Women Who Wear Well.
It l astonishing how groat a change a
lew year of married llfo often inakn In
the appearance and disposition o( many
women. The freshness, the chnrm, tho
tirllllance vanish like the bloom from
lach which Is rudely handled. The
matron is only a dim shadow, a faint echo
of the charm In ii maiden. There are two
reasona for this changn, lynorance and
negloct Few young women appreciate
tha shock to the system through the
Chung which comes with marrlags and
motherhood. Slany neglect to dual with
thn unpleasant pelvic drains and weak
nesses which too often como with mar
riage and motherhood, not understanding
that this secret drain Is robbing the cheek
of its freshness and tho form of Its
falroesa.
As surely as the general health suffers
sfhen there Is dermflffnraent of the health
of the delicate womarrtgorgans, so sorely
whrT""tHee organs tmNgstablished In
health Uierace amWjTTlvtOHe witness
CtbeTacllnrHMfrMcomemasa pearly
mlllon women have foupd health and
bpptnM m the use of Dr. Tierce's Fa
vorite I'rr-scrlptiorL,. It makes weak wom
en strong and sick women well. Ingredi
ents on label contains no alcohol or
harmful habit -forming drugs. Made
wholly of those native, American, medic
inal roots most hlehly recommended by
leading medical authorities of all thn sev
eral schools of practice for the cure of
woman's peculiar ailments.
For nnrsing mothers.or for those hroken
dnwn In health by too frequent bearing of
children, also for tho expectant mothers,
to prepare tho system for the coming of
oaby and making Its advent easy and
Almost painless, there la no medicine quite
no good as "Favorite Prescription. It
can do no harm In any condition of tho
system. It Is a most potent Invigorating
tonic and strengthening nervine nicely
adapted to woman's delicate system by a
physician of large experience In the treat
ment of woman's peculiar ailments.
Dr. Pierce may be consulted by letter
.free of charge. Address ). R. V. Pierce,
Invalids' Hotel and Surgical Institute,
Buffalo, N. Y.
The Canadian
&Zt&l'A Woe lc ih
Besl West
The testimony of tent of thousands during th
fast year is that th Canadian West Is theVst
West. Year by year the agricultural return!
have tnersssed in volume and in value, and still
the Canadian 4jotemmeut otters 160 acres free to
very bona fade settler.
Some 0! the Advantages
The phenomenal increase in railway mileage
snatn lines and branches has put almost every
. portion of the country within easy reach of
churches, schools, markets, cheap fuel and every
aaodern convenience.
' Tha NINETV MILLION BUSHEL WHEAT
CROP of thia year means Sbo.ooo.ooo to th
farmers of Western Canada, apart from th
results of other grains and cattle.
For advic and intormatioa address th
mperrnienaent ot immigration, Ottawa, Canada,
r th autnsfiied Canadiaa Oorernment A sent.
W. D. Scott, Superintendent of Immlfration,
Ottawa, Canada, or K. T. Holmes, ji Jackson
.St., StrPaal, Minn, and J. M. MacLachlan, Boa
n, waierrown, do. uakota. AutDortsed UO
intent Am sacs.
Please any whs ywa saw this 4i
Obere Instruction.
Man of the House Verjna, I told yon
4o call me at 7 sharp this morning.
Domestic I called ye as shalrp as I
could, norr, but I could n t wak ye.
"..CI.! TU. 1. 1-1. . 1
der the Pure Food and Drugs Act, Is the
test remedy for constipation, sick-bead-'nche
and indigestion. It purine tha
Mood and cleanses the system.
.MAKING ARTIFICIAL. ICE CREAM.
tCottojsiaoeal Oil Uaed Instead of the
Ordlnarr Inarredlente.
"When Prof. Stlllman of Stevens In
stitute gave a dinner to two friends,
;at which most of the viands were made
artificially by chemical means," writes
Lawrence Perry In the Technical World
magazine, "be had small Idea or the
furore hi efforts would produce. But
ho has received hundreds of letters
-asking how different dishes were pro
duced bo many that he has not had
time to answer many of them.
"The chemical processes which he
employed were some, of them simple
and some quite complicated. To make
-vanilla Ice cream by artificial means,
-for Instance, the alchemist took some
triple refined cottonseed oil and placed
It In a centrifugal machine which re-
-rolved at a velocity of 3.000 revolutions
minute. A beautiful emulsion wae
-.thereby produced, which was then frox
en, chemically, of course. The flavor
Sftaa obtained by the addition of vanll-
illn, glucln and nltrobenzoL They say
that tee cream composed as above la
old In many Southern States where
cottonseed oil is more plentiful and
consequently cheaper than milk or
cream. It Is far from harmful, taatea
rood and doea not melt as quickly OJ
the genuine Ice."
' Worao than an Inanlr.
"Did he offer you tbe 'nault o! a briber
sked tne new Alderman.
"Catch him offering anvhndr a trlht'
xdalmed the Alderman from the 'Steenth
ward. I he dirty tightwad wanted ml
to do It lor nothing!"
APPENDICITIS.
3ot at AU Nocouarr to Operate la
Maajr fa see.
Automobile) and Appendicitis scare
awme people before they are hit
Appendicitis la often caused by too
much starch in the bowels. Starch is
hard to digest and clogs up the digest
ive machinery also tenda . to form
cake La the cecum. (That's the blind
pouch at entrance to tbe appendix.)
A N. IL girl bad -appendicitis, but
lived on milk for a whlle-r-tbeu Orepe-
Jvut and got well without an opera
tion.
She aaya: "Five yeara ago while at
whool I suffered terribly with constipa
tion and indigestion." (Too much
at arch while bread, potatoes, etc.,
which she did not digest.)
"Soon after I left acbool I had an
attack of append Id tls and for thirteen
weeks lived on milk and water. Whoa
J recovered enough to eat solid food
there was nothing that would agree
with me, until a friend recommended
eSrape-Nuta.
"When I began to eat Grape-Nats I
weighed 98 lb., but I soon grew to 115
lbs. Tbe distress after eating left me
entirety and now I aio like a new pea
(A little Grape-Nuts dissolved In, hot
-water or milk would have been much
better for this case than milk alone,, for
he starchy part of tbe wheat and bar
fey is changed into a form of digest
ible sugar la making Grape-Nuts.)
Name given by Postum Co., Battle
m. Mich. Bead the little book. "The
Kmd to Wellvllle." In pkgs. -There's
Madame
Tty Ftrju
CHAPTER XXL (Continued.)
On night," pursued Gaston, In a low,
concentrated voice, grasping Meddlechlp'
wrist firmly, and looking at him with fiery
eyes, "Braulard prepared a poison, a nar
cotic which was quick In IU action, ratal
In Its results. Ho goes to the house or
Adele Blondet at half psst twelve o'clock
-the hour now," he ssld, rspidly swing
ing round snd pointing to the clock on
the mantelpiece, which hsd Just struck
the half honr s "be found them at supper,"
releasing Meddlechlp's wrist and crowing
to the sofa "he sat opposite Kestrixe,
as he does now." leaning forward and
glaring st MedJlechlp, who shrsnk back
In his chair. "Adele, st the head 01 tne
table, laughs and smiles ; she looks st her
old lover and sees murder In his face;
she Is 111 and retires to. another room.
Kestrike follows her to see whst Is the
matter. Braulard Is left alone; ne pro
duces a bottle and pours its contents Into
a cup of coffee, waiting for Adele. Kes
trike returns, ssying Adele is lit; sne
wants a drink. He takes her the poison
ed cup of coffee ; she drinks it and falls"
with a long breath "asleep. Kestrike
returns to tbe room, asks Braulard to
leave the house, Brsnlsrd refuses. Kes
trike Is afraid, and would leave himself;
be rises from the table ; so does Braulard"
here Gaston rose snd crossed to Meddle-
chip, who was also on his feet "he goes
to Kestrike. seizes his wrist, thus drsga
him to the next room, and there lies Adele
Blondet dead killed by the poiaon of
one Jover given her by the other and the
murderers look at one another thus."
Meddlech ip wrenched his hand from
Tandcloup's iron grip and falls back
ghastly white In his chair, with a stran
gled cry, while the Frenchman steod over
him with eyes gleaming with hatred.
"Kestrike," pursued Vandeloup, rapid
ly, "Is little known in Paris his name
Is an assumed one he leaves France be
fore the police ran discover how he has
poisoned Adele Blondet, crosses to Eng
land and returns to Australia, where he
Is called Meddlechlp."
The man In the chair threw up his
hands, as if to keep the other off, and
uttered a stifled cry.
'lie then goes to China." went on Oas-
ton, bending nesrer to the shrinking fig
ure, "and returns a'ter twelve months,
where he meets Octave Braulard yes, tbe
two murderers meet In Melbourne I How
came Branlard here? Was It chance?
No. Was It design? No. Was it Fate?
Yes."
He hissed the words in Meddlechlp's
I ear, and the wretched man shrank away
from him again.
"Braulard." pursued Vandeloup, In a
calmer tone, "also left the house of Adele
Blondet. She is fonnd dead; one of her
lovers cannot be found; th other, Brau
lard, is accused of th crime; hs defies
the police to prove It ; she has been poi
soned. Bah I there is no trace. Braulard
will go free. Stop I who Is this man call
ed Prevol who appears? He is a fellow
student of Braulard's, and knows the poi
son. Braulard Is lost I Prevol examines
the body, proves that poison has been giv
en by whom? Braulard, and none other.
He Is sentenced to death; but he Is so
handsome that Taris urges pardon. No ;
it Is not according to the law. Still,
para his life? Tea. His life Is spared.
The galleys at Toulon? No. New Cale
donia? Yes. II Is sent there. But Is
Braulard a coward? No. Does he rest as
a convict? No. He makes friends with
another convict; they steal a boat, and fly
the island ; they drift, and drift, tor days
and days ; the snn rises, the sun sets still
they drift ; their food Is giving out, the
water in the barrel Is low I are they to die
ef thirst and famine? No. The sky is
red like blood the sun Is sinking; land
U in tha distance they are saved 1 fall
ing on his knees ; "they are saved."
Meddlechlp, who had recovered himself,
wiped his face with his handkcrhclef, and
sneered with his white lips at the theat
rical way Gaston wss beavtng in.
"You know a secret, said Meddlechlp,
nervously, "which Is dangerous to me;
you want to sell it ; well, I will be the
buyer nam your price."
"Five hundred pounds," said Vsnde-
lonp, quietly.
"Is that all?" asked the other, with a
start of surprise ; "I was prepared for five
thousand."
'I am not exorbitant In my demands,"
aaswered Vandeloup, smoothly; "and I
have a scheme on hand by which I may
make a lot of money live hundred pounds
Is sufficient to do what I want. If tbe
scheme succeeds I will be rich enough to
do without any more money from you."
CHAPTER XXII.
Whea Kitty left Mrs. Pulchnp'a real
dence she hsd no very definite Idea as to
what she wss going to do with herself
Her sole thought was to get as far away
from her former life as possible to dis
appear la the crowd and never to be heard
ot again. Poor little soul, she never for
a moment dreamed that It was a case sf
out of the frying pan into the fire, and
that th world at large might prove mor
cruel to her than andnloup.
She went Into town and wandered about
listlessly, not knowing where to go. till
nearly 12 o'clock, and tbe streets were
gradually emptying tberoavlves of their
crowds. She knew these waa a cab start
lug opposite the Town Hall which went to
Richmond, and determined to go home.
At the top ef tbe block, a party of vouna
men in evening dress came round the cor
ner sieging. These were none other than
Sarty and hie friend, rin for anv mis
chief. Brllthorp and BaVty wore walking
arm in arm.
"Hallo!" cried Bellthorn; "sirl Dret
ty r
KiCty tried to get away from thia crew
but they all closed round her, aud she
wrung her hsnda In dewpair.
"Gentlemen 1" said a rich, rollln voice.
whliB proceeded from a portly man who
had fust appeared en th scene, "I am as
tonlshed."
"Ohl" cried Kitty, "it's Mr. Wopple."
"Th same," said th airy Theodore,
laying his band on his heart, "and you,
my dear why, bless me," looking closely
.v i u yon (in i mei
dmibtbi near, aear. 1 will b your
frwad," said th aetar, emphatically, tak
tot; her arm and walking slowly down the
a' reel.
Kitty told him bow she had left Bal
krat, but suppressed the name of her hus
band, aa sh did not wsnt say blame to
ftall oa him. But all th rest she told
freely, and bow en that n'ght sh had
left the man who had wedded and then
rrsctically deserted her.
"Oa, vile human nature," said Wepples,
H sonorous tee. "Where," he contin
Midas
- t Mum
6)
ued, looking inqnlrlngly st the serene
sky,, "where are the thunderbolts of heav
en that they fall not on aucb?"
Mr. Wopples told Kitty bo would tak"
her borne to the fsmily, snd as they were
Just starting out on tear again, she could
come with tbem.
"Bnt will Mrs. Wopples receive me?"
asked Kitty, timidly.
"My dear," said the actor, gravely, "my
wife is a good woman, and a mother her
self, so she can feel for a poor child like
you. In future I will be your father;
Mrs, Wopples, your mother, and you will
have ten brothers and sisters all star art
ists." "How kind you are," sobbed Kitty,
clinging trustfully to him as they went
slong.
"I only do nnto others ss I would be
done by," said Mr. Wopples, solemnly.
"Thst sentiment," continued the actor,
taking off his hst, "wss uttered by One
who will slwsys remain the sublimeat type
of perfect manhood the world hss ever
seen."
Kitty did not answer, and they walked
quickly along; and surely this one good
deed more than compensated for the rest
of the actor's failings.
Vandeloup next morning went to the
City of Melbourne bank, and cashed Med
dlechlp's check for' five hundred pounds,
then, calling a hansom, he drove slong
to tho Hibernian bank, where he had an
account, and paid it in to his credit, re
serving ten pounds for his Immediate use.
Then he re-entered his hansom, snd went
slong to the office of a stock broker called
i'olglase.
Polglaze was a short, stout man, scrup
ulously dressed, with iron grsy hair stand
ing straight up, and a habit of dropping
out his words one at a time, so that the
listener had to construct quite a little
history between in order to arrive at their
meaning, and the connection they had
with one another.
"Morning!" said Polglaze, letting the
salutation fly out of his mouth rapidly,
and then closing it again in case any other
word might be waiting ready to pop out
unbeknown to him.
"I want you to buy me some Magpie
Reef shares," said Vandeloup.
"Many?" dropped out of Polglase's
mouth, and then it shut sguin with a
snsp.
"Depends on the price," replied Vande
loup, with a ahrng; "I see in the papers
they are four shillings."
Mr. Polglaze took up his share book,
and rapidly turned over the leaves found
what he wanted and nodded.
"Oh P said Vandeloup, making a rapid
mental calculation, "then buy me two
thousand five hundred. That will be
about five hundred pounds' worth. Your
commission, I presume, will be three
pence ?"
"Sixpence," Interrupted the stock
broker.
Oh, I thought it was threepence,' 'an
swered Vandeloup, quietly ; "however,
that does not make any difference to me.
Your commission at that rate will be
twelve pounds ten shillings?"
Polglaze nodded, and sat looking at
Vandeloup like' a atony mercantile sphinx.
If you will, then, buy me these
shares," said Vandeloup, rising and taking
up his gloves snd hat, "when am I to
come along and see you?"
"Four," said Polglaze.
"Very well," said Vandeloup, quietly.
I'll give you a check for that amount.
then. There's nothing more to be said, I
believe?" and he walked over to the door.
"Say," from Folglaze.
"Yes," replied Gaston, indolently,
swinging his stick to and fro.
"New?" inquired the stock broker.
"You mean to this sort ef thing?" said
Vandeloup, looking at him, and receiving
nod in token of acquiescence, added,
entirely."
"Risky, dropped from the Polglase
mouth. .
"I never knew a gold mine that wasn't,"
retorted Vandeloup, dryly.
"Bad, in an assertive tone, from Pol
glaze.
"this particular mine, 1 suppose you
meanT said Uaston, with a yawn, "very
likely it Is. However, I am willing to
take the rlxk. Good day! See you at
four," and with a careless nod M. Vande
loup lounged out of the office.
He walked along Collins street, met a
few friends, and kept a lookout for Kitty,
He, however, did not see her, but ther
was a surprise in store for him, for turn
lng round Into Hwanston street he came
across Archie Mcintosh. Yes, there he
waa, with his grim, severe Scotch face,
with the white frill round it, and Gaston
smiled ss he saw the old man, dressed
rigid broadcloth.
"Ah, laddie," said Mclntoah, lrrltoi.lv.
"Have ys seen anything o' the girl that
rln away?" ,
Oh, Miss Marchurst!"' said Vande
loup, smoothly, ready with a lie at once
"No, I'm sorry to say l'vs never set eyes
on her."
"The mistress is Just crazy about her,"
observed Mcintosh, querulously; "and
she's looking sll through th town to find
the poor wee thing.."
"I hop she will, ssld Vandeloup, who
devoutly hoped she wouldn't.
Vandeloup took Mclntoah to the club
and Introduced him all round as the man
ager ot the famons Pactolus. All the
young men were wonderfully tskea up
with Archie and -his plain speaking. Fl
nally hs left andeloup te ge down to
Madam Midas at St. Kllda, and bearing
a mesaag from th Frenchman that he
would call. ther the next day.
Archie having departed, Vandeloup got
through the rest ef the day as best be
could, n met Mr. Wopples in the street,
who told him hew he hsd found Kitty,
quit unaware that th young man before
him was th husband who had deserted
her. Vandeloup was delighted to think
that Kitty had net mentioned hla name,
and quit approved ot Mr. Wopplee' In
tentloa t take the girl oa tour. Having
thus arranged far Kitty's future, Gsston
went along to hla broker, and found th
astute Paiglss hsd got him his shares.
"Going trp," ssld Polglase, ss he hand
ed tha scrip te Vandeloup and got a che
la exchange.
"Oh, Indeed!" said Vandeloup, with
smile. "I suppose my two friends have
begun their litrt gam already," he
thonght, as he slipped ths scrip into his
breast pocket.
' "Information?" asked Polglase, as Van
delonp was going.
"Oh! yoo'd like te know whr I got
it." said M. Vandeloup, amiably. "Very
sorry I east tall you ; but yea see, nty
aeat air, i am not a womai, and can kee
a secret." ...
Vandeloup walked out, and Polglase
looked sfter him with a puzzled look,
then summed up his opinion In one weid.
sharp. Incisive, snd to the point.
'".lever," ssld Folslsze. snd put the
check In his safe.
"Bebo Is out of my way," thotieht Van
deloup with a smile; "I have a small for
tune In my pocket, and," he continued,
boiiRhtfuIly, "Madnme Midas Is In Mel
bourne. I think now," said M. Vsnde
loup, with s no ther smile, "that I have
conquered the blind goddess."
CHAPTER XXIII.
Madame Midas hsd experienced pov
erty snd the coldness of friends, so wss
completely disillusionized as to the disin
terested motives ef the people who now
came flocking sronnd her. She was very
wealthy and determined to stop In Mel
bourne for a year, and then go home to
Europe, so to this end she took a house
t St. Kilda.
Vandeloup called on Madame Midas the
day sfter she arrived, and Mrs. Villlers
was delighted to see him. Having an ob
ject In view, of course Gaston mnde him
self as charming as possible, and assisted
Madame to arrange her house, told her
about the people who called on her, sir,
made cynical remarks about tbem, all of
which amused Madame Midss mightily.
She grew weary of the insne gabble and
narrow understandings of people, and It
waa quite a relief for her to turn to Van
deloup, with a keen tongue and clever
brains.
Vandeloup had prospered In his little
venture in the mining market, for the
Magpie Reef shares ran up rapidly. A
telegram was phbllsbed from the manager
stating a rich reef had been struck. Speci
mens of the vary richest kind were dis
played in Melbourne, and the confiding
public suddenly woke to the fact that a
golden tide was flowing past their doors.
1 hey rushed the share market, and In two
weeks the Magpie Reef-shares ran from
four shillings to as many pounds. Vande
loup Intended to sell at one pound, but
when he snw the rapid rise and heard
every one talking about this reef, he held
his shares till they touched four pounds,
then, quite satisfied with his profit, he
sold out at once and pocketed nearly ten
thousand pounds, so that he was provided
for tbe rest of his life.
Kitty meanwhile had become a great
favorite with the Wopples" family, and
they mnde a wonderful pet of her. Of
course, being In Rome, she did as tha Ro
mans did, and went on the stage as Miss
Kathleen Wopples, being endowed with
the family name for dramatic reasons.
The family were now on tour among the
small , towns of Victoria, and seemed to
be well known, as each member got a re
ception when he or she appeared on the
stage.
(To be continued.)
LOTS OF WORK FOR THE LIVER.
Manufacturer, Seavensrer, Filter,
Life Preserver and Closed Door.
The business of the liver Is to manu
facture antidotes for poisons, snys San
derson's Magazine. It Is a rendering
establishment to which the little corpses
that accumulate in the body are car
ried to be destroyed, just as Lu tbe
cities dead animals are gathered up by
a scavenger and converted Into useful
things.
All the corpuscles ef the body die
every six weeks, Every second of our
lives something like 18,000,000 of these
red cells have to be disposed of and the
liver does part of tho work of grinding
them up and working them over Into
something, useful.
The red corpuscles have potash In
tbem, which Is used for making bile.
Tho bile Is a kind of lye for making
sonp In the small Intestines. Tlie-eoap,
like all good home-made soaps, Is dis
infectant; it Is n splendid antiseptic
and germicide.
The coloring matter is carefully
saved out of these red cells, and sent
beck Into the body to be used for dye
ing the hair, tinting the skin and paint
ing tho dark chambers of the eye where
the photographing Is done.
If the liver does not do this work na
efficiently ns It ought, these little
corpses accumulate In the body. la
other words, the body becomes a sepul-
cher and we carry about with us dead
things that should have been discharg
ed from the body through the bowels,
the kidneys, the skin and the lungs,
and should have returned to dust again.
The liver Is a closed door which
keeps poisons out of the rest of the
body. Tbe kidneys, skin and lungs are
open doors to let the poisons escape
from the body. When there comes such
a flood upon the liver It cannot keep
the door shut It Is forced open a little
way and lets the poisons through Into
the blood.
Then the blood Is not purified, the
Impurities go through and the body be
comes filled with them. The brain be
comes confused, dull, stupid nnd tho
roan feels bilious the poisons get Into
the muscles and he feels weary and
worn out ; they get Into the nerves and
he has sciatica or lumbago; the nerve
centers get irritable and inefficleut nnd
there Is nervous exhaustion and per
haps melancholia. 1
All the food taken Into) the stomach
Is filtered by tho liver before It Is ab
sorbed. That is why one can, with np
parent Impunity, take such thing as
tea and coffee, whisky, beer, tobacco,
tc. All these Impurities are passed
through the liver before they get Into
the general circulation. If they should
go straight to the brain the drinker
wonld die shortly after taking his glass
ot wblsky.
When the liver Is plump and healthy,
full of glycogen made from the bloed.
It hna a wonderful faculty of dostrov
lng poisons; but r starved liver can-
not do this. A dose of medicine taken
on an empty stomach la much more
powerful In Its effects than a similar
dose taken when the stomach furnishes
the liver with material which It makes
use of to tight poisons.
Nothln' Doln.
The Hobo Tlease, mister, will
jouse gimme er few pennies fer me
starvin' wife?
Old Bachelor Not me. Ia the first
place I haven't got any Dentilee:
tbe second place I have ne earthly
use ror a starving wire and la the third
place 1 don t want a wife anyway.
I'n aa Oowa.
"I see that King Edward took
friendly tip on Pacific railway stocks
and matte some money.
"That's all right. But I bepe the
time won't come when Ed will have to
hypothecate the crown la order te save
bia margins." Cleveland Plaut Dealer.
"He's nerfectlv wild over bin new
auto." "Huh! You should nee him
under It" Milwaukee Sentinel.
The young man spoke bitterly : "Do
you take me for a fool 7" "Oh, George,"
she said, "this Is so sudden." Mem
phis Journal,
Mrs. Nurlch.proudly Thnt clock on
the stairs Is more than two hundred
years old. Mrs. Blueblood CuttlDg-
Ah, of whom did you. buy It?
First MIlllonnlre-r-You were laid tip
In your house nil '.last week, weren't
you? Second Millionaire Yes. "Sick
ness or Investigation comiultMe?"
Life.
Brown Do you think the Panama
Climate Induces laziness? Town-
Does It? Why I took some bees down
there once and they got so Iniy they
wouldn't sting.
Hodge What's old Scribbles dolngl
He looks poverty-stricken. Podge ne
Is writing a series of articles on "How
to Get Rich Without Capital." Cleve
land Plain Dealer.
Mrs. Trust Magnate (newly rich)
I wnnt one of them octopus-shaped
rooms for the library. Cynical Archi
tect So appropriate, dear mndnm.
Baltimore American.
Burr Do you think the end of tbe
world will ever come? Dock I
thought It had this morning; my wife
got her new hat home nnd there wasn't
a thing wrong with It
The Agent If you have this ma
chine, sir. you won't take anybody's
dust The Magnate Then I don't
wnnt It I'm out for everybody's
dust. Cleveland Leader.
Algernon I aw have resolved to
aw do something useful In the
world, doncher know. Miss DeStyle
Indeed! Algernon Yaws. I am aw
learning to tie me own ties. Chicago
Dnlly News.
"What class of people do you think
has been most benefited by the libra
ries you have founded?" ''I'm not
sure," answered Mr. Dustln Stax.
"But I kind of suspect It's the archi
tects." Washington Star.
Teacher If coal Is $3 per ton. how
many tons could you get for $-0. Dis
turbing IClcMiH'iit Three tons. Teacher
That's wrong. Disturbing Element
I know it Is, but they will do It
Just the same. Harvard Lampoon.
"I am a worthless thing!" exclaim
ed the rejected and dejected young
man, despairingly. "Oh, no," replied
the fair girl cheerfully. "Not worth
less. Your skeleton alone would sell
for twenty dollars." Somervllle Jour
nal. "That was an awful break BImerly
made last night after he bad proposed
to the rich Miss Anteek and been ac
cepted." "What was it?" "Just after
she had accepted him he asked if she
gave trading stamps' Commercial
Progress. ;
Surly Strong Gin me a nickel,
missus? Missus I should think a big,
strong man like you would be ashamed
to ask for money. Surly Strong I
am, missus, but I ain't got der nerve
to take It without askln. Phlladel
phla Record.
"Dubiey bought a horse the other
rjny ." "i'es, and he was hor
rlbly stuck, wasn't he?" "Oh! you've
seen the horse then?" "No, but he
told me he was going to buy one from
4a friend who Is in the business.'"
Philadelphia Press.
Bibliophile (aghast) I beg your
pardon, madam, but that book your
little girl is playing with is an old
and exceedingly . rare first edition.
Caller Oh. that's all right, Mr. Vlb
bert It will amuse her Just as much
as If It were nice and new. Chicago
Tribune.
"Did your bull terrier get a blue
ribbon at the show?" "Yes," "I
should think you would hang it up
In a promlneut place." "No. You see,
this was a hair ribbon he snatched
from a little girl, and we had to pay
her father not to make any trouble."
Cleveland Flaln Denier.
"Anything peculiar about these peo
nle that have Just moved Into the
house next door to you, Mrs. Cross
way?" "No; there's nothing unusual
about them. They've borrowed a step,
ladder and a tack-haninier, and turu
ed their children loose In our back
yard." Chicago Tribune.
Souio Odd Wills.
One of the oddest documents of tht
will kind known was that of Queen
Austrlglldn, consort of King Goutrum
of Burgundy. Tho dying princess en
Joined upon her husband to slay and
bury In tho same grave with her the
physicians who hud attended her. An
other w ill was that of a husband who
forbade his wife's marrying on pain of
his returning to -haunt her. This Is
quite different from thnt of a woman
who Instructed her executors to seek
out "some nice, good, pretty girl" who
would make an affectionate second
wife to her spouse. It Is a fact Inter
esting In this connection thst the first
Napoleon actually bequeathed 10,000
franca to a fellow named Cantlllon,
who bad been tried for attempting the
assassination of the Duke of Welling,
ton.
Her Head Was Hot.
Lady Dorothy Nevill in her reml
nlsceuces 'tells this story ot the two
Misses Walpole, her cousins: "Ou one
occaslou, wbeu both of the two were
well over' ninety, Mlaa Fanny, the
younger, who bad that day been rather
III, only Joined her sister In the sitting
room Just before dinner. On her ar
rival downstairs the latter (Miss Char
lotte by name) remarked: 'Fanny, I
am going to be 111. too. I feel so hot
about the head. It must be apoplexy.'
'Nothing of the sort!' exclaimed Miss
Fanny, making a dash at her sister's
bead. 'Your cap'a ou fire, and I'm go
ing to put it out' And so the brava
old thing did."
Those who are luvlted to sing at a
party, alway report havlug a good time.
REALTY BOOM IN OLD EGYPT.
Cairo Land Market Brisk Knonsa
for Anr Occidental Town.
Egypt has a flrat-clnss real estatt
boom In fuJI swing. It wuld not have
been livelier In the days when Ramesea
the Great was bulling tho statuary mar
ket that posterity might never lack for
reproductions of his unlovely counte
nance. The' riches which the conquer
ing armies of the legendary Sesostrts
brought home from Asia could not have
lubricated business In tbe Nile valley
better than British Irrigation works
and the "pax Brltauulca" that peace
of Britain which still lands disturbed
for ages.
Look at Cairo, a city which was old
before London was founded. A year
ngo last October the house used as tbe
American agency was sold for $125,000.
The seller made $30,000 profit The
next mouth the house was sold again
for IISO.COO. In the fall of 1900 tbe
owner refused $250,000 for the same
property. That Is a rise of 100 per
cent In a single yenr, which Is quits
enough for the most enthusiastic boom
town of the newest country where any
one will give a quarter of a million
dollars for a house and lot
Land in the business district of Cairo
which sold for about $4 a square foot
n year ago Is worth $15 now. Other
property more desirable has risen form
$8 a square foot to $23, which meous
$3,500 a foot for frontage 140 feet deep.
And the sphinx looks across the desert
at this scene of speculation such as
Seattle might boast of times of real
estate excitement. The pyramids are
In plain sight from Cairo honse tops.
It's all something like getting a full
fledged Amerlenn boom 1n action on the
banks of tho Styx. One would be as
likely to think of starring Buddha In
vaudeville.
Egyptian frlsklliess Is not confined
to Cairo by any moans. It extends up
nnd down and across the delta
ot the Nile. Everywhere the shops
of tho goldsmiths are crowded
with customers who want orna
ments made out of the coin they
have received for their cotton nnd other
crops. The whole country is riding
a flood tide of prosperity.
In the light of such conditions in the
land of tlto I'haroahs It is not surpris
ing that great things are predicted
for Bagdad or. that Peking shows signs
of following Tokyo out of the sleepy
past Into tho niuch-allve present of
modern civilization. Cleveland Leader.
James Russell Lowell once related an
Incident of his residence as minister to
Madrid, to illustrate the matter of dip
lomatic dress and gratuities. The Hon.
John W. Foster, who was Secretary ol
State In Harrison's Cabinet, tells th
story as Mr. Ixwell told It to him, In
his recently published "The Practice o
Diplomacy." On the occaslou of a roy
nl fete day Mr. Lowell repaired to thi
palace, attired In plain evening dress
as wns the custom of American minis
ters at such ceremonies. The carrlagt
of the minister from one of the repub
lics of Central America preceded his.
Owing to the poverty of its treasury,
that republic had accepted the service!
as its represenative of a retired Span
ish merchant, who performed gratul
tously the light duties of his post be
cause of Its social privileges. On suet
occasions the royal stairway, famoui
throughout Europe for Its architectural
beauty, the pride of the Spaniards, wai
lined on each side at every step with
the royal guards in gala uniform, and
at ench of severol landings there wai
stationed a giant halberdier holding a
huge medieval battle-ax.
As Mr. Lowell ascendde the stairway,
the Central American minister, gor
geously appareled in a brilliantly gold
embroidered uniform, with Jeweled
sword, wns saluted by the magnificent
halberdier with a heavy whack of th
battle-ax on the marble pavement,
which resounded through tho arches.
As Mr. Lowell passed the landings h
received no attention, ns he bore no In
signia Indicating his oillce. As from
one landing to another he beard the
echoes of the salutes to his colleague
preceding hlru, his patriotic blood be
gan to boll, nnd at tho last landing he
addressed the halberdier In good Span
ish: "Do you know who I am?''
The soldier replied that he did not.
"Well," said Mr. Lowell, "I am the
minister plenipotentiary of the United
States of America, the greatest nation
on tho earth, nnd If you don't whnck
the next time I pass you, I will for
get you at Christmas."
Late Drflnttlone.
"Be careful, here comes a grafter,'
said one ns they saw him enter the cafe
and glance around over the crowd as If
In search of somelody he knew.
"He's not a grafter," said another.
"He'a a piker."
"What's the difference?" asked the
first.
"A grafter Is a man who borrows
money," was the answer, "and never
pays It back, but a piker is a rung
lower on the ladder. He has given up
all hope of getting more money, but
he'll wait around till you buy him a
drltik, or he'll take your box of cigar
ettes when you are not looking and
anpty half of thein Into bis pocket"
Women on Hsuiss Railway.
The number of women employed ot
the RusHlan railways Is Increasing.
According to the latest official returns
there nre now working on the 25 Rus
sian state railways no fewer than 32,
000 women as gatekeeiera, clerks, tele
graphists, etc. Tbe average wage va
ries from 130 te 135 rubles yearly or
from $05 to $70. Tbe extremes are
very great Thus, the women clerks re
ceive on an average from 450 rubles to
400 rubles, or about $230, while the
wonieu attendants at stations are paid
only 40 rubles, or about $19.50 a year,
In addltiou to free lodging and a few
extras.
We all have different Ideas, A bill
collector's Idea of a perfect gentlemaa
Is one who watta tor the bill collector.
Instead of sending In bis check.
The Evolution of
Household Remedies.
The modern patent medicine busi
ness U the natural outgrowth of the'
old-time household remedies.
In the early history of this country,
EVERY FAMILY HAD ITS HOME
MADE MEDICINES. Herb teas,
bitters, laxative and tonics,were to be
fonnd In almost every house, com
pounded by the housewife, sometimes
assisted by the apothecary or the
family doctor. Such remedies as
picra, which was aloes and quassia,
dissolved in apple brandy. Some
times a hop tonic, made of whiskey,
hops and bitter barks. A score or
mere of popular, home-made remedies
were thus compounded, the formulae
for which were passed along from
house to house, sometimes written,
sometimes verbally communicated.
The patent medicine business is a
natural outgrowth from thia whole
some, old-time custom. In the begin
ning, some enterprising doctor, im
pressed by the usefulness of one of
these home-made remedies, would
take it up, improve it in many ways,
manufacture It on a large scale, ad
vertise it mainly through almanacs
for the home, and thus it would be
come used over a large area. LAT
TERLY THE HOUSEHOLD
REMEDY BUSINESS TOOK A
MORE EXACT AND SCIENTIFIC
FORM.
Peruna was originally one of these
old-time remedies. It waa used by
the Mennonites, of Pennsylvania,
before it was offered to the public for
sale. Dr. Hartman, THE ORIGINAL
COMPOUNDER OF PERUNA, Is of
Mennonite origin. First, he pre
scribed It for his neighbors and his
patients. The sale of it increased,
and at last he established a manu
factory and furnished it to the
general drug trade.
Peruna is useful In a great many
climatic ailments. Buch as coughs,
colds, sore throat, bronchitis and
catarrhal diseases generally.
THOUSANDS OF FAMILIES HAVE
LEARNED THE USE OF PERUNA
and its value in the treatment of
these ailments. They have learned
to trust and believe in Dr. Hartman'a
Judgment, and to rely on his remedy,
Peruna.
The Poi and tho Grape.
Every schoolboy knows that the fa
ble of the fox and the sour grapes li
Inaccurate from a natural history point
of view, says a London newspaper,
and, as usual, every schoolboy li
wrong. An eminent Oxford professoi
on hearing the point discussed the oth
er day actually brought some grapei
and then went to the zoo, where hi
tried them on a fox, who ate then
greedily I
. i
Llfe-SaTlBsr Service.
In perhaps no other country is the
life-saving service as proficient as in
the United States.
The sytem was first established In
1871, and there are ' at present 277
life-saving stations supported by the
government 192 of which are on the
Atlantic coast 68 on the Great Lakes,
1(1 on the Pacific const, and one at the
falls of the Ohio River near Louisville.
There were only Hi :." disasters along
the coasts during the year ending June
30, 1905, and out of 4.08D persons in
volved only twenty-seven were lost
Where He Kicellea.
Church What degree did your sot
get at college? t s,
Gotham S. S. .
"Never. heard of such a degree."
"Oh, yes you have. Short stop."-.
Tonkers Statesman.
DON'T GRUMBLE AT TRIFLES.
rwtotr-STi Bushel Wheat aal
Forty-Hvo Bnahel Onto Pa Aaa-e
Ari la Western Caaada,
Saltcoats, Sask., Dec. 8, 1000.
To the Editor Dear Sir:
I willingly give you the result of my '
four and a half years' experience In
tbe District ot Saltcoats.
Previous to coming here I farmed In
Baldwin, St Croix County, Wis., and
as I have heard a great deal about the
Canadian Northwest, I decided to take
a trip there and see the country for
myself. I wss so impressed with tbe
richness of the soil that I bought half
a section of land about five miles from
tbe town ot Saltcoats. I moved on to
tbe land the following June, and that
year I broke 90 acres, which I crop
ped lu 1904, and had 3J bushels wheat
per acre. In 1905, with an acreage of
100 acres, I had 24 bushels wheat and
35 bushela of oata ier acre. In 1900,
with 176 acres under crop, I bad 25
buabela wheat and 45 bushels of oats
per acre.
From the above mebtloned yields
you can readily understand that I am
very well pleased with the Canadian
West Of course, I have bad to work
hard, but I don't mind that when I get
such a good return for my labor.
To any one thinking about coming to
this country I can truthfully say that
If they are prepared to work and not
grumble at trifles, they are bound to
get on. ' Some things I would like dif
ferent, but take the country all round,
I don't know where to go to get a bet
er. Yours truly,
(Signed) O. R. OLSON.
Write to any Canadian government
agent for literature and full particulars.