iiiiiiy
RICH FLU
America
Soon. To
Supply Bulh:
of rechcra
Used Wifhin
Ifs Borters
The wise and daring Investors who
transplanted ostrich farming from Af
rlca to tlic United States are eongratu
lating themselves now. They are reap
Ing a harvest now, such as perhaps
they never dreamed of, for the plumes
of the gawky bird are at the top wave
Or popularity that has lasted ever since
ine days when Gainsliorougu painted
his world-famous beauties with huge
tats covered with ostrich feather.
Since that daj If not before It, In
fact, the ostrich plume has lain very
close to the feminine heart, but Its
vogue this year surpasses all records.
The fair votary of Dnie Fashion
may array herself In all that Is beauti
ful and costly, her dress may lie purest
silk, her fingers blaze with diamonds,
her coat he precious fur, but she Is not
nIpy unless the whole be surmounted
by a picture hat, with two, three, or
perhaps four superb ostrich plumes. It
Is almost Impossible for milliners to
meet the demand for high-grade feath
ers, aud if they were dependent solely
ou the stock Imported from Africa, it
would bo quite out of the question, but
the Amerleun ostrich farms at Pasa
dena, Jacksonville and Phoenix have
flourished, and the big bird has proved
himself 6uch a flourishing American
that a large part of the supply Is now
a home product. .
The modern society woman spends
more money on her hats than ever be
fore, for the reason that with shopping,
calling, driving and lunching, she has
her hat on most of the day, and natur
ally must make It the crowning glory
of her costume. Fifty dollars Is no un
common cost for a hat trimmed with
only modest feathers, and the particu
lar customer, who seeks, for example,
a plume, say twenty-four Inches long,
must not be surprised if called upon
to pay $80 for the feathers alone, with
out taking Into account the cost of the
other materials and the making.
But it Is not alone the member of the
four hundred who dons the feather of
the ostrich. Women in more moderate
circumstances can get a very luxurious
effect from a feather that costs less
than $10. In fact a milliner will say
that there Is no form of headwear in
which such good results can be obtain
ed as from ostrich feathers.
The world's total supply of ostriches
Is now said to be about 380,000 birds.
All but 20,000 of these are in Africa,
the native country of the, biggest birds.
The stock Is not decreasing, for It Is
one of the good fortunes of the ostrich
that to take his feathers does not cause
his death. The feathers would drop
off themselves If not removed, and
there is nothing painful about the lat
ter operation, though the vanity of the
bird that Is being robbed of Its chief
ornament makes him resent the pro
cess. The ostrich Is too valuable a bird
to be 111 used, for on the average they
are worth $800 per pair, and each one
will produce some sixty dollars' worth
of feathers every year. Ilon-e It will
be seen that the owner has the strong
est motives of solf-Interest to take care
of the birds. The feathers are never
plucked till they are ripe.
It Is only a little more than two
decades ago since the first ostriches
were brought into the United States
with the serious purpose of attempting
their culture here. Iiefore that time
the only ones seen lu Uncle Sam's
realm had been adjuncts to circuses.
When the experiment was first at
tempted there were many misgivings
as to what success would attend the
venture. It had been the accepted
opinion that the birds would not thrive
anywhere save in the lark Continent.
This doubt lias passed away, for not
a single one of the farms is a loser,
and some are yielding a considerable
profit.
Outside of the first cost of the birds,
ostrich farming Is not a costly ven
ture. The food bill Is not a big one,
or
1 Cf kit
I AyrOh ".- MjA -", tf iy .t-Tttf'-.
This Interesting photograph shows tho nvne lu tho
prison yard at Wormwood S rubs, England, when the
couvicts are taking their dally exercise. The nieii are
taken out in squads. It will be noted that the walks
In the yard are so laid out lu serpentine wanner th:ft
they never cro.s. Every convict has to start In ut one
end aud follow the windings of toe walk until he reaches
ME M
and a farm of a couple of hundred
acres Is big enough to take care .of as
many birds as any farmer would want
to handle. The herds have to lie kept
In inclosures, for while many of them
become tame, others never lose their
wildness and tendency to pugnacity.
The ostrich in this country Is feel
ing so much at homo that it Is more
than a dream of the future that nine
tenths of the plumes nodding over the
American woman's hat will some day
be the product of her own country.
ORIGIN OF THE KISS.
Il EarlleM Form The ( arena of the
Ancient Indian.
At a recent session of the American
Oriental Society Prof. Hopkins of Yale
read n paper on "The Sniff Kiss In An
cient India." Reduced to Its founda
tion, the paper was a history of the kiss
as we know It The learned Orientalist
traced it from Its birth and proved that
the earliest peoples and earliest times
knew It not. That there might be no
mistake he labelled the kiss of to-day
"the genuine kiss" and "the perfect
kiss."
Oddly enough, he finds that the genu
ine kiss was invented by a woman. The
description is given In the epic of an
cient India which treats of the science
of love.
- "She laid her mouth on my mouth,"
recites the poet, "and made a noise
which gave me pleasure."
"The early peoples," declared Prof.
Hopkins, "knew nothing of the kiss In
any form. Had they known of It they
would have told something of it in the
mass of records that has come down to
us, for surely an act which conveys
such pleasure could not have been for
gotten. "Even to this day there are races
that do not kiss. The Mongolians and
certain of the tribes In central Asia
do not osculate, and the Esquimaux, we
are told, employ the kiss only as a
prophylactic
'The earliest form of the kiss Is
that which we know as the sniff kiss.
This is a smelling, usually of the head.
The father of a new-born son sniffed
his head that his days might be long
and that honors might come to him.
Returning from a Journey, he sniffed
the heads of his children in the same
manner.
"Gradually with this sniff kiss there
came also a caress, a touching usually
of the head. Gradually, also, the en
dearment came to be applied to others
than children. The rubbing of noses,
which has persisted In some tribes, was
probably an Intermediate process In Jhe
evolution.
"With the development of the genu
ine kiss the sniff kiss disappeared, nev
er to reappear. It had served Its pur
pose and soon was forgotten."
Thus the sniff kiss proves the mother
and father of all kisses. Blessed be
the sniff kiss. Philadelphia North
American.
MAN'S ACTIVITIES.
Afcrlcnltur Ifoliln the Lettdtnic Mitre
Amonx Them.
At the annual banquet of the Amerl-f-us
Club of Pittsburg, in honorof the
birth of IT. S. Grant, Secretary ot Agri
culture James Wilson. Congressman
Grant Mouscr of Ohio and Washington
Gardner of Michigan were the chief
speakers. Wilson spoke on "Agricul
ture In Our Industries." lie said In
part :
"Agriculture Is a creative force
among our industries. The result of
the farmers' work of 1000 was $ti,79l,
000,000, an increase of 44 per cent over
the last census year. We exported in
190(5 $1,718,000,000 worth of goods of
all kinds, and of this 72 per cent was
grown from farms and forests. Ani
mals and their products yielded $323,
000,000, or 19 per cent, for export af-
CONVICTS TAKING DAILY EXERCISE IN AN ENGLISH PRISON.
the other end. These fellows get coffee aud brend for
brtakfdht aud supier and the same for dluner, with pota
toes and a bit of meat added. It does not seem likely
that the men can banker for much exercise on such fare,
but it Is compulsory. Wormwood Scrub la culled the
greatest penal institution In England.
et supplying the home demand. Cot
ton and cotton products exorted were
$481,000,000, or 28 per cent: grain and
products sold abroad were $197,000,-
000, or 11.. per cent; and $113,000,000,
or 0.3 per cent, was miscellaneous farm
products.
"Forest products are 7.3 per nt of
our exports. We use tobacco extensive
ly and pay around $3,000,000 for im
Krtatlons from Cuba and Sumatra,
Porto Rico, Mediterranean countries
and Brazilian ports. We raised Su
matra wrappers last year to the extent
of $7,000,000 worth. The department,
after discovering principles, conducts
object lessons on the farms of the peo
ple to help them toward better things.
"We found In the Connecticut valley
and In Florida the same soil that grows
the wrapper tobacco In Sumatra, after
visiting that country and studying their
methods and soils. We found In Ala
bnma and Texas the same soil that pro
duces the filler tobacco In Cuba, after
learning what soil Is suitable, and last
year raised 400 acres of It In those
States. We hope In time to grow all
the tobacco now Imported from Cuba
and Sumatra Into the United States."
NO LONGER GOOD FORM.
People In High Society Saj- Appendl
N rltla la Valvar Dlneaae.
The fashionable valetudinarian is
threatened with a distinct bereave
ment. Appendicitis has tieon declared
to be bad form, and those who wish to
preserve a true social eminence must
on no account suffer from It There
was a time when only the educated suf
fered from appendicitis, because only
the educated knew the anatomical posi
tion of the appendix, but In these days
or vulgar equality even, the washer
woman knows where to put her finger
when she is asked where the pain Is.
As a result the siqiergllded must find
a new disease into whose domain the
great unwashed have not yet found
their way.
An eastern scribe has made Inquiries
from prominent physicians and the
worst rumors are confirmed. One great
authority admits that but few opera
tions are now necessary, and that "we
are glad to send our patients from the
surgical to the medical ward, where
hot fomentations and a milk diet are
prescribed."
A well-known nursing sister said
frankly that appendicitis has become
unfashionable, and she added unkindly
thnt fashions In the medical world vary
as much as In the showrooms of a styl
ish dressmaker. A well-known surgeon
admitted that "appendicitis has follow
ed the example of ail fashionable crazes
and U dying a natural death, and for
no other reason than that the laundry
lady has dared to Imitate the duchess.
"Needless to say, I am not alluding
to genuine cases of the disease, but be
cause the fashionable Illness has been
pronounced unfashionable the large
contingent of hysterical patients have
turned their attention to the creation
of some new complaint."
Commerce with Brasll.
To-day there Is wanting In Brazil
what the world calls American enter
prise; our iuflpnee Is scarcely felt In
Rio, says the Reader. We sell loco
motives, sewing machines, paste dia
monds and phonographs, but our sense
of orderliness, our economy of labor
and attention to detail, our eagerness
to get business and promptness In dis
patching It when once got areonly slow
ly being understood. The English and
German firms do things In an old-fashioned
way, falling to recognize appar
ently that the modern methods at home
could with profit be Introduced here.
Yet our commerce with them Is grow
ing. We received from Brazil, In 1004,
$!M),000,000, almost altogether coffee,
rubber and hides, while we sent thein
$20,000,000 worth of machinery, lard
and kerosene. In fact, we are the coun
try of the kerosene can, for our oil
Is known from one end of Brazil to the
other, and many a native will tell tho
traveler from the United States, "Oh,
yes, I know that place; It's where the
cans come from." And often this la
the exteut of his knowledge.
It Is quite clear that to establish the
prestige of the United States In Brazil
the first step necessary is to establish
a North American bank. Not only pres
tige, but iNiwer and commerce nu-nit
tills move. Trade may follow the flag
in political oratory, but a sound hank
and a familiarity with a nation's cur
rency are, to my mind, far more potenf
factors.
Painfully Economical.
Husband You are not economical,
Wife Well, if you don't call a woman
economical who saves her wedding
dress ror a possiote second marriage,
m nue to know wnat you think econ
omy is?
And the mining prospectus gets the
coin while the hard luck story Is bump
ing tne uumps.
There are times when won! fail
man but if he lias a wile it doesn't
matter much. Chicago Mally News,
The way to get rich Is to lay up part
of your own Income and as much as
possible of tit her people's. Sonici vllle
Journal.
Jennie I till von hear of the awful
fright Jack got on his wedding day?
Olive Yes, Indeed I was there and
saw dor. --Tit-Rita.
Frightened Actor
Is tearing her hair!
Well, what of It?
The leading lady
Stage Manager-
It isn't her hair,
Petrol t Free Preys.
Mrs. Browne Mrs. Wythe savs she
thinks that It is wrong to play whist
Mrs. Black It Is. tile way .she plas It
Soii'.ervlllo Journal.
ou have no sense of humor," lie
complained. "You can't take a Joke."
"I took one wluMi I g:it you."" she bit
terly replied. Chicago Record-Herald.
Tom .Maiiiina. lei's move. Mamma
What for. dear Turn oh. I've licked
every kid In the block, an there's no
more fun here. Chicago Daily News.
Girl (to cry!"-: little brother)
Aren't yn ashamed of yourself, Itlck?
Bobbie sajs he lias already given you
two bites. Hi I'.nt It's mv apple,
Mfe.
Shea --Mow long have you been sick?
Ryni-.-Five days. Shea Glory lx;
An why don t ye git a doctor? Ryan
Sure. I got to go to wur-ruk Monday
inariiln . Puck.
"Come In here. I wish to tell you a
piece of gusslp Mrs. Smith told tne."
"Is It good?" "H It? I had to prom
ise not to tell n soul before she would
tell nie." Houston Post.
Iliggins I understand your son Is
pursuing his studies at college. Wig
glns Yes; but from what I can ascer
tain, I don't believe he will ever catch
up with them. Chicago Daily News.
Mr. Meanly I see they are wearing
gowns longer this year. Mrs. Meanly
(fiercely) Well. If they wear 'em any
longer than I do, they will have to
make 'em out of sheet-Iron. Plck-me
op.
Little Dlmpieton How long will It
take you to give mo a working knowl
edge tn Jlu-Jltsu? The Professor Oh,
say, two weeks. "But, heavens, man,
I can't wait all that time to get rid of
that cook." Life.
The Inspector of police was before
the commissioner. "Is there graft In
your precinct?" demanded the superior.
"I think not," responded the Inspector.
"My Imprseston Is that I got it all."
Philadelphia Ledger.
Hicks I dropped around to see tht
Fltz Kloses In their flat last night, but
I couldn't get In. Wicks Not at home,
eh? Illcks Yes, they were all at
home; that was the trouble. Catholic
Standard and Times.
"Sold your automobile, eh?" exclaim
ed Wyss. "What was the trouble?"
"Couldn't control It," explained Acber.
"When I ran fast It took me to the
police court and when I ran slowly It
didn't take mo anywhere." IIarier's
Weekly.
Magazino Editor Your sonnet has
literary merit, but I can't use It be
cause It does not conform to the esab
Hs'hed rules of sonnet writing. Ambi
tious Young Contributor That Is Us
chief merit, sir. It establishes a new
form for the sonnet. Chicago Tribune!
The attendant in the dentist's cilice
approached tho nuiu with the swollen
Jaw who had just entered. "I to you
want to have a tooth extracted?" she
inquired. "Want to," be snorted. "Want
to! What do you think I am, a luna
tic? I've got to." Ann Arbor Chap
urral. Uncle Ebon (telling the Sugarvlllc
news to bis urban nephew) An' Bill
Hanks hez hung out his shingle ez a
lawyer. "That fellow Why, he can't
even read!" "Oh, Bill knows what
lift's a-iloiii'. He's goin' t' make a
spfslin!ty of this onwritten kind, tlief
makln' seed a lilt hyur lately." Pin k.
Chlcanelll, who dad to leave on a
journey , before the end of a case be
gun against him by a neighbor, gavi
orders to bis lawyer to let dim know
the result by telegraph. After sev
eral days he got the following tele
gram : "Right has triumphed." He a
oiue telegraphed back: "Appeal linmi
diately." II Mumlo Umorlstico.
Shrlrklnar Mandrake.
In inediii'val days tde mandrake wa
supposed to shriek or groan when up
rooid. the following lines are takei
from the oldest witchsong extant:
"I last night lay all alnne
On the ground to hear the mandrak
groan.
And plucked dim up though ho grev
full low.
And ns so I did. the cock did crow!"
The shrieks of the mandniko wer
miposei to be so horrible that tho
dearing them went mad. It was cu
tomary, therefore, in gathering t!
plant not only to employ a dog Im
also to stuff tow In the ears. This n
rious notion was explained by Newt
In his Herbal to the Bible by tl
fact that the mandrake was popular
siliised to grow hponlaneously und
a gallows, engendered by the deco'
losed body of the danged man at
was therefore endowed with the spii
or the culprit. It seems probable, bo-,
ever, that, by some mental twist, t
shrieks bad liecomo transferred to f
plant from those delirious with It.
New York Medical Journal.
Their I. Idle t rlrbralloa.
Pete Coopad llmv'd you an yoi
wife celebrate your wooden weddi
yestlday?
Jim Johnson Oh, she dlt me on
head wlf a rollln' pin 'cause .
wouldn't split some kindlln'i ! Puck.
A quiet wedding is but a curlui
raiser for a strenuous afterpart
OPINIONS OF GREAT PAPERS ON IMPORTANT SUBJECTS
PUT IT IN THE
T was this way: You
tunes that were made without working. You
knew a man who Isiught stock for almost
nothing and became a millionaire In a day.
You read the glittering advertisements that
made you feel that only fools remain jsnir
nr.d live by day's work. And then you took
the pitiful few hundred dollars that yon dad saved,
almost a eiiny at a time, .-rid were ready to Invest In
stocks, or ImuuIs, or shares, or o:iiet!ilnc that you really
knew as much aliout us a last year's robin.
Listen a minute. There was a Goelet. a Vanderbilt
aud an Astor. They were born with millions. They
knew more about the making of money without working
fer It than you ever can know. They Inhaled the atmos
phere of Wall street almost from birth. They knew, or
thought they did. the Ins and outs. They never earned
a dollar by the sweat of tlsdr brows. Their millions
were all taken from somebody by tlie process tliat you
were about to investigate wild your savings. They were
keen and clever and dad resources of Information tdat
even tde liost of outside InviMors never will dave.
Along came that notorious manipulator of "securities,"
E. II. Harriman. He, It Is alleged, gave the trio men
tioned Information that should lead to the garnering
of moro unearned millions. Yes, sir. they dad a "tip,"
Just as, you tlilnk you liave one. only their chance of
securing a real "tip" was much Is-tter than yours could
ever be. As near as can lie figured out without Udng
allowed to look at tde hooka, (lie losses of tdese pets of
society will aggregate over $7.0i'0,i!oo. Astor alone was
plucked for $iMXiO,000. and If lie likes It he hasn't told
anybody.
That Is nil of tlie story. You take your savings. If you
have an atom of gray matter left in your upior story,
and hike for a savings bank. Three or four per cent and
safety look better now, don't they? Ies Moines News.
TAXING WILL NOT MAKE
HE taxation of bachelors,
I heard these days, might bo a success as a
B I revenue measure. But no one can jsisslbly
I i . i , l u ii, u t.. , i . .
MiuiK'oe mm ii hi rcniui in unjoin' uciug
forced Into marriage. if a man Is
amenable to considerations of a pecuniary
nature In such n matter, lie will unfortu
nately reflect that paying the fine is not half as expen
sive as supjMirtlng a wife and family. The result will
be that he will pay and remain unwed.
It might be very nice If some way were found to force
men and women Into marriage, and then again It might
not. At present, in spite of occasional outcries about the
number of the unmarried, there does not seem to lie any
particular reason why the nation or any particular sec
tion of It should be disturbed. Enough Iieople fitted for
mariage are marrying every year to guarantee the con
tinuance of the race and a reasonable Increase of popu
lation. As for the men who do not mnrry, the chances
are that most of them are temperamentally unfit for It,
and their union would be a cause of unhapplness to both
man and wife. As for tho women who stay single, they
live in a time and a country where it is not necessary
for a woman to wed to secure an honorable support. The
THE PEASANTS' PLAYTIME.
Jumping- on Inflated a Popular
Bulirarlan C.ante.
The peasants of Bulgaria have varl-
bus peculiar games which they Indulge
ft during their leisure hours when they
hre not at their work or fighting the
Greeks. One of the most popular sports
BULGARIAN YOUTHS JUMPING
is that of Jumping ou Inflated bucksklu
bags. Of course, the foothold Is inse
cure and tlie iHasaut relwumds into tde
air and often pitches forward on his
nose. Tdls delights the spectators, who
beat on drums aud clap their danibl
In glee at tde collapse.
Tlie Inflated bags are strewn at Inter
vals In a line mid one peasant lifter
another tries Ills luck to see If he can
'iieak the skins. If be can, tlie skin
.s Ills as a prize. The cost nines of tlie
iSiilgarian peasants lire very plctur
xipie and, as they Jump lu the air.
heir tdiort Kklrtn whirl about, giving
hetn the appearance of ballet dancers.
CH0P3 OF GOLD.
i Kind of r'armiuu Mails I'oaalblo
Ilia taulle rruci-aa,
Kancliiiieii living along Canon creek,
few miles northwest of Helena,
nt., have a new occupation which
pursue each season, und in many
es the returns far exceed those --ed
frpin ordinary farming, The
'nd t.peratlou Is mluliig aud the
:ner are now getting ready to opeu
r.r this season, and on account of
unusual supply of water splendid
-illts ure expected. ,
During the palmy days of the Glos
mliie, near Marysvllle, when $9,000,
A) worth of gold waa taken out of
' v$ fls . ti i i
ftJcf 1 . - v v; ;
" ,. $r - :V
i:p: tj! iYjii ' - -! j -f ,
XV At, s j-t r i -kAi n"'1 iV 1
;ty&is'S' : kfcf ; w &
R r.Tv .I7'' . Mi k f. ' IV . ' . '' '
BANK.
read about the for
ACCOUNTING
lURING
witn
rate
prior
HUSBANDS.
of which much ta
liiujc-ib
that it
Hague
the property, the cyanide process was
not known and the rich trallings were
allowed to run down the creek and over
the land of tde farmers. It has been
estimated that $4,000,000 was lost In
the slime.
Much Innd was ruined by the tail
ings and suits were brought against the
company for damages. There was one
ON INFLATED IIIItES FOR SPORT,
farmer who built several dams across
the creek on his ranch and allowed tde
tailings to run all over tho place. The
other farmers ' laughed ut him aud
called dim cruzy.
Wlien the cyuulde process was dis
covered this man built settling tanks
on bis place and. It Is said, cleaned up
nearly $100,000 from tde tailings lie
secured.
Tde Cluster das not been operated
since isss, to any extent, but the farm
ers are Htlll operating their i-yanlilo
tanks. Every ranch on ration creek
ou which the tailings were dcjNisitcd
is worth more than the ranch without
the tailings.
The story Is told that several years
ago a former Chicago policeman came
out to Canon creek, ami liought a ranch
on time for $d,ooo. As ftomi as lie took
possession lie mint some cyanide tanks
and la three months had paid for the
ranch and had some nun icy in bank lu
addition.
A uian is always disappointed lu his
wlfo's new dress for the reason that
wdeu do gave her tde money it was So
Much he thought ltd results would be
grcuter.
8oiU' people pose as pea eiiiakeri,
to further their chances of butting Into
the affair of other
failure to marry does not Imply, as It once seemed to do,
n half failure In her Ilfo and mission.
The most serious aspect of the marriage problem to
day s not presented by the failure of many people to
enter Into that relatlou. It comes from the failure of
many wlm have entered into It to realize Its seriousness
and live up to their obligation. When the prohlem of di-.
voree Is fairly well settled It will be time enough to con
sider the other and lesser problem. Chicago Examiner.
FOR RAILWAY DISASTERS.
the first two tnnntha nt 10V7 Amo..
DI lean railway passengers killed In collisions,
I derailments, aud by other causes connected
moving trains numbered 170, or at the
of 1,020 for the year. Compared with
years this Is astonishing, aa Is shown
by tde following table which gives the num
Iht of passengers killed In train accidents during each
of the last eighteen years :
Year. Killed. , Year. Killed.
RHXJ 182 1.897 00
1905 3:,o jsiHl 41
1904 270 1S9.1 30
1903 34 1894 162
1902 170 1893 100
1901 119 1892 190
1900 03 1S91 110
1S99 83 lS'M 113
1898 74 1889 161
Tho variation In these figures, the passenger traffic
iHdng relatively constant, is remarkable. In 1895, when
but thirty were killed. It looked as If an era of safety
dad deen reached. Not until 1901 did tde deaths In any
year exceed one hundred. Why the decrease and the
Increase since? Railways, as a rule, have better equip
ment and roadlieds than ten years ago. There are more
safety appliances. Superintendence has hardly lessened
In carefulness. This suggests that the weeding out of
employes during the business depression had .something
to do with the reduced death loss. Thts explanation is
strengthened by noting bow the death rate has swelled
since with the Introduction of a great host of new- em
ployes. New York Globe.
WARSHIP CONSTRUCTION.
OBODY believes that the world la resdv ta
Nl take a serious step toward the limitation of
I armaments, but the extent to which the
una vrcu Biiivu auu ma certainty
Will be one of the topics before The
conference In June may be taken aa
a measure In the world's yearning for re
lease from the ever-Increasing burdens which armaments
Impose. There is certainly comfort In the belief that,
whatever the obstacles, that which the world wants
badly enough It will get provided It does not want the
Impossible. This, of course, leaves It as an open ques
tion whether disarmament Is one of the Impossible things,
but until that shall be demonstrated the devout aspira
tion of the peace lovers will contlnuo to be for escape
from the military monster that modern civilization has
constructed for itself. Philadelphia Ledger.
1 "H
HE EAENED HIS MONEY.
H-t-tH- r I-1- ! 1- H-1- ! 1- 1-1- ! ! -'
Mr. Hucklns was trying to make over
a screen door for the Widow Jennlngsu
The day was hot and muggy, and she
hung over him all day with questions
suggestions and complaints.
"Aren't you getting that too nar-i
row?" asked the widow, hovering over
the carpenter In a way suggestive ' of
some large, persistent insect
"No, mn'ain," said Mr. Hucklns. "Toui
know a few minutes ago you thought
'twas too wide, and I measured it to
show ye."
"Oh, yes," said Mrs. Jennings. "Well,!
anyway, I believe it'll sag If you don't)
change the hinge. Just hold It up and
see."
Mr. Hucklns held the door In place.
and proved that the hinges were in the!
right spots, aud after that Mrs. Jen-
nlngs kept silence for a few moments. i
"O, dear," she said, grasping Mrv!
Hucklns' hand after tho short respite,
"I'm sure you planed it off so tlie flies'
cau get In at the top! Please hold It
up again, and I'll Just get on a chair
and s;e If n fly could squeeze through.
You may have to add n piece."
When.lt bad been proved that not
even the smallest and most enterprising
fly could find entrance spuee, there was
another short respite. After that Mrs.
Jennings once more had an alarm over
the possibility that the door might stick
somewhere.
When at last it w as hung" and Mr.
Hucklns was ready to depart, the wid
ow asked him for his bill. ,
"I don't muke out any bills," said
Mr. Hucklns, wearily, "but I'll tell ye
what this work'll cost If I'd 've done
It under the ordinary circumstances I
have to contend with, 'twould have been!
fifty cents, but In this case I'll have to
charge ye au extry quarter, ma'am, for
pester."
A Caantlo Itejolntler.
A physician who hud for fifteen
years been one of the doctors of the
Actors' fund, ami who attended hun
dreds of actors with no compensation
whatever, wrote to a prominent man
ager and asked for some theater tick
ets. His request was refused, the man
ager asking what the doctor had ever
done that lie should be entitled to re
ceive theater tickets gratia. The phy-
slciaii Immediately replied. His letter
contained a brief rocltul of his services
to theatrical iieople. In conclusion he
said: "Itesplte my services, as named
aliove, I should not have thought of
usklug you for tlckc-la had It not been
that upon the occasion of the death of
Mr. Blank you assured me that If you
muld ever serve me in any way wdat
ever, you would consider It u favor if
1 would call upon you. However, I
bear you 110 ill will on account of your
present action. I was very glad to at
tend Mr. Blank when he died In your
Ixtx otlkv, and I should lie happy to do
as much for you at any time."
Touch ladertl.
"Its hard," said the sentlmeutal
landlady at th dinner table, "to thlnlt
that this poor little lamb should be de
stroyed in Its youth just to cater to our
appetites.
"Yes," replied the smart boarder,
struggling with his ortlou, "it le
touj;h." Philadelphia Preay
