intercut or the students in
govern. nental and administrative ques
tions Is certainly deeir and more en
lightened than ever, and certain recent
developments In thctf lines of study
are as significant as they are gratify
ing. According to noine editorial ol-
servatlons In the Outlook, In most col
leges civic or kood j"ovornincnt clubs
have been formed for tho purpose of
promoting scientific and practical study
of national, state and municipal prob
lems and keeping (b-iii Informed of
current tendencies, struggles, reform
movements and experimental remedies.
As our contemporary well s:iys: ."In
terest among students can be most
quickly evoked, not through booku, but,
first, by lectures and papers from those
In first-hand touch with municipal In
terests, and, second, by requiring the
students to begin some actual connec
tion with municipal affairs." The col
lege civic clubs owe their existence to
this feeling and to the need of con
tact with reality. A further step was
taken when some twenty of these clubs
banded together Into an Intercollegiate
Civic League, whose function It to
procure papers for the clults, stimulate
discussion, carry on an active corre
spondence, start clubs where ,thfcy do
not aa yet exist and bring tuetn all
Into affiliation with Itself. A n amber
of papers by well-known writers and
workers have been secured by the
league and printed In the col lege pa
pers. They bave dealt with sucE ques
tions as municipal franchises, graft and
how to fight It machines and popular
rule, etc. Among the contributors have
been Dr. . Lyman Abbott Jacob HI la,
William Kent of Chicago, Dr. Lindsay,
of the Federal Child Labor Commit
tee, and the solicitor for the Depart
ment of State, Mr. Scott Such activi
ties and methods are the result of the
Improved instruction that Is now given
In the colleges on problems of politics
and government, and they will In turn
react on such Instruction and tend to
improve It still further.
She was a sweet old lady, but afrala
of the confusion of the busy street
As she hesitated, the boy came up.
He took off bis cap and smiled.
"Let me help you?" ho said.
With the feeble old arm In his, be led
her safely over. It cost him only a
minute and a little thought
It was a tribute that youth owes to
age. . -
It was simple kindness.
It was thoughtfulnesa, and, of course,
politeness, because politeness Is noth
ing but consideration and tboughtful
ness of other people.
It was sympathy. The fooling that
made the boy want to be of some serv
ico to the old lady was tho same feel
ing that makes evry one of us who has
a heart and Is not ashamed of It want
ti help everybody who la down or In
trouble or uuabl to help themselves.
And It was chivalry toward woman
kind. We all possess that some of it
It Is such a tremendous pity, Isn't It,
that we ae growing so selfish that
we haven't always timo to bo cour
teous? There are still places In big,
busy America where men take off their
hats in public elevators when women
are present. Foolish? Perhaps. But
the spirit that prompts It Isn't foolish.
It Is only a survival of that world-old
feeling that every(man owes all respect
to every woman.
When the boy helped th old lady be
not ouly assisted her and himself did
a kind act, but he furnished a lesson
to a whole world full of people. Cin
cinnati Post.
I Sentenced lo T!.e Haifa.
Judge Fiedler in a Cleveland police
court has sentenced n mau to n year
and a half of cleanliness. John Aril,
arrested for neglecting his four small
children, hasn't taken a bath in ten
yea i a, Iluinauo Officer I'oolo told the
Judge.
"I luive arrested blm on almost every
minor charge," said the officer, "and
have tried for ten years to make him
keep clean."
"I'nwushed for ten years, eb?" com
mented the court. "I'll fix Mm so he
won't lie dirty for a long time. I shall
send you to the workhouse with In
structions to the suiierlnteudent to
keep you there eighteen months and
put you to light labor and huve you
scrubbed twice a duy during your in
carceration." You can pralw one mau to another
without offense, providing the oue who
Is praised is dead.
S Help an Old Lady
Accross the Street I
2? Wv. j f'i VP Aw
1 . . i.r
If, in the pursuit of your life's voca
tion, you had seen five men drop from
your side at a dizzy height to a terrible
death far below, would you continue In
that vocation? If you did jK'rslst lu It,
would you have sufficient confidence in
yourself to retain your "nerve" under
all circumstances for thirty-five years?
That has been a brief part of the
many exciting exerlcnceB lu the life
of II. F. ("Itlsky") Kvans, one of the
most daring of the few famous "steeple
jacks" who risk death and like It
"Itlsky" Evans Is now 49 years old.
lie has a wife and a son and daughter
grown almost to manhood and woman
hood. He has a profitable business
which be can pursue without the risks
to be run by steeple climbing. But
risks bave been the essence of bis life
since be was a boy. He has climbed
steeples aud buildings all over Ameri
ca and has done some climbing In Eng
land as well. No better fun for
"Risky" than to be clinging, In a
boatswain's chair, by slings or by bis
bare bands and feet, high in the air,
with the blue sky beckoning to him,
with absolute confidence in himself and
bis ability to bang on to the merest
projection.
"Risky" Evans Is a type of the dare
devils that are growing scarcer each
year. The Inventions of modern times
have eliminated much of the necessity
for risk which was run in necessary
climbing of steeples and high buildings
In the earlier days. He himself has
been one of the foremost In making the
business of those who must work at
high altitudes as safe and as easy as
if they had solid ground beneath their
feet But still, every once In a while,
"Itlsky" finds It necessary to go to a
great height to carry up a rope on
which to swing a scaffold or to attach
block and pulley, that his men, less
versed In the art of climbing, may per
form their duties with safety. There
are plenty of men who work at great
heights as nonchalantly as does the av
erage person on the ground. Practical
ly any painter must be cool-headed
enough to go hundreds of feet In the
air without a tremor. Carpenters, ma
sons and other builders must have the
same contempt for the dizziness that
affects the average person who looks
down from a great height. But even
the work of such men as these pales
before the accomplishments of the few
left In the country of the caliber of
"Itlsky" Evans.
On, a wager be once climbed at night
without ropes, ladders or any other
paraphernalia, the -:eeple of St. Jo
seph's Church In Cincinnati, stood
erect on the topmost part of the cross
surmounting the steeple, set fire to two
newspapers he had carried with him
'it, his pocket, and dropped them, blaz
ing, on either Bide of the steeple, to
prove to the man with whom he had
mad the wager that he was at the
top of the steeple. The wager was for
$50 and the tme allotted him to ac
complish the feat was half an hour.
"Itlsky" Evaus' first real experience
at any great height from the earth was
In the early '70a. He waa a boy who
loved all sorts of adventures. A bal
loonlst of then national reputation
came to tho city which was "Rlsky's"
home. He needed some one to go with
the baloon, lu which he was taking up
several passengers, to go down tho rope
on which was fastened the anchor to
make it fast when a landing waa made.
This was to "ltlsky's" liking. He took
the Job. When tho "professor" wanted
to land "Itlsky" was hoisted over the
side of tho car. Down the swinging
rope he slid, legs grtpied tight around
It, hand over band.
"When I got to the end of the rope
and sat down a-straddlo of the anchor
I felt pretty good," Evans said In tell
ing the story. "Then I began to watch
for a treetop to grab the anemvr in
We went through oue or two, and I
had my clothes torn Into shreds and
got all scratched up. But I hung on,
and finally got the anchor around a
limb, signaled to the 'professor,' aud
the landing was made."
In an Eastern city Evans was paint
Jng a church steeple, when suddeuly,
out of a clear sky, an electric storm
broke over the city. The steeple was
THE EVOLUTION
Jiff
equipped with lightning rods, and as
the electricity played about him, ao
companlcd by crashing thunder, sound
ing louder Itecuuse of ills elevated po
sition. "Risky" thought that his last
lour had Mirdv come. To odd to the
danger the sudden downpour of rain
hnd niiide the ropes holding bis chair
so stiff that he scarcely could undo
them In order to let himself down.
Finally he succeeded In getting his
roie loose nd swung clear of his dan
gerous position.
Au uncomfortable accident occurred
while Evans was working on the
steeple of Trinity Church lu New Tork.
"Fretichy," the man who was after
ward killed, was with him. They had
rigged up a chair to which were at
tached ropes by means of which they
could let themselves out of their
perches onto tho roof of the steeple
and thus climb down to the gable,
through which they came out of the
ttelfry. One end of the rope was kept
knotted, to hold it In the chair. After
"Frenchy" had gone down one evening
after work he undid the knot and the
rope slipped through, leaving "RRiky"
marooned at the top of the steeple,
with no way of getting down other
than Jumping.
He was compelled to remain on the
steep! ( all night, and when an effort
was made to rescue him early In the
morning a new trouble was encoun- "
,fered. He had no rope nor string to let '
down that a line sufficiently strong to
bear a rope could be raised. Finally he
cut off the sleeves of his Jacket arid
tore them In strips. Those he tied to
gether and let the Improvised rope
down to the gable, where his would-be'
rescuer was waiting far him.
A strong wind was Mowing, and the '
fragile rope sung In the wind far out
from the stet-ple. Finally "RHky" tied
a bunch of keys and a penknife to the
end of the string and succeeded In get-
ting It where It could be reached. The !
rest-was easy, and be was soon tucked
safely In bed.
MASKED FISH Iff THE SEA.
Thooaaads Caoarbi, Nan bored mmt
Pot Back la ttrMUk Cbaaael.
Etching fish, measuring and mark
ing them and then returning them to
the sea with the chance of retaking
them later la 'part of the work carried
on by the Marine Biological Associa
tion of Grmt Britain.
By menus of a steam trawler the
flsh are caught In the usual way. Each
haul Is carefully recorded, tho flsh are
counted and measured and all details
of locality, time, number, species, sex
ami size are put down, together with
accurate observations on the water, the
depth and bottom of the sen, the kinds
and quantity of food available, etc.
These data are subsequently tabulated
and charted. . '
The method of marking the fish Is
Interesting and has been attended with
valuuble results. The flsh chiefly used
during the few years the experiment
has been in progress bave been plaice,
liecauno the proposals which have been
made to interfere with the catching of
them were based on Inadequate knowl
edge. The flsh are marked on the dorsal
surface with a very tliln convex met
al disk bearing a number. This Is at-'
tacbed to a fine silver wire which Is
passed through the thinner part of the
fish near the fin and secured on the un
per side by a small isine button. Tha
flsh do not appear to suffer Inconven
ience and their growth is not inter
fered with In any way.
The thoroughness with which the
North Sea Is swept by the nets of the
fishing fleets Is demonstrated, says Dis
covery, by the fact that out of 5,0;i9
marked plaice of all sizes W2 were re
captured within a year. This repre
sents 10.7 jht cent, or nearly one-fifth ;
but for the medium-sized fish the fig
ures are far higher, ranging from 28.-1
to 39 per cent for the whole of the
North Sea and to 43 per cent In the
more northern portions.
Tho men of the regular fishing fleet
co-operate by forwarding to tho labora
tory of the association at Lowestoft all
the marked tlsh they catch. At the lab
oratory reference to the record easily
establishes bow much the flsh has gain
ed In size and weight since, the previ
ous catching. Moreover, the distance
between the spot where It was released
and the place where It was ngahf
caught gives an Idea as to Its move
ments. Nut Posted.
"Hands up!" said the footpad.
"And If I refuse?" quelled the be
lated jiedestrlun.
"Well, lu that case." resumed the
footpad, "I can only say that you don't
know the rules of the game. I decllnui
to negotiate with one so grossly Ignor
ant. Good night, sir." Philadelphia
Ledger.
The Kuieraia Ile.
Ireland Is called the Emerald Isle
IsH'uuue of the richness of Its verdure,
the term being first used by Dr. Wil
liam Drennan, the author of "Glendal
loch" ami other poems, published In the
latter part of the eighteenth century.
It's a brave man who will marry a
twin.
OF AN ACTOB.
GETTING THERE.
Dunno how the world will go
Whether rlpht or wrong;
But ain't it just enough to know
It's goln' right along?
An' b the weather dark or fair,
Forevermore it's getting there I
The summer's roses fade away,
An' sad seems plain an' hill;
But even the bleakest winter day
Dreams of the roses stUI.
An' sunny day or tempest drear.
The world's forever getting there I
Atlanta Constitution.
J bHINli F.i An T ALUM Jj
When Peter Svendfen, dealer In geu
eral merchandise, lu the little Danish
town of Itoskildc, entered his office In
the morning his clerk handed blm n
cablegram from New York.
Now in Rvendsen's business cable
grams were few ami far between, so be
nervously turned the yellow envelope
several times between his fingers and
read the address twice before he open
ed the message. But when he did and
saw the few words It contained, his
kind old face beamed with joy so that
the clerk Immediately felt sure that
now was his chance n sk for a raise,
Which be promptly did with gratifying
result :
The cablegram read :
"Am coming with Christmas boat,
bringing Mary along! George."
So swiftly hod old Svendsen never
run' up the stairs to his apartments
above the store and nearly losing his
slippers he rushed through all the
rooms, shouting, "George Is coming
with the Christmas boat"
aitaiA
Mrs. Svendsen, who was putting up
the lunch for her 11-year-old by, Peter,
came running In from the kitchen. Pe
ter forgot all about 9 o'clock and school
and stood staring at his father with
open mouth. Peeping through the
kitchen door stood Ane, the girl of all
work, whose joy was almdet as great
as the members of the family.
Old Peter Svendsen danced around
the dining room, like a Sioux Indian on
the warpath, swinging the cablegram
alma's asms were abound bis keck.
above bis heud, until he at last, ex
hausted, fell down in the armchair
in the moment when a young girl,
blushing like a rose, came running and
snatched'the message from his hand.
Her eyes filled with tears of Joy, and
her heart beat like a trip hammer as
she too took up the refrain: "George
Is coming with the Christmas boat"
But suddenly her expression changed
and her voice almost failed her as she
said: "He Is bringing Mary along."
"Yes, he Is bringing Mary," Svendsen
repeated. He was still overjoyed.
"But who Is Mary?" Mrs. Svendsen
asked, looking from her husband to her
niece, the little Miss Alma, who was
still staring at the cablegram.
"Well, I am sure I don't know,"
Svendsen said. "Perhaps his wife, per
haps bis sweetheart perhaps some ne
gro girl he has bought In New York,
One can't tell, but we shall find out
soon enough when he Is here."
"Yes, of course," said Mrs. Svendsen,
"but it seeuis rather strange; he'has
never written of her before."
"Of course be hasn't," old Svendsen
replied, "don t you see lie wants to
surprise us."
Every morning and evening they
looked In the papers for news of the
boat and In the morning the day be
fore Christmas it was reported passing
Elslnore.
In the evening ns the church bells
chimed aud every one lu the little town
was hurrying to the cathedral, hymn
book In hand, George Svendsen arrived
In his native town, which he had not
seen for four years.
"I call that to be on time," cried old
Svendsen, as he clasped bis big, strong,
handsome boy In bis anna. "I suppose
you are a real Yankee now, but I hope
you have not forgotten how to speak
Danish."
"You bet your life, father, I talk
Danish as well as ever."
And he did talk Danish, and bad to
talk Danish to every one he met on the
way from the station to his old home,
When he came In and found his own
room just as he had left It the old
Iron bed, the ship on the wardrob?,
and grandma's portrait on th? wall
be came near crying with Joy, big fel
low though !)' was.
And thou t;.ej s:it d-iwr, to the rice
porridge wl,H' ' !-- hidden u'-nond, the
roast gvS)s; id -iti) npples aud
prune nd he n-usi them to stop
asking so j-iaii.v iiti.'-ti.", hut be might
get a little time to enjoy bis dinner, but
they did not give him time. Only
Alma sat silent, walling for the word
which was to solve the great riddle
which tore at her very heartstrings.
But the word did not come. Just as
dinner was over the door bell rang and
old Nells, the only expressman In town,
began to carry up boxes and trunks,
one after the other.
George told where everything was to
go, inlxlug English words into bis Dan
Ish every little while. He got hammer
and nail pullers snd then the surprises
began to come.
He ran back and forth between his
room and the dining room, where stood
,tb Christmas tree, and every moment
ROMAN'S INHUMANITY TO W0MAJ7.
V ' o - ; iTi f
. v .yvy
JfUET V. 8TRAI RS.
does. ! . ,
I think my friend may take courage to follow his noso a little longer In.
this vale of tears, If the open taunt and iKtld Jeer Is all 1m? has to deal with.
If he were a woman and obliged to cope with woman's troncherous warfare
he might be obliged to know that venom lies hidden in tho most honeyed
Hiieoch, and that the very friend who called his nose a "perfect love" to his
face was quite likely to refer to tho self-same member as an unmitigated pro
boscis to the very next friend she met.
It Is a sad fact that insincerity is woman's prerogative, poor thing; we
ore forced to It however, and most of It Is due to our husbands, after nil.
Did you ever see a man who, when the least little bit of "doublo-facednoss"'
was required, would not sneak away and leave his wife to get through with It
as best she might? A man Invariably scolds his wife for every little bit of
sincerity that crops out In her, no doubt because he wants the pleasure of
Insulting the neighbors himself and wishes her to be ready to throw herself
Into the breach with some little bit of acting or lying that will atone for hls
own Indulgence in that rude truth, which we all profess to like, but which we
avoid as much as possible
After viewing the matter Impaftlnlly, I believe thnt man's Inhumanity to
man Is a milder type than either woman's Inhumanity to woman or woman's
Inhumanity to man.
one heard, "Oh, thank you, George 1
Isn't that lovely! Oh, it's too much!
How could you carry all that along?
Is there more yet?"
"Oh, but that is funny," Teter ex
claimed. He had got a man in an
automobile that ran around the floor.
"The beat of all comes later. I must
get that from the depot myself."
And before they knew It he waa out
of the door. The members of the fam
ily stared at one another. Alma look
ed sad and worried.
"There be Is gone before one has hod
a chance to talk a word with him," old
Svendsen mumbled; "but that hi the
way those Yankees are. Always on
the go,"
"Do you think be went for Maryr
asked young Peter.
"Sure, my lad, I can't tell."
Aud then there was a long pause un
til the bell rang. Alma went down to
open the door.
It was one of the well-known letters
from America, which old Svendsen al
ways paid a crown for to the letter
carrier.
"Well, now my boy Is here himself,"
Svendsen shouted down the stair, "but
the crown is here for you all the
same."
Alma, who was the quickest to read,
had opened the letter and was study
ing It, her eyes beaming and her cheeks
blushing. Suddenly sho cried, "Now
George Is coming with Mary!" And
she laughed and danced around old
Svendsen, who did not , understand
what caused her suddetf happiness.
Just then George came In, and
Alma's arms were around his neck be
fore be bad closed the door.
He put a box on the table and be
gan to unwind the blanket in which it
was wrapped. V
Peter, who was watching him close
ly, cried:
"Why, papa, George has brought a
real, live monkey along."
"Why, didn't you know that?"
George asked in surprise.
"I Just read It In your letter," Alma
replied, blushing violently.
"But whom did you think Mary
wos?"
Alma turned away her face and old
Svendsen said with a smile:
"Somebody thought she was your
wife."
"No; a wife I expect to take back
with me from here if she will have
me."
What more George said is of little
Importance, but he and Alma ore to be
married next month. Philadelphia
Bulletin.
WreaUlnar for Exerrlae. -
Wrestling, the "mlcrocosmos of
gj'mnnstlcs," Is a One form of bodily
exercise for those who enjoy hard mus
cular work after the tedious business
hours of the day and may lie prao
tip(.(i adapting it to circumstances
by the man of a ripe age as well as by
the boy of ten or twelve, especially the
form known In this country ns catch-as-catch-ean
(which Is about Identical
to one form of Swiss wrestling). I ex
changed the Greclo-Roman (or German
gymnastic) style for this one about
twelve years ago, and I was then over
forty years old. and still enjoy It much
If my opiionent Is of my own weight
or a little lighter and if It is deprived
of Its potential roughness by a gentle
manly spirit of the partners. New
York Medical Journal.
A Tale, of Ked Tape.
Among the tab's of red tape the fol
lowing should hold n high place: M.
Roger Cavallhon. n young French gen
tleman rider, who had won his hun
dredth BtoeplecN.iw was 1r?a-n for
the conscrlpil in i.ii had stne r-
a year. He a.ei l(. :.e placvo the
cavalry," explaining v Hh due u odety
that he was not i.n.:nown as a horse
man. The military council of revision
refused the request on the ground that
as his period of service was only one
year be would not have lir.e to learn
to ride. '
Too Streauoaa.
"My son tells mo you've discharged
him." said the office boy's mother, "and
I think that's strange; you advertised
for a strong boy, aud he's certainly "
"He's too strong, madam," Interrupt
ed tho employer. "In the single day he
was here he broke all the rules of this
office and some of the furniture."
The Catholic Standard and Times.
A loafer Is pretty sure to complain If
the places he lufests are not provided
with electric fans.
When a man has a good job be
ahould taks out a tire insurance policy.
Man's humanity to man was suggested to me
as a subject for a paragraph by a gentleman who
feels that he has suffered more than his share of
tho unmerciful "chaffing" that meu give one an
other In what they term "a good-natured way."
The gentleman mcjitloned has a nose rather more
pronounced than the average, and he declares
that he has suffered untold agonies through the
jests his friends are continually making uhout
tills prominent feature.
I have always thought that the frankness of
men In speaking to each other is largely prefer
able to the hypocritical style of the, frflr sex,
and that woman's Inhumanity to woman Is far
deeper and further reachlMg than man's Inhu
manity to man in this res iect. Mankind retains
a much larger proportion of tho child In his na
ture throughout life than woman docs, and,
tliouh tho truth of children and fools cuts deep.
It does not make the rankling wound that the
Fecret thrust of sonic refined and subtle emeniy
QUEER ESKIMO CUSTOMS.
Featlral for the Dead la Held Everyf
Year Before Chrlatmaa.
The natives of the Yukon River re
gion hold n festival of the dead every
year shortly before Christmas and a
greater festival at Intervals of several
years, says the New York Tribune. At
these seasons food, drink and clothes
are provided for the returning ghosta
in the clubhouse of the village, which
Is Illuminated for the occasion with oil
lamps. Every man or woman who
wishes to honor a dead friend sets up
a lamp on a stand In front of the placei
which the dead one used to occupy in'
the clubhouse. These lamps, filled withi
seal oil, are kept burning day nndj
night until the festival is over. Theyi
are believed to light the shades on
their return to their old home and
back again to the land of the dead. If
any one falls to put up a lamp in tho
clubhouse end to keep It burning, the
shade whom he or she desires to honor
could not find its way to the place, and
so would miss the feast
When a person has been much dis
liked his ghost Is sometimes purposely
Ignored, and that is deemed the sever
est punishment that, could be inflicted
upon him. After the songs of Invita
tion to the dead have been sung the
givers of the feast takes a small por-
tlon of food from every dish and casts!
it aown as nn offerlne to tho shades
then each pours a little water on thel
noor so that It runsthrough the cracks.j
In this way they believe that the splr-i
ltual essence of all the flood and water
is conveyed to the souls. With songs
nnd dances the feast comes to an end
and the ghosts are dismissed to their
own place. The dancers dance, not
only In the clubhouse, but also at the
graves, ana on the Ice If the dead met
tneir deaths by drowning.
On the eve of the festival the near
est male relative eoes to the erave and
summons the ghost by planting there a.
small model of a seal spear or a wood-i
en dish, according as the dead was a'
mau or a woman. The totems of tha
dead are marked on these Implements.
The dead who have none to make offer
ings to them are believed to suffer
great destitution. Hence, the Eskimo
fear to die without leaving behind them
some one who will sacrifice to their
spirit, and childless people generally,
adopt children, lest their shades be for
gotten at the festival.
. WOMAN'S SENSE OF HONOR.
Her Special Code for Conduct Toward)
' Her Huaband.
A well-known American warder said
to me: "I have been in prisons for.
men and In prisons for women. Dis
cipline In the former Is child's play
compared with the latter. As soon as
a man realizes there Is no use in resist
ing he gives in. But the women, even
when we put them in strait Jackets,
always manage to extricate nt least
one finger and to agitate that In a re
bellious manner!"
In the matter of conduct toward hus
bands and consideration due to tho
"better half" there Is an especial code
of honor, says the Tall Mall Magazine.
It has the stability that sanction 'by
women of all countries gUes it, but it
does not resemble any code that man
would observe toward another man, nor
which a woman would employ toward
any human except her husband. This
code Includes the right to search pock
ets, consult notebooks, open letters,
read those already oened. It Include
the right to confound household aud
personal accounts, to uo on self the
money Intended Ic The p;:isN-r of the
) bnuK for M!"2 hills. Vhl system Is
J not f :eo,m-!'M. admitted, 'o doubt, yet
we wuvih'r one newly married
womac wio announced as n little tri
umph, "When l buy for myself some
thing I don't llko I Just sell It to the
house !"
The peculiar Indulgence wiilcu tho
conjugal state seeuis to cull for as re
gards the weaker sex In matters of
honor more or less delicate was thus
strikingly summarized by a philan
thropist accustomed to all sorts and
conditions of people. Among the poor
whom she visited there was a woman
who In a fit of rage or Jealousy had
killed a man. In relating to me tho
case the philanthropist concfvided sadly,
"Yes, she killed him, and he wasn't
even ber husband !"
Scoria.
"So your husband lost bis money ob
a race horse?"
"No," answered young Mrs. Terklns.
"He lost it on an aulmal be thought
waa a race horse." Washington Star.